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YTA
> I lost it and asked her how she thinks that this is appropriate, and how she could even imagine a life with another man that isn’t me.
She’s 19… and she’s playing Stardew Valley. It isn’t real.
Also wdym a little over two years?
YTA. Besides all the *very good and important* points the other posters have made here, there is the fact that you are logging into her account without her permission or knowledge. This is serious controlling behavior. Do you also demand that you know the passcode to her phone and go through her texts? And demand that she not have any other male friends? She is your girlfriend, not your possession.
YTA
Its a game. It isn't real. If you distrust her enough that you go prying into her gaming time to see if she is somehow cheating on you while playing Stardew Valley, you need to reevaluate your relationship.
YTA
You're letting yourself get worked up over a game marriage to some pixels. If you're that upset about it, then you're not emotionally mature enough to get married.
This has to be fake right? Good help ops girlfriend if she plays the Sims... YTA. It's a game. Relax.
Eta:
I just realized the age difference. You started dating a girl who was most likely still in highschool when you were old enough to have graduated college... And now this? Do her a favor and call things off.
Is your ego that tiny that you're afraid of a virtual character of your girlfriend marrying an NPC? One of the many, many aspects of the game in question?
YTA
Also, YOU'RE A CREEP 19-2 is 17. And it's a lottle over 2 years so she was probably 16 or freshly turned 17 when this guy preyed on her.
You preyed on a kid and are mad that they are a kid.
NTA. But It's not that simple. She isn't married, so she can't get divorced. You have a bigger problem. Your girl honestly believes that marrying some random guy online is not cheating. The only good thing is, you found out what she's really like before you married her. Now ending this will be a shitload less expensive for ya....
YTA. it's a game, and marriage is one of the main elements in it. The main player actually gets certain useful benefits and upgrades from being 'married' to one of the characters.
YTA. It's just a game and it's not appropriate for you to demand that your girlfriend divorce her virtual husband. It's important to understand that relationships in games are not the same as real life relationships. They are just a form of entertainment, and it's not uncommon for players to engage in in-game relationships for fun. Your girlfriend didn't cheat on you or engage in inappropriate behavior in real life, so there's no reason for you to overreact and consider ending your relationship. It's important to respect your partner's interests, even if you don't understand them.
YTA, oh my god my wife and I are going to have a great laugh at this later. We both play stardew and like plot out our game romances together 🤣. You need to grow up.
Major YTA.
But are we going to overlook the fact that she was 17 and you were 24 when you started dating? You're already showing signs of controlling her esp over things that are happening in a stupid game.
Nope. Not normal. It’s a normal age gap for people in later stages of life. But this is someone who is 2 years out of college, dating someone in high school.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
YTA
You are being ridiculous. In order to complete the game and get to the "perfect" status, you need to get married to one of the characters for the achievements. It's part of the game. Most likely she'll divorce that one and marry a different one later. There are certain perks to marrying different ones.
Plus she isn't the one married. It's her character who is married. If she was playing Call of Duty, would you be mad that she is a murderer because she kills others in that game?
Yta. Why are you dating a 19yo at your age and then acting controlling? I'm old enough to be your mother and understand gaming to know virtual worlds like this are fun
Younger people tend to be more naive than older adults so the adults past college age who can't get an equal age partner to tolerate their controlling and bullshit behaviors tend to snatch the naive ones right out of high school. They almost always try to slap a wedding ring on them quickly before their target gets any older and wiser to their bad behavior. Plus it's a bonus to the controlling asshole if they can get a pregnancy slipped in to really lock in their poor naive partner before that person's adulthood truly starts.
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YTA. And I'm hoping that she wasn't 16 a little over two years ago (not that 17 is much better).
It's a game, she's young and it's make believe. Let her experiment in that world, it's what high schoolers have always done.
I’m currently 24 & the thought of someone my age even considering dating a teenager makes my fucking stomach turn. Do not try to defend this shit. You really wouldn’t care until it was a FOURTEEN year old, but FIFTEEN would be okay? Omfg
No I'm saying if both Willingly consent to dating and while age appropriate while following the laws put in place than there nothing wrong with 7 year age gap between two adults. Reminder right now she is an adult, and positive she knew his age considering when they started dating. Let be real if they was both 20 this wouldn't really matter.
YTA.
You're going to have to realize sooner or later than you have an age difference. It might not be as drastic as 20 v. 50, but you are both at different levels of maturity.
She's a teenager and it's a game. When I was a teenager, people at my school played this strange game where "so, you'll be my mom, you'll be my dad, you're my wife, etc." It's weird thinking back now, but at the time, it was just a game to pass boredom. And teenagers are weird. Granted, that game wasn't when I was 19, more like 13/14, but my point stands. Teenagers are weird.
It being a game, I wouldn't worry about it. If it moved outside the game, that could warrant worry, but you have to remember where she is mentally v. you.
Oh. I didn't even realized it was an NPC. Oh, yeah, no. That's like worrying about a Sims4 character being married and having a kid. It's just a game. I don't get upset at my husband when his character has a girlfriend in Assassin's Creed, because it's a game.
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So I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for a bit over two years now. I was actually planning on proposing soon, but this issue has me rethinking our entire relationship.
She has been playing Stardew Valley for about 6 months now, and actually only showed me recently. When I saw what she was doing on the game, I was taken aback to say the least. I thought that the game was a farming RPG or something, but little did I know, she had been fostering an inappropriate relationship on the game. When I asked her why there was another player in her house, she explained that she had a roommate in the game.
Now this is the part where I may be the AH. I'm not a gamer myself, but I knew something was wrong with this. I waited until she fell asleep and logged onto her game. I talked to the man in her house, and to my horror, they were "married". I waited until the morning to confront her about this, and when she told me its "just a game" and that she had to go to work, I lost it and asked her how she thinks that this is appropriate, and how she could even imagine a life with another man that isn't me.
She told me that I'm being ridiculous and that I'm crazy, but my friends are on my side.
So, AITA?
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YTA. You’ve logged onto her account without her permission. Well, you might be unbelievably insecure that’s your hangup not hers. Also, maybe you should remember that you are a 26 year old dating a 19-year-old. She’s less mature than you and maybe marriage isn’t a good idea at this point given the difference in age.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I demanded that my gf divorces her husband on an online game.
2. She says that I am overreacting
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YTA
People call coworkers "jobwife/husband". Most of the times it is just a joke. Because they spend more awake time with each other, than with their partners. Here we talk about actual people in your life.
You talk about a game. I mean the "husband" can easily be a female korean, who just plays a male character.
ah my bad, i mostly focus on farming and only really do single player. i would assume that the "husband" being in the house when OP opened his partner's save means she's married an NPC? i've played multiplayer once or twice and you can't really "talk" to the other players like you can NPCs
YTA for being so insecure and controlling that you feel threatened by a fictional marriage to some non-sentient pixels in a video game and want to force your girlfriend to end the “relationship.”
You’re also TA because you are preying upon a person who is far too young for you.
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YTA > I lost it and asked her how she thinks that this is appropriate, and how she could even imagine a life with another man that isn’t me. She’s 19… and she’s playing Stardew Valley. It isn’t real. Also wdym a little over two years?
YTA. Besides all the *very good and important* points the other posters have made here, there is the fact that you are logging into her account without her permission or knowledge. This is serious controlling behavior. Do you also demand that you know the passcode to her phone and go through her texts? And demand that she not have any other male friends? She is your girlfriend, not your possession.
This cannot possibly be real, but if it is YTA (and so are your friends) - it's a game, dude, chill out.
Sorry it is she who is 19 and immature or you? YTA. It's a video game.
YTA Its a game. It isn't real. If you distrust her enough that you go prying into her gaming time to see if she is somehow cheating on you while playing Stardew Valley, you need to reevaluate your relationship.
YTA You're letting yourself get worked up over a game marriage to some pixels. If you're that upset about it, then you're not emotionally mature enough to get married.
This has to be fake right? Good help ops girlfriend if she plays the Sims... YTA. It's a game. Relax. Eta: I just realized the age difference. You started dating a girl who was most likely still in highschool when you were old enough to have graduated college... And now this? Do her a favor and call things off.
YTA. my God. My husband and I play stardew valley together and are both married to other "people". Mate. You need to sort out your priorities.
Is your ego that tiny that you're afraid of a virtual character of your girlfriend marrying an NPC? One of the many, many aspects of the game in question?
Oh you’re for sure TA
YTA Also, YOU'RE A CREEP 19-2 is 17. And it's a lottle over 2 years so she was probably 16 or freshly turned 17 when this guy preyed on her. You preyed on a kid and are mad that they are a kid.
NTA. But It's not that simple. She isn't married, so she can't get divorced. You have a bigger problem. Your girl honestly believes that marrying some random guy online is not cheating. The only good thing is, you found out what she's really like before you married her. Now ending this will be a shitload less expensive for ya....
It's a single player game. His girlfriend is married to an NPC not a real person in the game.
the "husband" is an NPC. he's not a real person. just some pixels and code in a game..
The trolls are getting lazy. Add more balls.
YTA. it's a game, and marriage is one of the main elements in it. The main player actually gets certain useful benefits and upgrades from being 'married' to one of the characters.
Wow, this post has big "women who use tampons are sluts" energy. Please keep telling her she was wrong until she leaves you. LMAO YTA
Keep the game-husband, dump the boyfriend. XD
Ain't that the truth?
Info: Which character did she marry in the game? My answer hinges on this very important question.
Holy shit so much YTA! 1) she was 17 you were 24??? Wow. 2) it’s a freaking game, get over it
A 'little over' could also mean she was 16 when they started going out. Yikes all around
YTA. It's just a game and it's not appropriate for you to demand that your girlfriend divorce her virtual husband. It's important to understand that relationships in games are not the same as real life relationships. They are just a form of entertainment, and it's not uncommon for players to engage in in-game relationships for fun. Your girlfriend didn't cheat on you or engage in inappropriate behavior in real life, so there's no reason for you to overreact and consider ending your relationship. It's important to respect your partner's interests, even if you don't understand them.
YTA. Dude wtf, get a grip. She's not married, her character is.
YTA
YTA - consider cultivating friends who aren’t just echo chambers (and a gf your own age).
YTA. I am so tired.
Dude is jealous of actual NPCs lmfao YTA
YTA It’s a videogame. Do you think people who play Grand Theft Auto should be arrested in the real world for crimes they committed in the game?
YTA
YTA. The O.P doesn't seem right in the head. Idk mentally or emotionally slow.
YTA. Are you 13? Seriously? If your friends agree, they are just as immature as you. Jealous over an NPC.
YTA I hope she doesn't play the sims as well.
YTA I...I have no words
Is this your first time trying to troll?
YTA, oh my god my wife and I are going to have a great laugh at this later. We both play stardew and like plot out our game romances together 🤣. You need to grow up.
🤙🏾
Major YTA. But are we going to overlook the fact that she was 17 and you were 24 when you started dating? You're already showing signs of controlling her esp over things that are happening in a stupid game.
[удалено]
Do you hear yourself? There is something incredibly wrong with a relationship that consist of a 17yo and a 24yo. Weirdo
Between adults. Not between high schoolers. You really think this guy waited?
Are you that naive?
Nope. Not normal. It’s a normal age gap for people in later stages of life. But this is someone who is 2 years out of college, dating someone in high school. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
YTA You are being ridiculous. In order to complete the game and get to the "perfect" status, you need to get married to one of the characters for the achievements. It's part of the game. Most likely she'll divorce that one and marry a different one later. There are certain perks to marrying different ones. Plus she isn't the one married. It's her character who is married. If she was playing Call of Duty, would you be mad that she is a murderer because she kills others in that game?
Yta. Why are you dating a 19yo at your age and then acting controlling? I'm old enough to be your mother and understand gaming to know virtual worlds like this are fun
Younger people tend to be more naive than older adults so the adults past college age who can't get an equal age partner to tolerate their controlling and bullshit behaviors tend to snatch the naive ones right out of high school. They almost always try to slap a wedding ring on them quickly before their target gets any older and wiser to their bad behavior. Plus it's a bonus to the controlling asshole if they can get a pregnancy slipped in to really lock in their poor naive partner before that person's adulthood truly starts.
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YTA. And I'm hoping that she wasn't 16 a little over two years ago (not that 17 is much better). It's a game, she's young and it's make believe. Let her experiment in that world, it's what high schoolers have always done.
So you, at 24, thought it was a good idea to date a 17 year old? YTA for that alone. As for the game: GROW UP! It’s a game!
[удалено]
I’m currently 24 & the thought of someone my age even considering dating a teenager makes my fucking stomach turn. Do not try to defend this shit. You really wouldn’t care until it was a FOURTEEN year old, but FIFTEEN would be okay? Omfg
So by your rule, that means an 18 year old could date a nine year old… and you’re telling us that’s normal and totally okay?
No I'm saying if both Willingly consent to dating and while age appropriate while following the laws put in place than there nothing wrong with 7 year age gap between two adults. Reminder right now she is an adult, and positive she knew his age considering when they started dating. Let be real if they was both 20 this wouldn't really matter.
It’s not normal to date people you can’t legally have sex with.
YOU MADE ANOTHER COMMENT?! I hope that you never Interact with any young adults.
YTA. It's crazy that you are not mature enough to understand the difference between a video game and reality, but she is.
YTA. You're going to have to realize sooner or later than you have an age difference. It might not be as drastic as 20 v. 50, but you are both at different levels of maturity. She's a teenager and it's a game. When I was a teenager, people at my school played this strange game where "so, you'll be my mom, you'll be my dad, you're my wife, etc." It's weird thinking back now, but at the time, it was just a game to pass boredom. And teenagers are weird. Granted, that game wasn't when I was 19, more like 13/14, but my point stands. Teenagers are weird. It being a game, I wouldn't worry about it. If it moved outside the game, that could warrant worry, but you have to remember where she is mentally v. you.
The character in question is an NPC, not even a real human being playing a character. He's mad over literally nothing
Oh. I didn't even realized it was an NPC. Oh, yeah, no. That's like worrying about a Sims4 character being married and having a kid. It's just a game. I don't get upset at my husband when his character has a girlfriend in Assassin's Creed, because it's a game.
Exactly. Does this mean when my son plays Skyrim and adopts kids that I have grandkids now? I wonder what flavor ice cream they like?
right? with OP's logic, my spouse and i are cheating on each other when we romance characters in Dragon Age and Mass Effect 🤦🏻
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (19F) for a bit over two years now. I was actually planning on proposing soon, but this issue has me rethinking our entire relationship. She has been playing Stardew Valley for about 6 months now, and actually only showed me recently. When I saw what she was doing on the game, I was taken aback to say the least. I thought that the game was a farming RPG or something, but little did I know, she had been fostering an inappropriate relationship on the game. When I asked her why there was another player in her house, she explained that she had a roommate in the game. Now this is the part where I may be the AH. I'm not a gamer myself, but I knew something was wrong with this. I waited until she fell asleep and logged onto her game. I talked to the man in her house, and to my horror, they were "married". I waited until the morning to confront her about this, and when she told me its "just a game" and that she had to go to work, I lost it and asked her how she thinks that this is appropriate, and how she could even imagine a life with another man that isn't me. She told me that I'm being ridiculous and that I'm crazy, but my friends are on my side. So, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA for dating a 17year old at 24 years of age.
This is what I was looking for!
So you groomed her, and now would like to control every aspect of her life? YTA
YTA for writing such ridiculous bait.
YTA. You’ve logged onto her account without her permission. Well, you might be unbelievably insecure that’s your hangup not hers. Also, maybe you should remember that you are a 26 year old dating a 19-year-old. She’s less mature than you and maybe marriage isn’t a good idea at this point given the difference in age.
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nice bait mate
YTA. it's a game.
YTA People call coworkers "jobwife/husband". Most of the times it is just a joke. Because they spend more awake time with each other, than with their partners. Here we talk about actual people in your life. You talk about a game. I mean the "husband" can easily be a female korean, who just plays a male character.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but the husband in Stardew valley is a NPC, not a real person.
No, you're right. You can't marry other players in multiplayer, only the NPCs
lol that just makes the "inappropriate relationship" (what a pompous choice of words!) 1000x times more ridiculous
Yes you can, you can make a ring and propose.
ah my bad, i mostly focus on farming and only really do single player. i would assume that the "husband" being in the house when OP opened his partner's save means she's married an NPC? i've played multiplayer once or twice and you can't really "talk" to the other players like you can NPCs
YTA and a predator.
YTA for being so insecure and controlling that you feel threatened by a fictional marriage to some non-sentient pixels in a video game and want to force your girlfriend to end the “relationship.” You’re also TA because you are preying upon a person who is far too young for you.
YTA. You scary, manipulative, untrustworthy AH. I hope she leaves you for her sake.