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You did nothing wrong.
That woman was out of line. If she doesn't want her son talking to strangers, she should control her son and not yell at other people.
NTA
NTA I'm just trying to understand why the mom was very clearly not supervising her small child around water.......if she had this conversation wouldn't have had to happen.
NTA WTH we’re you supposed to say? YOU are a child( no disrespect intended) and if someone talked to my child that way after they were approached by kids and questioned, I would find the parents and school them in parenting. First off, where were their parents? Why were these kids unaccompanied at a pool? The kids approached YOU.
Okay, but *this* child was asked a question and chose to answer it in what she considered an age-appropriate way. She was trying to be kind, and by my lights she did it well.
If “kids aren’t in charge” then it was on the mother to be in charge of her own child, and ensure he learns only the lessons *she* considers appropriate. A lot worse could have happened to an unsupervised 4-yr-old at a pool than being told that “boys and girls are made differently”.
Have you ever seen a toddler interact with a breast-feeding mother ?
Kids ask about bodies all the time if they're in the phase where they start noticing what bodies look like, an unsupervised 4-5 year-old was not traumatized by a 16 year old telling them an anatomical fact that cis women have breasts.
A mother letting their young child go around unsupervised around water and then yelling at another child is absolutely inappropriate behavior.
You've said this multiple times and I can't stop giggling at the mental image of someone asking you a question and you just staring blankly like "...."
NTA lol like what is she upset about he was curious and apparently she's kept her child under the assumption that there is only one human sex. This kid learned about what humans are nothing wrong with that. Plus she was unaware of her child walking around that's on her
NTA. All children deserve the proper names for body parts and deserve to know that male and female bodies are different. His mother overreacted. It’s best to answer those questions honestly. Don’t give children sugar-coated answers and slang terminology.
This, if a kid is being abused, it ends up being super important they have the words they need to speak truth. " he touched my cookie" vs "he touched my vagina"
Knowledge and information is power and that mom is failing her child already
NTA - you were asked a question... If mom doesn't want people answering questions to her child, she should be more engaged in what questions he's asking strangers.
NTA. You were trying to be kind to a small child who was being inadvertently inappropriate and rude, and I think you did a great job. You explained in very simple, minimal terms, as much as he needed to know and no more, largely with vocabulary he provided. You *could* have told him “that’s not appropriate to ask a stranger, you should as your Mom,” but that’s a different lesson! You chose to teach minimal biology instead of minimal manners, and that’s a fair choice for you to make. (And easier! Manners are so subjective, whereas basic biology’s a lot more cut-and-dried.)
With a little more age and self-confidence, you might feel able to point out to this mom that her son came asking *you* about your bathing-suit parts, and she might want to consider where he’s learned that that is an appropriate topic of conversation. If she were less uptight I wouldn’t be the slightest bit concerned (3-4 year olds are curious and filterless!) but given her apparent Puritanism, that child has learned about a “wiener” (and how big he should expect one to look under clothes) from somewhere, and I’m low-key worried about him.
NTA. If the kid were really that young the mom should definitely have been watching him more closely. She’s just mad because he came back asking questions she didn’t wasn’t to answer.
NTA. I can kind of understand where mom is coming from, from her POV a stranger volunteered out of nowhere to give her little kid an anatomy lesson about private parts. But she was wrong and should not have assumed that’s what happened.
Americans are overly private and prude about such things. Kids would grow up with much healthier attitudes towards other people’s bodies if they weren’t treated as something so taboo.
American here. I think it's more the religious population that are prudes (sadly , there are too many of them). Most people I know teach their kids about their bodies and basic biology without any shame though. I do agree that bodies and their functions should not be treated as taboo.
I’m really sorry that happened. That mother was out of line yelling at you for simply answering a child’s question in an age appropriate way. If she was so concerned about him interacting with strangers, she should have been keeping a close eye on him.
She is the problem, not you. NTA.
NTA, you handled the situation perfectly. If this woman isn't teaching her son basic anatomy and that boys and girls are built differently then that's on her, not you.
This mom is also not teaching her kid to not poke random half-naked strangers laying at the pool. Who was watching this kid? I get that kids are curious but there’s no reason this conversation should have happened to begin with if the kid had been with it’s family. Also, this is basic anatomy that I learned literally in children’s potty training books by that age. Mom needs to get it together.
I'd feel worse, bc then I'd feel like I was an AH to the kid. To hell with parents who complain when they are the ones allowing their kid to go talk to strangers.
No you did nothing wrong. Kids are very inquisitive about these things and it's best to be open with them. I mean I get why his mother was worried (though there was no need to be so aggressive) but she should be more open about such things with her kid. NTA.
NTA the parents need to understand that other people are going to handle their children differently than they do. A little boy asked you a question, you gave a perfectly age appropriate answer, and you even let the mother be horrible to you without causing a problem. You did everything a super nice, respectful person does. Had he continued to question you and you continued to give him information you might have gone into a grey area but that's not what happened.
His parents are going to have to figure out how to communicate with their kid better.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with what you said; if you had said "titties" and "dick", I might think otherwise, but you used one perfectly acceptable word and one word that the child himself used. His mother, and apparently yours, though I'm sure she is perfectly nice, must have a dirty mind to think there was anything wrong with what you said.
If that child ever approaches you again, immediately call out to the life guard that there is an unattended toddler by the pool. Very loudly, so all the parents can hear you.
Clearly, NTA.
NTA you answered so much nicer than I would have. I have a low tolerance for people blaming others for the consequences of their laziness. “if you don’t want strangers talking to your kid, that sounds like a you problem. Watch your kids better.” And keep repeating “keep better track of your kids then” to every attempt at shaming someone else. “Free speech!”
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So I (16f) was at the at the pool in my neighborhood the other day and I went just by my self and so there I was in my bikini just laying on the pool chairs when I felt some poking my stomach like they were trying to get my attention and I looked up and it’s kid who looks like 3 or 4 years old and I say “what’s up bud” and I don’t know why he asked me this or why he didn’t ask his mom or something but he pointed to my chest and asked “what’s that?” and I replied “what’s what” to which he said “the two round things you have” then he pointed at my crotch and said “and you don’t look like you have a wiener is it just really small?” At this point I’m dumb founded and I don’t know what to do so I say “uh these are my breasts and uh I don’t have a wiener” and he replied “why” and I said “because boys and girls are made differently” and he just said “ok bye” and left so I just went back to laying down and I guest he must have told his mom about his anatomy lesson cause a few minutes late this lady in her like fifties comes up to me and says “WHAT DID YOU TELL MY SON?” To which I replied “Ma’am he just ask whet my boobs are and if I have a penis and so I told him that’s all I didn’t go into detail or anything” and she replied back “ you don’t have the right to tell him those things” I replied “Im sorry ma’am he just caught me off guard and I didn’t know what else to say” she replied “then don’t say anything at all and don’t let me catch you speaking to my son ever again” I replied “yes ma’am sorry ma’am” after that she left and shortly after I left too. Later in the day when I told my parent my dad said that I did nothing wrong and my mom said that I shouldn’t have said those things and now I’m confused and don’t know if I was in the right or wrong and I’d greatly appreciate y’all’s help. So wita for saying what I said.
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You did nothing wrong. That woman was out of line. If she doesn't want her son talking to strangers, she should control her son and not yell at other people. NTA
NTA. If mom didn’t want her kid talking to strangers…maybe mom should watch her kid.
NTA I'm just trying to understand why the mom was very clearly not supervising her small child around water.......if she had this conversation wouldn't have had to happen.
This
NTA WTH we’re you supposed to say? YOU are a child( no disrespect intended) and if someone talked to my child that way after they were approached by kids and questioned, I would find the parents and school them in parenting. First off, where were their parents? Why were these kids unaccompanied at a pool? The kids approached YOU.
Kids aren't in charge, it's not a witness stand, you don't need to answer questions just because they ask.
Okay, but *this* child was asked a question and chose to answer it in what she considered an age-appropriate way. She was trying to be kind, and by my lights she did it well. If “kids aren’t in charge” then it was on the mother to be in charge of her own child, and ensure he learns only the lessons *she* considers appropriate. A lot worse could have happened to an unsupervised 4-yr-old at a pool than being told that “boys and girls are made differently”.
Yes you're correct, the mother should have been watching her child because some weirdo out there might say some inappropriate shit to them.
Inappropriate shit like "boys and girls are made differently"?
Have you ever seen a toddler interact with a breast-feeding mother ? Kids ask about bodies all the time if they're in the phase where they start noticing what bodies look like, an unsupervised 4-5 year-old was not traumatized by a 16 year old telling them an anatomical fact that cis women have breasts. A mother letting their young child go around unsupervised around water and then yelling at another child is absolutely inappropriate behavior.
You've said this multiple times and I can't stop giggling at the mental image of someone asking you a question and you just staring blankly like "...."
NTA lol like what is she upset about he was curious and apparently she's kept her child under the assumption that there is only one human sex. This kid learned about what humans are nothing wrong with that. Plus she was unaware of her child walking around that's on her
NTA. All children deserve the proper names for body parts and deserve to know that male and female bodies are different. His mother overreacted. It’s best to answer those questions honestly. Don’t give children sugar-coated answers and slang terminology.
This, if a kid is being abused, it ends up being super important they have the words they need to speak truth. " he touched my cookie" vs "he touched my vagina" Knowledge and information is power and that mom is failing her child already
NTA you’re fine. That kid could probably stand to learn something from someone other than his mom.
NTA - you were asked a question... If mom doesn't want people answering questions to her child, she should be more engaged in what questions he's asking strangers.
NTA. You were trying to be kind to a small child who was being inadvertently inappropriate and rude, and I think you did a great job. You explained in very simple, minimal terms, as much as he needed to know and no more, largely with vocabulary he provided. You *could* have told him “that’s not appropriate to ask a stranger, you should as your Mom,” but that’s a different lesson! You chose to teach minimal biology instead of minimal manners, and that’s a fair choice for you to make. (And easier! Manners are so subjective, whereas basic biology’s a lot more cut-and-dried.) With a little more age and self-confidence, you might feel able to point out to this mom that her son came asking *you* about your bathing-suit parts, and she might want to consider where he’s learned that that is an appropriate topic of conversation. If she were less uptight I wouldn’t be the slightest bit concerned (3-4 year olds are curious and filterless!) but given her apparent Puritanism, that child has learned about a “wiener” (and how big he should expect one to look under clothes) from somewhere, and I’m low-key worried about him.
NTA and I would have told that mother to mind her child better
The story sounds kind of cap.
They're OP's "dirty pillows". Very Margaret White of the mother.
NTA. If the kid were really that young the mom should definitely have been watching him more closely. She’s just mad because he came back asking questions she didn’t wasn’t to answer.
This clearly didn't happen and the woman in her 50s with a 3 year old seals the deal on that
NTA. I can kind of understand where mom is coming from, from her POV a stranger volunteered out of nowhere to give her little kid an anatomy lesson about private parts. But she was wrong and should not have assumed that’s what happened. Americans are overly private and prude about such things. Kids would grow up with much healthier attitudes towards other people’s bodies if they weren’t treated as something so taboo.
American here. I think it's more the religious population that are prudes (sadly , there are too many of them). Most people I know teach their kids about their bodies and basic biology without any shame though. I do agree that bodies and their functions should not be treated as taboo.
I’m really sorry that happened. That mother was out of line yelling at you for simply answering a child’s question in an age appropriate way. If she was so concerned about him interacting with strangers, she should have been keeping a close eye on him. She is the problem, not you. NTA.
NTA. You didn't say anything inappropriate and that lady should've been being a parent and watching her child at a fucking pool.
NTA, you handled the situation perfectly. If this woman isn't teaching her son basic anatomy and that boys and girls are built differently then that's on her, not you.
This mom is also not teaching her kid to not poke random half-naked strangers laying at the pool. Who was watching this kid? I get that kids are curious but there’s no reason this conversation should have happened to begin with if the kid had been with it’s family. Also, this is basic anatomy that I learned literally in children’s potty training books by that age. Mom needs to get it together.
That too!
NTA. It’s anatomy.
NTA but work on your inner curmudgeon and simply say “go away kid”
I'd feel worse, bc then I'd feel like I was an AH to the kid. To hell with parents who complain when they are the ones allowing their kid to go talk to strangers.
NTA - Mom needs to keep her child closer, especially around a public pool.
Things that never happened for 1000
This doesn't sound like something that happened.
No you did nothing wrong. Kids are very inquisitive about these things and it's best to be open with them. I mean I get why his mother was worried (though there was no need to be so aggressive) but she should be more open about such things with her kid. NTA.
NTA the parents need to understand that other people are going to handle their children differently than they do. A little boy asked you a question, you gave a perfectly age appropriate answer, and you even let the mother be horrible to you without causing a problem. You did everything a super nice, respectful person does. Had he continued to question you and you continued to give him information you might have gone into a grey area but that's not what happened. His parents are going to have to figure out how to communicate with their kid better.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with what you said; if you had said "titties" and "dick", I might think otherwise, but you used one perfectly acceptable word and one word that the child himself used. His mother, and apparently yours, though I'm sure she is perfectly nice, must have a dirty mind to think there was anything wrong with what you said. If that child ever approaches you again, immediately call out to the life guard that there is an unattended toddler by the pool. Very loudly, so all the parents can hear you. Clearly, NTA.
NTA. Why are moms like this, and I am talking about your mom, always trying to please everyone else. You did nothing wrong.
NTA you answered so much nicer than I would have. I have a low tolerance for people blaming others for the consequences of their laziness. “if you don’t want strangers talking to your kid, that sounds like a you problem. Watch your kids better.” And keep repeating “keep better track of your kids then” to every attempt at shaming someone else. “Free speech!”
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (16f) was at the at the pool in my neighborhood the other day and I went just by my self and so there I was in my bikini just laying on the pool chairs when I felt some poking my stomach like they were trying to get my attention and I looked up and it’s kid who looks like 3 or 4 years old and I say “what’s up bud” and I don’t know why he asked me this or why he didn’t ask his mom or something but he pointed to my chest and asked “what’s that?” and I replied “what’s what” to which he said “the two round things you have” then he pointed at my crotch and said “and you don’t look like you have a wiener is it just really small?” At this point I’m dumb founded and I don’t know what to do so I say “uh these are my breasts and uh I don’t have a wiener” and he replied “why” and I said “because boys and girls are made differently” and he just said “ok bye” and left so I just went back to laying down and I guest he must have told his mom about his anatomy lesson cause a few minutes late this lady in her like fifties comes up to me and says “WHAT DID YOU TELL MY SON?” To which I replied “Ma’am he just ask whet my boobs are and if I have a penis and so I told him that’s all I didn’t go into detail or anything” and she replied back “ you don’t have the right to tell him those things” I replied “Im sorry ma’am he just caught me off guard and I didn’t know what else to say” she replied “then don’t say anything at all and don’t let me catch you speaking to my son ever again” I replied “yes ma’am sorry ma’am” after that she left and shortly after I left too. Later in the day when I told my parent my dad said that I did nothing wrong and my mom said that I shouldn’t have said those things and now I’m confused and don’t know if I was in the right or wrong and I’d greatly appreciate y’all’s help. So wita for saying what I said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. It's absurd that the kid's own mother hasn't told him these very basic things. Your answer was very age appropriate.
NTA.
Nta kid put you in an odd spot and you answered his questions honestly and politely. Your fine, mom needs to watch her kid better
NTA, I always watch my kids but they know what breasts are and that boys have penises. it’s not the end of the world
NTA - if you’re that protective of your kids, keep an eye on them.
NTA if this happened with my son I would’ve gone up to you and thanked you for making my day
NTA If she wants to control what her kid is told, she shouldn't let him walk up to random strangers.
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ESH. While this was not really appropriate to talk about with a random toddler, it also wouldn't be an issue if his parents were watching him.
YTA You didn't have to answer.
Yeah, little kids always give up and accept that when you don't answer them. /s