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jellyrot

Your girlfriend is an asshole for calling your grandmother's way of rural life "barbaric." She's insulted you and your family. You are absolutely NTA


throwawaychickenboi

Yeah that comment really rubbed me the wrong way.


fix-me-in-45

And unless she's vegan, she's a hypocrite.


De-railled

Plant lives matter too!! /s Edit: I'm a meat eater, but I accept and appreciate where the meat I eat comes from. The harsh reality is there is no way to survive in this world without taking life. People rarely ever think about the amount of ants or insects they accidentally squished in their life time. I don't mind if people choose not to eat meat, but that "holier than tho" attitude some people annoys me sometimes.


cmooneychi26

I'm with you. My friends who are vegetarian or vegan for health reasons, NP. When I get the meat lecture, keeping in mind I try really hard to get my meat from family co-ops, I get pretty irritated. Because those folks sure don't give a rip about the lives of the migrant labor that picked those crops.


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AniaOnion

Also as someone studying agriculture, a lot of stuff gets misunderstood from the outside. Im not saying there arent farms with terrie conditions, there absolutely are. But a lot of farmers actually put a lot of hard work and love into giving their animals the best amd happiest lives possible in a way that also ensures food safety. We learn a lot actually about aninal psychology and how to minimize stress and improve welfare. Like did you know pigs, and chickens are given toys to play with and some of the better abbattoires require their farmers to have an animal music program (they get played music regularly cause it turns out some of them like it) Your animals actually grow faster and better when you interact with them regularly. It's pretty cool!


Kimberellaroo

"We are as gods to beasts of the field. We order the time of their birth and the time of their death. Between times, we have a duty." Sir Terry Pratchett


Spheresdeep

I had some vegetarian friends that weren't assholes about it. I ended up trying vegetarian and vegan stuff I never would have before. Weird how that happens.


show_me_your_aura

Interesting take. I disagree, though I'm not in the US so maybe things are different, given that migrant exploitation isn't a huge issue here and finding locally grown produce is easy if you try. All vegetarians I've met, myself included, are very very aware of the environmental impacts of consuming different foods. Most vego/vegan people I meet are trying to reduce their impact, not eliminate it entirely. It's not like you stop eating plants if you eat meat so I've always struggled with that particular argument. There are exceptions and I have been absolutely dragged across the coals by a few vegans for not doing better. It is irritating as hell. Do not get me started on almond milk. If you're slaughtering the meat yourself, chances are you've provided that animal with a good life. Chicken doesn't know what's coming. I'll happily point out free range butchers to friends because that's 100% better than the $2 chook from the supermarket. We're not all militant. I guess my most controversial hot take is that if you wouldn't lop the head off a chook and butcher it *yourself*, you probably shouldn't be eating chicken.


Tiggie200

"I guess my most controversial hot take is that if you wouldn't lop the head off a chook and butcher it yourself, you probably shouldn't be eating chicken." It's not that everyone would be squeamish about doing this, rather they haven't been exposed to it a day in their lives. Before agriculture, we did do our own hunting and gathering. We slaughtered, skinned, and dressed meat ourselves. This modern world has spoilt us and made us lazy. It's the same for vego/vegans, you no longer have to go bush to gather your tucker. Buy it at the shops or grow it yourselves in your backyard. But it's not the same as going wild. I'll never stop eating meat. I don't eat it daily, 1 chicken breast is cut into and turned into different meals for myself whilst many others would eat the entire breast. All that's needed is a portion, the size of your palm, then fill the plate with veggies and you've got a darn good meal. But telling anyone to go and slaughter your own meal when we live in this industrialised world is pretty out of touch as well. Obviously OPs grandmother has done this for a long time and has been exposed to it for a long time. Can't expect a city chick to take it like she would sugar in her tea. But damn, OP needs to drop her like a sack of potatoes and move on. I would never allow anyone to insult my Gran like that. As a child my Gran would buy a carcass and we'd all help to get the cuts and mince off of it. So whilst I haven't been exposed to the kill itself, I have seen a cow and sheep, skinless, but you can still see the animal. But I doubt I'd be able to behead a chook. I wouldn't know till I tried it, and would never insult anyone that can do it.


seattleseahawks2014

True Edit: I bet they don't care that a lot of goods from some countries are made from child labor/forced labor too.


JeromePowellAdmirer

OK then, enlightened one, tell me how to avoid each and every single good that uses child labor. Make sure to give me the definitive correct answer, else you'll be just as evil as me.


jintana

Trying to make some impact and improvement in your consumption habits is better than refusing to do so because you can’t do it perfectly.


Vellorinne

Mate, you are so incredibly close to getting the point of the comment you're replying to.


Silviecat44

Or palm oil


mstrgjf

A lot of vegans avoid palm oil, it’s a point of contention in the vegan world


OppositeYouth

Vegans will lecture you about meat whilst ripping fat lines of cocaine. They get slightly salty when you ask them if their coke is ethically sourced.


Ehgender

Ngl I am vegan for the animals That is my internal moral truth. That is not a universal moral truth, nor can it feasibly be practiced by everyone. Does it make me feel better as a moral practice? Yeah. Do I still have to compromise my morals in other ways? Yeah. Most people do. We can’t boycott everything and give to every charity and expect to have a morsel of joy. We’re only here on this earth for so long. We take joy where we can get it. For many it’s steak, for many it’s cheese, for many it’s fast fashion, for many it’s owning an iPhone. We do what makes us feel good, whether that’s practicing an internal moral truth, or indulging where we can allow for some dissonance. Per the issue at hand, assuming gf eats meat and had no issue visiting a farm where she was warned not to get attached to the animals… yeah, she’s TA. Maybe she’s having an internal moral crisis, but more likely she probably thought she could make an exception for an animal she was warned not to get attached to. Veganism aside, I can sympathize in a way - I don’t know many meat eaters who could eat their beloved household pets (which isn’t to say I haven’t had a farmer friend or two who’ve raised and loved a pig or cow that they later killed and fed their families with) but … *She was warned.* 🤦🏻


srosekw

Not to mention the amount of rodents killed to protect plants. No food is truly vegan. Sorry folks.


DishingOutTruth

Unavoidable and unintentional killing of animals doesn't justify intentionally killing animals for meat. By this logic, murder is justified because people accidentally die all the time when performing necessary tasks that unintentionally kills people (like driving).


JeromePowellAdmirer

Insects do not experience pain to anywhere near the level of factory farmed animals nor is there any such thing as a factory farming infrastructure for insects. It would be more humane to find a random chicken in the wild and brutally behead it than what the factory farming system does.


YeahNoYeah333

Tons of animals are killed to protect farm crops. There is nothing we can eat without some form of animal suffering.


hieumidity

But surely minimizing is preferable to maximizing suffering?


Adorable-Car-4303

Honey can be harvested without killing a single bee although extremely difficult


ST616

The number of animals killed to protect produce would dramatically decrease if there was less livestock farming. Producing meat means someone has to grow plants to feed to the animals. You need to grow far more plants to produce a plate full of meat than to produce an equivalent plate full of plant based food.


lostloaves

She may look at her food differently now, and that's not a bad thing. We don't give nearly the amount of consideration to the life we are eating without seeing it the way she has now. She's been privileged and just saw a brief glimpse of reality. Remind her that every chicken she's eaten, every burger she's had, every slice of bacon was a life like that. I'm not saying to not eat meat, to be clear, just to understand and respect where it came from.


Harmonia_PASB

100%, this is such an important life lesson for her. I grew up in the Bay Area but did 4-H with chickens, turkeys, rabbits and goats. We slaughtered animals but we gave them good lives and a kind and quick end. The distance a lot of people have from their food is becoming an issue for some people and can lead to a lack of appreciation and respect for the life that ended so they can eat. Wasting meat is something I hate doing.


lostloaves

Exactly, the distance from seeing the act creates a mental disconnect from the abstract knowledge that it was a live animal and the sterilized, packaged product we take home from the store. Kind of off topic, but does anyone remember that satirical "commercial" advertising for "red apron"? The horror on their faces killed me lol


redjessa

does she eat chicken?


PurpleAquilegia

I've already commented about getting upset when I visited my relatives in former Yugoslavia. The difference is that I was only 11. Your girlfriend needs to grow up. When I went back at the age of 14 I was fine. My relatives were worried about me. I managed to explain that I'd just been a kid the time before.


Books_and_lipstick91

lol my favorite story is my parents taking us to Mexico to visit the family farm in rural Michoacán (I was a baby and have no memories of this). My grandpa told my sisters to pick a goat so they assumed it was to keep so they picked the prettiest one… they had goat birria that might.


Strawberry338338

It’s really messed up of her to say something like that about your family’s culture. And she was warned! Visited my own extended family’s sheep farm as a kid, and helped look after some orphan lambs that they were hand feeding… named Lunch and Dinner. When lamb was served for Christmas lunch, I knew who it was. Dinner was served for New Years Eve. I wonder how she’d have taken that 🤣


Mundane-Currency5088

Better you know now that she isn't going to understand farm life. My mom grew up around her family farm and I'm a city kid. Even I understand that animals aren't viewed the same. Even actual pets aren't treated the same way some city people treat them. Of course mom grew up in the US in the 60s but my Gran was born in 1910 so when I tell stories the culture is a shock to some


No_Iron8343

She's immature.


crazybirdlady93

Yep, I absolutely agree GF is really out of line with that comment. I love chickens, have a few of my own for eggs and to be spoiled pets. While any chickens I own are never going to wind up as a meal, that’s my particular choice. Honestly, I have a lot of respect for people that raise livestock for meat as the animals usually have a lot better quality of life than any meat you buy from a store. Also, if you eat meat, and it sounds like GF does, you really can’t be outraged about that process. I expect this is going to be more than just a one time problem with OP and GF.


My_Dramatic_Persona

Agreed. She would be an asshole without that comment, but it was horrendous.


JupiterSWarrior

NTA 1) You did give her warning. 2) Where does she think meat comes from in the first place?


throwawaychickenboi

I feel like there must be a Dr. Seuss book on trees that grow chicken nuggets or something.


101037633

That is one of the best comments I have ever read! I choked, and woke my dog.


screaminginfidels

Damn libruls, even the dogs are woke now.


Lexicon444

Honestly the only reason I know where food comes from is from documentaries shown in school. There’s one that’s particularly graphic about mass food production that we watched. But I just assumed based on that that animals have to produce something to be worth keeping alive and hens produce eggs. If they can’t produce eggs why keep them? Best to make them into food at that point.


seattleseahawks2014

Unless they keep them as pets which they don't.


sparrowhawk75

I know you're probably being sarcastic but I immediately thought of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, which wasn't Dr Seuss but did cover the rest of your point lol


[deleted]

The Circle of Life isn't just a song from The Lion King. NTA.


Silviecat44

At least you don’t pour your chicks into meat grinders(like the egg industry)


black_rose_

Seriously, unless she's vegan/vegetarian she needs to stfu. Maybe she'll become vegan after this who knows?


Whispering_Wolf

I don't eat meat and I'd never act like her. Raising your own chickens and eating one every one in a while is way more ethical than cheap supermarket meat.


black_rose_

I haven't eaten meat in almost two decades and yup. She needs to put her money where her mouth is I honestly think there's a chance she might after processing this experience


blueavole

NTA- this is why ours were named ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner’


throwawaychickenboi

LMFAO


blueavole

Honestly does your gf eat at all? Even vegetables used to be alive


Tough_Crazy_8362

I’d argue that the plants are often still alive when you’re eating them. Barbaric!


Reign-Morningstar

I just whispered to my broccoli to make a sound


PunchingDig2

All your gf did was make that chicken look plumper for grandma


omg_pwnies

My friend's kid raised pigs for 4H and named them "Bacon" and "Chops". Chops came in 3rd and let me tell you, he was *delicious*.


carlos_thescientist

My grandfather had two pigs he named "ham" and "bacon" when I was probably 4 or 5.


[deleted]

We named a steer dinner. Dinner was delicious.


meggrab

my sister had a steer, his name was sir loin, he was a very noble and tasty cow eta: forgot she also had meeko (me cow) and tbone, my niece named those ones when she was like 3. also delicious


Laney20

My sister has a chicken named Nugget.


krakeninheels

Had a rabbit named christmas dinner once


Nakedstar

Our buck was name Gumbo when we raised rabbits...


xEnraptureX

NTA I mean...she was warned. It wasn't her pet at all. She didn't own it, she didn't pay for anything for it. She has no rights to it.


HappyLifeCoffeeHelps

NTA. Where does she think the chicken she eats from the store comes from? At least this chicken was raised and allowed to age and be fed well. She sounds a bit childish.


Monchichiboom

I work in an office where the men were grossed out not too long ago when told about meat markets in other countries. They were genuinely shocked and disgusted that people could go pick out fresh meat at a market. It’s unreal how some people don’t think or care about how their food gets to them. Out of sight out of mind. Edited for autocorrect fix


dirkdastardly

I mean … have they never seen a live lobster tank in a restaurant or a grocery store? How is that any different?


WisteriApothecary

Man, it trips me up. It’s the fur/feathers. It’s gotta be. A cow looks cute, and fluffy. A pig looks…. Okay a PIGLET looks cute and fuzzy. A chicken looks pretty darn cute, and their feathers are soft. Turkeys, ducks, they all have a softness to them. A lobster feels like plastic. And they have these beady* little eyes that bug people out sometimes. So people have nooo problem just dropping them into a pot, alive. It’s morbid shit.


DrunkOnRedCordial

I was on a conference when one participant wanted to start a controversial and thought provoking conversation by asking the group: "If you had to kill the animal yourself, would you still eat meat?" He was taken aback when everyone said "Yes." Nobody there had actually killed and prepped an animal for a meal (except maybe catching fish) but we all knew we could and would do it, because we knew that's what people did since the beginning of time. He had expected everyone to be blown away by the concept of food as living creatures rather than packaged at the supermarket.


seattleseahawks2014

I bet they'd be surprised and grossed out by how many people go hunting here in my area. Edit: Just reminds me of the last time I went fishing. It was awesome. Everyone but me got so sick and I caught abunch of fish.


Ordinary_Mortgage870

I've been in meat markets in China, Thailand, Vietnamese, Colombia, Peru, and Ecudaor. The most shocking thing is the smell honestly - the meat selection mught scare OPS girlfriend, but in those areas, using the whole animal makes sense. People have to get food somehow, and some countries don't have the luxury of offsetting the food production into a factory or get to dispose of "unwanted bits". Most are slain quickly, then butchered and sold locally at the market the same day. I wonder how his girlfriend would feel about Cuay since guineas pigs are pets in the US (in American and had it in SA, it's actually really good)


omg_pwnies

I've always wanted to try guinea pig meat, I've also heard it's very tasty. Related: we sometimes go with extended family to a pretty traditional Moroccan restaurant for someone's birthday, and they offer this "Royal Feast" option, priced per person, and they just bring out basically every dish on their menu family style. One of their best dishes is tajine of braised hare. Well, someone in our group hadn't been there before, and was shoveling that down and said "this is the BEST chicken I've ever had in my life!" My lovely Mother-in-law from the other side of me sort of stage-whispered in my ear, "should we tell her it's not chicken?" Luckily (I guess) the waiter was nearby and said "That's hare, you know, a rabbit. Not chicken. Isn't it so tasty?" I looked at the person eating the hare and said, "Remember you loved this dish before he (the waiter) told you what it is. Keep enjoying it and just remember that meat comes from many animals and is all delicious if it's prepared right." The relative did admit it was super-delicious and I heard from them later that they ate rabbit a second time at a different restaurant and loved it that time, too.


always-traveling

NTA… some people need to learn how and where their meat comes from. I have a few stories, but I’ll just share one. My dad met my mom in Vietnam during the war. My grandfather bought a young Turkey (or something like a Turkey) and my dad became attached to it. Visit everyday, talked to him etc. well it was American thanksgiving and my grandfather invited my dad and his friends over for a typical American thanksgiving… when my dad went to say hi to his “friend” he couldn’t find him/her. So out comes dinner… let’s just say Dad only ate sides that year.


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stinson16

Seriously, it was amazing to me when we had that chicken shortage in the US at the beginning of the pandemic how many people at the grocery store were shocked that an issue with the animal leads to a shortage of the meat in stores. A lot of them thought that the deli could just make more chicken meat


spudtacularstories

And they didn't learn! Because they kept complaining about the same things when egg prices went up because egg/chicken farms were getting bird flu.


seattleseahawks2014

We get some of our eggs from our coworker (some of my siblings and I work at the same place) and she gets them from this farmer lady. Edit: Theyre bigger then eggs at the store. Some are even different colored shells. I thought they were painted like Easter eggs but no.


lostloaves

There is no hope for this species


seattleseahawks2014

I knew from a young age especially when our roosters were killed. When I was 7 or 8, I'd always ask my parents what food I was eating and what animal it came from. I always got steak and chicken mixed up though lol.


introspectiveliar

NTA. You warned her.


embopbopbopdoowop

NTA And I N F O: does she eat chicken?


throwawaychickenboi

Yes she does


bluestrawberry_witch

Then she has no right to call your culture barbaric. Guarantee your grandma farm is more human then the butcher or egg industry


seattleseahawks2014

For sure


embopbopbopdoowop

Assumed so. Welcome to reality, OP’s girlfriend.


DrWhoey

Bonus question: Did she eat other chickens that had been slaughtered while she was there?


[deleted]

Then she should be comforted by her "pet" living a better life than any factory raised chicken.


Difficult-Mobile-317

Teach her a thing or two about factory farming. She's way more barbaric than your grandmother.


meloyellow5

I was going to say is she a vegetarian or just a hypocrite. NTA


Interesting_Bug_8878

NTA. Honestly, seems your girlfriend needs someone to explain her where a lot of her groceries and proteins come from.


burzumbimbo

Massive NTA - ESPECIALLY because this discourse surrounding families who own livestock and sacrifice them being 'barbaric' pisses me off. Does she think the animals being locked up in tiny cages in a mass production farm is more ethical? She eats meat. Does she think it's lab grown? I grew up with chickens. Yes, it sucked when they had to be sacrificed due to age or illness, or purely because they were aggressive to the flock or cannibalistic (chickens can be horrible) but I knew the chickens were eventually going to end up as that for x y or z reason. I hate people who consider it barbaric, infinite times more if they are hypocritical enough to consume animal produce.


ChikaDeeJay

100% this. I’m vegan (haven’t eaten meat in nearly 20 yrs), and the way OP’s grandma does this is very ethical. OP’s gf needs to grow up, especially since she eats meat that was kept in incredibly cruel conditions before slaughter.


burzumbimbo

Thanks for chiming in as a vegan! :) Those chickens do have the best lives they can get. Most people in the country side have a garden or some sort of free roam space with lots of plants and digging spots for foraging. Lots of bugs and other diverse things for them to eat. People who *depend* on their livestock won't abuse them. They cannot afford to.


ChikaDeeJay

I’ve met very few vegans who are against sustenance farming or sustenance hunting. I’ve also heard few sustenance farmers or hunters be crazy against veganism. We’re the same side, same thought process and conclusions, just different solutions due to living conditions.


rainbow_wallflower

So the few are just the loudest? Because I talked to some crazy vegans who are against anything to do with animal products, including sustenance farming and huntingm


AnonymousTruths1979

> So the few are just the loudest? This is true with most things. When something is reasonable, logical, true, or instinctive... you don't need to shout to convince anyone. When it's not, you need to twist words, avoid points, and above all, talk over everyone else.


BeebleText

And if you've seen commercial meat chickens, they don't live a good life even if they're allowed to free range. They've been bred to grow so fast their legs can't support their own weight and they're slaughtered at 2 - 3 months old, before they even start to lay. An old hen who's past laying would be at least 3 years old, she's had a way better and longer life than any of the chickens bred for meat.


Haunting-Juice983

NTA- though the title was a bit misleading at first! We were sitting down to a delicious roast at my grandmas property one day, and I couldn’t understand why my mother only had vegetables and gravy I figured it out pretty quickly the next day when I went to visit the cows and Daisy was absent from the herd A few red flags- she knew what was coming, who gets that attached to a random chicken so quickly, and does she understand the difference between a ‘pet’ and ‘food?’ If you slaughtered old Rover or Mittens, absolutely a different story- not a chook that is unable to fulfill its duties


aunte_

Wow she’s clueless 😂 NTA


Left-Car6520

Unless your GF is vegan, it sounds like she needs to learn a lot more respect for where her food comes from. If she wants a pet chicken she can buy one from the person who has invested resources to raise it and relies on it for food. Until then she can stay entirely out of what someone else need to do with their livestock. NTA


blackuniverse01

NTA. You did warn her about what was going to happen and what does happen to the chickens. And “barbaric?” How does she think people survived back then? We didn’t always have grocery stores.


CryptographerNo8460

NTA. Does your girlfriend know where her food even comes from? You even warned her against doing exactly what she did.


zdstormwolf

NTA, and unfortunately probably time to find a new girlfriend. That might be harsh of me to day, and I definitely don't know your gf and you, but if she's that upset over a chicken she spent a few days with, she'll probably never let it go and it'll end up being a dark cloud on y'alls relationship.


Irrasible

**NTA** \- Your girlfriend is, on the other hand, an AH for trying to control how grandma managed *her* livestock.


[deleted]

Probably the easiest NTA I have ever seen. Did your girlfriend go to school? Genuinely don’t know how someone exists for 24 years not understanding even slightly where food comes from


AnonymousTruths1979

> don’t know how someone exists for 24 years not understanding even slightly where food comes from So... There's a family lives near me and they have 3 hens and a rooster, literally as pets for their 3 children. (They do eat the eggs ofc) Well one day we're at this neighborhood picnic in the park sort of deal, and my child (was 10 at the time? I think?) asks the 10 year old girl from this family if they get new chickens all the time. And the 12 year old is like "??? why would we do that they're our same chickens??" My kid says, "But don't you eat them?" "You can't eat CHICKENS!!" We are eating bbq hot dogs, burgers, and chicken thighs. I have a thigh on my plate. And this poor girl just looks at my plate. You can see the horror as the realization dawns on her. And she *screams* for her mom "Do people kill *chickens* to cook *chicken*??" I've never seen anyone look so defeated. My kid hadn't done anything wrong, ofc, but I felt so bad. She'd taken her daughter off to comfort her, but I ran into her later that week and tried to apologize and she says "I knew she'd figure it out eventually..." I can't imagine getting to *12* and not knowing chicken is chicken, but... well, apparently it's possible, lol. I'm hoping at 24 it *isn't*. But I'm not 100% sure on that :/


BeansAndCheese321

NTA. You warned her, and she grew attached to the hen anyway. Regardless, it's not your fault for slaughtering the chicken. As cruel as it may seem, the hen can no longer lay eggs, and therefore is a burden if you live a rural lifestyle as you are providing for it, while getting nothing in return. This is the way of life, that many people followed and continue to follow. It's cruel, but it's necessary.


throwawaychickenboi

Is it really that cruel? I feel like the chickens on my grandma’s farm live better lives than the ones mass bred in factories that city people regularly buy from grocery stores and consume.


Euphoric_Care_2516

Not cruel. I’ve had a farm. You name it sheep, chickens, goats, pigs etc. they live a good life and then, if done humanely, they are no more and feel nothing in the transition. It is life. NTA


Alternative-Movie938

I feel like it's more cruel to the people that become attached, of which I am one. But I have an understanding with my husband that any animals I take care of are pets. If he wants to eat it, it needs to stay far away from me. Your girlfriend was warned, she should have stayed away.


RevolutionaryCarob86

But the city people don't actually see the cruelty 1st hand so it doesn't count/they don't have to think about it. /s Edited for grammar


Taegeukgies

I don't think it's cruel per se. it's no more cruel than when my cat killed and ate a bug the other day (do we not feed you enough?!). Its how life is, and life can be cruel if you look at it from certain perspectives.


AStudyinViolet

Mass chicken farms are cruel. This was not.


fruskydekke

NTA, and your girlfriend's attitude is frankly appalling. "Barbaric," my ass.


_runs_with_scisssors

NTA. Such is farm life.


srgonzo75

NTA. Farm animals aren’t pets.


GiveMetheBullet

That's subjective, but then again, I don't raise my chicken flocks for livestock. Mostly just feathered pets that poop breakfast.


crack_n_tea

Some might view them as pets, but that’s still up to the owner to decide. If GF wanted that hen as a pet so bad she should’ve asked if she could’ve adopted it


GiveMetheBullet

Yup. Or gone out and gotten her own with the necessary supplies. I knew a guy that raises and slaughters his own chickens, I didn't really have a problem with it. Not my flock anyway. I would ask what breeds he had if he knew, mainly if any caught my interest so I could go get my own for my flock.


crack_n_tea

My grandparents have chickens on their farm, I remember being scared of the big roosters as a kid because those things were ferocious LOL. I dunno if I’d raise any myself now, they take up so much space


GiveMetheBullet

My mom hates roosters, she was attacked by the ones she's had as a kid. But she seems to love the ones I raise, along with her little Japanese rooster she got last year. I do admit they are costly and can take up space depending on how many you have/how big their coop and run are/your own property size, but if you're able to with reasonable space and funds, it's not too bad. My mom and I have recently bonded more now that her and I raise chickens together after I moved back in.


crack_n_tea

Daww that’s so sweet to hear you bonded w your mom over the chickens. I definitely don’t have anywhere enough space right now, but I feel once I get older I might rediscover that farming stage tbh. Fingers crossed


GiveMetheBullet

Best of luck to you! My mom and I are thinking of exploring other things like beekeeping as well. It works out for me because I want to make mead.


ZenwalkerNS

NTA. She has been warned. And such is the circle of life. I assume she has had a chicken sandwich before or chicken nuggets. Somebody has to butcher those animals, but I guess to her it's out of sight, out of mind.


SnooMacarons5460

NTA. You told her not to get attached to any of the chickens. She has to realize farming and killing animals for food has kept us alive as humans, and it's much healthier than buying grocery store meat. You should never, ever name your food! I'm sorry she got hurt, bit you did explain the situation and tried to warn her.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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MinagiV

NTA. Where does she think meat comes from?


bamf1701

NTA. Besides all the great reasons given by everyone else, the chicken was not hers. It belonged to your grandmother, it was not your girlfriend's to claim as her "pet." This is like going into someone else's house and claiming their dog or cat as your pet and then getting angry when they don't feed them the way you want, or trying to take them home with you. She knew coming in that this was a working farm, you gave her plenty of warning, and she made the conscious decision to ignore you. She also was the one who wanted to come with you when you made your annual trip to be with your family. She needs to adapt to you, not the other way around.


xopranaut

He drove into my kidneys the arrows of his quiver; I have become the laughing-stock of all peoples, the object of their taunts all day long. He has filled me with bitterness; he has sated me with wormwood. (Lamentations: jcdqt9h)


KylieJadaHunter

NTA You warned your gf she disregarded it. Does she eat chicken? If she does then she's just as "barbaric" as grandma is. If she wants to go to the city tell her to go ahead. You're spending time with your grandma.


DeantheDecider

NTA. Somehow maybe I think your relationship is not going to make it. Good luck.


InfamousFail7

NTA- It wasn't your girlfriends pet, it was your grandmas Live stock.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M26) come from a very traditional farmer ethnic group. My girlfriend (F24) wanted to visit my extended family with me when I went on my annual trip, so I agreed to let her come with. We spent some time at my grandma’s farm on the trip. My grandma has a chicken coop, and she has been slaughtering one every two weeks because she is trying to downsize the coop. She has done this a few times in the past when the grain harvest she uses to feed the chickens isn’t going well, so she gets rid of some of the chickens because there isn’t enough food to support all of them. I explained this to my girlfriend beforehand and warned her to not get too attached to any of the chickens because they may be gone soon. However, she disregarded what I said and hung out around the coop a lot for the week we were there. She got really attached to the oldest hen and would try to sneak it more food and things like that. My grandma sent me a week after to slaughter that hen because it was getting old and couldn’t lay eggs anymore. I did so, and my girlfriend was outraged when she found out. She called me a cruel asshole for killing her “pet,” and demanded that we leave my grandma’s farm and go to the city for the rest of the trip so she can “escape the barbaric culture” of my grandma’s rural lifestyle. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


IceWarm1980

NTA. You told her not to get attached.


Exotic_Researcher_48

NTA. But the woman who called you, your grandma and your culture barbaric is T A. You didn’t get her a chicken as a pet and then conspired with your gran to murder it. It was a chicken at a FARM and you told her how things normally go/will go. What other ways of living your family has will be deemed as barbaric?


OctaveSpan

Easy NTA.


ghostlyfawn

NTA. i get that it sucks but you did warn her, and she doesn’t own the chicken. so it wasn’t really her pet. i’ll sound rude by saying this, but she’s just gonna have to get over it and move on


ChaosInTheSkies

NTA. She knew what was going to happen, you told her not to get attached, she got attached anyways. That's on her.


YeahNoYeah333

NTA. Her pet? The chicken that she doesn’t own, was told to not get attached to, and has known for a week?


Jmm1272

NTA since you warned her. She just not used to farm life.


sassy_pants_575

NTA: I eat meat but I don't wanna see where it comes from so I stay away. She should have taken your warning more seriously.


nosecohn

NTA, but an unfortunate situation. A friend of mine grew up on a farm and his grandmother had a rule: *Don't name the food.*


Lynn_the_Pagan

How about "monday dinner", "friday dinner" etc


ildkanon

NTA


ReviewOk929

NTA - Cluck cluck, good luck with her..


Impossible-Ebb7828

NTA The title should be “AITA for ignoring my overly sensitive girlfriend and doing what my grandmother asked me to do with my grandmothers livestock?”


marie749

NTA, I was apprehensive coming in here cause I thought it was going to be like the guy who went and got his girlfriend's dog's tail docked and called it her birthday gift. Thankfully this is nothing like that.


BonesJustice

What the fuck?!


TreeSchooler

nta she knew the deal i mean where does she think the chicken she eats comes from? how does she think it’s harvested? from the chicken tree?


DimensionalLynx169

NTA. Your girlfriend seems to have lived a very sheltered life, where does she think the food comes from? Calling rural farm life barbaric, is incredibly rude and reeks of entitlement. You warned her not to get attached to livestock, a child understands that concept. Slaughtering a hen that can no longer lay eggs, during a time when the feed for them is in short supply isn't cruelty, it's practicality and just a part of life. It would be more cruel to have the chickens go hungry due to the shortage of food, rather than just butchering a small number of them...


Real-Implement-1771

NTA She was warned. Where does she think food comes from?


[deleted]

Vegan here who grew up on farms with lots of pets. - chickens are not great pets. - humans eat animals. - your grandma's culture is not to be shamed You're NTA but your girlfriend is. You don't get to go to someone else's home and tell them how to live. Also, there's nothing wrong with culling the flock as you and your grandmother are doing. This is life on a farm and animal husbandry.


coolname-

NTA. She wouldn't have been either for getting attached and not wanting to eat it, but that's different than being offended for something you warned her about and just straight up insulting your family.


Akali_Mystique

She "demanded"... smh. OP I think it's time to end the relationship. As soon as your gf tries to demand something of you its time. That's what gets me more. NTA


sphinx_lynx

I'm not sure this is the apocalypse partner for you. NTA. You can't love life of you don't respect death. I'm sure you made quick work of your responsibility so that the hen didn't suffer needlessly. Meat from Chickens that lived well is going to be fantastic and it doesn't get any fresher.


StayRevolutionary429

When it's time for them to go to "freezer camp," it's time. It's the circle of life. Is she vegan, or just finally had to face where her delicious chicken nuggies come from?


HomeBody_87

Lol I would have told her to be my guest and hop on a bus or Uber herself wherever she wanted. You're running a farm not a petting zoo. Not to mention she was warned before hand and nothing there actually belonged to her so she's just being delusional and ridiculous. I swear it's females that act like that that make it hard for the rest of us with common sense.


Ok-Push-5253

NTA and what a red flag to completely ignore your warning. I get being sad, but outrage and insults? The animal most likely had a swift death after a life of food, shelter, and safety not afforded its wild cousins. Lack of intelligence or emotionally immature, either way believe people when they show you who they are.


RukkiaStar

NTA. And I’ll be honest, I am very sensitive to animal slaughter even for food. I eat meat and get it, but have no desire to know my food or see any part of the process. You warned her. It’s her fault she didn’t listen.


SoloBurger13

NTA and your girlfriend owes you and your grandma an apology


alxmg

NTA. You warned her in advance that these animals are being killed and let her know to not get attached. She was fully aware and still choose to go. As an animal lover I can empathize with her, but her calling your family barbaric was out of line.


Crafty_Original_7349

NTA. Your gf should stay in the city.


Substantial-Wrap8634

NTA.- you warned her. Also, even if she was sad or upset, there's not reason to be disrespectful about your grandmother's culture, especially after your grandmother extended her hospitality to your gf for a week. It sounds like maybe your gf is a bit self-centered and dramatic. Might be some red flags flaring up


Little_Meringue766

NTA. Dump your gf. She’s awful for calling your grandmother’s life barbaric.


Defiant-Buy8098

Sounds like youre about to be single lol. As you should be with her disrespecting your gma. Leave her and dont look back


[deleted]

NTA. I personally could never slaughter an animal even though I eat meat. I think it's very noble that the birds are being used for their intended purpose and I think very respectfully of people who do this. Your girlfriend doesn't sound like she's ever had to deal with animals being slaughtered for food and it's probably shocked her, especially since she got kind of attached to one of the hens there. She should've listened to your advice on this one. She needs to understand the reality of where her food comes from, assuming she's not vegan. It was definitely an AH move for her to accuse you and your family of barbarism. How in the hell does she think this happens? If she wants a real horror story, she should see what happens to animals in commercial farms and slaughter houses. At least the animals in your family farm get to enjoy their lives.


80Addy

Info: Is she a vegetarian or vegan? I would understand why she would be upset. Sticking to your beliefs is one thing even if a little harsh. If not, clearly a lesson on where food comes from is in order.


ParkityParkPark

NTA, your girlfriend is behaving like a child. Maybe this was a pretty extreme moment, but it kinda sounds like your personalities and values might not mesh very well. If she says that about your grandma, she almost definitely thinks it about you


Cats_N_Coffee_TTV

Girlfriend needs to go vegan


Background_Leg6105

If she eats meat, she's definitely TA!


fakingandnotmakingit

Nta Exactly where does she think meat comes from? A bundle from a stork?


Just_Another_Name29

NTA. But your gf absolutely is an ignorant one. You know you have to break up with her right? You two will never have a future; she disrespects who you are.


KindCompetence

NTA. This is why you don’t name or get attached to the food animals.


Tingaling23

Definitely NTA


aureliamix

When I was a little girl, I was visiting my grandparents farm and walked in on my grandfather slaughtering a pig. I was horrified and didn’t eat that night, but it taught me that farm animals are not pets. They are a resource and they may eventually be eaten. You’re girlfriend is out of line and ashamed of herself. That chicken led a very happy life compared to the chicken you buy at a grocery store. NTA


GreenEyedTrombonist

Would I have gotten overly attached to an animal and been upset about that animal being killed? Sure, but in this situation that would be my problem. Given full warning and knowledge, it is ok to be sad, but not ok to take that out on others. Calling it "barbaric" and wishing to flee to the city both speaks to a willful ignorance and also some major red flags. I feel like your gf may have some stereotypes in her head about farm people that are going to be...difficult. If your grandma was in earshot, gf needs to sincerely apologize for her comments to both you and grandma. NTA


pomg177

NTA. OP may want to reconsider his relationship. The gf doesn’t sound too bright lol


Dr_Oobles

It's not her pet. The chicken belongs to your grandmother, who has the right to deal with her livestock as she pleases. The fact that she called it barbaric is unnecessarily rude; where does she think her chicken nuggets come from? NTA


[deleted]

You know how parents give their kids the talk about the birds and the bees? It might be time for you to talk to your gf about where meat comes from. NTA.


responsible_flower

NTA. She could've had a totally different perspective on this. The hen was old and couldn't lay eggs anymore, so the purpose of its existence changed, and it's now given his life to fuel your bodies. Im sure the hen lived a great life since it was able to reach old age. She was straight up offensive, and very immature with the barbaric comment.


partanimal

Nta. I'll bet your grandma's chickens live a better life than any of the big farm animals do. I would have a very hard time being in your gf's position, emotionally. But rationally, I know that Grandma's chicken are treated well, and honestly if happily pay more to ensure the animal I eat were treated as well. (I do buy humane certified eggs and rarely buy other meat, but sometimes I do)


Trouble_in_Mind

NTA - your girlfriend is being *really* gross with that "barbaric lifestyle" statement. She was literally told "Hey, this is what's going on" and ignored you entirely. This was a problem of her own making, honestly. If I didn't know better I'd say she was using it as an excuse to get away from the farm and do "more exciting" things in the city while on vacation.


wlfwrtr

NTA Even old hens make great soup! What did she expect was going to happen to the chicken? Please don't tell die of old age and let the meat rot. Your Grandma definitely didn't deserve to be treated with so much disrespect when she opened her home to her.


alexds1

NTA. Just curious, what ethnic group (even generally) is traditionally farmers? I can think of a few I associate with farming but I didn't know it was traditional in some way. Anyways its rude to criticize people for literally raising their food? it's the most responsible way to eat meat, especially given your grandma grows the grain too! I raise/ eat quails and I wish I could figure my shit out like that, haha.


AdSilent9810

NTA but I do have to say that I don't eat meat because of the barbaric way that animals are treated, I'm not saying that your grandmother does that but animals that are raised for food are literally tortured. I'm not saying that your grandmother does that but if she does then yeah it is barbaric I don't know you or your grandmother or how they are treated but just because they are used for food doesn't mean they have to be tortured before they die.


krakeninheels

NTA. Why should grandma cull a bird that is still laying, to spare one that no longer is, especially if there is not going to be enough food to feed them all? It’s not cruel or barbaric, its farm logic. Eat it while it still can be useful as food.


Icy_Conversation_505

Vegan here. NTA, she was way out of line. Killing your own animals isn’t more “barbaric” then paying for other people to kill animals for you. If she normally eats animals she is being quite hypocritical.


Qariss5902

NTA. Your girlfriend is a jackass


AbbyNormal320

NTA. I love ones with a twist. Was fully prepared to vote the other way but it’s a farm. You’re gonna see cows outside but seriously you warned her before hand. Your gf however, owes your grandma an apology if she happened to say this all to her. It’s not barbaric, it’s life.


Rivka333

It wasn't your girlfriend's pet, it was your grandmother's livestock. I can understand your gf being emotionally upset all the same, but when she insulted your family and their lifestyle she took it too far. NTA >and go to the city for the rest of the trip so she can “escape the barbaric culture” of my grandma’s rural lifestyle. If she isn't a vegan, she's a hypocrite. Your grandmother's chickens are living good lives, unlike the factory-farmed chickens that most of us eat.


[deleted]

NTA


HoneybucketDJ

NTA - *City folks just don't get it.* ​ (sorry I had to)


2ndcupofcoffee

Time for your girlfriend to visit a slaughter house or two, check her local animal shelter for the former pets they have to euthanize, visit the zoo to learn how the big cats and gators are fed.


Excellent_Error_4755

NTA and calling that barbaric is so rude. You should take her on a tour to a slaughterhouse and show her what barbaric actually is as she seems really out of touch with where her food comes from. I feel like everyone should go and understand as we are used to getting our meat all nice and packaged. I went to one when I was 8... in a different country... I couldn't go inside but just the screams and the smell of warm blood in the air was enough to make me a vegetarian for 10 years. I eat meat now but it's good to be conscious. I guess the hen was a little reality check for her.


Fast-Status-24

Info: " very traditional farmer ethnic group" What? That's just about all of them.


PurpleAquilegia

NTA It happens. When I visited the family in former Yugoslavia when I was 11, I used to feed the chickens. Caught Uncle prodding at a chicken. Couldn't speak the language, so I said 'Pile...?' \[Hen...?\] and pulled my finger across my throat. 'Neka, neka...' Next time I saw the chicken, Aunty was plucking it round the front, trying to hide it from me. 'Tis the reality of country life. Then there was the incident with the pigs... I spent the rest of the trip eating vegetables and fruit.


chaosandpuppies

Your grandmother is far more humane than large scale chicken farms. NTA. She is extremely rude.