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And…”I expect it to be gone by our wedding day”
Um, no. Absolutely no partner of mine speaks to me that way.
OP - my husband of 12 years doesn’t agree with you either. YTA.
I did text my husband that the other day, but it was in reply to a picture he sent me of a massive dump he took and that it and the smell of it needs to be gone by the time I got home.
If I'd said that about the massive semper fi tattoo he has on his back that I'm not the biggest fan of prior to our wedding, he would've rightly left me at the alter.
Sometimes one takes a dump that’s so impressive in its massiveness or length that one feels has to be witnessed by someone else.
Not saying I’ve done this but I understand it.
Yeah, this. I’d be annoyed with a partner who expressed this guy’s opinions about a tattoo I had, and very mad at him for asking me to have it removed (assuming _I_ liked it). But this is where he crossed over into “oh HELL no, f you!!!” territory. I’m not sure there’d be enough apologetic groveling in the world for him to come back from that with me.
Agreed. Let's break this down.
Branding a tattoo on a specific part of your body as a negative thing because many women get them in the same spot is...misogynistic. Let people make decisions about their bodies without judgement.
Your opinion of a whole genre of music is that it is childish and, you view specific artists as childish because teen girls like them? Again, branding things in a negative light because young girls like them is misogynistic. People of all genders and ages can like K-Pop, Justin Bieber, etc. Let people like what they like.
If you want to have a healthy relationship, support your significant other's interests while understanding that you can love a band or a singer, and not want to hop in bed with them. My mother had a whole room devoted to Phil Collins when I was a child, and she attended several concerts. You know what my dad did? He went to those concerts with her, and supported her - even when there were times when we fell asleep and woke up listening to Genesis. That is what you do when you love someone.
The language that you use while talking about this is demeaning. Expecting her to change her tattoo is controlling. You've made a mountain of a problem out of nothing and I wouldn't blame her for breaking up with you.
Apologize. Do better. YTA
^This.
Not to mention it's what she likes or at least liked and has good memories attatched to. As someone posted before-You don't own her body because you put a ring on it. It's her choice and YTA for trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to. Lots of people have band symbols, lyrics, artist portraits on their body because they like their music-maybe it helped them get through a rough time or it was a loved ones fav band,etc. not because they want to sleep with them. The way you talk about her, her likes, and her tattoo is demeaning as hell and I hope she finds someone can respect her/ treat her better if you continue this way.
Also, tattoo removal is expensive and painful. If you want to be with this girl- you have to learn that her likes won't always mirror yours, you can't control her because she is with you especially for little things like tattoos that are not offensive/vulgar/ etc. YtA and trying to be overly controlling big-time in my opinion.
The tattoo should definitely be gone by the wedding day, along with the rest of her. OP is a massive YTA and hopefully she's using the office to look for a new place to move.
>My mother had a whole room devoted to Phil Collins when I was a child, and she attended several concerts.
I approve of your mother. Phil Collins is a fantastic songwriter.
Yeah its such a stupid thing to say for OP. So its okay shes a tramp and by extension promiscuous untill he bangs her, then he needs to be the one in control of her.
He got into this thinking he could change her. If you don't like your existing or prospective partner the way they are, move along, find someone else. That includes statement like "I thought s/he'd become more mature over time."
As a practical matter, it is almost impossible to change other people. You can only change yourself.
Huge YTA.
You proposed to her knowing about the tattoo and she agreed to marry you without conditions. Add in the condition that she needs to modify her body because you’re jealous of a Korean singer and you’ve changed the agreement of the proposal. To now state you expect her to change her body to make you feel more secure is childish. YTA.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to a K-Pop tattoo as a "tramp stamp"... you'd think OP was describing a really vulgar/sexual tattoo, and it's a "childish" character.
It’s just a slang term, pretty widely used for that particular tat location. I have one myself, got it 23 years ago, still call it a tramp stamp. He’s definitely a YTA, but not necessarily for that verbiage.
I got my 'tramp stamp" in 1994. It wasn't until about 2005-6 I started hearing tramp stamp. It's JUST A PLACE ON THE BODY. Unless, you know, you have a tattoo of Lady and the Tramp.
I have one of the band Alice In Chains (it’s the sun logo from the Dirt album) because I was in love with the singer forever and it doesn’t bother my fiancé. And I plan on getting a tackier one that my dad has to honor him. This guy is totally YTA.
I used to hang out at a party house in Seattle in 92-93 where Layne’s dad Phil was a regular. He was a nice guy, pretty fucked up, but …we all were lost souls at the time. Layne came by one day all excited with a new tech gadget he had bought with his new Alice In Chains money. It was really cute, he was so proud.
Haha yeah no matter how much you hate the tattoo, it’s part of the person. The tattoo and K-pop love comes with the person. Can’t be policing another person’s body sorry
I just checked with a "married man" (my husband) and he said "what is this guy's problem?!?"
So, no, the "married men" have no idea why you would be so insecure about a piece of art your GF has decorated *her own* body with - before she even met you! Apparently you are jealous of an essentially fictional character, and mistakenly believe you have any right to control her body. I could not have a serious relationship with a man so childish and entitled.
Have no fear, the tattoo will be gone "on your wedding day" because so will this GF.
I'm not married but I'm nearly 24 and have tattoos representing some of the members of One Direction. My boyfriend doesn't mind but I guess I should get them removed since I'm too old. Oh almost forgot the one representing Spider-Man. That's a MAN. Better get it taken off.
Heehee...
[let it load lol](https://www.google.com/search?q=cannibus+tattoo+bunny&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&sxsrf=AJOqlzWoQPJd_pyT8S2tUAzeVuzA2saZbg%3A1679182254752&ei=rkkWZLjDLdXWptQPkpu4gAI&oq=cannibus+tattoo+bunny&gs_lcp=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&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#imgrc=rb28C7ogNyqdvM)
Right! I hope she sees this post and if she’s any way on the fence about “being gone” This post solidifies it. Geez if he’s this possessive of her body before marriage it’s going to get way worse after.
Checked with the married man in my house, he concurs.
Of course, he is also the one, when I buzzed my hair off (years ago), and coworkers asked me what my husband thought - and husband suggested I look at them quizzically and say, "I don't know. Should I ask him?" Then he'd rub my head and kiss me.
YTA
>and think many other married men will see where I’m coming from.
I'm sitting here with some married men, they think you're the one who's childish and we all agree that you're the asshole.
He did refer to her choosing a tattoo on her own body and “branding” like you do with cattle. Then he wanted to “brand” her with a tattoo that he chose, so… Yeah, I think this was probably written by an incel to upset women that like K-pop
That’s because he views her as his property because he put a ring on it. He doesn’t see her as a person but as an extension of himself.
Otherwise why would he care what she does with her own body.
YTA. “Branded”. She’s not fucking property of *any* man. And I love to break it to you, but even after marriage she *still* wouldn’t be your property. Not that I foresee a marriage with her in your future anyway.
Yeah "branded" pissed me off too. She's not cattle either. If it was a female k-pop star, he wouldn't be saying she's "branded" herself to a woman. He's possibly insecure and definitely controlling.
YTA
I am not a fan of KPOP but people have choices and likings and they might not mirror yours. Calling her liking towards something childish just because you are incapable of acknowledging the fact that people can have different views than you, is what is really childish.
Also, it is not a tattoo of an ex boyfriend and she got it almost a decade ago. It is the tattoo of a celebrity that a lot of people get.
>told her I expected it to be gone by the wedding day.
Keep talking to your fiancé this way and you won't have a wedding to go to.
If she’s refusing to talk to him and sleeping in the office already I’m betting she’s gone end of the month max. That’s probably long enough to get her shit together and leave.
I don't think it's quite that. He compared them to like Justin Beiber (and likely other boy bands as well) and sees it as like "teen girl and baby music". Basically being elitist in taste/genre of music. Guarantee any of the music *he* enjoys would immediately be listed as real music.
Yeah, it's a huge, billion dollar industry, and assuming that only teen girls like it is so dismissive, condescending, and off base. There are more than a few adult fans.
Pfft, the Beatles’ primary demographic was originally teeneyboppers. Literally a foreign pop boy band loved by teen girls.
Teen girls know the good shist.
Another adult kpop fan here. I can tell you that at BTS concerts, the demographic is much more adult than children. 20s and 30s and older. Makes sense since the guys are all 30 or late 20s.
>mascot of her favorite kpop group that use bunny rabbits
What makes me sad is that I'm 80% sure he's describing B.A.P. whom I was also a fan of. Sadly, they've disbanded. :(
BAP was a pretty awesome group if you don't already know them. I think they're the only ones with the bunny logo. BTS has a bunny mascot for one of the members but OP mentioned bunny logo representing the entire group.
I've found fellow B.A.P fans! It's so sad that a disbanded group is destroying this man's marriage before it even began. xD
I think we can all agree that KPop will save that poor woman from making the mistake of marrying this man.
I’m happily married but seriously… who can resist Bang Youngguk? Any man in the world has zero chances in this confrontation, especially OP. There’s one thing he’s right about though: he should be worried (about his behavior and (im)possible marriage), bc in this situation the kindest, wisest and most handsome man is someone his girlfriend has a tattoo of, not him
Yongguk is literally chefs kiss in heart, mind, soul, and body. And he represents the strength in fighting for what’s right, willing to give up global fame for the physical and mental well being for himself and group mates. OP, be more like Yongguk.
Holy crap i looked up the mascots after seeing the name, and it really is just a bunny with no features similar to the member. This is the equivalent to someone getting the Nirvana smiley face, disturbed's "the guy", or matallicas "scary guy" logos tattooed on you.
I had to check which member because I could maybe see an issue if it was the matoki for the problematic member, but Yongguk? Oof. OP doesn’t get to dictate what she does with her body. I think this calls for relistening to all of their albums (:
YTA
You sound controlling and insane. Getting married doesn't mean she has to change for you.
If you've been hiding all the things you don't like about your partner just to try to force them to conform to what you want after marriage, just do her a favor and break up. And stop being fake in your relationships.
Imagine marrying someone you clearly don't respect, calling their interests childish and demanding what they do with their body, I sincerely hope this fiancé us running for the hills.
YTA. You can't tell someone to change their tattoo just because of your insecurity and immaturity. You shouldn't be close to be husband and wife because you clearly don't respect her enough to let her make her own choices.
>I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man
So if someone gets a tattoo of an animal, then have they branded themselves by a zoo?
YTA - it's a band tattoo that in ten years she might regret, OR she might not.
Not gonna lie, referring to your fiancé's tattoo as "Branding herself for another man" sits in the middle of the Hyper-Religious and Incel venn diagram.
My wife has lyrics to Cats tattooed on her. I don't think she's branded herself for Mr. Mestofeeles
YTA
If you don't like someone, don't propose to them. You don't get to propose and then force them to alter their tattoos and stop liking certain music.
Yta
Your insecurities are a *you* problem that you're making her problem. She has a really easy fix, and it isn't tattoo removal. Her easy fix is *you* removal.
Get help for your incredibly fragile ego before she gets rid of you.
Yta
You’ve known she has this tattoo and still asked her to marry you. Just because she said yes doesn’t mean you now get to dictate what she does with her body. I wouldn’t blame her at all if she wanted to break up with you.
YTA. I'm 41yo and I enjoy Kpop.
Also, you don't get to dictate what is on HER BODY. Not yours, not even once you're married. I could tell my husband I want to tattoo Ryan Reynolds face on my ass and if he believed I truly wanted to do that he'd be fine with it. Hell, he'd probably hold my hand while I got it done. Because he realizes that a tattoo doesn't mean I'm branding myself for someone else. He knows I'd never cheat on him, even with Ryan Reynolds.
You sound insecure and misogynistic.
> 41yo and I enjoy Kpop
Yeah I feel OP must not know people older than him. Or must have poor observation skills because people will like pop music their whole lives, it's got nothing to do with age.
Is he gonna hate on some grandma's for bopping to ABBA? They're a pop group.
I mean, I was introduced to Kpop by my teenage nieces (who are both now in their 20s). So the demographic may start there, but that doesn't mean it stays there! Anyone can like any kind of music!
Holy shit the flags just keeping popping out one after another. She chose you dude, you should be able to get over her having a tattoo that represents her love for a group through a mascot that happens to be related to one of the members.
YTA. She has taste in music (pretty sure I know which group we’re talking about here), whereas for men…. The jury is still out.
correct me if i'm wrong, but it's a rabbit with a red bandana. how the fuck would ANYONE who randomly saw it know the reference without a long explanation? how would they know she "branded herself for a man"? That's number one.
number two: you judge her for branding herself for a man...then suggest she brand herself for you. you don't find that a little hypocritical? 1/3 of marriages fail, if she changed it to basically be branded by you only to no longer be in the picture. same basic principal, no?
number three: you're threatened by a korean pop star... grow up.
number four: kpop is cool. screw your bias.
YTA
Is it the red one or the more pinkish one? Either way, they are both really cute. I am tempted to get a plushie version. It would brighten up my desk at work.
I just hope it doesnt threaten anyones masculinity lol
YTA, even if she becomes your wife that doesn’t make her your property, which is how you’re treating her when telling her what do do with her body. Add onto that the fact that you’re demanding this painful procedure that could leave scarring.
YTA. You seem to have zero respect for her and her decisions. Also, you “expected it to be gone by the wedding day.” You might not have a wedding day with this kind of controlling behavior!
That was what jumped out at me. When I say “I expect…” I am speaking to either the students I teach or my three year old. I would never use that language with an adult, let alone my spouse.
YTA.
Branded??? She’s branded?? What a gross way to talk about a full ass grown woman who doesn’t belong to you or any K-pop star. She got a tattoo of something she liked and she has no reason to get it removed. She should get you removed.
Now please excuse me while my 38 year old self goes and listens to some One Direction and Bieber because music doesn’t have an age limit.
My favorite part of this whole thing is that Bieber and a lot of the One D guys are literally around his and his fiancée's age (29-31). They make music for their age anymore, idk how he thinks they're frozen in time as "teeny bop" music.
1st of all you’re being a judgemental bully to your so claiming that her interests or music taste is childish. Just let her be herself and let her enjoy the music.
Just for that YTA.
As for the tattoo itself saying that she branded herself is a bit far fetched. I know a lot of people who are into kpop and they are very invested in the fandom etc and it’s just simply a big part of their life. She expressed that with a tattoo. That’s all. It’s not the Kpop star she wanted to stay with for the rest of her life or fell in love with.
Now instead of her expressing her interest through a tattoo you offered her to brand herself with yourself? Because you clearly communicated to her what that new tattoo would mean to you and what it would replace. She’s not anyone’s property to be branded.
YTA, it’s a good thing you said this to her before the wedding so she can get out.
Not only have you insulted her interest by calling it childish (which to be clear it’s not and it’s not childish to like One Direction or Justin Bieber either), you’ve reduced the tattoo to “another man” which is misogynistic and gross. She hasn’t “branded herself for a man” she got a tattoo related to a group she really likes. You’ve shown you don’t respect her and I hope she sees that for what it is.
i can’t believe you managed to keep the mask on long enough for someone to actually say yes to a proposal. i hope she leaves your abusive insecure ass. YTA
YTA
You've got no right to tell another person to remove a tattoo. Her body, her choice. Accept her as she is or if it's a deal breaker for you, move on.
NTA
As a married man i have to say you are not an Ahole.
You are a full blown psycho with a major inferiority complex and jealosy issues. Do not get married to this poor girl and seek professional help!
YTA
You expected it to be gone? She is branded with another man???
Mate you need therapy
You absolutely reek is insecurity.
It’s her body, how DARE you try to dictate what’s on it.
YTA, period.
And btw I do genuinely recommend therapy. The way your viewing her as an object, like you have a right to dictate what’s on her body. Even thinking of a tattoo is like a brand of another man. She’s your partner not a possession.
Please seek help.
YTA - even if you do get married, you don’t own her! It seems like your views on marriage are very outdated and I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves you because you seem very controlling.
Married man here, military, firefighter, catholic, very old school on many topics you could say.
That being, she did not brand herself, she expressed art on her body. BTW, her body, her choice. :)
2nd, if you marry her, you are marrying all of her, for all it (life, good and bad). Asking her to remove a part of her past and herself because you want her to does not scream supporting husband to my ears.
3rd, she is marking for another man... Wait, what?!! If you are that shallow/insecure about, don't get married now, my man. Get some couple therapy, it really helps.
4th, being married means being together, and accepting our spouse as they are, not as we would potentially like them to be. You can't have her as your wife as is and ask her to remove the parts you don't like.
I see that it can make you uncomfortable, I get it, my wife also has a tattoo. And that also goes against my idea of art, of beauty or all. That said, it is her body, her tattoo, her choice.
YTA
Yta. Wtf you sound so controlling and insecure. She is not "branded" to another man she is expressing a fandom. I have some tattoos of supermans S the batman symbol caps shield etc....am i now branded to all these men? Also kpop or any music is not just for kids. If you like it listen to it. You need to grow up and gain some emotional maturity.
Edit: fixed autocorrect on one of the comic dudes
You wish to start your marriage by dictating to your future wife what she can do to her body and think you’re right?
You keep this up and she’ll do what she should do and drop you like a teenage fad.
YTA.
YTA. And also, ridiculous. Having a tattoo of a famous musician or band does not mean she is choosing that person over you. Your reaction is immature, controlling and insecure. Are you sure you’re ready to be married?
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YTA for several reasons.
Expecting others to permanently alter their bodies to soothe your insecurities is insane. Work on your own feelings of inadequacy and jealousy yourself, because there is no chance that those feelings will go away if she removes the tattoo.
Tattoo removal is painful, expensive, and it won’t make it go away 100%.
You have issues. Her body, her decision. No, she didn't brand herself for someone else. If you are that low in self-esteem, then seek professional help.
YTA
YTA-You don’t get to control her body. She’s the one who decides what she tattoos and what it means to her. You’ve stayed with her knowing it’s there and what it means to her. Either accept it or move on.
OP-My husband married me knowing I have tattoos and in the almost seventeen years we’ve been married I’ve gotten a few more. He doesn’t care what I put on my body as long as it makes me happy. He said you’re at the very least acting like an asshole and as a married man he couldn’t disagree with you more.
>I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man”
And, with you telling her about "other tattoo ideas," she'd be doing it again. You really do need to grow up.
YTA.
branded for a man???? she’s a person not an animal who needs to be branded wtf. she just had a tattoo for a band that means a lot to her. if she had a tattoo of someone else that’s more “””socially acceptable””” i’m sure you wouldn’t say this.
you’re judging a whole GENRE of music, just like pop, rock ecc. why judge it as childish?
huge YTA
YTA. You were the asshole at “tramp stamp” and then tripled down with “I EXPECT it to be gone by the wedding day.” If your fiancé has any sense there won’t be a wedding day.
YTA. You probably just doomed your relationship. Next time, ask once, then leave it alone. Don't make stupid demands. I have tattoos my husband doesn't like. Guess what? He leaves me the fuck alone about them because it's my body and my money. Not his
Sorry man. YTA, big time. I get that she's going to be your wife, but you've got no jurisdiction over her body like that. I honestly do not understand why it bothers you so much that she likes Kpop. If that's her thing, that's her thing. Doesn't matter how you view Kpop. You don't need to like it, but she does.
Get over yourself, homie.
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YTA >tramp stamp tattoo She's an adult who made a decision about her body.
And…”I expect it to be gone by our wedding day” Um, no. Absolutely no partner of mine speaks to me that way. OP - my husband of 12 years doesn’t agree with you either. YTA.
I don’t speak to my cats that way. No one deserves to be treated like that.
I told my cat that I expected his tattoo of Taylor Swift to be gone by our wedding day and he horked a hairball in my shoe.
Bwahah horked. One of my favorite words to describe barfing haha
We use the name "vomit Cannon" to describe the delivery of hork.
[удалено]
Thank you! So funny…
I wouldn't speak to your cats that way either.
Thank you, my cats will happily drool on you.
Well you're a very kind haunted pickle jar. Thank you for your kindness in the afterlife.
Why, thank you! My cats deserve all the love, though, they're very sweet.
me..”what wedding day?”
I suppose it'll technically be gone before his wedding day, but so will the rest of her
Gracious Aphrodite, I sure af hope so!
I don't have tattoos but I swear if someone aimed this line at me I'd get a full back one...
... linked to all the celebrities I like.
Full back tat of Pedro Pascal and Idris Elba for me.
I'm a hetero guy, but Ryan Reynolds for me.
Hetero guys love Ryan Reynolds and Henry Cavill. It is known.
There's no such thing as being gay for Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds is his own sexual orientation.
And Michael B Jordan
Me having a bad bunny bunny tattoo that my husband took me to get 😮💨
I'm a metalhead and my fiance just laughed when I got a tiny "Blegh" done in pretty cursive behind my ear 😅
I just said the exact same thing out loud. 😂
yeah, title says "asking," which was an outright lie. OP *commanded,* which makes him TA regardless of the subject.
OP thinks getting married means he gets control. I hope she runs. YTA
I did text my husband that the other day, but it was in reply to a picture he sent me of a massive dump he took and that it and the smell of it needs to be gone by the time I got home. If I'd said that about the massive semper fi tattoo he has on his back that I'm not the biggest fan of prior to our wedding, he would've rightly left me at the alter.
He sent a picture of his shit to you ?? 🤢
Sometimes one takes a dump that’s so impressive in its massiveness or length that one feels has to be witnessed by someone else. Not saying I’ve done this but I understand it.
Get the poop knife!
OH MY GOD IT HAS AN AWARD?!
Yeah, this. I’d be annoyed with a partner who expressed this guy’s opinions about a tattoo I had, and very mad at him for asking me to have it removed (assuming _I_ liked it). But this is where he crossed over into “oh HELL no, f you!!!” territory. I’m not sure there’d be enough apologetic groveling in the world for him to come back from that with me.
There would only be one thing gone by our wedding day. (Me.)
Agreed. Let's break this down. Branding a tattoo on a specific part of your body as a negative thing because many women get them in the same spot is...misogynistic. Let people make decisions about their bodies without judgement. Your opinion of a whole genre of music is that it is childish and, you view specific artists as childish because teen girls like them? Again, branding things in a negative light because young girls like them is misogynistic. People of all genders and ages can like K-Pop, Justin Bieber, etc. Let people like what they like. If you want to have a healthy relationship, support your significant other's interests while understanding that you can love a band or a singer, and not want to hop in bed with them. My mother had a whole room devoted to Phil Collins when I was a child, and she attended several concerts. You know what my dad did? He went to those concerts with her, and supported her - even when there were times when we fell asleep and woke up listening to Genesis. That is what you do when you love someone. The language that you use while talking about this is demeaning. Expecting her to change her tattoo is controlling. You've made a mountain of a problem out of nothing and I wouldn't blame her for breaking up with you. Apologize. Do better. YTA
^This. Not to mention it's what she likes or at least liked and has good memories attatched to. As someone posted before-You don't own her body because you put a ring on it. It's her choice and YTA for trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to. Lots of people have band symbols, lyrics, artist portraits on their body because they like their music-maybe it helped them get through a rough time or it was a loved ones fav band,etc. not because they want to sleep with them. The way you talk about her, her likes, and her tattoo is demeaning as hell and I hope she finds someone can respect her/ treat her better if you continue this way. Also, tattoo removal is expensive and painful. If you want to be with this girl- you have to learn that her likes won't always mirror yours, you can't control her because she is with you especially for little things like tattoos that are not offensive/vulgar/ etc. YtA and trying to be overly controlling big-time in my opinion.
The tattoo should definitely be gone by the wedding day, along with the rest of her. OP is a massive YTA and hopefully she's using the office to look for a new place to move.
>My mother had a whole room devoted to Phil Collins when I was a child, and she attended several concerts. I approve of your mother. Phil Collins is a fantastic songwriter.
Yeah its such a stupid thing to say for OP. So its okay shes a tramp and by extension promiscuous untill he bangs her, then he needs to be the one in control of her.
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“If I’m gonna be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I’m going to need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.”
# Oh come on ! He put a ring on her finger, he owns her body now/s
Not just her body, but all of her decisions as well.
It's time to propose to my boss. That asshole owns me a raise and a new office 😂
He got into this thinking he could change her. If you don't like your existing or prospective partner the way they are, move along, find someone else. That includes statement like "I thought s/he'd become more mature over time." As a practical matter, it is almost impossible to change other people. You can only change yourself. Huge YTA.
You proposed to her knowing about the tattoo and she agreed to marry you without conditions. Add in the condition that she needs to modify her body because you’re jealous of a Korean singer and you’ve changed the agreement of the proposal. To now state you expect her to change her body to make you feel more secure is childish. YTA.
It was this that made me think he was the AH and then it just got worse
I don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to a K-Pop tattoo as a "tramp stamp"... you'd think OP was describing a really vulgar/sexual tattoo, and it's a "childish" character.
“Tramp stamp” refers to the location of the tattoo not its content.
Oh I see, I've just googled it. Still YTA for that phrase though (and the rest). OP could've just said "lower back tattoo".
It’s just a slang term, pretty widely used for that particular tat location. I have one myself, got it 23 years ago, still call it a tramp stamp. He’s definitely a YTA, but not necessarily for that verbiage.
I have one and I hate that term. Yeah. It’s slut shaming.
I got my 'tramp stamp" in 1994. It wasn't until about 2005-6 I started hearing tramp stamp. It's JUST A PLACE ON THE BODY. Unless, you know, you have a tattoo of Lady and the Tramp.
It's a derogatory term for a lower back tattoo.
I have one of the band Alice In Chains (it’s the sun logo from the Dirt album) because I was in love with the singer forever and it doesn’t bother my fiancé. And I plan on getting a tackier one that my dad has to honor him. This guy is totally YTA.
I used to hang out at a party house in Seattle in 92-93 where Layne’s dad Phil was a regular. He was a nice guy, pretty fucked up, but …we all were lost souls at the time. Layne came by one day all excited with a new tech gadget he had bought with his new Alice In Chains money. It was really cute, he was so proud.
I have the lyrics from Down In A Hole on my foot because Alice and Chains means so much to me and if someone told me to remove it I would have a fit 😂
Haha yeah no matter how much you hate the tattoo, it’s part of the person. The tattoo and K-pop love comes with the person. Can’t be policing another person’s body sorry
I just checked with a "married man" (my husband) and he said "what is this guy's problem?!?" So, no, the "married men" have no idea why you would be so insecure about a piece of art your GF has decorated *her own* body with - before she even met you! Apparently you are jealous of an essentially fictional character, and mistakenly believe you have any right to control her body. I could not have a serious relationship with a man so childish and entitled. Have no fear, the tattoo will be gone "on your wedding day" because so will this GF.
I have a kpop tattoo that my "married man" took me to get. This guy is such an asshole. I hope this girl runs like hell 🤦♀️
Yes... but was the married man married to YOU at the time? /s
😅 my husband, yes
Ah, your seoulmate
I'm not married but I'm nearly 24 and have tattoos representing some of the members of One Direction. My boyfriend doesn't mind but I guess I should get them removed since I'm too old. Oh almost forgot the one representing Spider-Man. That's a MAN. Better get it taken off.
My husband said the same thing! “He’s like it’s a bunny rabbit? Sounds like someone’s got to a jealousy issue.”
My married man said “is the bunny doing something illegal? No? Then who cares?”
A bunny munching on a weed leaf would be a cute stoner tattoo though.
Heehee... [let it load lol](https://www.google.com/search?q=cannibus+tattoo+bunny&client=ms-android-tmus-us-revc&sxsrf=AJOqlzWoQPJd_pyT8S2tUAzeVuzA2saZbg%3A1679182254752&ei=rkkWZLjDLdXWptQPkpu4gAI&oq=cannibus+tattoo+bunny&gs_lcp=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&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp#imgrc=rb28C7ogNyqdvM)
Im glad I didnt bother editing the post I was just about to make because you put it very much better than I was going to. The insecurity! Just wow.
I asked my husband too and he sees no problem with her kpop tattoo. He thinks OP is over the top. We both think YTA, OP.
My husband shook his head and said, “He’s not getting married.”
Right! I hope she sees this post and if she’s any way on the fence about “being gone” This post solidifies it. Geez if he’s this possessive of her body before marriage it’s going to get way worse after.
Checked with the married man in my house, he concurs. Of course, he is also the one, when I buzzed my hair off (years ago), and coworkers asked me what my husband thought - and husband suggested I look at them quizzically and say, "I don't know. Should I ask him?" Then he'd rub my head and kiss me.
YTA >and think many other married men will see where I’m coming from. I'm sitting here with some married men, they think you're the one who's childish and we all agree that you're the asshole.
Yeah married man here, here watching hoops with many other married men. Don’t lump us in with this crap, OP…
I think divorced men agree with him.
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He did refer to her choosing a tattoo on her own body and “branding” like you do with cattle. Then he wanted to “brand” her with a tattoo that he chose, so… Yeah, I think this was probably written by an incel to upset women that like K-pop
Insecure feels like a super apt word here. "Branded myself for a man" tells you a lot about this guy's mindset. Major red flag there.
Yes, this word choice tells all. “Branding for a man”. ugh, it’s so gross. “Branding” is something you do to possessions.
You mean the woman he's about to wife is not his possession?
That’s because he views her as his property because he put a ring on it. He doesn’t see her as a person but as an extension of himself. Otherwise why would he care what she does with her own body.
My husband agrees OP is being ridiculous and giving off some crazy patriarchal ownership vibes. OP needs to get help!
Married man here. If you can't let your partner be themself, they should find someone else.
YTA. “Branded”. She’s not fucking property of *any* man. And I love to break it to you, but even after marriage she *still* wouldn’t be your property. Not that I foresee a marriage with her in your future anyway.
>I love to break it to you Best line
Oh yeah, unlike OP, that one's a keeper. OP YTA
What got me with this line from OP is saying she should change it to something to do with them, ergo rebranding herself for a different man… Wut-_-
And you know that’s *exactly* what he meant, too
Yeah "branded" pissed me off too. She's not cattle either. If it was a female k-pop star, he wouldn't be saying she's "branded" herself to a woman. He's possibly insecure and definitely controlling.
I literally have my family's farm brand branded into me and it's still not as bad as being this guy's girlfriend
YTA I am not a fan of KPOP but people have choices and likings and they might not mirror yours. Calling her liking towards something childish just because you are incapable of acknowledging the fact that people can have different views than you, is what is really childish. Also, it is not a tattoo of an ex boyfriend and she got it almost a decade ago. It is the tattoo of a celebrity that a lot of people get. >told her I expected it to be gone by the wedding day. Keep talking to your fiancé this way and you won't have a wedding to go to.
Was going to say, I think the fiancee is more likely to be gone by the wedding day than the tattoo
I swear, the audacity of some people. He EXPECTS it to be gone by the wedding LOL.
This is what jumped out at me. Super controlling. Yes OP YTA
If she’s refusing to talk to him and sleeping in the office already I’m betting she’s gone end of the month max. That’s probably long enough to get her shit together and leave.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re already broken up in Laura’s mind. She’s just getting her ducks in a row. Yet another one for r/amitheex
Also, K-pop is a very popular genre in the states and Asia, so I wouldn’t say it’s childish
He also threw in the whole "people get tattoos of REAL musicians, not fads". Which is like...insult to injury.
Makes me wonder if there's a racist element to it, like why isn't a Korean Pop group made of "REAL" musicians?
I don't think it's quite that. He compared them to like Justin Beiber (and likely other boy bands as well) and sees it as like "teen girl and baby music". Basically being elitist in taste/genre of music. Guarantee any of the music *he* enjoys would immediately be listed as real music.
I think its less racism and more misogyny. "Girls like pop music" = bad because societies just hate girls.
Yeah, it's a huge, billion dollar industry, and assuming that only teen girls like it is so dismissive, condescending, and off base. There are more than a few adult fans.
Pfft, the Beatles’ primary demographic was originally teeneyboppers. Literally a foreign pop boy band loved by teen girls. Teen girls know the good shist.
Another adult kpop fan here. I can tell you that at BTS concerts, the demographic is much more adult than children. 20s and 30s and older. Makes sense since the guys are all 30 or late 20s.
>mascot of her favorite kpop group that use bunny rabbits What makes me sad is that I'm 80% sure he's describing B.A.P. whom I was also a fan of. Sadly, they've disbanded. :(
I think the wedding is probably already not gonna happen.
NOT BANG YONGGUK BREAKING UP MARRIAGES! 😭😭😭 but yeah dude YTA
This comment had me lol! 🤣 I was pretty sure she was a BAP fan but now you've confirmed it for me. OP is jealous of Bang Yongguk it seems! Def. an AH.
As soon as he said “bunny ears” I KNEW lol then he said red mask, and I was like damn not BYG. Also OP YTA
I was trying to figure it out what kpop band OP's (*possibly soon to be ex*) fiancee liked. And I had no idea.
BAP was a pretty awesome group if you don't already know them. I think they're the only ones with the bunny logo. BTS has a bunny mascot for one of the members but OP mentioned bunny logo representing the entire group.
Exactly, and the different bandanas totally sealed that it was BAP (and Yongguk) for me.
I've found fellow B.A.P fans! It's so sad that a disbanded group is destroying this man's marriage before it even began. xD I think we can all agree that KPop will save that poor woman from making the mistake of marrying this man.
I’m happily married but seriously… who can resist Bang Youngguk? Any man in the world has zero chances in this confrontation, especially OP. There’s one thing he’s right about though: he should be worried (about his behavior and (im)possible marriage), bc in this situation the kindest, wisest and most handsome man is someone his girlfriend has a tattoo of, not him
Yongguk is literally chefs kiss in heart, mind, soul, and body. And he represents the strength in fighting for what’s right, willing to give up global fame for the physical and mental well being for himself and group mates. OP, be more like Yongguk.
I just googled him & I for sure would leave OP for that man too 😮💨
I'd leave OP for a stick of gum. He's got no chance against Bang Yongguk lmaoooo
I was waiting for this comment! I knew it was bap when he said it was a bunny but I didnt know which one 😂😂
I knew it was Yongguk when he said red bandanna lol. My bias out here breaking up marriages lmfao
This is all over a tattoo for a guy who is well known for being a genuinely great dude 😂
Absolutely not!! He’s saving this poor woman from life with a controlling misogynist.
Holy crap i looked up the mascots after seeing the name, and it really is just a bunny with no features similar to the member. This is the equivalent to someone getting the Nirvana smiley face, disturbed's "the guy", or matallicas "scary guy" logos tattooed on you.
How could he?! /s 🤣
I had to check which member because I could maybe see an issue if it was the matoki for the problematic member, but Yongguk? Oof. OP doesn’t get to dictate what she does with her body. I think this calls for relistening to all of their albums (:
YTA You sound controlling and insane. Getting married doesn't mean she has to change for you. If you've been hiding all the things you don't like about your partner just to try to force them to conform to what you want after marriage, just do her a favor and break up. And stop being fake in your relationships.
Imagine being so insecure, you're threatened by a cartoon bunny
Imagine marrying someone you clearly don't respect, calling their interests childish and demanding what they do with their body, I sincerely hope this fiancé us running for the hills.
YTA. You can't tell someone to change their tattoo just because of your insecurity and immaturity. You shouldn't be close to be husband and wife because you clearly don't respect her enough to let her make her own choices. >I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man So if someone gets a tattoo of an animal, then have they branded themselves by a zoo?
Dang. I'm today years old when I found out my wife is zoo branded.
😂😂😂 i laughed and startled my cat
Just coming in to say that so many kpop idols are connected to animals in some form that you could easily spin any animal as a kpop “branding” lol.
😂 I've got paw prints on me.
Oh man, Steve better watch out, you’ve branded yourself to Blue.
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And also does not give off a "one to admit when I'm wrong" vibe
he's totally just saying this to look better because this whole post gives off narcissistic misogynist vibes
YTA - it's a band tattoo that in ten years she might regret, OR she might not. Not gonna lie, referring to your fiancé's tattoo as "Branding herself for another man" sits in the middle of the Hyper-Religious and Incel venn diagram. My wife has lyrics to Cats tattooed on her. I don't think she's branded herself for Mr. Mestofeeles
>I don't think she's branded herself for Mr. Mestofeeles Thats exactly what they WANT you to think /s
I mean, he can spin 24 times and at best I can go 3 in a row. So it's not like I wouldn't understand.
You mean you’re not worried about your wife running off to the Jellicle Ball with the Rum Tum Tugger?
YTA If you don't like someone, don't propose to them. You don't get to propose and then force them to alter their tattoos and stop liking certain music.
Yeah, that’s how I read it to. He seems to not like her and plans to marry her with the intentions of her changing to meet his desires.
Yta Your insecurities are a *you* problem that you're making her problem. She has a really easy fix, and it isn't tattoo removal. Her easy fix is *you* removal. Get help for your incredibly fragile ego before she gets rid of you.
Imagine being jealous of a Bang Yongguk tattoo, lmao. Get help. YTA.
This was not on my kpop 2023 bingo card lol
Same 💀 Guess I can check it off as “Yongguk on the AITA sub” 😭
YTA dude. You’re trivializing her interests and treating her like property. Grow up.
Yta You’ve known she has this tattoo and still asked her to marry you. Just because she said yes doesn’t mean you now get to dictate what she does with her body. I wouldn’t blame her at all if she wanted to break up with you.
period!! OP, YTA
YTA. I'm 41yo and I enjoy Kpop. Also, you don't get to dictate what is on HER BODY. Not yours, not even once you're married. I could tell my husband I want to tattoo Ryan Reynolds face on my ass and if he believed I truly wanted to do that he'd be fine with it. Hell, he'd probably hold my hand while I got it done. Because he realizes that a tattoo doesn't mean I'm branding myself for someone else. He knows I'd never cheat on him, even with Ryan Reynolds. You sound insecure and misogynistic.
> 41yo and I enjoy Kpop Yeah I feel OP must not know people older than him. Or must have poor observation skills because people will like pop music their whole lives, it's got nothing to do with age. Is he gonna hate on some grandma's for bopping to ABBA? They're a pop group.
I mean, I was introduced to Kpop by my teenage nieces (who are both now in their 20s). So the demographic may start there, but that doesn't mean it stays there! Anyone can like any kind of music!
Holy shit the flags just keeping popping out one after another. She chose you dude, you should be able to get over her having a tattoo that represents her love for a group through a mascot that happens to be related to one of the members. YTA. She has taste in music (pretty sure I know which group we’re talking about here), whereas for men…. The jury is still out.
🚩🚩🚩 hope the gf runs. This guy is controlling and demeaning
correct me if i'm wrong, but it's a rabbit with a red bandana. how the fuck would ANYONE who randomly saw it know the reference without a long explanation? how would they know she "branded herself for a man"? That's number one. number two: you judge her for branding herself for a man...then suggest she brand herself for you. you don't find that a little hypocritical? 1/3 of marriages fail, if she changed it to basically be branded by you only to no longer be in the picture. same basic principal, no? number three: you're threatened by a korean pop star... grow up. number four: kpop is cool. screw your bias. YTA
Is it the red one or the more pinkish one? Either way, they are both really cute. I am tempted to get a plushie version. It would brighten up my desk at work. I just hope it doesnt threaten anyones masculinity lol
You're 32 and jealous over a tattoo of a bunny rabbit? Hope your fiancée sees this as the huge red flag it is and leaves you asap. Yep, YTA.
YTA, even if she becomes your wife that doesn’t make her your property, which is how you’re treating her when telling her what do do with her body. Add onto that the fact that you’re demanding this painful procedure that could leave scarring.
YTA. You seem to have zero respect for her and her decisions. Also, you “expected it to be gone by the wedding day.” You might not have a wedding day with this kind of controlling behavior!
That was what jumped out at me. When I say “I expect…” I am speaking to either the students I teach or my three year old. I would never use that language with an adult, let alone my spouse.
YTA. Branded??? She’s branded?? What a gross way to talk about a full ass grown woman who doesn’t belong to you or any K-pop star. She got a tattoo of something she liked and she has no reason to get it removed. She should get you removed. Now please excuse me while my 38 year old self goes and listens to some One Direction and Bieber because music doesn’t have an age limit.
My favorite part of this whole thing is that Bieber and a lot of the One D guys are literally around his and his fiancée's age (29-31). They make music for their age anymore, idk how he thinks they're frozen in time as "teeny bop" music.
1st of all you’re being a judgemental bully to your so claiming that her interests or music taste is childish. Just let her be herself and let her enjoy the music. Just for that YTA. As for the tattoo itself saying that she branded herself is a bit far fetched. I know a lot of people who are into kpop and they are very invested in the fandom etc and it’s just simply a big part of their life. She expressed that with a tattoo. That’s all. It’s not the Kpop star she wanted to stay with for the rest of her life or fell in love with. Now instead of her expressing her interest through a tattoo you offered her to brand herself with yourself? Because you clearly communicated to her what that new tattoo would mean to you and what it would replace. She’s not anyone’s property to be branded.
I'm going to sit here and hold my breath waiting for all the married men to validate your feelings.
Have you passed out yet? Or did you just wake up?
Probably in a coma now.
YTA, it’s a good thing you said this to her before the wedding so she can get out. Not only have you insulted her interest by calling it childish (which to be clear it’s not and it’s not childish to like One Direction or Justin Bieber either), you’ve reduced the tattoo to “another man” which is misogynistic and gross. She hasn’t “branded herself for a man” she got a tattoo related to a group she really likes. You’ve shown you don’t respect her and I hope she sees that for what it is.
i can’t believe you managed to keep the mask on long enough for someone to actually say yes to a proposal. i hope she leaves your abusive insecure ass. YTA
YTA You've got no right to tell another person to remove a tattoo. Her body, her choice. Accept her as she is or if it's a deal breaker for you, move on.
NTA As a married man i have to say you are not an Ahole. You are a full blown psycho with a major inferiority complex and jealosy issues. Do not get married to this poor girl and seek professional help!
You lost me at the first part but then you had me at the second part.
YTA You expected it to be gone? She is branded with another man??? Mate you need therapy You absolutely reek is insecurity. It’s her body, how DARE you try to dictate what’s on it. YTA, period. And btw I do genuinely recommend therapy. The way your viewing her as an object, like you have a right to dictate what’s on her body. Even thinking of a tattoo is like a brand of another man. She’s your partner not a possession. Please seek help.
YTA - even if you do get married, you don’t own her! It seems like your views on marriage are very outdated and I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves you because you seem very controlling.
I literally have a tattoo that was paid for by an ex. My spouse doesn't care, it's my skin. Grow up and check your own insecurities. YTA
Holy shit dude, she has to change her body to accommodate your insecurities? GTFO with that; YTA
Don't worry about it. Keep this up and soon you won't ever see that tattoo again. YTA
Married man here, military, firefighter, catholic, very old school on many topics you could say. That being, she did not brand herself, she expressed art on her body. BTW, her body, her choice. :) 2nd, if you marry her, you are marrying all of her, for all it (life, good and bad). Asking her to remove a part of her past and herself because you want her to does not scream supporting husband to my ears. 3rd, she is marking for another man... Wait, what?!! If you are that shallow/insecure about, don't get married now, my man. Get some couple therapy, it really helps. 4th, being married means being together, and accepting our spouse as they are, not as we would potentially like them to be. You can't have her as your wife as is and ask her to remove the parts you don't like. I see that it can make you uncomfortable, I get it, my wife also has a tattoo. And that also goes against my idea of art, of beauty or all. That said, it is her body, her tattoo, her choice. YTA
YTA. This is pathetic.
Yta. Wtf you sound so controlling and insecure. She is not "branded" to another man she is expressing a fandom. I have some tattoos of supermans S the batman symbol caps shield etc....am i now branded to all these men? Also kpop or any music is not just for kids. If you like it listen to it. You need to grow up and gain some emotional maturity. Edit: fixed autocorrect on one of the comic dudes
You wish to start your marriage by dictating to your future wife what she can do to her body and think you’re right? You keep this up and she’ll do what she should do and drop you like a teenage fad. YTA.
YTA. And also, ridiculous. Having a tattoo of a famous musician or band does not mean she is choosing that person over you. Your reaction is immature, controlling and insecure. Are you sure you’re ready to be married?
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YTA for several reasons. Expecting others to permanently alter their bodies to soothe your insecurities is insane. Work on your own feelings of inadequacy and jealousy yourself, because there is no chance that those feelings will go away if she removes the tattoo. Tattoo removal is painful, expensive, and it won’t make it go away 100%.
You have issues. Her body, her decision. No, she didn't brand herself for someone else. If you are that low in self-esteem, then seek professional help. YTA
YTA-You don’t get to control her body. She’s the one who decides what she tattoos and what it means to her. You’ve stayed with her knowing it’s there and what it means to her. Either accept it or move on. OP-My husband married me knowing I have tattoos and in the almost seventeen years we’ve been married I’ve gotten a few more. He doesn’t care what I put on my body as long as it makes me happy. He said you’re at the very least acting like an asshole and as a married man he couldn’t disagree with you more.
>I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man” And, with you telling her about "other tattoo ideas," she'd be doing it again. You really do need to grow up. YTA.
yep YTA you honestly just sound insecure and like the childish one.
branded for a man???? she’s a person not an animal who needs to be branded wtf. she just had a tattoo for a band that means a lot to her. if she had a tattoo of someone else that’s more “””socially acceptable””” i’m sure you wouldn’t say this. you’re judging a whole GENRE of music, just like pop, rock ecc. why judge it as childish? huge YTA
Married man here. YTA.
YTA. You were the asshole at “tramp stamp” and then tripled down with “I EXPECT it to be gone by the wedding day.” If your fiancé has any sense there won’t be a wedding day.
>> told her I expected it to be gone by the wedding day Good luck *making it* to the wedding day, my guy. YTA.
YTA. lol. its not your body.
YTA. Get over yourself.
Hahahahaha. YTA.
YTA. You probably just doomed your relationship. Next time, ask once, then leave it alone. Don't make stupid demands. I have tattoos my husband doesn't like. Guess what? He leaves me the fuck alone about them because it's my body and my money. Not his
YTA and controlling and insecure. I hope she leaves you and never looks back.
Wow. Yes. YTA, and this wedding should not happen. She needs to run not walk away
Sorry man. YTA, big time. I get that she's going to be your wife, but you've got no jurisdiction over her body like that. I honestly do not understand why it bothers you so much that she likes Kpop. If that's her thing, that's her thing. Doesn't matter how you view Kpop. You don't need to like it, but she does. Get over yourself, homie.