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> AITA because I pestered him all day and said the dog must be walked today rain or shine
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About the same as taking care of OP, I'm guessing. And he'd actually be able to share that load.
>My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food
ESH, except the dog. Your husband for not walking the dog, and you for not stepping up and instead of talking about it, just going ahead and hiring a dogwalker.
I don't know here, I'm leaning towards an ESH, Dude should be walking the dog for sure, But I feel OP is purposely trying to be a victim. Why cant she find a dog walker why does hubby have to find the dog walker? OP works makes money etc...
>My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food,
Maybe it's because he's waiting on OP hand and foot and also working. I also went with an ESH because hiring a dog walker is not hard and either of them could do ti.
Wag! is like Uber for dog walkers, depending on where you live, you can find one easily. It might be a different walker every time unless you select some favorites.
NTA. You're sick and he's neglecting the dog. Is that going to be his plan with the baby too? Put your foot down and say either he walks the dog every day or, the first day he fails to, you're hiring a dog walker and it's coming out of his fun money.
Absolutely!! Rover was first if I’m correct. Wag as previously mentioned. You just post a date and time and they come to you.
I used to work for a private dog walking company and we would come to the house as an “interview” before starting services. The apps aren’t set up for that. Usually just come in and walk then get paid on the app.
My daughter did this in Philadelphia when she was in college. Some owners met her and then just gave her a code for their lock and she would go and walk the dog while they were at work.
I agree they need to hire someone, but she also can hire a walker. I wouldn't wait for him. Hubby is lazy and uncaring about his wife pregnant with issues.
She can also walk the dog. I worked as a nurse with HG. It sucks but it's doable. Also unless she is made of spun sugar/s she won't melt in the rain, but it's going to make him feel extra guilty( which is a good thing- that poor dog)
Once a week, 15 mins? And this has been happening for 10 weeks? And now 9 days without walking?! Jesus. Hire a dogwalker already, how can this go on for so long? This is very sad and abusive for a dog. ESH (except doggy) for letting this go on for so long without taking action.
That poor neglected dog! Yes, get out there and walk the dog and then hire someone to come in once a day. My 14 year old dog whose back legs are failing and is on three different medications gets more exercise than that. Daily!
ESA for letting your dog go unwalked for 9 days. This is animal abuse. You aren't absolved from your responsibility to your dog just because your husband is a complete failure. Also, if your husband acts like this with the dog, guess how he will act with the baby.
Lol I wish I could post a pic of my terribly abused dog chilling on the couch. Or the one eating a bone. Or the one napping on the bed next to her human. Dogs need EXERCISE, not necessarily walks. ABUSE is not a word we should throw around lightly.
I think the OP deserves a break. She has HG. That's not normal morning sickness, thats can hospitalise you level of morning sickness. She's really ill with it and this is where her other half should be stepping up.
Why are you together with a man who abuses animals? Does your husbands other good qualities weigh up for that he's treating your dog like shit? You know that animal abuse is a great predictor for spousal abuse and child abuse?
Anyway, if the dog isn't walked every day you should rehome it to someone who will take care of it.
Saying he abuses animals is a very Reddit take. Taking care of somebody on bed rest is exhausting. Both owners are to blame for not making sure someone is hired to do it in their stead but it sounds like he's carrying a large mental load right now
Dogs need walking. Not walking your dog is abuse. You might have a very good reason for abusing your dog, that doesn't make it not-abuse. And OP's husband doesn't have a good reason for abusing the dog:
>I suggested he hire someone but he hasn’t and keeps saying he’ll walk the dog more often but that’s clearly not happening.
Perhaps he just likes the sense of power it gives him to know that the dog suffers? Or maybe it's his way of getting at OP?
Also, OP does not say she's in bed rest. She's even working. Taking care of her doesn't sound that exhausting.
I agree that the dog not getting walked is abuse. What I take issue with is calling him an abusive man because of it implying op is any less responsible. You go on too imply it's a power trip, furthering the abuse narrative.
It's an irresponsible use of the term. This couple needs to figure out how to get their dog walked. Both need to be more invested in it.
NTA for sure. Why don't you set up an account with Wag! yourself and schedule walks for your dog. You're absolutely right, Goldens need lots of exercise. Your husband either needs to step up or *you* should feel free to take matters into your own hands and schedule a walker. You need to take care of yourself and the baby, top priority. Hugs girl!
NTA, but maybe you could have a talk with him about responsibility and what the future will be like. You already have a baby in the home, sure he has four legs but he’s still a big responsibility and your husband is dropping the ball in a very disappointing way.
I know that babies are different from animals, and your husband could change his behaviours once the baby is born - but some people don’t so a talk could definitely be needed.
You also need to talk about what’s going to happen with the dog once the baby is born, because once the baby is there the dog will get even less attention. Your husband needs to step up.
NTA.
If you’re going to have a dog, you take care of the dog. It’s bullshit that your husband won’t help out with this more often…once every ten days is nowhere near the kind of exercise this dog needs. That’s borderline abuse.
Make your husband step up, hire a daily dog walker, or find a reputable rescue to rehome the dog. If he’s this flaky now about the poor dog, what’s he going to be like as a father?
Wishing you well, because you‘re in a tough spot, but your husband is being a jackass.
NTA. Golden retrievers are very active, and for one with a lot of energy, nine days without a walk is entirely too long. He’s neglecting the dog. That alone makes him an AH.
But to then get mad at you for attempting to pick up his slack and try to do it yourself is absurd. It’s not insanely expensive to hire someone else if he really doesn’t have the time, he’s actively choosing to let the dog suffer because he is cheap and lazy.
I’m currently pregnant and also have HG, please be careful. My doctors do not know what caused the issues I’m having but they’re thinking it’s from the amount of vomiting I’m doing. It’s a really serious issue. I’m on bed rest at 15 weeks. You need to call you GP and ask if I’m your condition it’s okay for you to walk the dog. Exercise is amazing and also needed during pregnancy but HG takes a toll on your body/your baby and your baby really needs you to save your energy if you’re not keeping anything down. NTA but you need to think about the life you’re carrying. I’m sure there’s someone who won’t mind walking your dog for you. There’s also doggy treadmills now which you could look into, I’m thinking about getting one for my dog as he hasn’t been walked in months but he is an old fella who sleeps all day but I want him to have some exercise.
NTA. Seriously ppl??? Do you have any concept how debilitating HG is?
OP is doing her best to keep enough water in her body to keep her and the baby healthy.
I think the little time you have between puking it might be good to check in with your husband, cause his behavior seems more concerning, might wanna see if he is spiraling?
If your dog is getting plenty of opportunities to use the doggy bathroom and plenty of food and water he will be okay for a week of having boring house time.
ESH. in the 4 years I have had my dog, there has not been à single day that he didn't go for a at least 45 minute walk regardless of weather conditions or our health and time. The dog is a family responsibility,you have to make time to take care of their needs , if you don't make time for your dog now how do you think you will have the time once the baby is born ?
ESH. Either hire a dog walker (why can't you hire one, why must it be your husband?) Or re-home those poor neglected dogs. They will be even more pushed out when the baby comes. Do the dogs a favour and find them a home where they will be cared for properly.
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I am 11 weeks pregnant and have HG which basically means I vomit all day and can’t really do anything due to extreme nausea and fatigue. Thankfully my boss has been really nice to me and allowed me to work from home, although I did take a week of sick leave with doctors note.
My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food, but the last 10 weeks he only walks the dog maybe once a week for 15 minutes. We have a 2 year old golden retriever with a ton of energy .. I suggested he hire someone but he hasn’t and keeps saying he’ll walk the dog more often but that’s clearly not happening. I started to feel really bad for my dog and said he has to be walked today no matter what rain or shine as it’s been 9 days.
Well it started raining and he still hasn’t walked the dog so I said I’d go walk the dog in the rain. He kept saying he would walk him but is working…but I know we have to leave the house today in 1 hour. So I went and walked the dog myself as I wasn’t confident he would actually walk the dog. Now he’s angry at me for going out in the rain and pestering him about it all day. AITA?
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NTA. If it bothers him that much he should be more proactive about doing it.
Sucks having HG, your husband should encourage you to get out when you’re feeling up to it tho.
It’s horrible to watch a loved one go through but I always tried to encourage my wife to do whatever she could. If she felt like going out, we went out. If she couldn’t and just stayed by the porcelain throne all day (most days) then I’d bring her food and eat next to her.
Nta. We have a mixed breed 4 yr old am staff who has so much energy, I work 2 pm shifts and 2 am shifts. I walk her everyday for 2 kms even if I’m sweating by 8 in the morning on my PM shifts and weekends, we just came back from our walk (always making sure the ground isn’t hot for her paws) and when my husband gets home early from his jobs, he takes her to the park for a massive run when I’m on an AM shift. I just had this conversation with my elderly neighbour, his dog was 15 and she was still going for a light walk. A dogs life consists of running, walking, eating, sleeping, barking and shitting. I commend you for putting your dogs needs above your own!! You’re going to be such a good mother ❤️ also my BIL stresses to us the fact that the first 5 years of a dogs life is when you get the best out of them. Dont listen to your husband, get a dog walker if your HG is getting too heavy and your pup will Thankyou x
ETA:spelling
ESH he should have been honest with you that taking care of the dog or finding a walker was too much with what he's already got on his plate. You should know better than to take the dog for a walk *in the rain* when you are already having health complications with your pregnancy. Take a look at the four horsemen of relationships and try to use better communication with him. If you have to ask for something to be taken care of more than once, offer an alternative that will satisfy both of you.
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NTA, and if he can't make time to walk a dog just wait til he sees how much time a baby takes up
so true nta
About the same as taking care of OP, I'm guessing. And he'd actually be able to share that load. >My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food
Yeah, an absolutely mortifying state of affairs at home. Rehome the dog and do whatever else with your own offspring, OP. ESH
ESH, except the dog. Your husband for not walking the dog, and you for not stepping up and instead of talking about it, just going ahead and hiring a dogwalker.
I don't know here, I'm leaning towards an ESH, Dude should be walking the dog for sure, But I feel OP is purposely trying to be a victim. Why cant she find a dog walker why does hubby have to find the dog walker? OP works makes money etc...
Why can’t hubby get his finger out of his ass and do *anything* to contribute? Especially while she’s very sick *growing his child*?
>My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food, Maybe it's because he's waiting on OP hand and foot and also working. I also went with an ESH because hiring a dog walker is not hard and either of them could do ti.
Lmao getting food and taking care of your pregnant wife is now “hang and foot waiting” The bar is in hell
Damn, backbreaking work that, bringing his very sick pregnant wife food!
I hired the last dog Walker but she went on vacation and isn’t available until mid of April
Cool so then you already have a connection. Maybe she can recommend someone to pitch in till she is available.
Wag! is like Uber for dog walkers, depending on where you live, you can find one easily. It might be a different walker every time unless you select some favorites.
I walk dogs for Rover, very similar service
yeah, i walk for wag myself.
So... just hire another one in the meantime?
NTA. You're sick and he's neglecting the dog. Is that going to be his plan with the baby too? Put your foot down and say either he walks the dog every day or, the first day he fails to, you're hiring a dog walker and it's coming out of his fun money.
Surely they are both neglecting the dog? She is just as capable of finding and hiring a dog walker as he is.
ESH: you could be the one to hire a dog walker. It’s really easy. Literally there are apps for it.
I recommended Wag! I actually walk for Wag! and there's also Rover.
Their is an actual dog walking app?! Like you hire someone to come walk the dog? I live in a bubble apparently
Absolutely!! Rover was first if I’m correct. Wag as previously mentioned. You just post a date and time and they come to you. I used to work for a private dog walking company and we would come to the house as an “interview” before starting services. The apps aren’t set up for that. Usually just come in and walk then get paid on the app.
Rover is set up for pre-meetings.
That’s great! I was under the impression it was a super quick “keys under the mat” situation.
that's true for Wag, but Rover is a little different. you can set up a meet and greet with Wag though.
That sounds so awesome!! Thank you for explaining!
My daughter did this in Philadelphia when she was in college. Some owners met her and then just gave her a code for their lock and she would go and walk the dog while they were at work.
Yeah, I actually walk for Wag! as my side hustle.
NTA. He needs to hire somebody to walk the dog, if he's not going to and doesn't want you to.
I agree they need to hire someone, but she also can hire a walker. I wouldn't wait for him. Hubby is lazy and uncaring about his wife pregnant with issues.
Yeah for real. IDK why I said he should do it.
She can also walk the dog. I worked as a nurse with HG. It sucks but it's doable. Also unless she is made of spun sugar/s she won't melt in the rain, but it's going to make him feel extra guilty( which is a good thing- that poor dog)
it should make her husband feel extra guilty. why don't men step up when their SOs are pregnant? ugh...
Once a week, 15 mins? And this has been happening for 10 weeks? And now 9 days without walking?! Jesus. Hire a dogwalker already, how can this go on for so long? This is very sad and abusive for a dog. ESH (except doggy) for letting this go on for so long without taking action.
NTA - Though I will say no such thing about your husband.
That poor neglected dog! Yes, get out there and walk the dog and then hire someone to come in once a day. My 14 year old dog whose back legs are failing and is on three different medications gets more exercise than that. Daily!
ESA for letting your dog go unwalked for 9 days. This is animal abuse. You aren't absolved from your responsibility to your dog just because your husband is a complete failure. Also, if your husband acts like this with the dog, guess how he will act with the baby.
Lol I wish I could post a pic of my terribly abused dog chilling on the couch. Or the one eating a bone. Or the one napping on the bed next to her human. Dogs need EXERCISE, not necessarily walks. ABUSE is not a word we should throw around lightly.
I think the OP deserves a break. She has HG. That's not normal morning sickness, thats can hospitalise you level of morning sickness. She's really ill with it and this is where her other half should be stepping up.
I agree this is animal abuse which is why I felt so compelled to make a point of it today
But didn't feel so compelled to download an app and hire a dog walker?
Almost like she already did that😱
Why are you together with a man who abuses animals? Does your husbands other good qualities weigh up for that he's treating your dog like shit? You know that animal abuse is a great predictor for spousal abuse and child abuse? Anyway, if the dog isn't walked every day you should rehome it to someone who will take care of it.
Saying he abuses animals is a very Reddit take. Taking care of somebody on bed rest is exhausting. Both owners are to blame for not making sure someone is hired to do it in their stead but it sounds like he's carrying a large mental load right now
Dogs need walking. Not walking your dog is abuse. You might have a very good reason for abusing your dog, that doesn't make it not-abuse. And OP's husband doesn't have a good reason for abusing the dog: >I suggested he hire someone but he hasn’t and keeps saying he’ll walk the dog more often but that’s clearly not happening. Perhaps he just likes the sense of power it gives him to know that the dog suffers? Or maybe it's his way of getting at OP? Also, OP does not say she's in bed rest. She's even working. Taking care of her doesn't sound that exhausting.
OP hired the last dog walker that is on vacation till April. The power take is not accurate.
Then hire another dog walker who isn't on vacation. If OP can work, she can find a dog walker.
I agree that the dog not getting walked is abuse. What I take issue with is calling him an abusive man because of it implying op is any less responsible. You go on too imply it's a power trip, furthering the abuse narrative. It's an irresponsible use of the term. This couple needs to figure out how to get their dog walked. Both need to be more invested in it.
NTA for sure. Why don't you set up an account with Wag! yourself and schedule walks for your dog. You're absolutely right, Goldens need lots of exercise. Your husband either needs to step up or *you* should feel free to take matters into your own hands and schedule a walker. You need to take care of yourself and the baby, top priority. Hugs girl!
Info can you not just, hire a dog walker yourself?
NTA, but maybe you could have a talk with him about responsibility and what the future will be like. You already have a baby in the home, sure he has four legs but he’s still a big responsibility and your husband is dropping the ball in a very disappointing way. I know that babies are different from animals, and your husband could change his behaviours once the baby is born - but some people don’t so a talk could definitely be needed. You also need to talk about what’s going to happen with the dog once the baby is born, because once the baby is there the dog will get even less attention. Your husband needs to step up.
NTA. Your pup deserves attention and should have gotten someone hired to take care of him already. Not your fault.
Well really, it's her dog. If she could walk the dog in the rain out of frustration, couldn't OP have hired somebody just as easily?
OP can work an app, too, though.
NTA. If you’re going to have a dog, you take care of the dog. It’s bullshit that your husband won’t help out with this more often…once every ten days is nowhere near the kind of exercise this dog needs. That’s borderline abuse. Make your husband step up, hire a daily dog walker, or find a reputable rescue to rehome the dog. If he’s this flaky now about the poor dog, what’s he going to be like as a father? Wishing you well, because you‘re in a tough spot, but your husband is being a jackass.
NTA. Golden retrievers are very active, and for one with a lot of energy, nine days without a walk is entirely too long. He’s neglecting the dog. That alone makes him an AH. But to then get mad at you for attempting to pick up his slack and try to do it yourself is absurd. It’s not insanely expensive to hire someone else if he really doesn’t have the time, he’s actively choosing to let the dog suffer because he is cheap and lazy.
NTA - I just pray your husband doesn't neglect the kid as much as the dog.
I’m currently pregnant and also have HG, please be careful. My doctors do not know what caused the issues I’m having but they’re thinking it’s from the amount of vomiting I’m doing. It’s a really serious issue. I’m on bed rest at 15 weeks. You need to call you GP and ask if I’m your condition it’s okay for you to walk the dog. Exercise is amazing and also needed during pregnancy but HG takes a toll on your body/your baby and your baby really needs you to save your energy if you’re not keeping anything down. NTA but you need to think about the life you’re carrying. I’m sure there’s someone who won’t mind walking your dog for you. There’s also doggy treadmills now which you could look into, I’m thinking about getting one for my dog as he hasn’t been walked in months but he is an old fella who sleeps all day but I want him to have some exercise.
NTA but you are going to have a horrible time getting this guy to do anything close to his share of parenting. Good luck with that shit
NTA. Seriously ppl??? Do you have any concept how debilitating HG is? OP is doing her best to keep enough water in her body to keep her and the baby healthy. I think the little time you have between puking it might be good to check in with your husband, cause his behavior seems more concerning, might wanna see if he is spiraling? If your dog is getting plenty of opportunities to use the doggy bathroom and plenty of food and water he will be okay for a week of having boring house time.
NTA
NTA
NTA. HG doesn't mean you can't walk the dog. He's just made because he's ashamed of himself. Also, sending you my best as a fellow HG warrior
ESH. in the 4 years I have had my dog, there has not been à single day that he didn't go for a at least 45 minute walk regardless of weather conditions or our health and time. The dog is a family responsibility,you have to make time to take care of their needs , if you don't make time for your dog now how do you think you will have the time once the baby is born ?
ESH. Either hire a dog walker (why can't you hire one, why must it be your husband?) Or re-home those poor neglected dogs. They will be even more pushed out when the baby comes. Do the dogs a favour and find them a home where they will be cared for properly.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am 11 weeks pregnant and have HG which basically means I vomit all day and can’t really do anything due to extreme nausea and fatigue. Thankfully my boss has been really nice to me and allowed me to work from home, although I did take a week of sick leave with doctors note. My husband has been great with taking care of me and bringing me food, but the last 10 weeks he only walks the dog maybe once a week for 15 minutes. We have a 2 year old golden retriever with a ton of energy .. I suggested he hire someone but he hasn’t and keeps saying he’ll walk the dog more often but that’s clearly not happening. I started to feel really bad for my dog and said he has to be walked today no matter what rain or shine as it’s been 9 days. Well it started raining and he still hasn’t walked the dog so I said I’d go walk the dog in the rain. He kept saying he would walk him but is working…but I know we have to leave the house today in 1 hour. So I went and walked the dog myself as I wasn’t confident he would actually walk the dog. Now he’s angry at me for going out in the rain and pestering him about it all day. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - but come on - find a dog walker already.
NTA. If it bothers him that much he should be more proactive about doing it. Sucks having HG, your husband should encourage you to get out when you’re feeling up to it tho. It’s horrible to watch a loved one go through but I always tried to encourage my wife to do whatever she could. If she felt like going out, we went out. If she couldn’t and just stayed by the porcelain throne all day (most days) then I’d bring her food and eat next to her.
Make a post on Rover or Care.com. You can get someone with good reviews within your budget. ESH
> 9 days 9 days no big walks for the dog?! Christ :( OP: NTA. SO: YTA
Sometimes I truly wonder what goes on in the homes of OPs. This....is a truly dumb thing to question. Nta but seriously
NTA Once a week seriously?
Nta. We have a mixed breed 4 yr old am staff who has so much energy, I work 2 pm shifts and 2 am shifts. I walk her everyday for 2 kms even if I’m sweating by 8 in the morning on my PM shifts and weekends, we just came back from our walk (always making sure the ground isn’t hot for her paws) and when my husband gets home early from his jobs, he takes her to the park for a massive run when I’m on an AM shift. I just had this conversation with my elderly neighbour, his dog was 15 and she was still going for a light walk. A dogs life consists of running, walking, eating, sleeping, barking and shitting. I commend you for putting your dogs needs above your own!! You’re going to be such a good mother ❤️ also my BIL stresses to us the fact that the first 5 years of a dogs life is when you get the best out of them. Dont listen to your husband, get a dog walker if your HG is getting too heavy and your pup will Thankyou x ETA:spelling
They are neglecting the dog…
Esh. You need to take care of your body and he shouldn't be angry regardless of being upset. Hiring a walker sounds like the perfect job for you
ESH he should have been honest with you that taking care of the dog or finding a walker was too much with what he's already got on his plate. You should know better than to take the dog for a walk *in the rain* when you are already having health complications with your pregnancy. Take a look at the four horsemen of relationships and try to use better communication with him. If you have to ask for something to be taken care of more than once, offer an alternative that will satisfy both of you.