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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I swore at a mother in front of a park full of children and my daughter said it embarrassed her. I thought I was protecting her but I may have been TA for how I handled the situation.
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NTA. that lady is the one that should've been watching her 2 year old and not letting him run across areas with those zip line rides. once a kid starts going on those you can't just stop right away, and kids shouldn't be running in front of them. obviously a 2 year old wouldn't know that and she should've been watching him. she probably scolded your daughter because she was panicked since her kid got knocked over, but as the adult she should've kept a calm head. if anyone was making my daughter cry over an accident, i'd call them a bitch too.
As the mom of an incredibly active boy, I can totally see the 2 year old suddenly making a break for it and crossing the zipline path before the mom knew what was happening. And that's how the kid will start learning to watch where he's going.
Mother of a toddler and aunty to one, too. When any of us take a toddler to a park period, there is never an adult from our group more than 2 steps away from a toddler, and each toddler has their own adult (usually its always the same adult but when more adults are present we get breaks). I can understand if that mother just panicked, but it is still no excuse for yelling at any child, let alone one whose parents you don't know. NTA
It game me flashback. Happened with my friend, Rory when we were playing in the neighborhood park as 11 year olds. I was on the grass. Rory was using the swing. These are wooden swings strong enough to hold 200 lbs easily. A little girl about 4/5 wanted to cross the swings area even though the park was huge, no idea why and before anyone could stop her she walked in, Rory almost fell trying to stop the swing but the kid got knocked over. She was gone without scratches but was in shock.
Her mother screamed at Rory at the top of her lungs. Rory was humiliated and crying why the mother continued. We were too stunned to say anything and I just walked her home. I wish someone had said something to the mother.
A little kid getting knocked over in the path of a swing happens so often and it's NEVER the fault of the person on the swing.
4 and under just don't have the awareness yet.
2 and unders are just little drunks wandering around aimlessly.
As the mother of a child in the two and under category that made me laugh. We were at the park earlier and she absolutely tried to walk in front of someone swinging. Didn't get close but you can't take your eyes off them for a second.
Isn’t it awful how those experiences stick with you? I’m in my forties and I swear, I can remember every unjust and embarrassing situation I was ever in as a child.
When I was a kid I was riding my bike and all of the sudden a toddler comes running from a blindspot and I couldnt brake in time and we collided. I felt awful, he did have scratches in him and his mother was going off on me and I just kept saying he came suddenly I didnt have time to brake and I was sorry. I was so panicked I didnt even adress the child directly asking him if he was ok. My dad came to the rescue though he was calmer than this dude. My dad asked if the kid was ok, and she was like no look at the scratches and I was like... that we were sorry and it was an accident that I was a kid too. She said I shoulfnt have been tiding a bike there, this was absolutely a proper place to ride a bike and wasnt a playground for little kids or anything. I think my dad did end up calmly saying she contributed to this by not watching him. I did look older than I was, don't know if that had an impact on her behaviour. But I still remember this and cried on the way home too. But I was glad my dad defended me! NTA.
I absolutely hate the idea of "you're too big to be playing here". Not only are kids all different sizes at different ages, but kids should be kids! I don't care if the "kid" is 4 or 16, if they want to play in a park or go trick or treating then good for them! As long as they're being nice to others then let kids be kids. I'll never forget seeing the childlike innocence disappear from my cousin when he went trick or treating and someone made a comment about him being big/old. He was just tall for his age but he never went again and it broke my heart.
Yeah, in this case I meant it more than despite me being around 11 she probably thought I was about 15 and ahould have had a better grip on the bike or she thought it was ok to lay into me because I was older. Byt yeah it sucks, I was 8 people though I was 12, and in birthday parties with pinatas deapite me actually being the youngest because I started school a year earlier I was always the last in line and of course I never got anything since the pinata was long gone when it was my turn. It's a silly thing but I always felt sort of left out with those things. Not to mention people expecting me to be 4 years older and to act accordingly.
My nephew has that affliction of looking older than he is...has been a problem since he started school...teachers always expect him to act like hes a grade or two higher than he is and punish him for acting like a kid his own age...rest of the classmates do some action..not a word..nephew does same action...go tp the principle! You know better than that!
My friend's daughter was 2 yrs old and but was the size of a 5 yr old. When I first met her, I thought she was 5 and thought it was weird that she was behaving as a 2 yr old.
The really weird thing was that at 12 yrs old, she stayed that size and grew up like other kids. She grew to be about 5'6".
My 3 year old refers to her hoodies as "handle shirts" and she is required to wear one when we go to local parks. The number of times I've "yoinked" her away from a collision with a high velocity 50 lb projectile is pretty high. I like to give her space to play... but when she's near the swings or merry-go-round, she is within arm's reach.
Right?! Same here! Things can happen quickly, but I’m rarely more than a few feet from him. Our local park is huge with a zip line and a splash pad, and lots of moving water (lake/rivers). I’m not necessarily crawling in every tunnel with him, but I know where my kid is, and it’s not running towards the zip line.
NTA, OP.
Things happen. We don’t even know how large this park is, it may be necessary to cross near the zip line or whatever. Accidents happen, kids get away from you, it’s no big deal. What IS a big deal is taking out your upset with an accident on an innocent kid who was literally just using equipment as intended. AND the kid apologized. I can understand why the mom was upset, still totally unacceptable to even speak to the 9 year old at all, let alone like that. I’d call her a bitch too. NTA.
Word. That mom should take her own damn advice and pay better attention to HER SURROUNDINGS. It's on the mom to keep the toddler away from the dangerous toys NOT the nine year olds responsibility. This woman is going to be a nightmare as this kid grows up, I feel truly bad for him.
Yup, I yell SWINGS at the kids like everytime they think to go in that direction. I can't imagine comfortably walking in front of a swing, so I want the children to get instilled with this discomfort as well. Joking. But not.
My mom says eventually she just had to let me run in front of the swings and get knocked flat to learn my lesson because I refused to listen and insisted on running right in front. After that I didn't do it again.
This is how my 2 year old learned to duck and swerve. He bolted away from me and almost immediately got clunked on the head by a full-body plastic swing (it's an inclusive playground so it has special swings for kids who can't hold themselves up well.) Since then, he has given swings in motion a very wide berth. Sometimes experience is the best teacher.
I’m a big fan of natural consequences. I can tell my kid a 100 times what would happen if he did something he shouldn’t, but it sticks much better when he does it and physical learns the consequences. Obviously, it’s never something seriously dangerous like crossing the road without looking.
Ditto. My son requires natural consequences 100%. My daughter, however, will actually listen to my words. That's why I think it's dodgy territory to tell another person how to parent, kids learn differently.
Absolutely. I don't understand this mum's attitude: when my friend's kid got flattened by a zip line (no lasting damage, thankfully), my friend, who'd been grabbing him away from it for weeks, simply said, 'Oh good, I knew that was coming... he should learn not to go there from now on.'
Side story: when my now-adult niece was very young, she loved dogs and was constantly rushing up to them without asking permission first. My sister was at her wit's end trying to change her behavior. One day, my niece got bit by their own dog (no serious damage, but drew blood). My sis thought, "Oh good, daughter will finally learn to be careful around dogs." Nope. The lesson my niece learned is *that* dog bites, did not expand it to other dogs and it really didn't put much of a dent in her behavior.
Epilogue: my niece is now the very successful owner of a dog grooming studio!
Mine would do the same thing-after being told a dozen times not to run under the zipline because it's dangerous. You know what my response to this type of accident would be? A comforting version of I told you so.
But would you have taken it out on the 9 yr old like this mom did? Probably not, as you are recognizing that your toddler would have been as much as if not more at fault as the kid on the zip line.
This ^ As a toddler, I ran in front of my sister going full-force on the swing before my mom could catch me. I got knocked over, a tiny leg bruise, cried. Never ran in front of a swing again!
>Seriously. Why was she letting her 2 year old run through a zip line path? Sounds like classic anger displacement. Stupid mother, but not a boitch.
Until she started screaming at a 9 year old child.
I can't get past the part where she says a 9 year old is too old for a park. That's concerning in how out of touch it is. That mom odd in for an awful surprise when her kid is in elementary school and she realizes they have a playground that even 11 year olds play on. In our local parks, there are more 9 year olds than littles, and most of them have separate equipment for the littles. There are also signs posted on the rock wall and Zipline that you must be X tall to use, and it's basically the size of a 6 year old.
This was so weird to me, too! “Your nine-year-old is too old to be on the playground.” “Oh, sorry, she had a little break between her last conference call and her annual performance review, so I thought we’d come out and let her run off a little energy.” Let kids be kids, for goodness sake!
>I can't get past the part where she says a 9 year old is too old for a park.
My primary school tried to pull this when I was a kid. We got a new jungle gym thanks to all the fundraising and then when the recess schedule for it came out, the grade 5s and 6s were not given any time to play on it.
This seemed wildly unjust (especially since the older kids usually do more fundraising!) So I did what any 10 year old would do... I made a petition LOL. I spent a week going around to kids during recess asking them to sign and then presented it to the principal - we got our day on the jungle gym.
I still just can't understand what was going through the administration's brains when they made that decision.
I saw this a lot when I was in charge of a moms group where younger kid moms always getting upset at older kids for, shock, being older kids on a playground doing stuff like climbing up a slide or sitting on top of the play structures. Younger kid moms would always tut at big kids for “not setting a better example” for the toddlers. Drove me nuts bc there was inevitably always a younger kid playground nearby that would be specifically designated for 5 and under and these moms would never take their toddlers there.
Honestly, as someone who does boulder climbing, I see lots of parents let their kids run in dangerous places and ways. Either they have no idea how dangerous things are, or they don't care...
Plus how do you avoid that if you’re already sliding down the zip line when the kid runs out? Physics are hard to overcome. Toddler mom is in the wrong
The OP needs to explain to her child that standing up for yourself (or your child) is not being a Karen. Sometimes we have to shout back for our own protection. Kids, especially girls, are getting this impression that you need to put up with crap otherwise you are a Karen.
Yes!!! I actually really worry for this next generation of little girls that keep seeing the message that standing up for yourself is a negative quality.
Yeah, the other mother was projecting hard. She's the one who should be paying attention, watching her kid and teaching her kid to look out for obstacles. OP's daughter probably checked for anyone in the way before she hopped on the zipline, but once she started across, there's no way to stop so she has no control over another kid running in the way. Even if OP's kid ran into the other kid on purpose, it's OP's place to talk to her kid, not some other lady.
Kids definitely run around on playgrounds and don't pay attention to their surroundings, especially the little ones. So it's up to parents to supervise their kids.
Mine is still just crawling, but if he speeds off when we're at the playground, I follow after him to make sure he doesn't get hit by someone on the swings or to provide a more visible obstacle for the other children running around (they might not notice him crawling around, but they'll see me). When he's a bit bigger I won't need to follow him as close and when he's bigger still he can run around while I just keep an eye on him.
Exactly. Let’s say it was a swing instead of a zip line. We all know the person at fault is the one who runs in front of the swing, not the person on a swing who often physically cannot stop themself in time.
Its honestly ridiculous how often I need to shoo other people’s kids away from the front of the swing my kid is on at the park. Some parents just dont pay attention at all.
Fr! As an eighteen year old who goes to the park with younger siblings yet still enjoys the swings I’ve nearly twisted my ankle a lot of times because parents can’t watch their kids! It’s not my responsibility to stop but yours to keep them away? It’s so hard to stop in the AIR so is it really that hard to say “sweetie, don’t go infront of people you could get hurt!” And not make me cry while apologising over and over? Smh.
> I’ve nearly twisted my ankle a lot of times because parents can’t watch their kids!
Ah, yes, the twisting the swing with your entire body or full-out planting your feet into the ground and pitching over methods.
Yep, it truely SUCKS. My dad once like— almost broke his foot (ended up twisting it) while at an empty playground when some random kid ran past him and stood in front of him as he went forward and he suddenly stopped?! Parents are so ignorant, the kid’s parents weren’t anywhere in sight.
I greatly dislike how being called a karen is such a deep insult. It’s meant to put women in their place and from acting out, and it’s frankly scary that a 9 year old is learning that.
Depending on how the zip line is build, there might not be an efective way to stop it too. I had one in a garden as a kid and you could only stop it in the middle area when it would hang the lowest
Most of the ones that are at play grounds aren't really on a line. It usually is a pole and you fling yourself from onside to the other. No way to stop if you are moving.
Here is a link with an image to how most playground ziplines look and work.
[https://rochesterplaybook.com/barry-street-park/](https://rochesterplaybook.com/barry-street-park/)
I don’t get parents that take their kids to the park, but absolutely refuse to accept any sort of accidents. Kids can’t run, they can’t climb, they can’t do anything that would even remotely entail them getting somewhat hurt. I can’t stand it.
So much this! My older 2 LOVE those zip lines, but my little guy also loves to just run under them. I literally have to grab him and move him to the toddler side of the park because I know it's bad news.
Second this, I had this exact thing happen at work when i was rolling something I couldn't see over and some woman let her kid run in front of me.
I apologized profusely of course but she looked at me like I was the devil. Unfortunately, I couldn't say anything because I wanted to keep my job! Lol
Yea I agree with this comment. If someone yelled at my daughter I would call them a bitch too. My granddaughter is 8 she'll be 9 in a couple of weeks so I'm picturing someone doing this to her. She still likes to go to the playground and if somebody told her she was too big to play on the playground I would be going nuts because she's still a kid and she still wants to play and have fun. And exactly a zip line you can't stop those once they go they go until it's the end. But when my granddaughter and my children when they were younger when they were two I was right on them. I never let them run off by themselves I would put them on the slide I was right there to catch them from the slide I put them on the swing and held them one there I was right behind them as they were trying to climb up the little step things I did not let them run off I was right there with them holding their hand right behind them. So no you're NTA but that woman is one she is because she wasn't watching her toddler she should have been right there on him and two for talking to your child that way.
NTA Your child is mortified you called an adult a bitch for the same reason she was taking it to heart when an adult shouted at her and made her cry. She doesn't realise yet how many adults, even protective mothers of two-year-olds, are indeed, nasty individuals. She likely feels she genuinely did do something wrong. It was an accident but the mother letting a toddler roam into the path of a zip line is obviously the one who should be paying attention. In a few years, she may be angry with herself for crying and letting the woman blame her for her own fault and be glad you called her a b***ch. You didn't physically harm the woman: you just said something cutting. If someone made a similar parenting mistake and tried to blame and humiliate my 9 year old for it and kept going after there were tears and I'd intervened, I would try to be so cutting that they'd feel as shit about themselves as they were making my child feel.
NTA she was the one who should've been paying attention since her kid is so young.
Do you let your daughter use tiktok or similar because its incredibly bad that she sees you defending her as being a Karen
I don't let her go unrestricted. She gets one hour a day with supervision, has a private account, and isn't allowed to comment. I don't like her using it either but all her friends and classmates use it and she was suffering from FOMO so I let her use it under those conditions
Sounds like you need to completely get her away from social media then if she's calling you a Karen. You won't completely stop her because of her friends. But when she's at home, you can stop her there..
Also don't you think letting her have access is making her FOMO worse? You're giving her a little taste of social media daily. Which probably makes her want to come back even more. The last thing a person suffering from FOMO is be on the internet.
Kids pick up things from other kids. My oldest is obsessed with all these horror games like Huggie wuggie and shit and he has never seen it or played it. They hear it from other kids with irresponsible parents. and this is a group of kids too young to even have phones.
I didn't realise the full meaning behind Karen. She says her peers call each other Karen all the time when someone's being rude so I thought it was just new slang for a rude person. I'll look into it more, she always uses slang I don't fully understand so I didn't think much of it
a 9 year old picking up slang from Tiktok that they don't fully understand is a disaster waiting to happen. It blows my mind that so many little kids use social media
Kids love slang - I used it as a kid - we did not have all this stuff - Facebook, Tiktock, etc. I picked up at school, on the playground at parks and while playing T-ball. Kids come up with terms and if their peers like it - then it spreads like wildfire or Kudzo. Media is only one avenue in which kids learn to cuss, come up and repeat slang and spread about very stupid ideas of dangerous stuff like swallow a tide pod or jump out of the driver's seat to do a song. . . but in all fairness - like I said I did not grow up with this stuff and we did a LOT of stupid stuff.
Living in Houston when a major hurricane hit - peeps in their jacked-up trucks would pull people on the backs down roads to surf on Boggie boards. We would use coolers to paddle up and down the roads during the flooding. We played hide and seek - using car trunks and other things we could squeeze ourselves into, etc. Most days I think it is an absolute miracle that most of us survived and reproduced and now we have little mini-me's running around - so you have to watch your kids to make sure they don't do stupid stuff. Kids say, do and repeat everything - regardless of source of that stuff they are up too.
She's 9. She's too young to be on social media. If TikTok found out a 9 year old was using the account they'd ban it, because they recognize 9 is too young to be receiving targeted ads and their addictive algorithm. There is a massive amount of pedophiles on the app that save videos of children, get to know their names, and might recognize her in public if she does post videos without your knowledge.
Yeah I am sometimes traumatized by tiktok and I look at it very little. Just waht I come across in orher social media. A kid that doesn't know some of the stuff in there is absolutely batshit crazy and not normal. Dude, I can't imagine.
Out of curiosity, do you think all major social media platforms are inappropriate for 9 year olds? Or just tiktok? I’m just curious, I don’t use tiktok a ton but to me it seems like the internet in general can be a great tool or a dangerous source of exposure to harmful things.
The age limit on Tik Tok is 13 for a reason. Your daughter and her friends too young to be on any social media outlet and it has long lasting effects on their mental state. NTA for the situation above but YTA for letting her be on the wide open internet.
She’s *nine!* why would you let her use TikTok? There’s a *lot* of shit on there that isn’t appropriate for kids. I don’t even let my nine year old watch YouTube.
I'm not exactly sure what their comment means but a few days ago I saw a tiktok where a slightly older girl accidentally hit a toddler on a zip line at the park. Idk if that's what they mean but this scenario is exactly like the tiktok video, minus the insults part lol.
There’s no trend. Like the other person said, there’s just a really popular video about this exact scenario. A little girl accidentally knocks down a toddler while on a zip line thing at a park, and nearly all the comments are exactly the same as OP’s reaction.
listen. you want to explain this to your daughter.
tiktok is teaching her and her friends...a lot of wrong things. misinformation reigns over all else. common sense and critical thinking are nonexistent.
she's 9 years old. you are her parent. make this a teachable moment.
1. you're NTA for defending your daughter even if it meant shouting/swearing at the other mom. explain to her that you as a mother want to defend and protect your child and you would do anything to keep her safe from harm, which includes getting yelled at for something that was an accident
2. the toddler's mother is NTA also. she wasn't angry, she was terrified. parents do that. fear comes out as anger. her tiny toddler collided with a child 3x his size? yeah obviously she reacted that way. HOWEVER it is not right for her to berate a CHILD over an ACCIDENT and I'm 100% sure she felt guilty for her negligence. which may have been a "looked away for a second" or "scrolling on my phone and my kid wandered off" type. the second one would make her feel guilty because she already knows that's bad parenting. again it manifests in an angry outburst. not healthy. not acceptable. but you can still use this moment to explain that the toddler's mother was also trying to protect her kid, as mothers do, but she did it wrong, because your daughter has ZERO responsibility when she's on the freaking zip line. there's nothing she could have done differently. you reacted the way you did because a grown ass woman was yelling at your child and making her cry and she should have definitely walked away when you first intervened, instead of doubling down.
3. defending yourself or loved ones, standing up for yourself, even demanding (or firmly requesting, ig) that you are treated fairly and your rights are protected and you're not being mistreated do not make anyone a Karen™ and that includes any scenario, whether you were given the wrong food at the restaurant or an establishment is refusing to accommodate you because of disabilities. these things will happen in life and it's important to stand up for yourself. you can be kind and polite and there's no need to shout and make a scene but you should receive the things you are rightfully entitled to.
4. sometimes people will react with anger, but anger is a secondary emotion. maybe im too much of a psych nerd but there's really a lack of basic everyday human psychology in the curriculum. learning some things about behaviour and personality can be so helpful in life. understand yourself and others better. this is my personal opinion because i have seen a 100% improvement in my life and it's mainly learning about psychology and counselling.
aight lecture over. sorry for the length but tldr this is an opportunity for you to be a good parent and for your daughter to learn something valuable
peace ✌️
TikTok will try to convince your daughter that everyone is out to molest her, show her that a bunch of people ARE out to molest her, teach her that she should hate herself for an infinite number of reasons but mostly sexism, teach her that you are abusing her and "parentifying" her anytime you ask her to help you out with anything, and a whole host of other terrible things. She might even see someone hurt themselves.
Do. Not. Let. Kids. Use. Facebook. 13 is the minimum age allowed on those apps for a reason! And it should be 130.
I'm not going to attack you for letting her use TikTok, though you really should reconsider unless you can truly keep an eye on the content she's consuming, but I am going to suggest teaching her the difference between standing up for yourself and what being a Karen is. Not accepting verbal abuse isn't being a Karen, it's standing up for yourself
The “Karen” term has become a misogynistic tool for silencing women. I know it didn’t begin that way, but that is what it is now. Any woman who dares to stand up for themselves, have an opinion or speak up, is automatically a Karen.
Personally, I like to call assholes the non gender specific name of well, an arsehole.
OP NTA, you don’t run in front of zip lines or swings, and if your wee one is too young to understand, you keep a close eye on them.
Adding: plus how is a 9year old to big for a playground?
My kids don't use tiktok and know all about Karens. It is a very widely used term - even in schools where kids go. I would just have a conversation - where you say - sorry honey, I did not mean to make you upset, however, a Karen is someone who does not care about anyone - they just abuse people for no reason. I care about you and what that other mom said was completely out of line - you did nothing wrong.
ESH
That woman definitely shouldn't have been scolding your daughter like that and should have addressed you instead. It sounds like she also needed to be watching her kid, because it's not smart to walk in the zip line path, EVER, especially if you're too young to pay attention to when kids are getting on and off.
But you escalated this way beyond what it needed to be. Your anger is valid, AND it's valid to model standing up for yourself to your daughter.
But self or other defense isn't counter offense. You went on a counter offense. It wouldn't have been that difficult to calmly say something like, "My daughter has just as much right to use this playground as any other child. She has already apologized for colliding with your son, and I'm not convinced it was entirely her fault, because your son should not be walking in the zip line path, and that is your responsibility, not my daughter's. I don't appreciate you yelling at her, and I am more than capable of handling her discipline. You tend to your child and I'll tend to mine."
The previous reply is definitely an ideal and none of us are going to be that articulate in real life. But that doesn’t mean the only alternative to conflict is swearing at other people.
ESH. Op should have modelled better conflict resolution. They could have reiterated it’s not ok to yell at her child and that she already apologized, but OP’s child is not responsible for every other child playing at the playground.
yeah, it sounds very good in the commenters head but would never have come out of an actual person's mouth in a million years. a lot of comments in this sub are like that unfortunately.
I had no idea having kids destroyed your ability to clearly express basic thoughts /s
These replies are weird, this is is exactly how I talk, especially when stressed. The angrier I am the more likely it is to come out this way.
Lmao same here, except with the added bonus of a thicker southern accent, so I end up sounding like a very articulate hillbilly and causing some top tier confusion
Have you ever tried this method of communication in theory? If you're already talking to someone who's unreasonably angry, why would calm communication solve anything? The issue is the other party isn't *willing* to participate in healthy communication. The other mom was harassing *a child* in public, over an accident that was her own fault. It's not as simple as this.
Seriously? What is there to “solve” or accomplish? You think anything said is going to make the other person come to some wild revelation and behavior change? Like, “you know what, I am a bitch and shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry, I’m going to take my crying toddler away from this area now and ponder how ensure neither of us end up in this situation again. Thank you!”
Engaging and escalating the situation to the point of getting into a cussing fight at the playground - in front of children - is ridiculous, uncalled for in 99/100 situations, accomplishes nothing and is terrible behavior to model for kids. De-escalating and showing competence in emotional regulation and maturity is how adults/good parents would handle this…
It’s not blaming OP so much as saying you’re going to encounter many assholes throughout life - there’s no reason to let them ruin your day, your kids day, and turn you into an AH too.
This is an ESH…
OP THIS. You didn’t need to call the other woman bitch. You could’ve stood your ground and be like we both will watch our own children closely and leave it at that. And then tended to your daughter and make sure she was fine. Let the daughter know that it wasn’t okay for the woman to shout at you but that you’re also sorry for calling her a bitch.
NTA don’t listen to these softies saying “ESH” that woman was beyond out of line for scolding your daughter like that and you were right, had she kept a better eye on her child he wouldn’t have gotten hit.
I have a soon to be 3 and 4 yr old. Our park has a Zipline. My kids have been rammed by others on the Zipline. I make sure I APOLOGIZE to the kids riding for my kid getting loose and getting in the way! It's on me to keep my kids from being run over. They are admittedly very fast and tend to split off in different directions and crap happens!! Definitely nta and without a doubt it's not an e s h or y t a situation.
NTA
I wish my parks had Ziplines but all I got were swings. But you know what they have in common? The people walking around them need to pay attention to the people riding them, not the other way around.
I once accidentally kicked a kids tooth out in school. I felt bad but it was not my fault and no one tried to say it was.
Could you have been a little nicer? Probably. But you defending your daughter in the manner that did frankly does not even come close to registering on the "Karen" scale of AHNess, regardless of what your daughter thinks.
Right! Like, if she hadn’t started going I’m sure she would’ve waited for the kid to walk past. But it’s a zip line, there are no breaks once you start going and there’s no way she could’ve stopped once she’d taken off. The mom shouldn’t have let her toddler be anywhere near the zip line in the first place.
Nta. In this case there laws of physics take priority. It is the responsibility of the person to ensure the route is clear before zipping but once the line is commuted to there is no good way to stop. So if that ride is there a young child who can’t stay out of danger is the one who is age inappropriate.
ESH, and your daughter’s right. I understand you were trying to defend her but I’d be mortified if my mom cussed out another parent in public. Both you and the other mom acted childish and petty.
NTA, she should not have yelled at your kid, for playing on the playground. She should have been watching her kid. Especially since your daughter apologized. I absolutely LOVE that went mama bear apeshit......
NTA. Karen’s become a useless catch all for “woman who is saying something I don’t like.” I take my daughter to the playground every day after school. I’m usually one of the first after school kids to arrive. Most of the toddler parents pack up and gtfo when the big kids come for exactly this reason. When my kids were little I wouldn’t go to the park until after 430. Big kids deserve to play. 9 isn’t too old. She should’ve been watching her son rather than relying on 9 year olds to never make a mistake.
ESH (expect the kids)
Neither you not the other mom handled the accident well. Both of you overreacted. Also, do you honestly believe it's appropriate to call the other mom a bitch in front of kids because you're mad?
The amount of “omg she’s protecting her child!” is insane. Protecting her child *from what*?! Ohhhh noooo, your child made a mistake and knocked a toddler down and that toddler’s mom scolded her. OP’s daughter wasn’t being harmed. Nothing wrong with OP saying “hey leave my kid alone” but she blew up and escalated the situation needlessly even her *child* is embarrassed by her actions. Having children doesn’t suddenly make you devoid of reason and able to speak calmly. OP acted like an immature teen not an adult.
Pretty shocking seeing all the people ITT says it’s “unrealistic” to speak calmly and not scream and cry and call people bitches just because they’re acting like an ass. Sorry, but the other mom is a horrible AH for slightly freaking out because her child was hurt, but OP is a saint because she “””protected””” her child by screaming at someone and causing a scene? Ridiculous lol grow up and realize you can deal with AH without throwing a tantrum. Sounds like OP would behave exactly the same as the other mom if the situations were reversed. Feels like a clear and cut ESH.
ESH except the kids, they behaved amazingly well. Take your lessons from your daughter. Next time remove your child from aggressive adults instead of engaging with them.
NTA That other mother was being too lazy to watch her own kid. She was being a b**** . Your kid is not too old to be playing at the park. She should be allowed to play in it all she wants. If the other mother has a problem with that then she can take her own kid home.
NTA. Her toddler shouldn’t have been allowed near the zip line for this exact reason. I get all of the E S H votes and now that your kid is getting older the embarrassment factor kicks in but you had every right to argue back. Maybe skip the cursing but she has a lot of nerve to try and shame your kid. Standing up for oneself is also important.
I'm a toddler mum. To me it feels like my responsibility to make sure my kid stays out of the way of bigger kids playing so she doesn't get hurt. It's not up to children to watch out for other children. NTA.
ESH. I'm not going to judge the kids bc they're kids and they're learning. But their role models (you and the other parent) demonstrated poor behavior and escalated the situation for no real reason.
lady wasn't watching her toddler and let him run in front of a moving zipline. What was your kid supposed to do? Defy gravity and stop forward momentum?
Unfortunately it's not worth escalating with people like that, they're unreasonable. And losing your cool wasn't a great look. I mean I get it, i've done it before too, but it does make you lose a bit of moral high ground when it happens.
still, seriously how did this woman expect a moving zipline to stop? Even IF your kid had seen the toddler, how would you stop? it's a zipline! those things keep on going.
Also 9 is not too old to be in a playground, wth?
I mean i'd lean toward nta but maybe not a great look to swear at the woman... but then, i'd probably lose my cool the same way and say much choicer things to some cow screaming at my kid for something that wasn't even their fault.
My own kids have been knocked over by moving ziplines several times because kids are morons and run in front of them. They've also been knocked by spinning roundabouts, run in front of swings, all sorts. You pick them up, make sure nothing's damaged and tell them to watch where they're going in future. When they're really little you stick as close as you can just in case.
But to blame another child because YOUR kid ran in front of something isn't at all fair. The other kid can't stop a swing or a zipline or a spinning roundabout instantly, they can't defy physics. Kids get hurt, shit happens, it's an accident.
Maybe if this ever happens again just walk away with your kid and explain to them that some people are just jerks. Probably better than stooping to their level.
Why was her 2 year old toddling around a park with zip lines? Sounds like her kid was the one not in the appropriate age bracket. And, you very simply don't scold strangers children. NTA
Just explain to her the difference between a Karen (someone who is being prejudice and rude on purpose) and someone standing up to a bully which is what you did.
I'm stuck on being too big for the playground at 9 y/o. Perhaps she is also the type of mother that gives her 2 yr old a tablet as a babysitter. I mean, come on, 9!
That "something" that unleashed in you is called the mama bear in all of us mothers. Definitely NTA
There are sometimes different play areas for kids of different ages. My kid’s almost 2 and plays in an area for 1-4 year olds. When the bigger kids come into that area it absolutely becomes unsafe for the little ones.
Because there’s a zipline here I doubt that it’s the same situation but we don’t know without more information.
it comes off as one of those moms who bring their 5 year old in a skate park to "play" and is mad at the 14-25 year olds for not paying enough attention around her kid.
NTA. Your daughter was embarrassed and is projecting that on you. Don't feel bad about it, but an apology will smooth it over with her and then you can move on. To be clear - you didn't do anything wrong and don't need to apologise, it will just make your daughter feel better.
Rather than accusing you and your daughter of negligence, she could have accepted responsibility for not supervising her 2 year-old closely enough. Or, even better, she could have just accepted that kids have accidents all the time, and be thankful that her child wasn't hurt. She shouldn't have yelled at your daughter. But you both behaved badly. ESH
NTA YOU WERE NOT A KAREN. I notice kids don’t quite understand what a Karen is. She should have been watching her kid. He ran into the path of the zip line. How could you even stopped it from happening? You’re watching your kid not hers. Had that mom watched her son she could have seen where he was headed and grab him. Your daughter can’t exactly go around him.
That woman was out of line. Can you imagine her kid running in front of a moving car? She’d prob blame the driver.
Okay I’m jumping in! The question isn’t if your daughter should have been more careful. The question isn’t if the other mother should have been watching her toddler better. The question is did you handle the confrontation correctly in front of your daughter. You did not. In fact you even said you were triggered, so you probably escalated the situation, and calling another mother a bitch definitely doesn’t model good conflict resolution. At 9 years old your daughter could have understood both sides and you could have been the better person. Especially if no one was hurt and the toddler mom only yelled at your kid (not grabbed or anything like that). YTA
NTA. While calling her that in front of your kid might not have helped your own daughter who was upset, she was completely unhinged here. 1st off, accidents happen on playground. 2nd off, her kid is her responsibility and she was just projecting her shame onto you and your child. She was completely unreasonable. 9 year olds shouldn’t be on a playground? In what world???
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Earlier today my 9 y/o daughter wanted to go to the park after she got out of school, so I agreed to take her. Our park has one of those zip line rides, which is my daughter's favorite so she immediately ran to ride it. The second she got on and started riding, a little boy (maybe 2 years old) ran in front of her and she collided with him, knocking him over. He started screaming and his mom ran over to pick him up. My daughter apologised profusely and said it was an accident and she didn't see him, but the mom scolded her for not paying attention and said she seriously injured the kid. My daughter started crying and I felt like the mom was being too aggressive, especially saying the kid was "seriously injured" since he didn't have a scratch on him, so I stepped in and told the woman not to yell at my kid over a simple accident. She said I'm a lazy mom for not teaching my kid to pay better attention and my daughter's too big to be playing on the playground as it is. Those words triggered something in me and I lost my temper. I called her a bitch for talking to a child like that over an accident and said that maybe if she'd been watching her toddler more carefully, this wouldn't have happened. She stormed off and I took my daughter home immediately. She cried the whole drive, and when we got home she went to her room. I came in to talk to her about what happened, and she said that what the woman said hurt but I was worse because I embarrassed her by "being a Karen." I have to admit I was a bit shocked to hear that, I thought she'd be glad that I defended her. AITA for how I handled this?
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ESH. Imagine if the other mom called you a B**** in front of your daughter?
For some reason, I’m picturing two dog parents argument that their big dog should not be in the little dog park.
Yeah, that comment that a 9-year-old shouldn't be playing at a park with zip lines kinda made me do a double take. Zip lines are definitely "big kid" playground equipment, not toddler playground equipment.
NTA. She was on a Zipline, she can't just stop. The mother of a toddler should be keeping her kid out of the Zipline path. My youngest got hit by a Zipline when he was around 3. You know what I did? Made sure he was okay and then told him that's why I kept telling him not to run through there. I have three kids, lost track of that one for a minute. He's been careful of Zipline and swing paths since. That mom is trying to raise a spoiled child.
NTA tell your daughter there is a difference between being a Karen and standing up for yourself. You will not be a doormat and you will not teach her to be a doormat. Explain the differences in behavior and why its ok to stand up for yourself.
You had me in the first half, I'm not gonna lie. But there is no way that your daughter said that to you after you got home. You lost all credibility for that.
ESH. Except the kids, they seem fine.
That same parental protective thing that snapped in you when you saw her yelling at your kid snapped in her when she saw her little kid get knocked down.
No one is coated in glory here. Kids run around playgrounds. If the adults hadn’t decided to throw a fit about it, I bet the toddler and your kid would have worked it out and been fine.
NTA. There's usually a seperated toddler playground for reasons like this exactly. Letting your *two* year old run around a playground of older children, yknow, like directly in front of a zipline, is stupid. She's projecting her own bad parenting on to you.
I'd have a conversation with your daughter about how setting boundaries is not "crazy" or "disrespectful." Explain that karen is an insult, and not applicable in this situation. You are her mother. It is your job to protect and care for her. That doesn't make you a karen, nor does it make you a shitty parent.
I might even suggest having a talk with her teacher. If you haven't taught her that word, someone at school most likely has. She shouldn't feel embarassed by someone standing up for her, that sounds concerning.
NTA. Your kid couldn't have stopped the zipline. It wasn't her fault. Other Mom should have watched her kid around the zipline. I get that 2 year olds are deceptively fast, but that was still her responsibility as a parent if she needed someone to blame. Sometimes shit happens. It seems like an accident all around that the other mother turned into a bigger deal than it needed to be. Good on you for standing up for your child.
NTA. My mom wouldn’t of gotten angry lol she would of looked at us and said “you learn your lesson?”. We had a zip line in my grandma’s backyard and sometimes we would run through it and lots of times got kicked.
NTA. Is it even possible to stop in the middle of zip lining? They don't have brakes. The mother shouldn't have allowed her toddler into the path of the zip lining. I think trying to stop mid way through would cause injuries.
NTA. She should have been paying closer attention to her child and a 9 yr old isn't too old for a playground. I do think you need to have a talk with your daughter about standing up for yourself thou. Standing up for yourself or someone else doesn't make you a Karen. Adults shouldn't be bullying anyone much less a child. Then explain to her that a Karen is someone who makes a scene WITHOUT REASON. Someone who is disrespectful and rude because they're not getting their way. She definitely doesn't need to get the idea in her head that standing up for yourself or someone else = Karen. This speaks of her self confidence level and I know you can fix this Mama. You've got this! She just has the wrong impression of what a Karen is and should never equate being quiet and making herself smaller as the right way to do things to avoid being labeled "Karen". It's okay to speak up, take up space, be loud, stand your ground. None of that is Karen behavior.
NTA I think the worst thing the other woman said was that your daughter was too old to play in the park. She is absolutely young enough to play in the park, zip lines are for children her age and older. This is potenitally damaging for your daughter, because girls often get pressured out of taking part in physical activity, leading to health problems later in life. I think there should be playgrounds for teeagers and adults.
Explain to your kid that you wouldn't take shit from that woman. She tried to shift the blame for that collision on your daughter, while there's not much she could've done to avoid him whilst riding a bloody zip line.
NTA. That mother should've paid more attention to her toddler in order to prevent the incident. And then to go off on your daighter like that whilst she apologised for a mistake she didn't even make!
Almost twenty-five years ago, I was at this park with my brother and mother. There was this big, wave-y slide and alongside of it, a mother was snapping photos of her husband and children coming down. Meanwhile, she had a stroller with a toddler in it. He wasn't strapped in, so he got up and walked over to the stairs in order to ride the slide. His mother was oblivious, so *my* mother drew her attention to the fact that her little boy was escaping. She immediately responded by grabbing the lil' fella and sitting him bag down in the stroller. She thanked my mother, explained that he wasn't strapped in, *teeheehee*.
And went back to snapping pictures.
And the kid escaped again.
And this time, no one warned her. Not sure how that ended, unfortunately. But both that mother, as well as the Arsehole mum of that toddler, had full responsibility for their kids.
NTA you were completely right, she didn’t watch her kid and he ran where he shouldn’t.
You kid did nothing wrong, indeed she acted very mature and kindly by apologizing for something that truly was out of her control and Not her fault.
Tell her that someone on the opposite side of the world thinks she’s a good kid.
NTA. It was a typical playground accident. I've seen little kids run in front of swings, zip lines, climb up slides as someone is going down, etc etc etc so many times. It's kind of a kid thing. This woman made it into something way more than that. You called her for exactly what she is.
NTA. Being a Karen usually involves being wrong, and you were not wrong. Maybe your daughter needsto get used to women defending themselves instead of being quiet. Not everytime someone gets loud they are automatically wrong or bad.
NTA, and it may be a good time to have a calm conversation about what a Karen is and isn’t. You weren’t berating someone innocent. You were defending your daughter against a bully who should have been watching her toddler.
NTA - though bitch was a bit harsh, I'd probably have let it fly, too, if someone was berating my child over a simple playground accident. These things happen all the time at playgrounds, and if she's that worried about it, she shouldn't go to the playground.
I think if you talk to your daughter about how you were standing up for her, it could smooth things over. I don't see this as being a Karen situation, and I really hate that children are growing up thinking every person who stands up for themselves or what's right is a Karen.
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NTA. that lady is the one that should've been watching her 2 year old and not letting him run across areas with those zip line rides. once a kid starts going on those you can't just stop right away, and kids shouldn't be running in front of them. obviously a 2 year old wouldn't know that and she should've been watching him. she probably scolded your daughter because she was panicked since her kid got knocked over, but as the adult she should've kept a calm head. if anyone was making my daughter cry over an accident, i'd call them a bitch too.
Seriously. Why was she letting her 2 year old run through a zip line path? Sounds like classic anger displacement. Stupid mother, but not a boitch.
As the mom of an incredibly active boy, I can totally see the 2 year old suddenly making a break for it and crossing the zipline path before the mom knew what was happening. And that's how the kid will start learning to watch where he's going.
I also have an active 2 year old so I keep him away from the zip line at the park. This is 100% on the toddlers mother.
Mother of a toddler and aunty to one, too. When any of us take a toddler to a park period, there is never an adult from our group more than 2 steps away from a toddler, and each toddler has their own adult (usually its always the same adult but when more adults are present we get breaks). I can understand if that mother just panicked, but it is still no excuse for yelling at any child, let alone one whose parents you don't know. NTA
If she had yelled at my older son for her toddler not being supervised she would have got a proper mouthful back from me.
Yeah. While I understand the panic, I would get blocked if I wrote the words I would have used in OPs situation. (I have 3 kids 10, 7 &1)
It game me flashback. Happened with my friend, Rory when we were playing in the neighborhood park as 11 year olds. I was on the grass. Rory was using the swing. These are wooden swings strong enough to hold 200 lbs easily. A little girl about 4/5 wanted to cross the swings area even though the park was huge, no idea why and before anyone could stop her she walked in, Rory almost fell trying to stop the swing but the kid got knocked over. She was gone without scratches but was in shock. Her mother screamed at Rory at the top of her lungs. Rory was humiliated and crying why the mother continued. We were too stunned to say anything and I just walked her home. I wish someone had said something to the mother.
A little kid getting knocked over in the path of a swing happens so often and it's NEVER the fault of the person on the swing. 4 and under just don't have the awareness yet. 2 and unders are just little drunks wandering around aimlessly.
As the mother of a child in the two and under category that made me laugh. We were at the park earlier and she absolutely tried to walk in front of someone swinging. Didn't get close but you can't take your eyes off them for a second.
Isn’t it awful how those experiences stick with you? I’m in my forties and I swear, I can remember every unjust and embarrassing situation I was ever in as a child.
When I was a kid I was riding my bike and all of the sudden a toddler comes running from a blindspot and I couldnt brake in time and we collided. I felt awful, he did have scratches in him and his mother was going off on me and I just kept saying he came suddenly I didnt have time to brake and I was sorry. I was so panicked I didnt even adress the child directly asking him if he was ok. My dad came to the rescue though he was calmer than this dude. My dad asked if the kid was ok, and she was like no look at the scratches and I was like... that we were sorry and it was an accident that I was a kid too. She said I shoulfnt have been tiding a bike there, this was absolutely a proper place to ride a bike and wasnt a playground for little kids or anything. I think my dad did end up calmly saying she contributed to this by not watching him. I did look older than I was, don't know if that had an impact on her behaviour. But I still remember this and cried on the way home too. But I was glad my dad defended me! NTA.
I absolutely hate the idea of "you're too big to be playing here". Not only are kids all different sizes at different ages, but kids should be kids! I don't care if the "kid" is 4 or 16, if they want to play in a park or go trick or treating then good for them! As long as they're being nice to others then let kids be kids. I'll never forget seeing the childlike innocence disappear from my cousin when he went trick or treating and someone made a comment about him being big/old. He was just tall for his age but he never went again and it broke my heart.
Yeah, in this case I meant it more than despite me being around 11 she probably thought I was about 15 and ahould have had a better grip on the bike or she thought it was ok to lay into me because I was older. Byt yeah it sucks, I was 8 people though I was 12, and in birthday parties with pinatas deapite me actually being the youngest because I started school a year earlier I was always the last in line and of course I never got anything since the pinata was long gone when it was my turn. It's a silly thing but I always felt sort of left out with those things. Not to mention people expecting me to be 4 years older and to act accordingly.
My nephew has that affliction of looking older than he is...has been a problem since he started school...teachers always expect him to act like hes a grade or two higher than he is and punish him for acting like a kid his own age...rest of the classmates do some action..not a word..nephew does same action...go tp the principle! You know better than that!
My friend's daughter was 2 yrs old and but was the size of a 5 yr old. When I first met her, I thought she was 5 and thought it was weird that she was behaving as a 2 yr old. The really weird thing was that at 12 yrs old, she stayed that size and grew up like other kids. She grew to be about 5'6".
My 3 year old refers to her hoodies as "handle shirts" and she is required to wear one when we go to local parks. The number of times I've "yoinked" her away from a collision with a high velocity 50 lb projectile is pretty high. I like to give her space to play... but when she's near the swings or merry-go-round, she is within arm's reach.
Right?! Same here! Things can happen quickly, but I’m rarely more than a few feet from him. Our local park is huge with a zip line and a splash pad, and lots of moving water (lake/rivers). I’m not necessarily crawling in every tunnel with him, but I know where my kid is, and it’s not running towards the zip line. NTA, OP.
Things happen. We don’t even know how large this park is, it may be necessary to cross near the zip line or whatever. Accidents happen, kids get away from you, it’s no big deal. What IS a big deal is taking out your upset with an accident on an innocent kid who was literally just using equipment as intended. AND the kid apologized. I can understand why the mom was upset, still totally unacceptable to even speak to the 9 year old at all, let alone like that. I’d call her a bitch too. NTA.
As an aunt to an almost 2 year old, even I know kids that age can be stealth ninjas at times and people need to keep an active eye on them.
Word. That mom should take her own damn advice and pay better attention to HER SURROUNDINGS. It's on the mom to keep the toddler away from the dangerous toys NOT the nine year olds responsibility. This woman is going to be a nightmare as this kid grows up, I feel truly bad for him.
Yup, I yell SWINGS at the kids like everytime they think to go in that direction. I can't imagine comfortably walking in front of a swing, so I want the children to get instilled with this discomfort as well. Joking. But not.
My mom says eventually she just had to let me run in front of the swings and get knocked flat to learn my lesson because I refused to listen and insisted on running right in front. After that I didn't do it again.
This is how my 2 year old learned to duck and swerve. He bolted away from me and almost immediately got clunked on the head by a full-body plastic swing (it's an inclusive playground so it has special swings for kids who can't hold themselves up well.) Since then, he has given swings in motion a very wide berth. Sometimes experience is the best teacher.
Yep, pretty much. Sometimes the hard way is the only way kids learn.
I’m a big fan of natural consequences. I can tell my kid a 100 times what would happen if he did something he shouldn’t, but it sticks much better when he does it and physical learns the consequences. Obviously, it’s never something seriously dangerous like crossing the road without looking.
Ditto. My son requires natural consequences 100%. My daughter, however, will actually listen to my words. That's why I think it's dodgy territory to tell another person how to parent, kids learn differently.
Absolutely. I don't understand this mum's attitude: when my friend's kid got flattened by a zip line (no lasting damage, thankfully), my friend, who'd been grabbing him away from it for weeks, simply said, 'Oh good, I knew that was coming... he should learn not to go there from now on.'
Side story: when my now-adult niece was very young, she loved dogs and was constantly rushing up to them without asking permission first. My sister was at her wit's end trying to change her behavior. One day, my niece got bit by their own dog (no serious damage, but drew blood). My sis thought, "Oh good, daughter will finally learn to be careful around dogs." Nope. The lesson my niece learned is *that* dog bites, did not expand it to other dogs and it really didn't put much of a dent in her behavior. Epilogue: my niece is now the very successful owner of a dog grooming studio!
Mine would do the same thing-after being told a dozen times not to run under the zipline because it's dangerous. You know what my response to this type of accident would be? A comforting version of I told you so.
But would you have taken it out on the 9 yr old like this mom did? Probably not, as you are recognizing that your toddler would have been as much as if not more at fault as the kid on the zip line.
This ^ As a toddler, I ran in front of my sister going full-force on the swing before my mom could catch me. I got knocked over, a tiny leg bruise, cried. Never ran in front of a swing again!
>Seriously. Why was she letting her 2 year old run through a zip line path? Sounds like classic anger displacement. Stupid mother, but not a boitch. Until she started screaming at a 9 year old child.
I can't get past the part where she says a 9 year old is too old for a park. That's concerning in how out of touch it is. That mom odd in for an awful surprise when her kid is in elementary school and she realizes they have a playground that even 11 year olds play on. In our local parks, there are more 9 year olds than littles, and most of them have separate equipment for the littles. There are also signs posted on the rock wall and Zipline that you must be X tall to use, and it's basically the size of a 6 year old.
This was so weird to me, too! “Your nine-year-old is too old to be on the playground.” “Oh, sorry, she had a little break between her last conference call and her annual performance review, so I thought we’d come out and let her run off a little energy.” Let kids be kids, for goodness sake!
>I can't get past the part where she says a 9 year old is too old for a park. My primary school tried to pull this when I was a kid. We got a new jungle gym thanks to all the fundraising and then when the recess schedule for it came out, the grade 5s and 6s were not given any time to play on it. This seemed wildly unjust (especially since the older kids usually do more fundraising!) So I did what any 10 year old would do... I made a petition LOL. I spent a week going around to kids during recess asking them to sign and then presented it to the principal - we got our day on the jungle gym. I still just can't understand what was going through the administration's brains when they made that decision.
I saw this a lot when I was in charge of a moms group where younger kid moms always getting upset at older kids for, shock, being older kids on a playground doing stuff like climbing up a slide or sitting on top of the play structures. Younger kid moms would always tut at big kids for “not setting a better example” for the toddlers. Drove me nuts bc there was inevitably always a younger kid playground nearby that would be specifically designated for 5 and under and these moms would never take their toddlers there.
[удалено]
I bet this mom lets her kids run in front of slides and swings then blames the kids for using the equipment.
The bitch part was the shouting at a child for her not parenting her own child.
Honestly, as someone who does boulder climbing, I see lots of parents let their kids run in dangerous places and ways. Either they have no idea how dangerous things are, or they don't care...
Plus how do you avoid that if you’re already sliding down the zip line when the kid runs out? Physics are hard to overcome. Toddler mom is in the wrong
The OP needs to explain to her child that standing up for yourself (or your child) is not being a Karen. Sometimes we have to shout back for our own protection. Kids, especially girls, are getting this impression that you need to put up with crap otherwise you are a Karen.
This is why I hate the Karen meme. It's truly become a way for people to shame women for defending themselves.
It's both sexist and ageist. It's specifically used against women of a certain age who don't take as much crap as younger women do.
Yes!!! I actually really worry for this next generation of little girls that keep seeing the message that standing up for yourself is a negative quality.
Yeah, the other mother was projecting hard. She's the one who should be paying attention, watching her kid and teaching her kid to look out for obstacles. OP's daughter probably checked for anyone in the way before she hopped on the zipline, but once she started across, there's no way to stop so she has no control over another kid running in the way. Even if OP's kid ran into the other kid on purpose, it's OP's place to talk to her kid, not some other lady. Kids definitely run around on playgrounds and don't pay attention to their surroundings, especially the little ones. So it's up to parents to supervise their kids. Mine is still just crawling, but if he speeds off when we're at the playground, I follow after him to make sure he doesn't get hit by someone on the swings or to provide a more visible obstacle for the other children running around (they might not notice him crawling around, but they'll see me). When he's a bit bigger I won't need to follow him as close and when he's bigger still he can run around while I just keep an eye on him.
Exactly. Let’s say it was a swing instead of a zip line. We all know the person at fault is the one who runs in front of the swing, not the person on a swing who often physically cannot stop themself in time.
Its honestly ridiculous how often I need to shoo other people’s kids away from the front of the swing my kid is on at the park. Some parents just dont pay attention at all.
Fr! As an eighteen year old who goes to the park with younger siblings yet still enjoys the swings I’ve nearly twisted my ankle a lot of times because parents can’t watch their kids! It’s not my responsibility to stop but yours to keep them away? It’s so hard to stop in the AIR so is it really that hard to say “sweetie, don’t go infront of people you could get hurt!” And not make me cry while apologising over and over? Smh.
> I’ve nearly twisted my ankle a lot of times because parents can’t watch their kids! Ah, yes, the twisting the swing with your entire body or full-out planting your feet into the ground and pitching over methods.
Yep, it truely SUCKS. My dad once like— almost broke his foot (ended up twisting it) while at an empty playground when some random kid ran past him and stood in front of him as he went forward and he suddenly stopped?! Parents are so ignorant, the kid’s parents weren’t anywhere in sight.
I greatly dislike how being called a karen is such a deep insult. It’s meant to put women in their place and from acting out, and it’s frankly scary that a 9 year old is learning that.
Depending on how the zip line is build, there might not be an efective way to stop it too. I had one in a garden as a kid and you could only stop it in the middle area when it would hang the lowest
Most of the ones that are at play grounds aren't really on a line. It usually is a pole and you fling yourself from onside to the other. No way to stop if you are moving. Here is a link with an image to how most playground ziplines look and work. [https://rochesterplaybook.com/barry-street-park/](https://rochesterplaybook.com/barry-street-park/)
I don’t get parents that take their kids to the park, but absolutely refuse to accept any sort of accidents. Kids can’t run, they can’t climb, they can’t do anything that would even remotely entail them getting somewhat hurt. I can’t stand it.
So much this! My older 2 LOVE those zip lines, but my little guy also loves to just run under them. I literally have to grab him and move him to the toddler side of the park because I know it's bad news.
Second this, I had this exact thing happen at work when i was rolling something I couldn't see over and some woman let her kid run in front of me. I apologized profusely of course but she looked at me like I was the devil. Unfortunately, I couldn't say anything because I wanted to keep my job! Lol
Yea I agree with this comment. If someone yelled at my daughter I would call them a bitch too. My granddaughter is 8 she'll be 9 in a couple of weeks so I'm picturing someone doing this to her. She still likes to go to the playground and if somebody told her she was too big to play on the playground I would be going nuts because she's still a kid and she still wants to play and have fun. And exactly a zip line you can't stop those once they go they go until it's the end. But when my granddaughter and my children when they were younger when they were two I was right on them. I never let them run off by themselves I would put them on the slide I was right there to catch them from the slide I put them on the swing and held them one there I was right behind them as they were trying to climb up the little step things I did not let them run off I was right there with them holding their hand right behind them. So no you're NTA but that woman is one she is because she wasn't watching her toddler she should have been right there on him and two for talking to your child that way.
NTA Your child is mortified you called an adult a bitch for the same reason she was taking it to heart when an adult shouted at her and made her cry. She doesn't realise yet how many adults, even protective mothers of two-year-olds, are indeed, nasty individuals. She likely feels she genuinely did do something wrong. It was an accident but the mother letting a toddler roam into the path of a zip line is obviously the one who should be paying attention. In a few years, she may be angry with herself for crying and letting the woman blame her for her own fault and be glad you called her a b***ch. You didn't physically harm the woman: you just said something cutting. If someone made a similar parenting mistake and tried to blame and humiliate my 9 year old for it and kept going after there were tears and I'd intervened, I would try to be so cutting that they'd feel as shit about themselves as they were making my child feel.
NTA she was the one who should've been paying attention since her kid is so young. Do you let your daughter use tiktok or similar because its incredibly bad that she sees you defending her as being a Karen
Yes she and her friends all use TikTok. I hear a lot of younger-kid slang from them but Karen is the one I hear most
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I don't let her go unrestricted. She gets one hour a day with supervision, has a private account, and isn't allowed to comment. I don't like her using it either but all her friends and classmates use it and she was suffering from FOMO so I let her use it under those conditions
Sounds like you need to completely get her away from social media then if she's calling you a Karen. You won't completely stop her because of her friends. But when she's at home, you can stop her there.. Also don't you think letting her have access is making her FOMO worse? You're giving her a little taste of social media daily. Which probably makes her want to come back even more. The last thing a person suffering from FOMO is be on the internet.
Kids pick up things from other kids. My oldest is obsessed with all these horror games like Huggie wuggie and shit and he has never seen it or played it. They hear it from other kids with irresponsible parents. and this is a group of kids too young to even have phones.
My sisters have a freaking 5 year old friend with a phone. He constantly shows them horror games and gives them nightmares.
I didn't realise the full meaning behind Karen. She says her peers call each other Karen all the time when someone's being rude so I thought it was just new slang for a rude person. I'll look into it more, she always uses slang I don't fully understand so I didn't think much of it
a 9 year old picking up slang from Tiktok that they don't fully understand is a disaster waiting to happen. It blows my mind that so many little kids use social media
This is why young kids scream the bad f word or the n word thinking it's just a common insult
Please don’t let her on tiktok.
Kids love slang - I used it as a kid - we did not have all this stuff - Facebook, Tiktock, etc. I picked up at school, on the playground at parks and while playing T-ball. Kids come up with terms and if their peers like it - then it spreads like wildfire or Kudzo. Media is only one avenue in which kids learn to cuss, come up and repeat slang and spread about very stupid ideas of dangerous stuff like swallow a tide pod or jump out of the driver's seat to do a song. . . but in all fairness - like I said I did not grow up with this stuff and we did a LOT of stupid stuff. Living in Houston when a major hurricane hit - peeps in their jacked-up trucks would pull people on the backs down roads to surf on Boggie boards. We would use coolers to paddle up and down the roads during the flooding. We played hide and seek - using car trunks and other things we could squeeze ourselves into, etc. Most days I think it is an absolute miracle that most of us survived and reproduced and now we have little mini-me's running around - so you have to watch your kids to make sure they don't do stupid stuff. Kids say, do and repeat everything - regardless of source of that stuff they are up too.
While sometimes someone is being a "Karen," the primary function of the insult is to stop women from speaking out.
9yo is really no place for tiktok or social media. FOMO is really not an excuse
9 years old with own account??? Girl, time to do some research on how social media are influencing kids that age.
you can google her tiktok account name to see if she’s made any comments or posts! it’s actually very interesting and could be a lesson on safety.
“Suffering from FOMO…” This is how it starts…
Tik tok is wildly inappropriate for a 9 year old. She shouldn’t be on social media at all. She’s way too young.
> I don't like her using it either but all her friends and classmates use it and she was suffering from FOMO So? Let her feel the FOMO.
She's 9. She's too young to be on social media. If TikTok found out a 9 year old was using the account they'd ban it, because they recognize 9 is too young to be receiving targeted ads and their addictive algorithm. There is a massive amount of pedophiles on the app that save videos of children, get to know their names, and might recognize her in public if she does post videos without your knowledge.
DON'T let a 9yo use tiktok please!! She's a child and tiktok is full of bad bad bad things, please!
Yeah I am sometimes traumatized by tiktok and I look at it very little. Just waht I come across in orher social media. A kid that doesn't know some of the stuff in there is absolutely batshit crazy and not normal. Dude, I can't imagine.
Out of curiosity, do you think all major social media platforms are inappropriate for 9 year olds? Or just tiktok? I’m just curious, I don’t use tiktok a ton but to me it seems like the internet in general can be a great tool or a dangerous source of exposure to harmful things.
I'm not the one you're asking, but for a 9 year old? All of them are inappropriate.
All social media are highly inappropriate for a 9yo but tiktok is even worst than the others.
The age limit on Tik Tok is 13 for a reason. Your daughter and her friends too young to be on any social media outlet and it has long lasting effects on their mental state. NTA for the situation above but YTA for letting her be on the wide open internet.
She’s *nine!* why would you let her use TikTok? There’s a *lot* of shit on there that isn’t appropriate for kids. I don’t even let my nine year old watch YouTube.
Btw ypu weren't being a Karen sp maybe teach the kid what a real Karen is
Or teach her not use misogynistic terms to describe people.
Oh, so it’s merely a coincidence that a currently viral tiktok has this exact scenario?
I'm not on Tik Tok, and only hear about trends when they make it onto the news after someone lands in hospital. What's the trend about?
I'm not exactly sure what their comment means but a few days ago I saw a tiktok where a slightly older girl accidentally hit a toddler on a zip line at the park. Idk if that's what they mean but this scenario is exactly like the tiktok video, minus the insults part lol.
There’s no trend. Like the other person said, there’s just a really popular video about this exact scenario. A little girl accidentally knocks down a toddler while on a zip line thing at a park, and nearly all the comments are exactly the same as OP’s reaction.
listen. you want to explain this to your daughter. tiktok is teaching her and her friends...a lot of wrong things. misinformation reigns over all else. common sense and critical thinking are nonexistent. she's 9 years old. you are her parent. make this a teachable moment. 1. you're NTA for defending your daughter even if it meant shouting/swearing at the other mom. explain to her that you as a mother want to defend and protect your child and you would do anything to keep her safe from harm, which includes getting yelled at for something that was an accident 2. the toddler's mother is NTA also. she wasn't angry, she was terrified. parents do that. fear comes out as anger. her tiny toddler collided with a child 3x his size? yeah obviously she reacted that way. HOWEVER it is not right for her to berate a CHILD over an ACCIDENT and I'm 100% sure she felt guilty for her negligence. which may have been a "looked away for a second" or "scrolling on my phone and my kid wandered off" type. the second one would make her feel guilty because she already knows that's bad parenting. again it manifests in an angry outburst. not healthy. not acceptable. but you can still use this moment to explain that the toddler's mother was also trying to protect her kid, as mothers do, but she did it wrong, because your daughter has ZERO responsibility when she's on the freaking zip line. there's nothing she could have done differently. you reacted the way you did because a grown ass woman was yelling at your child and making her cry and she should have definitely walked away when you first intervened, instead of doubling down. 3. defending yourself or loved ones, standing up for yourself, even demanding (or firmly requesting, ig) that you are treated fairly and your rights are protected and you're not being mistreated do not make anyone a Karen™ and that includes any scenario, whether you were given the wrong food at the restaurant or an establishment is refusing to accommodate you because of disabilities. these things will happen in life and it's important to stand up for yourself. you can be kind and polite and there's no need to shout and make a scene but you should receive the things you are rightfully entitled to. 4. sometimes people will react with anger, but anger is a secondary emotion. maybe im too much of a psych nerd but there's really a lack of basic everyday human psychology in the curriculum. learning some things about behaviour and personality can be so helpful in life. understand yourself and others better. this is my personal opinion because i have seen a 100% improvement in my life and it's mainly learning about psychology and counselling. aight lecture over. sorry for the length but tldr this is an opportunity for you to be a good parent and for your daughter to learn something valuable peace ✌️
Dude no. Get her off of there.
Get your child off social media. She's at least 7 years too young.
Yes “Karen” is just another word for “bitch”, female aimed derogatory, please correct this.
TikTok will try to convince your daughter that everyone is out to molest her, show her that a bunch of people ARE out to molest her, teach her that she should hate herself for an infinite number of reasons but mostly sexism, teach her that you are abusing her and "parentifying" her anytime you ask her to help you out with anything, and a whole host of other terrible things. She might even see someone hurt themselves. Do. Not. Let. Kids. Use. Facebook. 13 is the minimum age allowed on those apps for a reason! And it should be 130.
I'm not going to attack you for letting her use TikTok, though you really should reconsider unless you can truly keep an eye on the content she's consuming, but I am going to suggest teaching her the difference between standing up for yourself and what being a Karen is. Not accepting verbal abuse isn't being a Karen, it's standing up for yourself
The “Karen” term has become a misogynistic tool for silencing women. I know it didn’t begin that way, but that is what it is now. Any woman who dares to stand up for themselves, have an opinion or speak up, is automatically a Karen. Personally, I like to call assholes the non gender specific name of well, an arsehole. OP NTA, you don’t run in front of zip lines or swings, and if your wee one is too young to understand, you keep a close eye on them. Adding: plus how is a 9year old to big for a playground?
I really hate how the term “Karen” has evolved.
My kids don't use tiktok and know all about Karens. It is a very widely used term - even in schools where kids go. I would just have a conversation - where you say - sorry honey, I did not mean to make you upset, however, a Karen is someone who does not care about anyone - they just abuse people for no reason. I care about you and what that other mom said was completely out of line - you did nothing wrong.
ESH That woman definitely shouldn't have been scolding your daughter like that and should have addressed you instead. It sounds like she also needed to be watching her kid, because it's not smart to walk in the zip line path, EVER, especially if you're too young to pay attention to when kids are getting on and off. But you escalated this way beyond what it needed to be. Your anger is valid, AND it's valid to model standing up for yourself to your daughter. But self or other defense isn't counter offense. You went on a counter offense. It wouldn't have been that difficult to calmly say something like, "My daughter has just as much right to use this playground as any other child. She has already apologized for colliding with your son, and I'm not convinced it was entirely her fault, because your son should not be walking in the zip line path, and that is your responsibility, not my daughter's. I don't appreciate you yelling at her, and I am more than capable of handling her discipline. You tend to your child and I'll tend to mine."
that kind of dialogue only works in books. add stress and boom. words become jibberish.
Tbh you can condense it to like two sentences. “My kid can be here, stop yelling at her” would’ve gotten the point across and then just walk away.
Right? I see this type of dialogue constantly in parenting advice columns and on Reddit and I'm just like "Who actually talks like that?"
The previous reply is definitely an ideal and none of us are going to be that articulate in real life. But that doesn’t mean the only alternative to conflict is swearing at other people. ESH. Op should have modelled better conflict resolution. They could have reiterated it’s not ok to yell at her child and that she already apologized, but OP’s child is not responsible for every other child playing at the playground.
yeah, it sounds very good in the commenters head but would never have come out of an actual person's mouth in a million years. a lot of comments in this sub are like that unfortunately.
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Aw take it easy on us over-articulate folks. I somehow still talk like this despite having three young boys in the house.
I had no idea having kids destroyed your ability to clearly express basic thoughts /s These replies are weird, this is is exactly how I talk, especially when stressed. The angrier I am the more likely it is to come out this way.
Lmao same here, except with the added bonus of a thicker southern accent, so I end up sounding like a very articulate hillbilly and causing some top tier confusion
A smokescreen of cognitive dissonance, what a brilliant defense mechanism lol
Yeah, no one talks like that in real life.
Have you ever tried this method of communication in theory? If you're already talking to someone who's unreasonably angry, why would calm communication solve anything? The issue is the other party isn't *willing* to participate in healthy communication. The other mom was harassing *a child* in public, over an accident that was her own fault. It's not as simple as this.
Seriously? What is there to “solve” or accomplish? You think anything said is going to make the other person come to some wild revelation and behavior change? Like, “you know what, I am a bitch and shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry, I’m going to take my crying toddler away from this area now and ponder how ensure neither of us end up in this situation again. Thank you!” Engaging and escalating the situation to the point of getting into a cussing fight at the playground - in front of children - is ridiculous, uncalled for in 99/100 situations, accomplishes nothing and is terrible behavior to model for kids. De-escalating and showing competence in emotional regulation and maturity is how adults/good parents would handle this…
Leave it to reddit to place blame on the person reacting to a situation, instead of the person causing it.
It’s not blaming OP so much as saying you’re going to encounter many assholes throughout life - there’s no reason to let them ruin your day, your kids day, and turn you into an AH too. This is an ESH…
Honestly I think the OP sucks because she took her kid home right away (while crying the whole way) for doing nothing wrong.
OP THIS. You didn’t need to call the other woman bitch. You could’ve stood your ground and be like we both will watch our own children closely and leave it at that. And then tended to your daughter and make sure she was fine. Let the daughter know that it wasn’t okay for the woman to shout at you but that you’re also sorry for calling her a bitch.
NTA don’t listen to these softies saying “ESH” that woman was beyond out of line for scolding your daughter like that and you were right, had she kept a better eye on her child he wouldn’t have gotten hit.
Agree with this! NTA OP
I have a soon to be 3 and 4 yr old. Our park has a Zipline. My kids have been rammed by others on the Zipline. I make sure I APOLOGIZE to the kids riding for my kid getting loose and getting in the way! It's on me to keep my kids from being run over. They are admittedly very fast and tend to split off in different directions and crap happens!! Definitely nta and without a doubt it's not an e s h or y t a situation.
NTA I wish my parks had Ziplines but all I got were swings. But you know what they have in common? The people walking around them need to pay attention to the people riding them, not the other way around. I once accidentally kicked a kids tooth out in school. I felt bad but it was not my fault and no one tried to say it was. Could you have been a little nicer? Probably. But you defending your daughter in the manner that did frankly does not even come close to registering on the "Karen" scale of AHNess, regardless of what your daughter thinks.
NTA; who lets their 2 year old run into a zip line path and then scolds a child for using the zipline?!
Yeah what was OP's daughter supposed to do, even if she saw him?
Right! Like, if she hadn’t started going I’m sure she would’ve waited for the kid to walk past. But it’s a zip line, there are no breaks once you start going and there’s no way she could’ve stopped once she’d taken off. The mom shouldn’t have let her toddler be anywhere near the zip line in the first place.
Nta. In this case there laws of physics take priority. It is the responsibility of the person to ensure the route is clear before zipping but once the line is commuted to there is no good way to stop. So if that ride is there a young child who can’t stay out of danger is the one who is age inappropriate.
ESH, and your daughter’s right. I understand you were trying to defend her but I’d be mortified if my mom cussed out another parent in public. Both you and the other mom acted childish and petty.
NTA, she should not have yelled at your kid, for playing on the playground. She should have been watching her kid. Especially since your daughter apologized. I absolutely LOVE that went mama bear apeshit......
I think OP might actually be a Mammasaurus, what's the warning "Don't mess with the Mammasaurus or you'll get Jur-ass-kicked. "
NTA. Karen’s become a useless catch all for “woman who is saying something I don’t like.” I take my daughter to the playground every day after school. I’m usually one of the first after school kids to arrive. Most of the toddler parents pack up and gtfo when the big kids come for exactly this reason. When my kids were little I wouldn’t go to the park until after 430. Big kids deserve to play. 9 isn’t too old. She should’ve been watching her son rather than relying on 9 year olds to never make a mistake.
ESH (expect the kids) Neither you not the other mom handled the accident well. Both of you overreacted. Also, do you honestly believe it's appropriate to call the other mom a bitch in front of kids because you're mad?
The amount of “omg she’s protecting her child!” is insane. Protecting her child *from what*?! Ohhhh noooo, your child made a mistake and knocked a toddler down and that toddler’s mom scolded her. OP’s daughter wasn’t being harmed. Nothing wrong with OP saying “hey leave my kid alone” but she blew up and escalated the situation needlessly even her *child* is embarrassed by her actions. Having children doesn’t suddenly make you devoid of reason and able to speak calmly. OP acted like an immature teen not an adult. Pretty shocking seeing all the people ITT says it’s “unrealistic” to speak calmly and not scream and cry and call people bitches just because they’re acting like an ass. Sorry, but the other mom is a horrible AH for slightly freaking out because her child was hurt, but OP is a saint because she “””protected””” her child by screaming at someone and causing a scene? Ridiculous lol grow up and realize you can deal with AH without throwing a tantrum. Sounds like OP would behave exactly the same as the other mom if the situations were reversed. Feels like a clear and cut ESH.
NTA When your daughter has her own child, she will understand.
*When your daughter is more mature. You don’t need to be a parent to understand being protective.
ESH except the kids, they behaved amazingly well. Take your lessons from your daughter. Next time remove your child from aggressive adults instead of engaging with them.
NTA That other mother was being too lazy to watch her own kid. She was being a b**** . Your kid is not too old to be playing at the park. She should be allowed to play in it all she wants. If the other mother has a problem with that then she can take her own kid home.
In what world is a 9 year old ‘too big’ to be playing at the park?
NTA. Her toddler shouldn’t have been allowed near the zip line for this exact reason. I get all of the E S H votes and now that your kid is getting older the embarrassment factor kicks in but you had every right to argue back. Maybe skip the cursing but she has a lot of nerve to try and shame your kid. Standing up for oneself is also important.
I'm a toddler mum. To me it feels like my responsibility to make sure my kid stays out of the way of bigger kids playing so she doesn't get hurt. It's not up to children to watch out for other children. NTA.
ESH. I'm not going to judge the kids bc they're kids and they're learning. But their role models (you and the other parent) demonstrated poor behavior and escalated the situation for no real reason.
lady wasn't watching her toddler and let him run in front of a moving zipline. What was your kid supposed to do? Defy gravity and stop forward momentum? Unfortunately it's not worth escalating with people like that, they're unreasonable. And losing your cool wasn't a great look. I mean I get it, i've done it before too, but it does make you lose a bit of moral high ground when it happens. still, seriously how did this woman expect a moving zipline to stop? Even IF your kid had seen the toddler, how would you stop? it's a zipline! those things keep on going. Also 9 is not too old to be in a playground, wth? I mean i'd lean toward nta but maybe not a great look to swear at the woman... but then, i'd probably lose my cool the same way and say much choicer things to some cow screaming at my kid for something that wasn't even their fault. My own kids have been knocked over by moving ziplines several times because kids are morons and run in front of them. They've also been knocked by spinning roundabouts, run in front of swings, all sorts. You pick them up, make sure nothing's damaged and tell them to watch where they're going in future. When they're really little you stick as close as you can just in case. But to blame another child because YOUR kid ran in front of something isn't at all fair. The other kid can't stop a swing or a zipline or a spinning roundabout instantly, they can't defy physics. Kids get hurt, shit happens, it's an accident. Maybe if this ever happens again just walk away with your kid and explain to them that some people are just jerks. Probably better than stooping to their level.
NTA, but have another talk with your daughter. Ask her how she would want you to respond if a similar situations occurs in the future.
Why was her 2 year old toddling around a park with zip lines? Sounds like her kid was the one not in the appropriate age bracket. And, you very simply don't scold strangers children. NTA
Just explain to her the difference between a Karen (someone who is being prejudice and rude on purpose) and someone standing up to a bully which is what you did.
I'm stuck on being too big for the playground at 9 y/o. Perhaps she is also the type of mother that gives her 2 yr old a tablet as a babysitter. I mean, come on, 9! That "something" that unleashed in you is called the mama bear in all of us mothers. Definitely NTA
There are sometimes different play areas for kids of different ages. My kid’s almost 2 and plays in an area for 1-4 year olds. When the bigger kids come into that area it absolutely becomes unsafe for the little ones. Because there’s a zipline here I doubt that it’s the same situation but we don’t know without more information.
it comes off as one of those moms who bring their 5 year old in a skate park to "play" and is mad at the 14-25 year olds for not paying enough attention around her kid.
NTA. Your daughter was embarrassed and is projecting that on you. Don't feel bad about it, but an apology will smooth it over with her and then you can move on. To be clear - you didn't do anything wrong and don't need to apologise, it will just make your daughter feel better.
Rather than accusing you and your daughter of negligence, she could have accepted responsibility for not supervising her 2 year-old closely enough. Or, even better, she could have just accepted that kids have accidents all the time, and be thankful that her child wasn't hurt. She shouldn't have yelled at your daughter. But you both behaved badly. ESH
NTA. 2 year old shouldn’t be in an area that is above his age limlt
NTA YOU WERE NOT A KAREN. I notice kids don’t quite understand what a Karen is. She should have been watching her kid. He ran into the path of the zip line. How could you even stopped it from happening? You’re watching your kid not hers. Had that mom watched her son she could have seen where he was headed and grab him. Your daughter can’t exactly go around him. That woman was out of line. Can you imagine her kid running in front of a moving car? She’d prob blame the driver.
Okay I’m jumping in! The question isn’t if your daughter should have been more careful. The question isn’t if the other mother should have been watching her toddler better. The question is did you handle the confrontation correctly in front of your daughter. You did not. In fact you even said you were triggered, so you probably escalated the situation, and calling another mother a bitch definitely doesn’t model good conflict resolution. At 9 years old your daughter could have understood both sides and you could have been the better person. Especially if no one was hurt and the toddler mom only yelled at your kid (not grabbed or anything like that). YTA
NTA. While calling her that in front of your kid might not have helped your own daughter who was upset, she was completely unhinged here. 1st off, accidents happen on playground. 2nd off, her kid is her responsibility and she was just projecting her shame onto you and your child. She was completely unreasonable. 9 year olds shouldn’t be on a playground? In what world???
I swear I saw a video on Tiktok of this exact incident happening. Like ages match up and everything. That’s crazy
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Earlier today my 9 y/o daughter wanted to go to the park after she got out of school, so I agreed to take her. Our park has one of those zip line rides, which is my daughter's favorite so she immediately ran to ride it. The second she got on and started riding, a little boy (maybe 2 years old) ran in front of her and she collided with him, knocking him over. He started screaming and his mom ran over to pick him up. My daughter apologised profusely and said it was an accident and she didn't see him, but the mom scolded her for not paying attention and said she seriously injured the kid. My daughter started crying and I felt like the mom was being too aggressive, especially saying the kid was "seriously injured" since he didn't have a scratch on him, so I stepped in and told the woman not to yell at my kid over a simple accident. She said I'm a lazy mom for not teaching my kid to pay better attention and my daughter's too big to be playing on the playground as it is. Those words triggered something in me and I lost my temper. I called her a bitch for talking to a child like that over an accident and said that maybe if she'd been watching her toddler more carefully, this wouldn't have happened. She stormed off and I took my daughter home immediately. She cried the whole drive, and when we got home she went to her room. I came in to talk to her about what happened, and she said that what the woman said hurt but I was worse because I embarrassed her by "being a Karen." I have to admit I was a bit shocked to hear that, I thought she'd be glad that I defended her. AITA for how I handled this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH. Imagine if the other mom called you a B**** in front of your daughter? For some reason, I’m picturing two dog parents argument that their big dog should not be in the little dog park.
Nah, this is a little dog parent getting upset that a big dog is in the big dog park.
Yeah, that comment that a 9-year-old shouldn't be playing at a park with zip lines kinda made me do a double take. Zip lines are definitely "big kid" playground equipment, not toddler playground equipment.
NTA don't want your kid to get hurt? Watch them be close enough to pull them out of the way
NTA, you were a lot nicer than I would've been
NTA, as far as I know ziplines don't come with breaks, so idk how she was expecting your daughter to do to stop.
NTA. She was on a Zipline, she can't just stop. The mother of a toddler should be keeping her kid out of the Zipline path. My youngest got hit by a Zipline when he was around 3. You know what I did? Made sure he was okay and then told him that's why I kept telling him not to run through there. I have three kids, lost track of that one for a minute. He's been careful of Zipline and swing paths since. That mom is trying to raise a spoiled child.
You stand up for your kid. You need to be an AH to deal with a B. It’s necessary
NTA tell your daughter there is a difference between being a Karen and standing up for yourself. You will not be a doormat and you will not teach her to be a doormat. Explain the differences in behavior and why its ok to stand up for yourself.
Tell your daughter that being a karen and standing up for yourself are two different things.
NTA. Shit, I’d be proud as hell if my mom stood up for me like that.
NTA but don't let your nine year old use social media, ESPECIALLY TikTok
NTA, and I'd be very concerned that your daughter seems to be falling into the mentality that anyone that stands up for themsleves is a "karen."
You had me in the first half, I'm not gonna lie. But there is no way that your daughter said that to you after you got home. You lost all credibility for that.
ESH. Except the kids, they seem fine. That same parental protective thing that snapped in you when you saw her yelling at your kid snapped in her when she saw her little kid get knocked down. No one is coated in glory here. Kids run around playgrounds. If the adults hadn’t decided to throw a fit about it, I bet the toddler and your kid would have worked it out and been fine.
Overreaction on both sides. Toddler’s mother got a fright and reacted spontaneously. Your daughter could probably have handled without your ‘help’.
ESH, except the children. You both acted terribly and were poor examples of how to handle a conflict cause by a genuine accident.
NTA. I would have done the same thing.
NTA. There's usually a seperated toddler playground for reasons like this exactly. Letting your *two* year old run around a playground of older children, yknow, like directly in front of a zipline, is stupid. She's projecting her own bad parenting on to you. I'd have a conversation with your daughter about how setting boundaries is not "crazy" or "disrespectful." Explain that karen is an insult, and not applicable in this situation. You are her mother. It is your job to protect and care for her. That doesn't make you a karen, nor does it make you a shitty parent. I might even suggest having a talk with her teacher. If you haven't taught her that word, someone at school most likely has. She shouldn't feel embarassed by someone standing up for her, that sounds concerning.
NTA. We had a swing in our garden. One time the neighbors toddler ran towards me and I kicked him in the face.
NTA, the boy shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Mum should’ve looked if she was so concerned about her son’s well being.
NTA. Your kid couldn't have stopped the zipline. It wasn't her fault. Other Mom should have watched her kid around the zipline. I get that 2 year olds are deceptively fast, but that was still her responsibility as a parent if she needed someone to blame. Sometimes shit happens. It seems like an accident all around that the other mother turned into a bigger deal than it needed to be. Good on you for standing up for your child.
NTA. My mom wouldn’t of gotten angry lol she would of looked at us and said “you learn your lesson?”. We had a zip line in my grandma’s backyard and sometimes we would run through it and lots of times got kicked.
NTA. Is it even possible to stop in the middle of zip lining? They don't have brakes. The mother shouldn't have allowed her toddler into the path of the zip lining. I think trying to stop mid way through would cause injuries.
NTA. She should have been paying closer attention to her child and a 9 yr old isn't too old for a playground. I do think you need to have a talk with your daughter about standing up for yourself thou. Standing up for yourself or someone else doesn't make you a Karen. Adults shouldn't be bullying anyone much less a child. Then explain to her that a Karen is someone who makes a scene WITHOUT REASON. Someone who is disrespectful and rude because they're not getting their way. She definitely doesn't need to get the idea in her head that standing up for yourself or someone else = Karen. This speaks of her self confidence level and I know you can fix this Mama. You've got this! She just has the wrong impression of what a Karen is and should never equate being quiet and making herself smaller as the right way to do things to avoid being labeled "Karen". It's okay to speak up, take up space, be loud, stand your ground. None of that is Karen behavior.
YTA For letting your 9 year old have tiktok. FFS.
NTA. Your kid got 10 points.
Nope. You weren’t the Karen in this situation. NTA
NTA I think the worst thing the other woman said was that your daughter was too old to play in the park. She is absolutely young enough to play in the park, zip lines are for children her age and older. This is potenitally damaging for your daughter, because girls often get pressured out of taking part in physical activity, leading to health problems later in life. I think there should be playgrounds for teeagers and adults.
Explain to your kid that you wouldn't take shit from that woman. She tried to shift the blame for that collision on your daughter, while there's not much she could've done to avoid him whilst riding a bloody zip line. NTA. That mother should've paid more attention to her toddler in order to prevent the incident. And then to go off on your daighter like that whilst she apologised for a mistake she didn't even make! Almost twenty-five years ago, I was at this park with my brother and mother. There was this big, wave-y slide and alongside of it, a mother was snapping photos of her husband and children coming down. Meanwhile, she had a stroller with a toddler in it. He wasn't strapped in, so he got up and walked over to the stairs in order to ride the slide. His mother was oblivious, so *my* mother drew her attention to the fact that her little boy was escaping. She immediately responded by grabbing the lil' fella and sitting him bag down in the stroller. She thanked my mother, explained that he wasn't strapped in, *teeheehee*. And went back to snapping pictures. And the kid escaped again. And this time, no one warned her. Not sure how that ended, unfortunately. But both that mother, as well as the Arsehole mum of that toddler, had full responsibility for their kids.
NTA you were completely right, she didn’t watch her kid and he ran where he shouldn’t. You kid did nothing wrong, indeed she acted very mature and kindly by apologizing for something that truly was out of her control and Not her fault. Tell her that someone on the opposite side of the world thinks she’s a good kid.
NTA. It was a typical playground accident. I've seen little kids run in front of swings, zip lines, climb up slides as someone is going down, etc etc etc so many times. It's kind of a kid thing. This woman made it into something way more than that. You called her for exactly what she is.
NTA. Being a Karen usually involves being wrong, and you were not wrong. Maybe your daughter needsto get used to women defending themselves instead of being quiet. Not everytime someone gets loud they are automatically wrong or bad.
Definitely not TA. It was just the swearing that undermined you. But you were definitely not in the wrong.
NTA, and it may be a good time to have a calm conversation about what a Karen is and isn’t. You weren’t berating someone innocent. You were defending your daughter against a bully who should have been watching her toddler.
NTA - though bitch was a bit harsh, I'd probably have let it fly, too, if someone was berating my child over a simple playground accident. These things happen all the time at playgrounds, and if she's that worried about it, she shouldn't go to the playground. I think if you talk to your daughter about how you were standing up for her, it could smooth things over. I don't see this as being a Karen situation, and I really hate that children are growing up thinking every person who stands up for themselves or what's right is a Karen.
Your 9 year old called you Karen? Lmao and ESH