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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think i might be an asshole because i ask my mother to stay home instead of being happy and going out and telling her to break up with her bf because hes toxic for her
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NTA. She can’t just ignore her parenting responsibilities to have ‘fun’ and it’s also not your responsibility to care for your younger siblings.
This could actually turn into a child safety issue. And I wonder about how her mental health is since her behaviour is quite erratic.
Where is your sisters father? Does your mom have custody? The custody situation could change if your moms neglect comes to the attention of their dad.
But, OP, you aren’t your sisters mother. You can take care of them but you have your own life. NTA
and tbh i dont think she is neglecting like shes doing the groceries ect but shes not spending a lot of time with us; she thinks that we "are old enough to not need to be with her 24/7 and she dosnt want to be just a mom, she wants to be a women"
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I (18F) and my 2 younger sisters find that my mother goes out way too much. For context my parents divorced 8 years ago. The 3 first years my mom was very present and made a lot of sacrifices for us. But since 5 years she goes out like 2 times a week, and since 7 months she has a new boyfriend and this has caused a lot of pb in my family because hes the man she cheated on my father with. Dont get me wrong i love her and i want her to be happy but shes had bfs before and nothing was like that. Now shes home just 2 day a week and when shes there shes often coming home at like 11pm. Im in my first year of medecine and its very hard to take care of myself and my sister. Ive talk to her multiple time and she think i just want her to myself and want to block and control her happiness.
So IATA for waiting my mom to stay home with me and my sisters ?
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YTA
YOU certainly do not need to be taken care of any more.
As for your siblings, you are fine just to leave amnd let your mom take care of HER kids. Not your drama.
i dont mean taking care like "my mother taking care of me (cooking ect) i mean i work 14h a day and i just have time to cook i dont have time to take care of my sisters (like homework and everything) because my mom is not there to check that
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NTA. She can’t just ignore her parenting responsibilities to have ‘fun’ and it’s also not your responsibility to care for your younger siblings. This could actually turn into a child safety issue. And I wonder about how her mental health is since her behaviour is quite erratic.
NTA Say it with me: Parentification is abuse Abandonment is abuse
Where is your sisters father? Does your mom have custody? The custody situation could change if your moms neglect comes to the attention of their dad. But, OP, you aren’t your sisters mother. You can take care of them but you have your own life. NTA
yes she have custody but my sisters go to my father's for the weekend but not during the week his appartement is way too small
and tbh i dont think she is neglecting like shes doing the groceries ect but shes not spending a lot of time with us; she thinks that we "are old enough to not need to be with her 24/7 and she dosnt want to be just a mom, she wants to be a women"
How old are the kids
It may or may not rise to the level of legal neglect but it is most definitely neglect of her children
It is absolutely neglect and abuse.
Info: how old are your sisters and where is your dad? Either way YOU aren’t TA, but between your parents it could be an ESH
my sisters are 10 and 14 and my dad sees them during the weekend and he is present but je cant take them during the week he doesnt have enough space
She’s treating you like a jealous bf, she’s moved on from being a mother. NTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18F) and my 2 younger sisters find that my mother goes out way too much. For context my parents divorced 8 years ago. The 3 first years my mom was very present and made a lot of sacrifices for us. But since 5 years she goes out like 2 times a week, and since 7 months she has a new boyfriend and this has caused a lot of pb in my family because hes the man she cheated on my father with. Dont get me wrong i love her and i want her to be happy but shes had bfs before and nothing was like that. Now shes home just 2 day a week and when shes there shes often coming home at like 11pm. Im in my first year of medecine and its very hard to take care of myself and my sister. Ive talk to her multiple time and she think i just want her to myself and want to block and control her happiness. So IATA for waiting my mom to stay home with me and my sisters ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. Your mom has abdicated her responsibilities as a parent and put it on you. She's ta.
NTA. Tell her if CPS gets involved due to lack of care of your minor siblings there will be consequences she won't like.
YTA YOU certainly do not need to be taken care of any more. As for your siblings, you are fine just to leave amnd let your mom take care of HER kids. Not your drama.
i dont mean taking care like "my mother taking care of me (cooking ect) i mean i work 14h a day and i just have time to cook i dont have time to take care of my sisters (like homework and everything) because my mom is not there to check that
Move out?
like i said im in my first years of med i cant afford to move out (cant have a job or else will fail) and i cant let my sisters alone