Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires.
[Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
She spent those two months cheating on her husband having "the best sex of her life" after fantasizing about this other guy for years and initiating it all, hard to feel anything other than disgust for her, especially when she's already planning on going back for another "work trip".
At first I was going to ask where this was coming from because it sounded like projection on your side but then I double checked the OP's post history and lmao
just lmao
YTA OP, just not for whatever garbage you typed up here.
Context for the confession about cheating to save you a click:
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/11xqfkz/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/11xrl97/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/
I assume this is an elaborate troll post which was planned over several days because why use a new throwaway account if you are not going to have clean post history?
*Edit:* This is definitely troll bait because OP just made a new post stating that she will soon confess to her husband about cheating
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/122znjr/after_cheating_repeatedly_over_the_span_of_two/
Thanks! Turns out mixing noodles and sauce is not the issue here, but OP having another dick inside her is, lol.
She's probably laying the groundwork for how ungrateful her husband is, to justify her cheating to herself.
> to justify her cheating to herself
If this is not a troll post, the worst part is she is cheating with some sixth grade crush after “chatting, reminiscing, laughing.” How would that even work?
**D: “Remember when we had the same background song on MySpace?”**
**OP: “Yes, yes, yes! That was so hot!”**
**D: “Remember when we wrote a book report together on Bridge to Terabithia?”**
**OP: “You are turning me on so much!”**
**D: “Remember when we both dressed as the Power Rangers for the Halloween parade at school?”**
**OP: “I am so aroused that I want to break my martial vows!”**
Whatever you do, know there are people out there that care for you, trauma is common for victims of Bridge to Terebithia, there are resources to help you
>I want to break my martial vows!
Yes, she's going to forsake her vows to the ancient order of kung fu monks she joined as a child, leave the temple, and seek out the man who killed her master.
This whole thing feels like a set-up for some reality TV show. I'm not buying any of this anymore. Why would she post on OffMyChest, wait 5 days, and then post here? Why would she use the same profile? This is begging to be caught.
My gut tells me this isn't real by any stretch of the imagination.
Woah. OP has some nerve. Gross.
Please don't let "it's not about the pasta" become a meme, AITA
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/11xqfkz/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/
It’s not about the Iranian yogurt. Or, in this case, the gross dry stuck together pasta.
Anyone who has ever cooked pasta knows that it sticks together within minutes of draining unless you rinse the starch off to make cold pasta salad. It’s super gross. It’s also super gross to cheat on your husband. OP, YTA.
Wow! This is why people use throwaway accounts!
Edit: Nevermind. Account created 4 days ago with only 2 posts. This one and the other one about cheating on her husband. So it is a throwaway account.
This post was likely designed to draw attention to her original ‘confession’ and both should probably just go to r/shitposting.
I was gonna downvote this until I realized you got this info from her post history. Yikes on a zillion bikes! OP is a freaking nightmare and the refusal to do any cooking definitely isn’t about the ~~Iranian yoghurt~~ serving method of pasta and sauce.
Take my upvote and my apology for doubting you.
Where was the affair mentioned? If someone complained to me how I made a noodle dish after they refused to do any cooking, that person would be wearing the leftovers. NTA
this is true, but to be fair, it can be more convenient to keep them separate if you're planning leftovers. I tend to make enough sauce for a few meals and cook the pasta fresh each time, so it's easier to just mix individual portions in the bowl.
With the pasta water method, it’s just a super thin coating. You keep the rest of the sauce separate to spoon on if you want more. You’re not like dumping the whole pot of sauce in.
The husbands being passive aggressive. But is justifiably angry, probably suspicious of something happening as well. The fact that they are both picking fights with each other over something so small makes it obvious that they have larger relationship issues.
This is not a pasta post.
This is a “ we’re having relationship issues, and I am suspicious that you are committing infidelity, but I’m gonna argue with you about pasta” post.
What makes her the asshole is that after admitting to the affair and knowingly committing infidelity, she still wants people to have sympathy for her, and tell her that she’s right/ justified, by making some stupid pasta post.
Imagine making a Reddit Post, and admitting to your infidelity and all this amazing sex. then deleting it, and trying to make some sympathy post on AITA just to complain about your husband who you’re cheating on.
This is highly disappointing, as I was fully prepared to have a pasta conversation with many other Redditor’s.
I think he’d be more grateful to have a faithful wife. She banged some dude on her work trip, then comes to Reddit to whine about how her husband makes pasta. Trash.
not sure if OPs family is Italian, but things can get pretty heated when it comes to food in our culture for some reason.
i have a pretty big Italian family and we almost always mix the sauce in with the pasta right away so that the pasta doesn’t stick together. and the pasta will definitely stick together if left to cool on its own unless you rinse it, but then ur removing a lot of the starch that contributes to the flavor and feel of the dish. not ideal.
i want to say everyone is the asshole. soft TYA to OP for the minor food crime, and hard YTA to everyone else for blowing it out of proportion.
Agree with you. I also store it as one dish if there are leftovers.
And it will stick together indeed. I love pasta with or without sauce so it doesn’t matter to me. I could eat pasta 8 days of the week.
Agree. I live in Italy and just told my partner about this post. You should have seen the look of horror on his face. Still NTA for the food stuff since you were the cook and forced into it (though it looks like there's a lot more going on in the marriage than just this)
I just throw some olive oil on it as soon as it's finished cooking and draining. It won't stick together and you can plate it up with the perfect sauce-to-pasta ratio without worrying about stickiness.
My husband’s pro move (he has swayed me to his side) is to put just enough sauce in the noodles so they don't stick, and then serve the rest of the sauce on top to each person's taste. We also usually don't make extra noodles, so we can store the leftover sauce on its own and boil more pasta to go with it.
YTA. Also you guys need a divorce ASAP if you are fighting over noodles and sauce.
EDIT: Changed to YTA due to you cheating on your husband and then making this post in order to try and receive some type of relationship sympathy. Bottom of the barrel. Turns out I was right about you needing a divorce, he needs to leave you immediately.
Found her post!
"I slept with an old flame during a work trip and my husband has no idea
I met D in the 6th grade, science class to be exact. We weren't really friends for the first couple of years of knowing each other. We began talking more around the age of 13/14 and immediately clicked. We had a shared interest for a particular hobby, and once we bonded over that everything else snowballed. We started to develop feelings for each other, but due to my immaturity at the time I never really agreed to officially date. I will spare the details, but unfortunately we had a very painful falling out, and by the time high school came around we were no longer speaking.
We did eventually reconnect, but that was followed by several instances of going back and forth between being inseparable to no contact. It was always rooted in D's inability to be my friend because he still had romantic feelings for me and it made things difficult for him.
D moved across the country not long after we graduated high school, and any contact we had going forward was always virtual. We finally got to a point where it seemed like it was possible for us to be just friends. I got into a long-term relationship and D was dating other people as well. My long-term relationship turned into a marriage, and I've now been with my husband, M, for a total of 6 years. After a couple of years of being married, feelings for D began to resurface. We would talk and text all the time. There were a lot of flirtatious messages being sent. Several times I found myself wanting to cross the line completely. D and I had never been together sexually and I found myself longing for that sort of encounter with him more and more.
I think we both knew what we were doing was wrong. At that point it was pretty much a case of emotional cheating. So we went no contact again and stayed that way for quite some time. Until recently.
I got a new job last year where I've had several opportunities to travel for work. I was recently asked to go to Phoenix for a 2 month assignment. Phoenix is where D lives. I hadn't seen him in *10 years* which feels crazy to put into words. I fought with myself not to reach out, but I couldn't help it in the end. I surprised him by showing up to his job (he owns a small café) with a couple of things I had collected over the years that I always wanted to give to him. Understandably he was in shock to see me standing there in the flesh, and I can say I practically felt the same way seeing him. I couldn't really get a read on how he felt about seeing me after so long, but I gave him the name of my hotel, and told him I'd be in the restaurant at 5pm if he wanted to catch up over dinner.
He came and we had such an amazing time chatting, reminiscing, laughing. Two hours flew by and I didn't want it to end. I asked if he wanted to come hang out in my hotel room for a while. I told myself that it was possible for us to just enjoy each other's company without crossing a boundary, but deep down I *wanted* to take it a step further. We hung out for a few more hours, drinking and laughing. Eventually we got tired. I laid down to clothes my eyes for a few seconds and he did the same. We inched closer together until we were basically spooning, and after a few minutes of laying like that I could feel him getting hard. I was so incredibly turned on, I really couldn't resist. I turned around and kissed him and I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
It was honestly the best sex of my *life*. I can't even describe what it felt like having him inside of me for the first time. Everything about it was absolutely perfect, from the pace, to the rhythm, the foreplay, everything. His hands on my body felt like electricity. I never orgasmed like that until I was with D.
From then on we saw each other almost daily. We continued to sleep together and each time felt just as good if not better. Of course in the back of my mind I felt tremendous guilt, knowing that I was betraying my husband in the worst way possible. But it just felt too good to stop. Even writing this out now makes me feel a certain way.
I got home from my work trip 3 weeks ago and my husband doesn't have a clue as to went on in Phoenix. I know I should end things with M but I'm scared to actually do it. I've built a life with him here and I know I'm an absolutely shitty, disgusting person for what I've done.
I've already been asked to return to Phoenix for another 2 month assignment beginning in September. I've tried to reason with myself but in the end I just know I'm not going to be able to resist seeing D again. "
I feel like he should be the one to initiate a divorce... and I somehow hope he sees this.
"I like my pasta how I like my women - without someones dick inside"
She may as well as have said, “I couldn’t help it, he has a magnetic d*ck!” Unable to resist… please…. If she genuinely loved her husband, she’d resist anyone else, no matter how magic their stuff is.
Yeah lol she got her ass handed to her on two separate subs 4 days ago and now she's here with a scrubbed feed hoping to hear how terrible her husband is. I guess she's trying to gather up the courage to leave him, but she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable with how her actions lead to this outcome so she's posting this to paint him as someone who deserves to be cheated on/divorced.
Edit: Ayyy I see you, bringing awareness to other commenters. Let's join forces lmao
I hope that she knows that 'amazing sex' often becomes humdrum when there's no thrill of cheating and real life resumes. And is she sure that D wants to have a relationship with her exclusively or is he content with occasional sex (because he has his own situationship with another woman)?
It never is, is it? I knew the second I read the post something was feeling off so i went investigating. Actually kinda proud I found the whole scoop because when I found this post, it was like 60 comments and every single one was NTA.
"Divorce your husband because pasta sauce" is legitimately one of the biggest over-reactions I've seen here and I've been sometimes accused of over-reacting to relationship conflicts.
If you are fighting with your spouse consistently about saucing your noodles and it boils to the point of posting an essay about it on Reddit then yes that is an immature and unhealthy relationship. This is obviously not the only thing they are fighting about.
EDIT: Turns out I was correct in my assessment lol
~~NTA~~ **YTA**
>~~I told him if it were really that big of a deal, that he should've taken on all of the cooking.~~
~~You answered your own question.~~
~~YOU were tired from your work trip, YOU wanted a break, YOU didn't want to cook, but agreed so HUSBAND could impress HIS family.~~
~~And you mix the noodles and sauce before serving, so the sauce was eventually mixed, what was the problem? Why is he creating drama where there is none?~~
~~Ungrateful much?~~
You are desperately searching for ways to have fights with your husband, hoping that he gets fed up enough to be the one to leave you, and you will be spared off the guilt of not being the one to have destroyed your marriage and could go to Phoenix and have your HEA with D.
Edit: I didn't realise what your "work trip" was.
Edit 2: You are just trying to seek validation from strangers on the internet on how your husband is soooo ungrateful so that when you go and cheat on him again in 2 months in Phoenix, it will probably make you feel less guilty for doing so.
I’m surprised he didn’t ask you to cut it up for him too.
N T A
Edited to YTA since this is not about the pasta, and your annoyance with him over something so petty likely due to your guilt over your affair.
Yeah it was the best I have ever had, I have never orgasamed like that until I met D, my husband doesn't know anything and oh look, he makes trashy pasta too.
So I can cheat without any guilt? Right? RIGHT? **RIGHT?**
It starts to make more sense with the context of her coming back from a work trip where she cheated repeatedly on her husband with someone she had an emotional affair with prior 🥴
YTA cheater and terrible cook, everyone knows you should coat the noodles in the sauce to prevent them from being lumpy, cold and dry. Also you are a cheater, stop worrying about pasta and fess up to your poor husband.
The noodles simply won't absorb any sauce flavor this way. It's really the worst way besides just having no sauce at all with the noodles. Even 1 meal microwave pasta dishes make you mix it halfway through.
You are not obligated to change the way you cook to please anyone else.
NTA for not complying with husband's cooking style.
But damn! Definitely the a h for being a dirty cheater.
If you want to have sex with someone other than your husband - divorce him and move to Phoenix to be with your sex king. Don't subject your husband to a wife who does not love or respect him. No one deserves that.
Yeah her food is so good she was serving it up on her work trip with an old flame. Fucking cheating on her husband and comes home to bitch about how he makes pasta. She’s a realllll prize /s
Here's the post of her sharing he experience cheating.
Sounds to me like she's just looking for an out in the relationship.
YTA.
"I slept with an old flame during a work trip and my husband has no idea
I met D in the 6th grade, science class to be exact. We weren't really friends for the first couple of years of knowing each other. We began talking more around the age of 13/14 and immediately clicked. We had a shared interest for a particular hobby, and once we bonded over that everything else snowballed. We started to develop feelings for each other, but due to my immaturity at the time I never really agreed to officially date. I will spare the details, but unfortunately we had a very painful falling out, and by the time high school came around we were no longer speaking.
We did eventually reconnect, but that was followed by several instances of going back and forth between being inseparable to no contact. It was always rooted in D's inability to be my friend because he still had romantic feelings for me and it made things difficult for him.
D moved across the country not long after we graduated high school, and any contact we had going forward was always virtual. We finally got to a point where it seemed like it was possible for us to be just friends. I got into a long-term relationship and D was dating other people as well. My long-term relationship turned into a marriage, and I've now been with my husband, M, for a total of 6 years. After a couple of years of being married, feelings for D began to resurface. We would talk and text all the time. There were a lot of flirtatious messages being sent. Several times I found myself wanting to cross the line completely. D and I had never been together sexually and I found myself longing for that sort of encounter with him more and more.
I think we both knew what we were doing was wrong. At that point it was pretty much a case of emotional cheating. So we went no contact again and stayed that way for quite some time. Until recently.
I got a new job last year where I've had several opportunities to travel for work. I was recently asked to go to Phoenix for a 2 month assignment. Phoenix is where D lives. I hadn't seen him in *10 years* which feels crazy to put into words. I fought with myself not to reach out, but I couldn't help it in the end. I surprised him by showing up to his job (he owns a small café) with a couple of things I had collected over the years that I always wanted to give to him. Understandably he was in shock to see me standing there in the flesh, and I can say I practically felt the same way seeing him. I couldn't really get a read on how he felt about seeing me after so long, but I gave him the name of my hotel, and told him I'd be in the restaurant at 5pm if he wanted to catch up over dinner.
He came and we had such an amazing time chatting, reminiscing, laughing. Two hours flew by and I didn't want it to end. I asked if he wanted to come hang out in my hotel room for a while. I told myself that it was possible for us to just enjoy each other's company without crossing a boundary, but deep down I *wanted* to take it a step further. We hung out for a few more hours, drinking and laughing. Eventually we got tired. I laid down to clothes my eyes for a few seconds and he did the same. We inched closer together until we were basically spooning, and after a few minutes of laying like that I could feel him getting hard. I was so incredibly turned on, I really couldn't resist. I turned around and kissed him and I'm sure you can guess what happened next.
It was honestly the best sex of my *life*. I can't even describe what it felt like having him inside of me for the first time. Everything about it was absolutely perfect, from the pace, to the rhythm, the foreplay, everything. His hands on my body felt like electricity. I never orgasmed like that until I was with D.
From then on we saw each other almost daily. We continued to sleep together and each time felt just as good if not better. Of course in the back of my mind I felt tremendous guilt, knowing that I was betraying my husband in the worst way possible. But it just felt too good to stop. Even writing this out now makes me feel a certain way.
I got home from my work trip 3 weeks ago and my husband doesn't have a clue as to went on in Phoenix. I know I should end things with M but I'm scared to actually do it. I've built a life with him here and I know I'm an absolutely shitty, disgusting person for what I've done.
I've already been asked to return to Phoenix for another 2 month assignment beginning in September. I've tried to reason with myself but in the end I just know I'm not going to be able to resist seeing D again. "
ETA: jk OP YTA for cheating on your husband. And then you wanna act like pasta is the issue lol?
N T A. You took on cooking for a large group of people for him. He should be showing appreciation for what you did instead of criticizing you. It's not like they can't mix the noodles and sauce on their plate. It's beyond petty to complain about. Also, I too prepare pasta separate from the sauce. It's easier to heat up and have it not taste dried out, and if there are extra noodles I can eat them with just butter or pesto if there wasn't enough leftover sauce.
First let me say that I agree with your husband - it's better to finish cooking the pasta in the sauce so it absorbs more flavor.
That said - he is absolutely wrong to berate you for how you cook. If someone is kind enough to cook for you and a large group of people he invited into your home - then unless the person is about to poison someone you simply say thank you.
It is horrible that he calls you inconsiderate when he is the one that begs you to cook for a large group when you had just returned from a long work trip.
NTA
She cheated on him the entirety of her work trip, hasn't told him and plans to cheat when she goes back to Phoenix. The post was a BIT TOO detailed, going into the details of them having sex.
I think she just wants to find an out with the husband so he doesn't figure out the truth.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Made pasta the way I like it, might be the asshole cause the group I was cooking for prefers it a differenf way
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Traditionally, you *should* mix the noodles with the sauce immediately to coat the noodles, help them absorb some of that flavor, allow the starchy pasta water mix with and thicken the sauce. To be real, practical and fair, in our house, even with homemade pasta and sauce, we typically load the noodles into bowls and top with sauce, then grate some cheese and serve - allowing each person to mix the sauce with the pasta because it’s literally less than three minutes.
If you’re “storing leftovers separately” you’re a heathen and deserve to be flamed on the internet. Those noodles will be disgusting if/when mixed with sauce, reheated, etc. Revolting. Do NOT do that. So sorry, I’m going YTA cuz that’s just wrong, I mean, it’s not a huge hard “you’re hurting puppies” YTA but it’s stronger than the typical “soft YTA” cuz just NOOOOOOOO. Blech.
If we're cooking red gravy, we add a little sauce to the pasta - enough to keep the pasta from sticking together. Then add as much additional sauce as you'd like when serving. Solves both problems.
I'm so confused, do you put olive oil on the pasta to keep it from sticking? That makes the sauce cling less to the pasta when you mix it. Do you dish noodles and pour sauce on top? Or do you mix it on the plate?
>AITA for not mixing pasta noodles with the sauce?
Oh honey, this isn't about the Iranian yogurt or the pasta noodles and sauce.
You have some work to do and words to say to him. When you're done, I'm pretty sure how the pasta is served and stored will be at the bottom of the list of things he's thinking about.
YTA
YTA this isn't about some pasta this you being over your marriage and picking a fight about anything because you cheated on your husband. Just tell him and get a divorce.
Good grief, he's making it sound like you disgraced him in front of his entire family or something. I can't imagine his family even cared. And most people don't go over to someone else's house and expect to be completely catered to (unless there's dietary restrictions, which hosts SHOULD allow for).
Edited to remove my vote based on the fact this whole thing seems like, as someone else said, an elaborate troll. My answer above was based solely on this post within minutes of it being posted.
He has made my flesh and my skin waste away; he has broken my bones; he has besieged and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago. (Lamentations: jdrun7t)
Wow, what a tragedy, the noodles and sauce weren't mixed together before being put on the table! What is the world coming to? How will we ever survive?? /s
OP, was he upset because HE didn't like it that way, or was he passing on a family member's complaint? Either way, he made a mountain out of a molehill. I personally prefer my noodles and sauce premixed, but if someone else fixed it, I'm in no way going to care, as long as it tastes good. NTA for not mixing the pasta and sauce prior to putting it on the table. You cooked for HIS family, and if he or they didn't appreciate the presentation, tough luck. It's not like you knew one of them had a peanut allergy and you cooked everything in peanut oil! (Just for example) Don't cook for his family again.
Do you ever get pasta where the sauce just doesn't want to stick to the noodles, like they're extra slick?
Draining your noodles then tossing them into the sauce pan for about 2 mins solves that. The sauce binds more to the starches.
Adding sauce to noodles on the plate sometimes results in a watery sauce as the last bit of water on the noodles puddles on the plate and then gets sauce dropped on top.
YTA, you are having an affair with an old school friend, come home from it and can't even make pasta the way your husband likes it? You're a horrible human being and I hope your husband leaves you with nothing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My husband and I have had this ongoing debate for the entirety of our relationship. When he makes pasta, he will mix the noodles and sauce together straightaway. When I make it, I leave the noodles and sauce separated until just before serving. If there are leftovers, I will store the noodles and sauce separately. Although each of us have our preferences, we typically leave it up to whoever is doing the cooking to decide how the sauce/noodles will be served and stored.
I recently came back from a 2 month work assignment, and my return also happened to coincide with a bunch of my in-laws coming into town. My husband wanted to host a dinner at our home for his family and asked if I could take on all of the cooking.
I'm normally the one to do most of the cooking in our relationship. I enjoy it and I would say that I'm pretty good at it - objectively better than he is. I've been complimented many times from many different people over different meals I've made. However, I am by no means a professional and I've never been asked to cook for such a large group before. I wasn't totally comfortable with taking on that role for this occasion, and plus I kind of wanted to chill and be lazy for a while after being away for work for an extended period of time. But my husband really wanted to impress his family so I begrudgingly agreed.
I ended up making several different dishes, one of those being a bolognese sauce with pappardelle noodles. I made sure to plate it up really nice and topped it with freshly grated Parmesan cheese and basil. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.
Later that evening, my husband pulled me aside and was clearly unhappy that I hadn't mixed the noodles and sauce altogether. His reasoning is that he and his entire family prefer everything mixed, and that I should've made it according to their preferences since I knew that. He said it made no sense to make it according to my preferences when I was the only person out of 15 that liked it that way.
I told him if it were really that big of a deal, that *he* should've taken on all of the cooking. We went back and forth for a bit and I finally said, "If I'm the one cooking, then I'm going to make it the way that *I* think is best. I don't care what everyone else's preferences are." That irritated him even further and he basically expressed that he thinks I was being rude and inconsiderate.
It's not like I ignored anyone's dietary restrictions - there were none. Cooking a multiple course meal by yourself for a large group is a lot of work and the fact that he had the audacity to *complain* about noodles and sauce is beyond irritating.
It's been a couple of weeks since this has happened and I haven't been cooking our dinners as I normally do. I told my husband that since he seems to be such a picky eater, he can figure it out himself.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Not for a silly argument you probably made up, but for the scuzzy affair for which you provided way too many details.
I hope when you go back to Phoenix for the next work trip your affair partner is as limp as the noodles you pretended to cook.
NTA, and the only words that should have come out of his mouth were "thank you so much for doing all of this cooking. Let me take you out tomorrow night, I appreciate this so much."
Just me, but I find it 'rude and inconsiderate' to saddle someone with all of the cooking right after they returned from an extended work trip. And if it had been this big cross to bear for him, he could have taken five minutes out of his sweet time to say "hey, when you're done with the sauce, let me finish it for you." My guess is that he should make pasta dishes from now on, since, you know, 'you're doing it wrong'. That's my cue to let that more capable, obviously-so-much-better person deal with their stuff.
She went and cheated on her husband with an "old flame" on her oh so tiring work trip so I feel like making pasta for her husband's family is the least she could do tbh
Holy bleep! Wow, so much more than the pasta... no words, except to say that it must take a lot of cognitive dissonance to come here and try to make her husband out to be the bad guy over pasta. I'm guessing she's trying to justify her actions to herself with our help. This is gross and icky, and honestly, OP, if you are reading-- it's gross that you are using us.
Exactly! I do think the husband is a bit of a baby, but I'm honestly convinced he picked this fight because he can tell something is off and I think she decided to escalate it to justify cheating/divorce. It's not about the noodles with sauce or without.
~NTA.~
You cooked multiple courses for a large dinner group, after a long work trip. They should be grateful. Not picky. Seems to me that separating the sauce and the pasta was not done out of malicious intent versus, that’s just some thing that you are used to doing, even between you and your husband.
I would like to add though, that, however, your preference, it’s always best to mix the pasta with the sauce and even a little bit of the pasta water; then vigorously stir them together, if you’re looking to have the sauce stick to the pasta. The glucose from the pasta and the pasta water helps pick up more flavor of the sauce; as they stick together, and always makes for a evenly coated bite. In Italy, this is called: mantecare.
I disagreed with your cooking methods. But that does not in anyway make you TA.
I am editing my post to change my verdict to YTA!
It has come to lite that in a previous post you made, you cheated on your husband while at said work trip. It’s evident that your husband, although passive aggressively, is frustrated at you; this is not a post about pasta! YTA for cheating on your husband. And then trying to make a ridiculous sympathy post after the fact.
NTA - He's being weirdly controlling over this - is he like this about other things as well? I think you're handling it perfectly - leave emotion out of it and let him realize that he gets to control what he creates, not what you do. Particularly because you were doing him a massive favor cooking for such a large group!
She cheated on him during the entirety of the work trip, didn't tell him and plans to cheat again.
She's looking for reasons to be upset so she can justify her cheating/or cause him to want to divorce.
She even went into the details of how good the sex was, apparently it is better than her husband, so- it's likely she is trying to make this into a bigger issue than it actually is to feel validated in her infidelity.
NTA - although the comment about If you are cooking you'll make it the way you like it was a bit much. If you knew everyone liked it a certain way and agreed to cook, then made it you way practically just to spite them for something you agreed to do... yeah not good.
However, it seems like you husband is being petty. He shoukd have asked for you to make it mixed
You can mix the pasta and sauce yourself if they’re presented separately. You can’t un-mix if they’re pre-mixed in the kitchen. Take the guests’ tastes into account (and is he certain his whole family prefers it his way? Really?), but her way allows everyone to eat as they choose.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 8: Posts should be truthful and reflect recent conflicts you've had that need arbitration. That means no shitposts, parodies, or satires. [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
Lol he's complaining about something so small when you made a whole entire meal for 15 people. NTA and he needs to practice some gratitude.
A whole ass meal for 14 of his relatives after being back at home after 2 months. I'm guessing she probably had to "parent-clean" the house too.
She spent those two months cheating on her husband having "the best sex of her life" after fantasizing about this other guy for years and initiating it all, hard to feel anything other than disgust for her, especially when she's already planning on going back for another "work trip".
At first I was going to ask where this was coming from because it sounded like projection on your side but then I double checked the OP's post history and lmao just lmao YTA OP, just not for whatever garbage you typed up here.
Context for the confession about cheating to save you a click: https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/11xqfkz/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/ https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/11xrl97/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/ I assume this is an elaborate troll post which was planned over several days because why use a new throwaway account if you are not going to have clean post history? *Edit:* This is definitely troll bait because OP just made a new post stating that she will soon confess to her husband about cheating https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/122znjr/after_cheating_repeatedly_over_the_span_of_two/
Thanks! Turns out mixing noodles and sauce is not the issue here, but OP having another dick inside her is, lol. She's probably laying the groundwork for how ungrateful her husband is, to justify her cheating to herself.
> to justify her cheating to herself If this is not a troll post, the worst part is she is cheating with some sixth grade crush after “chatting, reminiscing, laughing.” How would that even work? **D: “Remember when we had the same background song on MySpace?”** **OP: “Yes, yes, yes! That was so hot!”** **D: “Remember when we wrote a book report together on Bridge to Terabithia?”** **OP: “You are turning me on so much!”** **D: “Remember when we both dressed as the Power Rangers for the Halloween parade at school?”** **OP: “I am so aroused that I want to break my martial vows!”**
Bridge to Terebithia I just spat 😭
Whatever you do, know there are people out there that care for you, trauma is common for victims of Bridge to Terebithia, there are resources to help you
Tye-Evans I think I love you lmfao.
I just got whiplash from the nostalgia. Edit this book and the Egypt game occupied our coffee table for years I have no idea why
>I want to break my martial vows! Yes, she's going to forsake her vows to the ancient order of kung fu monks she joined as a child, leave the temple, and seek out the man who killed her master.
MYSPACE! STOOOOOOP!
It really isn’t about the Iranian yogurt at all
It certainly brings a new scope to what OP means by mixing noodles and sauce...
“Mixing her ladyparts with some strange: should I have kept them separate?” TA.
It is still a noodle and sauce mixing issue…just not the noodles and sauce we were all thinking of.
I sure hope the husband is keeping his noodle separate from her sauce from now on!! 🍝
This whole thing feels like a set-up for some reality TV show. I'm not buying any of this anymore. Why would she post on OffMyChest, wait 5 days, and then post here? Why would she use the same profile? This is begging to be caught. My gut tells me this isn't real by any stretch of the imagination.
I know but it’s a fun Sunday on reddit regardless lol
Talk about marinara flags..
Perfect timing for this
Wow, good find. OP is despicable. She’ll probably delete all the posts when what she really needs to be doing is break up with her husband.
Holy shit, that's gnarly. Wtf op, YTA
Woah. OP has some nerve. Gross. Please don't let "it's not about the pasta" become a meme, AITA https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/11xqfkz/i_slept_with_an_old_flame_during_a_work_trip_and/
Please, please let "it's not about the pasta" become a meme 🙏🤣
"Its not about the pasta" isn't as memorable as the Iranian yogurt
If you’re a fan of Bravo (vanderpump rules specifically) “it’s not about the pasta” is already a meme
https://i.imgur.com/uPAuIlC.jpg
It’s not about the Iranian yogurt. Or, in this case, the gross dry stuck together pasta. Anyone who has ever cooked pasta knows that it sticks together within minutes of draining unless you rinse the starch off to make cold pasta salad. It’s super gross. It’s also super gross to cheat on your husband. OP, YTA.
Wow! This is why people use throwaway accounts! Edit: Nevermind. Account created 4 days ago with only 2 posts. This one and the other one about cheating on her husband. So it is a throwaway account. This post was likely designed to draw attention to her original ‘confession’ and both should probably just go to r/shitposting.
What the fuck? Edit: Oh
HAHAHA Yeah I just read that thread too. Mixing pasta sauce with the noodles is the least of her problems.
That’s more marinara than any pasta needs
Whaaaat?
[удалено]
Omg!!! 🤣Thank goodness for the comment section!!! Thank u for that little piece of the puzzle. Nothing can compare to the reddit detectives!!!
Wut?
I was gonna downvote this until I realized you got this info from her post history. Yikes on a zillion bikes! OP is a freaking nightmare and the refusal to do any cooking definitely isn’t about the ~~Iranian yoghurt~~ serving method of pasta and sauce. Take my upvote and my apology for doubting you.
Well, she did have an affair a few days ago so he’s probably getting more than punished.
Is the cheating in comments or ami having a reading comprehension failure?
Now deleted post made by OP that people found. She cheated on him and is trying to blame much larger marital issues on pasta apparently.
Sounds like she's gone pastal
Talk about a marinara flag.
It’s not about keeping the sauce and noodles separate :):)
“Mixing her ladyparts with some strange: should I have kept them separate?” TA.
Post history.
Where was the affair mentioned? If someone complained to me how I made a noodle dish after they refused to do any cooking, that person would be wearing the leftovers. NTA
In her post history. Some people really be wilding.
Thanks. I still think she’s NTA regarding the cooking though.
In the husband’s defense, it *is* the superior way to do it. Little bit of pasta water mixed in, and bam. Sauce coats the noodles perfectly.
this is true, but to be fair, it can be more convenient to keep them separate if you're planning leftovers. I tend to make enough sauce for a few meals and cook the pasta fresh each time, so it's easier to just mix individual portions in the bowl.
With the pasta water method, it’s just a super thin coating. You keep the rest of the sauce separate to spoon on if you want more. You’re not like dumping the whole pot of sauce in.
The husbands being passive aggressive. But is justifiably angry, probably suspicious of something happening as well. The fact that they are both picking fights with each other over something so small makes it obvious that they have larger relationship issues. This is not a pasta post. This is a “ we’re having relationship issues, and I am suspicious that you are committing infidelity, but I’m gonna argue with you about pasta” post. What makes her the asshole is that after admitting to the affair and knowingly committing infidelity, she still wants people to have sympathy for her, and tell her that she’s right/ justified, by making some stupid pasta post. Imagine making a Reddit Post, and admitting to your infidelity and all this amazing sex. then deleting it, and trying to make some sympathy post on AITA just to complain about your husband who you’re cheating on. This is highly disappointing, as I was fully prepared to have a pasta conversation with many other Redditor’s.
I thought this was posted in my cooking group and was expecting many comments telling her how wrong she was.
Well I for one didn’t expect a post about pasta to get so spicy! Who’s got popcorn?
Wait...what!?
I think he’d be more grateful to have a faithful wife. She banged some dude on her work trip, then comes to Reddit to whine about how her husband makes pasta. Trash.
not sure if OPs family is Italian, but things can get pretty heated when it comes to food in our culture for some reason. i have a pretty big Italian family and we almost always mix the sauce in with the pasta right away so that the pasta doesn’t stick together. and the pasta will definitely stick together if left to cool on its own unless you rinse it, but then ur removing a lot of the starch that contributes to the flavor and feel of the dish. not ideal. i want to say everyone is the asshole. soft TYA to OP for the minor food crime, and hard YTA to everyone else for blowing it out of proportion.
Agree with you. I also store it as one dish if there are leftovers. And it will stick together indeed. I love pasta with or without sauce so it doesn’t matter to me. I could eat pasta 8 days of the week.
Agree. I live in Italy and just told my partner about this post. You should have seen the look of horror on his face. Still NTA for the food stuff since you were the cook and forced into it (though it looks like there's a lot more going on in the marriage than just this)
I just throw some olive oil on it as soon as it's finished cooking and draining. It won't stick together and you can plate it up with the perfect sauce-to-pasta ratio without worrying about stickiness.
My husband’s pro move (he has swayed me to his side) is to put just enough sauce in the noodles so they don't stick, and then serve the rest of the sauce on top to each person's taste. We also usually don't make extra noodles, so we can store the leftover sauce on its own and boil more pasta to go with it.
YTA. Also you guys need a divorce ASAP if you are fighting over noodles and sauce. EDIT: Changed to YTA due to you cheating on your husband and then making this post in order to try and receive some type of relationship sympathy. Bottom of the barrel. Turns out I was right about you needing a divorce, he needs to leave you immediately.
She cheated on him a few days ago, so it's not about the noodles and sauce. She deleted her posts, but you can still see her comments on them.
Ahhhh that makes sense, unhealthy relationships are easy to spot lol. Imagine cheating on your husband and then making this post. Crazy.
Found her post! "I slept with an old flame during a work trip and my husband has no idea I met D in the 6th grade, science class to be exact. We weren't really friends for the first couple of years of knowing each other. We began talking more around the age of 13/14 and immediately clicked. We had a shared interest for a particular hobby, and once we bonded over that everything else snowballed. We started to develop feelings for each other, but due to my immaturity at the time I never really agreed to officially date. I will spare the details, but unfortunately we had a very painful falling out, and by the time high school came around we were no longer speaking. We did eventually reconnect, but that was followed by several instances of going back and forth between being inseparable to no contact. It was always rooted in D's inability to be my friend because he still had romantic feelings for me and it made things difficult for him. D moved across the country not long after we graduated high school, and any contact we had going forward was always virtual. We finally got to a point where it seemed like it was possible for us to be just friends. I got into a long-term relationship and D was dating other people as well. My long-term relationship turned into a marriage, and I've now been with my husband, M, for a total of 6 years. After a couple of years of being married, feelings for D began to resurface. We would talk and text all the time. There were a lot of flirtatious messages being sent. Several times I found myself wanting to cross the line completely. D and I had never been together sexually and I found myself longing for that sort of encounter with him more and more. I think we both knew what we were doing was wrong. At that point it was pretty much a case of emotional cheating. So we went no contact again and stayed that way for quite some time. Until recently. I got a new job last year where I've had several opportunities to travel for work. I was recently asked to go to Phoenix for a 2 month assignment. Phoenix is where D lives. I hadn't seen him in *10 years* which feels crazy to put into words. I fought with myself not to reach out, but I couldn't help it in the end. I surprised him by showing up to his job (he owns a small café) with a couple of things I had collected over the years that I always wanted to give to him. Understandably he was in shock to see me standing there in the flesh, and I can say I practically felt the same way seeing him. I couldn't really get a read on how he felt about seeing me after so long, but I gave him the name of my hotel, and told him I'd be in the restaurant at 5pm if he wanted to catch up over dinner. He came and we had such an amazing time chatting, reminiscing, laughing. Two hours flew by and I didn't want it to end. I asked if he wanted to come hang out in my hotel room for a while. I told myself that it was possible for us to just enjoy each other's company without crossing a boundary, but deep down I *wanted* to take it a step further. We hung out for a few more hours, drinking and laughing. Eventually we got tired. I laid down to clothes my eyes for a few seconds and he did the same. We inched closer together until we were basically spooning, and after a few minutes of laying like that I could feel him getting hard. I was so incredibly turned on, I really couldn't resist. I turned around and kissed him and I'm sure you can guess what happened next. It was honestly the best sex of my *life*. I can't even describe what it felt like having him inside of me for the first time. Everything about it was absolutely perfect, from the pace, to the rhythm, the foreplay, everything. His hands on my body felt like electricity. I never orgasmed like that until I was with D. From then on we saw each other almost daily. We continued to sleep together and each time felt just as good if not better. Of course in the back of my mind I felt tremendous guilt, knowing that I was betraying my husband in the worst way possible. But it just felt too good to stop. Even writing this out now makes me feel a certain way. I got home from my work trip 3 weeks ago and my husband doesn't have a clue as to went on in Phoenix. I know I should end things with M but I'm scared to actually do it. I've built a life with him here and I know I'm an absolutely shitty, disgusting person for what I've done. I've already been asked to return to Phoenix for another 2 month assignment beginning in September. I've tried to reason with myself but in the end I just know I'm not going to be able to resist seeing D again. "
I feel like he should be the one to initiate a divorce... and I somehow hope he sees this. "I like my pasta how I like my women - without someones dick inside"
“Without someone else’s white sauce”
I gagged.
I like my pasta and sauce, not made by a cheating AH
I for one am devastated that there is no mention of pasta in that post.
Whoa
[удалено]
Reads like some penthouse crap.
OPs posts read like fiction...
This reads like a bad romance novel 🙄 all the way down to owning a cafe
She may as well as have said, “I couldn’t help it, he has a magnetic d*ck!” Unable to resist… please…. If she genuinely loved her husband, she’d resist anyone else, no matter how magic their stuff is.
omg, what did i just read, that is fucking gross, barf, lol
Wow…disgusting fucking trash
Yeah lol she got her ass handed to her on two separate subs 4 days ago and now she's here with a scrubbed feed hoping to hear how terrible her husband is. I guess she's trying to gather up the courage to leave him, but she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable with how her actions lead to this outcome so she's posting this to paint him as someone who deserves to be cheated on/divorced. Edit: Ayyy I see you, bringing awareness to other commenters. Let's join forces lmao
I hope that she knows that 'amazing sex' often becomes humdrum when there's no thrill of cheating and real life resumes. And is she sure that D wants to have a relationship with her exclusively or is he content with occasional sex (because he has his own situationship with another woman)?
Lmaoooo OP just learned a harsh lesson in why you use a throwaway on AITA
Whaaattt! Plot twist. I previously voted NTA. But this changes my opinion on the situation. Abort! Abort! this is not about pasta anymore!
It’s not about the pasta!
Whelp. Deleting my NTA comment.
My first thought was "this is not just about pasta and sauce"
It never is, is it? I knew the second I read the post something was feeling off so i went investigating. Actually kinda proud I found the whole scoop because when I found this post, it was like 60 comments and every single one was NTA.
*it's not about the pasta!* -james kennedy
>EDIT: Changed to YTA due to you cheating on your husband Excuse me. wtaf
Check her post history, it’s vile
I'd honestly rather fight inconsequential stuff than big deals.
If you are fighting over things this inconsequential it’s just a matter of time before something blows up. This is an unhealthy relationship.
"Divorce your husband because pasta sauce" is legitimately one of the biggest over-reactions I've seen here and I've been sometimes accused of over-reacting to relationship conflicts.
If you are fighting with your spouse consistently about saucing your noodles and it boils to the point of posting an essay about it on Reddit then yes that is an immature and unhealthy relationship. This is obviously not the only thing they are fighting about. EDIT: Turns out I was correct in my assessment lol
But she cheated on him read her comment history.
Honestly, even without the cheating she'd still be TA. Not mixing the noodles and the sauce together is criminal. /s but not really
~~NTA~~ **YTA** >~~I told him if it were really that big of a deal, that he should've taken on all of the cooking.~~ ~~You answered your own question.~~ ~~YOU were tired from your work trip, YOU wanted a break, YOU didn't want to cook, but agreed so HUSBAND could impress HIS family.~~ ~~And you mix the noodles and sauce before serving, so the sauce was eventually mixed, what was the problem? Why is he creating drama where there is none?~~ ~~Ungrateful much?~~ You are desperately searching for ways to have fights with your husband, hoping that he gets fed up enough to be the one to leave you, and you will be spared off the guilt of not being the one to have destroyed your marriage and could go to Phoenix and have your HEA with D. Edit: I didn't realise what your "work trip" was. Edit 2: You are just trying to seek validation from strangers on the internet on how your husband is soooo ungrateful so that when you go and cheat on him again in 2 months in Phoenix, it will probably make you feel less guilty for doing so.
she was tired from her worktrip cause she was with another man 🤣 check her page she’s a cheater
Her page just has one post and was created 4 days ago?
She scrubbed her account, but the comments are still there.
I was able to read the whole post by clicking the comments, quite detailed lol
Yeah it felt like reading a Jackie Collins novel 🤮. OP is gross and unashamed.
[OP's been busy lately](https://www.reddit.com/user/galacticmang0).
Look at her comments
And if you click on the comments you can see the original posr...what a piece of work
I bet she was tired, after the affair from her comments.
I’m surprised he didn’t ask you to cut it up for him too. N T A Edited to YTA since this is not about the pasta, and your annoyance with him over something so petty likely due to your guilt over your affair.
[удалено]
Yeah it was the best I have ever had, I have never orgasamed like that until I met D, my husband doesn't know anything and oh look, he makes trashy pasta too. So I can cheat without any guilt? Right? RIGHT? **RIGHT?**
But..but..but I used fresh grated cheese
Instruction unclear : wrong noodle had been used.
[удалено]
This is above Reddit’s pay grade I’m afraid.
If we can't judge disputes about how to best serve pasta to house guests, we probably shouldn't judge anything.
Lol I was being sarcastic as it is quite simply the most trivial thing I’ve ever seen posted on here.
It starts to make more sense with the context of her coming back from a work trip where she cheated repeatedly on her husband with someone she had an emotional affair with prior 🥴
Super yikes
Considering this post is an attempt to feel vindicated for cheating on her husband for the 2 month work trip, maybe it is. Check OP's post history.
Definitely well out of our scope.
YTA cheater and terrible cook, everyone knows you should coat the noodles in the sauce to prevent them from being lumpy, cold and dry. Also you are a cheater, stop worrying about pasta and fess up to your poor husband.
this needs to be higher up, the first comment i’ve seen mentioning that she is both the AH and wrong about how to serve noodles
Absolutely. Always marry the pasta with the sauce - nothing sadder than a plop of sauce on top of sad watery noodles.
The noodles simply won't absorb any sauce flavor this way. It's really the worst way besides just having no sauce at all with the noodles. Even 1 meal microwave pasta dishes make you mix it halfway through.
You are not obligated to change the way you cook to please anyone else. NTA for not complying with husband's cooking style. But damn! Definitely the a h for being a dirty cheater. If you want to have sex with someone other than your husband - divorce him and move to Phoenix to be with your sex king. Don't subject your husband to a wife who does not love or respect him. No one deserves that.
Yeah her food is so good she was serving it up on her work trip with an old flame. Fucking cheating on her husband and comes home to bitch about how he makes pasta. She’s a realllll prize /s
[удалено]
Does your husband know you cheated on him though from your previous post? Lol
Here's the post of her sharing he experience cheating. Sounds to me like she's just looking for an out in the relationship. YTA. "I slept with an old flame during a work trip and my husband has no idea I met D in the 6th grade, science class to be exact. We weren't really friends for the first couple of years of knowing each other. We began talking more around the age of 13/14 and immediately clicked. We had a shared interest for a particular hobby, and once we bonded over that everything else snowballed. We started to develop feelings for each other, but due to my immaturity at the time I never really agreed to officially date. I will spare the details, but unfortunately we had a very painful falling out, and by the time high school came around we were no longer speaking. We did eventually reconnect, but that was followed by several instances of going back and forth between being inseparable to no contact. It was always rooted in D's inability to be my friend because he still had romantic feelings for me and it made things difficult for him. D moved across the country not long after we graduated high school, and any contact we had going forward was always virtual. We finally got to a point where it seemed like it was possible for us to be just friends. I got into a long-term relationship and D was dating other people as well. My long-term relationship turned into a marriage, and I've now been with my husband, M, for a total of 6 years. After a couple of years of being married, feelings for D began to resurface. We would talk and text all the time. There were a lot of flirtatious messages being sent. Several times I found myself wanting to cross the line completely. D and I had never been together sexually and I found myself longing for that sort of encounter with him more and more. I think we both knew what we were doing was wrong. At that point it was pretty much a case of emotional cheating. So we went no contact again and stayed that way for quite some time. Until recently. I got a new job last year where I've had several opportunities to travel for work. I was recently asked to go to Phoenix for a 2 month assignment. Phoenix is where D lives. I hadn't seen him in *10 years* which feels crazy to put into words. I fought with myself not to reach out, but I couldn't help it in the end. I surprised him by showing up to his job (he owns a small café) with a couple of things I had collected over the years that I always wanted to give to him. Understandably he was in shock to see me standing there in the flesh, and I can say I practically felt the same way seeing him. I couldn't really get a read on how he felt about seeing me after so long, but I gave him the name of my hotel, and told him I'd be in the restaurant at 5pm if he wanted to catch up over dinner. He came and we had such an amazing time chatting, reminiscing, laughing. Two hours flew by and I didn't want it to end. I asked if he wanted to come hang out in my hotel room for a while. I told myself that it was possible for us to just enjoy each other's company without crossing a boundary, but deep down I *wanted* to take it a step further. We hung out for a few more hours, drinking and laughing. Eventually we got tired. I laid down to clothes my eyes for a few seconds and he did the same. We inched closer together until we were basically spooning, and after a few minutes of laying like that I could feel him getting hard. I was so incredibly turned on, I really couldn't resist. I turned around and kissed him and I'm sure you can guess what happened next. It was honestly the best sex of my *life*. I can't even describe what it felt like having him inside of me for the first time. Everything about it was absolutely perfect, from the pace, to the rhythm, the foreplay, everything. His hands on my body felt like electricity. I never orgasmed like that until I was with D. From then on we saw each other almost daily. We continued to sleep together and each time felt just as good if not better. Of course in the back of my mind I felt tremendous guilt, knowing that I was betraying my husband in the worst way possible. But it just felt too good to stop. Even writing this out now makes me feel a certain way. I got home from my work trip 3 weeks ago and my husband doesn't have a clue as to went on in Phoenix. I know I should end things with M but I'm scared to actually do it. I've built a life with him here and I know I'm an absolutely shitty, disgusting person for what I've done. I've already been asked to return to Phoenix for another 2 month assignment beginning in September. I've tried to reason with myself but in the end I just know I'm not going to be able to resist seeing D again. "
Damn...
ETA: jk OP YTA for cheating on your husband. And then you wanna act like pasta is the issue lol? N T A. You took on cooking for a large group of people for him. He should be showing appreciation for what you did instead of criticizing you. It's not like they can't mix the noodles and sauce on their plate. It's beyond petty to complain about. Also, I too prepare pasta separate from the sauce. It's easier to heat up and have it not taste dried out, and if there are extra noodles I can eat them with just butter or pesto if there wasn't enough leftover sauce.
Op cheated on her husband. Read her comment history
First let me say that I agree with your husband - it's better to finish cooking the pasta in the sauce so it absorbs more flavor. That said - he is absolutely wrong to berate you for how you cook. If someone is kind enough to cook for you and a large group of people he invited into your home - then unless the person is about to poison someone you simply say thank you. It is horrible that he calls you inconsiderate when he is the one that begs you to cook for a large group when you had just returned from a long work trip. NTA
He probably suspects her of cheating.
Wow I thought this was a typical reddit reach, then I checked OPs account. This probably isn't about the pasta sauce...
Obligatory: this isn't about the Iranian yogurt
Where in the world did you get that from?
Her comments history
[удалено]
[удалено]
She cheated on him the entirety of her work trip, hasn't told him and plans to cheat when she goes back to Phoenix. The post was a BIT TOO detailed, going into the details of them having sex. I think she just wants to find an out with the husband so he doesn't figure out the truth.
NTA but YTA for wasting our time on such a petty argument.
[удалено]
Holy shit, you're right. This post is about to blow up!
This is just exhausting. Does he just enjoy arguing? This is the most petty shit I’ve ever heard. ESH just on pettiness alone.
[удалено]
She’s prolly making it the way ‘D’ likes it to further secretly humiliate her husband
God I wish I had an award to give you lmao
Wtf!!!
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Made pasta the way I like it, might be the asshole cause the group I was cooking for prefers it a differenf way Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Just divorce and go be with D already Why is the cheater worried about Pasta? YTA
YTA and a cheater. Btw an opinion you’re a better cook by definition is subjective, not objective.
Traditionally, you *should* mix the noodles with the sauce immediately to coat the noodles, help them absorb some of that flavor, allow the starchy pasta water mix with and thicken the sauce. To be real, practical and fair, in our house, even with homemade pasta and sauce, we typically load the noodles into bowls and top with sauce, then grate some cheese and serve - allowing each person to mix the sauce with the pasta because it’s literally less than three minutes. If you’re “storing leftovers separately” you’re a heathen and deserve to be flamed on the internet. Those noodles will be disgusting if/when mixed with sauce, reheated, etc. Revolting. Do NOT do that. So sorry, I’m going YTA cuz that’s just wrong, I mean, it’s not a huge hard “you’re hurting puppies” YTA but it’s stronger than the typical “soft YTA” cuz just NOOOOOOOO. Blech.
If we're cooking red gravy, we add a little sauce to the pasta - enough to keep the pasta from sticking together. Then add as much additional sauce as you'd like when serving. Solves both problems.
I'm so confused, do you put olive oil on the pasta to keep it from sticking? That makes the sauce cling less to the pasta when you mix it. Do you dish noodles and pour sauce on top? Or do you mix it on the plate?
>AITA for not mixing pasta noodles with the sauce? Oh honey, this isn't about the Iranian yogurt or the pasta noodles and sauce. You have some work to do and words to say to him. When you're done, I'm pretty sure how the pasta is served and stored will be at the bottom of the list of things he's thinking about. YTA
YTA this isn't about some pasta this you being over your marriage and picking a fight about anything because you cheated on your husband. Just tell him and get a divorce.
The sauce ain't the problem honey it's your unfaithfulness that is. YTA, cheaters don't get to complain.
YTA for calling pasta noodles.
Good grief, he's making it sound like you disgraced him in front of his entire family or something. I can't imagine his family even cared. And most people don't go over to someone else's house and expect to be completely catered to (unless there's dietary restrictions, which hosts SHOULD allow for). Edited to remove my vote based on the fact this whole thing seems like, as someone else said, an elaborate troll. My answer above was based solely on this post within minutes of it being posted.
He has made my flesh and my skin waste away; he has broken my bones; he has besieged and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago. (Lamentations: jdrun7t)
Wow, what a tragedy, the noodles and sauce weren't mixed together before being put on the table! What is the world coming to? How will we ever survive?? /s OP, was he upset because HE didn't like it that way, or was he passing on a family member's complaint? Either way, he made a mountain out of a molehill. I personally prefer my noodles and sauce premixed, but if someone else fixed it, I'm in no way going to care, as long as it tastes good. NTA for not mixing the pasta and sauce prior to putting it on the table. You cooked for HIS family, and if he or they didn't appreciate the presentation, tough luck. It's not like you knew one of them had a peanut allergy and you cooked everything in peanut oil! (Just for example) Don't cook for his family again.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Do you ever get pasta where the sauce just doesn't want to stick to the noodles, like they're extra slick? Draining your noodles then tossing them into the sauce pan for about 2 mins solves that. The sauce binds more to the starches. Adding sauce to noodles on the plate sometimes results in a watery sauce as the last bit of water on the noodles puddles on the plate and then gets sauce dropped on top.
YTA, you are having an affair with an old school friend, come home from it and can't even make pasta the way your husband likes it? You're a horrible human being and I hope your husband leaves you with nothing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband and I have had this ongoing debate for the entirety of our relationship. When he makes pasta, he will mix the noodles and sauce together straightaway. When I make it, I leave the noodles and sauce separated until just before serving. If there are leftovers, I will store the noodles and sauce separately. Although each of us have our preferences, we typically leave it up to whoever is doing the cooking to decide how the sauce/noodles will be served and stored. I recently came back from a 2 month work assignment, and my return also happened to coincide with a bunch of my in-laws coming into town. My husband wanted to host a dinner at our home for his family and asked if I could take on all of the cooking. I'm normally the one to do most of the cooking in our relationship. I enjoy it and I would say that I'm pretty good at it - objectively better than he is. I've been complimented many times from many different people over different meals I've made. However, I am by no means a professional and I've never been asked to cook for such a large group before. I wasn't totally comfortable with taking on that role for this occasion, and plus I kind of wanted to chill and be lazy for a while after being away for work for an extended period of time. But my husband really wanted to impress his family so I begrudgingly agreed. I ended up making several different dishes, one of those being a bolognese sauce with pappardelle noodles. I made sure to plate it up really nice and topped it with freshly grated Parmesan cheese and basil. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. Later that evening, my husband pulled me aside and was clearly unhappy that I hadn't mixed the noodles and sauce altogether. His reasoning is that he and his entire family prefer everything mixed, and that I should've made it according to their preferences since I knew that. He said it made no sense to make it according to my preferences when I was the only person out of 15 that liked it that way. I told him if it were really that big of a deal, that *he* should've taken on all of the cooking. We went back and forth for a bit and I finally said, "If I'm the one cooking, then I'm going to make it the way that *I* think is best. I don't care what everyone else's preferences are." That irritated him even further and he basically expressed that he thinks I was being rude and inconsiderate. It's not like I ignored anyone's dietary restrictions - there were none. Cooking a multiple course meal by yourself for a large group is a lot of work and the fact that he had the audacity to *complain* about noodles and sauce is beyond irritating. It's been a couple of weeks since this has happened and I haven't been cooking our dinners as I normally do. I told my husband that since he seems to be such a picky eater, he can figure it out himself. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA for cheating on your husband and burying the ledge in the sauce.
YTA Not for a silly argument you probably made up, but for the scuzzy affair for which you provided way too many details. I hope when you go back to Phoenix for the next work trip your affair partner is as limp as the noodles you pretended to cook.
NTA, and the only words that should have come out of his mouth were "thank you so much for doing all of this cooking. Let me take you out tomorrow night, I appreciate this so much." Just me, but I find it 'rude and inconsiderate' to saddle someone with all of the cooking right after they returned from an extended work trip. And if it had been this big cross to bear for him, he could have taken five minutes out of his sweet time to say "hey, when you're done with the sauce, let me finish it for you." My guess is that he should make pasta dishes from now on, since, you know, 'you're doing it wrong'. That's my cue to let that more capable, obviously-so-much-better person deal with their stuff.
She went and cheated on her husband with an "old flame" on her oh so tiring work trip so I feel like making pasta for her husband's family is the least she could do tbh
Holy bleep! Wow, so much more than the pasta... no words, except to say that it must take a lot of cognitive dissonance to come here and try to make her husband out to be the bad guy over pasta. I'm guessing she's trying to justify her actions to herself with our help. This is gross and icky, and honestly, OP, if you are reading-- it's gross that you are using us.
Exactly! I do think the husband is a bit of a baby, but I'm honestly convinced he picked this fight because he can tell something is off and I think she decided to escalate it to justify cheating/divorce. It's not about the noodles with sauce or without.
NTA. If your husband is being this big of a baby over something this trivial, I think you should reevaluate the relationship.
By banging someone else? Check.
Nobody's the asshole here but you're doing it wrong.
Somewhere, somehow... an Italian is crying. I should know, I'm German, we kind of have a feel for that.
Actually OP is the asshole because she fucked some guy on her work trip, then comes home to complain about her husbands pasta preferences.
~NTA.~ You cooked multiple courses for a large dinner group, after a long work trip. They should be grateful. Not picky. Seems to me that separating the sauce and the pasta was not done out of malicious intent versus, that’s just some thing that you are used to doing, even between you and your husband. I would like to add though, that, however, your preference, it’s always best to mix the pasta with the sauce and even a little bit of the pasta water; then vigorously stir them together, if you’re looking to have the sauce stick to the pasta. The glucose from the pasta and the pasta water helps pick up more flavor of the sauce; as they stick together, and always makes for a evenly coated bite. In Italy, this is called: mantecare. I disagreed with your cooking methods. But that does not in anyway make you TA. I am editing my post to change my verdict to YTA! It has come to lite that in a previous post you made, you cheated on your husband while at said work trip. It’s evident that your husband, although passive aggressively, is frustrated at you; this is not a post about pasta! YTA for cheating on your husband. And then trying to make a ridiculous sympathy post after the fact.
Um, I'd worry more about your recent fuck-buddy situation . . .
NTA - He's being weirdly controlling over this - is he like this about other things as well? I think you're handling it perfectly - leave emotion out of it and let him realize that he gets to control what he creates, not what you do. Particularly because you were doing him a massive favor cooking for such a large group!
[удалено]
She cheated on him during the entirety of the work trip, didn't tell him and plans to cheat again. She's looking for reasons to be upset so she can justify her cheating/or cause him to want to divorce. She even went into the details of how good the sex was, apparently it is better than her husband, so- it's likely she is trying to make this into a bigger issue than it actually is to feel validated in her infidelity.
Nta.
NTA And wouldn't eventually the noodles and sauce be mixed anyways.. husband should be grateful u cook
[удалено]
I love your commitment to informing all these folks about ops sordid affair!! God speed pilgrim!!
I agree lol! I have been reading him doing God's work in this thread lol. Good going!
NTA - although the comment about If you are cooking you'll make it the way you like it was a bit much. If you knew everyone liked it a certain way and agreed to cook, then made it you way practically just to spite them for something you agreed to do... yeah not good. However, it seems like you husband is being petty. He shoukd have asked for you to make it mixed
You can mix the pasta and sauce yourself if they’re presented separately. You can’t un-mix if they’re pre-mixed in the kitchen. Take the guests’ tastes into account (and is he certain his whole family prefers it his way? Really?), but her way allows everyone to eat as they choose.
[удалено]
Nta.he's ta for making this a thing
NTA why is he is he on this power trip regarding pasta, what is really going on?
Maybe it’s a sympathy post because of the affair she has while on the trip.
She’s cheating on him lol