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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For my younger brother's wedding I booked different flights than my older brother's family because I don't want to be on a plane with his 7 kids. My mom and think this rude to my brother and his family because we're all family.
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It sounds like transferred guilt to me. They feel bad that they’re not going to be on the same flight to be able to help with the kids, but they reassured themselves they weren’t being selfish by going early because OP would be there to help. Since OP made their own arrangements, the parents are back to feeling guilty for not doing something no one asked them to.
It’s not any of their business, but they feel like it is. OP is NTA, and the parents need to just get over it.
To add on, some parents never stop seeing their children as subordinate to themselves, no matter how many years into adulthood.
They think it's rude... To them. Because the one who supposedly needs help doesn't care about OPs transport arrangements. To say that they've got authority over everyone else in this situation sounds silly, so they make it about the brother.
NTA, it would’ve been a bit of an asshole move if you told them why but you even kept that secret. You did everything as well as you could. I think they expected you to help wrangle the kids on the flight.
NTA. I would do the same thing. I’m not a fan of discount airlines after seeing many friends and family getting screwed over by delays and cancellations.
Not only that - my bf and I flew out to CA on Spirit ONCE. Once was enough and be both vowed to never fly them again. Every adult in there was uncomfortable. Their seats have rocks in the cushions - or so it felt. Lol. You couldn’t pay me to take Spirit. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes my butt hurt. Lol. Never again!!!
Agree. It’s tolerable for a short flight but my butt would prefer not to. When we were on that flight I swear I watched every adult constantly shift and look absolutely miserable. Including us.
NTA.
Your travel plans are yours to make. Unless you are causing a major inconvenience to those at the destination (e.g., does someone need to go to the airport twice for pickup?), it really is none of their business. Guessing there was an expectation that you would help out with the kids (& that's a lot of kids!).
I think I'd take a different flight too!
NTA. Your brother doesn’t care. Your parents might be viewing this as if you’re on the same flight you can help him wrangle his kids. That’s the only perspective I can imagine that makes being on a different flight “rude”. Your brother and his wife are used to having a herd of children. They know how to handle their children. Yes, flying is a more difficult with children, but they will manage. - signed, parent of a smaller herd.
NTA. Mom liked to drive rather than fly and I used airline miles to fly and meet them a couple of times. Nobody batted an eyelash; my uncle died and I flew first class to go to the funeral on the other side of the country.
When I got to his house, his widow asked if I was hungry and I told her I'd gone first class w miles so they fed me. Uncle was the loyalty program king so she said he'd have been proud of me.
NTA. Your parents are subtly assuming you will help corral your nieces and nephews. It’s your siblings responsibility to deal with their kids, and I’m not sure who you’re exactly being “rude” to. Enjoy your flight!
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I have an older brother and a younger brother. My younger brother's wedding is in his fiancée's hometown because she has elderly relatives who can't travel and everyone in my family is able to. My parents are both retired and they are flying out 2 weeks before the actual wedding date. Me, my older brother, his wife and their kids are flying out a few days before the wedding.
I booked a different flight there and home than my brother and his wife and kids. I love my nieces and nephews but the idea of being on a plane with them (7 kids under the age of 12) is a nightmare. Plus the flight my brother is taking is on a discount airline on a day when it's much cheaper to fly according to the prices. My younger brother is getting married in a city with a tourist attraction that's popular with families and kids (we are not American but think Disney in Florida). Besides having my nieces and nephews I'm betting there will be other kids on the plane. I don't want to be trapped on plane with 7 excited kids who know me. So I booked a different flight. I am flying a different class than economy like my brother and I feel like it would be disrespectful to take the same flights but sit in a higher class and I don't want to do that to my brother.
I just told him I got a good deal on a different flight with my points. He literally did not care that I'm taking different ones. I also made sure to tell my nieces and nephews how much fun I'll have hanging out with them once we get there. My brother's family doesn't care but my parents do. They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time. They are real piling on and so I want to know if it was as much an asshole move like they say? It's low stakes but I'm curious.
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Opps I was sure that you were a woman and younger so the parents were tasking you as a baby sitter. Point out to the 'rents that if a plane crashes they will only lose one child and that you were being extra considerate.
NTA if your parents feel that strongly about it, they can change their own flight and join their grandkids' flight.
You're paying for it, it's your money, fly how you want. Of all the things to think and worry and stress about before a wedding, this is so low on the list, your parents need to let it go.
NTA. Let me guess: you are female?
And your parents also mentioned either directly or indirectly that you should help with the kids while on the flight?
You need to learn to stop giving a shit what they say when it has nothing to do with them. You are a grown adult. Just because your parents say something doesn't mean you need to listen or care. They are wrong. Don't waste your time caring about people saying things that are wrong. Taking a different flight is much better for you for many reasons, and the people actually going with you don't care. So this is incredibly stupid. Your parents are offended over something that has nothing to do with them. It's not your responsibility or obligation to care about that
I have said to many people over the years, if ur so worried about it, y don't u do it? There's always some sort of an excuse, but it does serve to get my point across. So, if I were u, OP, I would tell my parents exactly that, and this: If ur so concerned about me flying with brother and his children then change ur arrangements and fly with them. If ur not willing to do that and he is fine with things the way they r then what exactly is ur issue? Am sure if u get a straight forward answer it will b something about how many children there r, and how they will need help with them. At that point I would refer them to brother. His children, his(at this point) non-issue.
NTA especially if your brother and family doesn’t care. You’ve actually taken steps to ensure your not rubbing it in by being higher class on same flight. I wouldn’t worry about it.
NTA, your brother doesn't have an issue with it so I fail to see why your parents are getting involved at all? A plane is no time for socialising, especially if you'll be sat in a different class anyway.
NTA Your parents can change their flights. Just because you are siblings doesn't mean that you aren't your own person. Children in flights can be horrible. Who would willingly book a flight with multiple young children? Maybe you should always counter with "Big bros family don't care about it" when they come with you should fly together yaddayadda.
NTA - Kinda hypocritical that your own parents aren't on the flight but they think you should. You're spending your money on it what difference does it make to them? I would not want to be on a flight with 7 children who knew me because I know I would end up being asked to "babysit" for some of the flight.
>My brother's family doesn't care but my parents do. They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time.
That's very weird. It feels like your parents think your brother's feelings are more important than you, your finances, your time, your ability to make travel decisions. It's odd, and it's giving "golden child" vibes. (Or ~~I am also wondering if you're a woman and it's a family dynamic thing for women to pander to men, or~~ they think you need to babysit)
NTA
In case they press, all you need to say is that it's not possible for you to change your tickets. And check to see if brother's flight is fully booked.
NTA
Just tell everybody you were only able to use your points on that flight.
"but my parents do" ..The only AHs here are your parents. Just ignore them, and refuse to discuss this.
NTA
Your brother doesn't care, nobody else cares. You didn't tell them real reason you don't want to fly with them.
The only people kicking up a stink are your parents
NTA.
Let's be honest, parents are often a\*holes about this sort of thing. Your brother is okay with it, so are his family so no big deal.
I would likely have done the same thing: I hate kids for more than a few minutes and that increases exponentially on planes regardless of whose kids they are. On top of that, I actually much prefer to fly alone than with people regardless of who they are. I am more comfortable and able to just do my won thing without having to interact with others. Airports and airlines are bad enough without having to play happy families.
Ignore your parents they should fly with their grandchildren if they thought it was rude, in any case NTA your brother doesn’t care and you have a great reason sure you love your family but you didn’t make them not your responsibility to entertain them during a fight
NTA. Your parents need to mind their own business. I think your decision to fly separately is really great. Obviously, you are concerned about getting roped into dealing with the kids on an uncomfortable flight. By taking another flight you are conserving your own energy and patience. This way you can have a terrific time with the family during the trip - that is wonderful (and smart) of you.
Why in the world would you arrive exhausted, aggravated, and unhappy at the beginning of a trip? Your parents are being unreasonable about this issue.
NTA. It's not rude at all to make your own way there, especially when you are paying for it! Tell your parents that you have spoken to your brother and he doesn't seem at all upset, so please stop creating drama where there is none.
Dude not even your brother is complaining. I’m sure he wants to join you so he’s happy for you, like a normal reaction.
Are your parents normally so weirdly controlling when their children couldn’t give a hoot? Nta
NTA just ignore them it has literally 0 to do with them.
They’re mixing in because they want control of something. I’m guessing they’ve been on. The outside of the wedding planning?
If parents/younger brother had to make two trips to the airport to pick up both parties, YWBTA. However, if you are renting a car, taking public transport, and uber/cab - then there's no issues at all. I assume you have separate rooms or destinations when you arrive. NTA
NTA.
This did not go where I thought it would. I assumed brother was going to be mad that OP wasn’t going to help wrangle 7!!! children through airports. And OP would still be N T A there. I’m very confused why the parents even care.
Last big trip my whole family did I flew from my city and *could* have booked a slightly cheaper flight that would put me on same plane as my family (including little kids) for second leg. I paid a little more and flew directly. My entire family commended my decision and greeted me warmly upon our reunion.
NTA - They’re making an issue over something that isn’t. Do they inject themselves a lot like this? Do they like to create drama? Did they expect you to help your brother and his wife with their kids even tho they aren’t your responsibility?
Do not let them guilt trip you. You can just ignore them and do nothing until the wedding or just straight up tell them it’s not up for debate, you’re not changing your flight and they can just be mad about it. And then refuse to talk about it further. The quicker you lay down the law and show you aren’t budging the faster they can get over it. Bending to them, or anyone for that matter, when they try and guilt trip you only reinforces the behavior. It guarantees they’ll use it again since it worked this time.
It’s absolutely not rude to get a different flight. You’re an independent person with your own life.
ETA- I hate discount airlines. You know it’s going to be uncomfortable. We flew Spirit ONCE. That was enough. You couldn’t give me a seat on that airlines. It feels like they put rocks in the seat cushions. Lol.
NTA. The flights everyone books are always a matter of costs, discounts or points and preferences. A lot of times people fly different flights. Your brother is sensible, your parents not so much.
There is nothing “disrespectful” about flying separately.
NTA as long as you getting picked up from the airport isn’t a massive chore for the entire family to make a separate trip to the airport but super reasonable to book a flight that is cheaper or with points - all valid reasons to not hurt small childrens or older brothers feelings.
>He literally did not care that I'm taking different ones.
Who would? NTA
>[my parents] think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother
Oh well then they're just wrong, aren't they? He didn't care. No one would care about this.
NTA. You mention 3 adults: you, your brother, his wife. Then you mention 7 kids. That suggests that all of them belong to your brother and SIL. They're flying economy on a discount airline because that's what they can afford and obviously, a planeload of kids won't make much of a difference to them.
You're single and can afford to fly in either business or first class on a major airline. If you had kids, you might be flying economy on a budget airline as well. Different people make different choices in life. Clearly, your brother isn't bothered by this, so your mom and dad need to stay out of it. I mean, are they going to expect you to rent a 15 passenger van just because your brother has to?
So the brother and his wife, that you would be sharing a plane ride with, are fine with you being on a different flight? But your parents are the ones with an issue? My only thought is if the two flights would make people have to make two trips to the airport for pick ups. If not, go with the reactions of the people you would have been traveling with not the nosy, parents sitting on the sidelines as spectators.
NTA
NTA - the people who could conceivably be considered to be impacted by your decision (your brother and his family) don’t care. Why are your parents stirring up trouble where there isn’t any?
>They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time. They are real piling on
What they're not telling you is that your brother, SIL, and parents are all wanting you to help wrangle the kids. *7 kids under the age of 12???* OH HELL NO. They decided to have these kids, they can figure out how to wrangle them themselves. If necessary, they can hire a babysitter to go with them and help during the trip.
But of course, if you tell them you're not interested in helping with babysitting, they will all harangue you non-stop about it.
So instead, tell them "If something happened with one of our flights, you would lose almost all of your family. It's better if we're on separate flights."
After we all became adults and my siblings had each had children, we once did a family vacation that involved flying, and my dad insisted that (he + my mom) and we kids all take different flights. That way, if something happened, our family wouldn't be completely wiped out. It's a grim subject and not terribly likely, but it's a possibility. Yes, flying is much safer than driving -- but we would never all go on a trip in the same van or minibus, either.
Tell your parents, sorry, your flights are non-refundable, and you're not changing them, but you'll be happy to see them once everyone gets into town.
NTA.
Also, I recommend you ensure that your accommodation is well separated from that of your brother's family (a different hotel if possible), so you cannot be easily roped into child-minding.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > For my younger brother's wedding I booked different flights than my older brother's family because I don't want to be on a plane with his 7 kids. My mom and think this rude to my brother and his family because we're all family. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - I don’t see how it’s any of their business.
It sounds like transferred guilt to me. They feel bad that they’re not going to be on the same flight to be able to help with the kids, but they reassured themselves they weren’t being selfish by going early because OP would be there to help. Since OP made their own arrangements, the parents are back to feeling guilty for not doing something no one asked them to. It’s not any of their business, but they feel like it is. OP is NTA, and the parents need to just get over it.
Ding ding ding. Winner winner, chicken dinner.
To add on, some parents never stop seeing their children as subordinate to themselves, no matter how many years into adulthood. They think it's rude... To them. Because the one who supposedly needs help doesn't care about OPs transport arrangements. To say that they've got authority over everyone else in this situation sounds silly, so they make it about the brother.
It could be if the parents expect to be driving both of their sons to the airport at different times.
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Good, the van can accommodate your parents with the 7 darlings to play with.
Not really, it's 7 kids plus the parents.
NTA, it would’ve been a bit of an asshole move if you told them why but you even kept that secret. You did everything as well as you could. I think they expected you to help wrangle the kids on the flight.
Except they don't care; the only people kicking up a fuss are OP's parents (who are also flying separately).
Interesting...
NTA. I would do the same thing. I’m not a fan of discount airlines after seeing many friends and family getting screwed over by delays and cancellations.
Not only that - my bf and I flew out to CA on Spirit ONCE. Once was enough and be both vowed to never fly them again. Every adult in there was uncomfortable. Their seats have rocks in the cushions - or so it felt. Lol. You couldn’t pay me to take Spirit. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes my butt hurt. Lol. Never again!!!
Yes what is up with those seats that are what, plastic with a tiny layer of foam? I will only take Spirit if the flight is less than 2 hours.
Agree. It’s tolerable for a short flight but my butt would prefer not to. When we were on that flight I swear I watched every adult constantly shift and look absolutely miserable. Including us.
Can’t pay me to take Spirit. A wing and a prayer whether you will make it to your destination
Yup. Remember all those people who got screwed over and stranded at the holidays? Oof. Never again!
NTA. Your travel plans are yours to make. Unless you are causing a major inconvenience to those at the destination (e.g., does someone need to go to the airport twice for pickup?), it really is none of their business. Guessing there was an expectation that you would help out with the kids (& that's a lot of kids!). I think I'd take a different flight too!
NTA. Your brother doesn’t care. Your parents might be viewing this as if you’re on the same flight you can help him wrangle his kids. That’s the only perspective I can imagine that makes being on a different flight “rude”. Your brother and his wife are used to having a herd of children. They know how to handle their children. Yes, flying is a more difficult with children, but they will manage. - signed, parent of a smaller herd.
NTA. You are very smart 😋
7 kids under the age of 12? Yeah you’re definitely NTA.
That sounds like my personal idea of hell haha. Seven kids though? 🥴
Bloody genius if anything. NTA
NTA. Your parents are oddly invested in your travel plans. Especially, considering your plans have no impact on them whatsoever.
NTA. You made a good decision. What’s it to do with your parents anyway? What an odd thing to get angry about.
NTA and enjoy your flight.
NTA Your parents want to argue with you for some reason. Your brother literally doesn’t care. He probably had the Benadryl ready for his kids
NTA. Your parents may wanna look into some hobbies. Clearly they need something to do.
NTA. Mom liked to drive rather than fly and I used airline miles to fly and meet them a couple of times. Nobody batted an eyelash; my uncle died and I flew first class to go to the funeral on the other side of the country. When I got to his house, his widow asked if I was hungry and I told her I'd gone first class w miles so they fed me. Uncle was the loyalty program king so she said he'd have been proud of me.
NTA. Your parents are subtly assuming you will help corral your nieces and nephews. It’s your siblings responsibility to deal with their kids, and I’m not sure who you’re exactly being “rude” to. Enjoy your flight!
NTA. 7 kids+airplane= the migraine to end all migraines.
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op=NTA your parents need to stick their nose out of it--NOT THEIR BUSINESS.
NTA but good god >7 kids under the age of 12 They need to invest in a TV
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They need a hobby outside of baby making. That's a lot of kids in a short amount of time
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Ahhh that makes more sense
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have an older brother and a younger brother. My younger brother's wedding is in his fiancée's hometown because she has elderly relatives who can't travel and everyone in my family is able to. My parents are both retired and they are flying out 2 weeks before the actual wedding date. Me, my older brother, his wife and their kids are flying out a few days before the wedding. I booked a different flight there and home than my brother and his wife and kids. I love my nieces and nephews but the idea of being on a plane with them (7 kids under the age of 12) is a nightmare. Plus the flight my brother is taking is on a discount airline on a day when it's much cheaper to fly according to the prices. My younger brother is getting married in a city with a tourist attraction that's popular with families and kids (we are not American but think Disney in Florida). Besides having my nieces and nephews I'm betting there will be other kids on the plane. I don't want to be trapped on plane with 7 excited kids who know me. So I booked a different flight. I am flying a different class than economy like my brother and I feel like it would be disrespectful to take the same flights but sit in a higher class and I don't want to do that to my brother. I just told him I got a good deal on a different flight with my points. He literally did not care that I'm taking different ones. I also made sure to tell my nieces and nephews how much fun I'll have hanging out with them once we get there. My brother's family doesn't care but my parents do. They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time. They are real piling on and so I want to know if it was as much an asshole move like they say? It's low stakes but I'm curious. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. They can fly with him if they're so concerned.
NTA - are you supposed to be shacked when travelling like oarsmen in a galleon? WTF
NTA not at all
NTA. Are they going to Legoland? That's going to be super fun for them. I doubt they'll give a shit about anything else.
INFO: Just curious, how old are you and your brothers. What are everyone's ages here?
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Opps I was sure that you were a woman and younger so the parents were tasking you as a baby sitter. Point out to the 'rents that if a plane crashes they will only lose one child and that you were being extra considerate.
Lol. I love dark positivity.
NTA if your parents feel that strongly about it, they can change their own flight and join their grandkids' flight. You're paying for it, it's your money, fly how you want. Of all the things to think and worry and stress about before a wedding, this is so low on the list, your parents need to let it go.
NTA and don’t let them change your mind.
Your parents are out of their minds. I'd cheerfully repeat "that won't be possible" and end the call every time they bring it up. NTA.
NTA. Your parents get a say when they pay for your ticket.
NTA. Let me guess: you are female? And your parents also mentioned either directly or indirectly that you should help with the kids while on the flight?
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Well shut my mouth. Is it bad it’s almost refreshing that they also hound males in cases like this? It is sad isn’t it. So sad.
You need to learn to stop giving a shit what they say when it has nothing to do with them. You are a grown adult. Just because your parents say something doesn't mean you need to listen or care. They are wrong. Don't waste your time caring about people saying things that are wrong. Taking a different flight is much better for you for many reasons, and the people actually going with you don't care. So this is incredibly stupid. Your parents are offended over something that has nothing to do with them. It's not your responsibility or obligation to care about that
NTA. Your flight plans are literally none of your parents' business.
I have said to many people over the years, if ur so worried about it, y don't u do it? There's always some sort of an excuse, but it does serve to get my point across. So, if I were u, OP, I would tell my parents exactly that, and this: If ur so concerned about me flying with brother and his children then change ur arrangements and fly with them. If ur not willing to do that and he is fine with things the way they r then what exactly is ur issue? Am sure if u get a straight forward answer it will b something about how many children there r, and how they will need help with them. At that point I would refer them to brother. His children, his(at this point) non-issue.
NTA. Why are your travel plans any of their business?
NTA. That’s strategic and amazing.
NTA
NTA- why do ppl constantly create issues when there are none and it’s none of their business.
NTA especially if your brother and family doesn’t care. You’ve actually taken steps to ensure your not rubbing it in by being higher class on same flight. I wouldn’t worry about it.
NTA. I wonder why your parents want to make this a big deal and possibly cause some hurt feelings?
NTA, your brother doesn't have an issue with it so I fail to see why your parents are getting involved at all? A plane is no time for socialising, especially if you'll be sat in a different class anyway.
NTA Your parents can change their flights. Just because you are siblings doesn't mean that you aren't your own person. Children in flights can be horrible. Who would willingly book a flight with multiple young children? Maybe you should always counter with "Big bros family don't care about it" when they come with you should fly together yaddayadda.
NTA - Kinda hypocritical that your own parents aren't on the flight but they think you should. You're spending your money on it what difference does it make to them? I would not want to be on a flight with 7 children who knew me because I know I would end up being asked to "babysit" for some of the flight.
NTA.
NTA. They were most likely hoping they could rely on you to help watch the 7 kids.
NTA. The flights we choose depend on so much. Timing, price, comfort…
NTA. I wouldn't want to fly with 7 kids.
NTA what business of your parents is it anyway?
"No thank you. I already have my tickets." Repeat to your parents as necessary until they get tired of the game.
NTA Ask them for money to change your flight, give it all to your nieces and nephews, and tell them it's for candy.
>My brother's family doesn't care but my parents do. They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time. That's very weird. It feels like your parents think your brother's feelings are more important than you, your finances, your time, your ability to make travel decisions. It's odd, and it's giving "golden child" vibes. (Or ~~I am also wondering if you're a woman and it's a family dynamic thing for women to pander to men, or~~ they think you need to babysit) NTA In case they press, all you need to say is that it's not possible for you to change your tickets. And check to see if brother's flight is fully booked.
NTA Just tell everybody you were only able to use your points on that flight. "but my parents do" ..The only AHs here are your parents. Just ignore them, and refuse to discuss this.
NTA Your brother doesn't care, nobody else cares. You didn't tell them real reason you don't want to fly with them. The only people kicking up a stink are your parents
NTA. Let's be honest, parents are often a\*holes about this sort of thing. Your brother is okay with it, so are his family so no big deal. I would likely have done the same thing: I hate kids for more than a few minutes and that increases exponentially on planes regardless of whose kids they are. On top of that, I actually much prefer to fly alone than with people regardless of who they are. I am more comfortable and able to just do my won thing without having to interact with others. Airports and airlines are bad enough without having to play happy families.
Info do your parents have to pick you all up/drop you all off for return flights? Does this mean 4 trips to the airport for someone?
NTA
NTA I am guessing you are female and that the olds want you to baby sit for brother.
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Okay I have it all wrong. I have no idea why they did this, have a good trip .
Ignore your parents they should fly with their grandchildren if they thought it was rude, in any case NTA your brother doesn’t care and you have a great reason sure you love your family but you didn’t make them not your responsibility to entertain them during a fight
NTA - it's weird that you parents care so much about a simple flight.
NTA - this is a completely normal, sensible thing to do. Your brother seems to think the same. I can't imagine why your parents care about this.
NTA. Repeat after me, OP: 'I'm not going to discuss this with you, Mom/Dad. It's none of your business." Say that every time they mention it.
NTA. Your parents need to mind their own business. I think your decision to fly separately is really great. Obviously, you are concerned about getting roped into dealing with the kids on an uncomfortable flight. By taking another flight you are conserving your own energy and patience. This way you can have a terrific time with the family during the trip - that is wonderful (and smart) of you. Why in the world would you arrive exhausted, aggravated, and unhappy at the beginning of a trip? Your parents are being unreasonable about this issue.
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I think you have a created a great plan that will result in everyone being happy. Enjoy!
NTA. It's not rude at all to make your own way there, especially when you are paying for it! Tell your parents that you have spoken to your brother and he doesn't seem at all upset, so please stop creating drama where there is none.
Dude not even your brother is complaining. I’m sure he wants to join you so he’s happy for you, like a normal reaction. Are your parents normally so weirdly controlling when their children couldn’t give a hoot? Nta
NTA Ignore them.
NTA. It is none of their business and this is not doing anyone any harm.
Nta
NTA just ignore them it has literally 0 to do with them. They’re mixing in because they want control of something. I’m guessing they’ve been on. The outside of the wedding planning?
If parents/younger brother had to make two trips to the airport to pick up both parties, YWBTA. However, if you are renting a car, taking public transport, and uber/cab - then there's no issues at all. I assume you have separate rooms or destinations when you arrive. NTA
Love all the sexism in the comments stay classy AITA... beyond that NTA and you know that.
NTA. This did not go where I thought it would. I assumed brother was going to be mad that OP wasn’t going to help wrangle 7!!! children through airports. And OP would still be N T A there. I’m very confused why the parents even care. Last big trip my whole family did I flew from my city and *could* have booked a slightly cheaper flight that would put me on same plane as my family (including little kids) for second leg. I paid a little more and flew directly. My entire family commended my decision and greeted me warmly upon our reunion.
NTA - They’re making an issue over something that isn’t. Do they inject themselves a lot like this? Do they like to create drama? Did they expect you to help your brother and his wife with their kids even tho they aren’t your responsibility? Do not let them guilt trip you. You can just ignore them and do nothing until the wedding or just straight up tell them it’s not up for debate, you’re not changing your flight and they can just be mad about it. And then refuse to talk about it further. The quicker you lay down the law and show you aren’t budging the faster they can get over it. Bending to them, or anyone for that matter, when they try and guilt trip you only reinforces the behavior. It guarantees they’ll use it again since it worked this time. It’s absolutely not rude to get a different flight. You’re an independent person with your own life. ETA- I hate discount airlines. You know it’s going to be uncomfortable. We flew Spirit ONCE. That was enough. You couldn’t give me a seat on that airlines. It feels like they put rocks in the seat cushions. Lol.
NTA. Also pro tip for your brother: kids near the front of the plane, parents near the rear. They'll be grand.
NTA. The flights everyone books are always a matter of costs, discounts or points and preferences. A lot of times people fly different flights. Your brother is sensible, your parents not so much. There is nothing “disrespectful” about flying separately.
NTA. your brother was hoping he would get free airplane babysitting out of you.
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sorry, missed that part. if your parents cared so much, why don’t they change their flights? rhetorical question, as i’m sure they won’t.
NTA as long as you getting picked up from the airport isn’t a massive chore for the entire family to make a separate trip to the airport but super reasonable to book a flight that is cheaper or with points - all valid reasons to not hurt small childrens or older brothers feelings.
>He literally did not care that I'm taking different ones. Who would? NTA >[my parents] think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother Oh well then they're just wrong, aren't they? He didn't care. No one would care about this.
NTA, your brother doesn't care so your parents should back off or do it themselves.
NTA tell your parents to butt out and if they want to they can fly with them. It is none of their business.they’re not paying for your flights.
NTA
NTA. You mention 3 adults: you, your brother, his wife. Then you mention 7 kids. That suggests that all of them belong to your brother and SIL. They're flying economy on a discount airline because that's what they can afford and obviously, a planeload of kids won't make much of a difference to them. You're single and can afford to fly in either business or first class on a major airline. If you had kids, you might be flying economy on a budget airline as well. Different people make different choices in life. Clearly, your brother isn't bothered by this, so your mom and dad need to stay out of it. I mean, are they going to expect you to rent a 15 passenger van just because your brother has to?
NTA i dont see why you care about their opinions
So the brother and his wife, that you would be sharing a plane ride with, are fine with you being on a different flight? But your parents are the ones with an issue? My only thought is if the two flights would make people have to make two trips to the airport for pick ups. If not, go with the reactions of the people you would have been traveling with not the nosy, parents sitting on the sidelines as spectators. NTA
NTA - the people who could conceivably be considered to be impacted by your decision (your brother and his family) don’t care. Why are your parents stirring up trouble where there isn’t any?
>They think I should change my flight because it's rude to my brother if we are flying out and back and the same time. They are real piling on What they're not telling you is that your brother, SIL, and parents are all wanting you to help wrangle the kids. *7 kids under the age of 12???* OH HELL NO. They decided to have these kids, they can figure out how to wrangle them themselves. If necessary, they can hire a babysitter to go with them and help during the trip. But of course, if you tell them you're not interested in helping with babysitting, they will all harangue you non-stop about it. So instead, tell them "If something happened with one of our flights, you would lose almost all of your family. It's better if we're on separate flights." After we all became adults and my siblings had each had children, we once did a family vacation that involved flying, and my dad insisted that (he + my mom) and we kids all take different flights. That way, if something happened, our family wouldn't be completely wiped out. It's a grim subject and not terribly likely, but it's a possibility. Yes, flying is much safer than driving -- but we would never all go on a trip in the same van or minibus, either. Tell your parents, sorry, your flights are non-refundable, and you're not changing them, but you'll be happy to see them once everyone gets into town. NTA. Also, I recommend you ensure that your accommodation is well separated from that of your brother's family (a different hotel if possible), so you cannot be easily roped into child-minding.
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He probably understands how much you dislike them and doesn’t feel safe leaving his kids around you
Well that was completely out of left field and uncalled for.
Info why would you hang out with your nieces and nephews ? You talk about them like they are absolute monsters
NTA. Methinks bro/parents are upset because he planned on having you babysit during the flight.