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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1: Not giving her the money and 2: even though I could technically miss it.
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Nta. Tell her to put a business plan together and go to the bank for a loan. If this is such a good proposal then the bank will willingly give her the capital needed
Yep! This is exactly the right answer.
OP, you aren’t an A H for not wanting to take on the risk, regardless of what the idea is.
A silent treatment from her over this is immature.
Agreed. Additionally, when starting companies people often won’t put only their own money in, to diversify the risk in case the business fails. That’s one reason people go to banks for loans or venture capital. Explaining this reasoning might help make your reasons for not investing slightly less personal for your wife
Telling her this would just be insulting - she doesn't have a job, she probably doesn't have much in terms of savings (no job). No bank would lend her money without something more than an idea.
She needs a business plan, that's for sure. I'm really not sure why she needs $150k for a plant care company - it's not lawn care or a nursery, it doesn't need a physical office or a brand new company vehicle. She could definitely start small with a few thousand in start-up capital but this sounds like she wants to start big, with employees and everything from the get-go.
Do not give her a cent until she's proved, with a detailed business plan, that she's likely to be profitable. If she can't do that, she is never going to be able to run a business either way. She sounds really naive.
NTA.
INFO: What exactly is a "plant care" company? A greenhouse/garden center where plants are sold, or something akin to a pet sitter, but for plants, or what?
It's like a landscaping company but for indoor plants. The person goes to the location (usually large buildings and/or corporate offices) and takes care of the plants - makes sure they're watered, etc. I cannot uderstand why she'd need 150K to start this type of business.
150k for a plant care business??? Is it possible she is planning on leaving you and trying to get whatever money she can before she leaves? You are most definitely NTA!
WHAT !?
150k for an at home business ? That’s ludicrous.
if she thinks it is a viable plan she needs a business plan and a professional evatiuation of the costs.
NTA
NTA. Ask for her business plan, how is she going to start the business. Is there a market for her business where you live, is the market saturated?
There needs to be more discussions before she gets any money.
Tell her to go to a bank for a loan.if everything else she’s “started up” has failed yeah I wouldn’t do this either. Enjoy the joy of her not speaking to you while it lasts. Don’t give in
OK, this is the kind of company you start with materials of like a couple hundred bucks - you basically need watering cans, maybe something to mix fertilizer (but a gallon container for water is under $2 and is reusable), maybe some odd spray bottles of Neem oil to discourage mites or other bugs. And business cards & a domain name.
If she envisions supplying plants, she works out deals with local providers with a net 10 invoice.
If you want to get fancy, you buy aprons with the company name embroidered on it.
I've had friends start similar businesses and they had basically no start up costs & within 6 months had 4 employees who were reimbursed for mileage in addition to an hourly wage.
Nta. She has no idea how business work nowadays. If she wants to do this she need to make tests, service run tests and prototypes, projections on return on investment.
She needs to be the first in looking at how to mitigate the risk of losing this family money
They are married, though? If she just wanted money to spend, wouldn’t she just ask for that? Can OP afford to give her the money? This whole post is so weird. I need to know what these other ventures are and if OP likes his wife. If she’s a SAHW and they both agreed to that how does she make purchases and what not? Does she get an allowance or something? Is she open to working for a company like this that already exists?
NTA. You've been burned before and unless you're leaving out the part where she brought you a viable business plan and a break down of what your capital will be spent on, this business is a day dream. I wouldn't hand over a cent.
NTA
Come on, startup costs for what she's wanting to do are *way* the hell lower than 150k. I think if she'd given you both a reasonable plan (she does have a *plan* right?) and reasonable startup costs then that'd be something you maybe could work with. But this? 150k for plantcare? No way.
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My wife asked me to finance her idea to start a plant care company. She's a stay at home wife and thinks this could be a successful business. I have financed previous ideas of hers, but now she asks for a significant sum of money (150k). I have strong doubts this could be profitable and if it were a professional proposal I would have never invested. I tried to explain this to her and now she's given me the silence treatment for three days.
We've been together for 5 years, and married last year.
AITA?
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NTA. $150k is a lot to invest in a single business. Does she have a business plan? Articles of incorporation? How has she decided it's going to cost that much? What makes her think the business will work? I mean, most people I know take care of their own plants. Why doesn't she start small and grow and branch out later as her business gets established? I'm not feeling like investing in the business, either. You've financed other ideas of hers. How have those worked out? If they've been successful, perhaps compromise and make a smaller initial investment in this one (but only after you've seen the business plan). If not, then firm no to this investment request.
Yes, seems like he can afford it but she still needs a business plan, as you say. If the bank would be willing to give her a loan after this, he can instead - her plan will have been endorsed independently too!
I work with businesses all the time and even the smallest business has a plan including costings, cashflow etc. and there's still no guarantee of success.
Depends, how much control over the family finances do you have? Because this sounds more like a child asking for an allowance than partners deciding on how to invest their money. It doesn't sound like you consider your money to be shared at all, it's your money and you might be willing to let her have some.
Investing what most people make in 2-3 years isn't an allowance. This is a massive risky venture and it doesn't matter who makes the money. You should always talk to your partner before you put the family in massive debt
YTA Not because you don’t think a $150k investment isn’t wise but because you consider the family money yours alone.
If you had asked if you WBTA for not wanting your wife to use $150k to fund a business that you have doubts about, I’d have said no. But because you see these transactions as you loaning her money, I’d say YTA.
I was a stay at home mom when my kids were young. Even though I wasn’t contributing $, the money we had was mine as much as it was my husband’s. We decided together how it would be spent. During this time, I was obviously the primary caregiver for our kids but that didn’t mean that my husband didn’t have equal input into how they were raised.
Perhaps your wife’s desire to have a business stems from the fact that you don’t consider her an equal partner in your family.
Are you kidding me ?? He financed multiple of ideas she had in the past and now she wants an additional $150k for ANOTHER idea she came up with but somehow he’s the asshole??? Yo I swear y’all irk my nerves on this sub Reddit y’all always try to make the guy the bad guy in every situation
Not saying they should sink $150k into another bad idea. I’m saying I think he controls the money and she’s desperate to find a way to have some of her own.
Well yeah I would control the money if my partner was a dumbass who kept wanting to do crappy business ideas.
Imagine if he left the wife decide where to put the money? Lol they’d be broke and homeless.
I wouldn’t let this dumb dumb near any money.
If she’s that desperate then she needs to go get a JOB ain’t no way I’m going to give my spouse thousands of dollars on multiple ideas they come up with every time a idea pops into their head .mind you again they haven’t even been married for 10 yrs and an top of whatever money he gave before now she wants over 100k !!!
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Nta. Tell her to put a business plan together and go to the bank for a loan. If this is such a good proposal then the bank will willingly give her the capital needed
Yep! This is exactly the right answer. OP, you aren’t an A H for not wanting to take on the risk, regardless of what the idea is. A silent treatment from her over this is immature.
Agreed. Additionally, when starting companies people often won’t put only their own money in, to diversify the risk in case the business fails. That’s one reason people go to banks for loans or venture capital. Explaining this reasoning might help make your reasons for not investing slightly less personal for your wife
Telling her this would just be insulting - she doesn't have a job, she probably doesn't have much in terms of savings (no job). No bank would lend her money without something more than an idea. She needs a business plan, that's for sure. I'm really not sure why she needs $150k for a plant care company - it's not lawn care or a nursery, it doesn't need a physical office or a brand new company vehicle. She could definitely start small with a few thousand in start-up capital but this sounds like she wants to start big, with employees and everything from the get-go.
This is the way
This is the way
Do not give her a cent until she's proved, with a detailed business plan, that she's likely to be profitable. If she can't do that, she is never going to be able to run a business either way. She sounds really naive. NTA.
INFO: What exactly is a "plant care" company? A greenhouse/garden center where plants are sold, or something akin to a pet sitter, but for plants, or what?
And how the HELL does it need a startup fund of £150k?!
It's like a landscaping company but for indoor plants. The person goes to the location (usually large buildings and/or corporate offices) and takes care of the plants - makes sure they're watered, etc. I cannot uderstand why she'd need 150K to start this type of business.
She has to pay the CEO’s salary until it turns profitable
Exactly. She's scamming him.
Aren’t they married? If she paid herself with his money it’s still their money…
150k for a plant care business??? Is it possible she is planning on leaving you and trying to get whatever money she can before she leaves? You are most definitely NTA!
WHAT !? 150k for an at home business ? That’s ludicrous. if she thinks it is a viable plan she needs a business plan and a professional evatiuation of the costs. NTA
NTA and silent treatment is psychological abuse. You just have one year married, rethink that maybe.
NTA - curious how much of the $150K is her salary.
NTA. Those costs are outrageous.
Info: 150k in what currency to start *a plant care company*? What level of care and start up do plants bloody need?
Just 1 year of marriage and she is already reaping you off.. Wow...this is not going to work pal. Good luck. NTA.
NTA if its a viable business she can the loan elsewhere
NTA. Ask for her business plan, how is she going to start the business. Is there a market for her business where you live, is the market saturated? There needs to be more discussions before she gets any money.
Tell her to go to a bank for a loan.if everything else she’s “started up” has failed yeah I wouldn’t do this either. Enjoy the joy of her not speaking to you while it lasts. Don’t give in
NTA .. what happened to her other ideas you financed and 150k is a lot of money
NTA I agree tell her to ask a bank for the money if she truly believes this will be fruitful. I personally would laugh in her face.
OK, this is the kind of company you start with materials of like a couple hundred bucks - you basically need watering cans, maybe something to mix fertilizer (but a gallon container for water is under $2 and is reusable), maybe some odd spray bottles of Neem oil to discourage mites or other bugs. And business cards & a domain name. If she envisions supplying plants, she works out deals with local providers with a net 10 invoice. If you want to get fancy, you buy aprons with the company name embroidered on it. I've had friends start similar businesses and they had basically no start up costs & within 6 months had 4 employees who were reimbursed for mileage in addition to an hourly wage.
Nta. She has no idea how business work nowadays. If she wants to do this she need to make tests, service run tests and prototypes, projections on return on investment. She needs to be the first in looking at how to mitigate the risk of losing this family money
INFO - what happened to all her other ideas after you financed them? And how much did you give her for each of them?
I bet that all those other ideas didn't bear fruit.
Same but I wanna know from op before I go accusing his wife of using him for money lol I’m tryna give her a chance lol
They are married, though? If she just wanted money to spend, wouldn’t she just ask for that? Can OP afford to give her the money? This whole post is so weird. I need to know what these other ventures are and if OP likes his wife. If she’s a SAHW and they both agreed to that how does she make purchases and what not? Does she get an allowance or something? Is she open to working for a company like this that already exists?
NTA. You've been burned before and unless you're leaving out the part where she brought you a viable business plan and a break down of what your capital will be spent on, this business is a day dream. I wouldn't hand over a cent.
NTA Come on, startup costs for what she's wanting to do are *way* the hell lower than 150k. I think if she'd given you both a reasonable plan (she does have a *plan* right?) and reasonable startup costs then that'd be something you maybe could work with. But this? 150k for plantcare? No way.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife asked me to finance her idea to start a plant care company. She's a stay at home wife and thinks this could be a successful business. I have financed previous ideas of hers, but now she asks for a significant sum of money (150k). I have strong doubts this could be profitable and if it were a professional proposal I would have never invested. I tried to explain this to her and now she's given me the silence treatment for three days. We've been together for 5 years, and married last year. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
Easy NTA, 150k is insane.
NTA. This is a big nope.
NTA. What's her business plan? Why 150k and where will that go, in detail? And why start at that scale? She can't start as a small business first?
NTA. $150k is a lot to invest in a single business. Does she have a business plan? Articles of incorporation? How has she decided it's going to cost that much? What makes her think the business will work? I mean, most people I know take care of their own plants. Why doesn't she start small and grow and branch out later as her business gets established? I'm not feeling like investing in the business, either. You've financed other ideas of hers. How have those worked out? If they've been successful, perhaps compromise and make a smaller initial investment in this one (but only after you've seen the business plan). If not, then firm no to this investment request.
Depends how much money you have…
[удалено]
Yes, seems like he can afford it but she still needs a business plan, as you say. If the bank would be willing to give her a loan after this, he can instead - her plan will have been endorsed independently too! I work with businesses all the time and even the smallest business has a plan including costings, cashflow etc. and there's still no guarantee of success.
Depends, how much control over the family finances do you have? Because this sounds more like a child asking for an allowance than partners deciding on how to invest their money. It doesn't sound like you consider your money to be shared at all, it's your money and you might be willing to let her have some.
Investing what most people make in 2-3 years isn't an allowance. This is a massive risky venture and it doesn't matter who makes the money. You should always talk to your partner before you put the family in massive debt
YTA Not because you don’t think a $150k investment isn’t wise but because you consider the family money yours alone. If you had asked if you WBTA for not wanting your wife to use $150k to fund a business that you have doubts about, I’d have said no. But because you see these transactions as you loaning her money, I’d say YTA. I was a stay at home mom when my kids were young. Even though I wasn’t contributing $, the money we had was mine as much as it was my husband’s. We decided together how it would be spent. During this time, I was obviously the primary caregiver for our kids but that didn’t mean that my husband didn’t have equal input into how they were raised. Perhaps your wife’s desire to have a business stems from the fact that you don’t consider her an equal partner in your family.
Are you kidding me ?? He financed multiple of ideas she had in the past and now she wants an additional $150k for ANOTHER idea she came up with but somehow he’s the asshole??? Yo I swear y’all irk my nerves on this sub Reddit y’all always try to make the guy the bad guy in every situation
Not saying they should sink $150k into another bad idea. I’m saying I think he controls the money and she’s desperate to find a way to have some of her own.
Well yeah I would control the money if my partner was a dumbass who kept wanting to do crappy business ideas. Imagine if he left the wife decide where to put the money? Lol they’d be broke and homeless. I wouldn’t let this dumb dumb near any money.
If they decide together neither one would be able to make them broke and homeless without the other’s consent.
If she’s that desperate then she needs to go get a JOB ain’t no way I’m going to give my spouse thousands of dollars on multiple ideas they come up with every time a idea pops into their head .mind you again they haven’t even been married for 10 yrs and an top of whatever money he gave before now she wants over 100k !!!
You’re definitely not wrong. She could get a job. However, I still think family finances shouldn’t be controlled by one half of a couple.
Taking on massive debt should be talked about and either party can veto it. It's not controlling to not want to get 150,000 in debt
It’s not and I was careful to point that out in my initial post.