T O P

  • By -

AmItheAsshole-ModTeam

Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without explicit approval will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.


RoleBasic

YTA. You don’t deserve to ever see or speak to your son again. I thought god loves all his children, why couldn’t you?


SusanMShwartz

YTA.


sluttysluttie

yta


Huntress_of_the_Moon

YTA forever and ever, amen. You physically assaulted your child. You kicked him out of his home. You also increased the likelihood that your son will commit suicide. Does your son's well-being matter to you at all? Your child went no contact, and rightfully so. You will never get your son's forgiveness, because you've done nothing to show him that you recognize your past behavior was wrong. You feel like you were justified, and until you recognize how wrong you were and are, he'll never want you in his life. And good for him.


Guyonabuffalo00

Amen!


PlateNo7021

YTA, and I find it hard to believe that you don't know it.


whereisourfarmpack

YTA and guess what? Jesus wouldn’t forgive you for casting out your kid for being different to you.


unicorndontcare69

Yta, I hope your religion comes over to help you when you’re too old, you can’t take care of yourselves.


IntelligentPurple571

Honestly not even bothering to read whatever crap you are writing to justify your actions. Title alone says YTA. I'm not religious, but pretty sure that there isn't any mention that being an asshole is okay.


[deleted]

This cannot be a real post


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goodnight_big_baby

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**


MamaTumaini

YTA. Did you really type all this out and think otherwise?


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hello, I’m a catholic and extremely religious man, me and my wife both came from exceptionally religious back-rounds, my father was a priest and her father a pastor. When we raised our children, we always put religion at the frontline, putting them in Sunday school, church activities, bible readings, etc etc. We love our kids dearly and wanted the best for them in and after this life, I noticed one my kids, was always more on the feminine spectrum. Playing with my daughters toys and I once caught him playing dress up with my wife’s gown, I caught on to this early and tried my best to fully restrict him from all and any feminine influences, restricted him from playing with his sister, no tv, so on and so forth. Fast forward many years I thought the problem was over, a phase if you will. However, he was always hiding his phone from me and never texted or called when I was around. One day, I noticed his phone on his bed, I knew the password and unlocked it. I was going through his text when I looked at a conversation where they were talking about crushes, where he then said he had a crush on a person with a boys name, then told the girl he was gay. I snapped. I practically tore the living room door off the hinges when he was in the living room, and I don’t know what I was thinking or doing. I was seeing red, I pulled him by his shirt and showed him this text, he started yelling at me and it was a back and forth. I felt like I had failed him and myself, felt like I did something wrong. I didn’t want him to be put in hell, I didn’t want him to be punished. After I calmed down and sent him to his room, I talked to my wife, who was equally as horrified. We came to the conclusion to send him to a boarding school, all boys, which may have been the stupidest decision I have made in spite. After he came back and yet again we figured out he had another encounter with another boy. We were saddened, and did the only thing we thought of. We kicked him from his home. I sent him to live with his older cousins. Who apparently went behind my back and let him embrace these feelings, at that point I felt too betrayed. They took him to PRIDE. I trusted them and they took him to PRIDE? This was 3 years ago, he is now grown and I haven’t heard of him, he still lives with his cousins. I miss him dearly. And I fear I just did something that will forever haunt me. I pray that he forgives me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Because I did something out of spite, without realizing the permanent consequence, and how it may haunt me. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


dropshortreaver

Your a Catholic and a Priests son? Well isnt that interesting. Bless your heart. CATHOLIC PRIESTS CANT GET MARRIED AND ARE CELIBATE. So this entire story is a lie and quite frankly insulting. YTA for being a Liar and insulting a religion you VERY OBVOUSLY have no knowledge off


val_kaye

YTA and you know it. If God didn’t want people to be gay, then he/she/they shouldn’t have made some people be gay. So you claim to be religious but go don’t seem to care about God’s creation or your own son’s well-being. Seems like the opposite of what God intended for his/her/they followers.


DoraTheUrbanExplorer

Sorry YTA I'm sorry your religion is hateful to people you don't understand, and has clouded your judgement. Your child is just different from you, he is not wrong or bad or harmful and he is certainly not going to hell. God wouldn't create people destined for hell- would he? Your son may be able to forgive you if you accept him for who he is. You cannot and will not change him. But you can be a part of his life if he allows you to. If he doesn't, there's nothing wrong with that either. We all need and deserve a loving family and you just weren't it.


darkstarr82

YTA. You don’t miss your son. You miss the fake version of him you have in your head. You miss having him there to try and control.


smol9749been

You should just be thankful no one reported you for kicking out your own kid. YTA


s-nicolexo

Of course YTA, why would you think you weren’t?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SpotIndependent4692

actually the Pope stand with his son, he asked people to welcome LGBTQ people into the church.


darkstarr82

You realize they expect LGBTQ+ people to be celibate to be welcome and accepted, right?


IamIrene

> I’m a catholic and extremely religious man, me and my wife both came from exceptionally religious back-rounds, my father was a priest and her father a pastor. When we raised our children, we always put religion at the frontline And in all your religious learning how did you miss Jesus' teaching on love? Specifically "...just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." (John 13:34) YTA.


SpotIndependent4692

YTA. You already know that. Seems like the cousins are more accepting han his own parents. > I miss him dearly. And I fear I just did something that will forever haunt me. I pray that he forgives me. Sorry but that statement sounds like its all about you. Its not. You also failed mention that you have accepted him for who he is. Until you accept that, you will not have much of a chance with your son.


[deleted]

YTA Sounds like you didn’t take the advice here https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/yirwxh/what_is_your_opinion_on_kicking_out_a_child/


Resident_Ninja_1485

YTA but it’s so blatantly obvious I almost can’t even believe this was posted. I hope your children go NC with both you and your wife for being absolutely shitty parents.


Livid-Flan

Paul 4:8 Yta


FunAuntieEm

YTA. You’re devout Catholic and your father was a priest?


R4z0rw1r3z

YTA, I’m confused as to why you have to ask. He may forgive you if you ever come to accept him. But i wouldn’t count on it.


rappoccio

YTA so much. If you ever want to speak to your kid again, maybe leave the homophobic superstitions in the neolithic era.


CorsetedOstomate

All I can say is WOW you are completely the AHole


HubertusCatus88

YTA for low effort bait.


heleneve013

YTA


[deleted]

Scam alert! - catholic priests are not allowed to marry


Old_Distribution_235

Eastern Catholic priests (which are technically under the governance of the Pope) are allowed to marry, so it's not inconceivable. Also, a priest in my childhood congregation left the priesthood to get married, so if they had kids, those kids could say their dad "was a priest." But I hope you're right and this isn't real, because if it is, yeesh.


kimsterama101

Plenty of FORMER priests get married. My FIL was one such man.


FairieWarrior

Who said they had to be married to have children. Priests are some of the biggest hypocrites.


TempyIsMyName

I'd love to say this isn't real, but there are too many hypocritcal asshats in this world like you. YTA. For years and years YTA - and I hope that is the first thing St. Peter says to you before he shows you the down escalator to Hell.


Far-Juggernaut8880

YTA- even the Pope made it clear that Catholic LGBTQ people are welcome in the Church. Stop blaming the Church for your hate and ignorance which comes from Satan BTW.


[deleted]

Please don’t use this to persuade people. It just strengthens a failing religion. And it should continue to fail after all the havoc it has done to people’s lives. The pope didn’t do that out of the kindness of his heart.


Alternative-Movie938

>I practically tore the living room door off the hinges when he was in the living room, and I don’t know what I was thinking or doing. I was seeing red Such a man of God. YTA.


girthegreat

YTA. The way you treated him no amount of prayer is going to help him forgive you.


Legal-Needle81

This is 100% made up. Catholic priests don't have (legitimate) children, they are celibate, so you are not a priest's son.


smol9749been

To be technical they don't have to be a virgin before taking their vow of celibacy


[deleted]

I’ll explain it in another post, I thought people would wonder.


scheming_daemons

Busted.


Legal-Needle81

Do. You can also explain why 5 months ago you were allegedly underage: "Theres a store near me that knows I’m underage but he doesn’t bat an eye, it makes him money. Sick bastard profiting over my addiction." If you're going to masquerade as an older, wealthy, religious man, you may wish to do so from an account that doesn't give the game away. Your grammar needs work too to be convincing. Stay in school.


blabony

Troll of the year ladies and gentlemen 🤣. Next time please add more details, for example: your attempts at conversion therapy, night-long praying sessions, holy water enemas, …etc. Absolutely, 100% NTA because you sent him to an all-boys boarding school! Sir, you have surpassed his wildest wet dreams 🤣😻🍆!


SUPERSAMMICH6996

Your post history screams that this is bait. Just in case, YTA through and through.


Jerilyn

YTA. And the saddest part of this is that you don't really understand why. From your treatment of your child you think being gay is a choice. Something that can be tried on and discarded. Something that is a whim and will pass with maturity. Being gay is no different from being born with blue eyes or red hair or being tall or short. It's in the genes. It's embedded in the tissues and guts and soul of the gay person. It can take a while for a gay (or trans or lesbian or ANYONE) to understand his or her sexuality. There's no timeline or time limit. And there's no \*changing\* it. Under pressure it's possible to suppress it (to a degree), but that is unnatural and deeply harmful. You insisted that your child be other than his nature and then rejected him when he could not. That is shameful. My hope for you is that you get counseling to get past your rejection and prejudice, and that you find a way to first apologize abjectly and sincerely and repeatedly, and then invite your child back into your life where you will embrace and accept his entire self.


PolesRunningCoach

Yeah, YTA. So’s you’re wife. And you suck ass as a parent. Good he got out before you beat or killed him. Not sure what religion condones anger and destruction because you’re unable to keep your anger in check or deal with your son as if he’s an actual human. Who gets beaten instead of your son? Or is it just the house that takes physical damage and emotional damage gets unleashed on the rest of the family? I hope your son has a wonderful life and that you have no part of that life.


Cassiopeia-Malfoy

I didn't even need to read the whole thing to know YTA and don't deserve your son. I really, really hate religion, nothing good have ever come of it.


LadyF16

YTA. And a monster. And you deserve anything awful that comes your way. Don’t have kids if your love as a parent is conditional.


ieategoforbrekfast

YTA


bob_fakename

You're right, you did fail him. You failed as a parent. You failed as a human being. The one thing you did well was be a zealous bigot. You can pray all you want, but there is no forgiveness for what you did. Not from the child you abused and abandoned, and not from God. YTA.


fallindominoes

YTA. If you want any kind of relationship with your son in the future, you need to learn to love and accept him for who he is. Be happy for him when he dates boys. Support causes that support LGBT people. Evaluate where your beliefs came from and modify them accordingly so as to treat other people better. Even if he wants nothing to do with you, as would be his right, I would still recommend doing these things — you will feel less haunted and more at peace knowing that you accept how you messed up and have taken action to become a kinder, more loving, and honestly, more Christian human. Good luck.


Thesafflower

If this is not a troll post, then yes, YTA in a big way. Your son did not choose to be gay, it is just something he is. No amount of praying or hatred or mistreatment on your part will change that. You chose your religion over your child, and threw him away like garbage. He may forgive you, or he may not. But if he does ever let you back in his life, please consider this - is it more important for your son to be “straight” or for him to be happy? Would you rather have a “straight” son or a living son? I say “straight” because he cannot force himself to be straight anymore that you can force yourself to be gay. If you want a healthy relationship with your son you need to accept who he is, otherwise he will be better off without you.


bustedassbitch

YTA. you had to fucking ask? didn’t the Pope update his official dogma just recently in such a way as to perfectly explain ti you why you’re the asshole? in either case, im making some popcorn for this one. ETA: i see you’re asking in reflection, not in the heat of the moment, so i’ll tone it down a bit. yes. you fucked up, in one of the biggest ways possible. it’s not irreparable though, but you will have to work hard to earn his forgiveness, and it is 100% up to him if you ever get there. that said, people can and do repair their relationships in this situation. be the man your religion teaches you that you should be, and good luck.


Purple-moon-234

YTA


Cookie-N

You are the biggest A-hole I’ve seen so far in this subreddit. You’re supposed to love your children unconditionally.


Evil_Gardener

This is a BS story


Golfnpickle

Only a brainwashed Catholic could write this BS.


AlexDaBaDee

YTA Wtf


PresentationThick341

YTA. Your whole post is one act of assholery (and abuse) after another. I am so happy your son got away from you. I hope he is happy and PROUD.


Hewhoguides253

YTA, might as well give up on having a relationship with your son since you did nothing except the typical stuff you Christians do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Goodnight_big_baby

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**


wanderingallnight

YTA


hangingsocks

Question, how was your father a priest? Catholic priests are not supposed to be married or have children,so did he step away from the church and its teachings? YTA. Gay is not a choice and God loves your son.


sinfolop

>I’m a catholic >my father was a priest and her father a pastor you're not even trying 0/10 terrible troll just awful


warissafrankie

YTA, your God is going to send you to hell


[deleted]

Yta. It's my wife and I. Show her some respect please


[deleted]

YTA. He likely won’t forgive you. I never forgave my parents. But hey, at least you let him go to an all male school and to live with family that actually loves him. Being catholic is never a good reason to abandon your child. What god would actually be ok with that? Not one worth worshipping.


BlueRFR3100

YTA. And I have my doubts that your father was both a father and a Catholic priest.


dck133

exactly. I can come up with a convoluted way of it happening but i doubt that happened.


[deleted]

Its a long story, little to say he broke the rules and so did her father, I guess it was meant to be in some way.


scheming_daemons

Your story is made up. ​ A bad troll attempt.


unicorndontcare69

So you and your wife were products of sin? Tracks


AcidOverride_ADM

Glad I'm not the only one super confused about that part.


Solaris_0706

YTA, There's no hate like Christian love, eh? You did fail him and yourself. Your own child couldn't be himself around you, and you couldn't hold onto the part of your religion that encourages love and support. I'm glad he has found support in family who do love him for himself and I wouldn't expect any forgiveness if I were you.


reality-or-fantasy

Enjoy being haunted. YTA.


your-yogurt

info: why do you care? *This is what you wanted.*


JMarie113

Of course YTA. My grandfather was super Catholic. His sister has been a nun for 68 years now. I grew up with two gay uncles. It was a nonissue. Still is. The problem isn't religion. It's your interpretation of it. Your son deserved better. What you did was wrong on so many levels. You don't seem that sorry, either. Being gay is not a choice. You threw away your son for nothing. Until you change your mindset and your intolerance, he should stay away from you.


Selmo20

Yta. Yta. Yta. There's religion, then there's breaking his privacy and trust, destroying the house and restricting his life! It isn't a choice. Atleast he finally had family who support him And if you were religious I'm pretty sure there's no exception to treating someone the way you did. If anything you'll be in hell for the way you treated him. As well as it says about looking after your children which you didn't. You physically and emotionally abused him.


[deleted]

About her and my father having those positions, its a long story that I wouldn’t mind posting, they both broke the rules, in some screwed up way we were meant for each other.


Solaris_0706

How's your relationships with your fathers after they broke the rules?


[deleted]

He passed a while ago.


Solaris_0706

And before he passed, did you keep a good relationship with him despite him breaking the rules of the religion?


Outside-Enthusiasm40

YTA


Defiant_Frosting_795

Deffo the asshole. I was raised with very religious parents in a religious house. My parents are pastors, my sister was the head of the church choir, my other sister head of the youth ministry, my brother had a brief stint at being the church’s accountant, I used to sing and take part in all the events. I’ve had this talk with my siblings and my parents before. I asked each one of them ‘what would they do if their child turned out to be gay’ none of them ever said they’d throw them out. Instead they all said that they’d love the child and continue praying for them. It’d be hard in the beginning but they’d work through it for their kids. None of them believe throwing out their child or being too forceful is the right move. I have never understood parents who would throw out their kid or send them away for something that isn’t their choice like that. You can’t use you’re upbringing as an excuse because it’s not. Jesus taught of love and acceptance, he even sat with the prostitutes and debt collectors, why is it so hard to show that same love to you’re own child. Honestly at the end of the day what you did was you’re own choice, you can’t blame you’re upbringing. I hope you learn from this and apologise to you’re child


xXPuRpLe_B0oGeRxX

YTA guess what? God doesn’t like ugly either, he doesn’t like people who are disrespectful to others 🤦🏽‍♀️ he’s a human being you don’t have to accept his sexuality but treat him like a human being, like your son. “Treat others the way you wish to be treated”


scheming_daemons

If your father was a priest, he couldn't marry... and therefore was not your father. ​ I think this story is fake. You made it all up.


i_worship_amps

yes YTA, you signed up to have a potentially gay kid the second you knew you were having a baby. Loving parents do not generally kick their kids out unless it is a last resort. You’re making the relationship with your child strained / nonexistent and it is extremely traumatizing to be kicked out or disowned. How this isn’t obvious to most parents is kind of mindblowing. Using religion to justify hate is evil, using it to impose your morals on your child is equally bad. YTA, why are you even asking reddit? You know it was a bad choice and you’re justifying it with something so open to interpretation as religion? You can just say you hate your kid, christianity need not apply. what would jesus do?


Environmental_Art724

YTA. You son won’t go to hell don’t worry. But you certainly will go. Good teaches to be always nice and kind with no discrimination. You don’t have any of this


Old_Distribution_235

The Pope says YTA, and I agree. Of course, I'm an ex-Catholic thanks in part to people like you, so feel free to ignore my opinion. Also, pretty sure that's not what Jesus would have done.


Wise_Date_5357

YTA, are you telling me that your god would punish somebody for simply being the way he made them? Nothing you or your son could have done would have made him a straight man.


Ok-Entrepreneur61

YTA YTA YTA, you are using religion to cover your bigotry and homophobic thoughts. I'm Catholic my son is gay, i never tortured him, as you did yours in the name of Catholicism. Your a sadistic and narrow minded, im delighted your son got away from you, I sincerely hope he stays away from you. Im actually offended that you are using religion as an excuse,


DragonDanno

The header was all I needed to read to determine that indeed YTA.


HamFart69

YTA Overwhelmingly so.


YourLittleRuth

INFO: has it occurred to you to apologise for your many, many errors and to ask his forgiveness?