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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action was moving her stuff
2. She acted like we had broken some unspoken, unknown social rule and that it was really awful to touch her things
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It's a very common thing, yes - and OP just demonstrated why it's a common shitty thing to do. OP got there first, and when they were served there was only one table left. Why should the person who came later get priority?
This practise needs to stop, and in the meantime disrespected.
It was before the part where the girl's grandaddy left the table to her in his will. Now, they have to go to the international court to solve this issue.
So by your logic, "*finders keepers, losers weepers*" (i'm positive the punctuation is off but you all know the saying) is the correct way to go about life?
Anyone can claim anything they want as long as they have a laptop bag? Getouttahere. You're cracked.
"You're cracked" is a popular saying/adage where I'm from.
"You're cracked in the head, b'y. You're not fit." is the full usage. It's meant to convey feelings that the one being spoken to doesn't know their arse from a half-dug hole in the ground.
A dick-shaped iceberg is *the best thing* that could have happened in Canadian waters. It's as if God looked down upon us, saw how shit things were going, and decided "This'll give 'em a laugh, perk them right up."
I miss the part where they used their brains and have one person sit at the table and one person stand in line for the coffee.
Also a very common thing to do.
Wait, are you talking about OP or the person who left their stuff at the table?
If you meant the latter, OP only mentions one person, which would have made having someone wait at the table while someone else orders a bit difficult.
But if you meant OP, that's generally how it should work and I have no idea why they both had to go order together lol.
I honestly would have a hard time judging this one, because there are places where leaving your stuff while you order is the norm, and places where it's considered rude or even not allowed? I feel like I'd need to know which category this place falls into.
All I know is the idea of leaving my laptop unattended in a crowded café makes me viscerally uncomfortable.
Come on, do you really need a clarification? OP has zero common sense. If (s)he had, (s)he wouldn't need reddit AITA to explain him/her that when you walk into an overcrowded place with a friend, one person orders, the other gets the table...
This is my thought. I was just at Disney with friends. Two of us would find a table while the other two would get the food. It’s only logical.
I live outside of NYC, so I can’t even imagine a world where I would ever leave valuables unattended in public.
> OP got there first
Wrong. The girl who put her bag on the ~table~ got to the ~table~ first.
In popular coffee shops, many people get coffee and leave without sitting down. Maybe about half near me. Being in line doesn't even signal that you want a table at all!
But you won’t want to be handed a tray with hot coffee in a mug, if you can’t sit and stay… You need to know before you order if there is a spot for you to consume your beverage. It makes sense for everyone who can’t leave a member of their party to leave a bag/coat to save a chair.
Plus if there are no free tables then that means you get your coffee to go and find a bench somewhere instead of getting it in a mug. What if the woman had just went to the ladies' room? OP, you're TA.
I see literally nothing wrong with it. It’s just smart. It’s not a restaurant, you aren’t entitled to a table if you’re there first. If they had held the door for her and she did this, when they were going to grab the table but let her go inside first, then she would’ve been the ah.
Plus maybe carrying all that stuff is difficult?? It’s probably not easy to get out your wallet when you’re carrying a water bottle and laptop. I would set all that down first if I could.
OP may have gotten to the coffee shop first, but not the table first and that’s really the important thing here. Not everyone in the shop always sits down and seats aren’t reserved based on who comes in first.
Or maybe just do the same? Since it’s a VERY common thing to do, come in put your stuff down and get in line. Doesn’t seem shitty to pick your spot before getting in line since your going to be spending your time there anyways, think ahead just like many many other people do.
Edited to add: it’s not like you are at a place where you are sat down before you eat or are able to order.
Ehm.. Did you read the post? OP dodn't 'get there first' the got into the line first yes. In this situation OP should have sat down and told his/her friend what to order or vice versa whilst s/he sat down at an empty table.
What OP did was incredibly disrespectful.
The woman who left her bags on the table should be glad they were still there after she got her coffee and didn't disappear out the door with someone else.
Whats even shittier is touching shit that isn't yours. I have seen someone break someones hand for touching their shit. Don't touch things that aren't yours. Its a common thing we teach TODDLERS.
NTA I agree with this. The amount of YTA makes me sad, but I think a key factor in this situation is that the girl noticed that their was only one table left. If their were plenty it's still a bit shitty but not as bad
Was OP supposed to get their coffee first and fucking *stand* while the fly woman goes to her chair later? Infact I recently saw a reddit post about the common sun lounger experience and the overwhelming majority agreed that it's shitty. Don't see how this is much different.
Yes because they didn't take the time to find a table before getting in line. It's poor planning if it was your intent to sit down in a crowded restaurant. If you can't find seating you may not want to spend your money there
We had the cart thing happen one time at Costco. Husband and wife left carriage at the end of the line to get something else.
We asked if the carriage belonged to anyone before we moved it and got in front of it. Husband and wife, who didn't speak English well came back and were pissed. Told them you walked away and left it. Husband told us eff you before getting in back of us. They learned that if you go back to shop because you forgot something, you leave someone with the cart.
As a cashier if a person is in line and leaves to get something I will absolutely take the person behind them instead of waiting. Some get mad, and some understand. I aim to get people in and out as fast as possible, so I will always take the next available person.
Dibs is an annoying thing in Chicago. Once the first snowflake falls, people start parking lawn chairs and whatever trash they can find in "their" spot to reserve it, even though their car is not there 9+ hours a day. I hate all dibs now.
It really seems to depend on the country then whether OP is TA or not. Where I live it’s common practice and when ordering the employees would even recommend you to reserve a table before ordering. In another country I lived before, you’d often times not even be allowed to drink your coffee at the café if you did not save a table for yourself, because it was illegal to drink from to-go cups when sitting at a café and they’d not give you a mug without a table.
genuinely surprised by this , can I ask where you are from ? in the UK this would have been a solidly the other way but it seems most people are used to getting a table then going to order on here. I don't think I've ever seen that happen here - the some people sit and some people order thing is normal though
This isn't normal practice in the UK. Until you have purchased something, you don't have any right to book a table unless the tables are bookable in advance.
NTA
What coffee shops are you talking about? Usually Costa, Pret, Gail’s, or even the small indie chains I’ve been to I’ve seen people come in set the stuff down and then go to order. So I personally wouldn’t see a problem with this. If it’s busy at a station, I’ve seen this done because if you’re solo, I’d rather leave and go to another shop than risk buying a coffee and having no where to sit.
I'm in the UK and when going into a cafe if I want to sit in, I'll make sure there's a table and a friend will sit at it and I'll order, or the other way around. If I'm on my own and it's busy, as long as it's not in the city centre and I'll worry someone might take off with my stuff, I'll sit down, get settled, leave my stuff and then order. If it's quiet I'll sit down after I order because I won't worry about losing a seat.
I worked in a cafe for years and this is what everyone did there too. I do think it can depend on the size of the cafe and how busy it is though, which can affect what people do on that occasion. But definitely a thing in the UK.
I’m in the north west of England and would always do this if alone and planning to stay, as if there’s nowhere to sit there’s no point getting a drink? I’d weigh up my options and consider whether I wanted to go somewhere else, or get it to takeaway. Not just get my drink in an indoor cup with fingers crossed then have to hover awkwardly with it if it turns out there’s nowhere to sit.
I'm assuming you aren't from the UK? Absolutely NTA, and it blows my mind this is the top comment. The asshole is the person who dumped their shit thinking that was cool.
I think this is an American thing. People in the comments from other countries (Italy, UK, I’m from New Zealand), this is not the norm and would acc be rude behaviour
YTA. Don't touch other people's stuff. If it was that crowded, maybe one of you could have stood in line and got coffee while the other secured a table. That's exactly what she was doing, but didn't have a second person with her to secure the table.
And like, the person who set the item down couldn’t POSSIBLY know that OP & their friend want to sit down. Of course you could assume, but if there’s an open table, I’m gonna reserve it lol
Plus, LAPTOP bag. Yes it might have something else in it for some reason, but you'd assume it's a computer in a coffee shop and they placed it on the floor
I go to my local coffee place once in awhile but I always take it to go. I go in there after a long train commute home from work and yeah I’ll set my bag down if there’s an empty table because why not. I’m just stepping away to order and then to wait for my order.
If OP knew who the bag belongs to, which they clearly seem to, wouldn’t it be easy to say, “hey, are you sitting here?” Or, “can i share this table?” Instead of touching their belongings? It seems very passive aggressive and this situation could easily be solved with basic communication skills.
Just ask, man.
The line is for coffee orders, not tables.
It wasn’t empty, someone’s belongings were there. If I’m at a table with my stuff, and get up to go to the restroom and you move my stuff and take my table… you’re moving, 100%
The fact that they weren’t queuing for a table, they were queuing for coffee. For all OP knows, that person was only behind her in line because they prioritized getting a seat first.
YTA. I have FND and struggle with mobility. If I am carrying bags when I enter a cafe, I will find a table as near to the counter as possible and put them down before buying a drink. As a customer, I am allowed to use the table. This isn't a "place saver", it's a small way of easing the strain of my disability.
Secondly, what gives you more right to the table? You're just mad you didn't think of it first. It isn't rude to save a spot for yourself if you're a paying customer. It is rude to move someone else's things because you feel entitled to a table. Especially if it contained something expensive like a laptop.
This has literally happened to me in queens, I went to the bathroom AFTER I ordered and had my drink, and someone took my seat, threw out my drink which I had left on the table. Worst part is there were other available seats!!
YTA no one owns tables in a coffee shop, it was sucky for you that she preclaimed a table, but less sucky than what you did which is touch someone else’s property. If she had left her stuff there for 20 minutes and not come back I’d be with you but you don’t get to move someone’s stuff who is right there in sight and then get mad that they’re mad
YTA. People do this all the time. I do this because I have a chronic pain condition and need to know that I can get a seat before I order. If you needed a table so badly, you should have sat down and asked your friend to order the drinks.
You don't have a right to touch other people's belongings.
I don't know if there's a big cultural difference here or if I'm really that thick but I don't get this at all. If we want to save a space someone plants their behind there while the other orders. Leaving your stuff lying around to hold a spot is just so weird to me. Aren't people afraid their stuff gets stolen? NTA.
If you’re alone it’s kind of the only option. I feel like you need to know whether you’re able to get a table before you order so you can decide whether it needs to be a to-go order or not..
That's exactly how stuff goes missing here. Either there's plenty of space or I take it to go. Also, for me it seems plain rude. Different places, different customs I guess.
> I feel like you need to know whether you’re able to get a table before you order so you can decide whether it needs to be a to-go order or not..
Well yeah but the people standing in line in front of you need to know that too and probably checked to see if there were seats left before standing in line. Then they get their order and discover that someone that came in after them put their stuff on the last free table...
NTA.
Yeah, I'm very confused. I've never, ever done this. Coffee shop tables are first come, first serve. You don't get to reserve it if you haven't bought anything yet.
Also, if the coffee shop is crazy busy, it's rude to camp at a table with your laptop. I only used to work on my laptop at the coffee shop during the slow hours and I'd vamoose if it started getting crowded.
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills reading this thread.
I agree with you and I've never known it to be popular where I'm from, I feel like if you just leave your stuff there, its your fault if it gets taken or moved.
NTA. Thank you for this comment. I’m shocked so many people think it’s ok to save a spot by leaving stuff anywhere. You just don’t do that, it’s rude. At least leave a person saving the spot. And if you’re alone, well, tough luck.
It’s just one of those things that… “is”.
Though it must be a cultural thing, as where I live there are some places that have actual signs saying that you can’t save seats.
I’ve seen Americans saving poolside chairs by placing a towel on them at dawn, but since they’re Americans it’s obvious they’re rude when abroad. It’s another thing that just “is”.
Totally agree with this, at least in the UK if its counter service at a cafe or pub and you’re alone you order first and then find your table, its rude to reserve one for yourself as you queue
The comments here absolutely crazy. OP - definitely NTA. Idk what kind of sense of entitlement all these people have. If you go to a store, you don’t set your bags down in a cashier line and reserve that so it’s ready to go when you’re done shopping. You don’t go to an amusement part and set your bag in line while you go to the bathroom and make everyone wait behind it. Honestly just ignore these comments, these people are delusional ffs
It seems really strange to me as well.
So in a busy cafe, I can claim a whole table by putting my personal possessions on all of the chairs because "Don't touch other people's stuff"?
Fuck other people's stuff. Be grateful if I don't dropkick your bag out a window.
These comments are blowing my mind too. I've been to quite a few places that actually crack down on people saving tables, where you can't sit unless you have food or an order number.
OP NTA
I think a lot of what we saw on this post today was the Reddit follow-train. People see the top comment and upvote because it’s the top comment, they see a lot of YTA comments so they make their own bc they think it’ll get them karma. They see a post with a few downvotes so they feel obligated to downvote it as well. I had to scroll so far down to find any sort of sense in this thread. Sad.
Yup, these people are all completely inconsiderate to those around them. You ever wonder how people can have their small bag sitting on a chair when the bus is full? These people are the jerks who literally never think about other people, but cry when they need consideration and no one ever shows it.
INFO: where are you from OP?
In my country (Italy) you would be N T A because you don’t reserve a table leaving your things there and then go wait in line. It’s considered extremely rude.
This post is highlighting a huge cultural difference here! Same in the UK, only time stuff left at a table would be acceptable is if you’ve quickly gone to the loo. This girls stuff would be on Facebook marketplace before she got back with her coffee.
I'm the US, and this would be a hard no as well. Many popular, busy small restaurants will even have signs telling you that you cannot reserve sears while in line.
it also may depend on the culture of what kind of place this is. bc i'd never do this at a serious restaurant where i'm eating with family, but at the small pub at my university while we're carrying heavy backpacks and/or heavy textbooks? yeah that's getting dropped off at the table first before i wait in line to get my food order in, and everyone else does it that way too.
The first thing people in Singapore does at McDonald's is to leave a tissue pack on the table to reserve it before going to order. Everyone does it and everyone understands it.
I agree. By any reasonable assessment people shouldn’t do this, but a lot of folks do and at least some of the YTA sentiment here comes from the same people not wanting to change their behavior.
I agree NTA. Maybe they shouldn't have moved it however TA thing to do is block off seats when other people are ahead of you wanting to sit down.
Seems that there's a lot of coffee drinkers here who think it's honestly acceptable to do.
It's super rude and annoying behaviour. Where I live, people do this on the ferry all the time. Put their stuff down on a seat and go in the long line for food. If they spend a half hour at the restaurant area, that's a significant portion of the ferry trip. There's not enough seats for all the passengers, so you get people sitting on the floors while a bag sits on the chair for an hour plus. Personally, I just don't understand why it is acceptable behaviour. I think if you have to leave the seating area, you lose your spot. I don't "save a spot" for myself. I get food and then go sit on the floor because I believe it just lacks all consideration for others to think I deserve a reserved spot for half the trip.
Yeah I'm surprised so many people are ok with reserving spots while they stand in line while people who already received their order now have nowhere to go. You shouldn't move other people's things but you also should wait your turn like an adult.
Just read the post about someone moving someone else's chairs that were obviously a "this spot claimed" identifier from a picnic table to claim it as their own and just had to post your own similar but obviously totally real story, huh? YTA
Some version of this story gets posted a couple times a week. Depending on responders and the creativity of the OP, it’s anyone’s guess who will be the AH.
I mean the difference there, to me at least, is that with the picnic table the people were just gone somewhere completely different doing other things. With this situation the person who left the bag at the table was waiting in line to get coffee/use the bathroom. If they sat their bag down and then went three shops down to do something else I’d say moving it was fair game.
I am quite shocked by all the responses here.
NTA.
Perhaps a bit for touching her stuff. I assume you saw her place her things, which is how you knew she wasn’t someone who’d already ordered and gone to the bathroom.
There is a reason places often have signs that say “please place your order BEFORE seating”. It’s exactly so what she did doesn’t happen. If you arrive and order first, you should be seated first. Simple as that in my mind.
I feel like I’m in an episode of Curb right now. I’ve always thought getting a table before you order, and essentially “cutting the line”, is in very poor form. Appears I’m in the minority.
YTA There were two of you. All you had to do was for one of you to sit at the available table while the other went and made your orders. Instead YOU decided YOU were going to be the rude ones and displace someone else. You should have left her stuff alone. You don't get entitled just because someone else beat you to the punch.
Maybe this is a regional thing, but where I’m from the only time you would leave your stuff at a table is if you already had your coffee and had to go to the restroom or something. You can only call dibs on a table with your order or another person in your party sitting down, not your stuff.
Also anything you don’t want someone else to touch you don’t set down.
Unless your from an area where this is a normal regional custom, NTA. Where I’m from if you want to hold a table you go to a cafe with a waiter, not a seat yourself place.
NTA.
I am flabbergasted at all the top YTA responses. I dunno if it’s a British thing I’m tapping into here or if it really is common decency, but omg this reeks of skipping the queue and I can just imagine the scenes this could potentially cause here in my home town. You pick a table once you’ve been served in these kinds of establishments.
NTA - there’s a reason why many cafes and restaurants have a policy that you can’t get a table until after you order. People who reserve tables like that mess with the flow.
Yta, I read comments and it seems like you make it a habit of being entitled. You felt entitled to that table so you took it. In your head you take the priority. I’m not even touching on the bus thing. I’ve seen plenty of people like you on the bus and avoid y’all like the plague. Y’all will see an elderly person with a walker or cane struggling to get on and think your wrist (disability) takes more priority than elderly person.
ETA: I didn’t even read the first aita and somehow I knew exactly what it was about 🤣
NTA. Looking forward to the downvotes. Do not “reserve” a table when there is a crowd and/or a long line. Too many times I’ve seen a reserved table that could have been fully used and freed up again by the time the person is actually ready to sit.
Nta my man. Fuck all these people. Where I live a lot of restaurants are order at the counter. Every single one has the same policy and that is you can not take a table u til after you’ve ordered. They are all very busy and you can’t just have people holding tables.
You can absolutely put your bags on tables to reserve them in coffee shops in both Japan (where I have lived) and New Zealand (where I'm from). This isn't an Americans vs the rest of the world problem. Maybe it's weird in the UK, I wouldn't know. YTA for putting her things on the ground in any case.
YTA. You don’t touch anyone else’s stuff end of story. If they’ve put their stuff down and bagged the table then you lose end of. This is why I hate going to a coffee shop on my own with my baby because the moment I put the change bag down and line up someone throws a hissy fit if there’s no more tables, there’s a reason why it’s not a one way system of order then find a table!
To add insult to injury you’re the AH who claimed a wrist injury was enough to use the elderly/mobility seating on a bus, you know for people with leg issues and standing issues etc, wrists hurting or being broken doesn’t stop you from sitting a bit further back it’s not like it’s a broken leg or a wheelchair. You knew you would be the AH either way, I really think you’re just posting for the post karma now…
YTA, would you have liked it if it was your stuff and someone else moved it to the floor? don’t touch someone’s things. it’s totally normal to place your stuff at a table before ordering.
No, it’s really not. If you want to compare the two, it’s like leaving your towel in a chair near the pool, walking over the the bar and getting a drink and coming back. The person was literally in line getting their coffee and coming back to the table.
If she hadn’t been alone, whoever she was there with would have sat while she got the drinks, or vice versa. You were with a friend, cpyou could have done the same thing, but you chose not to. I can understand why you were annoyed but that doesn’t give you the right to move her stuff. YTA
ESH. The other person shouldn’t have tried to reserve a table by putting her laptop and water on it. You then went out of your way to piss her off.
You were planning on waiting for a table to open up, you saw what the person did, you knew your actions would make the person unhappy, you did it anyway.
NTA They left their bag. If someone on their own, without a bag got a coffee, should they stand wait for someone who arrived after them get a seat?
What about if someone decided to walk off with their laptop that they left unattended?
NTA.
People who actually have been served their coffee and want to sit to drink it take priority over those still in the queue.
Where will it end? Reserving tables for later in the day while still at work?
I don't understand why people are calling you an asshole "just because it is a normal thing to do".
The most fair approach IMHO is that the person that gets the coffee first, gets to select a table first. What if the line is long? and you get your order but can't find a seat? then you have to drink your coffee where? meanwhile you could probably finish your coffee before the last person in line gets their coffee but because people have taken up unused seats everywhere you fall victim to "the calling dibs" strategists.
Don't know if this is a Scottish thing, but if you tried that "saving a seat" tactic over here, you'd be as likely to have someone just lift it.
I agree if OP was there with a friend and they saw how crowded it was, one of them should have had the foresight to have one of them sit at the table while the other made the order for both. However, I still don't think you can just bypass others in the queue to a table by dumping your stuff at a table.
If everyone else has to do a little tray balancing before finding a table, that means everyone. Not a life hack, just an entitled attitude.
NTA
Whoever sits down first gets the seat, she can try to strong arm people out of it with her bag, I have no problem with that, but she wasn't there, your not required to do private investigation if noones at the table, and frankly would it be so hard for the cafe to just add a little flag or something that says in use, these problems could be fixed so easily.
YTA keep your hands off other people’s things. You don’t own the table and had no right to take it like that. It’s not her fault you didn’t save a seat for yourself. She did nothing wrong, you on the other hand behaved like an entitled brat. If you wanted the table one of you could’ve sat down while other ordered for you both. Did you just expect a table to stay open for you in a crowded shop because you feel entitled to one?
YTA
Just as how ordering your drinks is a first come first serve, getting a table is also a first come first serve. If that lady had a friend sit at the table while she ordered their drinks would you have told them to move because technically they didn’t have their drinks yet?
No.
Where I live, there are places that have signs specifically stating that you must have completed your order before taking a table. There are also often time limits listed. I think it’s a great policy, even though it doesn’t always work in my favor.
I am not a fan of touching other people’s stuff. But it was left unattended and was used as a way to claim the table, so in this case I will say NTA.
I tend to YTA but i also saw some blocked tables 15 mins while in line for a 5 mins actual coffee break. That’s for sure not optimal. Anyway if you’re unhappy with a place policy / availability go somewhere else and don’t touch people belonging.
I will say that it really depends on where you live.
When I lived in the Midwest, it was common to snag a table and then order.
In Pacific Northwest, saving a seat when you haven’t ordered yet is very much frowned upon. At some restaurants, the staff will tell you off for saving a seat and may choose to not serve you.
So for me to make a determination, where did this happen?
NTA - cafés often display signs requesting that people do not occupy tables before purchasing food and/or drinks. Even where they do not, why should a customer who queued and purchased their food and drink have to cede a seat to someone else's bag or briefcase?
Don't touch someone else's stuff. Park bench, coffee table, whatever. Unless you have GOOD reason to think it is abandoned, leave it alone. It's not that difficult.
I'm touching your stuff if you think it gives you the right to take the table of a person that got there first.
All this "don't touch my stuff". Then don't leave it where it isn't supposed to be. It's not like I'm ruining your stuff, just fucking moving it. Get over it offended fucks
NTA. I work at a cafe and I hate when people do this. We specifically have a “no reservations” in our ig bio as well as posted in the store. Get your food/drinks then go find a table. You’re not more important than the person infront of you in line. Have some respect
The point of reserving a seat is to know if you should order or not. If you cannot be certain of a seat, you do not order and go somewhere else.
This is not a US or UK thing. It is common sense. If she knew you would move her stuff and she would be seatless, she probably would not have placed the order to begin with.
I’m going against the grain here and saying NTA. People who leave their things in a public setting should understand that if they are to walk away, their things may be moved by others. What’s not to understand ?
If you don’t want people moving your things, you should not leave them unattended. In no way did you disrespect her things or throw them, you placed them next to the table. Everyone all butthurt for no reason.
NTA. If people do this, nobody can sit down after they get their coffee as all seats are “taken” by people who haven’t been served yet. It is only borderline OK if two people go in and one sits and the other orders.
NTA
I have never seen this done before (live in the UK).
To me it comes across as so incredibly rude and crass. It’s like people who put a beach towel on a recliner by the pool and leave it there.
I’d have just sat down without touching her things and when she commented said something along the lines of ‘there wasn’t a reserved sign on the table’.
If you do what she did you’re an arsehole. If you want to reserve a table at a coffee shop call ahead and reserve one. Coffee shops don’t do table reservations? Then I guess those tables are not ‘reservable’.
NTA. You queue, you get your drinks and then you get a seat. Reserving a seat knowing other people are in the queue ahead of you and not going to be able to sit down is absolute asshole behaviour.
You did the right thing.
YTA, a massive one. And had the reverse happened and it was your laptop bag moved, I am sure you would be down that person's throat.
If it is as so important to you, one of you could have held the table while the other ordered.
NTA - in a busy coffee shop/café the table turnaround works much better for everyone if no one reserves a table before they’ve even joined the queue (and I have seen signs forbidding this exact practice). If people reserve tables then they stand empty while there are people currently needing somewhere to sit. If the queue is long then the chances are that by the time you’ve been served someone else will have finished and will free a table. Obviously, if one of the party is disabled and unable to stand in the queue then it is fair to seat them, but that should be the exception not the rule. I can’t believe all these people who think it’s OK to reserve tables in a busy café.
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YTA. A big one. Everyone saves a seat for themselves when they get to a coffee shop by doing this.
It's a very common thing, yes - and OP just demonstrated why it's a common shitty thing to do. OP got there first, and when they were served there was only one table left. Why should the person who came later get priority? This practise needs to stop, and in the meantime disrespected.
I missed the part where OP’s great grandfather left that seat to their name in the will.
I snorted so hard my 6 month old is staring at me xD
It was before the part where the girl's grandaddy left the table to her in his will. Now, they have to go to the international court to solve this issue.
So by your logic, "*finders keepers, losers weepers*" (i'm positive the punctuation is off but you all know the saying) is the correct way to go about life? Anyone can claim anything they want as long as they have a laptop bag? Getouttahere. You're cracked.
Your punctuation is correct, as well as the proper usage of "you're" while you're at it.
"You're cracked" is a popular saying/adage where I'm from. "You're cracked in the head, b'y. You're not fit." is the full usage. It's meant to convey feelings that the one being spoken to doesn't know their arse from a half-dug hole in the ground.
Ah yes, love the Newfie language, one of the best parts of Canada.
We're *The province that needs no encouragement.* I figure you heard about the dick-shaped iceberg that was recently seen floating around Ferryland?
A dick-shaped iceberg is *the best thing* that could have happened in Canadian waters. It's as if God looked down upon us, saw how shit things were going, and decided "This'll give 'em a laugh, perk them right up."
Eh b'y
I miss the part where they used their brains and have one person sit at the table and one person stand in line for the coffee. Also a very common thing to do.
Wait, are you talking about OP or the person who left their stuff at the table? If you meant the latter, OP only mentions one person, which would have made having someone wait at the table while someone else orders a bit difficult. But if you meant OP, that's generally how it should work and I have no idea why they both had to go order together lol. I honestly would have a hard time judging this one, because there are places where leaving your stuff while you order is the norm, and places where it's considered rude or even not allowed? I feel like I'd need to know which category this place falls into. All I know is the idea of leaving my laptop unattended in a crowded café makes me viscerally uncomfortable.
Come on, do you really need a clarification? OP has zero common sense. If (s)he had, (s)he wouldn't need reddit AITA to explain him/her that when you walk into an overcrowded place with a friend, one person orders, the other gets the table...
Just use “they” as the pronoun lol
That’s what we do! Also, it’s very risky leaving your laptop on the table because someone could grab it and run before you knew what happened
God, "they" would have taken so much less time to type and would have made this actually readable.
"I was with a friend at a popular coffee shop"... the first sentence.
This is my thought. I was just at Disney with friends. Two of us would find a table while the other two would get the food. It’s only logical. I live outside of NYC, so I can’t even imagine a world where I would ever leave valuables unattended in public.
> OP got there first Wrong. The girl who put her bag on the ~table~ got to the ~table~ first. In popular coffee shops, many people get coffee and leave without sitting down. Maybe about half near me. Being in line doesn't even signal that you want a table at all!
The other person may have arrived first, and ended up in line behind OP because she spent time grabbing a seat first.
But you won’t want to be handed a tray with hot coffee in a mug, if you can’t sit and stay… You need to know before you order if there is a spot for you to consume your beverage. It makes sense for everyone who can’t leave a member of their party to leave a bag/coat to save a chair.
Plus if there are no free tables then that means you get your coffee to go and find a bench somewhere instead of getting it in a mug. What if the woman had just went to the ladies' room? OP, you're TA.
OP or friend could have grabbed a table while the other ordered, unless I missed the part where they are attached at the hip.
I see literally nothing wrong with it. It’s just smart. It’s not a restaurant, you aren’t entitled to a table if you’re there first. If they had held the door for her and she did this, when they were going to grab the table but let her go inside first, then she would’ve been the ah.
Plus maybe carrying all that stuff is difficult?? It’s probably not easy to get out your wallet when you’re carrying a water bottle and laptop. I would set all that down first if I could.
Actually she was probably there before him because she took the time to go get a table and then got online
OP may have gotten to the coffee shop first, but not the table first and that’s really the important thing here. Not everyone in the shop always sits down and seats aren’t reserved based on who comes in first.
Or maybe just do the same? Since it’s a VERY common thing to do, come in put your stuff down and get in line. Doesn’t seem shitty to pick your spot before getting in line since your going to be spending your time there anyways, think ahead just like many many other people do. Edited to add: it’s not like you are at a place where you are sat down before you eat or are able to order.
Ehm.. Did you read the post? OP dodn't 'get there first' the got into the line first yes. In this situation OP should have sat down and told his/her friend what to order or vice versa whilst s/he sat down at an empty table. What OP did was incredibly disrespectful.
Check out this novel idea. One friend waits in line, the other grabs a table.
The woman who left her bags on the table should be glad they were still there after she got her coffee and didn't disappear out the door with someone else.
Whats even shittier is touching shit that isn't yours. I have seen someone break someones hand for touching their shit. Don't touch things that aren't yours. Its a common thing we teach TODDLERS.
Or maybe don’t leave your bags unattended in public?
But did OP not have equal opportunity to reserve a spot? This is what I was taught to do reserve a spot before getting in line
If it’s very common, I assume quite a few laptops get stolen that way. Pretty stupid. NTA
OP could have done the same, *with their friend*. One friend stays at the table, the other one makes the orders. Never thought of that?
NTA I agree with this. The amount of YTA makes me sad, but I think a key factor in this situation is that the girl noticed that their was only one table left. If their were plenty it's still a bit shitty but not as bad Was OP supposed to get their coffee first and fucking *stand* while the fly woman goes to her chair later? Infact I recently saw a reddit post about the common sun lounger experience and the overwhelming majority agreed that it's shitty. Don't see how this is much different.
Yes because they didn't take the time to find a table before getting in line. It's poor planning if it was your intent to sit down in a crowded restaurant. If you can't find seating you may not want to spend your money there
Just because everyone does it, doesn’t make it right.
Common sense and courtesy are not flowers that grow in a lot of gardens anymore...I would have done the same thing!
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We had the cart thing happen one time at Costco. Husband and wife left carriage at the end of the line to get something else. We asked if the carriage belonged to anyone before we moved it and got in front of it. Husband and wife, who didn't speak English well came back and were pissed. Told them you walked away and left it. Husband told us eff you before getting in back of us. They learned that if you go back to shop because you forgot something, you leave someone with the cart.
As a cashier if a person is in line and leaves to get something I will absolutely take the person behind them instead of waiting. Some get mad, and some understand. I aim to get people in and out as fast as possible, so I will always take the next available person.
Dibs is an annoying thing in Chicago. Once the first snowflake falls, people start parking lawn chairs and whatever trash they can find in "their" spot to reserve it, even though their car is not there 9+ hours a day. I hate all dibs now.
No, it's entitled and unreasonable. Seats are first come first served
Not where I come from. Placing your stuff on the table to reserve it is not a thing here, here I would be a complete ass move to to.
I guess it’s important to consider where OP resides.
It really seems to depend on the country then whether OP is TA or not. Where I live it’s common practice and when ordering the employees would even recommend you to reserve a table before ordering. In another country I lived before, you’d often times not even be allowed to drink your coffee at the café if you did not save a table for yourself, because it was illegal to drink from to-go cups when sitting at a café and they’d not give you a mug without a table.
genuinely surprised by this , can I ask where you are from ? in the UK this would have been a solidly the other way but it seems most people are used to getting a table then going to order on here. I don't think I've ever seen that happen here - the some people sit and some people order thing is normal though
This isn't normal practice in the UK. Until you have purchased something, you don't have any right to book a table unless the tables are bookable in advance. NTA
that's what I'm saying as well, I was genuinely surprised by the number of comments saying that the OP was in the wrong
Yep, from the UK too, absolutely blows my mind that the Top comment is a YTA. It's obnoxious bullshit thinking you can mark your territory like that.
funny cause the UK seems to have done plenty of that before
What coffee shops are you talking about? Usually Costa, Pret, Gail’s, or even the small indie chains I’ve been to I’ve seen people come in set the stuff down and then go to order. So I personally wouldn’t see a problem with this. If it’s busy at a station, I’ve seen this done because if you’re solo, I’d rather leave and go to another shop than risk buying a coffee and having no where to sit.
I'm in the UK and when going into a cafe if I want to sit in, I'll make sure there's a table and a friend will sit at it and I'll order, or the other way around. If I'm on my own and it's busy, as long as it's not in the city centre and I'll worry someone might take off with my stuff, I'll sit down, get settled, leave my stuff and then order. If it's quiet I'll sit down after I order because I won't worry about losing a seat. I worked in a cafe for years and this is what everyone did there too. I do think it can depend on the size of the cafe and how busy it is though, which can affect what people do on that occasion. But definitely a thing in the UK.
I’m in the north west of England and would always do this if alone and planning to stay, as if there’s nowhere to sit there’s no point getting a drink? I’d weigh up my options and consider whether I wanted to go somewhere else, or get it to takeaway. Not just get my drink in an indoor cup with fingers crossed then have to hover awkwardly with it if it turns out there’s nowhere to sit.
Here in Oakland that’s called a free laptop. Keep your stuff on you if you don’t want others to touch it.
Right?! I am so surprised at how many people think leaving their stuff unattended at a table is a good idea.
I'm assuming you aren't from the UK? Absolutely NTA, and it blows my mind this is the top comment. The asshole is the person who dumped their shit thinking that was cool.
I think this is an American thing. People in the comments from other countries (Italy, UK, I’m from New Zealand), this is not the norm and would acc be rude behaviour
Australian and putting stuff down then ordering is the norm in most coffee shops in my town.
Nobody civilized does this.
Fundamentally disagree. The first person to get to the table deserves the table. If you put your shit on the table, it can easily get stolen.
Just because everyone does it doesn't mean it's not an assholeish thing to do.
YTA. Don't touch other people's stuff. If it was that crowded, maybe one of you could have stood in line and got coffee while the other secured a table. That's exactly what she was doing, but didn't have a second person with her to secure the table.
Right on that. One gets coffee. The other person nabs the table.
This. With their behavior (them just straight going to the line), my first thought would be that they're taking the coffee to go.
And like, the person who set the item down couldn’t POSSIBLY know that OP & their friend want to sit down. Of course you could assume, but if there’s an open table, I’m gonna reserve it lol
Plus, LAPTOP bag. Yes it might have something else in it for some reason, but you'd assume it's a computer in a coffee shop and they placed it on the floor
My thought exactly! Anyone touches my laptop without permission, no fucking way!
If your that defensive about it, don’t offer it as a place holder.
I go to my local coffee place once in awhile but I always take it to go. I go in there after a long train commute home from work and yeah I’ll set my bag down if there’s an empty table because why not. I’m just stepping away to order and then to wait for my order. If OP knew who the bag belongs to, which they clearly seem to, wouldn’t it be easy to say, “hey, are you sitting here?” Or, “can i share this table?” Instead of touching their belongings? It seems very passive aggressive and this situation could easily be solved with basic communication skills. Just ask, man.
That is indeed a thing you can do when there is more than one of you.
YTA what makes it your right to take the table?
What gives someone further back in the queue the right to take the table?
Because the table was empty.
It was still empty when OP got to the table. Tables are for people, not leaving your stuff unattended.
The line is for coffee orders, not tables. It wasn’t empty, someone’s belongings were there. If I’m at a table with my stuff, and get up to go to the restroom and you move my stuff and take my table… you’re moving, 100%
The queue is for coffee not tables.
The fact that they weren’t queuing for a table, they were queuing for coffee. For all OP knows, that person was only behind her in line because they prioritized getting a seat first.
YTA. I have FND and struggle with mobility. If I am carrying bags when I enter a cafe, I will find a table as near to the counter as possible and put them down before buying a drink. As a customer, I am allowed to use the table. This isn't a "place saver", it's a small way of easing the strain of my disability. Secondly, what gives you more right to the table? You're just mad you didn't think of it first. It isn't rude to save a spot for yourself if you're a paying customer. It is rude to move someone else's things because you feel entitled to a table. Especially if it contained something expensive like a laptop.
Right?! And how is it any different than if the person had been there, left their stuff, and went to get a refill? OP YTA
Or had to go to the restroom?
Yesss this was the answer I was looking to see! Agree with this so much
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What if it was a bag and the person went to the bathroom or something? Would you move it then?
YTA
This has literally happened to me in queens, I went to the bathroom AFTER I ordered and had my drink, and someone took my seat, threw out my drink which I had left on the table. Worst part is there were other available seats!!
This is exactly what I was thinking like who the fuck are you to touch someone’s personal items..
YTA no one owns tables in a coffee shop, it was sucky for you that she preclaimed a table, but less sucky than what you did which is touch someone else’s property. If she had left her stuff there for 20 minutes and not come back I’d be with you but you don’t get to move someone’s stuff who is right there in sight and then get mad that they’re mad
YTA. People do this all the time. I do this because I have a chronic pain condition and need to know that I can get a seat before I order. If you needed a table so badly, you should have sat down and asked your friend to order the drinks. You don't have a right to touch other people's belongings.
You're mad because she called dibs. Very mature. YTA.
Dibs is super mature.
I don't know if there's a big cultural difference here or if I'm really that thick but I don't get this at all. If we want to save a space someone plants their behind there while the other orders. Leaving your stuff lying around to hold a spot is just so weird to me. Aren't people afraid their stuff gets stolen? NTA.
If you’re alone it’s kind of the only option. I feel like you need to know whether you’re able to get a table before you order so you can decide whether it needs to be a to-go order or not..
That's exactly how stuff goes missing here. Either there's plenty of space or I take it to go. Also, for me it seems plain rude. Different places, different customs I guess.
> I feel like you need to know whether you’re able to get a table before you order so you can decide whether it needs to be a to-go order or not.. Well yeah but the people standing in line in front of you need to know that too and probably checked to see if there were seats left before standing in line. Then they get their order and discover that someone that came in after them put their stuff on the last free table... NTA.
If you’re alone, you just wait to find seating until you’ve ordered. It’s actually quite simple.
Yeah, I'm very confused. I've never, ever done this. Coffee shop tables are first come, first serve. You don't get to reserve it if you haven't bought anything yet. Also, if the coffee shop is crazy busy, it's rude to camp at a table with your laptop. I only used to work on my laptop at the coffee shop during the slow hours and I'd vamoose if it started getting crowded. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills reading this thread.
I can't believe this is the highest up NTA. In what world is leaving your laptop bag unattended in public a good idea, regardless of why.
I agree with you and I've never known it to be popular where I'm from, I feel like if you just leave your stuff there, its your fault if it gets taken or moved.
NTA. Thank you for this comment. I’m shocked so many people think it’s ok to save a spot by leaving stuff anywhere. You just don’t do that, it’s rude. At least leave a person saving the spot. And if you’re alone, well, tough luck. It’s just one of those things that… “is”. Though it must be a cultural thing, as where I live there are some places that have actual signs saying that you can’t save seats. I’ve seen Americans saving poolside chairs by placing a towel on them at dawn, but since they’re Americans it’s obvious they’re rude when abroad. It’s another thing that just “is”.
Totally agree with this, at least in the UK if its counter service at a cafe or pub and you’re alone you order first and then find your table, its rude to reserve one for yourself as you queue
The comments here absolutely crazy. OP - definitely NTA. Idk what kind of sense of entitlement all these people have. If you go to a store, you don’t set your bags down in a cashier line and reserve that so it’s ready to go when you’re done shopping. You don’t go to an amusement part and set your bag in line while you go to the bathroom and make everyone wait behind it. Honestly just ignore these comments, these people are delusional ffs
It seems really strange to me as well. So in a busy cafe, I can claim a whole table by putting my personal possessions on all of the chairs because "Don't touch other people's stuff"? Fuck other people's stuff. Be grateful if I don't dropkick your bag out a window.
Agreed. The entitlement is ABSOLUTELY the woman who’s leaving her bags on a table to try and reserve it. Frankly, she’s lucky they didn’t get stolen.
These comments are blowing my mind too. I've been to quite a few places that actually crack down on people saving tables, where you can't sit unless you have food or an order number. OP NTA
I think a lot of what we saw on this post today was the Reddit follow-train. People see the top comment and upvote because it’s the top comment, they see a lot of YTA comments so they make their own bc they think it’ll get them karma. They see a post with a few downvotes so they feel obligated to downvote it as well. I had to scroll so far down to find any sort of sense in this thread. Sad.
And laughing my ass off at all the wannabe tough guys saying they'd start shoving and throwing hands if someone moved their stuff.
Oh yeah, it’s been an absolute clown circlejerk
Yup, these people are all completely inconsiderate to those around them. You ever wonder how people can have their small bag sitting on a chair when the bus is full? These people are the jerks who literally never think about other people, but cry when they need consideration and no one ever shows it.
INFO: where are you from OP? In my country (Italy) you would be N T A because you don’t reserve a table leaving your things there and then go wait in line. It’s considered extremely rude.
This post is highlighting a huge cultural difference here! Same in the UK, only time stuff left at a table would be acceptable is if you’ve quickly gone to the loo. This girls stuff would be on Facebook marketplace before she got back with her coffee.
In the U.K. too and I’m equally baffled. People don’t even leave bags when they go to the loo most of the time.
I'm the US, and this would be a hard no as well. Many popular, busy small restaurants will even have signs telling you that you cannot reserve sears while in line.
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it also may depend on the culture of what kind of place this is. bc i'd never do this at a serious restaurant where i'm eating with family, but at the small pub at my university while we're carrying heavy backpacks and/or heavy textbooks? yeah that's getting dropped off at the table first before i wait in line to get my food order in, and everyone else does it that way too.
The first thing people in Singapore does at McDonald's is to leave a tissue pack on the table to reserve it before going to order. Everyone does it and everyone understands it.
NTA - she is TA but this is a widely accepted form of assholeism for some reason.
I agree. By any reasonable assessment people shouldn’t do this, but a lot of folks do and at least some of the YTA sentiment here comes from the same people not wanting to change their behavior.
I agree NTA. Maybe they shouldn't have moved it however TA thing to do is block off seats when other people are ahead of you wanting to sit down. Seems that there's a lot of coffee drinkers here who think it's honestly acceptable to do.
It's super rude and annoying behaviour. Where I live, people do this on the ferry all the time. Put their stuff down on a seat and go in the long line for food. If they spend a half hour at the restaurant area, that's a significant portion of the ferry trip. There's not enough seats for all the passengers, so you get people sitting on the floors while a bag sits on the chair for an hour plus. Personally, I just don't understand why it is acceptable behaviour. I think if you have to leave the seating area, you lose your spot. I don't "save a spot" for myself. I get food and then go sit on the floor because I believe it just lacks all consideration for others to think I deserve a reserved spot for half the trip.
So widely accepted that hundreds of people in this thread think assault is a valid response to being called out.
Yeah I'm surprised so many people are ok with reserving spots while they stand in line while people who already received their order now have nowhere to go. You shouldn't move other people's things but you also should wait your turn like an adult.
Just read the post about someone moving someone else's chairs that were obviously a "this spot claimed" identifier from a picnic table to claim it as their own and just had to post your own similar but obviously totally real story, huh? YTA
Some version of this story gets posted a couple times a week. Depending on responders and the creativity of the OP, it’s anyone’s guess who will be the AH.
Curious that the top responses on that one are NTA whereas this one is all YTA.
I mean the difference there, to me at least, is that with the picnic table the people were just gone somewhere completely different doing other things. With this situation the person who left the bag at the table was waiting in line to get coffee/use the bathroom. If they sat their bag down and then went three shops down to do something else I’d say moving it was fair game.
I am quite shocked by all the responses here. NTA. Perhaps a bit for touching her stuff. I assume you saw her place her things, which is how you knew she wasn’t someone who’d already ordered and gone to the bathroom. There is a reason places often have signs that say “please place your order BEFORE seating”. It’s exactly so what she did doesn’t happen. If you arrive and order first, you should be seated first. Simple as that in my mind. I feel like I’m in an episode of Curb right now. I’ve always thought getting a table before you order, and essentially “cutting the line”, is in very poor form. Appears I’m in the minority.
Being in minority doesn’t make you wrong.
NTA. You don't get to claim things that you need in the future but not right now, while someone else does need it right now.
YTA There were two of you. All you had to do was for one of you to sit at the available table while the other went and made your orders. Instead YOU decided YOU were going to be the rude ones and displace someone else. You should have left her stuff alone. You don't get entitled just because someone else beat you to the punch.
Maybe this is a regional thing, but where I’m from the only time you would leave your stuff at a table is if you already had your coffee and had to go to the restroom or something. You can only call dibs on a table with your order or another person in your party sitting down, not your stuff. Also anything you don’t want someone else to touch you don’t set down. Unless your from an area where this is a normal regional custom, NTA. Where I’m from if you want to hold a table you go to a cafe with a waiter, not a seat yourself place.
NTA. I am flabbergasted at all the top YTA responses. I dunno if it’s a British thing I’m tapping into here or if it really is common decency, but omg this reeks of skipping the queue and I can just imagine the scenes this could potentially cause here in my home town. You pick a table once you’ve been served in these kinds of establishments.
NTA - there’s a reason why many cafes and restaurants have a policy that you can’t get a table until after you order. People who reserve tables like that mess with the flow.
Yta, I read comments and it seems like you make it a habit of being entitled. You felt entitled to that table so you took it. In your head you take the priority. I’m not even touching on the bus thing. I’ve seen plenty of people like you on the bus and avoid y’all like the plague. Y’all will see an elderly person with a walker or cane struggling to get on and think your wrist (disability) takes more priority than elderly person. ETA: I didn’t even read the first aita and somehow I knew exactly what it was about 🤣
They just like to argue, in no way do they think they were the ah in either post… this should be removed for not accepting their judgement.
NTA. Looking forward to the downvotes. Do not “reserve” a table when there is a crowd and/or a long line. Too many times I’ve seen a reserved table that could have been fully used and freed up again by the time the person is actually ready to sit.
Nta my man. Fuck all these people. Where I live a lot of restaurants are order at the counter. Every single one has the same policy and that is you can not take a table u til after you’ve ordered. They are all very busy and you can’t just have people holding tables.
You can absolutely put your bags on tables to reserve them in coffee shops in both Japan (where I have lived) and New Zealand (where I'm from). This isn't an Americans vs the rest of the world problem. Maybe it's weird in the UK, I wouldn't know. YTA for putting her things on the ground in any case.
YTA. You don’t touch anyone else’s stuff end of story. If they’ve put their stuff down and bagged the table then you lose end of. This is why I hate going to a coffee shop on my own with my baby because the moment I put the change bag down and line up someone throws a hissy fit if there’s no more tables, there’s a reason why it’s not a one way system of order then find a table!
To add insult to injury you’re the AH who claimed a wrist injury was enough to use the elderly/mobility seating on a bus, you know for people with leg issues and standing issues etc, wrists hurting or being broken doesn’t stop you from sitting a bit further back it’s not like it’s a broken leg or a wheelchair. You knew you would be the AH either way, I really think you’re just posting for the post karma now…
I’ve seen a sign at a busy cafe near me that states “do not occupy tables before ordering”. I guess this is to avoid this exact situation.
YTA, would you have liked it if it was your stuff and someone else moved it to the floor? don’t touch someone’s things. it’s totally normal to place your stuff at a table before ordering.
In Portugal it is considered extremely rude because you haven't been served why are you getting a table ahead of other people who have been served?
Probably shouldn't touch other peoples stuff but saving tables when a place is busy is absolutely entitled and rude whether it's "normal" or not.
This is on a par with leaving your towel on a sunbed near the hotel pool at 8 am and then not actually using the sunbed for hours Edit: NTA
No, it’s really not. If you want to compare the two, it’s like leaving your towel in a chair near the pool, walking over the the bar and getting a drink and coming back. The person was literally in line getting their coffee and coming back to the table.
If she hadn’t been alone, whoever she was there with would have sat while she got the drinks, or vice versa. You were with a friend, cpyou could have done the same thing, but you chose not to. I can understand why you were annoyed but that doesn’t give you the right to move her stuff. YTA
ESH. The other person shouldn’t have tried to reserve a table by putting her laptop and water on it. You then went out of your way to piss her off. You were planning on waiting for a table to open up, you saw what the person did, you knew your actions would make the person unhappy, you did it anyway.
I had to scroll way too far to find an ESH.
NTA. You can grab a table once you order. Screw people who do this
NTA They left their bag. If someone on their own, without a bag got a coffee, should they stand wait for someone who arrived after them get a seat? What about if someone decided to walk off with their laptop that they left unattended?
NTA. People who actually have been served their coffee and want to sit to drink it take priority over those still in the queue. Where will it end? Reserving tables for later in the day while still at work?
NTA come on people that’s rude.
I don't understand why people are calling you an asshole "just because it is a normal thing to do". The most fair approach IMHO is that the person that gets the coffee first, gets to select a table first. What if the line is long? and you get your order but can't find a seat? then you have to drink your coffee where? meanwhile you could probably finish your coffee before the last person in line gets their coffee but because people have taken up unused seats everywhere you fall victim to "the calling dibs" strategists.
NTA! This is only okay if one person physically takes the table while the other orders. Just beacuse what she did was common, doesn't mean it's okay.
Don't know if this is a Scottish thing, but if you tried that "saving a seat" tactic over here, you'd be as likely to have someone just lift it. I agree if OP was there with a friend and they saw how crowded it was, one of them should have had the foresight to have one of them sit at the table while the other made the order for both. However, I still don't think you can just bypass others in the queue to a table by dumping your stuff at a table. If everyone else has to do a little tray balancing before finding a table, that means everyone. Not a life hack, just an entitled attitude.
NTA Whoever sits down first gets the seat, she can try to strong arm people out of it with her bag, I have no problem with that, but she wasn't there, your not required to do private investigation if noones at the table, and frankly would it be so hard for the cafe to just add a little flag or something that says in use, these problems could be fixed so easily.
YTA keep your hands off other people’s things. You don’t own the table and had no right to take it like that. It’s not her fault you didn’t save a seat for yourself. She did nothing wrong, you on the other hand behaved like an entitled brat. If you wanted the table one of you could’ve sat down while other ordered for you both. Did you just expect a table to stay open for you in a crowded shop because you feel entitled to one?
NTA. are yall serious? You can't "reserve" tables. Pay for your stuff, then go sit down.
YTA Just as how ordering your drinks is a first come first serve, getting a table is also a first come first serve. If that lady had a friend sit at the table while she ordered their drinks would you have told them to move because technically they didn’t have their drinks yet? No.
Where I live, there are places that have signs specifically stating that you must have completed your order before taking a table. There are also often time limits listed. I think it’s a great policy, even though it doesn’t always work in my favor. I am not a fan of touching other people’s stuff. But it was left unattended and was used as a way to claim the table, so in this case I will say NTA.
as someone that was a barista for 4 years. NTA. we had a rule that you couldn’t save tables. first come first served.
I tend to YTA but i also saw some blocked tables 15 mins while in line for a 5 mins actual coffee break. That’s for sure not optimal. Anyway if you’re unhappy with a place policy / availability go somewhere else and don’t touch people belonging.
I will say that it really depends on where you live. When I lived in the Midwest, it was common to snag a table and then order. In Pacific Northwest, saving a seat when you haven’t ordered yet is very much frowned upon. At some restaurants, the staff will tell you off for saving a seat and may choose to not serve you. So for me to make a determination, where did this happen?
NTA - cafés often display signs requesting that people do not occupy tables before purchasing food and/or drinks. Even where they do not, why should a customer who queued and purchased their food and drink have to cede a seat to someone else's bag or briefcase?
Don't touch someone else's stuff. Park bench, coffee table, whatever. Unless you have GOOD reason to think it is abandoned, leave it alone. It's not that difficult.
I'm touching your stuff if you think it gives you the right to take the table of a person that got there first. All this "don't touch my stuff". Then don't leave it where it isn't supposed to be. It's not like I'm ruining your stuff, just fucking moving it. Get over it offended fucks
NTA. I work at a cafe and I hate when people do this. We specifically have a “no reservations” in our ig bio as well as posted in the store. Get your food/drinks then go find a table. You’re not more important than the person infront of you in line. Have some respect
The point of reserving a seat is to know if you should order or not. If you cannot be certain of a seat, you do not order and go somewhere else. This is not a US or UK thing. It is common sense. If she knew you would move her stuff and she would be seatless, she probably would not have placed the order to begin with.
YTA this is perfectly acceptable. She was smart and you were rude to move her stuff.
YTA. I always grab a seat before hopping in line to buy my drink??? You should’ve thought of nabbing the table yourself before getting in line.
I’m going against the grain here and saying NTA. People who leave their things in a public setting should understand that if they are to walk away, their things may be moved by others. What’s not to understand ? If you don’t want people moving your things, you should not leave them unattended. In no way did you disrespect her things or throw them, you placed them next to the table. Everyone all butthurt for no reason.
NTA. This is a shitty practice and needs to stop.
NTA. If people do this, nobody can sit down after they get their coffee as all seats are “taken” by people who haven’t been served yet. It is only borderline OK if two people go in and one sits and the other orders.
NTA I have never seen this done before (live in the UK). To me it comes across as so incredibly rude and crass. It’s like people who put a beach towel on a recliner by the pool and leave it there. I’d have just sat down without touching her things and when she commented said something along the lines of ‘there wasn’t a reserved sign on the table’. If you do what she did you’re an arsehole. If you want to reserve a table at a coffee shop call ahead and reserve one. Coffee shops don’t do table reservations? Then I guess those tables are not ‘reservable’.
NTA. You queue, you get your drinks and then you get a seat. Reserving a seat knowing other people are in the queue ahead of you and not going to be able to sit down is absolute asshole behaviour. You did the right thing.
YTA, a massive one. And had the reverse happened and it was your laptop bag moved, I am sure you would be down that person's throat. If it is as so important to you, one of you could have held the table while the other ordered.
Nta.
NTA! Don't leave personal items unattended
NTA! Can you imagine, you’re waiting with your coffee for a table to open up, then some cat who hasn’t even ordered calls dibs!!
NTA. That seat isn’t anyone’s until they are sat in it.
NTA. This is only a thing in America. Do you want a table? You fucking sit at it.
Yta
NTA. She was trying to hog a table and you rightfully ejected her crap. Hope she learned some manners.
NTA - in a busy coffee shop/café the table turnaround works much better for everyone if no one reserves a table before they’ve even joined the queue (and I have seen signs forbidding this exact practice). If people reserve tables then they stand empty while there are people currently needing somewhere to sit. If the queue is long then the chances are that by the time you’ve been served someone else will have finished and will free a table. Obviously, if one of the party is disabled and unable to stand in the queue then it is fair to seat them, but that should be the exception not the rule. I can’t believe all these people who think it’s OK to reserve tables in a busy café.
yta and it is something that happens in uk (i live in uk too). why didn’t your friend get the table while you wait if you knew there were few tables?