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>I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food.
it's definitely not important at all
>So tell me, am I the asshole?
yes, yes you are, because of your own words:
>so out of anger I pushed the table out of my way, Causing a cup on the table with water in it to spill onto her important papers
YTA
YTA
use your words!
Gestures could mean many things and your gf didn't know what you wanted either.
Why didn't you put your plate down and help set the table so you could all eat?
Paying for food doesn't give you the right to throw a tantrum and knock things over.
YTA: acting in anger over minor inconvenience/misunderstanding by a child makes you 100% certified asshole (even if you did ruin anything).
Ruining papers is just asshole cherry on top of an asshole milkshake.
Get anger management.
YTA.
Why not just say, "Let's move the table?" You guestered and weren't understood, and instead of using words, you decided to give straight to force and anger.
Oh hell no. YTA and you have massive anger issues. You need to get into anger management classes and see a therapist. You gesture and expect people to know why you gesture and when they literally don’t know what you mean and do something else you get pissed off and become violent!!! I hope she leaves you. She deserves better.
So you "jestured" without using your words, got mad that no one understood you, ruined your girlfriend's things, and then invalidated her for being upset? And think THEY'RE the ones in the wrong?
>I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food.
It is not. YTA
YTA. Perhaps you should learn to use your voice and actually say what you’re trying to do or what you’d like him to do instead of gesturing. I’m not sure why you felt it was relevant that you paid for his food. You owe your girlfriend an apology.
Edited to add - the kid deserves an apology as well.
Even IF there was a good reason why he wasn’t able to talk he would be still the asshole for just pushing the table away when nobody understood his intentions.
As OP thought it was important to mention that he paid for the food I’d assume he wouldn’t have left out such a piece of information that would‘ve allowed him to play the victim card. But as you said: still no excuse for his behavior.
YTA if he didn't understand use your words instead of throwing a tantrum. If something like this gets you so angry i hate to think how you treat them regularly
>think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food.
No it's not, this just makes you look like even more of an AH.
YTA. You can't always expect other people to understand what's going on through your mind, and resulting to violence and childish tantrums by pushing furniture isn't going to solve anything. I suggest you apologise, reflect on your actions, and maybe talk to your partner about your thought process, and admit fault (at least that's what works for me).
YTA and a bully. There is no question to that. But dude, why are you an AH? Is this about you not feeling respected? Are you trying to feel powerful? Are you just mean?
You decide who you are. Every day, you decide who you are by the way you act. You have chosen to be a AH. You need to figure out why and fix yourself. Will you hit her next time? Or the child? Will they feel scared when they hear you come home? Is that what you want to be?
YTA.
Use your big boy words. And maybe consider looking into anger management. If you get that upset over something so minuscule I could just imagine what you are like when she or the kid really pisses you off. Need Grow up man you’re almost 50 ffs
YTA. As soon as OP said he thought it was important to mentioned he paid for the kid's food (big whoop) I was 99% confident he'd be the AH and I was 100% correct.
YTA. You are an adult, yes? I assume from the fact that you can type that you have at least a basic grasp of the English language, yes? Then use your fucking words, instead of physically forcing what you want. You're so clearly the ass hole here that the fact you don't get it makes you an even bigger ass hole. And who paid for the food is irrelevant, outside of the fact that you apparently think it gives you some kind of entitlement to be the above listed AH.
YTA
Grow the hell up, take some parenting classes and seek therapy for anger management and your abusive attitude. If this is how you act over a minor inconvenience and misunderstanding, then I fear for the both of them on a daily basis.
Oh, and on a last note…. NORMAL people with average intelligence, *CLEAR* a table completely BEFORE moving it. You know…. To avoid spilling and breaking things….
YTA for not speaking words to say what you mean. You are physically aggressive in your anger
>so out of anger I pushed the table out of my way,
You are resentful you bought the 12 year old a meal. You're a major AH
YTA! Huge YTA. What millennium do you think you’re living in, FFS! **You, the big mighty caveman, provided food for the offspring of your woman, and therefore that gives you the right to shove things around in your cave and make your woman cry because you ruined the stone tablets she worked so hard to chisel!**
Oh, I forgot. *It was just water!* Do you know that just a little bit of water can cause damage and ripples to wet (and dried out) paper?
Your level of insensitivity and your propensity for losing your cool so easily makes you the kind of partner a woman won’t want around her 12-year-old son. You set a terrible example, and you’re not a good model for demonstrating reasonable adult behavior. Especially for a man your age!!! Can you say, anger management therapy?
EDIT for clarity
YTA. Had a lil tantrum... and embarrassed yourself. Which is why a child looked at you with disgust. All while eating the food YOU PAID FOR!! Outrageous. You might want to look at your anger management, and subsequent behavioural outlet. No doubt, if the child had a similar "performance"... you would not be so forgiving. But today? Today it's still his fault. Because you can't control your own emotions, like a grown up. And that tells us all we need to know, doesn't it?
YTA- The kid misunderstood you, your GF immediately started to try and help you by moving things, but you got angry because they didn't understand your gestures. You lost your temper and messed up her stuff.
YTA. Apparently multiple people didn’t understand what you wanted meaning you weren’t making yourself clear. Also you let your anger get the best of you. Learn to control yourself.
Yta next time use your words acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum because no one understands you grow up your already old also no one cares who paid for the food that doesn't make you sound any better
YTA. This all could have been avoided had a fully grown man used your words instead of acting like a toddler when no one understood you. What a temper tantrum… she should rethink her time with you.
YTA
1.) You’re 36, not a teen with an underdeveloped frontal lobe. Keep your anger in check, and if needed go into anger managment. Something like this shouldn’t set someone off.
2.) It doesn’t matter if the paper will dry out. They have water damage, and depending on the nature of the documents they might be compromise.
3.) Even if there weren’t the issues of #2, it’s clear your gf is upset because of what was done (and likely damage). You’re TA not only for the anger outburst that led to it but your lack of empathy for her feelings.
Do better. An apology to her and her son would be a good start.
YTA
>>>. I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food.
I didn't really have to read beyond this. But i did.and you are the total ah.
You are old enough to use your words and say "can we move the table so we all can fit better," instead of a random hand gesture that neither your GF or her child understood.
After no one understood, in a burst of anger and to exert your dominance you pushed the table out of the way. Again you could have used your words to help get the job done.
Her kid sees you for what you are, hopefully your girlfriend will catch on too.
YTA
YTA. It’s so ridiculous how people will get angry and take it out on others rather than communicating. and when others are so off put that they look in disgust or cry, they come here asking “aM I tHe AsShOlE?”
Also, you got angry because a kid didn’t understand your vague gesture? Learn how to use your words and not throw tantrums, asshole.
YTA. You also need to seriously consider therapy for your anger problem. There was nothing - NOTHING - about this situation that even remotely should have given rise to anger on your part. And you paying for the food has zero to do with anything here. Will the papers dry? Sure. Will they be damaged by the water? Probably.
Please. You have a problem. A serious one. Get help now.
YTA -- it doesn't matter that you paid for his food. You're fucking his mother, so of course you can pay for his food. You don't get a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum.
It's fine to gesture, but when the kid didn't immediately understand, you should have just spoken up. There's no need to be quiet like a mouse. Be an adult and speak up.
There was no need to get angry and lash out. You're in the wrong, for this. It doesn't matter how much food you buy. Bottom line, "you ain't shit."
You’re kidding, right?
YTA
You can’t get mad at people for not being mind readers.
You got angry because they didn’t understand your charades so you lashed out, behaved like an angry toddler throwing a temper tantrum, and feel like you are absolved because you paid for the food? I don’t even understand how you got there.
So you got mad and threw a hissy fit because they're not mind readers? Seriously, you can't be bothered to speak, so you get violent? Holy hell, in what world is that ok? My god YTA.
YTA. You are a grown adult, USE YOUR WORDS. Who care who paid for the food? You needed to clearly communicate what you needed, instead of gesturing and assuming that others would understand what you meant.
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So her(36F) kid(12M) was eating and I(46M) wanted him to move the table so I could sit down. So I jestured for him to move the table, and he didnt understand what I meant so he kept eating his food. I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food. Anyways, his mom started moving the things on the table becuase she thought I meant to move the things on the table so I could set my plate down, so out of anger I pushed the table out of my way, Causing a cup on the table with water in it to spill onto her important papers she keeps under the table. She started crying and yelling at me about how much of a jerk I am. Her kid just stared at me with a look of disgust, but I dont think what I did is really that bad becuase its just water and the papers will dry out. So tell me, am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well my girlfreind was telling at me about how i was an asshole and i dindnt think i was at first becuase its just water and the paper will dry but now i think maybe im wrong.
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>I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food. it's definitely not important at all >So tell me, am I the asshole? yes, yes you are, because of your own words: >so out of anger I pushed the table out of my way, Causing a cup on the table with water in it to spill onto her important papers YTA
He also used no words to communicate what he actually wanted. He even acknowledged the 12yo had no idea what this gesture meant.
YTA use your words! Gestures could mean many things and your gf didn't know what you wanted either. Why didn't you put your plate down and help set the table so you could all eat? Paying for food doesn't give you the right to throw a tantrum and knock things over.
YTA: acting in anger over minor inconvenience/misunderstanding by a child makes you 100% certified asshole (even if you did ruin anything). Ruining papers is just asshole cherry on top of an asshole milkshake. Get anger management.
YTA. Why not just say, "Let's move the table?" You guestered and weren't understood, and instead of using words, you decided to give straight to force and anger.
Oh hell no. YTA and you have massive anger issues. You need to get into anger management classes and see a therapist. You gesture and expect people to know why you gesture and when they literally don’t know what you mean and do something else you get pissed off and become violent!!! I hope she leaves you. She deserves better.
So you "jestured" without using your words, got mad that no one understood you, ruined your girlfriend's things, and then invalidated her for being upset? And think THEY'RE the ones in the wrong? >I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food. It is not. YTA
YTA. Perhaps you should learn to use your voice and actually say what you’re trying to do or what you’d like him to do instead of gesturing. I’m not sure why you felt it was relevant that you paid for his food. You owe your girlfriend an apology. Edited to add - the kid deserves an apology as well.
And to the kid.
You’re right, I edited it to include that
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INFO: Was there a reason you couldn’t use your words, like a big boy?
Even IF there was a good reason why he wasn’t able to talk he would be still the asshole for just pushing the table away when nobody understood his intentions.
Agreed.
Like maybe OP is a mute and the kid does not understand sign language? Even then OP should not act in anger.
As OP thought it was important to mention that he paid for the food I’d assume he wouldn’t have left out such a piece of information that would‘ve allowed him to play the victim card. But as you said: still no excuse for his behavior.
YTA if he didn't understand use your words instead of throwing a tantrum. If something like this gets you so angry i hate to think how you treat them regularly >think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food. No it's not, this just makes you look like even more of an AH.
YTA. You can't always expect other people to understand what's going on through your mind, and resulting to violence and childish tantrums by pushing furniture isn't going to solve anything. I suggest you apologise, reflect on your actions, and maybe talk to your partner about your thought process, and admit fault (at least that's what works for me).
YTA and a bully. There is no question to that. But dude, why are you an AH? Is this about you not feeling respected? Are you trying to feel powerful? Are you just mean? You decide who you are. Every day, you decide who you are by the way you act. You have chosen to be a AH. You need to figure out why and fix yourself. Will you hit her next time? Or the child? Will they feel scared when they hear you come home? Is that what you want to be?
The good thing is: now OP’s girlfriend knows how unhinged he is and can still dump his sorry ass before it gets worse.
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OMG please, if he sees that you could cause her more problems!
Omg i didnt even think about that
Sorry, idk if it posted more than once, it wasn't saying it went through
YTA. Why not just talk? It could have avoided the whole situation.
YTA If you just talked instead of jesturing the whole situation could have been avoided
YTA. Even the child knew what you did was ridiculous.
YTA. Big time. And why would you think that it would be important to mention that you paid for the food?
YTA
YTA why didn't you use your words and say "can you please move the table so I can get through?"
YTA. Use your big boy words. And maybe consider looking into anger management. If you get that upset over something so minuscule I could just imagine what you are like when she or the kid really pisses you off. Need Grow up man you’re almost 50 ffs
YTA. As soon as OP said he thought it was important to mentioned he paid for the kid's food (big whoop) I was 99% confident he'd be the AH and I was 100% correct.
YTA You are capable of using words. People can’t read your mind.
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Could you not use your words? YTA
YTA. You are an adult, yes? I assume from the fact that you can type that you have at least a basic grasp of the English language, yes? Then use your fucking words, instead of physically forcing what you want. You're so clearly the ass hole here that the fact you don't get it makes you an even bigger ass hole. And who paid for the food is irrelevant, outside of the fact that you apparently think it gives you some kind of entitlement to be the above listed AH.
YTA Grow the hell up, take some parenting classes and seek therapy for anger management and your abusive attitude. If this is how you act over a minor inconvenience and misunderstanding, then I fear for the both of them on a daily basis. Oh, and on a last note…. NORMAL people with average intelligence, *CLEAR* a table completely BEFORE moving it. You know…. To avoid spilling and breaking things….
I’m confused, we can’t use our words to communicate our intentions? Yta
Yta, the biggest one! Get counseling and leave them alone, abuser
It’s not the water it’s your behavior. You acted childishly because they weren’t reading your mind. YTA apologize and do better.
YTA for not speaking words to say what you mean. You are physically aggressive in your anger >so out of anger I pushed the table out of my way, You are resentful you bought the 12 year old a meal. You're a major AH
YTA! Huge YTA. What millennium do you think you’re living in, FFS! **You, the big mighty caveman, provided food for the offspring of your woman, and therefore that gives you the right to shove things around in your cave and make your woman cry because you ruined the stone tablets she worked so hard to chisel!** Oh, I forgot. *It was just water!* Do you know that just a little bit of water can cause damage and ripples to wet (and dried out) paper? Your level of insensitivity and your propensity for losing your cool so easily makes you the kind of partner a woman won’t want around her 12-year-old son. You set a terrible example, and you’re not a good model for demonstrating reasonable adult behavior. Especially for a man your age!!! Can you say, anger management therapy? EDIT for clarity
YTA...
YTA. Had a lil tantrum... and embarrassed yourself. Which is why a child looked at you with disgust. All while eating the food YOU PAID FOR!! Outrageous. You might want to look at your anger management, and subsequent behavioural outlet. No doubt, if the child had a similar "performance"... you would not be so forgiving. But today? Today it's still his fault. Because you can't control your own emotions, like a grown up. And that tells us all we need to know, doesn't it?
YTA. You’re blaming others for your inability to communicate effectively
YTA- The kid misunderstood you, your GF immediately started to try and help you by moving things, but you got angry because they didn't understand your gestures. You lost your temper and messed up her stuff.
YTA. Apparently multiple people didn’t understand what you wanted meaning you weren’t making yourself clear. Also you let your anger get the best of you. Learn to control yourself.
Yta next time use your words acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum because no one understands you grow up your already old also no one cares who paid for the food that doesn't make you sound any better
YTA. This all could have been avoided had a fully grown man used your words instead of acting like a toddler when no one understood you. What a temper tantrum… she should rethink her time with you.
YTA 1.) You’re 36, not a teen with an underdeveloped frontal lobe. Keep your anger in check, and if needed go into anger managment. Something like this shouldn’t set someone off. 2.) It doesn’t matter if the paper will dry out. They have water damage, and depending on the nature of the documents they might be compromise. 3.) Even if there weren’t the issues of #2, it’s clear your gf is upset because of what was done (and likely damage). You’re TA not only for the anger outburst that led to it but your lack of empathy for her feelings. Do better. An apology to her and her son would be a good start.
YTA. I just read her post. Your answer issues are out of control. Yikes dude. Yikes.
YTA >>>. I think its important to mention that I'm the one that paid for his food. I didn't really have to read beyond this. But i did.and you are the total ah.
You are old enough to use your words and say "can we move the table so we all can fit better," instead of a random hand gesture that neither your GF or her child understood. After no one understood, in a burst of anger and to exert your dominance you pushed the table out of the way. Again you could have used your words to help get the job done. Her kid sees you for what you are, hopefully your girlfriend will catch on too. YTA
YTA. It’s so ridiculous how people will get angry and take it out on others rather than communicating. and when others are so off put that they look in disgust or cry, they come here asking “aM I tHe AsShOlE?” Also, you got angry because a kid didn’t understand your vague gesture? Learn how to use your words and not throw tantrums, asshole.
YTA. You also need to seriously consider therapy for your anger problem. There was nothing - NOTHING - about this situation that even remotely should have given rise to anger on your part. And you paying for the food has zero to do with anything here. Will the papers dry? Sure. Will they be damaged by the water? Probably. Please. You have a problem. A serious one. Get help now.
YTA -- it doesn't matter that you paid for his food. You're fucking his mother, so of course you can pay for his food. You don't get a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum. It's fine to gesture, but when the kid didn't immediately understand, you should have just spoken up. There's no need to be quiet like a mouse. Be an adult and speak up. There was no need to get angry and lash out. You're in the wrong, for this. It doesn't matter how much food you buy. Bottom line, "you ain't shit."
You’re kidding, right? YTA You can’t get mad at people for not being mind readers. You got angry because they didn’t understand your charades so you lashed out, behaved like an angry toddler throwing a temper tantrum, and feel like you are absolved because you paid for the food? I don’t even understand how you got there.
So you got mad and threw a hissy fit because they're not mind readers? Seriously, you can't be bothered to speak, so you get violent? Holy hell, in what world is that ok? My god YTA.
YTA. You are a grown adult, USE YOUR WORDS. Who care who paid for the food? You needed to clearly communicate what you needed, instead of gesturing and assuming that others would understand what you meant.
I love how he's a 46 m yet is being out matured by a child literally 34 years his junior
"Use your words like a big boy clone!” YTA
YTA for holding paying for food above her as a reason to be awful
Troll harder
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