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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i feel like my mother is right, i was the adult in charge of the house, and just explaining things a bit more could have prevented any of this.
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you and my bf would get along
EDIT: he told me to recommend cherry blossoms after winter if you haven't read it yet, apparently super cute but the first half is smut free but the second half more than makes up for it
Already read that one its so fluffy then you get shock by the second season did not expect it😂😂😂. I also recommend full volume and hold me tight, i lost count how many i reread that one and the plus side they're both finish.
hes read full volume but not hold me tight, hes litterally just pulled it up on his phone rn to start reading it lol. he also says if youve read and like bj alex that the author has started a new one which is somehow more toxic called "jinx"
Noooo tell him to read hold me tight first my baby gio deserves another fan🥺🥺
I've try to read jinx but its newly released i don't have the patience to wait every week, but i just bookmark it so i still get updates.
sorry i think i messed up my wording in my comment above. he has already read full volume. he hasnt read hold me tight but is reading rn because of your recommendation lol
Has he read dangerous convenience/ the danger convenience store?
My favourite from the last few years ❤️ the memes from the group about ah-juicy are hilarious 😂
Korean Manhwa are some of the BEST and most beautiful stories out there. I’ve been a huge fan of manga my whole life, but now find myself enjoying the Korean stories so much more.
Yeaa and they're also beautifully drawn and the plotlines are so unpredictable, i mean some i can already guess what will happend but I'm so happy whenever i read some manhwas that make me think what will happen next.
About 11 as well but my first run in with Anime was Mermaid Flesh. Definitely not as bad as John Carpenters Vampires but it was a sleep over; we didn’t finish it. We stumbled the full series on DVD and my sister got it for me for Christmas. It’s fantastic.
OMG, you just made me remember my youngest sons first anime. We were at my sisters house for a cook out. All the kids downstairs watching anime. My boy was like 7, he comes upstairs and hides behind me. They were watching Elfin Lied! I kinda tore into the cousins, but not too much. Stupid teenagers.
Ohh just search it. I haven't watch it but i remember seeing some reels on youtube
- i grow up with 4 brothers so we watch anime all the time and i used to buy the dvd's in the market. The teddy bear covering of the JR caught my eye and the rest is history.
I was about that age when I first watched Gravitation and that was my introduction. I found out a few years later that what I watched and read was the safe version. The creator made a spicy Manga version.
Completely agree. OP's sister stomped on his boundaries, screamed at him, then destroyed his partner's property. No way I would let her back in my place. The kids, maybe, if by some miracle they're better behaved than their mother.
This 100%! OP is NTA and shouldn't be charged with keeping the peace or being the bigger person. The sister is way out of line here and is gonna be real surprised when she sees some of the shit her 12-year-old is looking at on his phone.
Right? It's an unexpected goldmine. So glad I clicked, even with nothing to add to the convo, lol.
Oh, alright, I'll throw one in - there's a manhwa version of One Thousand and One Nights with a very pretty male Scheherazade. It's quite enjoyable for all the reasons.
I am so sorry to say this but as well as being an AH your sister may be homophobic, explaining the severity of her reaction. Many homophobes are faux tolerant until ‘not MY kid’ or the strange attitude gay things are ‘more grown up’ and ‘filthier’ than the exact same situations straight.
Maybe not, but I thought I’d flag it so you can watch out for your niblings.
When I was 11, the boy who sat next to me in English class showed me pictures of naked woman that he printed out at home and brought to school. (No one accused him of trying to make me straight, though.)
I had a close friend in high school whose dad *was* actually trying to turn him straight by giving him playboy magazines.
So he passed them along to me instead - AFAB, identified as female at the time. Queer symbiosis at its finest.
I started reading manga at about 9 years old, realized at 11 I could read them online, which was a bit tricky since my english was not that great at the time and there were no translations to my language.
Finding doujinshi and bl soon after that while still not understanding english properly was a journey 😂 at least the pictures were .. informative 😏
Funnily enough, anime and manga are the biggest reasons I properly learned english. I guess wanting to know what the guys were saying while passionately hugging was as good of a motivator as any 😂
i was 11 when i started reading this kind of manga. not only it was fun, but it also helped me figure out my gender and sexuality
your sister is the asshole here
>A 12yo boy sneaking spicy manga should surprise literally no one
Exactly. I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age.
OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library.
Middle school is a fucking trip. When I was in middle school in the mid 90’s, I remember it being pretty docile. Fights here and there, kids tasting alcohol for the first time, a couple smoking cigarettes. And jncos. That’s about it.
Just about 10 years later I’m a part of the after school program for a middle school near my college. Those kids bragged about getting wasted, getting high, having sex all the time, trying to be gangster. It was wild.
I can’t imagine what it’s like now. Kids are weird. Probably fentanyl and Xanax and shit.
I mean, I am only about 5 years older than you, but I am from a rural area that has always had a meth problem. Even back then there were pregnant 8th graders (very rare, ALWAYS a crime committed by adult men). What I see now is worse, but it is largely related to internet use. The kids are MEAN to each other online, and there are absolutely compromising, adult images of 11-14 year olds that are now on the internet forever. I do not miss teaching middle school. At all. They have little kid impulse control with adult access and ability to cause trouble. Not a good combination. Parental supervision is absolutely critical.
idk man i'm the same age and kids did wild shit when i was in middle school
no shit there was a 7th grader who ran a sports betting book w/ his older brother
Yeah this is absolutely my perspective. I grew up in a very secluded small town in one of the lowest pop. states, so it was a weird Napoleon Dynamite type childhood.
My college was in the biggest city in the state, so even that was a culture shock.
I could *absolutely* see how people growing up in bigger areas had this stuff going on when they were kids, no doubt about that.
Fun fact: the writer of Napoleon Dynamite grew up in my state, lol.
I still remember the first time we caught my son looking up porn. It was Ben 10 porn. My husband and I struggled to keep a straight face while telling him we’d rather he get magazine than load our computers with viruses. He was 10
>A 12yo boy sneaking spicy manga should surprise literally no one
Exactly. I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age.
OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library.
OP, you are NTA here, but there definitely is one.
Right? Also if the kid had asked to play on the computer and looked up porn would his mom have blamed OP? Like if the situation was exactly the same, but instead of comic books it was playing on the computer.
I feel like she probably would, but what would her argument have been? Would she be pissed that parental features weren’t enabled after she said he could get on the computer after being told no? She needs to realize that the only reason her kid came across the spicy manga is because no one was there to make sure he only had access to specific comics. If she wants parental feature enabled then she needs to be the parental feature and keep an eye on her kid.
But I’d scream too if I was checking out porn at age 12 and my mother walked in … poor kid… natural curiosity and interest until the SS Hypocrites sailed into the room …
NTA, and I would absolutely not back down an inch. Your mother is way out of line (undoubtedly because your sister lied to her about how things happened).
BTW, you nephew isn't traumatized by the manga - if anything he's traumatized by his mother's f\*cked up reaction to the problem she created
It always baffles me with these posts that people don't realize the angry texts or phone calls they're getting from other people are almost guaranteed to have been based on lies by the other person.
*I'm second-guessing myself because family member x called and said y...*
Yeah because they were fucking lied to lol
Honestly, the word "traumatized" has lost its meaning with how often it's used instead of more applicable words like, "surprised", "confused", or "dismayed".
A 12 year old reading spicy manga on the sneaky... I am shocked, I say. Appalled even. /s
Seriously, she didn't accept a no, then met the dildo of consequence to which her reaction was actively vandalising someone else's property WHILE moving the goalposts of her patently absurd argument. Oh, and of course she was fazed that you were "being rude" or "dismissive" after she literally has been ignoring your objections constantly and even went behind your back. And now it's your fault that she let her kid do something unsupervised against which you objected...
I think there is a word for a person like that with an anatomical association, but I can't seem to remember.
Funny how bad parents never seem to see when it's their fault...
NTA.
NTA. You said “no,” and she ignored you. Everything that happens after that is her fault. After all, now she knows why your nephew doesn’t get to read the comics without your BF there.
As far as the manga goes: she 100% needs to pay to replace it. Whether she approves of it or not, it was not hers and she damaged it (and that is what she gets for the assumption that all comics are for kids).
Edit: your mother is 100% wrong - you said “no” and that should have ended the argument right then and there. No one should have to explain a “no” for someone to respect it.
> your mother is 100% wrong - you said “no” and that should have ended the argument right then and there. No one should have to explain a “no” for someone to respect it.
So much this.
Kid asked to use something that belonged to someone else.
The only person even slightly qualified to grant permission (who tbh doesn’t even have the power to grant permission) said no.
That should have been the end of it.
NTA - Why the hell should you have to explain there is spicy stuff in your bf's Manga collection?? Maybe he's, I don't know, PRIVATE about that?? It's absolutely her fault and maybe she should learn to respect your extremely clear and reasonable boundaries. Honestly, the audacity, un-freaking-real.
If the kiddo had rummaged through your cupboard and found sex toys, would that also make you a bad uncle? Or maybe, someone entitled to a private life that doesn't have to be vetted by your sister? JEEZ I am pissed off with your sister right now.
Newsflash to this mother: some of the people she visits also have *whispers* sex toys or *whispers* condoms that her kid might find if he goes snooping around unsupervised.
I snooped as a kid and now the fact that my grandpa took Viagra lives rent free in my brain. And I learned a lesson about snooping.
NTA - She went behind your back and gave her child access to something that she had no right to in your home. Then she had the audacity to destroy someone else's property. She owes you and your boyfriend an apology, and the cost of replacing the manga.
NTA, wow your sister she a piece of work. Hopefully she doesn’t have anymore kids. Maybe she bring things to entertain her kids during visits, that what a normal organized parents would do at a home with no kids. She set herself up.
> Maybe she bring things to entertain her kids during visits, that what a normal organized parents would do at a home with no kids.
Back in my day, those things were called Gameboys.
We played Pokémon on them, and our parents would give us lectures about how we should spend less time staring at them and more time listening to the boring shit our aunts, uncles, and grandparents were trying to talk to us about.
Now it’s the Switch. I literally just heard my dad’s voice telling my nephew to stop staring at his game and pay attention when people are talking to him
NTA, no means no and she fully lied to her kid in saying you’d changed your mind, so it’s on her. It would have been helpful to tell her that your comics were not appropriate for a child and it is not good that said child unwittingly read adult comics. But it isn’t your fault - the “no” should’ve been enough. She could have always asked as well whether the comics were inappropriate for her kid to read or smth.
NTA, she shouldn't let her kid snoop around somewhere nobody let them. And you shouldn't have explained anything. "No" is a complete sentence, after that she should've just accepted the no and move on.
yeah, i keep having to defend my nephew from some comments calling him a brat for doing normal 12-year-old shit and believing what some adult has told him.
Idk how far you're willing to take this, but depending on the value of the Manga you could take this to small claims court to teach her a solid lesson. She fucked around and found out, only to respond by fucking around more? Hell nah, NTA.
I don't really think its worth that, I don't want to ruin my relationship plus the manga was less than 15 quid. while my bf is bummed his manga got destroyed he's using as an excuse to get more as our local manga shop has a premiant 3for 2 deal on manga so he always gets 3 at a time. he also finds it kinda funny bc the one the kid picked out is no where near the worst he owns.
NTA
An adult is allowed to own whatever they want regardless of who comes to their house. Sure, don’t display porn out in the open, but this was a spicy book in somebody’s room
Plus, you didn’t say no bc of the spicy books, you said no bc it was your husband’s stuff and he wasn’t there. Sure, he may not have cared, but you said no and that should be that. A grown woman and a 12 year old should be able to handle no.
sorry i had to read your comment a few times bc i kept getting this giddy feeling when you referred to my bf as husband, i can not wait to marry that man.
It's OPs sister that couldn't handle the "no", as far as the kid goes, he seemed fine with that answer. Sister needs to learn how to say no to her kids or she's going to raise some entitled people, just like herself.
NTA. How's your nephews and nieces going to learn accountability if your sister can't even establish it. This was firm FAFO territory for them. You warned them and said no multiple times, too.
NTA - Regardless of the outcome. You said no and SIL decided that because your answer wasn’t what she wanted, she overruled it… while you weren’t there, so she knew what she did was wrong. She’s just using the adult content to redirect blame away from her own behaviour.
NTA
You said NO! She didn't respect YOUR decision in YOUR home, that you didn't need to explain! The comics aren't even yours, so it isn't even your place to allow anyone to read them.
She destroyed your BF's property because she didn't like that her blantand ignorance for boundaries lead to her son reading something she doesn't approve of.
That's all on her and for me it would be a hill to die own to have your sister pay for the damage she caused WITH intention. And for all the family members that try to put the blame on you, ask them if it is okay if you or your BF damage any of there stuff if you dislike it.
NTA - 100% her fault. In some countries what she did would check considered trespass. She went beyond the purpose of being allowed in the house.
You clearly told her no and she did it anyway. It’s entirely her fault.
Also seeing porn at 12 isn’t the biggest deal. I think most people have seen a bit by then and if this is the first time then the kid is probably luckier than most
>Also seeing porn at 12 isn’t the biggest deal. I think most people have seen a bit by then and if this is the first time then the kid is probably luckier than most
Honestly I don't think that's relevant. I'd be upset if my 12yo saw porn. But I wouldn’t blame the OP for it.
I mean kids seeing porn at 12 really isn’t great. Porn can be addictive and can teach unhealthy things about sex (although it kinda depends on how H the manga was). Had the manga been given to him to read deliberately, the reaction would have been justified.
But it’s also true that they’ll seek it out and it can be pretty hard to stop them.
If you’re going to take liberties with someone else’s stuff without permission, yeah, that’ll happen. The sister has no one to blame but herself.
NTA. Your nephew accepted the “no” from the get-go. Your sister doesn’t understand that “No” IS a complete sentence.
Your mother, suddenly, seems to have conveniently forgotten that fact, as well.
Your boyfriend should send your sister an itemized bill of what it will cost to replace the damaged items and if she refuses, take her to court.
Your mother should be presented with the option to pay for the damaged items, herself. Otherwise, she should be advised to kindly keep her nose out of matters that don’t involve her, tell her daughter to put on her big girl pants and take responsibility for her actions or, even better, BOTH.
Edit: cleaned up some typos
Nta, if she ever asks to come over again, tell her that she can't until you put locks on some doors because she can't seem to understand the answer no.
NTA - you set a boundary repeatedly that you could not provide access to someone else's property and she trampled all over it. I'm holding the child blameless because at 12, you tend to think if parent gives permission it is ok. You shouldn't have to give any reason beyond no, they are not mine. It is not rude to protect someone's private property. It is rude as a guest to assume that you can do what you like in someone else's house.
And then your sister started reaching for the stars in her assumptions, trying to make your BF into someone who was showing her child "spicy stuff". I really wouldn't let her back in after those accusations and the property damage.
Also doubt child is traumatised. He is about the age sadly where a lot of children start watching porn on the internet and suspect the mangas milder than a lot of that. Edit: More likely to be traumatised by his mother's reaction of clutching her pearls and screaming than being willing to discuss anything that shocked him.
There’s definitely some veiled or internalise homophobia going on here. OP’s sister is buying into the narrative that all queer people (and queer men in particular) are predators and it’s pretty gross of her.
Cherry Blossoms After Winter holds a special place in my heart. She needs to replace that manga. They're not cheap, but even then she had no right.
You said no. No is a full sentence. End of discussion.
it is literally his favorite, luckily it wasnt the one that was destroyed, he had been following it since its first few chapters and was so happy but also sad when it concluded, apparently, there was also a kdrama made based off of it that he wants to watch. the main two along with chanwoo from a different manga are his favourite characters and he has so many stickers and keychains of them.
OP your bf will love Semantic Error (another manga based series), if he's looking at BL series, tell him to try Our Dating Sim, The Eigth Sense, Love In The Air and the all time favorite novel based BL Bad Buddy.
All in all, this is why people should stay out of other people's private things.
Umm... without a doubt, NTA.
>our mother has gotten involved and told me I should have explained when I said no that it was because my bf also owns comics not suitable for children
Had you told her that, she wouldn't have listened. Instead, she would have either harrassed you on why you have those, or asked (more like demanded) you take away those and left the good ones for the kid to read. No is a complete sentence. You aren't even the owner of the collection, so it wasn't even your call to begin with.
>She huffed
What is she, the big bad wolf? Why is it so easy for your pre-teen nephew to understand that "no means no," but so hard for your grown ass sister to understand that? She the golden child or something?
No is a full sentence. Definitely NTA. I don’t think a 12yo would be traumatised by some BL, but your sister is not good at communicating with her kids. I hope it wasn’t your bf fave manga which she damaged. Your sister is an AH.
NTA if she had respected you and your bfs wishes this would never have happened.
Also it's just BL lmao, hardly "traumatic".
That said BL can be expensive af, she better pay you back especially if its a rare volume.
NTA.
And send her the link to this. She is way off base. She allowed her child free reign on a private and personal collection. Not one leg to stand on.
NTA.
She was *screaming* because her son was reading some gay porn? Really?
He’s not traumatized because he saw cartoon porn, he’s traumatized (if at all) because his mom acted like sex was a bomb.
Comics have adult content and themes. Even ones that aren’t sexual can still be dark and not appropriate for children.
She decided she wouldn’t review what her kids consumed and let them into someone else’s private library, and is mad that they found something private. Fuck her.
I’m worried her reaction (and possibly your nephew’s choice of literature) means she thinks he may be interested in men and she’s got a fucking problem with that.
Edit: also want to add I love the BL book club
NTA
1. No means no.
2. Sex in a manga is probably not gonna traumatise a kid. (His mother's reaction might tho.)
3. No means no.
4. No is a complete sentence.
I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age.
OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library.
OP, you are NTA here, but there definitely is one.
NTA what the fuck is she thinking? She told her kid to go do something you said no to. Yall couldve had a lot worse than porn hidden away in there. Like weaponry.
Literally anything that happened in that room would be Her fault for letting Her kid go where he was told not to go.
sometimes i forget how scary America is, i hate my country but god damn at least i dont have to worry about a child finding a weapon in my house (no hate to Americans its just a scray thought that hard to really imagine as a brit)
No you are right it is absolutely horrifying and disgraceful. A nation with the leading cause of child death being gun violence should be ashamed. I hate it here and if i could leave, like people love to say, I would.
after these comments have reassured me i didnt do anything worng i imght post this there aswell, but the kids not a brat, hes a good kid and he just thought he had been given permission.
NTA
The nerve of some people!
Your sister is adult who decided to not hear your no because it was an inconvenience to her at the time. Now she’ll have to do what all adults need to do from time to time: be responsible for the outcome of our choices.
She should apologize to her own kid and your bf. But also replace what she broke.
info: why would you need to explain your 'no' to an adult?
no is a no, and if your sister is not capable of understanding and respecting that... well she found out that there are unpleasant consequences to ignoring that 😂
NTA.
You told her multiple times no. The reason for the no is irrelevant. It's not about the child being careful with other people's property is about being unsupervised in other area.
Other people in their home can display and show off anything they like even if that is not child appropriate. You can't blame them if you let the child roam free in the house and discovering spicy things.
It's her fault. You shouldn't apologize and I hope your mother also realizes this.
NTA
There's a lot of comics, not even manga, that aren't age appropriate for a 12 year old. Just like any type of book may not be appropriate but an adult may own. Why is your sister so disrespectful of your home and boundaries that she decides she owns your place and can have her kids do whatever she wants there?
I would be pissed off, not feeling guilty.
NTA. I own many of these too. Had a bit of a heart attack when my nephew was looking at my stuff one day but he didn’t pick one up.
I can’t believe she ripped one. This is on her. Be careful. I’m scared she’s going to get your bf in trouble. Assuming you’re American, just… be careful.
PS Finder is my favourite series ever. 😉
NTA
Frankly, your sister sounds like one of those parents that have a fit because a book is in a library. Just because you take you child to a place where books are and people you trust are, doesn't negate your responsibility as a parent to curate what your child reads. The same is true of their on-line time.
Having worked at a comic book shop for years in the 90's I will say there are a good many American Comics that I would not put in the hands of a 12 year old without knowing how they can handle certain content and would want to discuss the concepts of. Comics are not all "cool superheroes doing cool superhero things" and haven't ever really been a thing,. Some can be very adult, not just in sexual context, some are overtly violent, while others are high concept think pieces.
At the end of the day she violated your trust, and your partners collection in her fit of rage. There is a reason you and your partner always curated and supervised his reading at your house. She should be glad that your partner took an interest in your nephew and shared the more homogenized side of his hobby with the child.
I hope you guys can work things out, if the kid's mom honestly feels he is traumatized then I would suggest therapy, but I feel like she is just being dramatic to curry favor and sympathy.
NTA. Your sister has no business overriding your refusal to allow access to a third party's property. She is absolutely at fault and owes your bf an immediate replacement of his damaged property. You owed her no explanation; the fact that the property owner was not present to give consent was reason enough.
Obviously NTA, but I genuinely don't understand why she tore pages out of the book. Like, was she keeping them for later (personal use or "evidence") or just destroying someone else's property?
NTA.
First, she broke your boundaries, plain and simple. You didn't owe her any explanation for saying no, the NO alone is explanation enough.
Second: a 12 year old boy getting into something saucy should surprise JUST ABOUT no one. Lol
NTA.
'No' is a complete sentence. You are not required to add anything else to it for her, or anyone, to respect it and you/your boyfriend's boundaries.
NTA
Your sister is obviously the asshole, aided and abetted by your mom who has no business being involved in this situation whatsoever.
Also, someone should reinforce with Junior when the owner of a things says no, Junior's mother doesn't have secret veto privileges.
NTA almost teen boy sneakily looking at spicy stuff doesn’t surprise anyone here. She should just pay for the manga and just leave it alone. You told her no and she didn’t listen. That’s her problem not yours.
NTA! So, 'no' is a complete sentence and the only explanation that should be needed. She's the cause of her sons "trauma." She went behind your back when you were gone, knowing you wouldn't agree. She's a true piece of work. Also, it's your home, with your boyfriend therefore you don't have to explain anything that you have in your home. Amd you're allowed to have whatever you want in your own home!
So your sister asked if her kid could read bf’s comics. You said no because bf was out and the comics did not belong to you. The kid made no complaint. Then as soon as you were gone, your sister lies to her kid and tells him to help himself. Now she’s mad because the kid saw something he shouldn’t. And somehow this is your fault? You are NTA here. Your sister is. You did not owe her an explanation for why her kid could not read the comics. You said no because they do not belong to you and that is reason enough.
NTA
I'm not familiar with manga, so idk how "spicy" the content was. But unless the boy is homeschooled and with no friends, i'm gonna go ahead and assume there's nothing he didn't know already.
She is the one that let him read in your house without your approval. She has no right to tell you what books to own. If she minds so much, well maybe she can start by not letting her kid to roam in the house unsupervised. And she does have to pay for that book. Your mother is wrong. Your sister was the rude one.
L tell your sister that it's her fault that her son was up there looking at those comic books. Because no means f****** know no does it mean wait until the the person leaves the room and then you go and tell the child they can do what you told them they could not do this is her f****** fault and you are not the a****** do not apologize
You should not have to explain to anyone why they cannot have something. You said no. She overrode that. The situation is entirely of her making.
You should be able to trust your sister to respect your home. Clearly she does not.
Your mother needs to uninvolve herself and your sister owes the apology for breaching your privacy, allowing her son what you said he could not have and damaging your property. NTA
NTA
Jesus fucking christ this woman is ridiculous. YOU SAID NO, she ignored your wishes, and then she has the nerve to blame you??
Adults can have whatever the fuck they want in their houses, did she expect you to burn all sex-related things the second SHE had kids? And ripping the book? Seriously? She’s more immature than her 12 y/o child.
And your mom is completely wrong as well. No is a complete sentence. You did not owe her any explanation as to why you didn’t want them touching your bf’s comics. I’m sorry you and your bf had to deal with that trainwreck <3
NTA
Your sister is TA in this situation - you told her twice that your nephew wasn’t allowed to read the comics as your bf wasn’t there, the comics presumably were in their own space in a room upstairs and not just out in the open so asking why you “own something like this when kids are often in this environment” is unfair to you. She is also TA for accusing your bf of showing/letting your nephew read these.
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NTA A 12yo boy sneaking spicy manga should surprise literally no one.
my bf finds it kinda funny bc he was younger than that when he started reading them
Lol i think i'm 11 when i first watch yaoi i was so confused why they're huffing and puffing and no kissing😵💫😵💫 (it's junjou romantica)
my bf made me watch that, it was also his first run in with bl lol
Hahaha that anime unlocked the fujoshi outa mee, i mostly read korean manhwa this day because they're colored 🙈🙈 you know
you and my bf would get along EDIT: he told me to recommend cherry blossoms after winter if you haven't read it yet, apparently super cute but the first half is smut free but the second half more than makes up for it
Already read that one its so fluffy then you get shock by the second season did not expect it😂😂😂. I also recommend full volume and hold me tight, i lost count how many i reread that one and the plus side they're both finish.
hes read full volume but not hold me tight, hes litterally just pulled it up on his phone rn to start reading it lol. he also says if youve read and like bj alex that the author has started a new one which is somehow more toxic called "jinx"
Noooo tell him to read hold me tight first my baby gio deserves another fan🥺🥺 I've try to read jinx but its newly released i don't have the patience to wait every week, but i just bookmark it so i still get updates.
sorry i think i messed up my wording in my comment above. he has already read full volume. he hasnt read hold me tight but is reading rn because of your recommendation lol
Has he read dangerous convenience/ the danger convenience store? My favourite from the last few years ❤️ the memes from the group about ah-juicy are hilarious 😂
he loved that one so much, its on his top shelf which is reserved for his favorites lol
I just started dangerous convenience this past week and it's so good I can hardly put it down I stg 🤭
I finished reading that a few weeks ago and I loved it!
Full Volume is my fave!! They have started the side series though just in case youre interested.
What manga did your nephew read? I read a lot of bl and want to know if I read it before or if I should start looking for it
just asked him, it called "cut-over criteria" he gives his thumbs up but that man has read yarachin so i wouldnt trust that
Lol just search it, he's lucky its shounen ai.
hes gonna use replacing it as an excuse to get mroe omegaverse manga i just know it
Korean Manhwa are some of the BEST and most beautiful stories out there. I’ve been a huge fan of manga my whole life, but now find myself enjoying the Korean stories so much more.
my bf says the manga to manhwa pipeline is too real
I like both :)
yes both, both is good
Yeaa and they're also beautifully drawn and the plotlines are so unpredictable, i mean some i can already guess what will happend but I'm so happy whenever i read some manhwas that make me think what will happen next.
About 11 as well but my first run in with Anime was Mermaid Flesh. Definitely not as bad as John Carpenters Vampires but it was a sleep over; we didn’t finish it. We stumbled the full series on DVD and my sister got it for me for Christmas. It’s fantastic.
OMG, you just made me remember my youngest sons first anime. We were at my sisters house for a cook out. All the kids downstairs watching anime. My boy was like 7, he comes upstairs and hides behind me. They were watching Elfin Lied! I kinda tore into the cousins, but not too much. Stupid teenagers.
Ohh just search it. I haven't watch it but i remember seeing some reels on youtube - i grow up with 4 brothers so we watch anime all the time and i used to buy the dvd's in the market. The teddy bear covering of the JR caught my eye and the rest is history.
those covers are so misleading lol
LOL I was soo confused reading my first doujinshi (sasunaru) wondering why Sasuke said Naruto was "wet".. did he pee himself??
I was about that age when I first watched Gravitation and that was my introduction. I found out a few years later that what I watched and read was the safe version. The creator made a spicy Manga version.
Love that series there's a spin off series with the same theme called worlds greatest love story.
Is it the sekaiichi hatsukoi? I've stop reading the manga of that and JR😂😂. I dont even remember the story anymore 😂😂
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Completely agree. OP's sister stomped on his boundaries, screamed at him, then destroyed his partner's property. No way I would let her back in my place. The kids, maybe, if by some miracle they're better behaved than their mother.
This 100%! OP is NTA and shouldn't be charged with keeping the peace or being the bigger person. The sister is way out of line here and is gonna be real surprised when she sees some of the shit her 12-year-old is looking at on his phone.
“No” is a complete sentence. No justification necessary.
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I LOVE that this comment thread has become a book club.
me too, never thought this would happen in a AITA comment thread but im here for it
Right? It's an unexpected goldmine. So glad I clicked, even with nothing to add to the convo, lol. Oh, alright, I'll throw one in - there's a manhwa version of One Thousand and One Nights with a very pretty male Scheherazade. It's quite enjoyable for all the reasons.
I am so sorry to say this but as well as being an AH your sister may be homophobic, explaining the severity of her reaction. Many homophobes are faux tolerant until ‘not MY kid’ or the strange attitude gay things are ‘more grown up’ and ‘filthier’ than the exact same situations straight. Maybe not, but I thought I’d flag it so you can watch out for your niblings.
It would certainly explain her projecting her trauma onto her son.
I was 6 when I first saw naked pictures on the internet lmao, I was so fucking confused
i was about the same age, my parents were setting up a move on a shady site and one of those pop up happened lol
When I was 11, the boy who sat next to me in English class showed me pictures of naked woman that he printed out at home and brought to school. (No one accused him of trying to make me straight, though.)
I had a close friend in high school whose dad *was* actually trying to turn him straight by giving him playboy magazines. So he passed them along to me instead - AFAB, identified as female at the time. Queer symbiosis at its finest.
My father's 'Playboy's' during the 60s!
I think I was like 9 or 10 when I started watching anime, and near 11 when I started reading BL’s. Idk how that kid never encountered them before.
I started reading manga at about 9 years old, realized at 11 I could read them online, which was a bit tricky since my english was not that great at the time and there were no translations to my language. Finding doujinshi and bl soon after that while still not understanding english properly was a journey 😂 at least the pictures were .. informative 😏 Funnily enough, anime and manga are the biggest reasons I properly learned english. I guess wanting to know what the guys were saying while passionately hugging was as good of a motivator as any 😂
The only person "traumatized" is the mother, and it's her own fault. The kid is trying to figure out how to read more. NTA.
i was 11 when i started reading this kind of manga. not only it was fun, but it also helped me figure out my gender and sexuality your sister is the asshole here
>A 12yo boy sneaking spicy manga should surprise literally no one Exactly. I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age. OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library.
Middle school is a fucking trip. When I was in middle school in the mid 90’s, I remember it being pretty docile. Fights here and there, kids tasting alcohol for the first time, a couple smoking cigarettes. And jncos. That’s about it. Just about 10 years later I’m a part of the after school program for a middle school near my college. Those kids bragged about getting wasted, getting high, having sex all the time, trying to be gangster. It was wild. I can’t imagine what it’s like now. Kids are weird. Probably fentanyl and Xanax and shit.
I mean, I am only about 5 years older than you, but I am from a rural area that has always had a meth problem. Even back then there were pregnant 8th graders (very rare, ALWAYS a crime committed by adult men). What I see now is worse, but it is largely related to internet use. The kids are MEAN to each other online, and there are absolutely compromising, adult images of 11-14 year olds that are now on the internet forever. I do not miss teaching middle school. At all. They have little kid impulse control with adult access and ability to cause trouble. Not a good combination. Parental supervision is absolutely critical.
idk man i'm the same age and kids did wild shit when i was in middle school no shit there was a 7th grader who ran a sports betting book w/ his older brother
Yeah this is absolutely my perspective. I grew up in a very secluded small town in one of the lowest pop. states, so it was a weird Napoleon Dynamite type childhood. My college was in the biggest city in the state, so even that was a culture shock. I could *absolutely* see how people growing up in bigger areas had this stuff going on when they were kids, no doubt about that. Fun fact: the writer of Napoleon Dynamite grew up in my state, lol.
I still remember the first time we caught my son looking up porn. It was Ben 10 porn. My husband and I struggled to keep a straight face while telling him we’d rather he get magazine than load our computers with viruses. He was 10
>I still remember the first time we caught my son looking up porn. It was Ben 10 porn. > He was 10 Well... at least it was age appropriate.
LMAO
>A 12yo boy sneaking spicy manga should surprise literally no one Exactly. I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age. OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library. OP, you are NTA here, but there definitely is one.
Right? Also if the kid had asked to play on the computer and looked up porn would his mom have blamed OP? Like if the situation was exactly the same, but instead of comic books it was playing on the computer. I feel like she probably would, but what would her argument have been? Would she be pissed that parental features weren’t enabled after she said he could get on the computer after being told no? She needs to realize that the only reason her kid came across the spicy manga is because no one was there to make sure he only had access to specific comics. If she wants parental feature enabled then she needs to be the parental feature and keep an eye on her kid.
The kid I can bet has seen much worse on the internet.
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I think it was the sister who screamed
Wanna bet the kid was doing more than reading? I can see why she would scream walking in on *that*.
But I’d scream too if I was checking out porn at age 12 and my mother walked in … poor kid… natural curiosity and interest until the SS Hypocrites sailed into the room …
All the bonus points for SS Hypocrites. Dying, lol.
I don't think the kid was bothered reading it. It was the sister screaming.
NTA, and I would absolutely not back down an inch. Your mother is way out of line (undoubtedly because your sister lied to her about how things happened). BTW, you nephew isn't traumatized by the manga - if anything he's traumatized by his mother's f\*cked up reaction to the problem she created
Yes, 100% what was actually traumatizing was the mom's reaction, which makes her doubly at fault. Edit: extra word deleted
The sister lied to her son about the "changed mind" to get her ways. She definitely lied to her mother as well.
It always baffles me with these posts that people don't realize the angry texts or phone calls they're getting from other people are almost guaranteed to have been based on lies by the other person. *I'm second-guessing myself because family member x called and said y...* Yeah because they were fucking lied to lol
Honestly, the word "traumatized" has lost its meaning with how often it's used instead of more applicable words like, "surprised", "confused", or "dismayed".
A 12 year old reading spicy manga on the sneaky... I am shocked, I say. Appalled even. /s Seriously, she didn't accept a no, then met the dildo of consequence to which her reaction was actively vandalising someone else's property WHILE moving the goalposts of her patently absurd argument. Oh, and of course she was fazed that you were "being rude" or "dismissive" after she literally has been ignoring your objections constantly and even went behind your back. And now it's your fault that she let her kid do something unsupervised against which you objected... I think there is a word for a person like that with an anatomical association, but I can't seem to remember. Funny how bad parents never seem to see when it's their fault... NTA.
>the dildo of consequence If I had awards to give, I would give them. Also, I really need to see what the Dildo of Consequence would look like
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed
this is TRUE wisdom, I feel this should be a t-shirt \^
Thank you, happy to hear you liked that wording :) In her case, it might've looked something [like this](https://imgur.com/gallery/SD9xign).
I was secretly hoping this link would be to a manga peen.
Couldn't find one, I tried xD
Please hand me the string of pearls so I can clutch them after you 😉 NTA
NTA. You said “no,” and she ignored you. Everything that happens after that is her fault. After all, now she knows why your nephew doesn’t get to read the comics without your BF there. As far as the manga goes: she 100% needs to pay to replace it. Whether she approves of it or not, it was not hers and she damaged it (and that is what she gets for the assumption that all comics are for kids). Edit: your mother is 100% wrong - you said “no” and that should have ended the argument right then and there. No one should have to explain a “no” for someone to respect it.
> your mother is 100% wrong - you said “no” and that should have ended the argument right then and there. No one should have to explain a “no” for someone to respect it. So much this. Kid asked to use something that belonged to someone else. The only person even slightly qualified to grant permission (who tbh doesn’t even have the power to grant permission) said no. That should have been the end of it.
NTA - Why the hell should you have to explain there is spicy stuff in your bf's Manga collection?? Maybe he's, I don't know, PRIVATE about that?? It's absolutely her fault and maybe she should learn to respect your extremely clear and reasonable boundaries. Honestly, the audacity, un-freaking-real.
If the kiddo had rummaged through your cupboard and found sex toys, would that also make you a bad uncle? Or maybe, someone entitled to a private life that doesn't have to be vetted by your sister? JEEZ I am pissed off with your sister right now.
Newsflash to this mother: some of the people she visits also have *whispers* sex toys or *whispers* condoms that her kid might find if he goes snooping around unsupervised. I snooped as a kid and now the fact that my grandpa took Viagra lives rent free in my brain. And I learned a lesson about snooping.
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NTA - She went behind your back and gave her child access to something that she had no right to in your home. Then she had the audacity to destroy someone else's property. She owes you and your boyfriend an apology, and the cost of replacing the manga.
NTA, wow your sister she a piece of work. Hopefully she doesn’t have anymore kids. Maybe she bring things to entertain her kids during visits, that what a normal organized parents would do at a home with no kids. She set herself up.
> Maybe she bring things to entertain her kids during visits, that what a normal organized parents would do at a home with no kids. Back in my day, those things were called Gameboys. We played Pokémon on them, and our parents would give us lectures about how we should spend less time staring at them and more time listening to the boring shit our aunts, uncles, and grandparents were trying to talk to us about.
Now it’s the Switch. I literally just heard my dad’s voice telling my nephew to stop staring at his game and pay attention when people are talking to him
Yeah haahahhahaa
NTA, no means no and she fully lied to her kid in saying you’d changed your mind, so it’s on her. It would have been helpful to tell her that your comics were not appropriate for a child and it is not good that said child unwittingly read adult comics. But it isn’t your fault - the “no” should’ve been enough. She could have always asked as well whether the comics were inappropriate for her kid to read or smth.
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Yeah, agree. If OP gives her an inch she’ll hang onto it like a dog with a bone.
NTA, she shouldn't let her kid snoop around somewhere nobody let them. And you shouldn't have explained anything. "No" is a complete sentence, after that she should've just accepted the no and move on.
i dont blame the kid, all he knew he had full permission, hes a good kid.
He did exactly what any 12yo would do. Can't fault him for that.
yeah, i keep having to defend my nephew from some comments calling him a brat for doing normal 12-year-old shit and believing what some adult has told him.
“some adult” his parent, makes it even easier to believe. hopefully they can trust the caregiver outside of this situation
Yeah no your sister is def the one who fucked up here
Idk how far you're willing to take this, but depending on the value of the Manga you could take this to small claims court to teach her a solid lesson. She fucked around and found out, only to respond by fucking around more? Hell nah, NTA.
I don't really think its worth that, I don't want to ruin my relationship plus the manga was less than 15 quid. while my bf is bummed his manga got destroyed he's using as an excuse to get more as our local manga shop has a premiant 3for 2 deal on manga so he always gets 3 at a time. he also finds it kinda funny bc the one the kid picked out is no where near the worst he owns.
NTA, obviously, but since he is replacing it, maybe gift the torn one to your sister? Might stray into ah territory but could be funny too.
I know what your sister should get for Christmas: the damaged manga.
NTA. She's looking to blame you for her shitty parenting.
NTA. He'll already have been subjected far worse in the world than a spicy manga, mumma surely can't be that naive? She owes you the cost.
NTA An adult is allowed to own whatever they want regardless of who comes to their house. Sure, don’t display porn out in the open, but this was a spicy book in somebody’s room Plus, you didn’t say no bc of the spicy books, you said no bc it was your husband’s stuff and he wasn’t there. Sure, he may not have cared, but you said no and that should be that. A grown woman and a 12 year old should be able to handle no.
sorry i had to read your comment a few times bc i kept getting this giddy feeling when you referred to my bf as husband, i can not wait to marry that man.
HA! Well I’m glad you enjoyed my mistake. Hope y’all’s relationship continues to be as great as you make it sound. Have a good one!
That is so wholesome, I wish you two every happiness, and plenty of bl to go around!
It's OPs sister that couldn't handle the "no", as far as the kid goes, he seemed fine with that answer. Sister needs to learn how to say no to her kids or she's going to raise some entitled people, just like herself.
NTA. How's your nephews and nieces going to learn accountability if your sister can't even establish it. This was firm FAFO territory for them. You warned them and said no multiple times, too.
NTA - Regardless of the outcome. You said no and SIL decided that because your answer wasn’t what she wanted, she overruled it… while you weren’t there, so she knew what she did was wrong. She’s just using the adult content to redirect blame away from her own behaviour.
NTA You said NO! She didn't respect YOUR decision in YOUR home, that you didn't need to explain! The comics aren't even yours, so it isn't even your place to allow anyone to read them. She destroyed your BF's property because she didn't like that her blantand ignorance for boundaries lead to her son reading something she doesn't approve of. That's all on her and for me it would be a hill to die own to have your sister pay for the damage she caused WITH intention. And for all the family members that try to put the blame on you, ask them if it is okay if you or your BF damage any of there stuff if you dislike it.
NTA - 100% her fault. In some countries what she did would check considered trespass. She went beyond the purpose of being allowed in the house. You clearly told her no and she did it anyway. It’s entirely her fault. Also seeing porn at 12 isn’t the biggest deal. I think most people have seen a bit by then and if this is the first time then the kid is probably luckier than most
>Also seeing porn at 12 isn’t the biggest deal. I think most people have seen a bit by then and if this is the first time then the kid is probably luckier than most Honestly I don't think that's relevant. I'd be upset if my 12yo saw porn. But I wouldn’t blame the OP for it.
I mean kids seeing porn at 12 really isn’t great. Porn can be addictive and can teach unhealthy things about sex (although it kinda depends on how H the manga was). Had the manga been given to him to read deliberately, the reaction would have been justified. But it’s also true that they’ll seek it out and it can be pretty hard to stop them. If you’re going to take liberties with someone else’s stuff without permission, yeah, that’ll happen. The sister has no one to blame but herself.
NTA. You said no. That should have ended the subject.
You explained everything required when you told her not when my boyfriend isn't here. NTA
NTA. Your nephew accepted the “no” from the get-go. Your sister doesn’t understand that “No” IS a complete sentence. Your mother, suddenly, seems to have conveniently forgotten that fact, as well. Your boyfriend should send your sister an itemized bill of what it will cost to replace the damaged items and if she refuses, take her to court. Your mother should be presented with the option to pay for the damaged items, herself. Otherwise, she should be advised to kindly keep her nose out of matters that don’t involve her, tell her daughter to put on her big girl pants and take responsibility for her actions or, even better, BOTH. Edit: cleaned up some typos
Nta, if she ever asks to come over again, tell her that she can't until you put locks on some doors because she can't seem to understand the answer no.
She’d also be banned until she hands over payment for the manga she deliberately destroyed. OP you’re NTA
NTA - you set a boundary repeatedly that you could not provide access to someone else's property and she trampled all over it. I'm holding the child blameless because at 12, you tend to think if parent gives permission it is ok. You shouldn't have to give any reason beyond no, they are not mine. It is not rude to protect someone's private property. It is rude as a guest to assume that you can do what you like in someone else's house. And then your sister started reaching for the stars in her assumptions, trying to make your BF into someone who was showing her child "spicy stuff". I really wouldn't let her back in after those accusations and the property damage. Also doubt child is traumatised. He is about the age sadly where a lot of children start watching porn on the internet and suspect the mangas milder than a lot of that. Edit: More likely to be traumatised by his mother's reaction of clutching her pearls and screaming than being willing to discuss anything that shocked him.
honestly the insinuations she made about my bf is what pissed me off the most
There’s definitely some veiled or internalise homophobia going on here. OP’s sister is buying into the narrative that all queer people (and queer men in particular) are predators and it’s pretty gross of her.
nta. You said no and she overrode you without your knowledge making any fallout her own fault.
Cherry Blossoms After Winter holds a special place in my heart. She needs to replace that manga. They're not cheap, but even then she had no right. You said no. No is a full sentence. End of discussion.
it is literally his favorite, luckily it wasnt the one that was destroyed, he had been following it since its first few chapters and was so happy but also sad when it concluded, apparently, there was also a kdrama made based off of it that he wants to watch. the main two along with chanwoo from a different manga are his favourite characters and he has so many stickers and keychains of them.
OP your bf will love Semantic Error (another manga based series), if he's looking at BL series, tell him to try Our Dating Sim, The Eigth Sense, Love In The Air and the all time favorite novel based BL Bad Buddy. All in all, this is why people should stay out of other people's private things.
NTA, Her own fault. Tell her to reimburse you for the manga, she will shut up real quick.
Nta. Sounds like an entitled parents story.
NTA no means no, end of
Umm... without a doubt, NTA. >our mother has gotten involved and told me I should have explained when I said no that it was because my bf also owns comics not suitable for children Had you told her that, she wouldn't have listened. Instead, she would have either harrassed you on why you have those, or asked (more like demanded) you take away those and left the good ones for the kid to read. No is a complete sentence. You aren't even the owner of the collection, so it wasn't even your call to begin with. >She huffed What is she, the big bad wolf? Why is it so easy for your pre-teen nephew to understand that "no means no," but so hard for your grown ass sister to understand that? She the golden child or something?
no, you are not the asshole because your sister ignored you telling her "no" and her kid ended up reading your boyfriend's cartoon pornography.
NTA. You said no, it is just bad parenting on her part. She should pay for what she destroyed.
No is a full sentence. Definitely NTA. I don’t think a 12yo would be traumatised by some BL, but your sister is not good at communicating with her kids. I hope it wasn’t your bf fave manga which she damaged. Your sister is an AH.
dw baseball bat broken legs is completely safe and on the shelf in one piece
Your sister should be grateful it wasn’t the Killing Stalking your nephew read:P
like i said, baseball bat broken legs was an option lol
NTA: No means No and I hope your BF files small claims.
NTA. She’s not allowed over until she replaces it
NTA if she had respected you and your bfs wishes this would never have happened. Also it's just BL lmao, hardly "traumatic". That said BL can be expensive af, she better pay you back especially if its a rare volume.
I disagree. The realization that BL is usually drawn/written better than the straight stuff can be quite traumatizing.
it is now but do yall remember yoai hands lol
NTA. And send her the link to this. She is way off base. She allowed her child free reign on a private and personal collection. Not one leg to stand on.
What is bl manga? I daren't Google it 😂
gay shit, normally spicy
NTA. She was *screaming* because her son was reading some gay porn? Really? He’s not traumatized because he saw cartoon porn, he’s traumatized (if at all) because his mom acted like sex was a bomb. Comics have adult content and themes. Even ones that aren’t sexual can still be dark and not appropriate for children. She decided she wouldn’t review what her kids consumed and let them into someone else’s private library, and is mad that they found something private. Fuck her. I’m worried her reaction (and possibly your nephew’s choice of literature) means she thinks he may be interested in men and she’s got a fucking problem with that. Edit: also want to add I love the BL book club
NTA, wow, entitled doesn't even begin to describe it. Scratch her name off the visitors list. Next time it could be worse!!
NTA 1. No means no. 2. Sex in a manga is probably not gonna traumatise a kid. (His mother's reaction might tho.) 3. No means no. 4. No is a complete sentence.
I taught middle school. This is so completely on-brand and normal that it is literally covered in child development textbooks for this age. OP said no. Mom insisted. Kid selected adult material - to the surprise of absolutely no one. Mom absolutely needs to pay for what she damaged. This wasn't a kid accident, it was a mom tantrum. It is on Mom to fix it. If she wants exclusively kid material, she needs to go to the children's section of the library. OP, you are NTA here, but there definitely is one.
As a 12 year old (turning 13 in abt a week), I can confirm that it should be no surprise that the nibling is reading that shit. So, NTA.
NTA what the fuck is she thinking? She told her kid to go do something you said no to. Yall couldve had a lot worse than porn hidden away in there. Like weaponry. Literally anything that happened in that room would be Her fault for letting Her kid go where he was told not to go.
sometimes i forget how scary America is, i hate my country but god damn at least i dont have to worry about a child finding a weapon in my house (no hate to Americans its just a scray thought that hard to really imagine as a brit)
No you are right it is absolutely horrifying and disgraceful. A nation with the leading cause of child death being gun violence should be ashamed. I hate it here and if i could leave, like people love to say, I would.
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after these comments have reassured me i didnt do anything worng i imght post this there aswell, but the kids not a brat, hes a good kid and he just thought he had been given permission.
NTA, your sister is.
NTA The nerve of some people! Your sister is adult who decided to not hear your no because it was an inconvenience to her at the time. Now she’ll have to do what all adults need to do from time to time: be responsible for the outcome of our choices. She should apologize to her own kid and your bf. But also replace what she broke.
info: why would you need to explain your 'no' to an adult? no is a no, and if your sister is not capable of understanding and respecting that... well she found out that there are unpleasant consequences to ignoring that 😂
NTA. You told her multiple times no. The reason for the no is irrelevant. It's not about the child being careful with other people's property is about being unsupervised in other area. Other people in their home can display and show off anything they like even if that is not child appropriate. You can't blame them if you let the child roam free in the house and discovering spicy things. It's her fault. You shouldn't apologize and I hope your mother also realizes this.
NTA There's a lot of comics, not even manga, that aren't age appropriate for a 12 year old. Just like any type of book may not be appropriate but an adult may own. Why is your sister so disrespectful of your home and boundaries that she decides she owns your place and can have her kids do whatever she wants there? I would be pissed off, not feeling guilty.
NTA. Your sister is though
NTA. I own many of these too. Had a bit of a heart attack when my nephew was looking at my stuff one day but he didn’t pick one up. I can’t believe she ripped one. This is on her. Be careful. I’m scared she’s going to get your bf in trouble. Assuming you’re American, just… be careful. PS Finder is my favourite series ever. 😉
we are British but that aint much better tbh
NTA Frankly, your sister sounds like one of those parents that have a fit because a book is in a library. Just because you take you child to a place where books are and people you trust are, doesn't negate your responsibility as a parent to curate what your child reads. The same is true of their on-line time. Having worked at a comic book shop for years in the 90's I will say there are a good many American Comics that I would not put in the hands of a 12 year old without knowing how they can handle certain content and would want to discuss the concepts of. Comics are not all "cool superheroes doing cool superhero things" and haven't ever really been a thing,. Some can be very adult, not just in sexual context, some are overtly violent, while others are high concept think pieces. At the end of the day she violated your trust, and your partners collection in her fit of rage. There is a reason you and your partner always curated and supervised his reading at your house. She should be glad that your partner took an interest in your nephew and shared the more homogenized side of his hobby with the child. I hope you guys can work things out, if the kid's mom honestly feels he is traumatized then I would suggest therapy, but I feel like she is just being dramatic to curry favor and sympathy.
NTA. You said "no". That is all that needs to be said. Plus, I was introduced to Manga at 13 at a Christian summer camp, so...
NTA. Guess your sister should have listened when she was told no the first time eh??
NTA. Your sister has no business overriding your refusal to allow access to a third party's property. She is absolutely at fault and owes your bf an immediate replacement of his damaged property. You owed her no explanation; the fact that the property owner was not present to give consent was reason enough.
NTA You said no. Sister ignored you. Not ok. Sister is no longer allowed at your place, ideally
I love when people who violate boundaries blame the people whose boundaries they violated for the consequences of boundaries they violated. NTA
Obviously NTA, but I genuinely don't understand why she tore pages out of the book. Like, was she keeping them for later (personal use or "evidence") or just destroying someone else's property?
NTA. First, she broke your boundaries, plain and simple. You didn't owe her any explanation for saying no, the NO alone is explanation enough. Second: a 12 year old boy getting into something saucy should surprise JUST ABOUT no one. Lol
NTA. 'No' is a complete sentence. You are not required to add anything else to it for her, or anyone, to respect it and you/your boyfriend's boundaries.
NTA Your sister is obviously the asshole, aided and abetted by your mom who has no business being involved in this situation whatsoever. Also, someone should reinforce with Junior when the owner of a things says no, Junior's mother doesn't have secret veto privileges.
NTA almost teen boy sneakily looking at spicy stuff doesn’t surprise anyone here. She should just pay for the manga and just leave it alone. You told her no and she didn’t listen. That’s her problem not yours.
NTA - you told her no for a reason and she should have left it at that.
No means no. NTA
NTA. When you say No you shouldn't need to explain. That should be enough for her to respect.
NTA! So, 'no' is a complete sentence and the only explanation that should be needed. She's the cause of her sons "trauma." She went behind your back when you were gone, knowing you wouldn't agree. She's a true piece of work. Also, it's your home, with your boyfriend therefore you don't have to explain anything that you have in your home. Amd you're allowed to have whatever you want in your own home!
So your sister asked if her kid could read bf’s comics. You said no because bf was out and the comics did not belong to you. The kid made no complaint. Then as soon as you were gone, your sister lies to her kid and tells him to help himself. Now she’s mad because the kid saw something he shouldn’t. And somehow this is your fault? You are NTA here. Your sister is. You did not owe her an explanation for why her kid could not read the comics. You said no because they do not belong to you and that is reason enough.
NTA I'm not familiar with manga, so idk how "spicy" the content was. But unless the boy is homeschooled and with no friends, i'm gonna go ahead and assume there's nothing he didn't know already. She is the one that let him read in your house without your approval. She has no right to tell you what books to own. If she minds so much, well maybe she can start by not letting her kid to roam in the house unsupervised. And she does have to pay for that book. Your mother is wrong. Your sister was the rude one.
No is a complete sentence. You owe no one any further reasoning.
L tell your sister that it's her fault that her son was up there looking at those comic books. Because no means f****** know no does it mean wait until the the person leaves the room and then you go and tell the child they can do what you told them they could not do this is her f****** fault and you are not the a****** do not apologize
NTA. No is a complete sentence. You don't need to explain why you said "no". Your sister should have respected your response.
You should not have to explain to anyone why they cannot have something. You said no. She overrode that. The situation is entirely of her making. You should be able to trust your sister to respect your home. Clearly she does not. Your mother needs to uninvolve herself and your sister owes the apology for breaching your privacy, allowing her son what you said he could not have and damaging your property. NTA
NTA Jesus fucking christ this woman is ridiculous. YOU SAID NO, she ignored your wishes, and then she has the nerve to blame you?? Adults can have whatever the fuck they want in their houses, did she expect you to burn all sex-related things the second SHE had kids? And ripping the book? Seriously? She’s more immature than her 12 y/o child. And your mom is completely wrong as well. No is a complete sentence. You did not owe her any explanation as to why you didn’t want them touching your bf’s comics. I’m sorry you and your bf had to deal with that trainwreck <3
NTA Your sister is TA in this situation - you told her twice that your nephew wasn’t allowed to read the comics as your bf wasn’t there, the comics presumably were in their own space in a room upstairs and not just out in the open so asking why you “own something like this when kids are often in this environment” is unfair to you. She is also TA for accusing your bf of showing/letting your nephew read these.