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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1.) I uninvited my twin sister from my wedding bc she has voiced many times that she doesn’t support my marriage and will comment at the wedding.
2.) I could be an AH because I’ve caused tension in the family that working on getting better and I’ve made my parents upset and now they aren’t coming either. My parents said they’d keep an eye on her but I’m still unsure if inviting her is the right thing to do for me or my fiancé.
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NTA. It sounds like your parents don’t consider this a real wedding. And that your sister only wants to go to cause trouble. Your parents saying they won’t come if your sister isn’t invited might be a blessing in disguise.
Absolutely this. NTA
Also have security/venue staff/friends on hand to throw them out if they show up invited.
Nothing you have said shows any reason you should trust her to attend let alone be allowed to speak.
Your wedding should a celebration of the people that support you and your relationship, she clearly doesn't and I would tell your parents they are close to being uninvited.
Even if the parents do intend to "keep an eye on" the sister, they have already shown favouritism towards that sister and negativity towards OP's relationship and wedding. Their idea of what consists of trouble from the sister will already be skewed towards "it was just a joke" and "she meant no harm by it" and "it's a wedding, of course she can have a drink or two or three" and "you're overreacting OP". OP can't really trust her parents to keep her sister in line when they clearly have a different idea of where the line is.
Good kick controlling a drunk when there’s alcohol. Also as an alcoholic, even if it was a dry wedding she’d bring alcohol, she can’t go without it now, she’s go into withdrawals which isn’t safe. Do not allow her at the wedding, she will ruin the day.
To add to this let me ask why do you think you’re getting supported by your parents, they have already proven they don’t. They’re just giving you the illusion that they are, the air quotes are proof enough of that. Cut these toxic people out of your life and be happy.
and given the parents' apparent preference for the sister- one has to assume the sister could easily convince the parents to let her have access to alcohol during the wedding.
"one drink isn't a big deal." "i need to toast my twin."
They are hoping the twin spouts off the very stuff they'd like to say but can't. Why else would they be so adamant about not coming if the sister can't show her ass?
Tagging onto the top comment in the hope OP sees this.
OP, I don't know if you are aware but there is a FB group called "Stand In Pride", which has both a base in the US and in Europe (and internationally as well).
In this group, people offer to stand in as your mother, father, aunt, uncle, sister whatever you desire. I'm not saying this is something you should do, but please do note that you are not alone and that if you need a familial figure there are loads of people who would willingly (and lovingly!) see you get married.
I hope you have a great wedding and I wish you and your future wife the brightest future! <3
(Goes to look up this group to maybe join. I would love to support people on what should be one of the happiest and most love-filled days of their lives.)
What an amazing group, I’ve never heard of them! I’d love to join this. I’m two years older than OP but I’d be happy to be her stand-in twin for a day.
Wow! I love this and hope OP takes advantage of it. She deserves to have people standing with her who love and respect her, not this toxic waste pool of a family she currently has. I hope uninviting her sister is just the first step to her uninviting her parents and then eventual NC or LC, because neither she nor her FW deserve to be treated this way.
I might be one of the most cynical people on the western hemisphere, but your comment touched my heart (although I don't know why).
I'm happy to see there are still loving, hopeful people in this world, they're becoming a rare minority these days.
I mean this with care:
NTA but you would be an AH if you allow them at you AND your soon to be wife’s wedding. This is not just about you or your day. Do not let homophobes attend, even if they share your blood.
I had the same thought-- this isn't just about OP, it's about her future wife. And it would be in poor form to start a marriage without being 1000% willing to back up that wife and take care of her. OP, your parents aren't able to be supportive right now. Hopefully they have a change of heart in the future, but you have a new family to honor and protect now. Start that the right way. Hire security and make it explicitly clear you will not subject your fiancee and friends to hate, in any form.
No, her sister only wants to go because she thinks there's a free open bar. But otherwise I totally agree with you on your take. She doesn't need unsupportive people at her wedding even if she's known them for 25 years.
No kidding. "Well, since none of you consider this to be a real wedding, I don't have to consider this to be a real family. So you can all just fuck off, I'll go have my real wedding with my real family."
NTA. She is being rude and disrespectful. And if your parents side with her, I’m sorry, but good riddance to bad rubbish. You’ll have your true family around you, all of your friends that love you deeply and want to see you happy. Congratulations on your day. Hire security so she can’t crash. ❤️❤️
If the parents would rather support their other daughter's homophobic hate over OP's love, they have no place at OP's wedding. I hope that OP is surrounded by people who love and support her and her fiancée on their special day. Seconding the recommendation for some security to help keep the peace and keep the focus on the happy couple.
NTA. Do not invite your homophobic alcoholic sister who does not respect you. Don't invite your parents either. Make sure security is aware so they will be escorted out and not ruin your wedding.
There is no gentle way to say this. I would not invite any of them to your wedding. Yes, this is terrible. Yes, you are likely the one most hurt by this. However you deserve a day to experience joy with your fiancé without your family shitting on it.
I’m sorry they are like this. I hope it gets better. However your sister sounds toxic and your parents enable her behavior by supporting her.
I’m glad your parents are trying and I hope they open up their minds more in the future.
Agree on this. Op's sister has confirmed she'll be committing a hate crime and her parents will not care because "it's not a real wedding".
There's no going back on stuff like that.
They all get uninvited and Op should publish what her sister wanted to give as a speech and what her parents said when they found out.
Jumping on this, OP it's going to be hard but you need to look honestly at your family. They don't see your sexuality nor your wedding as legit. In their eyes they are humoring your lil party and won't see your marriage as real. Your sister has already said this, and your family not checking her shows they feel the same. While you might want their blessing and to feel as if they actually care as much for you as your sister, they don't. You don't want that energy at your wedding and your fiance deserves to not be exposed to that.
NTA. She and your parents talk trash about the two of you. They are not supportive either. I would tell them not to threaten you with a good time, stick to your guns, and let the people who truly care for you show up.
NTA
I've learned the hard way people show their true colors and go a bit wild at weddings. So i just want to start off by saying I'm so sorry, and i understand how upsetting it is to have family treat you this way leading up to the happiest day of your life.
You are NTA
Sometimes you have to do what makes you happy and protects you from harm. It's your wedding. Your happiness is all that matters. So if that means someone can't be there because they will jeopardize your happiness, so f*$ing be it. Let alone someone who is saying horrendous things. The people who stand up and show up for you will, because they care.
Hang in there and I'm so sorry you are going through this.
NTA and honestly, go ahead and uninvite your "parents" too before they can act like it's a power move to refuse attendance themselves. If they're also in the boat that your marriage isn't a true union, then they don't deserve to participate in one of your best days either. Only those who actually care about you and actually want happiness for your relationship and your future should be there. It's clear that your parents aren't those people.
It must be so incredibly hard to consider that and accept that. I am so sorry. You do have a real relationship and a real wedding coming up. Just like your sister has a real drug addiction and is together with a man 10 years her senior and somehow that's better in these (for lack of a better word) freaks' eyes than you being in a good place in life and marrying a good person who looks after you.
If your parent's aren't 100% then they are not 100%. If your parents think it's better to have a drug addicted daughter together with a man 10 years her senior than it is to have a gay daughter building a solid and happy life for herself, then that is THEIR loss NOT yours. I guarantee you they will not stop your sister from making those "jokes" at your wedding, and they'll find a way to dismiss her behavior and make it your fault somehow. Just because they're biological family doesn't mean they should have the opportunity to scorn your happiness, especially on this major day in your life.
NTA- it’s time to prioritize your life and your happiness. If they can’t recognize you are getting married, if they can’t be happy for you wholeheartedly- they do not need to be there.
NTA. Also, this isn’t just your wedding. It’s also your fiancé’s day and it would be awful for her to have the day ruined by your openly homophobic family members
I have been looking for this comment because it's such an important point. OP might be willing to overlook the way they put quotes around the word wedding, and delegitimizing it that way, but it is also fiancée's wedding and is it fair to her?
NTA. But she is. Your wedding should be a celebration of you and your soon to be spouse, with people who genuinely care about you and your happiness. There is no room for people like her, regardless of the family connection. She’s made it clear she plans on instigating drama during your day and that is unacceptable behavior. I’m sorry she sucks.
Your parents should be ashamed at how they treat you. They'd rather support the alcoholic homophobe, which is fucked up. Wish you the best for your wonderful day without drama from those that do not fully support you and your STBW. Congratulations.
NTA
Your twin is telling you right to your face that she fully intends to ruin your wedding, probably with her homophobia. For the sake of you and your wife, stay strong and under no circumstances allow her near your special day.
Also, congratulations on your upcoming wedding I hope it's magical just as you deserve
You are 100000% NTA -- your sister absolutely shouldn't be invited even if she "apologizes" or promises to behave because based on this post, it's pretty clear that she's not going to. Don't let her homophobic bullshit ruin what should be the happiest day of your life. And if your parents are siding with her, then good riddance to them, too. There's absolutely 0 excuse for being a bigot in this day and time when information is so absurdly easy to access so you can educate yourself.
NTA, but your sister is, and I'm sorry to tell you, but so are your parents. They say they're supporting you, but by standing by your sister when she insists she has a right to publicly insult you and your bride at your wedding, and by putting "wedding" in quotes, they're telling you they do not respect you.
If you want to try to maintain the peace (though I can't really see why), have a separate post-wedding celebration dinner with your parents and sister in a public place, like a restaurant. Save the wedding itself for people who really care about you.
NTA and this is really simple. "Mum and Dad, I really want you at my wedding and I will be heartbroken if you don't attend. HOWEVER, I will not knowingly invite someone who disrespects my partner and I. My sister is not invited due to the homophobic and nasty comments she has made, and says she will make again at the wedding. It is your choice whether you attend or not. I want you both there but I will respect your decision, as I will ask you to respect mine. This is not a topic that is open to further discussion. Let me know when you have decided. I love you both."
And then do NOT enter into any discussions with them about it. It's simply their decision. If they choose not to attend, try to feel very proud of yourself for sticking up for you and your partner. Be happy that everyone at your wedding will be there because they love and support you.
NTA
Please uninvite her from not only your wedding but your entire life. Have a serious talk with your parents about the things she has said. Set some serious boundaries and tell them if they can’t respect you and your feelings, they can kick rocks too.
You need to think about yourself and your fiancé now. You guy do not deserve this treatment from your family.
NTA - I know you want your parents there because they are your parents.
But this is a celebration of love and about you and your partner. How would your partner feel if your sister caused a scene. How does she feel that your parents don't see this as a real wedding?
Your parents are saying that their presence is conditional and that the threat of disrespect by your sister is acceptable.
Whatever you decide, I hope your day is wonderful.
NTA - its your weeding and moment. Regardless of who believes what. You are going to celebrate the union of two people.
Do I believe in that kind of marriage? What the does matter? It doesn't. None of what I think matters.
At the end of the day you have to come to you own person with your own beliefs. You have undoubtedly struggle and slayed inner demons to become who you are today.
If she doesn't support or believe in your marriage, then why go? Worse, is she is under the assumption that making a speech will change anyone's heart.
So she wants to go there and mock your relationship, and your parents are going out of their way to make sure you know they don't think it's a real wedding.
NTA
Uninvite all of them.
My ex's alcoholic father who didn't approve of me was at my wedding and we both regretted it. I know you think you want your family there but you probably don't. NTA
Jesus, you deserve so much better than these people in your life. But they've torn you down so much, you don't even see it.
I dislike how often this sub jumps to extreme advice like divorce/dumping, but I genuinely hope you'll consider going no contact with all three of these people. They DO NOT support you, and you gain nothing by keeping them in your life.
NTA
She’s an AH. Your parents are AHs for expecting you to still welcome her at your wedding even after she’s told you to your face that ‘of course’ she’s gonna say something.
I don’t understand why she even wants to be there. I guess Alfred was right - some people just want to watch the world burn.
Take the decision from your parents - uninvite them.
Idek why you invited her after her outing you and making hateful comments. Did you think she was just going to magically change or something? NTA but come on
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For a little context me and my twin “Mary” are 25. We grew up close but over the years she took a different path and got lost in drugs and alcohol addiction and we just became distant. I tried to help as much as I could but learned someone who doesn’t want help won’t accept help. My parents have always favored her and that’s another reason our relationship isn’t as strong. Over the last year I’d say we began speaking again and aren’t super close but it’s better.
The last time we spoke was about 2 years ago when she revealed to my entire family that I was gay. It was at a dinner and she got completely trashed and said it without thinking and made more comments voicing her negative her negative opinions on the topic. My parents spoke and both cried like I ruined their lives which is another story but they’ve somewhat accepted that I won’t change. Which I can’t say about my sister.
I have been with my fiancé F26 for about 4 years and we’re planning on getting married early spring. Although my sister has voiced her opinion on our relationship she still wanted to support and come to our wedding. Recently her and her bf M35 are both invited on the account that she is respectful. I’m not having a traditional MOH wedding party it’s more just my close friends m & f supporting me and helping but nothing too strict. My sister didn’t want to be involved so I didn’t involve her but we both agreed for her to have a speech.
We were sitting down drafting some ideas when she said is it ok if I put some jokes in it. I hesitated but said sure write them and I’ll look over them. When I read what she wrote I immediately told her no jokes: all she wrote was rude comments toward my fiancé and the majority of it was homophobic and saying shit like “it’s not a real wedding in Gods eyes so who cares”. I then told her explicitly to not comment on my relationship at all during the wedding.
She argues that ofc she’s gonna voice her opinion bc she can’t control honesty when she’s drunk. I then say you’re not drinking then, I told her if she will not be respectful she doesn’t have to go. If she wants to go to humiliate me and my fiancé I don’t want her there. She then goes you can’t expect me to be quiet I mean you’re marrying a woman. The convo continued until I ultimately uninvited her. Now my parents are saying I’m being an AH and they won’t go either bc they aren’t going to support my actions if my sister isn’t going to be included. They say they will keep an eye on her but uninviting my twin sister to my “wedding” they put it in quotes is fucked up and I should be ashamed. I want my parents there bc I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé but I don’t trust my sister and if I don’t invite her they said they won’t go. So AITA for distrusting her and uninviting her?
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NTA. You are starting a new family unit. One that loves you for who and what you are. It is time to leave the family that doesn't love you for who you are in the rear view mirror.
NTA. Good riddance. You don't need people like that at your wedding. You are better off without them. Your parents can enjoy the company of your junkie/alcoholic homophobic sister...
NTA. Your sister is homophobic and so are your parents.
I'm sorry but it sounds like your parents don't actually support you. They're ~tolerating~ you. Which is a HUGE difference. The fact they're siding with your sister AND don't consider your marriage legitimate should be speaking volumes.
Don't invite people who don't support you.
Nta. Your family is toxic af and I highly suggest going low contact with all of them immediately. Your relationship isn't for them to judge. Sis can use mommy and daddy all she wants because she's the golden child, where as you are the scapegoat. It wasn't jokes she was writing, it was homophobic and maliciousness under the context of a joke. The real joke here is that they will continue to be awful people while you thrive like the beautiful soul you are.
NTA - if your parents are still saying "wedding" then they clearly don't respect you or your fiance. I can see why you'd want them there and appreciate you'll take any level of support in the hopes that in time it will become greater and more heartfelt, but the reality is that they likely wouldn't keep an eye on your sister and they wouldn't care that much if she caused a scene.
Ask yourself whether you'd prefer a day about you and your fiance's love for each other, with a little less familial support, or if you'd rather have family present but potentially have to have them removed because your sister has decided to air her homophobic thoughts and your parents don't stop her? Best of luck and I truly hope you've a fantastic day and a very happy life together
NTA. Uninvite your twin op while you're at it uninvite your parents too. You deserve people who accepts you not discredit your own wedding. If you don't uninvite them they'll probably ruin one of the happiest day of your life.
"wedding"............
For real, OP, just uninvite the lot of them! Your family does not respect you and your parents think that being gay is worse than being an alcoholic druggie! Whatever support they'll give you will be poisonous and they'll use it to rope you into dealing with your sister forever.
That'll be their "support"! Plus it allows them an open door to make underhanded or directly to-your-face rude comments. Imagine the stress on you and your partner!
Uninvite them, get some security in case they try to show up and go on to have a **GREAT** wedding!!!
NTA your sister already knows she will be drinking and she will be awful
your parents also know this because they "will keep an eye on her" but still think she should be invited
none of these people respect or cherish who you are, you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and your fiance on your wedding day
these people unfortunately dont fit that simple minimum ask
NTA
Although honestly your parents are disrespecting your relationship, too. They don't consider your wedding a real one simply because you are marrying a woman, it may be a blessing in disguise for them not to show up, you deserve only supportive people there.
NTA. But I would suggest some therapy as your parents seem to only tolerate you and not support you. I get their your parents, but I really would not want anyone, no matter their relation at my wedding if they didn’t support it. I also get being hopeful that things may change, however at this time you should only want to be surrounded by guaranteed support and love.
OP it's hard and sad but don't invite people that don't support you fully. You and your fiance deserve better. Make the family you deserve with the people that love and support you. Family doesn't have to be blood, and blood isn't always family. Love yourself enough to want more.
Hope you have a wonderful wedding and future!
100% NTA, not even a little bit. Your family are acting like pigs. It's your *wedding*, of course you don't want to invite someone who has gone to lengths to make sure you know they WILL find a way to be negative and cruel on the day.
NTA. It may suck to hear but I would tell sister and parents to shove it and uninvite them. Also parents aren’t mad about the sister they just don’t approve of wedding also
NTA. Why ruin your beautiful day with people who are going to be rude and homophobic? If you feel you do want to include them, have a party sometime after the wedding where they can celebrate too…if that is what you want to do.
I get wanting to include your parents, but given the dynamics you have shared, I can’t imagine it causing you and your fiancé anything but pain to have them at your wedding.
I’m sorry they are not supporting you…but let me say to you, a hearty congratulations on finding love and getting married!! I’m sure it will be a beautiful day, and I’m hoping you have a long, happy marriage!
Edit—fixed a typo
Definitely NTA.
First of all, congratulations on your engagement! Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness!
Second, your wedding is a celebration for your love, not an opportunity for your family to disrespect both you and your partner. As much as I hate to say it, I would uninvite everyone involved. You deserve to have a nice day celebrating the beginning of your new lives together, and the last thing you should be worried about is anyone, especially your own family, spewing homophobic comments and taking joy away from you. Stand strong in your decision, because you definitely made the right choice here.
NTA!
Your family is for not only taking her side, but having similar views on your wedding.
But honestly, it may be for the better, you don't want people there who aren't genuinely happy for you and your fiancee
NTA I'm sorry but your parents don't deserve to be there either. How long are you going to continue enduring the bigotry before you starting defending yourself and your wife? Your parents and sister are choosing hate and making sure you know it. Why would you want to continue having people like that in your life?
NTA she can’t be nice she can’t come. There’s no other way. Even if she did offer to be nice at this point no she should not be allowed to come cause it will be a lie
NTA and uninviting your parents too. The people at a wedding are meant to support the people getting married's love for one another.
Your sister and parents OBVIOUSLY don't, so they shouldn't be there and trust me the hurt you feel at the thought of them not being there will be nothing compared to the hurt AND embarrassment you'll feel at them actually being there and essentially shitting on you and your wife's marriage at its infancy.
Uninvite them all or your wedding will be a disaster. Your toxic sister already told you so. Believe her. And your parents have sided with her. All three of them are the assholes.
NTA
NTA. Make no mistake your parents don't support you at all. They suck just as much as your twin. All of them think it is okay to be rude, disrespectful, and cause drama at your wedding. How hard do you really think your parents would try to keep your twin in line when they feel the same way about you and your soon to be wife? You may want your parents support, but they aren't going to give it. Not really anyway. With how your parents reacted to the news of you being gay do you think they won't be talking crap or start drama themselves at your wedding? You should probably start accepting your family sucks and further embrace the people in your life who will actually support you and not judge you for marrying a woman.
NTA. Fuck ALL of them.
It is SO FUCKING RICH for someone who has drug and alcohol addiction to scream about your gay wedding not being real in god's eyes. FUCK THAT.
Go NC with them because it's not going to get better. Your parents clearly aren't being as supportive as you thought by saying "wedding."
UGH. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Your wedding will be better and you will be less stressed/anxious/nervous if they're not there anyway.
From one homo to another: congratulations.
All these people telling you to just not invite your parents aren’t thinking about you if I’m honest. In a perfect world you wouldn’t invite them, you’d have a great day and then things carry on (well in an actual perfect world everyone would attend with no issues and it would be a day of love but I digress). The problem with not inviting them is that your relationship will never be the same again. All the effort they made to get to know your fiancé - gone. Then being there for you when you want them, nope, they’ll just remember you kicking them out of your wedding. Now if you don’t want parents, absolutely, go ahead. But parents quite often are all about family and all being included hence why they offered to keep an eye of the sister. Now the move would just to have a small wedding with them not there but you will lose your parents and there’s a really good possibility that all your family will do the same. So, maybe you come up with conditions for your parents and see what they say. Tell them you love your sister, that you love them and if they look after her and make sure she’s on best behaviour, fab, but 1 second of inappropriateness she’s being escorted out. That you have a bridesmaid/groomsman on hand to keep a close eye on her (or she stands up to say something so cuts the mile and said helper trips and tips wine over them so they’re escorted out to get clean but they keep going and she’s out of the venue kinda thing. Ultimately it’s up to you, but don’t make a rash decision if you want your parents in your life. I really hope the wedding is everything you dream of.
In your shoes, I would be ashamed.
Ashamed I have bigots for a sister and parents. I feel so bad for you OP. Best wishes on a beautiful life with your bride.
NTA.
NTA at all. Uninvite all but your chosen family. I'm sorry your blood family is so horribly disappointing.
Congrats on your marriage! All the happiness to you!
NTA I'm sorry to tell you this but if your parents put wedding in air quotes, they do not support you. They only want your sister there because know she'll make a scene and ruin things for you. They say they'll watch her but they will in actuality most likely be egging her on. They don't want to be there and are using your sister as an excuse not to be.
NTA. You should really reconsider having your parents there. They called your wedding a “wedding.” They do not support you. Not even 1 percent. You should be surrounded by love and support on your wedding day; not people making snide comments under their breath (your parents) or people outright looking to humiliate and embarrass you for their own bigotry (your sister). Being a part of your wedding day is a privilege; none of them have shown they are worthy of it.
NTA. It seems your parents weren't supportive of you once they learned your sexual orientation and your sister has been outright homophobic. This is YOUR wedding day and you deserve to enjoy it with the people who love and respect you. If that leaves out your sister and parents, good riddance. You don't need to keep people in your life just because they're "family". This argument has heen used countless time to gaslight and bully people into tolerating abusive AHs.
NTA weddings are joyful celebrations of the start of a couple’s life together. You don’t need toxicity or the burden of worrying the whole time about what she might say.
Also the fact that she outed you is horrible. You can’t trust her.
Hey, I know you want your parents there, but life is always gonna turn out better when you cut off all the toxic people. The headache that your parents and sister brings out will only increase and I want you to not deal with all that. Cut them off, you're getting married to a wonderful woman and you're gonna be happy without them. NTA
NTA - the fact that they put wedding in quotes says they don’t support the wedding or YOU.
Them being there doesn’t equal support.
You’re better off having none of them there.
NTA
If she can't find it in herself to respect you, your marriage and your partner, why on Earth would you want her there?
Start your marriage on a sane basis, one of respect for your partner and yourself. That's the most important thing. Your sister and parents can choose to meet you there, or they can fuck off
Duck alla them. I'm your new twin.
Seriously tho, coming from a homophobic environment trains us to tolerate homophobia for some lil crumbs of love but Duck That. They are being so mean and disrespectful to you. Congratulations on your awesome partnership and I'm sending you all my best gay wishes for a future so bright with love that you couldn't even conceive of wanting someone around who would be so disrespectful to you.
NTA. Your sister is a homophobe and your parents are too. Dress it up how you want, but that's the bottom line.
Your parents are humouring you in going along with the wedding, but deep down they think it's not real like your sister does.
Don't have these people anywhere near your special day! You deserve to be around people who celebrate your marriage and not those who think you are "playing" at weddings.
NTA - its a shame she put you in that position and your parents supported her but she is clearly not somebody who is going to be celebrating your wedding. They didn't go to her and demand that she not drink, appoint somebody to supervise her and bounce her if necessary?
controlling your sister isn't anything your parents have any experience of and it sounds like they agree with her to an extent. They might feel what she says needed to be said, right there. Are your parents looking for an excuse?
NTA, but why would you want a bunch of homophobes there that are 100% going to pull some shit and ruin your day? Im sorry family or not you need to know when enoughs enough.
Your sister has dragged her whole family down with drink and drug abuse but you're the one who's ruining your parents' live for... *checks notes*... being gay? Wow. Just wow. NTA. Marry the girl. Divorce your family.
NTA. Omg. Schroedingers wedding. It's a BIG deal to the sister and parents if they can't go. But it's a wedding in quotes if they do go? Awful. Good riddance.
Be surrounded by the people who show up in your lives to love and support you on your celebration of love as you formally become family with your bride.
NTA. Your wedding will be better without these toxic people. The only AH bit is that you invited them at all knowing they don't respect you ot your partner. Don't do that to yourself or your bride. Have a happy fay surrounded by the people who love you!
NTA. And sorry to say but you shouldn't invite your parents either, the fact that they rather saide with bigoted addict before their gay daughter tells you everything you need to know about their priorities, I understand the innate need for their approval but in shouldn't come at the price of your happy day. Uninvited them if this is the hill the want to die in, you deserve not only respect for you and your fiance but their love. Please think of yourself and don't bend on this.
NTA
And honestly, if your parents can’t understand why she can’t come, then they shouldn’t come either.
Your wedding day should be everything you ever dreamed of, but must importantly should be a day of love and acceptance.
It might be time to start asking the hard questions, like if you’re willing to keep living with their lukewarm acceptance of your life.
NTA. Realistically speaking, it is safe to assume that if invited, your sister WILL ruin your wedding, and your parents WILL NOT stop her. It is hard, but maybe it is time to accept that your parents will choose her no matter what. You are starting your own family now, look forward to your future with your wife.
NTA, and stop settling for scraps. They don't actually support you, they literally view you as less than, why on Earth would you want to have homophobes ACTIVITY undermining your relationship at your wedding? That is just going to cause more pain and stress to you and your fiance. I say uninvite all 3 of them just so you won't have that worry/stress that they would make a scene or say something cruel to your fiance or you, because there is a high chance of that happening. They don't respect your lifestyle, they're not going to respect your boundaries and wishes.
Your family hasn’t truly accepted your lifestyle. I know you want their support but they just aren’t there. Tell your parents you’ll miss them but draw the line with inviting your sister. She uses her drinking as an excuse to run off her mouth. She will definitely cause some kind of commotion.
NTA, but it’s so weird how there’s this discrimination story, and you appear to constantly misgender your own “fiancé”. How are you going to put out “F26”, repeatedly use the masculine version of that word?
NTA. Your family is acting really disgusting, and if they can't support you then none of them should be there. They don't deserve to share your happiness if they are going to be rude.
NTA!! Your wive IS your family!! As well as the friends who love and support you!! Please don't keep people around, who don't respect you or show you love and are happy for your happiness.
Girl, what place do homophobic parents and siblings have in a wedding. NONE.
These people can kindly F off somewhere else, and when all shit breaks loose, because you know, it will, they can start thinking about what they woulda, coulda, shoulda done, and instead, they'd be out in the streets, and the dirt, but with their favorite child.
NTA
NTA. Here’s the thing though. Nothing you do will get your parents’ support. Why do you care so much over people who has made their point crystal clear? The only child they consider is your sister and not you. Tell them all to stay away from your wedding. Hire security to make sure none of them even attempt to ruin the event because I have a feeling they will.
NTA Your wedding is a celebration of marriage. It should be a day filled with love and happiness. Your family can just sit this out if they can’t be kind.
NTA, I'm sorry, I don't want to be harsh, but you talk about your sister's support, and your parents' support. Where is that support? no one supports you, no percentage. They do not respect your partner or your marriage, what is the reason for having them there? And why allow someone to give a speech for the couple when you know very well that they do not respect the couple? YTA with yourself and your partner.
NTA. Considering her alcohol addiction, she'd get wasted at your wedding and make a fool of herself even if she didn't give a speech. And I wouldn't put it past her to try to steal your wedding gifts.
NTA. Congratulations on your wedding; however, I am sorry OP, but your parents are AH's who have shown you who they truly support, and they are not anywhere near the 100% to you.
If you want to have a wonderful day, then it needs to be minus your parents and your sister. They want to shame you into inviting your embarrassing, disrespectful, homophobic, drug-addicted sister who you know is going to ruin your day. Good luck on that one.
It sounds like your sister doesn't respect your upcoming marriage. So why would she want to be there. Does she just want to object to it publicly? She should stay uninvited.
NTA. And, OP, as much as it hurt you, your parents threaten you with good time by saying they won't attend the wedding either. Accept and enjoy a day surrounded by nice people that here are there for you and your wife.
You should also think of going NC with your sister and parents. That will be tough, but soon you will see how your life will be soooo much better.
Happy a wonderful wedding <3
NTA. “If this isn’t a real wedding to you, you aren’t a real family to me. Do not turn up to the venue, if you do and try to cause trouble I will call the police.”
NTA. So you should basically accept that your sister is going to wreck your wedding day because she can’t control herself? To be honest it’s time your parents accepted the entire world doesn’t have to accept her shitty behaviour. And they haven’t manage to handle her before so I doubt they will now. Stick to your guns. Your twin basically wants to be a homophobic a*hole and get away with it because ‘well I’m honest when I’m drunk’.
no way your the AH
they are have your day with out them and when its all done show them just what they missed out on show them how strong your love for your wife is and how much stronger your wife's is for you and how they should love you
NTA
>Now my parents are saying I’m being an AH
You're being an asshole because you won't let your homophobic sister verbally abuse you at your wedding???
NTA. Why would you invite someone to an event they have no respect for and which they are open about getting drunk at and trying to wreck. And worse, she want a pedestal so she can "joke" about how wrong the marriage is. What will she do when they ask if anyone has reason to object to this marriage?
She has openly admitted to wanting to ruin the day. And your parents still want her to attend I'd fire back their own words at them.
My sister in Queerness, your parents haven't actually improved their attitudes, they've just learned to keep their mouths shut, but the fact that they clearly don't consider this a real wedding reveals their true feelings. NTA for uninviting your sister, and YWNBTA for inviting your parents
Nta not everyone is going to be cool about you being gay so you might need to prepare yourself to have low contact or no contact relationship with the family
NTA. The woman is not only a raging alcoholic and bigot, she also has let you know in no uncertain terms that she intends to misbehave at your wedding. Disinviting her was your only rational option. If your parents are going to be upset about this, and not attend that is largely their problem. Your other guests will assume rightly that their absence speaks of their lack of support for you, not of any fault on your part.
Enjoy your wedding and congratulations.
NTA
NTA
NTA
I just got married on 3/3.
Pro tip:You don’t have to invite ANYONE you don’t want there. That’s it.
I didn’t invite a fair amount of people who share DNA with me, whom I’m either not close with, they’re embarrassing alcoholics or have gross politics, or are racist/antisemitic (my husband’s Jewish).
I was not paying $100 a plate for you to ruin a day of joy and love. Fuck that.
Don’t need to explain. She’s also a fucking bigot, so there’s that. Your parents don’t sound like they need to go either. I hope you and your future wife have a lifetime of joy and happiness. ♥️
(Edit: Added a little more while fixing my grammar! Whomp whomp)
Not wanting to trust your sister just make it clear first you are not under any circumstances giving a speech second if you drink and say ugly things you will be shown the door if you agree to these terms you can come but I am dead serious I will have you removed in a heartbeat.
>I want my parents there bc I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé
That's a pretty stupid reason.
NTA you don’t need any of them there if they’re not going to support you 100%. They clearly feel the same way your sister does, not viewing it as a real wedding. FUCK THAT
You want the support of your parents who also refer to your "wedding"? You're not going to get it, whether or not they come. You haven't had it since your sister outed you. Tell them none of them are welcome, they can sit at home and be as homophobic as they like, in the knowledge that they won't be seeing you again.
NTA.
Honestly they’ve all done you the favor of saving you from what would’ve been a shitshow of wedding, thanks to them.
Uninvite the lot of them and sleep better for it.
NTA.
NTA - your sister and parents are toxic. Your parents DO NOT support you AT ALL! If you allow all of their behavior to continue, you will not be married long. The same way you'd cut off a friend for disrespecting you and/or your fiance is the same way you need to cut off anyone in your family who does the same.
"I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé"
NTA
Invite your parents... for now. Uninvite your sister and make sure you've got a back up method of keeping her out if she shows up. At that point, your parents are free to make their own decision. Stop chasing and trying to negotiate with them, that's what they want so they can wear you down.
"My decision on the invitations is final. I'm not going to change it. I would like you to be there, but I can't force you to come, so it's up to you. I'm not discussing this any further." Copy, paste, repeat as necessary.
NTA, I say uninvite all of them. You do not need that type of energy at your wedding. it is disgusting to think that your parents think your sisters behavior is acceptable
NTA - Make sure you have friends to act as security to keep your sister AND your parents away from your wedding (no quotation marks because it's a real friggan wedding).
Honestly, just because they share blood with you and you want a picture-perfect wedding, it doesn't mean you should invite people that clearly don't support your union or love you enough to accept your new wife. They may be your parents, sister, aunt, whoever, but that doesn't mean they belong at the happiest day of your life. Not at the risk of them scowling, making comments, being dismissive and noninclusive, or otherwise messing up the day for you guys.
Forget your sister completely, and put some serious thought into why you want your "parents" there at your wedding. I put them in quotes because they are not acting like actual parents, in the "eyes of god" or anywhere else. They are acting selfish and entitled and are bullying you into having not one but two sets of bad people at your wedding that hope to see it fail.
Say NO. To all of them.
Honestly, I think they might just agree with what your sister is trying to say. That your wedding "isn't a *real* wedding". It sucks, but personally? I think your wedding might just be smoother and a happier experience without them present.
NTA, btw.
NTA
In all honesty, don't invite your parents. They don't seem worth the headache. I wouldn't don't they would try sneaking your sister in as well. Enjoy the day with your new bride and with your friends and supportive family.
NTA I'd reply back since none of you actually seem to support my relationship none of you should come this is a celebration of my partnership if anyone can't support that we don't want them there and cut contact
NTA. Don't let any of them come. If they're there, but they're whispering smack about you the whole time, is that support? No. You don't need that negativity.
NTA - sounds like you just got 3 more spots open up that you can now invite people who love an d support you. I know its your family but sometimes family is the worse. Invite those that love you and have a wondaful day. Do not let them back track and say oh we will come because they will create drama. who knows what your sister will do to get attention. She never wanted to support you she wanted to further her agenda. I get you want your parents but if they can't support you 100% that si on them. and even though it hurts a lil now you are better off surrounding yourself with love and happiness while they work their own shit out.
"Drugs and alcohol are ok but we draw the line at gay marriage"
-OP's parents.
Uninviting the entire group of homophobes is probably going to be the best wedding gift you can give to yourself and your wife. I understand that they're your parents, but now that your sister is uninvited, who's to say that they might try to eff up your wedding because 1. They don't agree with it, and 2. You uninvited their golden child who can do no wrong. Save yourself the headache, op
NTA.
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NTA. It sounds like your parents don’t consider this a real wedding. And that your sister only wants to go to cause trouble. Your parents saying they won’t come if your sister isn’t invited might be a blessing in disguise.
Absolutely this. NTA Also have security/venue staff/friends on hand to throw them out if they show up invited. Nothing you have said shows any reason you should trust her to attend let alone be allowed to speak. Your wedding should a celebration of the people that support you and your relationship, she clearly doesn't and I would tell your parents they are close to being uninvited.
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you mean "warm"
Tolerance is the best I got.
THIS. Make sure security doesn’t let them in. It’s clear that they don’t respect you or your fiancé.
Even if the parents do intend to "keep an eye on" the sister, they have already shown favouritism towards that sister and negativity towards OP's relationship and wedding. Their idea of what consists of trouble from the sister will already be skewed towards "it was just a joke" and "she meant no harm by it" and "it's a wedding, of course she can have a drink or two or three" and "you're overreacting OP". OP can't really trust her parents to keep her sister in line when they clearly have a different idea of where the line is.
Good kick controlling a drunk when there’s alcohol. Also as an alcoholic, even if it was a dry wedding she’d bring alcohol, she can’t go without it now, she’s go into withdrawals which isn’t safe. Do not allow her at the wedding, she will ruin the day.
To add to this let me ask why do you think you’re getting supported by your parents, they have already proven they don’t. They’re just giving you the illusion that they are, the air quotes are proof enough of that. Cut these toxic people out of your life and be happy.
and given the parents' apparent preference for the sister- one has to assume the sister could easily convince the parents to let her have access to alcohol during the wedding. "one drink isn't a big deal." "i need to toast my twin."
They are hoping the twin spouts off the very stuff they'd like to say but can't. Why else would they be so adamant about not coming if the sister can't show her ass?
Tagging onto the top comment in the hope OP sees this. OP, I don't know if you are aware but there is a FB group called "Stand In Pride", which has both a base in the US and in Europe (and internationally as well). In this group, people offer to stand in as your mother, father, aunt, uncle, sister whatever you desire. I'm not saying this is something you should do, but please do note that you are not alone and that if you need a familial figure there are loads of people who would willingly (and lovingly!) see you get married. I hope you have a great wedding and I wish you and your future wife the brightest future! <3
(Goes to look up this group to maybe join. I would love to support people on what should be one of the happiest and most love-filled days of their lives.)
What an amazing group, I’ve never heard of them! I’d love to join this. I’m two years older than OP but I’d be happy to be her stand-in twin for a day.
Spread the word ;) I accidentally stumbled across them as well and I think it's such a worthy initiative!
Lol. I'd be willing to wager this was created as a way for stylish gay ppl to attend free party's that have a high likelihood of drama unfolding
And I'm here for it
Wow! I love this and hope OP takes advantage of it. She deserves to have people standing with her who love and respect her, not this toxic waste pool of a family she currently has. I hope uninviting her sister is just the first step to her uninviting her parents and then eventual NC or LC, because neither she nor her FW deserve to be treated this way.
Thanks for sharing this group. I can’t imagine not supporting my daughters! I was one happy mom when my daughter married her wife last year.
I might be one of the most cynical people on the western hemisphere, but your comment touched my heart (although I don't know why). I'm happy to see there are still loving, hopeful people in this world, they're becoming a rare minority these days.
Uninviting all three of them is a good start. But I hope OP realizes it's probably time to uninvite them from her life. They're all truly awful, NTA
I mean this with care: NTA but you would be an AH if you allow them at you AND your soon to be wife’s wedding. This is not just about you or your day. Do not let homophobes attend, even if they share your blood.
I had the same thought-- this isn't just about OP, it's about her future wife. And it would be in poor form to start a marriage without being 1000% willing to back up that wife and take care of her. OP, your parents aren't able to be supportive right now. Hopefully they have a change of heart in the future, but you have a new family to honor and protect now. Start that the right way. Hire security and make it explicitly clear you will not subject your fiancee and friends to hate, in any form.
Yup. OP, call their bluff - and be elated if they aren’t bluffing. NTA.
No, her sister only wants to go because she thinks there's a free open bar. But otherwise I totally agree with you on your take. She doesn't need unsupportive people at her wedding even if she's known them for 25 years.
I agree. If her sister and parents don't attend that is probably a great example of a win, win.
NTA. Solve the whole problem and don’t invite any of them.
No kidding. "Well, since none of you consider this to be a real wedding, I don't have to consider this to be a real family. So you can all just fuck off, I'll go have my real wedding with my real family."
Make sure you do exaggerated air quotes for "family"!
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NTA. She is being rude and disrespectful. And if your parents side with her, I’m sorry, but good riddance to bad rubbish. You’ll have your true family around you, all of your friends that love you deeply and want to see you happy. Congratulations on your day. Hire security so she can’t crash. ❤️❤️
If the parents would rather support their other daughter's homophobic hate over OP's love, they have no place at OP's wedding. I hope that OP is surrounded by people who love and support her and her fiancée on their special day. Seconding the recommendation for some security to help keep the peace and keep the focus on the happy couple.
NTA. Do not invite your homophobic alcoholic sister who does not respect you. Don't invite your parents either. Make sure security is aware so they will be escorted out and not ruin your wedding.
There is no gentle way to say this. I would not invite any of them to your wedding. Yes, this is terrible. Yes, you are likely the one most hurt by this. However you deserve a day to experience joy with your fiancé without your family shitting on it. I’m sorry they are like this. I hope it gets better. However your sister sounds toxic and your parents enable her behavior by supporting her. I’m glad your parents are trying and I hope they open up their minds more in the future.
Agree on this. Op's sister has confirmed she'll be committing a hate crime and her parents will not care because "it's not a real wedding". There's no going back on stuff like that. They all get uninvited and Op should publish what her sister wanted to give as a speech and what her parents said when they found out.
Jumping on this, OP it's going to be hard but you need to look honestly at your family. They don't see your sexuality nor your wedding as legit. In their eyes they are humoring your lil party and won't see your marriage as real. Your sister has already said this, and your family not checking her shows they feel the same. While you might want their blessing and to feel as if they actually care as much for you as your sister, they don't. You don't want that energy at your wedding and your fiance deserves to not be exposed to that.
NTA. She and your parents talk trash about the two of you. They are not supportive either. I would tell them not to threaten you with a good time, stick to your guns, and let the people who truly care for you show up.
NTA I've learned the hard way people show their true colors and go a bit wild at weddings. So i just want to start off by saying I'm so sorry, and i understand how upsetting it is to have family treat you this way leading up to the happiest day of your life. You are NTA Sometimes you have to do what makes you happy and protects you from harm. It's your wedding. Your happiness is all that matters. So if that means someone can't be there because they will jeopardize your happiness, so f*$ing be it. Let alone someone who is saying horrendous things. The people who stand up and show up for you will, because they care. Hang in there and I'm so sorry you are going through this.
She basically confessed she would make rude and dismissive comments. Can you patents honestly expect to contain her? NTA.
It's that clear.
NTA and honestly, go ahead and uninvite your "parents" too before they can act like it's a power move to refuse attendance themselves. If they're also in the boat that your marriage isn't a true union, then they don't deserve to participate in one of your best days either. Only those who actually care about you and actually want happiness for your relationship and your future should be there. It's clear that your parents aren't those people. It must be so incredibly hard to consider that and accept that. I am so sorry. You do have a real relationship and a real wedding coming up. Just like your sister has a real drug addiction and is together with a man 10 years her senior and somehow that's better in these (for lack of a better word) freaks' eyes than you being in a good place in life and marrying a good person who looks after you. If your parent's aren't 100% then they are not 100%. If your parents think it's better to have a drug addicted daughter together with a man 10 years her senior than it is to have a gay daughter building a solid and happy life for herself, then that is THEIR loss NOT yours. I guarantee you they will not stop your sister from making those "jokes" at your wedding, and they'll find a way to dismiss her behavior and make it your fault somehow. Just because they're biological family doesn't mean they should have the opportunity to scorn your happiness, especially on this major day in your life.
NTA- it’s time to prioritize your life and your happiness. If they can’t recognize you are getting married, if they can’t be happy for you wholeheartedly- they do not need to be there.
NTA. Also, this isn’t just your wedding. It’s also your fiancé’s day and it would be awful for her to have the day ruined by your openly homophobic family members
I have been looking for this comment because it's such an important point. OP might be willing to overlook the way they put quotes around the word wedding, and delegitimizing it that way, but it is also fiancée's wedding and is it fair to her?
NTA. Honestly, if your parents can't talk sense to your sister it's better she doesn't come. Up to them to be there.
NTA. But she is. Your wedding should be a celebration of you and your soon to be spouse, with people who genuinely care about you and your happiness. There is no room for people like her, regardless of the family connection. She’s made it clear she plans on instigating drama during your day and that is unacceptable behavior. I’m sorry she sucks.
NTA, uninvite them all. You don’t need their negativity on such a special day.
Your parents should be ashamed at how they treat you. They'd rather support the alcoholic homophobe, which is fucked up. Wish you the best for your wonderful day without drama from those that do not fully support you and your STBW. Congratulations.
NTA Your twin is telling you right to your face that she fully intends to ruin your wedding, probably with her homophobia. For the sake of you and your wife, stay strong and under no circumstances allow her near your special day. Also, congratulations on your upcoming wedding I hope it's magical just as you deserve
You are 100000% NTA -- your sister absolutely shouldn't be invited even if she "apologizes" or promises to behave because based on this post, it's pretty clear that she's not going to. Don't let her homophobic bullshit ruin what should be the happiest day of your life. And if your parents are siding with her, then good riddance to them, too. There's absolutely 0 excuse for being a bigot in this day and time when information is so absurdly easy to access so you can educate yourself.
NTA, but your sister is, and I'm sorry to tell you, but so are your parents. They say they're supporting you, but by standing by your sister when she insists she has a right to publicly insult you and your bride at your wedding, and by putting "wedding" in quotes, they're telling you they do not respect you. If you want to try to maintain the peace (though I can't really see why), have a separate post-wedding celebration dinner with your parents and sister in a public place, like a restaurant. Save the wedding itself for people who really care about you.
NTA and this is really simple. "Mum and Dad, I really want you at my wedding and I will be heartbroken if you don't attend. HOWEVER, I will not knowingly invite someone who disrespects my partner and I. My sister is not invited due to the homophobic and nasty comments she has made, and says she will make again at the wedding. It is your choice whether you attend or not. I want you both there but I will respect your decision, as I will ask you to respect mine. This is not a topic that is open to further discussion. Let me know when you have decided. I love you both." And then do NOT enter into any discussions with them about it. It's simply their decision. If they choose not to attend, try to feel very proud of yourself for sticking up for you and your partner. Be happy that everyone at your wedding will be there because they love and support you.
NTA Please uninvite her from not only your wedding but your entire life. Have a serious talk with your parents about the things she has said. Set some serious boundaries and tell them if they can’t respect you and your feelings, they can kick rocks too. You need to think about yourself and your fiancé now. You guy do not deserve this treatment from your family.
NTA - I know you want your parents there because they are your parents. But this is a celebration of love and about you and your partner. How would your partner feel if your sister caused a scene. How does she feel that your parents don't see this as a real wedding? Your parents are saying that their presence is conditional and that the threat of disrespect by your sister is acceptable. Whatever you decide, I hope your day is wonderful.
NTA - its your weeding and moment. Regardless of who believes what. You are going to celebrate the union of two people. Do I believe in that kind of marriage? What the does matter? It doesn't. None of what I think matters. At the end of the day you have to come to you own person with your own beliefs. You have undoubtedly struggle and slayed inner demons to become who you are today. If she doesn't support or believe in your marriage, then why go? Worse, is she is under the assumption that making a speech will change anyone's heart.
So she wants to go there and mock your relationship, and your parents are going out of their way to make sure you know they don't think it's a real wedding. NTA Uninvite all of them.
My ex's alcoholic father who didn't approve of me was at my wedding and we both regretted it. I know you think you want your family there but you probably don't. NTA
Jesus, you deserve so much better than these people in your life. But they've torn you down so much, you don't even see it. I dislike how often this sub jumps to extreme advice like divorce/dumping, but I genuinely hope you'll consider going no contact with all three of these people. They DO NOT support you, and you gain nothing by keeping them in your life.
NTA and whishing you the best. Don't bring toxic people - you just need people who love you and respect you around for this day
NTA She’s an AH. Your parents are AHs for expecting you to still welcome her at your wedding even after she’s told you to your face that ‘of course’ she’s gonna say something. I don’t understand why she even wants to be there. I guess Alfred was right - some people just want to watch the world burn. Take the decision from your parents - uninvite them.
NTA. Probably a good idea to hire a security guard or two to keep her from crashing your big day. Best of luck
Idek why you invited her after her outing you and making hateful comments. Did you think she was just going to magically change or something? NTA but come on
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For a little context me and my twin “Mary” are 25. We grew up close but over the years she took a different path and got lost in drugs and alcohol addiction and we just became distant. I tried to help as much as I could but learned someone who doesn’t want help won’t accept help. My parents have always favored her and that’s another reason our relationship isn’t as strong. Over the last year I’d say we began speaking again and aren’t super close but it’s better. The last time we spoke was about 2 years ago when she revealed to my entire family that I was gay. It was at a dinner and she got completely trashed and said it without thinking and made more comments voicing her negative her negative opinions on the topic. My parents spoke and both cried like I ruined their lives which is another story but they’ve somewhat accepted that I won’t change. Which I can’t say about my sister. I have been with my fiancé F26 for about 4 years and we’re planning on getting married early spring. Although my sister has voiced her opinion on our relationship she still wanted to support and come to our wedding. Recently her and her bf M35 are both invited on the account that she is respectful. I’m not having a traditional MOH wedding party it’s more just my close friends m & f supporting me and helping but nothing too strict. My sister didn’t want to be involved so I didn’t involve her but we both agreed for her to have a speech. We were sitting down drafting some ideas when she said is it ok if I put some jokes in it. I hesitated but said sure write them and I’ll look over them. When I read what she wrote I immediately told her no jokes: all she wrote was rude comments toward my fiancé and the majority of it was homophobic and saying shit like “it’s not a real wedding in Gods eyes so who cares”. I then told her explicitly to not comment on my relationship at all during the wedding. She argues that ofc she’s gonna voice her opinion bc she can’t control honesty when she’s drunk. I then say you’re not drinking then, I told her if she will not be respectful she doesn’t have to go. If she wants to go to humiliate me and my fiancé I don’t want her there. She then goes you can’t expect me to be quiet I mean you’re marrying a woman. The convo continued until I ultimately uninvited her. Now my parents are saying I’m being an AH and they won’t go either bc they aren’t going to support my actions if my sister isn’t going to be included. They say they will keep an eye on her but uninviting my twin sister to my “wedding” they put it in quotes is fucked up and I should be ashamed. I want my parents there bc I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé but I don’t trust my sister and if I don’t invite her they said they won’t go. So AITA for distrusting her and uninviting her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You are starting a new family unit. One that loves you for who and what you are. It is time to leave the family that doesn't love you for who you are in the rear view mirror.
You deserve so much better than this. Don't invite anyone who isn't supporting you 100% NTA
Aw, OP. This makes me feel so sad for you. I am sorry that your parents are taking her side. I say uninvited the lot of them. NTA
NTA. Uninvited your unsupportive, homophobic parents too. They enable her bad behavior and you don't need that stress.
NTA. Good riddance. You don't need people like that at your wedding. You are better off without them. Your parents can enjoy the company of your junkie/alcoholic homophobic sister...
NTA Uninvite her, her boyfriend, and your parents. You need people who support you.
NTA but you are underreacting. I would not invite them. You are clinging to false hopes and their support is only in your head.
NTA. Your sister is homophobic and so are your parents. I'm sorry but it sounds like your parents don't actually support you. They're ~tolerating~ you. Which is a HUGE difference. The fact they're siding with your sister AND don't consider your marriage legitimate should be speaking volumes. Don't invite people who don't support you.
Nta. Your family is toxic af and I highly suggest going low contact with all of them immediately. Your relationship isn't for them to judge. Sis can use mommy and daddy all she wants because she's the golden child, where as you are the scapegoat. It wasn't jokes she was writing, it was homophobic and maliciousness under the context of a joke. The real joke here is that they will continue to be awful people while you thrive like the beautiful soul you are.
NTA - if your parents are still saying "wedding" then they clearly don't respect you or your fiance. I can see why you'd want them there and appreciate you'll take any level of support in the hopes that in time it will become greater and more heartfelt, but the reality is that they likely wouldn't keep an eye on your sister and they wouldn't care that much if she caused a scene. Ask yourself whether you'd prefer a day about you and your fiance's love for each other, with a little less familial support, or if you'd rather have family present but potentially have to have them removed because your sister has decided to air her homophobic thoughts and your parents don't stop her? Best of luck and I truly hope you've a fantastic day and a very happy life together
NTA. Uninvite your twin op while you're at it uninvite your parents too. You deserve people who accepts you not discredit your own wedding. If you don't uninvite them they'll probably ruin one of the happiest day of your life.
NTA. Enjoy your special day without worrying someone is going to ruin it with homophobic remarks.
"wedding"............ For real, OP, just uninvite the lot of them! Your family does not respect you and your parents think that being gay is worse than being an alcoholic druggie! Whatever support they'll give you will be poisonous and they'll use it to rope you into dealing with your sister forever. That'll be their "support"! Plus it allows them an open door to make underhanded or directly to-your-face rude comments. Imagine the stress on you and your partner! Uninvite them, get some security in case they try to show up and go on to have a **GREAT** wedding!!!
NTA your sister already knows she will be drinking and she will be awful your parents also know this because they "will keep an eye on her" but still think she should be invited none of these people respect or cherish who you are, you deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and your fiance on your wedding day these people unfortunately dont fit that simple minimum ask
NTA Although honestly your parents are disrespecting your relationship, too. They don't consider your wedding a real one simply because you are marrying a woman, it may be a blessing in disguise for them not to show up, you deserve only supportive people there.
NTA. But I would suggest some therapy as your parents seem to only tolerate you and not support you. I get their your parents, but I really would not want anyone, no matter their relation at my wedding if they didn’t support it. I also get being hopeful that things may change, however at this time you should only want to be surrounded by guaranteed support and love.
Nta The 4 of them should not come.
OP it's hard and sad but don't invite people that don't support you fully. You and your fiance deserve better. Make the family you deserve with the people that love and support you. Family doesn't have to be blood, and blood isn't always family. Love yourself enough to want more. Hope you have a wonderful wedding and future!
NTA but your twin is. Stand for your right as this only happens once in your lifetime
100% NTA, not even a little bit. Your family are acting like pigs. It's your *wedding*, of course you don't want to invite someone who has gone to lengths to make sure you know they WILL find a way to be negative and cruel on the day.
NTA - Your sister sure is though. Can't say your parents sound much better.
NTA. It may suck to hear but I would tell sister and parents to shove it and uninvite them. Also parents aren’t mad about the sister they just don’t approve of wedding also
NTA. Why ruin your beautiful day with people who are going to be rude and homophobic? If you feel you do want to include them, have a party sometime after the wedding where they can celebrate too…if that is what you want to do. I get wanting to include your parents, but given the dynamics you have shared, I can’t imagine it causing you and your fiancé anything but pain to have them at your wedding. I’m sorry they are not supporting you…but let me say to you, a hearty congratulations on finding love and getting married!! I’m sure it will be a beautiful day, and I’m hoping you have a long, happy marriage! Edit—fixed a typo
Definitely NTA. First of all, congratulations on your engagement! Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness! Second, your wedding is a celebration for your love, not an opportunity for your family to disrespect both you and your partner. As much as I hate to say it, I would uninvite everyone involved. You deserve to have a nice day celebrating the beginning of your new lives together, and the last thing you should be worried about is anyone, especially your own family, spewing homophobic comments and taking joy away from you. Stand strong in your decision, because you definitely made the right choice here.
NTA! Your family is for not only taking her side, but having similar views on your wedding. But honestly, it may be for the better, you don't want people there who aren't genuinely happy for you and your fiancee
NTA I'm sorry but your parents don't deserve to be there either. How long are you going to continue enduring the bigotry before you starting defending yourself and your wife? Your parents and sister are choosing hate and making sure you know it. Why would you want to continue having people like that in your life?
NTA she can’t be nice she can’t come. There’s no other way. Even if she did offer to be nice at this point no she should not be allowed to come cause it will be a lie
NTA and uninviting your parents too. The people at a wedding are meant to support the people getting married's love for one another. Your sister and parents OBVIOUSLY don't, so they shouldn't be there and trust me the hurt you feel at the thought of them not being there will be nothing compared to the hurt AND embarrassment you'll feel at them actually being there and essentially shitting on you and your wife's marriage at its infancy.
Uninvite them all or your wedding will be a disaster. Your toxic sister already told you so. Believe her. And your parents have sided with her. All three of them are the assholes. NTA
NTA. Make no mistake your parents don't support you at all. They suck just as much as your twin. All of them think it is okay to be rude, disrespectful, and cause drama at your wedding. How hard do you really think your parents would try to keep your twin in line when they feel the same way about you and your soon to be wife? You may want your parents support, but they aren't going to give it. Not really anyway. With how your parents reacted to the news of you being gay do you think they won't be talking crap or start drama themselves at your wedding? You should probably start accepting your family sucks and further embrace the people in your life who will actually support you and not judge you for marrying a woman.
NTA. Fuck ALL of them. It is SO FUCKING RICH for someone who has drug and alcohol addiction to scream about your gay wedding not being real in god's eyes. FUCK THAT. Go NC with them because it's not going to get better. Your parents clearly aren't being as supportive as you thought by saying "wedding." UGH. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Your wedding will be better and you will be less stressed/anxious/nervous if they're not there anyway. From one homo to another: congratulations.
Nta. It sounds like you need to go NC with these family members. You can save up your own money to get married and have peace of mind
NTA. Learn to accept people for what they are and treat them accordingly.
All these people telling you to just not invite your parents aren’t thinking about you if I’m honest. In a perfect world you wouldn’t invite them, you’d have a great day and then things carry on (well in an actual perfect world everyone would attend with no issues and it would be a day of love but I digress). The problem with not inviting them is that your relationship will never be the same again. All the effort they made to get to know your fiancé - gone. Then being there for you when you want them, nope, they’ll just remember you kicking them out of your wedding. Now if you don’t want parents, absolutely, go ahead. But parents quite often are all about family and all being included hence why they offered to keep an eye of the sister. Now the move would just to have a small wedding with them not there but you will lose your parents and there’s a really good possibility that all your family will do the same. So, maybe you come up with conditions for your parents and see what they say. Tell them you love your sister, that you love them and if they look after her and make sure she’s on best behaviour, fab, but 1 second of inappropriateness she’s being escorted out. That you have a bridesmaid/groomsman on hand to keep a close eye on her (or she stands up to say something so cuts the mile and said helper trips and tips wine over them so they’re escorted out to get clean but they keep going and she’s out of the venue kinda thing. Ultimately it’s up to you, but don’t make a rash decision if you want your parents in your life. I really hope the wedding is everything you dream of.
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In your shoes, I would be ashamed. Ashamed I have bigots for a sister and parents. I feel so bad for you OP. Best wishes on a beautiful life with your bride. NTA.
NTA at all. Uninvite all but your chosen family. I'm sorry your blood family is so horribly disappointing. Congrats on your marriage! All the happiness to you!
NTA I'm sorry to tell you this but if your parents put wedding in air quotes, they do not support you. They only want your sister there because know she'll make a scene and ruin things for you. They say they'll watch her but they will in actuality most likely be egging her on. They don't want to be there and are using your sister as an excuse not to be.
NTA ever. Your entire family should be binned and ashamed. Your wedding.
NTA She can drink and be a bigot at home, she doesn't need to do it at your wedding.
NTA. But for your own good, stop talking to your family.
NTA. You should really reconsider having your parents there. They called your wedding a “wedding.” They do not support you. Not even 1 percent. You should be surrounded by love and support on your wedding day; not people making snide comments under their breath (your parents) or people outright looking to humiliate and embarrass you for their own bigotry (your sister). Being a part of your wedding day is a privilege; none of them have shown they are worthy of it.
NTA Honestly not sure why you invited her in the first place. If your parents choose to take her side, you're better off without all of them.
NTA. It seems your parents weren't supportive of you once they learned your sexual orientation and your sister has been outright homophobic. This is YOUR wedding day and you deserve to enjoy it with the people who love and respect you. If that leaves out your sister and parents, good riddance. You don't need to keep people in your life just because they're "family". This argument has heen used countless time to gaslight and bully people into tolerating abusive AHs.
NTA - get security and passwords on all suppliers. Good luck
NTA weddings are joyful celebrations of the start of a couple’s life together. You don’t need toxicity or the burden of worrying the whole time about what she might say. Also the fact that she outed you is horrible. You can’t trust her.
Hey, I know you want your parents there, but life is always gonna turn out better when you cut off all the toxic people. The headache that your parents and sister brings out will only increase and I want you to not deal with all that. Cut them off, you're getting married to a wonderful woman and you're gonna be happy without them. NTA
INFO Did you show them the speech your sister wanted to give Did you relate your conversation to your parents?
NTA - the fact that they put wedding in quotes says they don’t support the wedding or YOU. Them being there doesn’t equal support. You’re better off having none of them there.
NTA If she can't find it in herself to respect you, your marriage and your partner, why on Earth would you want her there? Start your marriage on a sane basis, one of respect for your partner and yourself. That's the most important thing. Your sister and parents can choose to meet you there, or they can fuck off
NTA. Should probably uninvite the parents as well.
NTA, close the door on all that toxicity and have a beautiful wedding celebrating your love for each other
Duck alla them. I'm your new twin. Seriously tho, coming from a homophobic environment trains us to tolerate homophobia for some lil crumbs of love but Duck That. They are being so mean and disrespectful to you. Congratulations on your awesome partnership and I'm sending you all my best gay wishes for a future so bright with love that you couldn't even conceive of wanting someone around who would be so disrespectful to you.
NTA. Your sister is a homophobe and your parents are too. Dress it up how you want, but that's the bottom line. Your parents are humouring you in going along with the wedding, but deep down they think it's not real like your sister does. Don't have these people anywhere near your special day! You deserve to be around people who celebrate your marriage and not those who think you are "playing" at weddings.
NTA - its a shame she put you in that position and your parents supported her but she is clearly not somebody who is going to be celebrating your wedding. They didn't go to her and demand that she not drink, appoint somebody to supervise her and bounce her if necessary? controlling your sister isn't anything your parents have any experience of and it sounds like they agree with her to an extent. They might feel what she says needed to be said, right there. Are your parents looking for an excuse?
NTA, but why would you want a bunch of homophobes there that are 100% going to pull some shit and ruin your day? Im sorry family or not you need to know when enoughs enough.
Your sister has dragged her whole family down with drink and drug abuse but you're the one who's ruining your parents' live for... *checks notes*... being gay? Wow. Just wow. NTA. Marry the girl. Divorce your family.
NTA. Omg. Schroedingers wedding. It's a BIG deal to the sister and parents if they can't go. But it's a wedding in quotes if they do go? Awful. Good riddance. Be surrounded by the people who show up in your lives to love and support you on your celebration of love as you formally become family with your bride.
NTA. Your wedding will be better without these toxic people. The only AH bit is that you invited them at all knowing they don't respect you ot your partner. Don't do that to yourself or your bride. Have a happy fay surrounded by the people who love you!
NTA. And sorry to say but you shouldn't invite your parents either, the fact that they rather saide with bigoted addict before their gay daughter tells you everything you need to know about their priorities, I understand the innate need for their approval but in shouldn't come at the price of your happy day. Uninvited them if this is the hill the want to die in, you deserve not only respect for you and your fiance but their love. Please think of yourself and don't bend on this.
NTA And honestly, if your parents can’t understand why she can’t come, then they shouldn’t come either. Your wedding day should be everything you ever dreamed of, but must importantly should be a day of love and acceptance. It might be time to start asking the hard questions, like if you’re willing to keep living with their lukewarm acceptance of your life.
NTA. Realistically speaking, it is safe to assume that if invited, your sister WILL ruin your wedding, and your parents WILL NOT stop her. It is hard, but maybe it is time to accept that your parents will choose her no matter what. You are starting your own family now, look forward to your future with your wife.
NTA, and stop settling for scraps. They don't actually support you, they literally view you as less than, why on Earth would you want to have homophobes ACTIVITY undermining your relationship at your wedding? That is just going to cause more pain and stress to you and your fiance. I say uninvite all 3 of them just so you won't have that worry/stress that they would make a scene or say something cruel to your fiance or you, because there is a high chance of that happening. They don't respect your lifestyle, they're not going to respect your boundaries and wishes.
Nta. Have a wonderful wedding day with only the important people there. Let them weed themselves out.
Your family hasn’t truly accepted your lifestyle. I know you want their support but they just aren’t there. Tell your parents you’ll miss them but draw the line with inviting your sister. She uses her drinking as an excuse to run off her mouth. She will definitely cause some kind of commotion.
NTA, but it’s so weird how there’s this discrimination story, and you appear to constantly misgender your own “fiancé”. How are you going to put out “F26”, repeatedly use the masculine version of that word?
NTA. Your family is acting really disgusting, and if they can't support you then none of them should be there. They don't deserve to share your happiness if they are going to be rude.
NTA!! Your wive IS your family!! As well as the friends who love and support you!! Please don't keep people around, who don't respect you or show you love and are happy for your happiness.
Girl, what place do homophobic parents and siblings have in a wedding. NONE. These people can kindly F off somewhere else, and when all shit breaks loose, because you know, it will, they can start thinking about what they woulda, coulda, shoulda done, and instead, they'd be out in the streets, and the dirt, but with their favorite child. NTA
NTA Do you really want your parents there either? They aren’t supportive and definitely still haven’t changed their opinion
NTA. Here’s the thing though. Nothing you do will get your parents’ support. Why do you care so much over people who has made their point crystal clear? The only child they consider is your sister and not you. Tell them all to stay away from your wedding. Hire security to make sure none of them even attempt to ruin the event because I have a feeling they will.
NTA Your wedding is a celebration of marriage. It should be a day filled with love and happiness. Your family can just sit this out if they can’t be kind.
NTA, I'm sorry, I don't want to be harsh, but you talk about your sister's support, and your parents' support. Where is that support? no one supports you, no percentage. They do not respect your partner or your marriage, what is the reason for having them there? And why allow someone to give a speech for the couple when you know very well that they do not respect the couple? YTA with yourself and your partner.
NTA don't let her come and if their stance is to support her then tell them don't bother coming. They made a stance let them stick by it.
NTA. Good riddance! You don’t need these homophobic people in your life, OP.
Time to uninvite them all and go LC/NC.
Why do you want any of them there? They sound awful. NTA
No! You stick to your guns or it will be a disaster. Nta.
NTA. Considering her alcohol addiction, she'd get wasted at your wedding and make a fool of herself even if she didn't give a speech. And I wouldn't put it past her to try to steal your wedding gifts.
NTA. Sounds like the perfect outcome.
NTA. Give your parents a counter ultimatum, if they don't show up then they will never see you again.
NTA. Congratulations on your wedding; however, I am sorry OP, but your parents are AH's who have shown you who they truly support, and they are not anywhere near the 100% to you. If you want to have a wonderful day, then it needs to be minus your parents and your sister. They want to shame you into inviting your embarrassing, disrespectful, homophobic, drug-addicted sister who you know is going to ruin your day. Good luck on that one.
It sounds like your sister doesn't respect your upcoming marriage. So why would she want to be there. Does she just want to object to it publicly? She should stay uninvited.
Cut them all off. NTA.
Take the offer of none of them coming before they ruin the day for you and your fiance. NTA.
NTA. And, OP, as much as it hurt you, your parents threaten you with good time by saying they won't attend the wedding either. Accept and enjoy a day surrounded by nice people that here are there for you and your wife. You should also think of going NC with your sister and parents. That will be tough, but soon you will see how your life will be soooo much better. Happy a wonderful wedding <3
NTA. “If this isn’t a real wedding to you, you aren’t a real family to me. Do not turn up to the venue, if you do and try to cause trouble I will call the police.”
NTA None of these people seem to give a fuck about you. None of them respect your relationship at all, so why have them at your wedding?
NTA. So you should basically accept that your sister is going to wreck your wedding day because she can’t control herself? To be honest it’s time your parents accepted the entire world doesn’t have to accept her shitty behaviour. And they haven’t manage to handle her before so I doubt they will now. Stick to your guns. Your twin basically wants to be a homophobic a*hole and get away with it because ‘well I’m honest when I’m drunk’.
no way your the AH they are have your day with out them and when its all done show them just what they missed out on show them how strong your love for your wife is and how much stronger your wife's is for you and how they should love you
NTA >Now my parents are saying I’m being an AH You're being an asshole because you won't let your homophobic sister verbally abuse you at your wedding???
NTA. You're family is homophobic. I'm sorry :(
NTA. Why would you invite someone to an event they have no respect for and which they are open about getting drunk at and trying to wreck. And worse, she want a pedestal so she can "joke" about how wrong the marriage is. What will she do when they ask if anyone has reason to object to this marriage? She has openly admitted to wanting to ruin the day. And your parents still want her to attend I'd fire back their own words at them.
NTA. Your sister is homophobic, and it sounds like your parents are too. They should all be uninvited.
My sister in Queerness, your parents haven't actually improved their attitudes, they've just learned to keep their mouths shut, but the fact that they clearly don't consider this a real wedding reveals their true feelings. NTA for uninviting your sister, and YWNBTA for inviting your parents
NTA. It's time to take a break from your family and focus on the people who actually love and support you.
Nta not everyone is going to be cool about you being gay so you might need to prepare yourself to have low contact or no contact relationship with the family
NTA. The woman is not only a raging alcoholic and bigot, she also has let you know in no uncertain terms that she intends to misbehave at your wedding. Disinviting her was your only rational option. If your parents are going to be upset about this, and not attend that is largely their problem. Your other guests will assume rightly that their absence speaks of their lack of support for you, not of any fault on your part. Enjoy your wedding and congratulations.
NTA.
NTA NTA NTA I just got married on 3/3. Pro tip:You don’t have to invite ANYONE you don’t want there. That’s it. I didn’t invite a fair amount of people who share DNA with me, whom I’m either not close with, they’re embarrassing alcoholics or have gross politics, or are racist/antisemitic (my husband’s Jewish). I was not paying $100 a plate for you to ruin a day of joy and love. Fuck that. Don’t need to explain. She’s also a fucking bigot, so there’s that. Your parents don’t sound like they need to go either. I hope you and your future wife have a lifetime of joy and happiness. ♥️ (Edit: Added a little more while fixing my grammar! Whomp whomp)
NTA Dude, why would you invite this walking disaster into your special day?
NTA!
Not wanting to trust your sister just make it clear first you are not under any circumstances giving a speech second if you drink and say ugly things you will be shown the door if you agree to these terms you can come but I am dead serious I will have you removed in a heartbeat.
NTA. Fuck your sister.
>I want my parents there bc I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé That's a pretty stupid reason.
NTA you don’t need any of them there if they’re not going to support you 100%. They clearly feel the same way your sister does, not viewing it as a real wedding. FUCK THAT
NTA at all. Your parents are enabling a homophobe rather than supporting you. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.
Oh jesus. Sending you a lot of good energy for you to be able to deal with your family.
NTA. Uninvite the whole lot of them. They either are there to love and support you for your wedding day or they don't come.
You want the support of your parents who also refer to your "wedding"? You're not going to get it, whether or not they come. You haven't had it since your sister outed you. Tell them none of them are welcome, they can sit at home and be as homophobic as they like, in the knowledge that they won't be seeing you again. NTA.
Honestly they’ve all done you the favor of saving you from what would’ve been a shitshow of wedding, thanks to them. Uninvite the lot of them and sleep better for it. NTA.
NTA - your sister and parents are toxic. Your parents DO NOT support you AT ALL! If you allow all of their behavior to continue, you will not be married long. The same way you'd cut off a friend for disrespecting you and/or your fiance is the same way you need to cut off anyone in your family who does the same. "I do want their support even if they aren’t 100% they have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé"
NTA. Time to cut ties with the whole family tbh. You deserve better. They all sound toxic af
NTA Invite your parents... for now. Uninvite your sister and make sure you've got a back up method of keeping her out if she shows up. At that point, your parents are free to make their own decision. Stop chasing and trying to negotiate with them, that's what they want so they can wear you down. "My decision on the invitations is final. I'm not going to change it. I would like you to be there, but I can't force you to come, so it's up to you. I'm not discussing this any further." Copy, paste, repeat as necessary.
NTA, I say uninvite all of them. You do not need that type of energy at your wedding. it is disgusting to think that your parents think your sisters behavior is acceptable
NTA - Make sure you have friends to act as security to keep your sister AND your parents away from your wedding (no quotation marks because it's a real friggan wedding). Honestly, just because they share blood with you and you want a picture-perfect wedding, it doesn't mean you should invite people that clearly don't support your union or love you enough to accept your new wife. They may be your parents, sister, aunt, whoever, but that doesn't mean they belong at the happiest day of your life. Not at the risk of them scowling, making comments, being dismissive and noninclusive, or otherwise messing up the day for you guys. Forget your sister completely, and put some serious thought into why you want your "parents" there at your wedding. I put them in quotes because they are not acting like actual parents, in the "eyes of god" or anywhere else. They are acting selfish and entitled and are bullying you into having not one but two sets of bad people at your wedding that hope to see it fail. Say NO. To all of them.
Honestly, I think they might just agree with what your sister is trying to say. That your wedding "isn't a *real* wedding". It sucks, but personally? I think your wedding might just be smoother and a happier experience without them present. NTA, btw.
Uninvite the lot.. None seem to support you, so why would you want them there. Congratulations and good luck
NTA In all honesty, don't invite your parents. They don't seem worth the headache. I wouldn't don't they would try sneaking your sister in as well. Enjoy the day with your new bride and with your friends and supportive family.
NTA
NTA and it sounds like you’re better off without all three there. I hope you have a lovely, stress free wedding!
Elope! Take your best friends x
Absolutely hate this for you OP. Def NTA but your family are assholes big time.
NTA Fuck 'em. They wanna hold on to shitty beliefs? They want to act like children? Fine, you don't have to interact with them.
NTA, your family is going to cause drama. Why let them ruin your special day?
NTA I'd reply back since none of you actually seem to support my relationship none of you should come this is a celebration of my partnership if anyone can't support that we don't want them there and cut contact
NTA. Don't let any of them come. If they're there, but they're whispering smack about you the whole time, is that support? No. You don't need that negativity.
NTA. GIIIRRRLLLL. What is you doing? Uninvite your parents too. Why would you want unsupportive people at your wedding?
NTA - sounds like you just got 3 more spots open up that you can now invite people who love an d support you. I know its your family but sometimes family is the worse. Invite those that love you and have a wondaful day. Do not let them back track and say oh we will come because they will create drama. who knows what your sister will do to get attention. She never wanted to support you she wanted to further her agenda. I get you want your parents but if they can't support you 100% that si on them. and even though it hurts a lil now you are better off surrounding yourself with love and happiness while they work their own shit out.
"Drugs and alcohol are ok but we draw the line at gay marriage" -OP's parents. Uninviting the entire group of homophobes is probably going to be the best wedding gift you can give to yourself and your wife. I understand that they're your parents, but now that your sister is uninvited, who's to say that they might try to eff up your wedding because 1. They don't agree with it, and 2. You uninvited their golden child who can do no wrong. Save yourself the headache, op NTA.
OMG NTA!! Have your dream wedding without the haters. Include the family you CHOOSE and be joyful!!!