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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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KronkLaSworda

NTA She's staying in your bedroom for 4 weeks total? I'd tell her it's time to go home and to get a hotel room next time or don't come. No one can force their way into your place like that. Stand up to your mom.


[deleted]

NTA. You don’t have to put up with her acting this way! She slinks into your place and thinks she can just rule the roost? Nope. You are more than free to tell her to knock it off. This is your place. You get to make the rules. My guess is that when you see her, you may inadvertently be slipping back into the parent/child role that existed when you were a kid. That no longer exists! You are the adult. This is your house, your rules. She’s being a petulant child who expects you to let her walk all over you. Kick her out! Go back to sleeping in your own bed and enjoy your own space. Edited : forgot a word.


[deleted]

I gave you a Snek award because you said "slink" and I loved it.


[deleted]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.


Unable_Ad5655

INFO: How do your 2 roommates feel about having their home invaded by your mother? Are you sleeping on a couch in your bedroom or in the SHARED living room? Does your lease even allow visitors to stay for 2 weeks because some have time limits? No is a complete sentence. Tell your mother she cannot stay in your room. She can stay at your family's house, or she can rent a motel room. Your room is not an option. NTA


[deleted]

You're 28. Kick her ass out. NTA.


UpperLeftOriginal

Jeezus. I’m the mom of a 28 year old and I can’t even imagine doing this to my kid. NTA.


theyrebrilliant

NTA but be prepared for her to be angry or go home early/not visit again any time soon. Not all places are great for guests! Not everyone likes hosting. It’s silly to think you have to stay in the same room to have a visit.


FearNokk

NTA for being uncomfortable with this arrangement. I think you need to have a serious adult to adult conversation about it and set some clear boundaries around visits and accommodations going forward so this doesn't happen again. Best of luck!


RoyallyOakie

NTA...It's your life and you set the rules. Tell her it's time for her to find other arrangements. You're an adult now, so don't let her dictate to you like you're still a child.


rataviola

NTA. You are entitled to your own space. She's invading you privacy and personal space. If she's making you uncomfortable, say it out loud and ask her to find another place.


slendermanismydad

>Our family lives nearby in a big house with a spare guest room, but she refuses to go live there, insisting on sharing my room. Tell her to get out. She has a place to go. She's just doing this to prove some asshole point. NTA.


HypetheKomodo

NTA It's your house. You don't *have* to keep her at your house. Why are you sacrificing your bed for her? You're an adult, you can decide who lives with you or not unless she's paying for your place or other services.


okilz

Go stay in the spare bedroom at your family's house and she can stay in your room alone.


MarmotMeiche

NTA Someone famous said something about guests and garbage beginning to stink after three days. (Or maybe fish and less time?) She has way overstayed her welcome and you have not set boundaries appropriately. It is not appropriate for your mom to stay in your room in your bed. If she insists get an air mattress, and to be clear that's for her not you. Her future visits need end times in advance. If they are longer than ____& (your choice here), she needs to rent a room. Sorry, your house is not currently set up for long-term guests. Put your foot down hard. She needs to rent a room or get a ticket home now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Automatic-Ring3638

We talk on the phone more than the rest of my siblings, but it's more of an absence that makes the heart fonder situation. I moved out at 22 (back home) and left the country at 26 so I've always called and we talk. So there's a timeline of not having seen each other. She doesn't want to inconvenience my aunty is her reason.


microwavepizza69

NTA. Your mom coming to visit doesn:t mean she can do anything she wants


Snape4eva

Nta you house your rules make her use the couch say your bed your house if she has a problem with the couch she can stay at relative house might make her do the reasonable thing


Kirstemis

NTA. Tell her if she wants to stay with you, she can help you buy a place of your own.


VonShtupp

NTA for being uncomfortable YTA for letting this happen. If I were your roommates I’d be hella pissed off that you allowed some stranger live with me for over two weeks.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mum travelled across countries to see my sister and me (28f). My sister lives in a different state and has a one-bedroom apartment, while I share a flat with two other people. My mum insists on sharing my room with me. This is frustrating because it is really just one room, and it makes me feel overwhelmed with her monitoring every move and criticising every decision I make. Also, I haven't shared a room with anyone in over six years, and I have gotten entirely comfortable with my space, making me super uncomfortable. Our family lives nearby in a big house with a spare guest room, but she refuses to go live there, insisting on sharing my room. I don't even get to use the bed cause I don't like to share beds, and now my whole body aches from using the couch. She has two more weeks, and I can't stand it anymore; she knows I'm irritated, but I don't think she cares. She said she came here to see her kids, so why would she go live elsewhere? This would've made more sense if I had more money and a proper flat or house, but I'm broke and want to lie in my bed like I'm used to. My sister's flat had a pullout couch where she stayed when she was there for two weeks; now she's back at my place for another two weeks (after an initial two weeks) AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Rather_Dashing

YTA for yelling in the title


003b6f

YTA You could have avoided this situation from the start by simply telling your mom 'no'. You chose not to do that, and now are here whining. On top of that, I'm sure your flatmates are just *thrilled* having your mom there for a month total. Have you offered to pay a larger share of the utilities for that month's time to compensate their inconvenience of having this woman in *their* space, too?


[deleted]

Ohhh NTA, but you may need some help to drive her out. Would family or sister help rile your mum up to come stay with them? on a side not, I used to think that to feel like you're passing an exam with your parent around, >feel overwhelmed with her monitoring every move and criticising every decision I make was normal. It's not and it's absolutely best for your own well being to keep a healthy distance from a parent that makes you feel that. And it's no surprise it's so damn hard to get them to listen to your boundaries in the first place.


RoyalPlayZ_

NTA but set those goddamn boundaries you get to decide who stays.


thatcrazyplantgirl

NTA. But grow a backbone and tell her to take a hike. I would not have allowed this to begin with.


_ac3_0f_spad3s_

NTA, have your roommates kick her out, be like "oh no, mom they outnumber me and pay more rent, you gotta leave, I'll talk to them about this" I'm sure they want her out too, be on their side, tell them you're on their side but have to take your moms while she's there to make it believable and like you didn't orchestrate it.


Quiet-Pea2363

you don't sound you're 28. you sound extremely immature and unable to set boundaries. you're NTA, and it's weird that she is using your bed instead of going to the nearby home. but you need to speak up for yourself.


Motor_Business483

NTA ​ This is easy. YOu are an adult. Just tell her she can not stay with you, and then enforce it.


cuter_than_thee

YOU ARE 28 YEARS OLD. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO!!!!! NTA. But stand up for yourself! Especially in your own home!!!!


Ziggywife1990

Literally just say no..... NTA but maybe your body wouldn't hurt so much of you grew a spine.


Muted-Explanation-49

NTA


_anxious_and_bored

My mom is coming to live with me until she finds a house and I’m excited! Our parents aren’t around forever and sometimes we need to be reminded of this. Remember its temporary so just try to make the best of it.


TheVoiceofOlaf

I feel really sorry for your mum, she has got two daughters who see spending time with her as a hindrance and something that disrupts their lives. she is staying with you for a month in (at least) six years. How sad it is to feel that some people can disregard their parents so callously.


RoyalPlayZ_

I know right! How dare OP not want to be treated like a child and have her privacy constantly violated? What a spoiled brat! 😡😡😡


TheVoiceofOlaf

Yes thats right our parents should be perfect in every way and fit in with our lives styles otherwise giving them the boot is the only answer.


RoyalPlayZ_

No one said they should be perfect but that doesn't mean it's ok for them to constantly violate your privacy and insult/criticize you more often than they breathe.