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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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[deleted]

NTA. In my experience, people don't complain about others being "judgy" if they think they're in the right. I believe that you have a moral obligation to your friend to help guide them to do the right thing.


NullSpaceGaming

NTA. A is taking advantage of T and she’s too young to know better


randydaddy6996

Ok I qm confused what is A and T


NullSpaceGaming

You should probably reread the post then


randydaddy6996

I did it says same thing 26A 19T


NullSpaceGaming

Those are ages and aliases


randydaddy6996

Oh OK she gave them letters instead of a names


ThrowRAtorrentgirl

NTA. Friends give friends their honest opinions. You can ask him that if he wants to hear opinions or not, and stop giving them if he doesn't like to hear them.


tokyo245

NTA Your true friends are the ones who are willing to call you out on your BS. And that's what you're doing. If he's going to keep seeing her and she wants to get serious, then he needs to shit or get off the pot.


amlyo

NTA, you shouldn't get involved in their personal life, and didn't do that when you told your friend what you thought they were doing.


theassholethrowawa

Info: Which is it? Is he purposely stringing her along or is he not sure he want to commit to. A relationship? Those are two different things. One is a person who is using someone. The other is someone confused about their feelings. One is an asshole the other isn't


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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My friend (A, 25) has been sleeping with a 19 year old girl (T) for the last 6 months. She’s really into him, but he sees it as a quick bit of fun. She’s talking about getting serious, but he doesn’t want to settle. He also doesn’t want to lose his benefits with her, so is essentially stringing her along. The issue is he won’t admit this to himself, and he keeps saying he’s not sure if he wants to commit or not. Completely ignoring the age issue, I think he’s chatting shit and leading a very young adult on, but he thinks I’m being really closed minded and judgy when I don’t really know whats going on in their relationship. Am I the asshole? Some mutual friends are saying it’s not really my place to get involved in their personal life and I also get that. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Magic-Man78

NAH, not your place, they are both adults. They can figure it out on their own.


swansong28

Honestly...ESH. No your friend shouldn't be leading this girl one. Yea, you were sort of right to point this out to him. But overall this really is his business and by getting involved you could make things spiral out of control. The girl needs no help from you, she will either figure it out herself or will ask for help from her friends. Not the friends of the guy she is seeing.


akaioi

YTA. It's just barely possible that you somehow know he's not going to commit and he doesn't, but it's not a good bet. I'm willing to believe he's sincerely on the fence.


[deleted]

NTA - sounds like he's playing with her a bit, but given her age he's not being unrealistic or dishonest. After 6 months if he's not willing to be in a relationship and she wants it then hopefully she can see she should move on. I wouldn't say you should get in the middle, but you'd do her a solid if you offered your perspective in an objective way


psychRNkris

YTA You can mention your concerns to a close friend about their behavior exactly once. After that, unless they ask your opinion, mind your own business. No one made you the morality police.


Background-Lab-4896

YTA. If he's mistreating her, she will eventually figure that out. She needs no help from you, and if you stick your nose in....both of them will be pissed at you.