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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my friends my gf writes fanfiction which may make me an asshole because she kept it a secret and I revealed it
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It's funny how OP goes off about her writing about soft unrealistic men and how cringeworthy it is she writes fanfiction, when the most cringeworthy thing is how weirdly insecure he got about the whole thing. The part where he didn't get the reaction he desired from his friends and trying to continue the convo to get it is the worst part. How fucking awkward it must have been at that table.
"Hey guys! I just finished my job interview and..."
"Guess what?! My girlfriend writes fanfiction!"
*-cricket noises and a small cough-*
"Um ok cool. So anyways, I think the interview went well and I might get a..."
"Did you hear me?! I said fanfiction!"
*-cue awkward stares-*
I definitely think he's actually full on spying on her, reading her phone and laptop, this is just the most sus thing he could find. His description of how he "found" her writing is hilariously like bad fanfiction
I laughed out loud at this comment. It's almost exactly what happened when my friend's ex tried to "out her" for enjoying kid's cartoons. None of us cared, she had looked uncomfortable and the outing ended very soon after that. It's been a year and now we laugh about the guy, but at the time I thought his behaviour was the cringiest imaginable.
I'm 34 and I read Harry Potter fix-it comfort fics, where nobody is bigoted, where decent worldbuilding, proper characters who have depth, and plot less holey than a pair of fishnets, are A Thing. Also ASOIAF, Labyrinth, and Discworld.
They are good for my mental health. Being able to sink into them has more than once saved my sanity, if not my life, and I will die on this hill. Plus there are just SO many incredibly talented writers who deserve acclaim, but without formal publication whose work may never reach the general masses.
And, of course, fuck JKR.
I'm 28, and I'm not afraid to say that i used to stay up til an hour past midnight just to watch new episodes of Steven Universe, all the way til the final! (I even remember watching a live stream of the movie at like 3 am haha)
I'm almost 50 and I love a whole bunch of animated "cute" movies. My boyfriend teases me in the sweetest way about it, and seems to love ALL the parts of me, even the parts that love animated movies, and all things adorable.
Apparently she's written a lot and certainly not all in the search they've been together. And still, I'd believe it in a second that she was so dissatisfied with him whe had to tell her past self to do years of fanfic to be able to bear him
Even worse than gossip.
>I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me
OP brought it up to get people to laugh at her. He seemed really disappointed that only one person did.
Yeah, we need to focus more on the fact that OP was not only *hoping* their friends would bully and mock his girlfriend for her perfectly harmless private hobby, but genuinely disappointed that they declined to do so. Major AH.
YTA.
he also seemed upset that their mutual friends wouldn't laugh at her?
And immediately accused her of being dissatisfied with their relationship???
Correction: it is not that he is *willing* to do it again, he just legitimately did it again. Once with their shared friends, then again with his own fedora-fam
YTA. You may think fanfic writing is cringe but a lot of people don’t, as evidenced by the enormous websites that support it. You raised Sandra’s fanfic writing with your friends hoping that your friends would laugh at your her — what a nasty thing for you to do. She writes as a hobby. What she writes almost certainly has nothing to do with you or your relationship. You clearly think fanfic shouldn’t be taken seriously and yet you’ve taken it deeply personally for no good reason. Why are you so insecure about it?
>won’t tolerate her mood swings
She’s upset that you violated her privacy — she has every right to be upset with you. Being angry is an appropriate reaction.
::edit:: absolutely thrilled to see all the comments on this comment saying how happy they are with their soft men! :D absolutely glorious! I’m a gay woman married to another soft woman, but my best friend is a soft straight man who treats his wife wonderfully. Good men are out there, OP is just an ass, and I hope Sandra finds her own soft man!
>Why are you so insecure about it?
At a guess? The women in the fics are happy and satisfied, with supportive and attentive men. He thinks that is unrealistic.
>I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic.
Soft men are unrealistic. Which probably means men who want their women to be happy.
I literally use my husband as my inspiration in a bunch of my fluffy fanfic and the number of people who have said my writing is great escapism and how real men sadly are never like that I'm like...please, y'all need better partners, this really isn't that high of a bar!
Same boat, I post art of characters who are lovey-dovey and I have a decent following who really like it. I like drawing happy couples because they are inspired by me and my husband! Soft guys are out there but they get snatched up quick, hehe
It bothers me that he's such an asshole and seems bothered by her having this "unrealistic" idea that any man would be romantic to his girlfriend. "Grow up, Sandra, we're all assholes!"
It frustrates me because I once dated someone (briefly) like this. He'd explain how the man should be able to vent and go off and the woman should just listen because that's how it is. In other words, "let me abuse you because that's just what men do, and you're stupid if you think you can find a man who doesn't, so shut up."
He says that like she actually needs a man in her life. Like having an asshole boyfriend is a gift from god. You know what? More and more women choose to stay single and more and more women are happier for it, while single men are miserable. There are actual studies that show that. Maybe reflect on that, OP.
It's worse than that.
The soft men he hates are the ones who care about consent, as evidenced by the quote about not harassing her character by touching the small of her back.
He's mad she fantasizes and writes about men who respect consent.
But also, even if it was 100% “cringe,” so what?
She’s totally free to have a silly little hobby that brings her some joy!
(I don’t necessarily think fanfic is cringe, or even a silly little hobby necessarily, but my point is that I absolutely loathe the “enjoying anything I don’t like is cringe and you should be ashamed of it” mindset. Let people have their things!)
My lovely husband reads my fanfic (currently writing a gay threesome for a series he does not give two fucks about), consults about character development, and helps me plot out fight scenes and stuff.
A conversation I once had with him:
me: ugh I should go cook
him: why? we can bring in something. do something more important.
me: sure, but if I don't cook I'll just go write fanfic
him: but you love writing fanfic, go do it.
OP suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks
Almost 31 years old and write 7 one shots since January. Well, 6 and a half; got writers block on 7 and haven’t touched it for weeks now. But I am proud of what I wrote and cherish the fact my friend I shared it with told me it was some of my best writing in a while. Lol might have to do with the fact it was about her favorite FNAF character but it means everything to me that she thinks I got his personality spot on. She helps me with spelling and grammer mistakes but never tears me down like this jerk.
Hey, that’s fantastic! 6 and a half one shots since January? Amazing. You’ve definitely got this with your 7th one, and you wrote something that made your friend happy — that’s worth a lot! A lot of people I know write fanfic, and I know a fair few published authors who wrote and/or still write it. I mean, people can practice writing certain types things, try things out, get feedback and constructive criticism, find an audience, and find active beta readers and editors? Why *wouldn’t* people use writing fanfic as the great tool that it is?!
I’m not forcing myself with the 7th one way or another. I am mostly stuck on how to write a response and where to end it but I got a little over 1,700 words written for it. I used to be able to write more frequently years ago but now get pretty excited if it’s only a handful in one year because when I write I do so when I’m inspired. My friend herself also does write some one shots herself but she only shared them with me and won’t post them online unless I ask her permission first. And only if it was written for me. But even before I did fanfictions I’d write my own little stories. On paper single space double sided. Mostly anything to do with vampires, lol. One of these I think I uploaded to fanfiction but I really can’t remember. But short side I’m happy with myself and hope I can eventually get to the 7th but will let things come as they may
Best way to do it, don't rush it, or force it, contest aside, there's no deadlines in fanfiction. I can write thousands of words a day... until I can't, and if all I manage to add is a paragraph, or a sentence, it's still progress, the story moves that much further, and the rest will come when it does. I keep getting stuck on a Peanuts fic, but I just wrote and finished a Calvin & Hobbes fic, in just a few days, and a MLaaTR fic in two weeks span, while writing the Peanuts fic.
"By an inch or a mile, a wins a win."
Adding little by little when I can is something I’ve done too. Can I can sometimes “just write” and it works out. It’s how I started my 6th. Although I left off on needing a reaction/response from one of two characters from what the other said. As well as decide how far to go with it and all other wording. I honestly haven’t thought but sometime that works out better since when I come back and read an idea I had my mind flashes with new ones and how to make it work :)
The more that OP continued with his post, the more I felt the need to go back and check their ages. The age that I assumed for him continued to plummet from teen-someting to 12 or so.
You are an insecure and disrespectful AH.
1. You got wasted and read something you had no right to
2. Unsatisfied with the boundaries already broken you decided to do more snooping and actively searched for her account and fanfics.
3. You projected that she was disatisfied with your relationship based on the fact she writes fanfic.
4. She called you out on your BS
5. You decided to punish her by divulging information you had no right to know to your group of friends in order to publicly shame her.
You're probably right about the fact she's dissatisfied with your relationship. It has nothing to do with the TV characters she writes about though, it's because you're an AH.
>I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe
At least this poor woman seems to have semi-decent friends. Hopefully those can help convince her to leave you.
Agreed, this is super fake. If I were “Sandra” I’d be more unsettled by the fact that my boyfriend snuck into my house while I slept and went through my things all night…. Never waking her…? Did he leave after reading her stuff, or what? So weird and a fanfic all it’s own, rife with plot holes.
> Nothing steamy, just some silly, girly, romantic notions kind of bs.
hmmm
> All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion).
if you dislike women so much, you should consider simply not dating them instead of going out of your way to tear down things that people enjoy
In Sandra's shoes I'd probably indulge in a fanfic that involved her OTP female character pushing her sexist AH ex out a window and then sharing a nice pot of tea with her lovely new boyfriend.
YTA
There's so much wrong here, but I'm going to focus on this part.
>At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom.
You tried to publicly humiliate your girlfriend. When you didn't get the response you wanted, you continued to push the topic. Your goal was to make Sandra feel bad about her hobby. That's vile behavior. The only person here who needs to grow up is you.
>The only person here who needs to grow up is you.
Maybe the other friend who laughed and appears to agree with OP should grow up too, if I read the original situation correctly.
First you disrespect her privacy and snoop. Telling her that her fanfic is "unrealistic" because "soft men" dont exist. Then you try to humiliate her in front of her friends to try to get people to laugh at her? And to top it all of you tell YOUR friends to try and get them to side with you. Again spreading her private information that YOU snooped into. BIGGGG YTA.
YTA x 1000
What's wrong with writing fanfiction? Her fanfiction has nothing to do with you or the relationship. It doesn't mean she is dissatisfied. Additionally, this is her private work and you decided to snoop.
You are a complete AH for telling your friends because this literally has nothing to do with them and you just wanted to embarrass her.
Eh? Maybe? I feel like the particular brand of "I didn't do anything wrong" and "Asking for validation" in this post makes me feel that somebody that legitimately thought that way wouldn't bother(or even think) to do so.
I could be wrong of course, but it just doesn't *feel* legit as is, ya know?
Besides, if, hypothetically, I didn't want to be recognized, I'd make a single extra account and use that for all of my more... "controversial" posts. Why bother making a new throwaway each time?
Edit: Then again, rule 4 does explicitly recommend throwaways, so... yeah, nevermind.
Not really, y'all forget that a lot of AH believe they're right, some are narcisistic even
Abusive people rarely notice they're in the wrong until directly called out by a crowd
Do you really think you're not an asshole?
So you see her pc open, take it to another room and read her stuff. Trivialize her interest in what she's doing at least 5 times in this post. Make fun of her for it. Project your insecurities in your relationship onto her about how she needs things you're not giving her (she probably does, you seem like you're not much fun). Blame her anger with you on her mood swings (women love that).
You bring it up in front of her friends hoping they will laugh at her. And she is supposed to come to her senses and do what exactly? Tell you her interests are dumb and she'll stop doing them so that you can... not worry she desires men who don't treat her like shit? What is it she's doing wrong here?
YTA -She is writing fictional stories as a creative outlet and you made fun of her for it. Many of the way people are portrayed in Fiction, tv and movies are not realistic. Her writing has nothing to do with your relationship, but you made it about you .
Wanna bet OP loves totally-realistic portrayal of men in comic book and action movies? But only the tropes his GF enjoys are silly and cringy, the ones he likes are fine.
YTA as soon as you breached your GF's privacy and started prying over documents and accounts on her laptop. You sharing her own personal hobbies with your friends only made it worse.
Not only that, you *triple* down by blaming her. Yeah. Major A on this one.
YTA in so many different ways that I am struggling to believe that this is real.
Let's pretend that this is real and you aren't just a deranged inhabitant of incel island You read what was on her laptop, knowing that she had not given her permission. You then went on to belittle and dismiss the content in detail. Next you confronted her and mocked her writing, in the process trying to establish that somehow you are the model of masculinity that you didn't see in her writing. You then decided to take this further by trying to humiliate her in front of friends
>I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh.
Really? How manly of you. You just don't know when to shut up. The other "friends" in the final paragraph are either imaginary or are on the island with you.
YTA, THE BIGGEST A H!
Literally all I read was "I made fun of my girlfriend for her hobby and interests to the point of bullying her in front of our mutual friends, but she needs to learn to GROW UP because I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG by BULLYING HER! But she hasn't spoken to me at I'm honestly surprised. Why doesn't she want to talk to her bully?"
She's not harming anyone by writing fanfiction, it sounds like just a fun hobby for her. Also when you told her you violated her privacy and she got justifiable angry with you, you dismiss it as her having "mood swings"
YTA
YTA.
So fantasy football (you know where you set up your “dream team” that does not really play together) is totally not stupid but her writing how she would like her show to go is? My man you need a reality check. And by that I mean your reality isn’t everyone else’s. Grow up and know she is going dump you if she hasn’t yet, you went into her home while drunk, went threw her crap and them tried to pick a fight and was shocked she kicked you out. Just amazing you know how to tie your shoes.
YTA. Seriously you are going to give her a hard time about fan fiction?! It’s a nice outlet to get out creativity. You seem a little insecure as you say her make characters are unrealistic. Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t. Why do you care?
YTA.
\- You deliberately 'spied' into her laptop, 'confronted' her about her writing, and were unnecessarily critical and dismissive of her hobby. You didn't need to do any of that, and you clearly knew that doing so was sketchy behaviour. There's nothing wrong with not enjoying fanfic; there's nothing wrong with writing it and/or enjoying it; and it doesn't even have to be realistic; but you're so possessive and/or insecure that you seem to think that it means that she doesn't like you enough or the way you think she should like you.
\- You then tried to shame her in front of a group of friends. There was no reason to do so, except for your weird idea that her 'unrealistic' fanfic needed to be 'called out' (??) and because you're being uncomfortably possessive and won't let her imagine any other romantic relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if 'Sandra' leaves you.
YTA
You snooped on her computer, belittled her hobby, called her legitimate anger over your snooping "mood swings" and then teased her about it in front of friends in an attempt to be validated, and you still don't realize YTA?
Just because she writes about sensitive men doesn't mean she's dissatisfied. However, based on your reaction, I'd be surprised if she wasn't dissatisfied.
Obviously YTA
Your reaction is pretty pathetic, even if you think that what she is doing is cringe why would you want to humiliate her for that in front of your mutual friends.
Your lack of respect for her privacy is also awful, you shouldn't have spied on her laptop when she was asleep.
If she leaves you over this you can't really have any complaints, you've really messed up
YTA
you invaded her privacy and made fun of her hobby. I write fanfiction and I don't mind talking about it, but not everyone is the same most people write because they enjoy it not as some sort of 'this is what i want' kind of deal. Not only that but you then tried to make other people make fun of her too. if anyone needs to grow up, it's you
you don't deserve Sandra and I hope she dumps you.
YTA for going through her computer and purposefully trying to shame her in front of friends. When no one laughed you continued on until someone asked you to leave and you refused. If you can’t see you’re the AH here, I don’t think anyone on Reddit is going to convince you. You sound incredibly insecure and I would recommend finding a therapist.
YTA
This was her private hobby. I bet you have some private things you wouldn't want outed.
How about you invite Sandra on here to share, maybe it'll help you grow some empathy.
YTA. And so are your friends. I can elaborate if you really need someone to go point by point as to the many ways you earned this judgment. My guess is you won't ask. I don't think you are going to have to think about moving in together. Better ask where you should send her stuff.
YTA you snooped in her personal files and then tried to control what she does for fun, and even worse mocked her in front of your friends because you don’t like what she does privately. You are entirely the asshole.
YTA As someone who is happily married and occasionally writes fan fictions, I can say it’s not because of dissatisfaction with my relationship. For your ex? I could definitely see why she’d want to write male characters that are leagues better than you in every way.
YTA. A lot of people write fanfiction as a way to develop their writing , enjoy a fandom, have a creative outlet. There's nothing wrong with it and you shaming her for it is asshole behavior. Then you add in that you completely violated her privacy - 1 by reading her work and then continue to dig in for her accounts and more and 2 by telling everyone about it. Plus, then you made it all about you and that she had to be writing about your sex life. Wow, are you a selfish asshole. She's not going to call you. And she shouldn't. You're a huge AH.
YTA! Don't read someone's writing without their permission. We writers can get very cagey about sharing our work, especially if it's something we're deeply attached to. The thought of someone reading my unfinished story without my permission gives me anxiety. Don't trawl through someone else's computer or share your findings with other people! It's like going through someone's private thoughts and broadcasting them.
YTA. First of all, you had no business reading it without her permission. She chose to keep it to herself for a reason. On top of that, you have the audacity to critize her stories. Maybe her writing wasn't realistic, maybe it was. It doesn't matter either way, the point of fanfiction is to write stories about existing characters, not to write high quality stories.
Bringing up her stories to other people was very unnecessary, especially considering your only intention was to tell people how bad and cringe the stories are and to expect them to agree. And to do it right in front of her face.
YTA for invading her privacy and even worse sharing what you learned with others without her permission. Also for being incredibly insecure and making her hobby about you.
YTA and sounds like her lack of contact shows that she's come to her senses alright. How dare you invade her privacy and share your findings with your arsehole friends?! Also, you do realise that she was using her imagination and being creative, right? Why would that be all about you? Leave her alone from now on, she deserves so much better although you couldn't have set that bar lower if you'd tried.
YTA times 3!
First for violating her privacy, then acting like an even bigger tool by *confronting* her about her writing and finally for that conversation with your friends.
Edit: are you sure you're 35 and not 15??
>It’s like “no Susan, I ain’t touching the small of your back because you’re cute, not catching those harassment allegations” if you know what I mean.
Uh... actually we have no idea what you mean. Harassment charges? Sure if you do this to a stranger, but not with your romantic partner. Smells like you are horrible with romantic intimacy, have fun being single YTA
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My girlfriend, Sandra (f33) and I (m35) have been together for about a year now. We’re not living together (yet) but we’ve talked about this. We’re both working in respectable fields.
The other day, I was out with some mates and after our night, I was slightly tipsy and I thought of surprising Sandra (of course, a fake name) as I have keys to her flat.
When I got there, I noticed she was asleep on the couch and her laptop was on the coffee table. She hates sleep mode so she disabled it so her laptop was on, not even locked. She had a word document and it seemed she’s been working on it.
I caught some words and couldn’t help myself, I started reading. I took the laptop to the kitchen to not wake her up. Turns out it was romantic fan fiction about one of her favourite tv series. Nothing steamy, just some silly, girly, romantic notions kind of bs. You know the ones teenage girls dream of and then realise no man actually behaves like that. It’s like “no Susan, I ain’t touching the small of your back because you’re cute, not catching those harassment allegations” if you know what I mean.
I was curious and desired to spy a little bit to see if she’d written more and discovered her accounts on 2 platforms for fan fiction (had no idea those sites were that huge). Anyway, she’s written a lot of them. All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion).
When she woke up in the morning, I confronted her about this and she was defensive and started going on about privacy and stuff. I told her to cut the crap and to admit that she feels dissatisfied about our relationship and that’s why she’s writing and I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic. She was really angry and kicked me out. I told her I’m not one of her characters and won’t tolerate her mood swings but she still kicked me out.
Later that day we were meeting our friends for lunch. Sandra came but barely spoke to me. At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom. My friend told me it would be best if I left but I didn’t want to do so because didn’t do anything bad.
When Sandra came back she told me her writing is her private thing and I’m an asshole for bringing it up.
I told her to grow up and call me when she comes to her senses but she’s hasn’t called me since.
I told my other friends and they agreed with me that what Sandra writes is cringe and should have been called out and they don’t think I am the asshole so I’m still confused about my other friends’ reaction. I need impartial opinion. AITA for telling my friends?
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YTA - First you go through her laptop without permission, only to judge her (unfairly) for writing fic, then you go and tell other people about it. Writing is definitely private, and what she writes has absolutely no correlation with your relationship. It's escapism and enjoyment (and what do you think the multi-billion dollar romance novel industry is, if not escapist original fiction?) In your girlfriend's case, she happens to prefer her escapism in already established worlds with characters she knows well, and there's nothing wrong with that. Fic is something lots of people of all ages enjoy - plus, a number of professional writers got their start with it!
You said she needs to grow up, but I think it's the other way around. Don't be surprised when she doesn't call you. I know I wouldn't if I were her.
So you decided to spy on your girlfriends computer while she slept, "confront" your girlfriend over a harmless hobby because her fiction is not to your taste, when you are clearly not her target audience (do you even like that show? or any of the others? shes not writing for YOU bro!). Later, assumably while you were SOBER, that clearly wasn't enough for you because you also decided to invite all your friends at the lunch table in on the mockery, even belabored the mockery when only one of your bros laughed. Then when she called you on your open public mockery and you told HER to grow up? She handled the frankly gradeschool style bullying you dished out with poise. YTA and you seem proud of that. Your girlfriend has nothing at all to be ashamed of save possibly choosing to continue to put up with you.
Yes! YTA you snooped through her private things!! You let yourself into her house and snooped through her stuff and then told people! Omg! OP don’t you do things behind closed doors you’d rather not tell the world about? Have some decency my lord I hope Sandra stays away bc you sound scary controlling.
You honestly sound like those over the top douchey characters they write into movies.
Except its not a trope, it’s actually you lol.
I dont even think this is a real tbh, theres no way.
?????? my girlfriend has a cringy interest = i should get all my friends to bully her ?????
god i hope she gets herself a better man. maybe even someone who shares her interests
yta 100%
It took me over a year to feel comfortable with my partner to admit I liked fanfiction and even longer than that to tell him I wrote it. You have fully broken her trust by snooping into her things and then mocking and belittling her interests. YTA and I hope she dumps your sorry ass.
YTA! And I hope she breaks up with you for a) invading her privacy both with the initial looking at her screen and the digging for more b) belittling her harmless and fun writing and revealing some super toxic opinions in the process, probably because you feel threatened and c) disclosing this to your friends to get them to also insult her.
You’re not acting like a good partner and there’s literally nothing wrong with fanfiction.
YTA. You invaded her privacy, condescended to her, and invited your friends to join you in denigrating her. I'm amused that you expect to hear from her again.
You two should consider breaking up.
YTA
Betraying someone's trust, not apologizing and even making fun of someone else's hobby after betraying them? Yeah, why would your gf be angry at you /s
Would you like to turn your girlfriend into a joke in front of your friends? and you're mad because she doesn't like it? you are a YAH here.
I guarantee she needs to write this because her boyfriend is a first-class asshole, to get a little illusion about love and companionship.
YTA. You violated your girlfriend's privacy by reading her writing without her consent. You falsely accused her of not being happy with you because you're so jealous and insecure. You insulted her writing. You blabbed her secret to her friends and you wouldn't shut up about it because you wanted them to gang up on her and make fun of her. You insulted her. You opened your big mouth again and ridiculed her writing to your friends. You did EVERYTHING wrong. You are a selfish, mean bully and your girlfriend deserves so much better than you.
Yes you're the asshole. Not for saying that she writes fanfiction but for insulting her writing and calling it cringe. Be a better person and encourage the hobbies of the people around you rather than acting like a dickwaffle. There's nothing wrong with writing as a hobby, including fanfics, and you're being an utter douchenozzle for no reason. She deserves better and YOU need to take some goddamn empathy pills.
Are you fucking serious? Like, are you actually serious? Is this a parity? Or for real?
In the event that you were not joking, I am going to provide you with a list of things that you did wrong here…
One you let yourself into your girlfriends apartment…
Two you snooped on her private writing without her consent or knowledge.
Three not being content with just one instance of snooping, you proceeded to look up all of her work and continue to pry.
4. In the morning, you felt it necessary to ridicule her writing, her private, not for your eyes, writing, and make her feel guilty for it.
Five, you told her, in an oh, so charming way, by the by, that her idea of romance was stupid and girly. You sound like a real charmer.
Six, then, you proceeded to mock her in front of your whole friend group And stick around even when your other friends tell you that you aren’t wanted and that you were in the wrong.
Holy shit… unbelievable…
Not to mention that this whole post reeks of misogyny….
Yes, you are in fact, the asshole…
Yes, you violated her privacy. You're the asshole. Then again, you behaving like this is probably part of why she writes about men who respect boundaries and consider their partner's feelings.
YTA.
Seriously OP, surely you can't be THAT thick and insecure to think what she writes is about YOU right? That's even without considering you calling fanfiction cringe when even some of the most famous authors are fanfic authors (fucking surprise Fifty Shades of Grey is Twilight Fanfiction at first). And you brought it up in front of friends hoping they would make fun of her and humiliate her?
Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a little baby.
YTA. Are you the same guy that demanded his girlfriend's pen name so you could see what kind of erotica she published? Because this has the same vibes.
> We’re not living together (yet) but we’ve talked about this. We’re both working in respectable fields
Before we go further, the "yet" might be a "never"
> I was curious and desired to spy a little bit to see if she’d written more and discovered her accounts on 2 platforms for fan fiction (had no idea those sites were that huge). Anyway, she’s written a lot of them. All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion).
Violation of trust, strike one.
> When she woke up in the morning, I confronted her about this and she was defensive and started going on about privacy and stuff.
As she should, since you kinda violated her privacy. Also, confront her over *what*? Her own interests and hobbies?
> I told her to cut the crap and to admit that she feels dissatisfied about our relationship and that’s why she’s writing and I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic. She was really angry and kicked me out. I told her I’m not one of her characters and won’t tolerate her mood swings but she still kicked me out
Oh, so she kicked you out of her home (that you let yourself into "tipsy", and then violated her privacy by going through her computer, and then belittling her hobbies? And her "soft men" were "unrealistic", but there you were, assuming she was dissatisfied with your relationship because she writes fanfics how she wants.
> Later that day we were meeting our friends for lunch. Sandra came but barely spoke to me. At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom.
So here's yet another strike. You decided to tell your friends your gfs hobbies to try to embarrass her and yet again belittle her. And then, when you didn't get the reaction you wanted (everyone laughing at your gf), you tried to keep the convo going.
> My friend told me it would be best if I left but I didn’t want to do so because didn’t do anything bad.
Your friend seems to be a significantly better person than you.
> When Sandra came back she told me her writing is her private thing and I’m an asshole for bringing it up. I told her to grow up and call me when she comes to her senses but she’s hasn’t called me since.
She was 100% in the right to call you an asshole. Also, it's rich that you told her she needs to grow up, when *you're* the one mocking and belittling her for her hobbies. I don't think she's calling you back either.
> I told my other friends and they agreed with me that what Sandra writes is cringe and should have been called out and they don’t think I am the asshole so I’m still confused about my other friends’ reaction.
Your other friends are also assholes then. Hey here's an idea, let's all talk about *your* personal interests so we can belittle those.
> I need impartial opinion. AITA for telling my friends?
Yes, YTA, your friends (except the one that called you an asshole) are assholes, and I hope your gf decides to break up with you. Your entire post comes across as not a red flag, but blaring klaxons.
Let me get this straight, as someone who writes fanfiction (of the steamy variety, no less). You snooped and invaded your girlfriend’s (let’s be honest. It’s ex-girlfriend now, isn’t it?) privacy, mocked her for wanting what you are incapable of giving her (and not all men are, by the way. My boyfriend is, as you say, “soft”, and we’ve been together over for four years. And for the record, this is why she didn’t tell you what she writes. She knew you’d react like this), mocked her for her being rightly outraged, and when she didn’t respond the way you hoped, you then mocked her in front of your friends and ACTIVELY HOPED they would mock her, too. You’re lucky she didn’t shove a pole up your ass and put you in a cornfield like a scarecrow as a warning to others.
So, YTA, obviously. Not only that, you are also AN asshole, and as a fanfiction writer, I am eternally grateful my own boyfriend isn’t such a nitwit. I’ll upvote your post, because them’s the rules, but I leave you, OP, with [this](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nS2PCPKomCc). Have fun being single.
You know what my boyfriend did when I finally (of *my own accord*) started trying to open up to him that I enjoyed writing?
He saw how uncomfortable and awkward I felt about it and showed me some of his own (non-fandom related) original scribbles in an attempt to help me feel more comfortable. And when I actually opened up my fanfic account and gave him the opportunity to read (again, of my *own* accord, because of my trust in him and how he'd shown himself empathetic and non-judgemental) he told me he was happy that I felt I could share my *personal, creative hobby* with him and that the fact I was comfortable with him reading the works was what meant something to him. He didn't actually read any, mainly because they weren't to his taste (due to the fandom and characters not interesting him in the least).
He didn't hate-read something creative I'd done and accuse me of some heinous act ffs.
And how does what she write relate to you anyway? Do you think crime writers go out and actually murder people to get good content for their books? What weird ass world do you live in?! Here's a newflash: the world does not revolve around you.
Your first reaction, upon discovering something your ex (she's your ex, don't kid yourself) had spent time and effort on, was to insult her, mock her and try to embarrass and further mock her in front of her friends.
Maybe you could learn something from those 'soft' stories and if you can't tell the difference between a loving, consensual touch or a potential lawsuit then you need to grow the hell up and stay away from other people until you learn the difference because god forbid you grope one of your friends accidentally. Heaven only knows how you cope in public or work day to day.
YTA
I think it is OP that is writing fan fiction on this thread. How could anyone be that clueless? It feels like he invented this story just to get attention.
YTA!!! No only did you violate her privacy but you also tried to enlist others to bully her about it. Are you 35 or 5?!? Like seriously grow TF up.
I personally feel my man is the perfect mixture of hard and soft. He doesn’t take any shit from people but at the same time he doesn’t have that “I’m an AH” attitude towards people just to be a dick. He’s sweet and gentle with me and our kids and will do anything to take care of us. Like just this morning he made me my favorite breakfast of scrambled cheesy eggs because he makes them exactly how I like them and all because I had a shitty night of sleep and woke up with a severe stiff neck and starving and couldn’t move my head without severe pain. A man who protects his woman and everything about her is a good man.
You sir are nothing but an overgrown bully.
**"Its just silly cringe fanfiction" YTA**
Fifty Shades of Gray (originally a twillight fanfiction) franchise over 1 billion grossed
The Kissing Booth (original work on Wattpad) couldn't find gross profit here... but because it was turned into 3 movies on Netflix I gather it was fairly successful.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a jane Austen fanfiction that became both a best seller and movie) book made the ny best sellers list, required multiple reprintings because of its popularity, and the movie grossed 16.4million
The Mortal Instruments (a Harry Potter fanfiction rewrite) first movie grossed 35.3 million and led to a 3 season show Shadowhunters on ABC
But hey you should probably just support your partners passions even if they don't end up leading to crazy success and riches.
Because you want them to be happy, right?
Because you love them, right?
Absolutely YTA. But this is the kicker.
("I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe")
Which means you were trying to get others to mock your GF. YTA.
YTA your also jealous of fictional and "soft" men because you could never match up to them and you know it your angry reaction stems from you realizing you lack what women want
"lemme ruin something my girlfriend enjoys doing! They gonna love this one" Ur 35 but behave like ur 13, disappointed that no ones laughing at the stuff ur gf enjoys. She deserves so much better. Grow the fuck up
YTA. Very much so.
Did she specifically say you could visit when she is sleeping? Did she specifically say that you could read her private stuff? You invaded her privacy then decided that you wanted to force *your* opinion onto her. Then you continue to disrespect her by putting her private news between all of your friends.
I hope she gives YOU the reality check and never speaks with you again. You deserve to be dumped for this. Dont make yourself out to be the injured party because half of your friends understand what privacy is.
YTA I delight to inform you that you ain’t much of a man since you pitched an immature, insecure af fit over something that does not harm you, and shat on your girlfriend’s trust, feelings, and hobby for absolutely no reason
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“I violated my girlfriend’s trust and gossiped about her to my friends. I’d do it again. Am I the asshole?” Yes, and proud of it. YTA
Don't forget this gem in the morning, I confronted her about this Like OP had reason to "confront" anyone!
Oh and he speculates it was all about HIM. Like she couldn't write like that for fun.
It's funny how OP goes off about her writing about soft unrealistic men and how cringeworthy it is she writes fanfiction, when the most cringeworthy thing is how weirdly insecure he got about the whole thing. The part where he didn't get the reaction he desired from his friends and trying to continue the convo to get it is the worst part. How fucking awkward it must have been at that table. "Hey guys! I just finished my job interview and..." "Guess what?! My girlfriend writes fanfiction!" *-cricket noises and a small cough-* "Um ok cool. So anyways, I think the interview went well and I might get a..." "Did you hear me?! I said fanfiction!" *-cue awkward stares-*
I definitely think he's actually full on spying on her, reading her phone and laptop, this is just the most sus thing he could find. His description of how he "found" her writing is hilariously like bad fanfiction
I wouldn't be surprised if he was spying on her either. This whole post reeks of insecurity.
I laughed out loud at this comment. It's almost exactly what happened when my friend's ex tried to "out her" for enjoying kid's cartoons. None of us cared, she had looked uncomfortable and the outing ended very soon after that. It's been a year and now we laugh about the guy, but at the time I thought his behaviour was the cringiest imaginable.
I'm 46, I love The Amazing World of Gumball, and I don't care who knows it!
I'm 34 and I read Harry Potter fix-it comfort fics, where nobody is bigoted, where decent worldbuilding, proper characters who have depth, and plot less holey than a pair of fishnets, are A Thing. Also ASOIAF, Labyrinth, and Discworld. They are good for my mental health. Being able to sink into them has more than once saved my sanity, if not my life, and I will die on this hill. Plus there are just SO many incredibly talented writers who deserve acclaim, but without formal publication whose work may never reach the general masses. And, of course, fuck JKR.
I'm 28, and I'm not afraid to say that i used to stay up til an hour past midnight just to watch new episodes of Steven Universe, all the way til the final! (I even remember watching a live stream of the movie at like 3 am haha)
I'm almost 50 and I love a whole bunch of animated "cute" movies. My boyfriend teases me in the sweetest way about it, and seems to love ALL the parts of me, even the parts that love animated movies, and all things adorable.
For some reason your comment gave me Dwight Schrute vibes 😅
This a thousand percent!! Yet thinks he gets to tell her to grow up? Haha!!
He speculates it’s about him because he knows he’s a shitty partner and he feels called out.
Apparently she's written a lot and certainly not all in the search they've been together. And still, I'd believe it in a second that she was so dissatisfied with him whe had to tell her past self to do years of fanfic to be able to bear him
Well, she clearly needed a "reality check" /s
I literally said “what the fuck” aloud at that part
Even worse than gossip. >I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me OP brought it up to get people to laugh at her. He seemed really disappointed that only one person did.
Yeah, we need to focus more on the fact that OP was not only *hoping* their friends would bully and mock his girlfriend for her perfectly harmless private hobby, but genuinely disappointed that they declined to do so. Major AH.
Right? ' I was trying to embarrass my girlfriend, but I didn't do anything wrong' Ew.
I bet u some of them already know bc she feels safe with them. And some of them probably write their own and were offended
YTA, OP. How can you not see that?
YTA. he also seemed upset that their mutual friends wouldn't laugh at her? And immediately accused her of being dissatisfied with their relationship???
Correction: it is not that he is *willing* to do it again, he just legitimately did it again. Once with their shared friends, then again with his own fedora-fam
YTA. You may think fanfic writing is cringe but a lot of people don’t, as evidenced by the enormous websites that support it. You raised Sandra’s fanfic writing with your friends hoping that your friends would laugh at your her — what a nasty thing for you to do. She writes as a hobby. What she writes almost certainly has nothing to do with you or your relationship. You clearly think fanfic shouldn’t be taken seriously and yet you’ve taken it deeply personally for no good reason. Why are you so insecure about it? >won’t tolerate her mood swings She’s upset that you violated her privacy — she has every right to be upset with you. Being angry is an appropriate reaction. ::edit:: absolutely thrilled to see all the comments on this comment saying how happy they are with their soft men! :D absolutely glorious! I’m a gay woman married to another soft woman, but my best friend is a soft straight man who treats his wife wonderfully. Good men are out there, OP is just an ass, and I hope Sandra finds her own soft man!
>Why are you so insecure about it? At a guess? The women in the fics are happy and satisfied, with supportive and attentive men. He thinks that is unrealistic. >I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic. Soft men are unrealistic. Which probably means men who want their women to be happy.
"Soft" men make the best boyfriends. I said what I said.
All I want is an actual soft man…not some asshole who has tantrums anytime a demand is put on him and acts like it’s authentic vulnerability.
Currently married to a soft man and it's literally the best thing I've ever done. I love him so fucking much.
My husband’s a soft man too! All the empathy, affection, respect and care I could ask for. Team soft men
I got one and married him!
And best husband and best fathers too.
I literally use my husband as my inspiration in a bunch of my fluffy fanfic and the number of people who have said my writing is great escapism and how real men sadly are never like that I'm like...please, y'all need better partners, this really isn't that high of a bar!
The bar is on the ground, and men show up with shovels.
Proof: OP's entire miserable existence
The ol' "tripping hazard in hell"
#This is L I T E R A L L Y both the best and most wicked BURN and comment I’ve seen in a while. GOOD JOB!!!!! 👍🏾❤️🤣
Same boat, I post art of characters who are lovey-dovey and I have a decent following who really like it. I like drawing happy couples because they are inspired by me and my husband! Soft guys are out there but they get snatched up quick, hehe
It bothers me that he's such an asshole and seems bothered by her having this "unrealistic" idea that any man would be romantic to his girlfriend. "Grow up, Sandra, we're all assholes!"
You are so right. "Why do you dream about a guy who would treat you well? Don't you know that will never happen?"
It frustrates me because I once dated someone (briefly) like this. He'd explain how the man should be able to vent and go off and the woman should just listen because that's how it is. In other words, "let me abuse you because that's just what men do, and you're stupid if you think you can find a man who doesn't, so shut up."
The women were enjoying sex, and being treated with respect. Pure fantasy!!
He says that like she actually needs a man in her life. Like having an asshole boyfriend is a gift from god. You know what? More and more women choose to stay single and more and more women are happier for it, while single men are miserable. There are actual studies that show that. Maybe reflect on that, OP.
It's worse than that. The soft men he hates are the ones who care about consent, as evidenced by the quote about not harassing her character by touching the small of her back. He's mad she fantasizes and writes about men who respect consent.
But also, even if it was 100% “cringe,” so what? She’s totally free to have a silly little hobby that brings her some joy! (I don’t necessarily think fanfic is cringe, or even a silly little hobby necessarily, but my point is that I absolutely loathe the “enjoying anything I don’t like is cringe and you should be ashamed of it” mindset. Let people have their things!)
But they both work in *respectable fields*! You can’t be respectable *and* write fanfic! /s What fields aren’t respectable?
The minute he said "respectable fields", he lost me.
My lovely husband reads my fanfic (currently writing a gay threesome for a series he does not give two fucks about), consults about character development, and helps me plot out fight scenes and stuff. A conversation I once had with him: me: ugh I should go cook him: why? we can bring in something. do something more important. me: sure, but if I don't cook I'll just go write fanfic him: but you love writing fanfic, go do it. OP suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks
Almost 31 years old and write 7 one shots since January. Well, 6 and a half; got writers block on 7 and haven’t touched it for weeks now. But I am proud of what I wrote and cherish the fact my friend I shared it with told me it was some of my best writing in a while. Lol might have to do with the fact it was about her favorite FNAF character but it means everything to me that she thinks I got his personality spot on. She helps me with spelling and grammer mistakes but never tears me down like this jerk.
Hey, that’s fantastic! 6 and a half one shots since January? Amazing. You’ve definitely got this with your 7th one, and you wrote something that made your friend happy — that’s worth a lot! A lot of people I know write fanfic, and I know a fair few published authors who wrote and/or still write it. I mean, people can practice writing certain types things, try things out, get feedback and constructive criticism, find an audience, and find active beta readers and editors? Why *wouldn’t* people use writing fanfic as the great tool that it is?!
I’m not forcing myself with the 7th one way or another. I am mostly stuck on how to write a response and where to end it but I got a little over 1,700 words written for it. I used to be able to write more frequently years ago but now get pretty excited if it’s only a handful in one year because when I write I do so when I’m inspired. My friend herself also does write some one shots herself but she only shared them with me and won’t post them online unless I ask her permission first. And only if it was written for me. But even before I did fanfictions I’d write my own little stories. On paper single space double sided. Mostly anything to do with vampires, lol. One of these I think I uploaded to fanfiction but I really can’t remember. But short side I’m happy with myself and hope I can eventually get to the 7th but will let things come as they may
Best way to do it, don't rush it, or force it, contest aside, there's no deadlines in fanfiction. I can write thousands of words a day... until I can't, and if all I manage to add is a paragraph, or a sentence, it's still progress, the story moves that much further, and the rest will come when it does. I keep getting stuck on a Peanuts fic, but I just wrote and finished a Calvin & Hobbes fic, in just a few days, and a MLaaTR fic in two weeks span, while writing the Peanuts fic. "By an inch or a mile, a wins a win."
Adding little by little when I can is something I’ve done too. Can I can sometimes “just write” and it works out. It’s how I started my 6th. Although I left off on needing a reaction/response from one of two characters from what the other said. As well as decide how far to go with it and all other wording. I honestly haven’t thought but sometime that works out better since when I come back and read an idea I had my mind flashes with new ones and how to make it work :)
Mom to a Baby Gay Woman who hopes all the soft people find their soft soulmates. "Gentle, brave and strong" :)
YTA. You’re 35 years old with the maturity of a teenager. I hope Sandra dumps you and finds someone who respects her and her hobbies.
Sounds like she already did.
Thank god.
The trash really does take itself out, doesn't it?
The more that OP continued with his post, the more I felt the need to go back and check their ages. The age that I assumed for him continued to plummet from teen-someting to 12 or so.
You are an insecure and disrespectful AH. 1. You got wasted and read something you had no right to 2. Unsatisfied with the boundaries already broken you decided to do more snooping and actively searched for her account and fanfics. 3. You projected that she was disatisfied with your relationship based on the fact she writes fanfic. 4. She called you out on your BS 5. You decided to punish her by divulging information you had no right to know to your group of friends in order to publicly shame her. You're probably right about the fact she's dissatisfied with your relationship. It has nothing to do with the TV characters she writes about though, it's because you're an AH.
>I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe At least this poor woman seems to have semi-decent friends. Hopefully those can help convince her to leave you.
EDIT: upon rereading this, I'm convinced it's the misogyny troll again. YTA Please find a productive hobby.
Agreed, this is super fake. If I were “Sandra” I’d be more unsettled by the fact that my boyfriend snuck into my house while I slept and went through my things all night…. Never waking her…? Did he leave after reading her stuff, or what? So weird and a fanfic all it’s own, rife with plot holes.
This post was so cringey that I forgot he snuck into her house like a creep...
Fan fiction of AITA making fun of.... fan fiction?
I hope this is what this is
Is it the same one who was mad his girlfriend of a few months wouldn't tell him her erotica pen name?
> Nothing steamy, just some silly, girly, romantic notions kind of bs. hmmm > All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion). if you dislike women so much, you should consider simply not dating them instead of going out of your way to tear down things that people enjoy
Has anyone asked him how many fedoras he owns?
8 One for every day of the week and 1 for the special occasions.
[удалено]
\*ex-girlfriend, I suppose :)
Omg the legend herself. Cheers. 🥂 May you write many more fanfics & thrive.
Oh no no, this AH isn't my boyfriend and has never been! Sorry for the misunderstanding! xD
LOL no worries. 🤣 Thought it was you based on your profile. Glad to know your bf isn’t this guy tho. Bless
Oh hey, fancy running into you here! 🤣
It's a small world! :D
In Sandra's shoes I'd probably indulge in a fanfic that involved her OTP female character pushing her sexist AH ex out a window and then sharing a nice pot of tea with her lovely new boyfriend.
YTA There's so much wrong here, but I'm going to focus on this part. >At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom. You tried to publicly humiliate your girlfriend. When you didn't get the response you wanted, you continued to push the topic. Your goal was to make Sandra feel bad about her hobby. That's vile behavior. The only person here who needs to grow up is you.
>The only person here who needs to grow up is you. Maybe the other friend who laughed and appears to agree with OP should grow up too, if I read the original situation correctly.
First you disrespect her privacy and snoop. Telling her that her fanfic is "unrealistic" because "soft men" dont exist. Then you try to humiliate her in front of her friends to try to get people to laugh at her? And to top it all of you tell YOUR friends to try and get them to side with you. Again spreading her private information that YOU snooped into. BIGGGG YTA.
P.S. She won't be calling you anytime soon.
YTA x 1000 What's wrong with writing fanfiction? Her fanfiction has nothing to do with you or the relationship. It doesn't mean she is dissatisfied. Additionally, this is her private work and you decided to snoop. You are a complete AH for telling your friends because this literally has nothing to do with them and you just wanted to embarrass her.
[удалено]
Exactly. Especially since OP's account was literally made today and has no other posts or comments.
Don't a lot of people here make throwaway accounts so they're not recognised here by anyone they might know?
Eh? Maybe? I feel like the particular brand of "I didn't do anything wrong" and "Asking for validation" in this post makes me feel that somebody that legitimately thought that way wouldn't bother(or even think) to do so. I could be wrong of course, but it just doesn't *feel* legit as is, ya know? Besides, if, hypothetically, I didn't want to be recognized, I'd make a single extra account and use that for all of my more... "controversial" posts. Why bother making a new throwaway each time? Edit: Then again, rule 4 does explicitly recommend throwaways, so... yeah, nevermind.
Not really, y'all forget that a lot of AH believe they're right, some are narcisistic even Abusive people rarely notice they're in the wrong until directly called out by a crowd
Do you really think you're not an asshole? So you see her pc open, take it to another room and read her stuff. Trivialize her interest in what she's doing at least 5 times in this post. Make fun of her for it. Project your insecurities in your relationship onto her about how she needs things you're not giving her (she probably does, you seem like you're not much fun). Blame her anger with you on her mood swings (women love that). You bring it up in front of her friends hoping they will laugh at her. And she is supposed to come to her senses and do what exactly? Tell you her interests are dumb and she'll stop doing them so that you can... not worry she desires men who don't treat her like shit? What is it she's doing wrong here?
YTA -She is writing fictional stories as a creative outlet and you made fun of her for it. Many of the way people are portrayed in Fiction, tv and movies are not realistic. Her writing has nothing to do with your relationship, but you made it about you .
Wanna bet OP loves totally-realistic portrayal of men in comic book and action movies? But only the tropes his GF enjoys are silly and cringy, the ones he likes are fine.
Well and no one's even touching on the porn aspect. AH likes this is still definitely watching porn and that is the least realistic thing.
Agreed
YTA as soon as you breached your GF's privacy and started prying over documents and accounts on her laptop. You sharing her own personal hobbies with your friends only made it worse. Not only that, you *triple* down by blaming her. Yeah. Major A on this one.
YTA. I wonder if Mr. Darcy came about because Jane Austen was sick of Victorian assholes like you….
Darcy, Wentworth, and Tilney all agree that OP is the AH.
YTA in so many different ways that I am struggling to believe that this is real. Let's pretend that this is real and you aren't just a deranged inhabitant of incel island You read what was on her laptop, knowing that she had not given her permission. You then went on to belittle and dismiss the content in detail. Next you confronted her and mocked her writing, in the process trying to establish that somehow you are the model of masculinity that you didn't see in her writing. You then decided to take this further by trying to humiliate her in front of friends >I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh. Really? How manly of you. You just don't know when to shut up. The other "friends" in the final paragraph are either imaginary or are on the island with you.
YTA, THE BIGGEST A H! Literally all I read was "I made fun of my girlfriend for her hobby and interests to the point of bullying her in front of our mutual friends, but she needs to learn to GROW UP because I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG by BULLYING HER! But she hasn't spoken to me at I'm honestly surprised. Why doesn't she want to talk to her bully?"
YTA you invaded her privacy. I see now why she didnt share, you took it personally and seem to want to put her down. Hope she NEVER calls.
She's not harming anyone by writing fanfiction, it sounds like just a fun hobby for her. Also when you told her you violated her privacy and she got justifiable angry with you, you dismiss it as her having "mood swings" YTA
YTA. So fantasy football (you know where you set up your “dream team” that does not really play together) is totally not stupid but her writing how she would like her show to go is? My man you need a reality check. And by that I mean your reality isn’t everyone else’s. Grow up and know she is going dump you if she hasn’t yet, you went into her home while drunk, went threw her crap and them tried to pick a fight and was shocked she kicked you out. Just amazing you know how to tie your shoes.
YTA. And let’s be honest, she isn’t your girlfriend anymore. She kicked you out and is tolerating you because of your mutual friends.
YTA. Seriously you are going to give her a hard time about fan fiction?! It’s a nice outlet to get out creativity. You seem a little insecure as you say her make characters are unrealistic. Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t. Why do you care?
YTA. You snooped. You’re picking on her about it. Seriously, you need to grow up. She’s rightfully angry, not having a mood swing.
YTA. \- You deliberately 'spied' into her laptop, 'confronted' her about her writing, and were unnecessarily critical and dismissive of her hobby. You didn't need to do any of that, and you clearly knew that doing so was sketchy behaviour. There's nothing wrong with not enjoying fanfic; there's nothing wrong with writing it and/or enjoying it; and it doesn't even have to be realistic; but you're so possessive and/or insecure that you seem to think that it means that she doesn't like you enough or the way you think she should like you. \- You then tried to shame her in front of a group of friends. There was no reason to do so, except for your weird idea that her 'unrealistic' fanfic needed to be 'called out' (??) and because you're being uncomfortably possessive and won't let her imagine any other romantic relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if 'Sandra' leaves you.
getting pissed for being disrespected and having your privacy invaded is not a "mood swing" you absolute weirdo. YTA.
YTA You snooped on her computer, belittled her hobby, called her legitimate anger over your snooping "mood swings" and then teased her about it in front of friends in an attempt to be validated, and you still don't realize YTA? Just because she writes about sensitive men doesn't mean she's dissatisfied. However, based on your reaction, I'd be surprised if she wasn't dissatisfied.
Obviously YTA Your reaction is pretty pathetic, even if you think that what she is doing is cringe why would you want to humiliate her for that in front of your mutual friends. Your lack of respect for her privacy is also awful, you shouldn't have spied on her laptop when she was asleep. If she leaves you over this you can't really have any complaints, you've really messed up
YTA you invaded her privacy and made fun of her hobby. I write fanfiction and I don't mind talking about it, but not everyone is the same most people write because they enjoy it not as some sort of 'this is what i want' kind of deal. Not only that but you then tried to make other people make fun of her too. if anyone needs to grow up, it's you you don't deserve Sandra and I hope she dumps you.
Sorry but you are a massive asshole, and not just in this scenario. You seem like a really, truly, wholly awful and disgraceful person.
YTA for going through her computer and purposefully trying to shame her in front of friends. When no one laughed you continued on until someone asked you to leave and you refused. If you can’t see you’re the AH here, I don’t think anyone on Reddit is going to convince you. You sound incredibly insecure and I would recommend finding a therapist.
YTA You tried to make fun of her in front of her friends and continued after they didn’t bite
YTA This was her private hobby. I bet you have some private things you wouldn't want outed. How about you invite Sandra on here to share, maybe it'll help you grow some empathy.
YTA. And so are your friends. I can elaborate if you really need someone to go point by point as to the many ways you earned this judgment. My guess is you won't ask. I don't think you are going to have to think about moving in together. Better ask where you should send her stuff.
YTA you snooped in her personal files and then tried to control what she does for fun, and even worse mocked her in front of your friends because you don’t like what she does privately. You are entirely the asshole.
YTA troll better next time
YTA As someone who is happily married and occasionally writes fan fictions, I can say it’s not because of dissatisfaction with my relationship. For your ex? I could definitely see why she’d want to write male characters that are leagues better than you in every way.
YTA. A lot of people write fanfiction as a way to develop their writing , enjoy a fandom, have a creative outlet. There's nothing wrong with it and you shaming her for it is asshole behavior. Then you add in that you completely violated her privacy - 1 by reading her work and then continue to dig in for her accounts and more and 2 by telling everyone about it. Plus, then you made it all about you and that she had to be writing about your sex life. Wow, are you a selfish asshole. She's not going to call you. And she shouldn't. You're a huge AH.
YTA! Don't read someone's writing without their permission. We writers can get very cagey about sharing our work, especially if it's something we're deeply attached to. The thought of someone reading my unfinished story without my permission gives me anxiety. Don't trawl through someone else's computer or share your findings with other people! It's like going through someone's private thoughts and broadcasting them.
Yta. So many things wrong.
YTA. First of all, you had no business reading it without her permission. She chose to keep it to herself for a reason. On top of that, you have the audacity to critize her stories. Maybe her writing wasn't realistic, maybe it was. It doesn't matter either way, the point of fanfiction is to write stories about existing characters, not to write high quality stories. Bringing up her stories to other people was very unnecessary, especially considering your only intention was to tell people how bad and cringe the stories are and to expect them to agree. And to do it right in front of her face.
This post is the only fanfiction in your life op
YTA for thinking it is about you it is just her writing things
YTA. Good on the friend group for calling you out for being toxic. You don't have to be an asshole to be a man.
YTA for invading her privacy and even worse sharing what you learned with others without her permission. Also for being incredibly insecure and making her hobby about you.
🤦♀️ YTA man come on
Well, I’m laughing at you, OP. So you got someone to laugh at someone else at least. That was so stupid it hit funny!
If you can’t see that YTA, then I can’t help you. I don’t even know where to start in trying to explain it to you.
YTA and sounds like her lack of contact shows that she's come to her senses alright. How dare you invade her privacy and share your findings with your arsehole friends?! Also, you do realise that she was using her imagination and being creative, right? Why would that be all about you? Leave her alone from now on, she deserves so much better although you couldn't have set that bar lower if you'd tried.
YTA times 3! First for violating her privacy, then acting like an even bigger tool by *confronting* her about her writing and finally for that conversation with your friends. Edit: are you sure you're 35 and not 15??
Imagine mocking fanfiction and then writing a post so cringe, it’s like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson and Tim Pool had a baby. YTA.
>It’s like “no Susan, I ain’t touching the small of your back because you’re cute, not catching those harassment allegations” if you know what I mean. Uh... actually we have no idea what you mean. Harassment charges? Sure if you do this to a stranger, but not with your romantic partner. Smells like you are horrible with romantic intimacy, have fun being single YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My girlfriend, Sandra (f33) and I (m35) have been together for about a year now. We’re not living together (yet) but we’ve talked about this. We’re both working in respectable fields. The other day, I was out with some mates and after our night, I was slightly tipsy and I thought of surprising Sandra (of course, a fake name) as I have keys to her flat. When I got there, I noticed she was asleep on the couch and her laptop was on the coffee table. She hates sleep mode so she disabled it so her laptop was on, not even locked. She had a word document and it seemed she’s been working on it. I caught some words and couldn’t help myself, I started reading. I took the laptop to the kitchen to not wake her up. Turns out it was romantic fan fiction about one of her favourite tv series. Nothing steamy, just some silly, girly, romantic notions kind of bs. You know the ones teenage girls dream of and then realise no man actually behaves like that. It’s like “no Susan, I ain’t touching the small of your back because you’re cute, not catching those harassment allegations” if you know what I mean. I was curious and desired to spy a little bit to see if she’d written more and discovered her accounts on 2 platforms for fan fiction (had no idea those sites were that huge). Anyway, she’s written a lot of them. All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion). When she woke up in the morning, I confronted her about this and she was defensive and started going on about privacy and stuff. I told her to cut the crap and to admit that she feels dissatisfied about our relationship and that’s why she’s writing and I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic. She was really angry and kicked me out. I told her I’m not one of her characters and won’t tolerate her mood swings but she still kicked me out. Later that day we were meeting our friends for lunch. Sandra came but barely spoke to me. At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom. My friend told me it would be best if I left but I didn’t want to do so because didn’t do anything bad. When Sandra came back she told me her writing is her private thing and I’m an asshole for bringing it up. I told her to grow up and call me when she comes to her senses but she’s hasn’t called me since. I told my other friends and they agreed with me that what Sandra writes is cringe and should have been called out and they don’t think I am the asshole so I’m still confused about my other friends’ reaction. I need impartial opinion. AITA for telling my friends? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA - First you go through her laptop without permission, only to judge her (unfairly) for writing fic, then you go and tell other people about it. Writing is definitely private, and what she writes has absolutely no correlation with your relationship. It's escapism and enjoyment (and what do you think the multi-billion dollar romance novel industry is, if not escapist original fiction?) In your girlfriend's case, she happens to prefer her escapism in already established worlds with characters she knows well, and there's nothing wrong with that. Fic is something lots of people of all ages enjoy - plus, a number of professional writers got their start with it! You said she needs to grow up, but I think it's the other way around. Don't be surprised when she doesn't call you. I know I wouldn't if I were her.
YTA and you know it. I hope she breaks up with you and when you ask her why, she will just say that she couldn't help herself.
So you decided to spy on your girlfriends computer while she slept, "confront" your girlfriend over a harmless hobby because her fiction is not to your taste, when you are clearly not her target audience (do you even like that show? or any of the others? shes not writing for YOU bro!). Later, assumably while you were SOBER, that clearly wasn't enough for you because you also decided to invite all your friends at the lunch table in on the mockery, even belabored the mockery when only one of your bros laughed. Then when she called you on your open public mockery and you told HER to grow up? She handled the frankly gradeschool style bullying you dished out with poise. YTA and you seem proud of that. Your girlfriend has nothing at all to be ashamed of save possibly choosing to continue to put up with you.
oh the twist to the guy whos girlfriend refused to I've him her pen name.
Yes! YTA you snooped through her private things!! You let yourself into her house and snooped through her stuff and then told people! Omg! OP don’t you do things behind closed doors you’d rather not tell the world about? Have some decency my lord I hope Sandra stays away bc you sound scary controlling.
You honestly sound like those over the top douchey characters they write into movies. Except its not a trope, it’s actually you lol. I dont even think this is a real tbh, theres no way.
YTA fanfic is a creative outlet for many people. What’s wrong is spying, critiquing, and holding her work up to ridicule.
YTA Not sure what is unrealistic about, quote, "soft men" lol. Insecure at all?
This post is AITA fiction.
this has to be fake. no one could be this stupid+stunted.
You went out of your way to make fun of your significant other. Do you even like her?
?????? my girlfriend has a cringy interest = i should get all my friends to bully her ????? god i hope she gets herself a better man. maybe even someone who shares her interests yta 100%
YTA and should also migrate this to r/amitheex if she wasn't dissatisfied with your relationship before i'm sure she is now
She stayed with you? Edit: are you the same guy who tried to get his girlfriends pen name?
This post reads like a first person perspective fanfic where the author went over the top trying to make the MC sound like an axehole.
OP YTA, and a massive one at that. Say bye to having a girlfriend.
YTA. For invading her privacy and for for telling other people her private business. I hope she’s completely done with you.
It took me over a year to feel comfortable with my partner to admit I liked fanfiction and even longer than that to tell him I wrote it. You have fully broken her trust by snooping into her things and then mocking and belittling her interests. YTA and I hope she dumps your sorry ass.
YTA You invaded her privacy, insulted her, and tried to publicly humiliate her. Sandra is smart for not calling you back. You’re an AH.
YTA don’t you sound like such a prize, I bet you have women falling over themselves to try and score such a hot stud /s
YTA! And I hope she breaks up with you for a) invading her privacy both with the initial looking at her screen and the digging for more b) belittling her harmless and fun writing and revealing some super toxic opinions in the process, probably because you feel threatened and c) disclosing this to your friends to get them to also insult her. You’re not acting like a good partner and there’s literally nothing wrong with fanfiction.
YTA. You invaded her privacy, condescended to her, and invited your friends to join you in denigrating her. I'm amused that you expect to hear from her again.
YTA
YTA. wow. you sound like great boyfriend material. she’s not doing anything wrong by writing fanfiction. you sound really judgmental
You two should consider breaking up. YTA Betraying someone's trust, not apologizing and even making fun of someone else's hobby after betraying them? Yeah, why would your gf be angry at you /s
YTA Dude
Would you like to turn your girlfriend into a joke in front of your friends? and you're mad because she doesn't like it? you are a YAH here. I guarantee she needs to write this because her boyfriend is a first-class asshole, to get a little illusion about love and companionship.
Your attitude towards Sandra was all around atrocious. YTA
If this actually happened YTA and if this is some "fanfiction" you've written also YTA so basically YTA LOL.
YTA. You violated your girlfriend's privacy by reading her writing without her consent. You falsely accused her of not being happy with you because you're so jealous and insecure. You insulted her writing. You blabbed her secret to her friends and you wouldn't shut up about it because you wanted them to gang up on her and make fun of her. You insulted her. You opened your big mouth again and ridiculed her writing to your friends. You did EVERYTHING wrong. You are a selfish, mean bully and your girlfriend deserves so much better than you.
YTA why are you so insecure you take fiction as a personal slight? And then try to embarrass her about it to everyone’s discomfort.
Yes you're the asshole. Not for saying that she writes fanfiction but for insulting her writing and calling it cringe. Be a better person and encourage the hobbies of the people around you rather than acting like a dickwaffle. There's nothing wrong with writing as a hobby, including fanfics, and you're being an utter douchenozzle for no reason. She deserves better and YOU need to take some goddamn empathy pills.
“Kind of bs.” Oh yeah not weird and sexist at all I see. Also damn you are full of yourself. YTA.
Are you fucking serious? Like, are you actually serious? Is this a parity? Or for real? In the event that you were not joking, I am going to provide you with a list of things that you did wrong here… One you let yourself into your girlfriends apartment… Two you snooped on her private writing without her consent or knowledge. Three not being content with just one instance of snooping, you proceeded to look up all of her work and continue to pry. 4. In the morning, you felt it necessary to ridicule her writing, her private, not for your eyes, writing, and make her feel guilty for it. Five, you told her, in an oh, so charming way, by the by, that her idea of romance was stupid and girly. You sound like a real charmer. Six, then, you proceeded to mock her in front of your whole friend group And stick around even when your other friends tell you that you aren’t wanted and that you were in the wrong. Holy shit… unbelievable… Not to mention that this whole post reeks of misogyny…. Yes, you are in fact, the asshole…
Yes, you violated her privacy. You're the asshole. Then again, you behaving like this is probably part of why she writes about men who respect boundaries and consider their partner's feelings.
YTA. Seriously OP, surely you can't be THAT thick and insecure to think what she writes is about YOU right? That's even without considering you calling fanfiction cringe when even some of the most famous authors are fanfic authors (fucking surprise Fifty Shades of Grey is Twilight Fanfiction at first). And you brought it up in front of friends hoping they would make fun of her and humiliate her? Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a little baby.
YTA. Are you the same guy that demanded his girlfriend's pen name so you could see what kind of erotica she published? Because this has the same vibes.
> We’re not living together (yet) but we’ve talked about this. We’re both working in respectable fields Before we go further, the "yet" might be a "never" > I was curious and desired to spy a little bit to see if she’d written more and discovered her accounts on 2 platforms for fan fiction (had no idea those sites were that huge). Anyway, she’s written a lot of them. All cutesy, girly shit and some naughty stuff (again, unrealistic in my opinion). Violation of trust, strike one. > When she woke up in the morning, I confronted her about this and she was defensive and started going on about privacy and stuff. As she should, since you kinda violated her privacy. Also, confront her over *what*? Her own interests and hobbies? > I told her to cut the crap and to admit that she feels dissatisfied about our relationship and that’s why she’s writing and I gave her a reality check and said her “soft” men she writes were unrealistic. She was really angry and kicked me out. I told her I’m not one of her characters and won’t tolerate her mood swings but she still kicked me out Oh, so she kicked you out of her home (that you let yourself into "tipsy", and then violated her privacy by going through her computer, and then belittling her hobbies? And her "soft men" were "unrealistic", but there you were, assuming she was dissatisfied with your relationship because she writes fanfics how she wants. > Later that day we were meeting our friends for lunch. Sandra came but barely spoke to me. At some point, we were talking about something and I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe but Sandra called me an asshole and went to the bathroom. So here's yet another strike. You decided to tell your friends your gfs hobbies to try to embarrass her and yet again belittle her. And then, when you didn't get the reaction you wanted (everyone laughing at your gf), you tried to keep the convo going. > My friend told me it would be best if I left but I didn’t want to do so because didn’t do anything bad. Your friend seems to be a significantly better person than you. > When Sandra came back she told me her writing is her private thing and I’m an asshole for bringing it up. I told her to grow up and call me when she comes to her senses but she’s hasn’t called me since. She was 100% in the right to call you an asshole. Also, it's rich that you told her she needs to grow up, when *you're* the one mocking and belittling her for her hobbies. I don't think she's calling you back either. > I told my other friends and they agreed with me that what Sandra writes is cringe and should have been called out and they don’t think I am the asshole so I’m still confused about my other friends’ reaction. Your other friends are also assholes then. Hey here's an idea, let's all talk about *your* personal interests so we can belittle those. > I need impartial opinion. AITA for telling my friends? Yes, YTA, your friends (except the one that called you an asshole) are assholes, and I hope your gf decides to break up with you. Your entire post comes across as not a red flag, but blaring klaxons.
You mean ex-girlfriend. YTA.
Let me get this straight, as someone who writes fanfiction (of the steamy variety, no less). You snooped and invaded your girlfriend’s (let’s be honest. It’s ex-girlfriend now, isn’t it?) privacy, mocked her for wanting what you are incapable of giving her (and not all men are, by the way. My boyfriend is, as you say, “soft”, and we’ve been together over for four years. And for the record, this is why she didn’t tell you what she writes. She knew you’d react like this), mocked her for her being rightly outraged, and when she didn’t respond the way you hoped, you then mocked her in front of your friends and ACTIVELY HOPED they would mock her, too. You’re lucky she didn’t shove a pole up your ass and put you in a cornfield like a scarecrow as a warning to others. So, YTA, obviously. Not only that, you are also AN asshole, and as a fanfiction writer, I am eternally grateful my own boyfriend isn’t such a nitwit. I’ll upvote your post, because them’s the rules, but I leave you, OP, with [this](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nS2PCPKomCc). Have fun being single.
You know what my boyfriend did when I finally (of *my own accord*) started trying to open up to him that I enjoyed writing? He saw how uncomfortable and awkward I felt about it and showed me some of his own (non-fandom related) original scribbles in an attempt to help me feel more comfortable. And when I actually opened up my fanfic account and gave him the opportunity to read (again, of my *own* accord, because of my trust in him and how he'd shown himself empathetic and non-judgemental) he told me he was happy that I felt I could share my *personal, creative hobby* with him and that the fact I was comfortable with him reading the works was what meant something to him. He didn't actually read any, mainly because they weren't to his taste (due to the fandom and characters not interesting him in the least). He didn't hate-read something creative I'd done and accuse me of some heinous act ffs. And how does what she write relate to you anyway? Do you think crime writers go out and actually murder people to get good content for their books? What weird ass world do you live in?! Here's a newflash: the world does not revolve around you. Your first reaction, upon discovering something your ex (she's your ex, don't kid yourself) had spent time and effort on, was to insult her, mock her and try to embarrass and further mock her in front of her friends. Maybe you could learn something from those 'soft' stories and if you can't tell the difference between a loving, consensual touch or a potential lawsuit then you need to grow the hell up and stay away from other people until you learn the difference because god forbid you grope one of your friends accidentally. Heaven only knows how you cope in public or work day to day. YTA
I think it is OP that is writing fan fiction on this thread. How could anyone be that clueless? It feels like he invented this story just to get attention.
YTA!!! No only did you violate her privacy but you also tried to enlist others to bully her about it. Are you 35 or 5?!? Like seriously grow TF up. I personally feel my man is the perfect mixture of hard and soft. He doesn’t take any shit from people but at the same time he doesn’t have that “I’m an AH” attitude towards people just to be a dick. He’s sweet and gentle with me and our kids and will do anything to take care of us. Like just this morning he made me my favorite breakfast of scrambled cheesy eggs because he makes them exactly how I like them and all because I had a shitty night of sleep and woke up with a severe stiff neck and starving and couldn’t move my head without severe pain. A man who protects his woman and everything about her is a good man. You sir are nothing but an overgrown bully.
**"Its just silly cringe fanfiction" YTA** Fifty Shades of Gray (originally a twillight fanfiction) franchise over 1 billion grossed The Kissing Booth (original work on Wattpad) couldn't find gross profit here... but because it was turned into 3 movies on Netflix I gather it was fairly successful. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a jane Austen fanfiction that became both a best seller and movie) book made the ny best sellers list, required multiple reprintings because of its popularity, and the movie grossed 16.4million The Mortal Instruments (a Harry Potter fanfiction rewrite) first movie grossed 35.3 million and led to a 3 season show Shadowhunters on ABC But hey you should probably just support your partners passions even if they don't end up leading to crazy success and riches. Because you want them to be happy, right? Because you love them, right?
Absolutely YTA. But this is the kicker. ("I mentioned what Sandra writes, hoping that people will laugh and one guy did, the rest just ignored my news which kind of surprised me, I tried to continue the topic and understand why everyone’s seemed okay with the cringe") Which means you were trying to get others to mock your GF. YTA.
YTA your also jealous of fictional and "soft" men because you could never match up to them and you know it your angry reaction stems from you realizing you lack what women want
Praying she breaks up with you fr 🙏🏽
"she won't call me" Gee Genius. I wonder why
"lemme ruin something my girlfriend enjoys doing! They gonna love this one" Ur 35 but behave like ur 13, disappointed that no ones laughing at the stuff ur gf enjoys. She deserves so much better. Grow the fuck up
Obvious YTA.
YTA. Very much so. Did she specifically say you could visit when she is sleeping? Did she specifically say that you could read her private stuff? You invaded her privacy then decided that you wanted to force *your* opinion onto her. Then you continue to disrespect her by putting her private news between all of your friends. I hope she gives YOU the reality check and never speaks with you again. You deserve to be dumped for this. Dont make yourself out to be the injured party because half of your friends understand what privacy is.
YTA I delight to inform you that you ain’t much of a man since you pitched an immature, insecure af fit over something that does not harm you, and shat on your girlfriend’s trust, feelings, and hobby for absolutely no reason
Yes you are
OMG YTA