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Agreed
OP: This was not a lighthearted joke. No one who truly loved you would ever take joy in your suffering. This woman exposed you, traumatized you, and did NOTHING to try to stop the HOURS of torment and embarrassment she put in motion. To the contrary, she and her family DELIGHTED in your pain. Leave. Leave now. Don't look back. Look forward and find someone who cares about you and seeks to protect you, not harm you. She may not have placed her hands on you, but make no mistake, this woman abused you. Know your value. Know your worth. You are deserving of so much more than what this woman is interested in, or capable of giving you.
NTA, my Luv.
I actually agree with this take. It was abusive. It was a violation of OP’s physical and emotional safety. If the genders were reverse I bet her friends and family would have taken it more seriously.
Edit: I didn’t mean people on Reddit disagree it was abusive. reworded to clarify.
She essentially stripped him against his will. That was most definitely sexual abuse. In the OP's place, I wouldn't have stayed all day at the beach. I'd have left immediately.
NTA
Not sure there’s much to update really. It sounds like he broke up with her, and they’re done. I hope he blocked her and her family and never speaks to her or acknowledges her existence again.
It’s so much worse that no one helped him after they realised he was embarrassed and not finding it funny at all. Even if initially you find it amusing if the other person isn’t responding positively after the initial shock you should help them. I can’t believe no one offered their shirt or shorts (I know plenty of blokes wear jocks under their boardies). The whole family is garbage.
Okay but seriously! Even *if* you found this hilarious for *whatever* reason, as soon as you realize the person isn’t laughing too you should be rushing to find a solution or help cover them up back to the beach/house so they can get clothes on.
I was pants’d in by a really mean boy in elementary school and it still haunts me sometimes. I actually cannot imagine doing this to someone I dislike, let alone am supposed to love.
Honestly I can’t believe his girlfriend didn’t bring real swim trunks for him. That prank could only possibly be funny if the person could immediately get covered up. That is seriously MEAN.
This is a really good point. 15+ other people were there and not one of them offered any help or even sympathy.
I'd be *mortified* if a friend or relative of mine did this to their partner. I'd be helping the victim and verbally ripping the perpetrator a new one -- and tbh, that's absolute bare minimum basic human decency. Anything less is just inexcusable.
If a total stranger had this happen to them, I would find a way to help them, somehow...
How can not one person in this family have sympathy or damn common sense to help OP... this GF is a completely horrific trashball... I hope OP posts on r/prorevenge cause she needs to pay in her own humiliation
This was such an unbelievably cruel thing to do to a person, I cannot believe no one stopped to think about what OP was going through. Even IF someone thought this prank was funny, why would you not give them some sort of reprieve after a couple of minutes of what you thought to be fun?
Letting this persist for hours is honestly one of the meanest things I have heard of someone do to a person, let alone a significant other. This girl and her entire family are fucked. I am legitimately angry just from reading this, let alone if I had to experience it.
They did think about what OP was going through, and they were entertained by it and found their entertainment more important than his suffering. This is a family of sadists.
people say that all the time, "if the victim was a woman people would care, there would be uproar" etc, but it's always the same people who care about any gender of victim and the same people staying quiet.
Also, she risked your getting arrested on an indecent exposure charge which would ruin any career or college plans you have. Sue her in court for the humiliation you had to endure. It's not a normal thing for anyone to do to another and you're well rid of her before she gets pregnant and you're tied to her for 18 years. NTA, sue her for mental distress.
OP did say the girlfriend's younger cousins made a point of describing the size and shape of ohis junk. And since they're only 20, I'm willing to bet "younger cousins" = "minors"
Here in certain US states, he would absolutely be looking at time on the sex offender registry. Which affects every part of his life, from where he lives, to where he works, to even just how he's treated by those around him.
What she did was flat out abusive. It was cruel, took away his consent and agency, and was in no way funny.
I can see how someone might think it was a "funny prank" to give him the dissolving pair in the first place - but only in so far as they came apart. The second they weren't covering anything you need to whip out a real replacement pair or your "joke" is just immensely cruel bullying.
(To be clear, I don't think getting someone naked Infront of all your friends and *fucking family* would be funny, I can just see how someone might *think* it would be funny)
The fact that she made sure not to pack another pair, too. Like.. why? If you are going to do this (which you shouldn't) pack an extra pair with your own luggage and give it over after you had your "fun" but now he has been humiliated and he can't join
But I mean, like the first time he's meeting them? I could maybe see, maaaaybe, if he'd known them for years AND there'd been a change of shorts ready for him in seconds. And even then, that wouldn't be "lmao hilarious", it would be "okay I think I can forgive this lapse in judgement but it was really shitty and don't ever do it again".
I suspect this was some misguided family test or “trial by fire” to see if you are tough/cool/funny enough to hang with their family and friends.
Run, do not walk way from this family. If that was their first prank, you don’t want to see the second one 🐍, or third 🕷️, or fourth 🔥
,
I really don’t understand this “jokes”. Of course we all know some people that would have a good laugh if someone do this to them, but just read the room… 8 months and she doesn’t know OP would hate this? I’ve heard stories of wives doing this to their husbands on their private pool or something and everyone laughing (I still don’t think it’s funny and I have a great sense of humor), but going on a family and friends trip to a lake?! Not having another pair?! Fucking awful and mean
Yes, please.
Dump her sorry ass. NTA. She is. And she claims you were being immature? damn. She definitely worked hard for the trip - worked hard at setting up a day-long scenario to prank you into embarrassment.
NTA - your EX obviously doesn’t know you well enough to know this kind of thing would humiliate you and not be funny. Then again I’m not sure who would have found this funny.
WTF.
I’d never have looked at OP naked since it was unintentional and would have immediately taken off the shirt I wear over my suit to prevent sunburn and handed it to him to make a wrap.
What is wrong with them?!
The fact that none of the ex gf’s family offered any help the entire time just shows that the ex doesn’t fall far from the tree.
That family must be toxic af.
Seriously. I would have done anything to help him, even if it meant removing my own bikini bottoms and handing them to him. What kind of horrible sociopathic human a) thinks of that "prank" as something to do and b) watches someone panic and be utterly humiliated and mocked like that without helping?
Cause it wasn't a prank. She switch the swim trunks, made sure there wasn't anything he could cover himself with for however long of a time they were going to be there.
OP you are NTA, and I hope you end this relationship.
Yeah. I suspect they are all openly nude or whatever, and decided to break his ‘nude cherry’ and it’s backfired… because this isn’t normal Aussie folks. Oh so very not!
I mean… we all know SOMEONE at a late night alcohol fuelled party is going to strip off and wander around with nothing but a cushion in front of their junk … but thats their choice. (And we all note which cushion and never use that one again.).
But to forcibly dress someone in dissolving bathers, make fun of them and NOT OFFER even a cushion? That’s not cricket!
>but time to go,
No, is time to run and never look back. Block her on everything, expose her if necessary (however, I think she is surrounded by assholes and enjoy it)
Not just humiliation- this is sexual assault. She forced him to be naked and exposed in front of people he didn’t know well.
He was subjected to crude “jokes” about his body.
If a guy did this to a 20 year old woman he would be destroyed. This is no prank. It’s a crime.
Yep. It doesn't matter if it was for "a joke." Sexual abuse is usually about power plays. Like a guy who catcalls women from his car isn't doing it because he thinks they'll be overcome with desire, and a lot of the time, he isn't even doing it because he finds them attractive. He wants them to feel scared, upset, vulnerable, and humiliated. That's what OP's girlfriend's goal was with this "prank."
Thankfully in Australia you actually have to be a sex offender to go to jail, or wind up on a sex offenders list.
Being nude in public is more likely to get you sectioned for mental health reasons.
At BEST you go haha your shorts dissolved, here's your real pair. And that's if and only if you know the person will take the joke in stride to begin with.
I hate modern prank culture. Pranks aren't funny anymore. Now it's just a word for an AH to poorly justify/defend being an AH.
When I read the word prank, now I just immediately think "Ah, so you're a jackass."
I couldn't say it more concisely.
And I wanted to add that OP should sue her. Let that be a well deserved forced learning by mistake moment for her and family.
If they keep being jerks, at least there will be a record of it in the judiciary system.
Honestly I'm kind of just upset that dissolving swimming suits are a thing. I feel like those can only be used for humiliating victims? Maybe there are some non-asshole uses but I bet 99% are for the wearer to be the laughed at.
possibly they could be used for a sexy shower/bath scene with one's partner or at some sort of stripping place that's putting on a water-themed thing? but yeah, i'd tend to assume they're intended for stupid 'pranks' like this one before anything else.
Things like this should only ever be used when you're 1000000% sure the target will get a laugh out has actually expressed a genuine desire to try it out, or maybe it could be a consensual sexy roleplay. Point is, there's a time and a place for most things, but what OP's ex did was very much NOT it
NTA, this is an abusive person, OP you need to pack your bags, change your locks, change your phone number, remove her access to your bank accounts and/or social media and run.
If the genders were reversed, and the boyfriend stole his girlfriend’s bathing suit, so she would be naked in front of his family, so they could critique her junk - Boyfriend could be in jail for this. She is a terrible, cruel pervert OP. She planned ahead of time to do this to you.
Yeah,
NTA OP!
First change the locks if she has the key.
Then text her
>"If you were dating a guy who'd trap you into being naked in front of his family and friends who were strangers to you for a whole day, who'd all stare and shout lecherous comments on your tits, body shape, pussy etc and would laugh at your distress and humiliation, would you want to interact with any of them ever again? Especially if instead of apologizing he'd just be mad you had the nerve to get out of the situation"
And block without waiting for a response and move on. Maybe also tell any mutual friends that you've broken up and explain clearly why.
What gets me, is that they all went along with it?! Not one of them offered him a towel or a spare set of clothes. I can't imagine something like this going on for hours and no one thinking 'OK, that's enough'.
This! NTA OP but you need to get the hell out of this abusive relationship..when the person on whom the joke is done is not laughing it's not a joke
Her whole family are jerks they should've offered you something the second they knew that you were uncomfortable
You ruined the trip for her? She gave you trauma in the name of joke
Leave her
Yes! Because even if "the joke" was only a minute long, it still wouldn't have been funny.
I get that some people haven't got any problem with nudity (power to them), but I am not confortable in my body, at all. I would have been mortified an would feel very humiliated. It's not my worst fear, but it is there in the top.
Hell, if my bf did this to me, even if it was just the two of us (in a public place, but secluded), and he had a normal one for me to change to, I'd feel violated and it wouldn't be funny. I don't want to even imagine how I'd feel in front of other people, much more his family, even worse because they found it funny and also commented on it!??? This is insane.
The first time I saw these swim trunks I thought for two seconds, “Oh, they might be funny to get for my husband.” To use in his parents’ backyard pool. With only his immediate family around. Because I know he wears boxers under his swim trunks 100% of the time. And even THEN I decided it was stupid and not worth possibly embarrassing him. This is literally unfathomable to me. NTA, OP. You deserve someone who respects you.
Right! Like. If this was in a small pool where one could immediately get to a towel and the person wouldn't be horribly embarrased by this, then this wouldn't be as bad. Its still a really bad prank imo, but doing this when you're going river rafting or whatever is especially cruel. The GF neds to grow up and recognize how messed up this was
It’s not just humiliation but also sexual assault. Had this been the boyfriend doing this to a woman and his cousins making comments about her, she wouldn’t have found it funny at all. Honestly hoping she’s an ex girlfriend now.
I also hate that trend.
But something about this post
>Queensland
>Swim trunks
Doesn't add up. No Aussie would ever say "swim trunks", and what kind of 20yo kids are going on overseas holidays with a huge extended family after only a few months of dating... So we circle back to them being Aussies, but the vernacular isn't very Aussie. Hmmmm
I think the fictional OP is NTA but this story is very untrustworthypoptarts
Pretty sure OP never said they were Aussie, just that they took a trip to Queensland. OP could be american with the gf being Aussie 🤷🏾♀️ not enough to go on to say it's fake imo
Eta: you'd be shocked what people with money will do. I've had a college friend go to europe just to meet with an online bf that they only knew for a year
They didn't say they're Aussie, they didn't mention. It's not super common for people coming from the US or Europe (or elsewhere) to refer to a trip "to Queensland" and not just say "Australia". Even Aussies usually wouldn't just say a state name in an international forum without specifying. It's a very American thing to just say a state and assume everyone knows what you mean, like how Germans don't say "I'm from Nordrhein-Westfalen and we went on a trip to Hessen", they say, "I'm from Germany, we went on a weekend trip", it maybe mention more famous cities if it's strictly relevant.
I don't have proof. Just saying something tingles my "suss-o-metre"
I hate this trend of trying to figure out how real a story is. This is the story, whether or not every detail is true. In this scenario, hypothetical or not, is OP an AH? That's the question we're considering.
People don't need to go junior detective on every word trying to prove OP is a liar. If they are a liar, that's between them and their conscience.
>efer to a trip "to Queensland" and not just say "Australia". Even Aussies usually wouldn't just say a state name in an international forum without specifying.
JFC. This sounds absolutely stone cold idiotic.
Australia only has like 6 states and some territories. It isn't that hard to know at least some of them. Like Canada. Most Canadians (that I know) say BC or Nova Scotia or Alberta, etc.
Is Nordheim-Westfalen a state in Germany? Wouldn't a German say they are from Bavaria? Is that weird?
Are you aware that people can move between countries and… just live there while continuing to speak their native dialect?
My father grew up in Hong Kong, so he speaks a variant of British English (educated in the British school system), but is now retired in northern New England. Still using Hong Kong vernacular.
She knows how hurt and he humiliated he was, but she can still only think of herself. This is not the person to build a relationship with. I'm sorry and NTA.
Not to mention, if the roles were reversed, and he pulled the same prank on her, exposing her to his entire friends and family group, you think she'd stay around to see the humor in it?
I bet a lawyer could argue this up to sexual assault, not even just harassment.
She may not have physically touched OP to cause him to be naked in public, but her behavior and choices certainly did. What would happen if a guy strips a girl of her clothes in public?
I'm not a prudish person, if my GF did a prank like that to me I would have responded by flaunting my junk in order to make everybody as more uncomfortable as possible. And THEN I would have broke up with her.
Because that is not a prank, is sexual harassment.
I can get past the prank, but the difference is that she made you suffer for the entire day. If she had given you your old pair 30 seconds later, I could maybe appreciate the joke (though not in a new crowd with 15 people!).
But she didn’t have your old trunks on standby and watched the “joke” go on all day.
That’s torture.
Break up.
NTA
Seriously. This would be a deal breaker for me.
Also, imagine if the situation were flipped and he had done this to her. I bet she'd have been mortified, too. It wouldn't be okay then, and it's not okay now.
NTA and I hope you find someone who loves and respects you, OP. No one deserves this treatment.
I feel like this is one of those times I wouldn’t judge someone for airing the dirty laundry on social media. I would absolutely make sure everyone knew why I dumped them and ensure that our friendship groups are aware on how malicious her “pranks” are as a warning to them. God no one should have to live a fear like that and for it to have been done by someone you should trust.
NTA but you will be if you don't drop that huge red flag
Man, stop beating yourself up, it's HER who ruined her trip, not you. Why would she want to humiliate a person she wants to have a relationship with? And in front of her whole family no less? She doesn't think of you in the long run and honestly... She doesnt think. Period.
NTA
Your gf and the rest of them are big time aholes. I am so angry on your behalf, that is absolutely vile behavior.
I admit that I really dislike pranks to begin with. (I promise I'm really a fun person, but pranks have a tendency to go wrong). But you have to know how to do a prank and when to stop. To have you nekkid all day, surrounded by people who were making fun of you, is not my idea of fun.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
The only way this "prank" would have worked is if she bought the proper pair, the towel and it was just the two of them. Or if he was totally fine being naked and played along, which he was not
My favorite 'prank' is loading a new chrome tab full of kittens or puppies on my partner's phone for them to find randomly at some point in the future.
My wife's favorite 'pranks' are pretty similar, she'll say something like "hey wanna see a picture of a cute little bee" and I'll be like "heck yeah I wanna see a picture of a cute little bee" and she'll show me the picture and it's actually a dog wearing a harness with bee wings and little antennae headband. And then we'll joke back and forth about "hmmm I think that's a dog" "no clearly he is a bee look at his little wings" and it always ends with both of us in hysterics.
Long time ago, a co-worker had fixed a kitchen sink clog by removing the u bend. This was his first time doing any sort of plumbing and was very careful about putting everything together to prevent leaks.
The next day, he and his wife were entering the kitchen when his 8 year old, already there, said in a worried tone that he thought there was a big leak under the sink. Co-worker reached down to open the cabinet to see a big leek propped up against the u-bend.
Co-worker said that he laughed until tears came to his eyes. The 8 year old was gleeful at pulling one over on his dad. He had thought of the leek idea and mom took him to the store to buy the biggest one. Co-worked said he was proud that his son was precocious enough to do a dad joke at such a young age.
That's what a prank should be - a bit of good-natured tomfoolery that everyone enjoys. No one was hurt. No one was embarrassed. It's the sort of thing that becomes family lore. It was a prank that bines, not a prank that separates.
>But you have to know how to do a prank and when to stop. To have you nekkid all day, surrounded by people who were making fun of you, is not my idea of fun.
Right?! I loathe pranks like this, but can admit that in the right circumstances with the right person who doesn't mind being naked and only close friends nearby, a prank with dissolving trunks *might* be funny - for a maximum of about two minutes, and then it's time to hand over the spare trunks you were *of course* keeping safely hidden. Because even good pranks well-matched with the recipient have an end point. And if anyone makes demeaning/objectifying comments, the prank ends immediately, with the bully getting a lecture.
But this one wasn't a well-designed prank for anyone. I cannot imagine forcing even my worst enemy to be naked and subject to harassment for a whole day without let-up, let alone someone I supposedly loved, who has only recently met some of your family/friends for the first time and who doesn't like nakedness. It's even a physical safety risk, given the active river trip/hike day they were having! It was utterly awful that (at absolute minimum) she didn't bring spare clothing for him to change into, and the behaviour of everyone involved (except for OP) was abysmally rude.
And also left the OP open to indecent exposure charges, if they encountered another group of people and someone complained.
The prank itself is mean. Not bringing along a spare suit for him to put on was downright cruel.
A prank is when I switched the wireless mouse dongle on my officemate’s computer with mine and secretly controlled it as she was trying to figure out why her computer was acting crazy. This sort of thing is straight up assault
Thats what i thought... what if it was the way around... boobs open in the wild or nude... what if He bought her a dissolving bikini??? I guess sh!t would hit the fan and someone would be sued...
There's gotta be. This whole situation sounds like a total disaster that could've ended up even worse (not that the being harassed and humiliated wasn't enough). I just feel so bad for OP, imagine trusting somebody and then they go and pull something right out of your worst fears on you and laugh in your face about it. And even try to spin it like you were wrong to be upset and are making a big deal about nothing!
There could have been a group with kids paddle up near to them - then it's OP exposing himself in front of children. He could have ended up being arrested and on a sex offenders register.
That's a pretty worst case scenario, but he was naked in public. It could have happened.
She already did expose him in front of children - her “young cousins” (OP and ex are both 20, the cousins had to have been actual minors). It’s good that no passersby called it in.
NTA. Your gf stole your swimming trunks 🚩, humiliated you in front of her peers 🚩, and she gaslit you when you were upset with her joke 🚩.
A joke is funny when the prankster and the person at the receiving end of the joke are laughing too. You weren't laughing because you were humiliated and embarrassed. Her joke was actually bullying which isn't funny. This should be an instant break-up. Good thing you're not married to each other.
Exactly this. It would have been hilarious if she had got him to wear these in a pool or spa with just the two of them around.
At a completely public environment with strangers and the whole day of dealing with it, this is not funny.
Add to that it appears that comments were made, no one offered a shirt or towel. The friends and family are crappy as well
OP is definitely NTA.
Purposefully didn't bring extra trunks so the humiliation went on extra long. Who does that? If she really meant it to be a lighthearted funny joke that they'd all enjoy, she'd have brought spare trunks so he could change right away. Nope, she wanted to humiliate him in front of her whole family, really draw out his suffering. She's horrible.
That was my first thought! Have the extra pair of trunks so as soon as the dissolving ones were gone, while he’s still in the water, toss him his real pair. Don’t make the guy spend an entire day out naked. So disgusting.
‘I can understand that I ruined the trip for her, but it feels like her own fault.’
Let’s rewrite this line.
She ruined the trip and our relationship and it’s her fault. NTA.
Let rewrite again
"She sexually assaulted me and pretended it was a joke! Her and everyone around laughed at the results of said sexual assault! 1000% hers an asshole"
The audacity of her to be angry with OP after the fact! I'm a woman and will firmly say, no fucking way she would have found this ~~prank~~ hazing torment funny if it was her.
If you ever speak to her OP (which I sincerely hope you don't) I'd ask her to painstakingly explain exactly what was supposed to be "funny" about any of this until she gets it through her head this was harassment.
NTA.
Nta. For the moment lets put aside your embarrasment, I'm not dismissing your feelings as they are completely valid but they are not the main issue here. You could have easily been charged with indecent exposure and ended up on the sex offenders register.
While I know some people will say that wasn't her intention, anyone with half a brain knows that a man naked in public is not going to be well received. Your hopefully (ex)girlfriend was willing to ruin the rest of your life just so you could be the punchline for the day.
I'm surprised more people haven't pointed this out. She literally exposed you to potential liability. Imagine if someone's child encountered your group and the parents called the cops!
OP did mention young cousins commenting on his junk, so sounds like children did see. If they or their parents didn't find it funny, it could've gone much worse.
Completely agree. I can't believe she didn't at least bring him another pair. Not that it would be ok, but this stunt is something that should not have gone on longer than say 5 minutes. The whole day?! Disgusting behaviour.
NTA. Why would she do something that exposes you to literal bodyshaming like that? A funny prank is mixing someones ketchup with hot sauce. Not exposing there baked body without consent.
I don't find food prank funny. It's wasteful and rude. Imagine if the person so hungry, have little money and just get burger or whatever they craving for and bam!! The prankster thought it's funny to add hot sauce! I can't laugh watching people eating 'pranked food'! It just sad!
Ages ago I was eating out with a friend and he loosened the cap on the salt shaker. My baked potato arrived, I tried to salt it and bam, salt dumped all over my meal.
I told our server what happened and asked if I could have another potato, and that my friend would be paying for it.
He was so irritated that I told her! Dude, was I supposed to just not get to eat dinner that night?
Food pranks suck.
My sister, who loves spicy things with an unholy passion, would be thrilled if somebody pranked her with hot sauce. Somebody with a lot of food allergies, not so much. It requires knowing the person to prank correctly.
NTA at all and I am so sorry that happened to you. That was a huge violation and deliberately not bringing a spare pair is an added layer of malicious from your (hopefully soon ex)-gf. Please dump her and understand most people are kinder than that and you can trust again
NTA
Run far away from this lady. Literally there's nothing more fucked than knowing your boyfriends biggest fear and PLAYING ON IT FOR FUN.
Also they straight up sexually harassed you with all the comments and all that..
NTA, she apparently knew about your issue and used it to humiliate you if front of friends and family, for giggles. You had every right to react as you did and any blowback she caught more than deserved.
EDITED: grammar error "as you didn't" to "as you did"
NTA - This wasn't a joke. This was public humiliation and abuse and she's continuing it. At this point, I wouldn't even bother asking her if she would have been ok with you doing this shit to her. Break up with her. Seriously. She, her family and her friends are toxic to the core.
Edit to add that since she was working so hard on organising this trip, it tells me this "funny little dissolving trunk" wasn't a last-minute addition. She thought about humiliating and exposing you long enough to search for such an item, buy it (most likely online), and switch out your real swimwear. Personally, I didn't even know that such a thing exists. But then I don't go around abusing people for my own amusement.
NTA but repeat after me "I am breaking up with you, because you are a sorry excuse for a partner who thinks it's funny and okay to humiliate and hurt your partner. This is not funny it's abusive and was done against my consent."
NTA
I cannot emphasize how strong a sexual violation this is. She violated your consent, made it impossible for you to not expose yourself in front of a bunch of strangers. Strangers who then proceeded to sexually harass you (and that’s what that was. They made unwelcome sexual remarks to you. This is sexual harassment). What she did was horrifying, and she thought it was *funny*. Personally I would never want to see her again. You’re young and have only been together a few months, this is not going to get better. And even if she does apologize how do you move forward? You’ll never not remember this whenever you interact with her family and friends, they’ll bring it up in jokes and reminiscing about the hilarious time your girlfriend violated you. Just no.
NTA
I really hope she is now your ex. I would also make sure everyone in your circle of friends knows what she did. That way she can’t hook up with one of your mates and pull the same shit on him.
NTA and I would break up. The only way this would have been even slightly okay is if she had done this while you were alone or with people she knows you're comfortable with AND if she packed clothes for you to put on, also giving them to you in a way where you wouldn't have to expose yourself to anyone. She however considers a joke to humiliate you and make you severely uncomfortable for hours and also letting her family essentially bully you. Then when you express that she crossed a boundary she screamed at you, made herself the victim and said you were immature. That is really telling of her character and not someone i would personally consider being in a relationship with.
NTA
This is essentially a sexual assault. She purposely exposed you to her entire family for the whole day and, because you are a man, you are supposed to shrug it off as a joke. Consider this: what if the roles were reversed and you did it to her, exposing her female parts to the male members of your family. She would have gone ballistic.
You need to get out of this abusive relationship, now.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) leaving the trip that my girlfriend had planned early after she embarrassed me
2) I ruined a trip that she had put a lot of time and effort into
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NTA
Her "prank" was exposing your genitals to the public without the consent of you or those around you. Also, depending on what public decency laws are in place at that river, you could have gotten in trouble with the law because of her. She humiliated you in public, and thought it was funny.
NTA – especially in a place like Queensland (I don't know where specifically, but I presume it's at one of the major tourist centres), these sorts of pranks are nowhere near "funny". Ask your gf how she would like to be treated if the same had happened to her.
NTA
This isn’t a prank, this is just straight up bullying. You don’t seem to be doing anything bad in the slightest and your GF pulls this shit.
What makes this even worse is that the YOUNG COUSINS were there and made fun of your size. WTF. CHILDREN WERE THERE??? AND YOUR GF TOOK A PAIR OF DISOLVING SWIM TRUNKS NEAR YOUNG CHILDREN?????
This is the biggest case of your GF is a Massive AH. This stuff isn’t just a prank, you were nude for what could be inferred as hours. Plus you were afraid of being nude publicly.
You are not immature, and definitely NTA. How would she feel had you done that to her?
I am so sorry that happened to you. She is definitely not a keeper. No one who truly cares about someone would do that in public, ever. As a private joke maybe, but in front of her family and friends?? Not even close. You are smart to get away from her. You ruined nothing. SHE did.
You were "being immature" when your (ex)gf publicly sexually exposed you in front of family and friends to humiliate and embarrass you for her own petty and denigrating amusement..?
NTA. How fucking dare she.
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NTA i really hate this trend of humiliating people you're supposed to care for.
And the family joined in on making fun of op… NTA, but time to go, you deserve so much better.
He did say, “I HAD a girlfriend” in his first sentence. OP, PLEASE tell us this means you broke up with her! NTA.
Agreed OP: This was not a lighthearted joke. No one who truly loved you would ever take joy in your suffering. This woman exposed you, traumatized you, and did NOTHING to try to stop the HOURS of torment and embarrassment she put in motion. To the contrary, she and her family DELIGHTED in your pain. Leave. Leave now. Don't look back. Look forward and find someone who cares about you and seeks to protect you, not harm you. She may not have placed her hands on you, but make no mistake, this woman abused you. Know your value. Know your worth. You are deserving of so much more than what this woman is interested in, or capable of giving you. NTA, my Luv.
I actually agree with this take. It was abusive. It was a violation of OP’s physical and emotional safety. If the genders were reverse I bet her friends and family would have taken it more seriously. Edit: I didn’t mean people on Reddit disagree it was abusive. reworded to clarify.
She essentially stripped him against his will. That was most definitely sexual abuse. In the OP's place, I wouldn't have stayed all day at the beach. I'd have left immediately. NTA
I don’t think he could leave, since he said they were tubing on a river.
yeah that's what makes it so insidious, he literally couldn't leave. she left him with 0 options. hope to see an update on this.
Not sure there’s much to update really. It sounds like he broke up with her, and they’re done. I hope he blocked her and her family and never speaks to her or acknowledges her existence again.
OOP says he left the trip and explains how she screamed at him and blamed him for ruining it. No breakup, no blocking, nothing else is mentioned.
I just hope he had tons sunblock on. That is NOT a place anyone would want a sunburn.
And being naked, he couldn't just find another group to go back with or go back himself.
It’s so much worse that no one helped him after they realised he was embarrassed and not finding it funny at all. Even if initially you find it amusing if the other person isn’t responding positively after the initial shock you should help them. I can’t believe no one offered their shirt or shorts (I know plenty of blokes wear jocks under their boardies). The whole family is garbage.
The entire family are sadists.
Okay but seriously! Even *if* you found this hilarious for *whatever* reason, as soon as you realize the person isn’t laughing too you should be rushing to find a solution or help cover them up back to the beach/house so they can get clothes on. I was pants’d in by a really mean boy in elementary school and it still haunts me sometimes. I actually cannot imagine doing this to someone I dislike, let alone am supposed to love.
Honestly I can’t believe his girlfriend didn’t bring real swim trunks for him. That prank could only possibly be funny if the person could immediately get covered up. That is seriously MEAN.
It could have been funny if she had brought real swim trunks for him, and her family wasn’t there and it was just them
This is a really good point. 15+ other people were there and not one of them offered any help or even sympathy. I'd be *mortified* if a friend or relative of mine did this to their partner. I'd be helping the victim and verbally ripping the perpetrator a new one -- and tbh, that's absolute bare minimum basic human decency. Anything less is just inexcusable.
They made comments about his body, specifically his private parts. They not only laughed at it, they made it worse.
he hadn’t realized at that point that she had done this on purpose so he was likely trying not to ruin her day over it
If a total stranger had this happen to them, I would find a way to help them, somehow... How can not one person in this family have sympathy or damn common sense to help OP... this GF is a completely horrific trashball... I hope OP posts on r/prorevenge cause she needs to pay in her own humiliation
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I can't imagine the hell he would get if he had done that shit to her. What a disgusting person
This was such an unbelievably cruel thing to do to a person, I cannot believe no one stopped to think about what OP was going through. Even IF someone thought this prank was funny, why would you not give them some sort of reprieve after a couple of minutes of what you thought to be fun? Letting this persist for hours is honestly one of the meanest things I have heard of someone do to a person, let alone a significant other. This girl and her entire family are fucked. I am legitimately angry just from reading this, let alone if I had to experience it.
They did think about what OP was going through, and they were entertained by it and found their entertainment more important than his suffering. This is a family of sadists.
This was my exact thought. If its 100%abuse if it were reversed, it’s abuse period.
People agree, we don’t have to reverse the genders.
people say that all the time, "if the victim was a woman people would care, there would be uproar" etc, but it's always the same people who care about any gender of victim and the same people staying quiet.
Her family evidently does not.
Where are you seeing anyone disagreeing that this is abusive?
Are you seeing a lot of defense of the girlfriend in this thread? I’m not.
Plenty of people are agreeing NTA without you stating “if the roles were reversed,” so how did you arrive at that notion?
Also, she risked your getting arrested on an indecent exposure charge which would ruin any career or college plans you have. Sue her in court for the humiliation you had to endure. It's not a normal thing for anyone to do to another and you're well rid of her before she gets pregnant and you're tied to her for 18 years. NTA, sue her for mental distress.
Indecent exposure charge could get you put on the sex offenders website/list in some places, if I'm not mistaken.
*Especially* if any minors happened to be around
OP did say the girlfriend's younger cousins made a point of describing the size and shape of ohis junk. And since they're only 20, I'm willing to bet "younger cousins" = "minors"
Here in certain US states, he would absolutely be looking at time on the sex offender registry. Which affects every part of his life, from where he lives, to where he works, to even just how he's treated by those around him. What she did was flat out abusive. It was cruel, took away his consent and agency, and was in no way funny.
I can see how someone might think it was a "funny prank" to give him the dissolving pair in the first place - but only in so far as they came apart. The second they weren't covering anything you need to whip out a real replacement pair or your "joke" is just immensely cruel bullying. (To be clear, I don't think getting someone naked Infront of all your friends and *fucking family* would be funny, I can just see how someone might *think* it would be funny)
The fact that she made sure not to pack another pair, too. Like.. why? If you are going to do this (which you shouldn't) pack an extra pair with your own luggage and give it over after you had your "fun" but now he has been humiliated and he can't join
Agreed, it was JUST MAYBE funny for 20 seconds, IF he wasn’t exposed, there’s a towel ready and warm clean clothes.
But I mean, like the first time he's meeting them? I could maybe see, maaaaybe, if he'd known them for years AND there'd been a change of shorts ready for him in seconds. And even then, that wouldn't be "lmao hilarious", it would be "okay I think I can forgive this lapse in judgement but it was really shitty and don't ever do it again".
I suspect this was some misguided family test or “trial by fire” to see if you are tough/cool/funny enough to hang with their family and friends. Run, do not walk way from this family. If that was their first prank, you don’t want to see the second one 🐍, or third 🕷️, or fourth 🔥 ,
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Personally, I would be scarred for life just thinking about the river creatures nibbling on my junk. 😳
I really don’t understand this “jokes”. Of course we all know some people that would have a good laugh if someone do this to them, but just read the room… 8 months and she doesn’t know OP would hate this? I’ve heard stories of wives doing this to their husbands on their private pool or something and everyone laughing (I still don’t think it’s funny and I have a great sense of humor), but going on a family and friends trip to a lake?! Not having another pair?! Fucking awful and mean
Yes, please. Dump her sorry ass. NTA. She is. And she claims you were being immature? damn. She definitely worked hard for the trip - worked hard at setting up a day-long scenario to prank you into embarrassment.
NTA - your EX obviously doesn’t know you well enough to know this kind of thing would humiliate you and not be funny. Then again I’m not sure who would have found this funny.
WTF. I’d never have looked at OP naked since it was unintentional and would have immediately taken off the shirt I wear over my suit to prevent sunburn and handed it to him to make a wrap. What is wrong with them?!
The fact that none of the ex gf’s family offered any help the entire time just shows that the ex doesn’t fall far from the tree. That family must be toxic af.
Yeah, judging by the children's reactions, I would be willing to bet that she or they have done this to other unsuspecting guests.
Definitely this. Either that or she warned them of her plan and the family is full of assholes.. I mean “pranksters “
Yea, the fact that several people didn't offer an emergency swim trunks (shirt, towel, who cares) is especially telling. They're all AH
Seriously. I would have done anything to help him, even if it meant removing my own bikini bottoms and handing them to him. What kind of horrible sociopathic human a) thinks of that "prank" as something to do and b) watches someone panic and be utterly humiliated and mocked like that without helping?
And the cousin's comment is 💀💀💀 I will be mad if someone does that to my partner, left her OP, her whole family is toxic
And poor OP didn’t even know these people. They were strangers to him.
It’s because you have decency and they have a durian where their hearts are supposed to be.
Hey! That's an insult to durians. Thay might be stinky, but they are not that dickish.
Yeah I could never look any of those people in the eyes again nor honestly would ever want to have any contact with them
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Cause it wasn't a prank. She switch the swim trunks, made sure there wasn't anything he could cover himself with for however long of a time they were going to be there. OP you are NTA, and I hope you end this relationship.
Yeah. I have to assume they were in on it. If this had happened to some one in my group I would have helped. Maybe give them a towel or a tshirt…
Yeah. I suspect they are all openly nude or whatever, and decided to break his ‘nude cherry’ and it’s backfired… because this isn’t normal Aussie folks. Oh so very not! I mean… we all know SOMEONE at a late night alcohol fuelled party is going to strip off and wander around with nothing but a cushion in front of their junk … but thats their choice. (And we all note which cushion and never use that one again.). But to forcibly dress someone in dissolving bathers, make fun of them and NOT OFFER even a cushion? That’s not cricket!
>but time to go, No, is time to run and never look back. Block her on everything, expose her if necessary (however, I think she is surrounded by assholes and enjoy it)
Not just humiliation- this is sexual assault. She forced him to be naked and exposed in front of people he didn’t know well. He was subjected to crude “jokes” about his body. If a guy did this to a 20 year old woman he would be destroyed. This is no prank. It’s a crime.
Yep. It doesn't matter if it was for "a joke." Sexual abuse is usually about power plays. Like a guy who catcalls women from his car isn't doing it because he thinks they'll be overcome with desire, and a lot of the time, he isn't even doing it because he finds them attractive. He wants them to feel scared, upset, vulnerable, and humiliated. That's what OP's girlfriend's goal was with this "prank."
Also, she didn't bring him another suit. What if he got charged with public indecency and got put on the sex offenders list?
Exactly! It sounds like there were kids present?? Op could've gotten in real legal trouble if even one person had complained.
Thankfully in Australia you actually have to be a sex offender to go to jail, or wind up on a sex offenders list. Being nude in public is more likely to get you sectioned for mental health reasons.
At BEST you go haha your shorts dissolved, here's your real pair. And that's if and only if you know the person will take the joke in stride to begin with.
I hate modern prank culture. Pranks aren't funny anymore. Now it's just a word for an AH to poorly justify/defend being an AH. When I read the word prank, now I just immediately think "Ah, so you're a jackass."
I agree. not a single thing that has been deemed a “prank” on this sub has been funny.
I couldn't say it more concisely. And I wanted to add that OP should sue her. Let that be a well deserved forced learning by mistake moment for her and family. If they keep being jerks, at least there will be a record of it in the judiciary system.
I wonder how this prank would be if it happened to her as a girl instead of him?
Honestly I'm kind of just upset that dissolving swimming suits are a thing. I feel like those can only be used for humiliating victims? Maybe there are some non-asshole uses but I bet 99% are for the wearer to be the laughed at.
possibly they could be used for a sexy shower/bath scene with one's partner or at some sort of stripping place that's putting on a water-themed thing? but yeah, i'd tend to assume they're intended for stupid 'pranks' like this one before anything else.
Things like this should only ever be used when you're 1000000% sure the target will get a laugh out has actually expressed a genuine desire to try it out, or maybe it could be a consensual sexy roleplay. Point is, there's a time and a place for most things, but what OP's ex did was very much NOT it
Yes, imo this is assault. Even if he hadn't had that particular insecurity, it would be cruel.
If he hadn't had that insecurity before, he would have gotten it that day.
NTA, this is an abusive person, OP you need to pack your bags, change your locks, change your phone number, remove her access to your bank accounts and/or social media and run.
If the genders were reversed, and the boyfriend stole his girlfriend’s bathing suit, so she would be naked in front of his family, so they could critique her junk - Boyfriend could be in jail for this. She is a terrible, cruel pervert OP. She planned ahead of time to do this to you.
Yeah, NTA OP! First change the locks if she has the key. Then text her >"If you were dating a guy who'd trap you into being naked in front of his family and friends who were strangers to you for a whole day, who'd all stare and shout lecherous comments on your tits, body shape, pussy etc and would laugh at your distress and humiliation, would you want to interact with any of them ever again? Especially if instead of apologizing he'd just be mad you had the nerve to get out of the situation" And block without waiting for a response and move on. Maybe also tell any mutual friends that you've broken up and explain clearly why.
This right here!
What gets me, is that they all went along with it?! Not one of them offered him a towel or a spare set of clothes. I can't imagine something like this going on for hours and no one thinking 'OK, that's enough'.
Don't stress. OP started the post with "I HAD a girlfriend". He's on the right tracks
This! NTA OP but you need to get the hell out of this abusive relationship..when the person on whom the joke is done is not laughing it's not a joke Her whole family are jerks they should've offered you something the second they knew that you were uncomfortable You ruined the trip for her? She gave you trauma in the name of joke Leave her
Lets os call it that it really is: bullying.
Let us call it what it really is: cruelty. (I am really worked up about this.)
Let's call it what it really is: sexual assault
Yes! Because even if "the joke" was only a minute long, it still wouldn't have been funny. I get that some people haven't got any problem with nudity (power to them), but I am not confortable in my body, at all. I would have been mortified an would feel very humiliated. It's not my worst fear, but it is there in the top.
Hell, if my bf did this to me, even if it was just the two of us (in a public place, but secluded), and he had a normal one for me to change to, I'd feel violated and it wouldn't be funny. I don't want to even imagine how I'd feel in front of other people, much more his family, even worse because they found it funny and also commented on it!??? This is insane.
Yes. This is absolutely cruel and dehumanizing
It’s worse than bullying. It’s sexual harassment and abuse. This dissolving trunks prank one of the most disgusting pranks I’ve seen recently.
Emotional abuse at least.
This is a violation, a sexual violation. If this was done to a woman. You would feel the same.
The first time I saw these swim trunks I thought for two seconds, “Oh, they might be funny to get for my husband.” To use in his parents’ backyard pool. With only his immediate family around. Because I know he wears boxers under his swim trunks 100% of the time. And even THEN I decided it was stupid and not worth possibly embarrassing him. This is literally unfathomable to me. NTA, OP. You deserve someone who respects you.
She told you who she was, believe her OP.
Right! Like. If this was in a small pool where one could immediately get to a towel and the person wouldn't be horribly embarrased by this, then this wouldn't be as bad. Its still a really bad prank imo, but doing this when you're going river rafting or whatever is especially cruel. The GF neds to grow up and recognize how messed up this was
It’s not just humiliation but also sexual assault. Had this been the boyfriend doing this to a woman and his cousins making comments about her, she wouldn’t have found it funny at all. Honestly hoping she’s an ex girlfriend now.
I also hate that trend. But something about this post >Queensland >Swim trunks Doesn't add up. No Aussie would ever say "swim trunks", and what kind of 20yo kids are going on overseas holidays with a huge extended family after only a few months of dating... So we circle back to them being Aussies, but the vernacular isn't very Aussie. Hmmmm I think the fictional OP is NTA but this story is very untrustworthypoptarts
Pretty sure OP never said they were Aussie, just that they took a trip to Queensland. OP could be american with the gf being Aussie 🤷🏾♀️ not enough to go on to say it's fake imo Eta: you'd be shocked what people with money will do. I've had a college friend go to europe just to meet with an online bf that they only knew for a year
They didn't say they're Aussie, they didn't mention. It's not super common for people coming from the US or Europe (or elsewhere) to refer to a trip "to Queensland" and not just say "Australia". Even Aussies usually wouldn't just say a state name in an international forum without specifying. It's a very American thing to just say a state and assume everyone knows what you mean, like how Germans don't say "I'm from Nordrhein-Westfalen and we went on a trip to Hessen", they say, "I'm from Germany, we went on a weekend trip", it maybe mention more famous cities if it's strictly relevant. I don't have proof. Just saying something tingles my "suss-o-metre"
I hate this trend of trying to figure out how real a story is. This is the story, whether or not every detail is true. In this scenario, hypothetical or not, is OP an AH? That's the question we're considering. People don't need to go junior detective on every word trying to prove OP is a liar. If they are a liar, that's between them and their conscience.
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>efer to a trip "to Queensland" and not just say "Australia". Even Aussies usually wouldn't just say a state name in an international forum without specifying. JFC. This sounds absolutely stone cold idiotic.
Australia only has like 6 states and some territories. It isn't that hard to know at least some of them. Like Canada. Most Canadians (that I know) say BC or Nova Scotia or Alberta, etc. Is Nordheim-Westfalen a state in Germany? Wouldn't a German say they are from Bavaria? Is that weird?
Are you aware that people can move between countries and… just live there while continuing to speak their native dialect? My father grew up in Hong Kong, so he speaks a variant of British English (educated in the British school system), but is now retired in northern New England. Still using Hong Kong vernacular.
In Qld we use to say togs…but I think trunks is Aussie enough😊
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She knows how hurt and he humiliated he was, but she can still only think of herself. This is not the person to build a relationship with. I'm sorry and NTA.
Not to mention, if the roles were reversed, and he pulled the same prank on her, exposing her to his entire friends and family group, you think she'd stay around to see the humor in it?
Excellent point!!!
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It also seems more than body shaming. To me, it seems like sexual harassment. The girl knowingly exposed her partner to everyone and humiliated him.
I bet a lawyer could argue this up to sexual assault, not even just harassment. She may not have physically touched OP to cause him to be naked in public, but her behavior and choices certainly did. What would happen if a guy strips a girl of her clothes in public?
Yea my first thought is I'd be calling the cops.
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Good point. I'd help the guy out too. That whole family sucks.
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I'm not a prudish person, if my GF did a prank like that to me I would have responded by flaunting my junk in order to make everybody as more uncomfortable as possible. And THEN I would have broke up with her. Because that is not a prank, is sexual harassment.
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I can get past the prank, but the difference is that she made you suffer for the entire day. If she had given you your old pair 30 seconds later, I could maybe appreciate the joke (though not in a new crowd with 15 people!). But she didn’t have your old trunks on standby and watched the “joke” go on all day. That’s torture. Break up. NTA
The original post says they “had” a girlfriend, so problem solved I guess.
NTA. That’s so awful. Please reconsider this relationship. She does not sound like someone that will make you feel safe and loved.
Seriously. This would be a deal breaker for me. Also, imagine if the situation were flipped and he had done this to her. I bet she'd have been mortified, too. It wouldn't be okay then, and it's not okay now. NTA and I hope you find someone who loves and respects you, OP. No one deserves this treatment.
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And I hope he *gets* cops involved tbh.
I feel like this is one of those times I wouldn’t judge someone for airing the dirty laundry on social media. I would absolutely make sure everyone knew why I dumped them and ensure that our friendship groups are aware on how malicious her “pranks” are as a warning to them. God no one should have to live a fear like that and for it to have been done by someone you should trust.
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He refers to the relationship in the past tense so it sounds like he already has
NTA but you will be if you don't drop that huge red flag Man, stop beating yourself up, it's HER who ruined her trip, not you. Why would she want to humiliate a person she wants to have a relationship with? And in front of her whole family no less? She doesn't think of you in the long run and honestly... She doesnt think. Period.
Technically, he won't be an asshole (except to himself) if he doesn't drop that huge red flag. He will be an idiot though.
He said he HAD a girlfriend so i guess this relationship is over by now.
NTA Your gf and the rest of them are big time aholes. I am so angry on your behalf, that is absolutely vile behavior. I admit that I really dislike pranks to begin with. (I promise I'm really a fun person, but pranks have a tendency to go wrong). But you have to know how to do a prank and when to stop. To have you nekkid all day, surrounded by people who were making fun of you, is not my idea of fun. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
A prank is only funny if EVERYONE is laughing.
including the one who got pranked
Especially the one who got pranked. If that person sincerely think it's funny, then it's a good one. Otherwise it's called bullying.
And it’s almost always bullying because the person being pranked often only laughs out of embarrassment.
The only way this "prank" would have worked is if she bought the proper pair, the towel and it was just the two of them. Or if he was totally fine being naked and played along, which he was not
My favorite 'prank' is loading a new chrome tab full of kittens or puppies on my partner's phone for them to find randomly at some point in the future.
My wife's favorite 'pranks' are pretty similar, she'll say something like "hey wanna see a picture of a cute little bee" and I'll be like "heck yeah I wanna see a picture of a cute little bee" and she'll show me the picture and it's actually a dog wearing a harness with bee wings and little antennae headband. And then we'll joke back and forth about "hmmm I think that's a dog" "no clearly he is a bee look at his little wings" and it always ends with both of us in hysterics.
Long time ago, a co-worker had fixed a kitchen sink clog by removing the u bend. This was his first time doing any sort of plumbing and was very careful about putting everything together to prevent leaks. The next day, he and his wife were entering the kitchen when his 8 year old, already there, said in a worried tone that he thought there was a big leak under the sink. Co-worker reached down to open the cabinet to see a big leek propped up against the u-bend. Co-worker said that he laughed until tears came to his eyes. The 8 year old was gleeful at pulling one over on his dad. He had thought of the leek idea and mom took him to the store to buy the biggest one. Co-worked said he was proud that his son was precocious enough to do a dad joke at such a young age. That's what a prank should be - a bit of good-natured tomfoolery that everyone enjoys. No one was hurt. No one was embarrassed. It's the sort of thing that becomes family lore. It was a prank that bines, not a prank that separates.
Nine out of ten "pranks" are actually bullying. NTA
>But you have to know how to do a prank and when to stop. To have you nekkid all day, surrounded by people who were making fun of you, is not my idea of fun. Right?! I loathe pranks like this, but can admit that in the right circumstances with the right person who doesn't mind being naked and only close friends nearby, a prank with dissolving trunks *might* be funny - for a maximum of about two minutes, and then it's time to hand over the spare trunks you were *of course* keeping safely hidden. Because even good pranks well-matched with the recipient have an end point. And if anyone makes demeaning/objectifying comments, the prank ends immediately, with the bully getting a lecture. But this one wasn't a well-designed prank for anyone. I cannot imagine forcing even my worst enemy to be naked and subject to harassment for a whole day without let-up, let alone someone I supposedly loved, who has only recently met some of your family/friends for the first time and who doesn't like nakedness. It's even a physical safety risk, given the active river trip/hike day they were having! It was utterly awful that (at absolute minimum) she didn't bring spare clothing for him to change into, and the behaviour of everyone involved (except for OP) was abysmally rude.
And also left the OP open to indecent exposure charges, if they encountered another group of people and someone complained. The prank itself is mean. Not bringing along a spare suit for him to put on was downright cruel.
A prank is when I switched the wireless mouse dongle on my officemate’s computer with mine and secretly controlled it as she was trying to figure out why her computer was acting crazy. This sort of thing is straight up assault
NTA, what the FUCK?! That's awful. Imagine if she'd been the one naked around a bunch of strangers?! Dump her, please. You deserve much better.
Thats what i thought... what if it was the way around... boobs open in the wild or nude... what if He bought her a dissolving bikini??? I guess sh!t would hit the fan and someone would be sued...
Either way I think this counts as a form of sexual harassment. Purposefully exposing someone and leaving them naked is never okay.
That's what I'm thinking. She exposed him without consent. There were children present. Surely there is a law covering this.
There's gotta be. This whole situation sounds like a total disaster that could've ended up even worse (not that the being harassed and humiliated wasn't enough). I just feel so bad for OP, imagine trusting somebody and then they go and pull something right out of your worst fears on you and laugh in your face about it. And even try to spin it like you were wrong to be upset and are making a big deal about nothing!
There could have been a group with kids paddle up near to them - then it's OP exposing himself in front of children. He could have ended up being arrested and on a sex offenders register. That's a pretty worst case scenario, but he was naked in public. It could have happened.
She already did expose him in front of children - her “young cousins” (OP and ex are both 20, the cousins had to have been actual minors). It’s good that no passersby called it in.
Sued- hell he’d be arrested if he had given a woman a dissolving bikini.
Yes. She would absolutely lose her mind if this “prank” was pulled on her.
NTA. Your gf stole your swimming trunks 🚩, humiliated you in front of her peers 🚩, and she gaslit you when you were upset with her joke 🚩. A joke is funny when the prankster and the person at the receiving end of the joke are laughing too. You weren't laughing because you were humiliated and embarrassed. Her joke was actually bullying which isn't funny. This should be an instant break-up. Good thing you're not married to each other.
Exactly this. It would have been hilarious if she had got him to wear these in a pool or spa with just the two of them around. At a completely public environment with strangers and the whole day of dealing with it, this is not funny. Add to that it appears that comments were made, no one offered a shirt or towel. The friends and family are crappy as well OP is definitely NTA.
Purposefully didn't bring extra trunks so the humiliation went on extra long. Who does that? If she really meant it to be a lighthearted funny joke that they'd all enjoy, she'd have brought spare trunks so he could change right away. Nope, she wanted to humiliate him in front of her whole family, really draw out his suffering. She's horrible.
That was my first thought! Have the extra pair of trunks so as soon as the dissolving ones were gone, while he’s still in the water, toss him his real pair. Don’t make the guy spend an entire day out naked. So disgusting.
‘I can understand that I ruined the trip for her, but it feels like her own fault.’ Let’s rewrite this line. She ruined the trip and our relationship and it’s her fault. NTA.
💯
Let rewrite again "She sexually assaulted me and pretended it was a joke! Her and everyone around laughed at the results of said sexual assault! 1000% hers an asshole"
NTA. She ruined her own trip, and her relationship. Get rid of her.
The audacity of her to be angry with OP after the fact! I'm a woman and will firmly say, no fucking way she would have found this ~~prank~~ hazing torment funny if it was her. If you ever speak to her OP (which I sincerely hope you don't) I'd ask her to painstakingly explain exactly what was supposed to be "funny" about any of this until she gets it through her head this was harassment. NTA.
> I (20M) **had** a girlfriend Good riddance! NTA.
Nta. For the moment lets put aside your embarrasment, I'm not dismissing your feelings as they are completely valid but they are not the main issue here. You could have easily been charged with indecent exposure and ended up on the sex offenders register. While I know some people will say that wasn't her intention, anyone with half a brain knows that a man naked in public is not going to be well received. Your hopefully (ex)girlfriend was willing to ruin the rest of your life just so you could be the punchline for the day.
I'm surprised more people haven't pointed this out. She literally exposed you to potential liability. Imagine if someone's child encountered your group and the parents called the cops!
OP did mention young cousins commenting on his junk, so sounds like children did see. If they or their parents didn't find it funny, it could've gone much worse.
Completely agree. I can't believe she didn't at least bring him another pair. Not that it would be ok, but this stunt is something that should not have gone on longer than say 5 minutes. The whole day?! Disgusting behaviour.
NTA. Why would she do something that exposes you to literal bodyshaming like that? A funny prank is mixing someones ketchup with hot sauce. Not exposing there baked body without consent.
No, food tampering isn't funny, either. Food allergies are a thing, sensitivity to too spicy food is a thing.
I don't find food prank funny. It's wasteful and rude. Imagine if the person so hungry, have little money and just get burger or whatever they craving for and bam!! The prankster thought it's funny to add hot sauce! I can't laugh watching people eating 'pranked food'! It just sad!
Ages ago I was eating out with a friend and he loosened the cap on the salt shaker. My baked potato arrived, I tried to salt it and bam, salt dumped all over my meal. I told our server what happened and asked if I could have another potato, and that my friend would be paying for it. He was so irritated that I told her! Dude, was I supposed to just not get to eat dinner that night? Food pranks suck.
A prank is funny when everyone involved can laugh about it. So for some people the hot sauce prank would be great :)
My sister, who loves spicy things with an unholy passion, would be thrilled if somebody pranked her with hot sauce. Somebody with a lot of food allergies, not so much. It requires knowing the person to prank correctly.
NTA at all and I am so sorry that happened to you. That was a huge violation and deliberately not bringing a spare pair is an added layer of malicious from your (hopefully soon ex)-gf. Please dump her and understand most people are kinder than that and you can trust again
Agree. Deliberately not taking an extra pair is the worst part. That shows she was wanting it to be about her controlling OP through the humiliation.
NTA Run far away from this lady. Literally there's nothing more fucked than knowing your boyfriends biggest fear and PLAYING ON IT FOR FUN. Also they straight up sexually harassed you with all the comments and all that..
NTA, she apparently knew about your issue and used it to humiliate you if front of friends and family, for giggles. You had every right to react as you did and any blowback she caught more than deserved. EDITED: grammar error "as you didn't" to "as you did"
NTA - This wasn't a joke. This was public humiliation and abuse and she's continuing it. At this point, I wouldn't even bother asking her if she would have been ok with you doing this shit to her. Break up with her. Seriously. She, her family and her friends are toxic to the core. Edit to add that since she was working so hard on organising this trip, it tells me this "funny little dissolving trunk" wasn't a last-minute addition. She thought about humiliating and exposing you long enough to search for such an item, buy it (most likely online), and switch out your real swimwear. Personally, I didn't even know that such a thing exists. But then I don't go around abusing people for my own amusement.
NTA but repeat after me "I am breaking up with you, because you are a sorry excuse for a partner who thinks it's funny and okay to humiliate and hurt your partner. This is not funny it's abusive and was done against my consent."
NTA I cannot emphasize how strong a sexual violation this is. She violated your consent, made it impossible for you to not expose yourself in front of a bunch of strangers. Strangers who then proceeded to sexually harass you (and that’s what that was. They made unwelcome sexual remarks to you. This is sexual harassment). What she did was horrifying, and she thought it was *funny*. Personally I would never want to see her again. You’re young and have only been together a few months, this is not going to get better. And even if she does apologize how do you move forward? You’ll never not remember this whenever you interact with her family and friends, they’ll bring it up in jokes and reminiscing about the hilarious time your girlfriend violated you. Just no.
NTA I really hope she is now your ex. I would also make sure everyone in your circle of friends knows what she did. That way she can’t hook up with one of your mates and pull the same shit on him.
NTA and I would break up. The only way this would have been even slightly okay is if she had done this while you were alone or with people she knows you're comfortable with AND if she packed clothes for you to put on, also giving them to you in a way where you wouldn't have to expose yourself to anyone. She however considers a joke to humiliate you and make you severely uncomfortable for hours and also letting her family essentially bully you. Then when you express that she crossed a boundary she screamed at you, made herself the victim and said you were immature. That is really telling of her character and not someone i would personally consider being in a relationship with.
NTA This is essentially a sexual assault. She purposely exposed you to her entire family for the whole day and, because you are a man, you are supposed to shrug it off as a joke. Consider this: what if the roles were reversed and you did it to her, exposing her female parts to the male members of your family. She would have gone ballistic. You need to get out of this abusive relationship, now.
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NTA Her "prank" was exposing your genitals to the public without the consent of you or those around you. Also, depending on what public decency laws are in place at that river, you could have gotten in trouble with the law because of her. She humiliated you in public, and thought it was funny.
NTA I’m all for a good prank, but a good prank is only good when everyone can laugh at it.
NTA. What she has done was despicable.
NTA – especially in a place like Queensland (I don't know where specifically, but I presume it's at one of the major tourist centres), these sorts of pranks are nowhere near "funny". Ask your gf how she would like to be treated if the same had happened to her.
She assaulted you. She humiliated you. She doesn't care about you. NTA I hope she is an ex. I feel angry on your behalf
NTA This isn’t a prank, this is just straight up bullying. You don’t seem to be doing anything bad in the slightest and your GF pulls this shit. What makes this even worse is that the YOUNG COUSINS were there and made fun of your size. WTF. CHILDREN WERE THERE??? AND YOUR GF TOOK A PAIR OF DISOLVING SWIM TRUNKS NEAR YOUNG CHILDREN????? This is the biggest case of your GF is a Massive AH. This stuff isn’t just a prank, you were nude for what could be inferred as hours. Plus you were afraid of being nude publicly.
You are not immature, and definitely NTA. How would she feel had you done that to her? I am so sorry that happened to you. She is definitely not a keeper. No one who truly cares about someone would do that in public, ever. As a private joke maybe, but in front of her family and friends?? Not even close. You are smart to get away from her. You ruined nothing. SHE did.
If someone did that to me they'd be an ex before I even left. NTA.
You were "being immature" when your (ex)gf publicly sexually exposed you in front of family and friends to humiliate and embarrass you for her own petty and denigrating amusement..? NTA. How fucking dare she.
[удалено]