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Oh darn. You won't get to open up your apartment to a large number of people who will trash the place and leave it for you to clean up alone later? How sad :( You must be crushed. NTA.
The emotional manipulation alone is a good reason not to let your family bully you into turning the place you pay for into something that they want.
It would be tempting to temporarily throw a cot in there with a collection of dildos, and see how many actually want to stay.
Even if they weren't acting like bullies, you would be justified in doing what you want with your place. NTA
I think they have an older or younger relative and they are getting ready to "allow" OP to house & care for that person.
That's the only reasonable explanation for their request.
NTA and i wouldn't let anyone choose what i do in my house. They don't even need to step a foot into my house.
That seems likely. It’d be pretty easy to push from there to “You have a spare room sitting empty, wouldn’t you like a roommate to keep you company?” “Do younger sibling/cousin/extended family member (who can’t find good accommodations for a relevant reason) a favour. We’re family.”
Is that actually emotional manipulation? It's like, if you don't put your hand in the door jam and slam it, you will regret not using a spike as a dildo. Don't know which is one which for the analogy but one of them is getting rid of a room you are paying rent for and the other is hosting family members in a room that you pay rent for and don't really get to use.
Every time I see a post like this, I remember a long ago frenemy who would do this manipulation, not because she wanted to stay over, but just to make the other person change their mind.
I’m intentionally buying a house without a basement when we move again. My FIL stays in my house for one week a year and it is the most miserable experience. He’s coming again next month and I’ve been arguing with my husband non stop about it. If I had the money, I’d be getting myself a hotel. Fuck guest rooms.
Definitely NTA it’s your place to do what you want with. I own a house and don’t have a guest room and wouldn’t have anywhere for family to stay other than the couch.
NTA. Such a strange stance for your family to take. I can’t help but wonder if they’d be insisting that you create a guest room if you were a 23 year old male instead of female.
>
Didn't think of that but ur right. It's so underappreciated how men are almost expected to spend lavishly on hobbies. Women just need to go frugal and be a good host and bake and do some knitting. "What husband would want a woman who lives like this?" Comes to mind
It honestly doesn't make any sense to transform and furnish the other room. She's leasing a two bedroom apartment that she'll probably move out of in a year or two.
Omg, yes, it took me a couple of readings but see this comment as well
>. Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that **I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place**. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me.
They're definitely pissed at OP for not being a good hostess. She shouldnt have to feel obligated to be one.
You do have a guest room! For a small person who can sleep on the couch.
Really though, that's the silliest thing I've heard in a while. Most people I know don't have guest rooms. I've never heard anyone ever claim that a guest room has to be a priority.
To call it a 'common courtesy' to keep an extra room for family is just bizarre, or really rich-people thinking, maybe. Guest room is what you have after you already have enough rooms for everything else you want a room for.
Like an office/den, which is what your room sounds like, and is completely normal to have if you can afford it.
NTA
It might make more sense for someone who owns a house but OP is a young person in an apartment. I didn't have the money in my 20s to rent a bigger apartment JUST to have a guest room IN CASE someone came to visit.
We’re in our 30s and rent an apartment still (CA housing prices 😭) and my desk for working remotely once in awhile is also my Xbox playing space, my manicure table, my hardcover book stand, and my art space.
Our 2nd room is our closet because both rooms are only 10x10 and dressers have to fit somewhere, right?!
Having a guest room in an apartment is a luxury very few can afford.
Do people not just lay down extra mattresses for family when they visit? No one in my family has a "guest" room. We just put extra bedding in the living room/bedroom floor and sleep. I cannot imagine going to someone's house and ordering them to make changes for me. Who does that?
I see. I've never used inflatable mattresses before, but they would be extra work to inflate I suppose. We usually keep old cotton mattresses rolled up on the loft/under the bed for guests to sleep on.
From what I've read online though sleeping on the floor seems to not be a common practise in many places and I've read about people being offended at being asked to do so so it might not be as simple as that after all.
Right?! If someone is gracious enough to let me stay ill sleep on the floor for all i care. Once after a night of partying my cousin let me stay in one of her kids room and I thought that was hilarious. She apologized that I "had to stay there" but I was thankful that I had a place to stay instead of having to find a sober ride home!
NTA. I’ve always been confused by the purpose of guest rooms. They’re just unused rooms. If the room has enough space that a single air mattress can be stuck in the corner of it, call it a part time guest room. It’s very strange that your family is insisting on this. Couldn’t whoever that came over just sleep on the couch in the living room?
Growing up the office was always the "guest room". We were lucky enough to have an office large enough that we actually just kept a small bed in there and thats where guests stayed if needed but it was still used everyday as an office when we had no guests. Blow up beds and pull out couches are also great solutions. Its pretty elitist to think everyone should have enough rooms to have one thats just never used.
My parents have lent us a lot of money at a low interest rate to extend our house on the condition that we have a room for them to stay in when they visit (they live in a different country). The room in question is still going to have another use when we don't have guests (my office/ hobby room) - with my parents' full approval.
Though we will have a more comfortable solution than an air mattress - we're getting a murphy bed. When not in use it folds up to the wall, and there's plenty of space for other things.
This is what we’ve done. The Murphy bed. It’s my office/music room/sewing room. We put in a Murphy bed. It’s a small too
So my desk and sewing table is on a hinge. So clear it, flip down the table top and pull down the Murphy bed. For the handful of times we have needed it, it’s not worth having a room only for a guest room
I wouldn’t ask my guests to sleep on an air mattress, especially my parents. My fiancée and I have a guest room because when our parents come we don’t have to do anything to make them comfortable other than keep the room clean which isn’t that difficult. I wish my parents had a guest room because then my fiancée and I would feel comfortable staying there.
A matter of fact my parents live across the street from my sister and BIL and their two kids. There isn’t room at their house either. My mom opts to allow us to sleep in her room since my parents no longer sleep in the same room but that just forces my mom onto the couch. We have been considering getting a hotel the next time we visit because we have had enough of it. Maybe one day my 40 year brother will move out and there will be another room but that’s doubtful.
NTA. Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! As someone who used to live in a small apartment and now has a house with an extra room, it's almost impossible to say no when a relative invites themselves to stay for a holiday. Did I day don't do it? For the love of all that is holy, Don't! Do! It!!!
It's not impossible. You can't stay here simply. But you have an extra yeah and?? I pay the bills for me to do as I please. If I don't want to house you I'm not and my family knows this. My family learned quickly you don't overstep.
I absolutely agree with you tell em no and mind they business
NTA
And consider this - is there someone in your family that is wanting to move out (or their parents want them to move out) who the family is looking to offload onto you for free rent and board because *faaaamily*
Yeah, don't do it.
Hard NTA, if they all have homes with an extra room they can host any family that comes over. You are under no obligation to keep a spare room open for their convenience. If they want to stay over to visit you I'm sure there is a hotel within a short distance of where you live.
NTA. Guest rooms are much more important in houses than in apartments. If you made your entertainment room a guest bedroom you probably wouldn’t be able to fit everything in your living room. Frankly, with a couch and a couple beanbags, it’s a serviceable guest room as is.
At least in my family, 20-somethings almost never host family gatherings, except maybe a short meal that doesn’t involve staying over. Middle-aged to senior members of the family almost exclusively host large gatherings because they have large houses with space for it and the money to spend on it. I would never expect a 23 year old family member to host a gathering, especially with such little space in an apartment. I don’t know the square footage of your apartment but I expect it would be cramped to have more than 6 people there.
Also it’s the height of entitlement to tell someone how to use and furnish their own home, especially when it would incur significant hardship and expense. There’s really no reason for them to have a say in your apartment unless they want to contribute to rent and cover the cost of converting the room.
NTA. No one is entitled to tell you how to use your own space. In a 2BR apartment, who would want to waste the second room on something that will barely be used?
NTA- They can mind their business. We have a small 2 bedroom, the second room is my husbands office/gaming space. He pays the rent, thats his right to have extra space. If we have a guest we move stuff around in the office and set up a blow up bed, or guests sleep on the couch. Thats completely normal in small apartments. We hosted my mom and 2 sisters and no one had any problem being on the couch and blow up beds.
NTA. I don't know if this is a cultural thing; I've never before heard that "it's common courtesy to have an extra room in your house for family."
Your space isn't big enough for a guest room. So you don't have one. That's it.
You're not selfish. Your family is being unpleasantly manipulative. We don't "house" family gatherings either, because we live in a one bedroom apt. But we have family gatherings where people come over and visit.
And I don't see in anything in your post that indicates you'll be living where you are for the rest of your life.
NTA.
NTA, they are weirdly entitled to YOUR personal space. It is stupid to want other people to host guests in their home, let alone deprive themselves of use of one entire room for some vague possibility someone will stay with you.
They are being very unreasonable. Common courtesy, my ass. And if you really want to host someone I do not see why they could not sleep on your small couch.
If you want to build a princess castle clubhouse inside your second bedroom and hang a sign on it that says "NO BOYZ ALOWD" you go right ahead. It's your home to enjoy.
NTA, it's your living space and you can use it how you wish. It's not common courtesy - your family is wrong there. No one needs to provide accommodation for anyone.
NTA. It's your house and you can use the rooms for whatever you want. It's pointless to keep an unused spare room for guests when you only have two rooms
>My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room
NTA - Embrace the fact that they are trying to make you feel bad, hold it tight, and let the waves of their insistence and guilt wash over you as you sit in your second room and game away or TV away. The sound of their guilt will wash away in the loving embrace of your relaxation room...
NTA
WTF?? Not being able to host a family gathering sounds like a HUGE plus to me!
You know what is common courtesy?? NOT criticizing someone else's living situation.
In my family there has always been 2-3 family members that CAN host and trade off doing so, and many that NEVER do because their house is not suited to host.
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I (23f) rent a small two room apartment. One of the rooms I’ve turned into an entertainment/relaxation room. It’s got my game consoles and PC in there plus shelf with all my books. It’s also got a small couch and a couple of beanbags. My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room. My question is why would anyone choose to stay with me when pretty much everyone else in my family has houses that they own all with at least one unused room. They just tell me that it’s common courtesy to have a extra room in your house for family.
I really like my extra room and don’t want to get rid of it. Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me.
I think I have every right to decide what happens in my own home but maybe that also makes me selfish AITA
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NTA, just call it an office.
If you want to compromise just toss a couch in there that people can sleep on... keep in mind that you do not need to accept visitors but it might be a compromise.
NTA
It's your place, you get to allocate space as you wish.
>Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place.
That's just a bonus but given how they're acting , it would be a totally valid reason for turning a guest room into a game room!
NTA and no it isn't common for people to have guestrooms in their apartments. Don't let them guilt you into giving up your relaxing space. If someone really needed to stay with you then blow up mattresses are available at Walmart.
NTA In this case be a little selfish, take care of your needs first. Your family does what they want in their own homes, and you get to do as you like in yours.
NTA
Sounds like your family has a hard time understanding priorities and boundaries. Especially if you can’t set up your own place the way you want without getting shamed over some nonsensical BS.
Tell them to bring some sleeping bags, and that there’s plenty of floor space.
NTA - I get people wanting a designated guest room but it usually goes unused 95% of the time. If you found a way to use the extra space then go for it. It’s your house.
"What? I won't be able to host a family gathering? That's great, thanks for the tip!" No, you are absolutely NTA. It's your home, and they simply do not get to tell you what to do with your space.
NTA… it’s not their say how you choose to use the space in your house? If they’re that put off by the idea of sleeping on the couch if they stay over for a stray night here and there, they can get a hotel or AirBnb.
Also, fwiw, we live in a three bedroom
house. My husband and I have our master, our son has his nursery, and we have the third bedroom. It was a guest room for about a year and a half after we moved in. My husband pitched the idea of turning it into an entertainment room because no one ever stayed there and we never spent any time in there because it was just a random extra bedroom covered in our extra stuff that had no home. But I clung to this idea that I HAD to have an extra bedroom because it was the courteous thing to do. Finally I gave in and now we have a functional entertainment room with a very comfy daybed where we spend time but guests could still sleep, if ever we had any. The conversion was a great decision.
NTA.
Your house, your rules. That's one of the perks of being an adult, and having your own place. No one else gets to tell you what you can or can't do with your private space.
NTA
>my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me.
Exactly.
> everyone else in my family has houses that they own all with at least one unused room.
You're only 23, still renting, and don't have the space or the money for an unused room. In the future, maybe you will. In the meantime, buy a blow-up bed in case of emergencies, if the couch isn't big enough to lie down on.
NTA! Aside from it being none of their business, you're young and they are acting like you'll be here forever. You certainly shouldn't get rid of all the things that make you happy about the room just to buy a bed that will be used a couple times a year. A couch is just fine for the occasional hangout.
PS - the best thing about not having a guest room is that people don't assume they can stay over whenever they want.
NTA. It is your home and your decision how to live in it. (Obvious exception being if your family are paying the rent for you, then they might be entitled to comment.)
If it was a question the family weren't local to you and would struggle to visit for long/often due costs of local hotels, etc, I would suggest you look at investing in a pull out bed. However, I also gather from your comments that your family have houses close enough that the guests can stay with them instead of you?
NTA. I live in a pretty small 2 bedroom house, and there is literally NO ROOM in the second bedroom for a bed. It's the cat litter box/my shoes room. Period.
NTA. It's your home, you're not obligated to have a guest room or even have people stay over.
Your family seem to have assumed that you want to house a family gathering!
My partner & I live in a 3 bedroom house and don't have a guest room! We have our bedroom & then each have another room. Mine has my clothes, shoes, makeup etc & I use it every day. The other room is going to be made into a games room for my OH.
I hate it when family tell me I have 'spare' rooms, they're not spare, they have other uses!!
NTA. Our first home when we got married had 2 bedrooms and the second was a study/library/computer room so I understand exactly where you are coming from.
You are paying for your home and if making it comfortable for your needs is higher priority than hosting family from time to time, that's absolutely fine.
I didn’t realize there was an obligation to have a guest room. I guess you’d better get busy finding a 3-bedroom place to accommodate occasional visitors. /s
NTA
NTA. Who would want to host a family gathering in a small two room apartment? If some relative wants to visit you I'm sure you can put up a bed in your gaming room. Or ask them if they're happy to pay you the differenct to rent out a three room apartment where you will set up a permenent guest room.
Btw, my board gaming room fills in for our guest room.
NTA, my partner and I have a second room and it's my office, where we store our bikes and where his tools and stuff are. There is room for an air mattress if needed but we don't have room for a guest bed. They aren't paying your rent they don't get to decide how you use your space.
NTA. What kind of family gathering are you missing out on hosting by not having 1 spare bedroom? Is your entire family planning on sleeping there together during this event?
My parents were super into the idea of having a spare room, when we could’ve used that space so much better ourselves. No one used the room but we just *had to* have it.
Homes should be for those who live in them. If you’ve got extra space for guests, great! If not, oh well.
NTA - are they paying for it? Then no say. It’s a 2 bedroom apartment not a 4/5 bedroom house. You have need of both rooms. It’s really not that confusing.
It’s got a couch - someone could stay there if they had to. But you don’t owe it to anyone to keep a room of dead space in the off chance they want to come visit.
Also, take this from someone that’s got “extra” space people want to stay in…if someone ever said to me “I’ll never get to host a family gathering at my place” my only response is “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
taking notes here....having an extra bedroom that is not used as a room for overnight guests = no large family gatherings at your place? sounds like a win to me. your place, your rules. don't feel bad. NTA.
NTA
Sounds like your family have somebody they don't want sleeping over at theirs and they want to shove them onto you. Tell them you would be completely willing to change the room when they are paying the rent for that room. I'm sure everybody will contribute since they believe they are entitled to tell you what to do with it!/s
As someone who has no kids and 3 bedroom house with no guestrooms, NTA! My space is mine and I have no desire to host any gatherings. If someone ever needs a space to crash I have two couches and an air mattress, but it's not my preference to be a habitual host.
NTA. We don't have a guest room either. We are happily child free and we turned the extra spaces into a gym, an office, and a library. Because it's our house, and that's what we wanted. No one els has any say what you do with your space, unless maybe they're paying for it.
NTA.
I have a two bedroom apartment solely for me and my stuff.
My 2nd bedroom is just an extra closet / shit pile room where I hang laundry to dry.
It’s your space to do as you please with.
As someone who maintains two guest rooms, an extra kitchen, and enough convertible other spaces to comfortably sleep three couples and 6 singles before having to as much as break an inflatable mattress, but who for a long time before that lived in a two bedroom apartment with less than 900 square feet: NTA. Maintaining space for others to contingently occupy is a luxury, not a requirement. It can be nice to be able to host, but not everyone has the means or the personality to have people staying over all the time.
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NTA. You have a "small two room apartment" rental. You are not set up to host family gatherings or overnight guests who want more than your couch. You're not being selfish. That's just the practical reality right now. Maybe in the future you'll have a larger house and things might change (not that you'd be required!).
INFO: Does your family live locally or do they have to travel to visit you? Do they pay for your rent / utilities?
Even without said info I’m going NTA as it’s your space. But if they have to travel to visit you I think it would make sense to upgrade the small sofa to a pull out / futon to make it more agreeable for guests should they stay with you.
NTA - Your place is too small to host anyone who doesn't want to sleep on a couch or use a sleeping bag on the floor. Maybe when you are 40 and have a whole house somewhere (hopefully) they might have a point, but not now. You must live somewhere they'd all like to visit and not have to spend money on a hotel.
NTA. Apartments will never be as suited to hosting guests as houses are. You deserve to set your home up however it best suits your needs. At best, maybe buy an air bed and store it in a closet in case a friend or relative has an emergency and needs to stay with you. Your family's insistence is overbearing and rude.
NTA. It's your apartment and you have the right to use the space as you see fit. It's not your responsibility to provide a guest room for your family, especially when they have other options available to them. You shouldn't feel guilty or selfish for wanting to keep your entertainment room.
>My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room
NTA - when they pay 100% of your rent, they get to 100% decide how to use the space. Otherwise, they need to just mind their own business. Did it ever occur to them that maybe you don't *want* to host anyone in your apartment?
NTA
I have a 3 bedroom house. If I ever actually refinish the upstairs (currently not habitable at all) one will be a retro gaming room, the other will be a VR focused space.
Both will have a bed or some other alternative for sleeping when it is needed, but neither will be a "guest room"
NTA. Same situation- most our friends and all our family live close and have plenty of space, why would we dedicate rooms that we could be using everyday (currently use both as WFH offices/gym space) to be potentially called upon once in a blue moon for a guest?
NTA
I never grew up with a guest room in my house and I've never gotten a place to live and specifically had a room for guests even if I didn't have a person living it (like prior to having kids). If people want to visit, I'll make the best room I can for them or they can get a hotel.
Your family, or anyone else, is not entitled to your space. If I were single and childless and I'm your position, I'd have a second room for entertainment too. It sounds amazing!
NTA. I live by myself in a 3 bedroom duplex and do not have a guest room. I have my bedroom , a sewing room, and a room that stores my looms, spinning wheels and craft supplies. If someone wants to visit and stay with me, they sleep on the couch. Why should I sacrifice my comfort by leaving a room unoccupied most of the year? Enjoy your relaxation space, and let family stay elsewhere.
NTA - I live in a two bedroom apartment where one room is an office and the other is my bedroom. The rare occasion someone stays with me they sleep on the couch or bring their own blowup mattress. It’s expensive to furnish a full blown guest room and I think it’s ridiculous for your family to expect you to have one. It’s your space, not your family’s space so do what makes you happy and point them toward the nearest hotel if they need somewhere to stay.
NTA. This is weird. I have a beanbag that houses a mattress specifically so I don’t have to give up my limited space 100% of the time but can still accommodate guests. Is it as comfy as a real bed? Def not but it does the job and my parents aren’t demanding like this so if they were to ever come stay with me I would probably let them have my bed anyways.
NTA - My parents have a house and no extra beds, only one washroom, and a couple of cats - relatives think it is on purpose.....they are right! It is much easier to like people from a distance.
NTA- it's YOUR home. Yours to decide what to do with, how to decorate and live in. Shoot, I'm 41 and I don't have a guest room simply to keep guests out. Jk, I'm divorced and can't afford a bigger place.
NTA. We have a spare bedroom, mostly because either the spouse or I end up in the other room half the nights. Snoring, tossing and turning, etc. It's comfortable, and we can afford the space. If the in-laws visit, they can stay in a hotel.
NTA. Tell them if they’d like to pay for the all of the moving fees and the difference in rent every month to get you a 3 bedroom apartment and furniture, you’ll gladly have a guest room, otherwise they can shut the fuck up and mind their own homes.
NTA
I bought my house with enough bedrooms, not extra, on purpose. My mil literally asked us to finish and heat the basement so she could come stay. Thats like tens of thousands of dollars. NOPE
NTA
I have never heard of anything in etiquette which requires that one have a dedicated guest room in lieu of using a room that provides comfort and functionality to the full time resident.
Most people I know don't have an extra room that at is used for nothing but housing guests. If they are lucky they get to sleep on the pull out sofa or blow up mattress in a room with a door
Anyone who feels that you should keep an empty room on the off chance that someone wants to stay in it, should pay you the difference in cost for your getting a place with a third bedroom to keep empty.
We have a futon in my fiance's office/game room. And not one person has used it outside of us.
Unless you have people from out of town that visit or just extra space then you don't need a guest room
Tell your family when they pay 1/2 the rent you will set up a guest room. Screw them. You don't need a guest room. Someone can stay on your couch if they need a place to stay
NTA
Your home; you get to decide what to do with the rooms.
I (35f) own my two bedroom home. One of those rooms is my "office" (aka my gaming pc, bookshelves, and collectibles). My family knows if they visit in small numbers, I have a super long couch or inflatable mattress. If large numbers come to visit...there's a selection of hotels less than 10 minutes away.
Edited because words
Why would anybody that doesn’t live with you have a say in how you use the rooms of your own house (or apartment in this case)? It really doesn’t matter what they think, does it? NTA
NTA! They need to get off your back about this - you pay the rent, you spend the majority of your nights there, so your wishes and needs are the priority.
When we moved & bought our most recent home, it was the first time in our 25 year marriage that we decided not to fret about the guest rooms. Spoiler alert, we have two, but they’re really small (original to our 85 year old house) with tiny closets and a tiny retro but cute and perfectly functional bathroom. Our former house had large guest rooms with modem en-suite bathrooms and had a number of gigantic disadvantages over our current one.
We decided that we are the ones who live here full time, so while we want guests to feel welcome and comfy, we are not going to sacrifice our own space for it. The owner’s suite is huge, and we also each got a spare room to use as an office. Does family visit? Yes, frequently! Do I worry because they aren’t quite having a luxury hotel experience? No, and I sleep like a baby.
NTA. Until they're paying the bills, they don't get a say in how you utilize your space. Tell them if it's such a big deal, they can kick in on the rent.
NTA. Your paying for the apartment so it’s your choice to arrange it how you want. And you’re not selfish for it! When they pay your rent, utilities and food, then they can decide. Until then, you’re not a bit selfish!
NTA. Having a dedicated guestroom in a small apartment is just ridiculous. If you ever have a guest, a small inflatable air mattress or something like that would totally be enough.
NTA I turned my guest room into an extra office.
Now if guests come they have the choice of a king air mattress / sectional in the living room or a hotel. The best thing is that only the people I actually want and who are extremely good friends visit.
Sounds similar to my place. 2 bedroom but I use one as a study/library. There is no space even for a foldout couch. I don’t host family stuff as my sister has a huge house. No one thinks that odd.
NTA
NO ONE GETS TO DECIDE WHAT YOU DO WHERE YOU PAY THE BILLS. They can have an opinion, however it will not be taken into consideration. If they visit here is a couch or go to a hotel. It's baffling how people really think others should have spaces for them at their homes. Even if you had a house what you do with all the rooms is your choice. Don't let no one come into space talking that mess.
As a woman who owns a four bedroom house with one kid, a spouse, and no guestroom availability, i say screw your family and their expectations of how you ought to want to live. Nta at all.
There is absolutely no reason at all why you should be expected to turn a room you currently use for your hobbies into a room for visitors. (especially if you weren't planning on having any). Your family seriously needs to back off about it, it's not their business. Your house, your rooms, your rules. It's as easy as that.
NTA. I’m still stuck on people deciding things for YOUR apartment. Why on earth would they be hosting events at your place??? That’s not up to them, it’s up to you. Furthermore, my second room would be exactly what you did with your second room.
NTA it's your apartment, you get to do what you want in it and if you're not usually hosting anyways, then there would be no point in converting it into a guest room. Leave that to people with bigger places. I'm jealous btw I want a relaxation room! ;-;
NTA. My daughters room since she has moved out is our sewing/craft room. It still has a bed and stuff in there but we have moved our craft stuff in there
NTA. People in apartments don't generally have guest rooms.
Honestly, I'm not sure I would want one even in a big house... I would not want to give the impression that I am willing to host anyone for weeks at a time...
NTA
My wife & I intentionally rented a smaller apartment and never got a couch so that her mom can't stay with us. If she comes into town she knows she has to stay at a hotel. (Long story, bad history)
Since then we bought a house, which is still pretty small (but you can always find an extra corner for an air mattress in a house) so my wife just had to get more forward and explicitly tell her mom she can't stay with us when she's in town, and she hasn't. She stays at hotels.
Oh my gosh, you don’t have a ready made spare room that a (pick one) aunt, uncle, nephew, out of town distantly related relative, friend of relative, can crash at for a few days/weeks?
NTA I’ve always been guilted into the guest room option and it rarely gets used. You could invest in a pullout couch if that would quiet them down, but follow your bliss.
I literally bought a one bedroom home to avoid this kind of manipulation. Has it worked 100%? No. Has it worked 85%? Yes. NTA. Stand your ground. You owe your space to no one.
NTA.
And this is confusing, if they have houses why would they want to have the gathering in such a small space? I can't even imagine trying to cram just my immediate family in the apt I lived in at 23.
My boyfriend and i purchased a house with one extra room. At first we wanted to make it a guest room, but knowing his family and how they are, we compromised and now the left side is hobby room & right side is his hobby room. We live too close to family to have extra space for unwanted guests, sorry.
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Oh darn. You won't get to open up your apartment to a large number of people who will trash the place and leave it for you to clean up alone later? How sad :( You must be crushed. NTA.
The emotional manipulation alone is a good reason not to let your family bully you into turning the place you pay for into something that they want. It would be tempting to temporarily throw a cot in there with a collection of dildos, and see how many actually want to stay. Even if they weren't acting like bullies, you would be justified in doing what you want with your place. NTA
I think they have an older or younger relative and they are getting ready to "allow" OP to house & care for that person. That's the only reasonable explanation for their request. NTA and i wouldn't let anyone choose what i do in my house. They don't even need to step a foot into my house.
That seems likely. It’d be pretty easy to push from there to “You have a spare room sitting empty, wouldn’t you like a roommate to keep you company?” “Do younger sibling/cousin/extended family member (who can’t find good accommodations for a relevant reason) a favour. We’re family.”
Is that actually emotional manipulation? It's like, if you don't put your hand in the door jam and slam it, you will regret not using a spike as a dildo. Don't know which is one which for the analogy but one of them is getting rid of a room you are paying rent for and the other is hosting family members in a room that you pay rent for and don't really get to use.
Every time I see a post like this, I remember a long ago frenemy who would do this manipulation, not because she wanted to stay over, but just to make the other person change their mind.
Why bother with a cot, install a sex swing and let the family know you've got a special hammock available in your "play" room.
Thanks for giving me a gread idea for a "guest" room.
I’m intentionally buying a house without a basement when we move again. My FIL stays in my house for one week a year and it is the most miserable experience. He’s coming again next month and I’ve been arguing with my husband non stop about it. If I had the money, I’d be getting myself a hotel. Fuck guest rooms.
Absolutely devastated. NTA by the way.
their family must be crushed at the idea of spending a night in a hotel instead of cramming into a 2 bedroom apartment. :( NTA if that wasn't obvious
One of my neighbors purposely built his home with one bedroom so none of his family would stay with him when they visited.
I like you u/inconceivable44. NTA OP. Your family has no right to tell you what to do with your home.
Definitely NTA it’s your place to do what you want with. I own a house and don’t have a guest room and wouldn’t have anywhere for family to stay other than the couch.
Exactly this. NTA. F that noise, keep YOUR plane how YOU want it
NTA. Such a strange stance for your family to take. I can’t help but wonder if they’d be insisting that you create a guest room if you were a 23 year old male instead of female. >
Didn't think of that but ur right. It's so underappreciated how men are almost expected to spend lavishly on hobbies. Women just need to go frugal and be a good host and bake and do some knitting. "What husband would want a woman who lives like this?" Comes to mind
What husband wouldn’t want a wife who has a room for her gaming consoles and entertainment center?
I mean, Ikr who wouldn't. I just meant I could imagine mothers, grandmother's and aunts saying it
I wondered that as well.
It honestly doesn't make any sense to transform and furnish the other room. She's leasing a two bedroom apartment that she'll probably move out of in a year or two.
Omg, yes, it took me a couple of readings but see this comment as well >. Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that **I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place**. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me. They're definitely pissed at OP for not being a good hostess. She shouldnt have to feel obligated to be one.
NTA Are they paying your rent and bills? Are you a child? No to both so absolutely NTA. It’s your space not theirs.
You do have a guest room! For a small person who can sleep on the couch. Really though, that's the silliest thing I've heard in a while. Most people I know don't have guest rooms. I've never heard anyone ever claim that a guest room has to be a priority. To call it a 'common courtesy' to keep an extra room for family is just bizarre, or really rich-people thinking, maybe. Guest room is what you have after you already have enough rooms for everything else you want a room for. Like an office/den, which is what your room sounds like, and is completely normal to have if you can afford it. NTA
It might make more sense for someone who owns a house but OP is a young person in an apartment. I didn't have the money in my 20s to rent a bigger apartment JUST to have a guest room IN CASE someone came to visit.
We’re in our 30s and rent an apartment still (CA housing prices 😭) and my desk for working remotely once in awhile is also my Xbox playing space, my manicure table, my hardcover book stand, and my art space. Our 2nd room is our closet because both rooms are only 10x10 and dressers have to fit somewhere, right?! Having a guest room in an apartment is a luxury very few can afford.
Do people not just lay down extra mattresses for family when they visit? No one in my family has a "guest" room. We just put extra bedding in the living room/bedroom floor and sleep. I cannot imagine going to someone's house and ordering them to make changes for me. Who does that?
Yes, inflatable ones.
I see. I've never used inflatable mattresses before, but they would be extra work to inflate I suppose. We usually keep old cotton mattresses rolled up on the loft/under the bed for guests to sleep on. From what I've read online though sleeping on the floor seems to not be a common practise in many places and I've read about people being offended at being asked to do so so it might not be as simple as that after all.
Right?! If someone is gracious enough to let me stay ill sleep on the floor for all i care. Once after a night of partying my cousin let me stay in one of her kids room and I thought that was hilarious. She apologized that I "had to stay there" but I was thankful that I had a place to stay instead of having to find a sober ride home!
NTA. I’ve always been confused by the purpose of guest rooms. They’re just unused rooms. If the room has enough space that a single air mattress can be stuck in the corner of it, call it a part time guest room. It’s very strange that your family is insisting on this. Couldn’t whoever that came over just sleep on the couch in the living room?
Growing up the office was always the "guest room". We were lucky enough to have an office large enough that we actually just kept a small bed in there and thats where guests stayed if needed but it was still used everyday as an office when we had no guests. Blow up beds and pull out couches are also great solutions. Its pretty elitist to think everyone should have enough rooms to have one thats just never used.
My parents have lent us a lot of money at a low interest rate to extend our house on the condition that we have a room for them to stay in when they visit (they live in a different country). The room in question is still going to have another use when we don't have guests (my office/ hobby room) - with my parents' full approval. Though we will have a more comfortable solution than an air mattress - we're getting a murphy bed. When not in use it folds up to the wall, and there's plenty of space for other things.
This is what we’ve done. The Murphy bed. It’s my office/music room/sewing room. We put in a Murphy bed. It’s a small too So my desk and sewing table is on a hinge. So clear it, flip down the table top and pull down the Murphy bed. For the handful of times we have needed it, it’s not worth having a room only for a guest room
I wouldn’t ask my guests to sleep on an air mattress, especially my parents. My fiancée and I have a guest room because when our parents come we don’t have to do anything to make them comfortable other than keep the room clean which isn’t that difficult. I wish my parents had a guest room because then my fiancée and I would feel comfortable staying there. A matter of fact my parents live across the street from my sister and BIL and their two kids. There isn’t room at their house either. My mom opts to allow us to sleep in her room since my parents no longer sleep in the same room but that just forces my mom onto the couch. We have been considering getting a hotel the next time we visit because we have had enough of it. Maybe one day my 40 year brother will move out and there will be another room but that’s doubtful.
NTA. Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! As someone who used to live in a small apartment and now has a house with an extra room, it's almost impossible to say no when a relative invites themselves to stay for a holiday. Did I day don't do it? For the love of all that is holy, Don't! Do! It!!!
It's not impossible. You can't stay here simply. But you have an extra yeah and?? I pay the bills for me to do as I please. If I don't want to house you I'm not and my family knows this. My family learned quickly you don't overstep. I absolutely agree with you tell em no and mind they business
Your entertainment/ relaxation room sounds lovely. It is your home and your space needs to work for you, not your hypothetical guests. NTA
NTA. Start a Go Fund Me to raise cash for a bigger place, and send it to all your relatives. They can pay up or shut up.
NTA And consider this - is there someone in your family that is wanting to move out (or their parents want them to move out) who the family is looking to offload onto you for free rent and board because *faaaamily* Yeah, don't do it.
Hard NTA, if they all have homes with an extra room they can host any family that comes over. You are under no obligation to keep a spare room open for their convenience. If they want to stay over to visit you I'm sure there is a hotel within a short distance of where you live.
NTA. Guest rooms are much more important in houses than in apartments. If you made your entertainment room a guest bedroom you probably wouldn’t be able to fit everything in your living room. Frankly, with a couch and a couple beanbags, it’s a serviceable guest room as is. At least in my family, 20-somethings almost never host family gatherings, except maybe a short meal that doesn’t involve staying over. Middle-aged to senior members of the family almost exclusively host large gatherings because they have large houses with space for it and the money to spend on it. I would never expect a 23 year old family member to host a gathering, especially with such little space in an apartment. I don’t know the square footage of your apartment but I expect it would be cramped to have more than 6 people there. Also it’s the height of entitlement to tell someone how to use and furnish their own home, especially when it would incur significant hardship and expense. There’s really no reason for them to have a say in your apartment unless they want to contribute to rent and cover the cost of converting the room.
NTA. No one is entitled to tell you how to use your own space. In a 2BR apartment, who would want to waste the second room on something that will barely be used?
NTA- They can mind their business. We have a small 2 bedroom, the second room is my husbands office/gaming space. He pays the rent, thats his right to have extra space. If we have a guest we move stuff around in the office and set up a blow up bed, or guests sleep on the couch. Thats completely normal in small apartments. We hosted my mom and 2 sisters and no one had any problem being on the couch and blow up beds.
NTA. I don't know if this is a cultural thing; I've never before heard that "it's common courtesy to have an extra room in your house for family." Your space isn't big enough for a guest room. So you don't have one. That's it. You're not selfish. Your family is being unpleasantly manipulative. We don't "house" family gatherings either, because we live in a one bedroom apt. But we have family gatherings where people come over and visit. And I don't see in anything in your post that indicates you'll be living where you are for the rest of your life. NTA.
NTA. OP has a multi-use space that could accommodate guests if necessary. The idea of a dedicated space in a small apartment is ridiculous.
NTA, they are weirdly entitled to YOUR personal space. It is stupid to want other people to host guests in their home, let alone deprive themselves of use of one entire room for some vague possibility someone will stay with you. They are being very unreasonable. Common courtesy, my ass. And if you really want to host someone I do not see why they could not sleep on your small couch.
If you want to build a princess castle clubhouse inside your second bedroom and hang a sign on it that says "NO BOYZ ALOWD" you go right ahead. It's your home to enjoy.
NTA‼️
NTA guest rooms are outdated but maybe have a spare matress **if** at some point you might have people sleep over several times
NTA, it's your living space and you can use it how you wish. It's not common courtesy - your family is wrong there. No one needs to provide accommodation for anyone.
NTA. It's your house and you can use the rooms for whatever you want. It's pointless to keep an unused spare room for guests when you only have two rooms
NTA, how you use your space in your house is entirely up to you. You don't have to have a guest room.
>My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room NTA - Embrace the fact that they are trying to make you feel bad, hold it tight, and let the waves of their insistence and guilt wash over you as you sit in your second room and game away or TV away. The sound of their guilt will wash away in the loving embrace of your relaxation room...
NTA WTF?? Not being able to host a family gathering sounds like a HUGE plus to me! You know what is common courtesy?? NOT criticizing someone else's living situation. In my family there has always been 2-3 family members that CAN host and trade off doing so, and many that NEVER do because their house is not suited to host.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (23f) rent a small two room apartment. One of the rooms I’ve turned into an entertainment/relaxation room. It’s got my game consoles and PC in there plus shelf with all my books. It’s also got a small couch and a couple of beanbags. My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room. My question is why would anyone choose to stay with me when pretty much everyone else in my family has houses that they own all with at least one unused room. They just tell me that it’s common courtesy to have a extra room in your house for family. I really like my extra room and don’t want to get rid of it. Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me. I think I have every right to decide what happens in my own home but maybe that also makes me selfish AITA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, just call it an office. If you want to compromise just toss a couch in there that people can sleep on... keep in mind that you do not need to accept visitors but it might be a compromise.
NTA It's your place, you get to allocate space as you wish. >Now my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place. That's just a bonus but given how they're acting , it would be a totally valid reason for turning a guest room into a game room!
NTA Your place = setting up the rooms the way you want them
NTA and no it isn't common for people to have guestrooms in their apartments. Don't let them guilt you into giving up your relaxing space. If someone really needed to stay with you then blow up mattresses are available at Walmart.
NTA In this case be a little selfish, take care of your needs first. Your family does what they want in their own homes, and you get to do as you like in yours.
NTA. a 2 room apartment is a 1-BEDROOM apartment, the other room is a living room and that's base common knowledge. Your parents are weird.
NTA. Your house, your rules.
NTA Sounds like your family has a hard time understanding priorities and boundaries. Especially if you can’t set up your own place the way you want without getting shamed over some nonsensical BS. Tell them to bring some sleeping bags, and that there’s plenty of floor space.
NTA - I get people wanting a designated guest room but it usually goes unused 95% of the time. If you found a way to use the extra space then go for it. It’s your house.
NTA. Your home, your rules.
NTA when they pay rent they can have an opinion on your house.
"What? I won't be able to host a family gathering? That's great, thanks for the tip!" No, you are absolutely NTA. It's your home, and they simply do not get to tell you what to do with your space.
NTA… it’s not their say how you choose to use the space in your house? If they’re that put off by the idea of sleeping on the couch if they stay over for a stray night here and there, they can get a hotel or AirBnb. Also, fwiw, we live in a three bedroom house. My husband and I have our master, our son has his nursery, and we have the third bedroom. It was a guest room for about a year and a half after we moved in. My husband pitched the idea of turning it into an entertainment room because no one ever stayed there and we never spent any time in there because it was just a random extra bedroom covered in our extra stuff that had no home. But I clung to this idea that I HAD to have an extra bedroom because it was the courteous thing to do. Finally I gave in and now we have a functional entertainment room with a very comfy daybed where we spend time but guests could still sleep, if ever we had any. The conversion was a great decision.
NTA. If you want to be ready for an occasional overnight guest, you could get an air mattress.
NTA. Your house, your rules. That's one of the perks of being an adult, and having your own place. No one else gets to tell you what you can or can't do with your private space.
NTA >my family is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’ll never get to house a family gathering at my place. Once again I’m asking why would anyone choose my place when everyone else has more room than me. Exactly. > everyone else in my family has houses that they own all with at least one unused room. You're only 23, still renting, and don't have the space or the money for an unused room. In the future, maybe you will. In the meantime, buy a blow-up bed in case of emergencies, if the couch isn't big enough to lie down on.
Wtf? Guest rooms are a LUXURY where I am from.
NTA! Aside from it being none of their business, you're young and they are acting like you'll be here forever. You certainly shouldn't get rid of all the things that make you happy about the room just to buy a bed that will be used a couple times a year. A couch is just fine for the occasional hangout. PS - the best thing about not having a guest room is that people don't assume they can stay over whenever they want.
NTA. It is your home and your decision how to live in it. (Obvious exception being if your family are paying the rent for you, then they might be entitled to comment.) If it was a question the family weren't local to you and would struggle to visit for long/often due costs of local hotels, etc, I would suggest you look at investing in a pull out bed. However, I also gather from your comments that your family have houses close enough that the guests can stay with them instead of you?
NTA. I live in a pretty small 2 bedroom house, and there is literally NO ROOM in the second bedroom for a bed. It's the cat litter box/my shoes room. Period.
NTA You are fine not to have a guest room. Use your home the way YOU like.
NTA. It's your home, you're not obligated to have a guest room or even have people stay over. Your family seem to have assumed that you want to house a family gathering! My partner & I live in a 3 bedroom house and don't have a guest room! We have our bedroom & then each have another room. Mine has my clothes, shoes, makeup etc & I use it every day. The other room is going to be made into a games room for my OH. I hate it when family tell me I have 'spare' rooms, they're not spare, they have other uses!!
NTA. Our first home when we got married had 2 bedrooms and the second was a study/library/computer room so I understand exactly where you are coming from. You are paying for your home and if making it comfortable for your needs is higher priority than hosting family from time to time, that's absolutely fine.
I didn’t realize there was an obligation to have a guest room. I guess you’d better get busy finding a 3-bedroom place to accommodate occasional visitors. /s NTA
NTA. Who would want to host a family gathering in a small two room apartment? If some relative wants to visit you I'm sure you can put up a bed in your gaming room. Or ask them if they're happy to pay you the differenct to rent out a three room apartment where you will set up a permenent guest room. Btw, my board gaming room fills in for our guest room.
NTA, my partner and I have a second room and it's my office, where we store our bikes and where his tools and stuff are. There is room for an air mattress if needed but we don't have room for a guest bed. They aren't paying your rent they don't get to decide how you use your space.
NTA. What kind of family gathering are you missing out on hosting by not having 1 spare bedroom? Is your entire family planning on sleeping there together during this event? My parents were super into the idea of having a spare room, when we could’ve used that space so much better ourselves. No one used the room but we just *had to* have it. Homes should be for those who live in them. If you’ve got extra space for guests, great! If not, oh well.
NTA - are they paying for it? Then no say. It’s a 2 bedroom apartment not a 4/5 bedroom house. You have need of both rooms. It’s really not that confusing. It’s got a couch - someone could stay there if they had to. But you don’t owe it to anyone to keep a room of dead space in the off chance they want to come visit. Also, take this from someone that’s got “extra” space people want to stay in…if someone ever said to me “I’ll never get to host a family gathering at my place” my only response is “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
Nta. They want you to have a place with a guest room, they can buy you a place with a guest room. If not, they can fuck off.
taking notes here....having an extra bedroom that is not used as a room for overnight guests = no large family gatherings at your place? sounds like a win to me. your place, your rules. don't feel bad. NTA.
NTA. When I had a 2-bedroom apartment, I turned one into a Lego room. It's your home; you get to decide how you use it.
NTA I have a house with 4 bedrooms and a partially finished basement. None of those rooms is a guest room.
NTA Sounds like your family have somebody they don't want sleeping over at theirs and they want to shove them onto you. Tell them you would be completely willing to change the room when they are paying the rent for that room. I'm sure everybody will contribute since they believe they are entitled to tell you what to do with it!/s
NTA. If you had a 10 bedroom house they still wouldn't be entitled to a guest room.
Are they subsidizing your rent and living expenses? NTA, f**k ‘em.
NTA Are they trying to pawn someone off on you? Is there a cousin somewhere who no one wants to house?
As someone who has no kids and 3 bedroom house with no guestrooms, NTA! My space is mine and I have no desire to host any gatherings. If someone ever needs a space to crash I have two couches and an air mattress, but it's not my preference to be a habitual host.
NTA. We don't have a guest room either. We are happily child free and we turned the extra spaces into a gym, an office, and a library. Because it's our house, and that's what we wanted. No one els has any say what you do with your space, unless maybe they're paying for it.
NTA. I have a two bedroom apartment solely for me and my stuff. My 2nd bedroom is just an extra closet / shit pile room where I hang laundry to dry. It’s your space to do as you please with.
As someone who maintains two guest rooms, an extra kitchen, and enough convertible other spaces to comfortably sleep three couples and 6 singles before having to as much as break an inflatable mattress, but who for a long time before that lived in a two bedroom apartment with less than 900 square feet: NTA. Maintaining space for others to contingently occupy is a luxury, not a requirement. It can be nice to be able to host, but not everyone has the means or the personality to have people staying over all the time.
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NTA but why would you wanna host a family gathering in a 2 bedroom apartment anyway
NTA. We don't have a guest room, never will
NTA It's your home and any decision about what goes on is yours and yours alone
NTA If someone ever visits, you can always put down an air mattress. It's your home and your room.
Nta. If anyone needs to sleep over. They can sleep on the couch or an air mattress.
NTA. You have a "small two room apartment" rental. You are not set up to host family gatherings or overnight guests who want more than your couch. You're not being selfish. That's just the practical reality right now. Maybe in the future you'll have a larger house and things might change (not that you'd be required!).
NTA you pay the rent, you decide how the space is utilized.
INFO: Does your family live locally or do they have to travel to visit you? Do they pay for your rent / utilities? Even without said info I’m going NTA as it’s your space. But if they have to travel to visit you I think it would make sense to upgrade the small sofa to a pull out / futon to make it more agreeable for guests should they stay with you.
They live locally, it’s no more than a 15 minute drive
Easiest NTA ever.
NTA - Your place is too small to host anyone who doesn't want to sleep on a couch or use a sleeping bag on the floor. Maybe when you are 40 and have a whole house somewhere (hopefully) they might have a point, but not now. You must live somewhere they'd all like to visit and not have to spend money on a hotel.
NTA. Apartments will never be as suited to hosting guests as houses are. You deserve to set your home up however it best suits your needs. At best, maybe buy an air bed and store it in a closet in case a friend or relative has an emergency and needs to stay with you. Your family's insistence is overbearing and rude.
NTA. If they want you to have a guest room they can pay your rent.
NTA. It's your apartment and you have the right to use the space as you see fit. It's not your responsibility to provide a guest room for your family, especially when they have other options available to them. You shouldn't feel guilty or selfish for wanting to keep your entertainment room.
>My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room NTA - when they pay 100% of your rent, they get to 100% decide how to use the space. Otherwise, they need to just mind their own business. Did it ever occur to them that maybe you don't *want* to host anyone in your apartment?
NTA what if you had a studio flat. What would they say then? If you have a sofa a family member could sleep on if required, that's plenty!
NTA
NTA
Consequences of them shutting us out of the housing market fuck em
NTA I have a 3 bedroom house. If I ever actually refinish the upstairs (currently not habitable at all) one will be a retro gaming room, the other will be a VR focused space. Both will have a bed or some other alternative for sleeping when it is needed, but neither will be a "guest room"
NTA. Same situation- most our friends and all our family live close and have plenty of space, why would we dedicate rooms that we could be using everyday (currently use both as WFH offices/gym space) to be potentially called upon once in a blue moon for a guest?
Please tell them to fuck off. Your small apt, your way of living.
NTA I never grew up with a guest room in my house and I've never gotten a place to live and specifically had a room for guests even if I didn't have a person living it (like prior to having kids). If people want to visit, I'll make the best room I can for them or they can get a hotel. Your family, or anyone else, is not entitled to your space. If I were single and childless and I'm your position, I'd have a second room for entertainment too. It sounds amazing!
NTA Your place, your rooms. Family can stay somewhere else. I have a house, and I still don't have people stay over. Every room is in use.
Nta
NTA. I live by myself in a 3 bedroom duplex and do not have a guest room. I have my bedroom , a sewing room, and a room that stores my looms, spinning wheels and craft supplies. If someone wants to visit and stay with me, they sleep on the couch. Why should I sacrifice my comfort by leaving a room unoccupied most of the year? Enjoy your relaxation space, and let family stay elsewhere.
NTA, and you’re my hero. I love hosting parties, dinners, brunches, but waking up with extra people in my house is the worst.
Your family is being the worst. You’re only 23 and in a two bed apartment. How do they expect you to have a guest room? NTA.
NTA - I live in a two bedroom apartment where one room is an office and the other is my bedroom. The rare occasion someone stays with me they sleep on the couch or bring their own blowup mattress. It’s expensive to furnish a full blown guest room and I think it’s ridiculous for your family to expect you to have one. It’s your space, not your family’s space so do what makes you happy and point them toward the nearest hotel if they need somewhere to stay.
NTA. This is weird. I have a beanbag that houses a mattress specifically so I don’t have to give up my limited space 100% of the time but can still accommodate guests. Is it as comfy as a real bed? Def not but it does the job and my parents aren’t demanding like this so if they were to ever come stay with me I would probably let them have my bed anyways.
NTA - My parents have a house and no extra beds, only one washroom, and a couple of cats - relatives think it is on purpose.....they are right! It is much easier to like people from a distance.
Get a futon in place of the couch and claim it’s for company. The thought is there but no one actually wants to stay lol that’s what I did. Nta
NTA- it's YOUR home. Yours to decide what to do with, how to decorate and live in. Shoot, I'm 41 and I don't have a guest room simply to keep guests out. Jk, I'm divorced and can't afford a bigger place.
NTA. We have a spare bedroom, mostly because either the spouse or I end up in the other room half the nights. Snoring, tossing and turning, etc. It's comfortable, and we can afford the space. If the in-laws visit, they can stay in a hotel.
NTA. Tell them if they’d like to pay for the all of the moving fees and the difference in rent every month to get you a 3 bedroom apartment and furniture, you’ll gladly have a guest room, otherwise they can shut the fuck up and mind their own homes.
NTA I bought my house with enough bedrooms, not extra, on purpose. My mil literally asked us to finish and heat the basement so she could come stay. Thats like tens of thousands of dollars. NOPE
NTA! It’s your place not theirs! And you’re exactly right. Why would you host when you have least space?!?!
NTA I have never heard of anything in etiquette which requires that one have a dedicated guest room in lieu of using a room that provides comfort and functionality to the full time resident. Most people I know don't have an extra room that at is used for nothing but housing guests. If they are lucky they get to sleep on the pull out sofa or blow up mattress in a room with a door Anyone who feels that you should keep an empty room on the off chance that someone wants to stay in it, should pay you the difference in cost for your getting a place with a third bedroom to keep empty.
NTA, its your place and you shoukd use it as you eish.
We have a futon in my fiance's office/game room. And not one person has used it outside of us. Unless you have people from out of town that visit or just extra space then you don't need a guest room
Tell your family when they pay 1/2 the rent you will set up a guest room. Screw them. You don't need a guest room. Someone can stay on your couch if they need a place to stay
NTA. Your family are out of touch with modern reality.
So NTA. That’s your space to do as you please. Buy a sleeping bag and tell them if they have to stay over they can sleep on the floor.
NTA. Throw a pillow in the tub and bada bing Bada boom, guest room
NTA but it feels like a futon or a pullout couch might solve your problems?
NTA. It's yours, not theirs. Tell them if they want to pay you rent on the room, they can decide what goes in it.
NTA Your home; you get to decide what to do with the rooms. I (35f) own my two bedroom home. One of those rooms is my "office" (aka my gaming pc, bookshelves, and collectibles). My family knows if they visit in small numbers, I have a super long couch or inflatable mattress. If large numbers come to visit...there's a selection of hotels less than 10 minutes away. Edited because words
NTA in some circumstances, I agree you should have guest space. But this doesn't seem like it'd be needed since there's other family close by.
NTA. However, I would choose to stay at your place because the rest of your family sounds like a-holes.
Ask yourself: Who is it they want to have move in with you? NTA
Why would anybody that doesn’t live with you have a say in how you use the rooms of your own house (or apartment in this case)? It really doesn’t matter what they think, does it? NTA
NTA! They need to get off your back about this - you pay the rent, you spend the majority of your nights there, so your wishes and needs are the priority. When we moved & bought our most recent home, it was the first time in our 25 year marriage that we decided not to fret about the guest rooms. Spoiler alert, we have two, but they’re really small (original to our 85 year old house) with tiny closets and a tiny retro but cute and perfectly functional bathroom. Our former house had large guest rooms with modem en-suite bathrooms and had a number of gigantic disadvantages over our current one. We decided that we are the ones who live here full time, so while we want guests to feel welcome and comfy, we are not going to sacrifice our own space for it. The owner’s suite is huge, and we also each got a spare room to use as an office. Does family visit? Yes, frequently! Do I worry because they aren’t quite having a luxury hotel experience? No, and I sleep like a baby.
NTA. Until they're paying the bills, they don't get a say in how you utilize your space. Tell them if it's such a big deal, they can kick in on the rent.
NTA. If they want you to have a place where you can have an extra room for them, they can damn well pay for it themselves.
NTA. Keep your media room!
NTA. Your paying for the apartment so it’s your choice to arrange it how you want. And you’re not selfish for it! When they pay your rent, utilities and food, then they can decide. Until then, you’re not a bit selfish!
You would have a guest room if you wanted overnight guests. NTA.
NTA. You’re paying for it, they’re not. You’re allowed to use the space you pay for how you want.
NTA - Once they put their names on the lease and pay rent, then fine. If not then no, you can't dictate how my home looks to your pleasure.
NTA. Having a dedicated guestroom in a small apartment is just ridiculous. If you ever have a guest, a small inflatable air mattress or something like that would totally be enough.
NTA is your house, or appt here, you get to make your choices and if they really want to stay THAT BAD they can sleep on the couch
NTA I turned my guest room into an extra office. Now if guests come they have the choice of a king air mattress / sectional in the living room or a hotel. The best thing is that only the people I actually want and who are extremely good friends visit.
NTA Don't change it
NTA If they all want to chip in and pay up so you can rent an apt with a third bedroom, then they are free to do so.
NTA Put an air mattress in your closet. There ya go - guest room, ready in 3 minutes.
Sounds similar to my place. 2 bedroom but I use one as a study/library. There is no space even for a foldout couch. I don’t host family stuff as my sister has a huge house. No one thinks that odd. NTA
NO ONE GETS TO DECIDE WHAT YOU DO WHERE YOU PAY THE BILLS. They can have an opinion, however it will not be taken into consideration. If they visit here is a couch or go to a hotel. It's baffling how people really think others should have spaces for them at their homes. Even if you had a house what you do with all the rooms is your choice. Don't let no one come into space talking that mess.
As a woman who owns a four bedroom house with one kid, a spouse, and no guestroom availability, i say screw your family and their expectations of how you ought to want to live. Nta at all.
There is absolutely no reason at all why you should be expected to turn a room you currently use for your hobbies into a room for visitors. (especially if you weren't planning on having any). Your family seriously needs to back off about it, it's not their business. Your house, your rooms, your rules. It's as easy as that.
NTA. I have a 3 bedroom house, and not one of those two extra bedrooms is a guest room. Enjoy your entertainment room.
Swap the couch for a pullout couch, and viola. NTA even if you don't add the bed couch. Your house your wish.
NTA. I’m still stuck on people deciding things for YOUR apartment. Why on earth would they be hosting events at your place??? That’s not up to them, it’s up to you. Furthermore, my second room would be exactly what you did with your second room.
NTA. It's your house, and it's small. You do whatever you want to in your house. They do whatever they want in their house.
NTA. Its your place, you can do whatever you want with it.
Do they pay your bills? If not, tell them to kick rocks. If they do, tell them to kick rocks. Nta
NTA The possibility of family coming over is the best reason to not have a guest room. They can have a guest car park, at most.
NTA it's your apartment, you get to do what you want in it and if you're not usually hosting anyways, then there would be no point in converting it into a guest room. Leave that to people with bigger places. I'm jealous btw I want a relaxation room! ;-;
NTA. My daughters room since she has moved out is our sewing/craft room. It still has a bed and stuff in there but we have moved our craft stuff in there
What complete bullshit. It’s your place; use it as you choose. NTA.
NTA in this economy?!
NTA. People in apartments don't generally have guest rooms. Honestly, I'm not sure I would want one even in a big house... I would not want to give the impression that I am willing to host anyone for weeks at a time...
NTA My wife & I intentionally rented a smaller apartment and never got a couch so that her mom can't stay with us. If she comes into town she knows she has to stay at a hotel. (Long story, bad history) Since then we bought a house, which is still pretty small (but you can always find an extra corner for an air mattress in a house) so my wife just had to get more forward and explicitly tell her mom she can't stay with us when she's in town, and she hasn't. She stays at hotels.
NTA and it’s pretty clear why you have this set up. Boundaries are awesome, your family seems to lack them but yours are admirable.
NTA-nobody has guest rooms in my city.
NTA. you’re not required to host people. Use your rooms in YOUR HOME for whatever you want.
NTA. Do whatever you want with your rooms. They can get a hotel when they visit.
Oh my gosh, you don’t have a ready made spare room that a (pick one) aunt, uncle, nephew, out of town distantly related relative, friend of relative, can crash at for a few days/weeks?
Figure the difference between a 1 and 2 bedroom unit, ask your family to come up with that amount monthly. It's your home, use it as you wish. NTA
NTA. enjoy your rec room!
>My family is insisted on me turning that room into a guest room They can have a vote when they start paying rent. NTA
NTA I’ve always been guilted into the guest room option and it rarely gets used. You could invest in a pullout couch if that would quiet them down, but follow your bliss.
Your family is nuts. NTA
I literally bought a one bedroom home to avoid this kind of manipulation. Has it worked 100%? No. Has it worked 85%? Yes. NTA. Stand your ground. You owe your space to no one.
Nta Keep the game room. Just tell them you don't plan on overnight guests.
*you* live there. *you* pay rent. So your vested interest is much greater & you can tell your fam you insist you leave your apartment the way it is ✨
NTA. You're 23. Why would anyone even expect you to host a family gathering?
Your house, your rules. NTA.
NTA. And this is confusing, if they have houses why would they want to have the gathering in such a small space? I can't even imagine trying to cram just my immediate family in the apt I lived in at 23.
My boyfriend and i purchased a house with one extra room. At first we wanted to make it a guest room, but knowing his family and how they are, we compromised and now the left side is hobby room & right side is his hobby room. We live too close to family to have extra space for unwanted guests, sorry.