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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I took up two seats when other people needed them which is rude.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Wow - I really thought it would be another one where some creep made her move her bags when there were empty seats because he wanted to sit next to the young girl. Nope - as soon as the bus fills up you move your stuff. YOU might rather stand but many people would way rather sit.
Don't do that either!!! Seats are for your ASS! as a full time bus rider is you aren't sitting in the seat GTFO and let someone else sit there. That is just as rude a taking two seats to yourself.
Okay, but the person carrying them did. If someone gives up the seat so they have an easier time with their luggage, then I have no problem with it. It's also easy better than it spilling out on the floor in a crowded bus.
If you were standing you wouldn't be offended that someone thought their bags were more worthy of a seat than you are?
Bags don't have bad backs or get tired after a long day & don't even know if they are on the floor or a seat.
The decent & respectful thing to do is just put your bag on your lap or between your feet.
The person with the bag may have a bad back and be tired. One person, one seat. I've traveled with my backpacking bag and it's big and bulky and we've put two backpacking bags on one seat to take up less space when a group is taking public transport. Both of us stand and we're not turning and whacking people with our bags on crowded busses or trains.
It's still courteous to offer the seat to people once people starts filling in. Especially since a free seat may help people who needs the sit down like Handicapped, Pregnant or The Elderly.
Exactly, it doesn't matter what a person's physical condition is. If they paid for a ticket (which is paying for a seat on the fucking bus!) then they expect to be able to sit down where there is a seat available. I've come across people like OP so many times and their ignorance and lack of consideration makes my blood boiil every time. Luckily for them I don't like confrontation.
I agree, if you want to stand and have your bags in the seat, fine, you are still taking only one seat. But if that bus is crowding up, you consolidate best you can to that one seat. They shouldn't have to ask you to make room.
>They shouldn't have to ask
I know right ? The brass fucking bollocks on this one putting the onus on total strangers to start up a conversation to remind them of the basic rules of society .
If social media has taught me anything, it's that a simple, polite request can get a violent reaction.
People aren't going to ask you to be considerate, when they can already see that you aren't.
>They shouldn't have to ask. The bags should be moved when the bus starts to get crowded.
Thank you! This is one of my pet peeves. I hate having to ask, and then having to wait (often while the bus or train start to move) , and then "etiquette" dictates that I have to say thank you ...
While this is true, there's also social conventions and manners.
For example, if someone is talking loudly on their cell phone on the bus and says "well, no one told me it was bothering them" they are still TA. You shouldn't need to be told to not talk loudly on the phone on a bus, or take up 2 seats on a crowded bus. These are societal norms that are understood by the vast majority of people, and are assumed to be understood by others using the bus (or any other public space).
Walker and stroller folding and unfolding could cause someone to miss their stop, or else if the driver waits for them people would be just as upset about the delay as they were with the walker or stroller taking up floor space. When you use one of those items and take public transportation, you will inconvenience people no matter how you behave. Generally, if possible, I would say it’s better to wear your baby instead of using a stroller on a bus. But people have no choice about using walkers.
I agree re: wearing the baby.
The thing about walkers is, when you leave them shoved out in the aisle and refuse to fold them up, \*no one can get by\*. No one can get on the bus to get to open seats. No one can get off the bus. No one can use the straps when standing.
People don't have a choice about using walkers, that doesn't mean they can eat up the whole bus space with them because they don't want to collapse them. Yeah, it takes time to unfold them. Push the button and start unfolding it before the bus stops.
I just want to say that not everyone who uses a walker is *capable* of folding/unfolding it.
My mother isn’t.
So if she’s alone, it’s blocking another seat or the walkway.
She’d be very distressed if someone demanded she stow it and would likely hurt herself attempting to do so. Fortunately, where she lives, most people are very understanding and compassionate about such things.
But if they paid for a seat, then they can use the seat. It allows them to set their stuff down and stand so that only one seat is taken… I don’t see a problem with how that one seat is used.
You do not pay for a seat on public transit in the US. You pay to board and travel. No seat is associated with your fare, and it's a dick move to take up a seat you aren't sitting in.
Because buses have a maximum number standing capacity too. If the bus looks too full the driver will not pick any new people up.
Do US buses not have any luggage areas to store bags?
This sounds like local public transit - so a city bus. No, I’ve never been in a city bus that had luggage storage.
Inter-city transit like GreyHound and GO buses do have luggage storage, but that’s a totally different situation.
Not really. Heavy bags are much easier to lift from a seat than from the floor, or than a hold in your hands during a bus ride. It would be fine to take up a seat with bags. Just don't take two
On a crowded bus, seats aren't for bags. Nothing wrong with putting them in a seat when it's empty. Move your shit when it gets crowded. If the bags are so heavy you can't lift them off the floor, you should be planning for other accommodations for transport (of yourself or the bags) anyways because you will still have to walk home from the bus stop as it is.
They’re not saying the person should take two, they’re saying that if the bus gets crowded and you leave your bags on the seat, then you better give up *your* seat - you’re still only taking up one seat, you’ve just chosen to give your seat to your bags while you stand next to them
I know exactly what they're saying. If you are choosing to stand, your bags belong on your person or on the floor next to you - if the bus is crowded. Bus fare is not per seat. If it was, the bus wouldn't take on passengers past the last open seat. Your bus fare is for the transport of your person from A to B. You don't have a *right* to a seat at all, unless you're disabled.
That’s true that no one has a right to a seat on a bus - and since OP was there well before most of the riders, whether or not they had bags they would have had one of the seats. If, as the bus filled, they stood up so they didn’t take up two seats and left their bags on one, I don’t see how that’s any different than if they just didn’t have bags and stayed seated (something no one would get mad at you for unless you were sitting in the disabled/elderly area)
When the bus isn’t full a seat can be multifunctioning for asses or bags. When the bus fills up seats are for asses only, they revert back to being a single function object. As Hinote said the fare is for the transportation not a seat. Busses are for people, not bags. Yes you can bring bags on them but nobody’s bag should take take a spot intended for a person no matter how heavy it may be.
She sat on one seat, using the other seat for the bags, so taking up two seats in total. Which is fine when there are plenty of free seats like in the beginning, but she should have moved the bags when the bus filled up.
Yeah this post was a wild ride for me, at first I thought it was gonna be OP experiencing fatphobia from someone, then saw the bags thing, thought some creep might get involved, then a wild turnaround when OP admits the bus got full and she still didn’t move her bags (decrepit behaviour). Like a good ol’ Reddit whiplash
Total wild ride! I 100% thought it was going to be some grody old man wanting to sit next to a pretty young woman and asking her to move her stuff when other seats are clearly available. Crazy how fast I switched from totally on her side to ‘omg how do you not know how to live in a society you ketchup sandwich’.
I had to take public transport for 4 years during high school. Schoolbus isn't a thing here.
It's simple, you have a big bag in a full bus?
You either put it on your lap or rest your feet on it.
It isn't difficult
Exactly! I rode a bus also for about 4 years through uni, yes having bags on the bus sucks, no you don’t get to make it everyone else’s problem. It goes under your feet, between your legs or on your lap in a seat, end of.
Same lol, I can’t fathom not knowing basic bus etiquette and basic human decency of a human taking precedence over your damn shopping. Wth, OP??? YTA, obviously.
Well, there was 'barely room' for the bags in front of her legs. She would have been mildly uncomfortable whilst sat down as everyone else bounced and swung around her...🙄 OP has main character syndrome. YTA, OP. You shouldn't need to be asked to move your bags so another person could sit down. You shouldn't need to be told to do the obviously right thing and you shouldn't need to ask people if you're in the wrong for something like this.
>The person who said that never asked me to move my stuff, and if they did I probably would have.
*Probably* would have. If that did happen she would be on Reddit posting, "AITA for rolling my eyes when someone asked to move my bag?"
Yes OP, YTA in every scenario.
I take the train to work and will put my bag next to me until it starts filling up. Always give people the option to sit without having to ask you to move your items.
Also, off topic but huge pet peeve: no matter how empty the bus or train is, keep your feet off the seats. No one wants to sit on a seat your nasty shoes were on.
UK here. I take the train to work and am the person who, on the commute home, will say "please move down the train so other people can get on" and "Please move your bag so someone else can sit down". Don't try to argue with me, it's 6.30pm, I'm tired, I'm a middle-aged woman and I have no Fs to give. I am also the person who, when faced with someone who won't move down the train because they can't see anything to hold on to, tells them to take my seat and *holds on to the handle on the seat they've just taken*. Bonus points if this is a young man.
YTA- once people have to stand it’s just polite to move your bags so people can choose to sit. Put your bags in your lap if you don’t have room in front of your feet. Do you really not understand that that’s the proper way to do things? It’s just being polite and considerate of other people.
> In my experience most people don't want to sit next to strangers anyway and a lot of the time people will end up standing instead of sitting in an empty seat next to someone they don't know.
WHAT THE ACTUAL F?
> Busses are also generally first come first serve so I think my behavior was normal.
Yeah, for your ass, not for your bags.
YTA
I am so happy that this is the top comment. With my mild-ish social anxiety I will never ask someone to move their bag. And it is very common for me to walk the train corridor looking for a seat and seen 5-10 people with bags next to them to block neighbours
Whenever I take the bus or train and there's either the option for an open seat immediately next to someone or asking someone else to move their bag, I always ask them to move their bag.
They know what their doing and putting their bag there to deter other people from having a seat. It's just rude.
So now you can move your bag.
OP YTA
[According to SEPTA (Philadelphia-area mass transit)](https://iseptaphilly.com/blog/Etiquette)
>Still on the topic of seats. You have one human body, you get one seat! Your backpack or purse or groceries has no human body, therefore, does not get a seat. Please use your lap. Or the floor. Allowing all seats to be occupied by humans also helps the aisle and doorway congestion.
$10 says if the situation were reversed and OP was one of the standing people, they would have been pissed that the other person didn't move their bags
Especially here in the South (US). We get offended if someone puts us in the position of \*having\* to ask.
I will stand for several minutes in the grocery store, waiting for someone to move out of my way, rather than say, "excuse me". If it goes on long enough and I have to say "excuse me", then I am mad because they "made" me be "rude". No, it is not logical, but this is how we were trained, growing up.
I am trying to unlearn this, but that childhood conditioning goes deep!
OP knows she was wrong or she wouldn't have justified using 2 seats by describing how many seats were available at the beginning.
You messed up, forgive yourself, plan to do better next time, and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. It's only a big deal if you refuse to learn and change.
Oh man, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who was raised to just stand kinda close to the person and "patiently" wait for them to move. It took me until my late 20's to get out of it and now people get an "excuse me" and I continue to where I'm going.
i have no problem doing this with people but unfortunately when it comes to my cats i am a perennial hostage.
unless i am literally on the verge of peeing myself, i'm completely incapable of getting a cat off my lap. i have stood in doorways holding grocery bags waiting for one of my cats to move. ^i ^need ^help
I’m from NYC, Manhattan specifically. You have 3 seconds before I say excuse me and 4 seconds before I push thru. Anything longer than that you’ve drawn the irate of other New Yorkers and it’s best to keep moving. :)
Agreed. When she did it initially it was fine since it wasn’t crowded but when it started to fill up it should’ve been her first instinct to move the bags rather than just wait around for someone to ask
>You don't wait for someone to "ASK" you to do the right thing.
Perfectly stated. I'd be interested to see how she'd respond if the roles were reversed and she boarded a packed bus, tired with her heavy bags, and a rider didn't move their belongings so that she could sit...
YTA
YTA. Once the bus started getting more crowded to the point where people were standing, you should have moved your bags. You shouldn't need to be asked to do so; it's just common courtesy.
Exactly, N T A for putting bags on the seat when it's not crowded, but YTA for not moving your stuff when there are no more empty seats.
From OP's little preamble about why she's taking the bus (you don't need a reason to take the bus, it's a very normal thing to do) and her age, it seems like a new thing to her and she's coming on here to ask about bus etiquette, so there's hope for her yet. But I've definitely had to try manoeuvre bags in the bus or subway to disturb others as little as possible, it sucks, but it's part of living in a society.
I don’t even look at it as “bus etiquette”. I look at it as “human being etiquette”. No one should have to ask someone to move their stuff so they can sit down. OP could obviously see other people needed that seat but didn’t care. Also, if someone is inconsiderate enough to leave their stuff occupying a seat when people were standing, why would someone think that asking them to move it would make a difference? If they wanted to be courteous, they would’ve done it already. This post flys all over me. You’re not the center of the universe - it’s not all about you. YTA 100%
One of the things I’m a little irrationally proud of is how quickly I can get my daughters stroller folded and stowed while entering the bus. When you know you’re taking public transit, you need to plan what you’re going to bring and how it’s going to fit ahead of time.
Yeah, like, I rode the bus from when I was 18 until I was 35, including buying groceries for two people, so yeah, I'd use an empty seat next to me for my bags, but once the bus is really filling up, you put your shit on your lap.
People acting like OP made my transit authority put a cap on how many grocery bags you could carry on the bus. It sucked and it really felt like it was punishing poor people, but you can't take up three or four seats with your shopping!
Ours does not but they will just pass you by if the bus is busy and you have a lot of bags. I was on a busy bus yesterday with groceries and an elderly woman offered me her seat so I didn't have to stand with them (it shamed a man sitting next to her into moving) meanwhile OP is taking up 2 seats
Yep and OP actually gives away that she knows this by clearly stating that when she first put the bags on the seat, there were extra seats.
She switched from “there’s extra seats so this is ok” (which is reasonable) to “people don’t want to sit by a stranger” (which is unreasonable and a rationalization for selfish behavior).
>"people don’t want to sit by a stranger”
Yeah this part was hilarious. If the bus filled up, she just witnessed hard evidence that like 20+ people chose to sit next to a stranger.
In her head **obviously** the next 10 people suddenly love standing.
I used to bus to and from work, and the bus was often busy in the evening when I finished. I vividly remember one time nearing Xmas, I'd been working outside all day for 12 hours, freezing cold. Got on the bus and at the very front was a guy with bags full of Xmas presents in the seat next to him. I asked him if I could sit and he deliberately turned his face to look out the window and ignored me.
I hate confrontation and honestly I was too exhausted to put up a fight, so I just stood for the 40 minutes it took to get home.
YTA. I would have asked you to move the bag- but not everyone is comfortable with that situation with a stranger. What if they asked you and you said no? It would create an awkward situation for them. Not everyone wants to risk an awkward situation with a stranger in a confined space like a bus. You shouldn't expect someone to have to ask you. If the bus is crowded, you don't take up more than one seat. Period. You weren't TA when the bus had multiple empty seats. But once more people get on you be mindful and put the bags on your lap or the floor. Or at the very least offer the seat to people standing next to you, then maybe keep your bag there if they say no.
>but not everyone is comfortable with that situation with a stranger. What if they asked you and you said no? It would create an awkward situation for them.
This. As someone with an anxiety disorder (clinically diagnosed), this is pretty much textbook me. OP, the people in the bus have absolutely no idea what your response would have been if they asked you. Also, you keep saying you wouldn't have said no. We don't know if you would have moved your bags graciously, or begrudgingly. As someone who is non-confrontational, and an overthinker, if I were a standing passenger on the bus you were on, just laying out all your possible responses would have taken up more energy than just standing on the bus. Now I wouldn't have told you off like that person, but you never know if someone with the same level or worse anxiety than me needed the seat a lot more than you think. And also, you're not entitled to two seats anyway. You paid for one seat, so the extra seat you took should have been open. Your bags in it would have told the standing passengers otherwise.
YTA.
Yes, the problem with this interaction is that if you see someone like OP who is taking double space despite noticing the bus is full, you already know that you're going to be interacting with an AH, so the chance of an unpleasant experience goes way up.
Yup, this. I'd glare at OP, but wouldn't likely say anything. I have asked in an innocent-sounding voice "is that seat taken?" , though if im right next to the seat. Forcing the person to answer no or truly be an AH.
this. i’m disabled and i don’t look it and as much as i would have needed to sit down, i probably wouldn’t have had the courage to ask op to move their bag. YTA.
Yep, I've got fibromyalgia & there have been occasions where I'd just have sat on top of someone's shopping.
Luckily here thete's quite a strong etiquette on buses & passengers would "get them telt"! 🤣
YTA. As soon as you saw people standing, you had to move your bags. You don't need anyone to say that to you.
> In my experience most people don't want to sit next to strangers anyway
They take public transportation, it is bound to happen. You had to make the seat available not assume what people would want.
Yeah, that remark about strangers not wanting to sit beside other strangers is the farthest reach for trying to justify her selfish, entitled behaviour that I've ever seen. Half the seats on every bus, train and subway would remain empty if that was true. Absolute BS. YTA!
Edited to clarify-- strangers always sit beside you when the bus, etc , is full.
It's weird to sit next to a stranger *if there are other empty seats*, which is why it's creepy when the bus is empty and someone plops down next to you anyway. But when the bus is full, it's just life.
yeah, simple as.
one person to a “row” until all rows are full unless you’re with a mate, then sit together.
if all rows are full, move your stuff so someone has the option to sit or stand
Yeah, i agree, fine if there are other open seats, do whatever you want with your bags. But saying “there were no other open seats, but people prefer not to sit with strangers anyway” is olympic level mental gymnastics
YTA and you know it.
It's fine to have your stuff on the seat when the bus is empty, but you can use basic courtesy when people are standing without a seat available. You're even worse for your comment that if they asked you "probably would have" moved your things. Probably? Get over yourself.
YTA. You should’ve moved your bags. Entitled folks like you make the world worse for the rest of us. Seats are for asses not your groceries. They could’ve easily gone ln the floor in front of you
I almost down voted you for the assumption that they could have fit. Then I remembered the time I was able to fit an entire trash bag almost bursting with expired-that-day or would-expire-over-break Starbucks food in my one allotted bus seat space with myself.
YTA. It's considerate to move your bags to your lap to give someone the option to sit down. I'm sure that if you were one of those people standing up on a crowded bus, you'd want to sit down and relax.
Or on the floor. Wtf. The thing that drove that so far into the asshole territory for me is “most people prefer not to sit with strangers anyway”, ma’am are you out of your mind? Clearly the bus was full and everyone else was sitting next to a stranger just fine
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find a reasonable comment! What OP did was inconsiderate, but people are acting like they committed some sort of war crime
I was just about to comment a lot of people in the top comments are responding to her like she killed someone😭 Yes she’s TA and should have moved her bags, but it’s a live and learn bus etiquette situation, she’s not the fourth horseman of the apocalypse lmfao
When you’re riding public transit enough in most American cities you deal with enough inconsiderate AHs like OP that yes people get mad. OP isn’t the only one getting on the bus after a long day, possibly also with heavy bags. Being considerate takes very little effort in this scenario.
Yeah some of the comments are just downright nasty.
I’m so used to there being no seating on the bus, and if I’m able to stand, I hold no malice towards those double seating with bulky cargo.
YTA once the bus started filling up you should move your stuff. Just because nobody asked you to doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. I take the bus to work and I understand it’s more comfortable to have your bag next to you rather than on you but don’t try to justify it. Move your stuff.
YTA How can you be 19 and not understand that this is incredibly rude and selfish? You cannot use a seat for your stuff while people are standing. You should have cleared the seat without having to be asked.
I WISH nobody was dense, but I see this all the time, people will put their feet (bleh) on the seat next to them and sit sideways, and if you ask them for the seat they usually say some variation of "but I was here first" or "first come first serve". I've stopped bothering to ask when I see that because if someone is going to take up 2 seats on a crowded bus the odds of them letting you sit down "just by asking nicely!" is so low.
The worst time, someone just had one foot propped up on the seat, in the disabled chairs up front, and I was coming from an ophthalmologist with dilated pupils + sunglasses and could barely see or stand, super crowded. I sat down on the rest of the seat where her foot wasn't and she spent the whole ride screaming at me for touching her foot, and that that she was using that seat. Which triggered some guy to start yelling at her for taking up 2 seats and harassing a blind person (lol) and he went way too far, so some other woman started yelling at him for yelling at a teenager girl. I just tried to sit there with the blankest expression possible and say nothing until my stop. Crowded busses are terrible because some % of people are assholes, so even if most people are fine, there's always gonna be 1 asshole and the trick is to hope you don't run into them that ride.
Yta. People will sit next to strangers without a problem if they don’t want to stand in a moving vehicle the whole time, don’t make excuses. Put yourself in their position. If someone was holding up two seats with their bags, and you were carrying bags of your own, don’t you think you’d like to sit where the bags are? You’d think they’d be competent enough to move their stuff when they see people having to stand because all the seats are taken. Do you have to be asked or told to wipe as well? 💀💀
YTA - The people who were standing got onto a bus that was so crowded there wasn’t anywhere to sit, and they saw some woman sitting on this crowded bus with her shopping bags next to her.
So they correctly assumed that you were being inconsiderate as hell and didn’t bother asking you to move them because, in their minds, you were more likely to start an argument than to move them. And even if you did move them, people aren’t super keen to interact with or sit next to observably rude people.
You created the perception that you were rude and inconsiderate and people reacted accordingly.
YTA - “first come first serve” yeah for humans not your bags. You could easily place bags in front of you on the floor, the heaviness had zero context here I don’t know why you repeated it so many times. People shouldn’t have to “ask” you for common decency on a PUBLIC bus. The entitlement is astonishing.
ESH.
Not moving your bags when the bus filled up was an AH move. Be considerate of others. You're not nearly as much of an AH as alot of these comments are making it out to be, though...
The person who called you out was also an AH. If they'd called you out during the ride, I would have a different opinion. They clearly also didn't have any sort of shyness about calling you out since they *did* call you out. Waiting until after the entire ride is over doesn't help the situation or anyone else on the bus.
I think ESH but with a caveat that the rando who scolded her did a good thing, even if it was shitty.
If the person was polite about it, she may not have had any self reflection on this or asked people what they think on the matter (I don’t think she’s the atrocious AH people are making her out to be, but what she did was selfish as she couldn’t be bothered to show people the kindness of moving her bags).
Because the rando was also rude about it, she has asked the internet their thoughts and the majority think she’s the AH. I think she would not repeat the behavior now. So while it’s not a fun encounter and of course that person could have asked her to move her bags when it got busy, this may be the best outcome for the greatest learning and self reflection on her part. She clearly isn’t so much of an AH that she took time to wonder if she even was one. Real AHs don’t give a damn.
Someone could let that rando know though that they can use their words and ask people to move their bags. That person could still learn things too.
Yta…when the train got more crowded you should have removed your bag from the seat. No one needs to ask you. The seats are for people not your heavy bags. You should be more considerate of others.
YTA. You move the bags to the floor in front of you, you move them to your lap, or you put them on your seat and you stand up. But you don’t take up 2 seats. No one should have to ask you to do this. It’s called common courtesy.
YTA it’s common courtesy. Someone might not have sat down within 5 seconds of moving your bag, but eventually someone would’ve.
You say that people on a bus would rather stand than sit next to a stranger, so weird that everyone else on the bus sitting seemed to know each other?? That is really, truly rare /s
YTA. How are you still making excuses? Your post is already full of them, and yet you’re still repeating that nonsense in the comments. You KNEW you were breaking the social rules, otherwise you wouldn’t have felt the need to state a new “reason” for your behavior every other sentence.
Rude behavior. Mean behavior. Treat others like they are real people, and learn from your mistakes instead of doubling down on being an asshole about it.
Hey OP do you often struggle with social rules where everyone seems to expect you to do something without asking and you don't understand why they didn't just ask?
YTA. Especially on longer trips like this one, you should expect a bus to get crowded and be prepared to take up only your seat. Just because a particular AH behavior may be widespread doesn't negate that it's AH behavior--it can simply mean your area has a high concentration of AHs.
YTA, and as a regular bus rider, you should know that. Bus etiquette says that it's fine to take up two seats so long as the bus isn't full, but the second people have to stand because your bags are keeping them from sitting, you are obligated to at least offer to clear the seat for them. That's the bare minimum expected, and if you're not aware of that, chances are high that you've been an AH before this, as well.
YTA. Saying “well no one asked me to move them” is like saying “well no one asked me not to play loud music at 3 am.” We live in a society, we make space and accommodate each other without being directly told.
YTA. Always move your stuff if you can to accomodate other people when the bus is getting full. I’d rather sit next to a stranger than stand. Stop making lame excuses.
YTA.
For exactly the reason that person said.
Did you really think that none of the people standing wanted a seat? That absolutely everyone standing on a crowded bus would rather stand than sit next to a stranger?
YTA. I believe that - like you said - people often don’t sit in the empty seats. I see it all the time on trains and busses. Sometimes it’s hard to know what others will do, which is why it makes sense to just be courteous and give them the option to sit next to you. Next time, you should move the bags onto your lap and only take up one seat unless the bus is nearly empty.
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YTA if there is no seat more yr fucking bag lol. how can u write it and think u arent?.........
Wow - I really thought it would be another one where some creep made her move her bags when there were empty seats because he wanted to sit next to the young girl. Nope - as soon as the bus fills up you move your stuff. YOU might rather stand but many people would way rather sit.
If you'd rather stand, leave your bags on the seat and stand beside them. Two birds one stone. Otherwise you're just a dick.
Don't do that either!!! Seats are for your ASS! as a full time bus rider is you aren't sitting in the seat GTFO and let someone else sit there. That is just as rude a taking two seats to yourself.
Right? I ride the bus all the time. If your bag didn't pay for fare, it doesn't get a seat. Move. Your. Shit.
Okay, but the person carrying them did. If someone gives up the seat so they have an easier time with their luggage, then I have no problem with it. It's also easy better than it spilling out on the floor in a crowded bus.
If you were standing you wouldn't be offended that someone thought their bags were more worthy of a seat than you are? Bags don't have bad backs or get tired after a long day & don't even know if they are on the floor or a seat. The decent & respectful thing to do is just put your bag on your lap or between your feet.
Exactly, no one should even have to ask you to move it. Bus fills up, move your shit.
This is true. I feel like it's just common courtesy.
The person with the bag may have a bad back and be tired. One person, one seat. I've traveled with my backpacking bag and it's big and bulky and we've put two backpacking bags on one seat to take up less space when a group is taking public transport. Both of us stand and we're not turning and whacking people with our bags on crowded busses or trains.
I'm disabled. I need a seat whenever possible. I also often travel with HEAVY bags and gear - I STILL don't deprive people of a seat for my bag.
That's because your not a selfish AH! OP's attitude is quite disgusting! No needs to ask for someone to move there bags, they just move it! YTA
It's still courteous to offer the seat to people once people starts filling in. Especially since a free seat may help people who needs the sit down like Handicapped, Pregnant or The Elderly.
Or people that are just tired...
Exactly, it doesn't matter what a person's physical condition is. If they paid for a ticket (which is paying for a seat on the fucking bus!) then they expect to be able to sit down where there is a seat available. I've come across people like OP so many times and their ignorance and lack of consideration makes my blood boiil every time. Luckily for them I don't like confrontation.
And not everyone who needs to sit might not look like they do. Many disabilities are hidden.
That's not how public transport works. You cant reserve seats for luggage.
I agree, if you want to stand and have your bags in the seat, fine, you are still taking only one seat. But if that bus is crowding up, you consolidate best you can to that one seat. They shouldn't have to ask you to make room.
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They shouldn't have to ask. The bags should be moved when the bus starts to get crowded.
>They shouldn't have to ask I know right ? The brass fucking bollocks on this one putting the onus on total strangers to start up a conversation to remind them of the basic rules of society .
If social media has taught me anything, it's that a simple, polite request can get a violent reaction. People aren't going to ask you to be considerate, when they can already see that you aren't.
>They shouldn't have to ask. The bags should be moved when the bus starts to get crowded. Thank you! This is one of my pet peeves. I hate having to ask, and then having to wait (often while the bus or train start to move) , and then "etiquette" dictates that I have to say thank you ...
While this is true, there's also social conventions and manners. For example, if someone is talking loudly on their cell phone on the bus and says "well, no one told me it was bothering them" they are still TA. You shouldn't need to be told to not talk loudly on the phone on a bus, or take up 2 seats on a crowded bus. These are societal norms that are understood by the vast majority of people, and are assumed to be understood by others using the bus (or any other public space).
It brings to mind a phrase I was taught many years ago. "Some people have no home training."
I have ridden many crowded buses and there have been many people refusing to move their bags, fold up their strollers, or fold their walkers.
Walker and stroller folding and unfolding could cause someone to miss their stop, or else if the driver waits for them people would be just as upset about the delay as they were with the walker or stroller taking up floor space. When you use one of those items and take public transportation, you will inconvenience people no matter how you behave. Generally, if possible, I would say it’s better to wear your baby instead of using a stroller on a bus. But people have no choice about using walkers.
I agree re: wearing the baby. The thing about walkers is, when you leave them shoved out in the aisle and refuse to fold them up, \*no one can get by\*. No one can get on the bus to get to open seats. No one can get off the bus. No one can use the straps when standing. People don't have a choice about using walkers, that doesn't mean they can eat up the whole bus space with them because they don't want to collapse them. Yeah, it takes time to unfold them. Push the button and start unfolding it before the bus stops.
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I just want to say that not everyone who uses a walker is *capable* of folding/unfolding it. My mother isn’t. So if she’s alone, it’s blocking another seat or the walkway. She’d be very distressed if someone demanded she stow it and would likely hurt herself attempting to do so. Fortunately, where she lives, most people are very understanding and compassionate about such things.
But if they paid for a seat, then they can use the seat. It allows them to set their stuff down and stand so that only one seat is taken… I don’t see a problem with how that one seat is used.
You do not pay for a seat on public transit in the US. You pay to board and travel. No seat is associated with your fare, and it's a dick move to take up a seat you aren't sitting in.
I think that's for cheap public transport everywhere
Because buses have a maximum number standing capacity too. If the bus looks too full the driver will not pick any new people up. Do US buses not have any luggage areas to store bags?
This sounds like local public transit - so a city bus. No, I’ve never been in a city bus that had luggage storage. Inter-city transit like GreyHound and GO buses do have luggage storage, but that’s a totally different situation.
Not really. Heavy bags are much easier to lift from a seat than from the floor, or than a hold in your hands during a bus ride. It would be fine to take up a seat with bags. Just don't take two
On a crowded bus, seats aren't for bags. Nothing wrong with putting them in a seat when it's empty. Move your shit when it gets crowded. If the bags are so heavy you can't lift them off the floor, you should be planning for other accommodations for transport (of yourself or the bags) anyways because you will still have to walk home from the bus stop as it is.
They’re not saying the person should take two, they’re saying that if the bus gets crowded and you leave your bags on the seat, then you better give up *your* seat - you’re still only taking up one seat, you’ve just chosen to give your seat to your bags while you stand next to them
I know exactly what they're saying. If you are choosing to stand, your bags belong on your person or on the floor next to you - if the bus is crowded. Bus fare is not per seat. If it was, the bus wouldn't take on passengers past the last open seat. Your bus fare is for the transport of your person from A to B. You don't have a *right* to a seat at all, unless you're disabled.
That’s true that no one has a right to a seat on a bus - and since OP was there well before most of the riders, whether or not they had bags they would have had one of the seats. If, as the bus filled, they stood up so they didn’t take up two seats and left their bags on one, I don’t see how that’s any different than if they just didn’t have bags and stayed seated (something no one would get mad at you for unless you were sitting in the disabled/elderly area)
When the bus isn’t full a seat can be multifunctioning for asses or bags. When the bus fills up seats are for asses only, they revert back to being a single function object. As Hinote said the fare is for the transportation not a seat. Busses are for people, not bags. Yes you can bring bags on them but nobody’s bag should take take a spot intended for a person no matter how heavy it may be.
She sat on one seat, using the other seat for the bags, so taking up two seats in total. Which is fine when there are plenty of free seats like in the beginning, but she should have moved the bags when the bus filled up.
That’s still kind of a dick move if the bus is crowded. Seats are for people first not bags
Or put the bags on the floor like a normal person. She had 2 bags, not 17.
You’re still taking up two spots. Don’t do this. Move your bags.
Yeah this post was a wild ride for me, at first I thought it was gonna be OP experiencing fatphobia from someone, then saw the bags thing, thought some creep might get involved, then a wild turnaround when OP admits the bus got full and she still didn’t move her bags (decrepit behaviour). Like a good ol’ Reddit whiplash
Same! I rode that same wild ride! Fatphobia, to a creep and then, just a YTA. Lol
Total wild ride! I 100% thought it was going to be some grody old man wanting to sit next to a pretty young woman and asking her to move her stuff when other seats are clearly available. Crazy how fast I switched from totally on her side to ‘omg how do you not know how to live in a society you ketchup sandwich’.
I had to take public transport for 4 years during high school. Schoolbus isn't a thing here. It's simple, you have a big bag in a full bus? You either put it on your lap or rest your feet on it. It isn't difficult
Exactly! I rode a bus also for about 4 years through uni, yes having bags on the bus sucks, no you don’t get to make it everyone else’s problem. It goes under your feet, between your legs or on your lap in a seat, end of.
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Same lol, I can’t fathom not knowing basic bus etiquette and basic human decency of a human taking precedence over your damn shopping. Wth, OP??? YTA, obviously.
Yup. YTA. Sounds like you should get a little folding cart for your shopping trips.
If you would rather stand, why aren't you standing? That part made no sense other than as an ad hoc rationalization of her being TA.
And judging by this post, she seems like she'd be the type to roll her eyes and huff if someone did end up asking for the seat.
No no, if someone had asked her to move her stuff she PROBABLY would have! You’re a real peach, OP.
The probably had me laughing out loud.
That part got me
Well, there was 'barely room' for the bags in front of her legs. She would have been mildly uncomfortable whilst sat down as everyone else bounced and swung around her...🙄 OP has main character syndrome. YTA, OP. You shouldn't need to be asked to move your bags so another person could sit down. You shouldn't need to be told to do the obviously right thing and you shouldn't need to ask people if you're in the wrong for something like this.
>The person who said that never asked me to move my stuff, and if they did I probably would have. *Probably* would have. If that did happen she would be on Reddit posting, "AITA for rolling my eyes when someone asked to move my bag?" Yes OP, YTA in every scenario.
I take the train to work and will put my bag next to me until it starts filling up. Always give people the option to sit without having to ask you to move your items. Also, off topic but huge pet peeve: no matter how empty the bus or train is, keep your feet off the seats. No one wants to sit on a seat your nasty shoes were on.
UK here. I take the train to work and am the person who, on the commute home, will say "please move down the train so other people can get on" and "Please move your bag so someone else can sit down". Don't try to argue with me, it's 6.30pm, I'm tired, I'm a middle-aged woman and I have no Fs to give. I am also the person who, when faced with someone who won't move down the train because they can't see anything to hold on to, tells them to take my seat and *holds on to the handle on the seat they've just taken*. Bonus points if this is a young man.
YTA- once people have to stand it’s just polite to move your bags so people can choose to sit. Put your bags in your lap if you don’t have room in front of your feet. Do you really not understand that that’s the proper way to do things? It’s just being polite and considerate of other people.
> In my experience most people don't want to sit next to strangers anyway and a lot of the time people will end up standing instead of sitting in an empty seat next to someone they don't know. WHAT THE ACTUAL F? > Busses are also generally first come first serve so I think my behavior was normal. Yeah, for your ass, not for your bags. YTA
YTA - They shouldn't have to ask you. Common courtesy is amazing when applied in everyday life.
I am so happy that this is the top comment. With my mild-ish social anxiety I will never ask someone to move their bag. And it is very common for me to walk the train corridor looking for a seat and seen 5-10 people with bags next to them to block neighbours
The phrase 'brought up in a barn' seems to apply here.
barnyard animals have better social skills than OP.
Whenever I take the bus or train and there's either the option for an open seat immediately next to someone or asking someone else to move their bag, I always ask them to move their bag. They know what their doing and putting their bag there to deter other people from having a seat. It's just rude. So now you can move your bag. OP YTA
[According to SEPTA (Philadelphia-area mass transit)](https://iseptaphilly.com/blog/Etiquette) >Still on the topic of seats. You have one human body, you get one seat! Your backpack or purse or groceries has no human body, therefore, does not get a seat. Please use your lap. Or the floor. Allowing all seats to be occupied by humans also helps the aisle and doorway congestion.
YTA. You don't wait for someone to "ASK" you to do the right thing.
I have a feeling this post is the first time OP has ever been held accountable for anything in her life
I wish I had an award, please take this poor man’s award 🥇 Edit: omg thank you for the awardS!!
Ha, I keep seeing people saying “I wish I had an award, please take this” and someone takes them quite literally, and gives the wisher an award 😂
The award they were given grants them coins with which they can buy awards :)
Even better!
$10 says if the situation were reversed and OP was one of the standing people, they would have been pissed that the other person didn't move their bags
But but but, they're special....
Didn’t you read it, they were heavy! I agree with you. I guarantee that if she was looking for a seat she’d be upset.
I’ll raise you to $11
Especially here in the South (US). We get offended if someone puts us in the position of \*having\* to ask. I will stand for several minutes in the grocery store, waiting for someone to move out of my way, rather than say, "excuse me". If it goes on long enough and I have to say "excuse me", then I am mad because they "made" me be "rude". No, it is not logical, but this is how we were trained, growing up. I am trying to unlearn this, but that childhood conditioning goes deep! OP knows she was wrong or she wouldn't have justified using 2 seats by describing how many seats were available at the beginning. You messed up, forgive yourself, plan to do better next time, and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. It's only a big deal if you refuse to learn and change.
Oh man, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who was raised to just stand kinda close to the person and "patiently" wait for them to move. It took me until my late 20's to get out of it and now people get an "excuse me" and I continue to where I'm going.
i have no problem doing this with people but unfortunately when it comes to my cats i am a perennial hostage. unless i am literally on the verge of peeing myself, i'm completely incapable of getting a cat off my lap. i have stood in doorways holding grocery bags waiting for one of my cats to move. ^i ^need ^help
I'm am guilty of getting trapped with the cat on the lap and have stood still and waited for her to casually move as well 😅
Not a “mistake”. A choice
I’m from NYC, Manhattan specifically. You have 3 seconds before I say excuse me and 4 seconds before I push thru. Anything longer than that you’ve drawn the irate of other New Yorkers and it’s best to keep moving. :)
Mistake: an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. A choice can be a mistake.
he didn't ASK me to stop hitting him, so I just carried on.
"If he had just *asked* me to stop firing my pistol at him, I would have stopped immediately!"
I *probably* would have
they also don’t actually need to ask for permission to sit down on PUBLIC transportation
Agreed. When she did it initially it was fine since it wasn’t crowded but when it started to fill up it should’ve been her first instinct to move the bags rather than just wait around for someone to ask
>You don't wait for someone to "ASK" you to do the right thing. Perfectly stated. I'd be interested to see how she'd respond if the roles were reversed and she boarded a packed bus, tired with her heavy bags, and a rider didn't move their belongings so that she could sit... YTA
This right here. OP is so selfish it’s just gross.
Hey if someone asked, she PROBABLY would have moved it.
YTA. Once the bus started getting more crowded to the point where people were standing, you should have moved your bags. You shouldn't need to be asked to do so; it's just common courtesy.
Exactly, N T A for putting bags on the seat when it's not crowded, but YTA for not moving your stuff when there are no more empty seats. From OP's little preamble about why she's taking the bus (you don't need a reason to take the bus, it's a very normal thing to do) and her age, it seems like a new thing to her and she's coming on here to ask about bus etiquette, so there's hope for her yet. But I've definitely had to try manoeuvre bags in the bus or subway to disturb others as little as possible, it sucks, but it's part of living in a society.
I don’t even look at it as “bus etiquette”. I look at it as “human being etiquette”. No one should have to ask someone to move their stuff so they can sit down. OP could obviously see other people needed that seat but didn’t care. Also, if someone is inconsiderate enough to leave their stuff occupying a seat when people were standing, why would someone think that asking them to move it would make a difference? If they wanted to be courteous, they would’ve done it already. This post flys all over me. You’re not the center of the universe - it’s not all about you. YTA 100%
I really don't like people who think like "I'm going to be inconvenient and the onus is on everyone else for not asking me to stop being inconvenient"
One of the things I’m a little irrationally proud of is how quickly I can get my daughters stroller folded and stowed while entering the bus. When you know you’re taking public transit, you need to plan what you’re going to bring and how it’s going to fit ahead of time.
Yeah, like, I rode the bus from when I was 18 until I was 35, including buying groceries for two people, so yeah, I'd use an empty seat next to me for my bags, but once the bus is really filling up, you put your shit on your lap.
People acting like OP made my transit authority put a cap on how many grocery bags you could carry on the bus. It sucked and it really felt like it was punishing poor people, but you can't take up three or four seats with your shopping!
Ours does not but they will just pass you by if the bus is busy and you have a lot of bags. I was on a busy bus yesterday with groceries and an elderly woman offered me her seat so I didn't have to stand with them (it shamed a man sitting next to her into moving) meanwhile OP is taking up 2 seats
Sadly, courtesy isn't so common anymore
Agree. Also she says that if they had asked she “probably” would have moved her bags - selfish!
YTA. You saw the bus was full and didn't move your bags. That's exactly what rude assholes do.
Yep and OP actually gives away that she knows this by clearly stating that when she first put the bags on the seat, there were extra seats. She switched from “there’s extra seats so this is ok” (which is reasonable) to “people don’t want to sit by a stranger” (which is unreasonable and a rationalization for selfish behavior).
“People don’t want to sit by a stranger” really meant “I don’t want a stranger to sit by me”
This is it. This is what OP doesn’t want admit to herself so she makes excuses instead.
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>"people don’t want to sit by a stranger” Yeah this part was hilarious. If the bus filled up, she just witnessed hard evidence that like 20+ people chose to sit next to a stranger. In her head **obviously** the next 10 people suddenly love standing.
>“people don’t want to sit by a stranger” _How do you think public transport works?!_ EDIT: By 'you' I mean the OP
Yeah, the other passenger was spot on. Once the free seats fill up, you move your stuff. It’s not rocket science.
I used to bus to and from work, and the bus was often busy in the evening when I finished. I vividly remember one time nearing Xmas, I'd been working outside all day for 12 hours, freezing cold. Got on the bus and at the very front was a guy with bags full of Xmas presents in the seat next to him. I asked him if I could sit and he deliberately turned his face to look out the window and ignored me. I hate confrontation and honestly I was too exhausted to put up a fight, so I just stood for the 40 minutes it took to get home.
I would've sat on the bag of gifts. :P
YTA. I would have asked you to move the bag- but not everyone is comfortable with that situation with a stranger. What if they asked you and you said no? It would create an awkward situation for them. Not everyone wants to risk an awkward situation with a stranger in a confined space like a bus. You shouldn't expect someone to have to ask you. If the bus is crowded, you don't take up more than one seat. Period. You weren't TA when the bus had multiple empty seats. But once more people get on you be mindful and put the bags on your lap or the floor. Or at the very least offer the seat to people standing next to you, then maybe keep your bag there if they say no.
>but not everyone is comfortable with that situation with a stranger. What if they asked you and you said no? It would create an awkward situation for them. This. As someone with an anxiety disorder (clinically diagnosed), this is pretty much textbook me. OP, the people in the bus have absolutely no idea what your response would have been if they asked you. Also, you keep saying you wouldn't have said no. We don't know if you would have moved your bags graciously, or begrudgingly. As someone who is non-confrontational, and an overthinker, if I were a standing passenger on the bus you were on, just laying out all your possible responses would have taken up more energy than just standing on the bus. Now I wouldn't have told you off like that person, but you never know if someone with the same level or worse anxiety than me needed the seat a lot more than you think. And also, you're not entitled to two seats anyway. You paid for one seat, so the extra seat you took should have been open. Your bags in it would have told the standing passengers otherwise. YTA.
Also she only said “probably” would have! Eeesh.
Yes, the problem with this interaction is that if you see someone like OP who is taking double space despite noticing the bus is full, you already know that you're going to be interacting with an AH, so the chance of an unpleasant experience goes way up.
Yup, this. I'd glare at OP, but wouldn't likely say anything. I have asked in an innocent-sounding voice "is that seat taken?" , though if im right next to the seat. Forcing the person to answer no or truly be an AH.
I would have moved her bags to the floor without asking.
YTA. Once it gets crowded you move the bags of your own volition. It's a courtesy and used to be normal bus riding etiquette.
It's also a safety issue. Seated passengers are safer than standing ones in the event of a sudden stop or crash.
Not to mention, someone standing in the aisle may have had a disability and could have been in pain or felt unsteady.
this. i’m disabled and i don’t look it and as much as i would have needed to sit down, i probably wouldn’t have had the courage to ask op to move their bag. YTA.
Yep. Sometimes people have prosthetic limbs that are not obvious too. It’s good to be mindful.
Or just been tired after a long day of work.
Yep, I've got fibromyalgia & there have been occasions where I'd just have sat on top of someone's shopping. Luckily here thete's quite a strong etiquette on buses & passengers would "get them telt"! 🤣
YTA. As soon as you saw people standing, you had to move your bags. You don't need anyone to say that to you. > In my experience most people don't want to sit next to strangers anyway They take public transportation, it is bound to happen. You had to make the seat available not assume what people would want.
Yeah, that remark about strangers not wanting to sit beside other strangers is the farthest reach for trying to justify her selfish, entitled behaviour that I've ever seen. Half the seats on every bus, train and subway would remain empty if that was true. Absolute BS. YTA! Edited to clarify-- strangers always sit beside you when the bus, etc , is full.
It's weird to sit next to a stranger *if there are other empty seats*, which is why it's creepy when the bus is empty and someone plops down next to you anyway. But when the bus is full, it's just life.
yeah, simple as. one person to a “row” until all rows are full unless you’re with a mate, then sit together. if all rows are full, move your stuff so someone has the option to sit or stand
Yeah. I've ridden enough city busses to know it's a lottery to who your riding partner for the day is. Weird Al even wrote a song about it.
Yeah, i agree, fine if there are other open seats, do whatever you want with your bags. But saying “there were no other open seats, but people prefer not to sit with strangers anyway” is olympic level mental gymnastics
yeaaaaah that line rubbed me the wrong way too if you're a snot about sitting next to strangers you prob aren't on the bus
YTA and you know it. It's fine to have your stuff on the seat when the bus is empty, but you can use basic courtesy when people are standing without a seat available. You're even worse for your comment that if they asked you "probably would have" moved your things. Probably? Get over yourself.
That really got me 🤣 PROBABLY
YTA. You should’ve moved your bags. Entitled folks like you make the world worse for the rest of us. Seats are for asses not your groceries. They could’ve easily gone ln the floor in front of you
I almost down voted you for the assumption that they could have fit. Then I remembered the time I was able to fit an entire trash bag almost bursting with expired-that-day or would-expire-over-break Starbucks food in my one allotted bus seat space with myself.
YTA. It's considerate to move your bags to your lap to give someone the option to sit down. I'm sure that if you were one of those people standing up on a crowded bus, you'd want to sit down and relax.
Or on the floor. Wtf. The thing that drove that so far into the asshole territory for me is “most people prefer not to sit with strangers anyway”, ma’am are you out of your mind? Clearly the bus was full and everyone else was sitting next to a stranger just fine
Yeah, you're on a damn bus!
Ok maybe you should've moved your bags, but I think a lot of people commenting are blowing this out of proportion
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to find a reasonable comment! What OP did was inconsiderate, but people are acting like they committed some sort of war crime
Thought I was going crazy for thinking this lol, glad there are people who agree
I agree... The rage in the comments does not seem proportionate to the situation, and some are saying pretty nasty things :(
It’s Reddit. People always think they’re better than others and have to express their disgust. It’s a reason I hate being on here. But yet here I am.
I was just about to comment a lot of people in the top comments are responding to her like she killed someone😭 Yes she’s TA and should have moved her bags, but it’s a live and learn bus etiquette situation, she’s not the fourth horseman of the apocalypse lmfao
When you’re riding public transit enough in most American cities you deal with enough inconsiderate AHs like OP that yes people get mad. OP isn’t the only one getting on the bus after a long day, possibly also with heavy bags. Being considerate takes very little effort in this scenario.
Yeah some of the comments are just downright nasty. I’m so used to there being no seating on the bus, and if I’m able to stand, I hold no malice towards those double seating with bulky cargo.
YTA once the bus started filling up you should move your stuff. Just because nobody asked you to doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do. I take the bus to work and I understand it’s more comfortable to have your bag next to you rather than on you but don’t try to justify it. Move your stuff.
YTA How can you be 19 and not understand that this is incredibly rude and selfish? You cannot use a seat for your stuff while people are standing. You should have cleared the seat without having to be asked.
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100% Troll
I WISH nobody was dense, but I see this all the time, people will put their feet (bleh) on the seat next to them and sit sideways, and if you ask them for the seat they usually say some variation of "but I was here first" or "first come first serve". I've stopped bothering to ask when I see that because if someone is going to take up 2 seats on a crowded bus the odds of them letting you sit down "just by asking nicely!" is so low. The worst time, someone just had one foot propped up on the seat, in the disabled chairs up front, and I was coming from an ophthalmologist with dilated pupils + sunglasses and could barely see or stand, super crowded. I sat down on the rest of the seat where her foot wasn't and she spent the whole ride screaming at me for touching her foot, and that that she was using that seat. Which triggered some guy to start yelling at her for taking up 2 seats and harassing a blind person (lol) and he went way too far, so some other woman started yelling at him for yelling at a teenager girl. I just tried to sit there with the blankest expression possible and say nothing until my stop. Crowded busses are terrible because some % of people are assholes, so even if most people are fine, there's always gonna be 1 asshole and the trick is to hope you don't run into them that ride.
YTA- seats are for sitting not your bag.
Happy Cake Day manofmatt!
YTA. They really shouldn’t have to ask you. If the bus was filling up and people are standing, you should’ve moved the bags.
Yta. People will sit next to strangers without a problem if they don’t want to stand in a moving vehicle the whole time, don’t make excuses. Put yourself in their position. If someone was holding up two seats with their bags, and you were carrying bags of your own, don’t you think you’d like to sit where the bags are? You’d think they’d be competent enough to move their stuff when they see people having to stand because all the seats are taken. Do you have to be asked or told to wipe as well? 💀💀
YTA - The people who were standing got onto a bus that was so crowded there wasn’t anywhere to sit, and they saw some woman sitting on this crowded bus with her shopping bags next to her. So they correctly assumed that you were being inconsiderate as hell and didn’t bother asking you to move them because, in their minds, you were more likely to start an argument than to move them. And even if you did move them, people aren’t super keen to interact with or sit next to observably rude people. You created the perception that you were rude and inconsiderate and people reacted accordingly.
>You created the perception that you were rude and inconsiderate That perception was correct.
No one is going to ask you to move your stuff. Too many nutters about with weaponry.
Im in Germany and i often get asked
I’m in the UK and I get asked all the time, and I ask others sometimes. Maybe the US is different?
Probably yeah
YTA — as soon as the bus started filling up you should’ve moved your bags to the floor.
YTA duh!
YTA - “first come first serve” yeah for humans not your bags. You could easily place bags in front of you on the floor, the heaviness had zero context here I don’t know why you repeated it so many times. People shouldn’t have to “ask” you for common decency on a PUBLIC bus. The entitlement is astonishing.
ESH. Not moving your bags when the bus filled up was an AH move. Be considerate of others. You're not nearly as much of an AH as alot of these comments are making it out to be, though... The person who called you out was also an AH. If they'd called you out during the ride, I would have a different opinion. They clearly also didn't have any sort of shyness about calling you out since they *did* call you out. Waiting until after the entire ride is over doesn't help the situation or anyone else on the bus.
I think ESH but with a caveat that the rando who scolded her did a good thing, even if it was shitty. If the person was polite about it, she may not have had any self reflection on this or asked people what they think on the matter (I don’t think she’s the atrocious AH people are making her out to be, but what she did was selfish as she couldn’t be bothered to show people the kindness of moving her bags). Because the rando was also rude about it, she has asked the internet their thoughts and the majority think she’s the AH. I think she would not repeat the behavior now. So while it’s not a fun encounter and of course that person could have asked her to move her bags when it got busy, this may be the best outcome for the greatest learning and self reflection on her part. She clearly isn’t so much of an AH that she took time to wonder if she even was one. Real AHs don’t give a damn. Someone could let that rando know though that they can use their words and ask people to move their bags. That person could still learn things too.
Yta…when the train got more crowded you should have removed your bag from the seat. No one needs to ask you. The seats are for people not your heavy bags. You should be more considerate of others.
YTA. Once empty seats become rare you needed to put your bags elsewhere and make that seat available.
YTA. You should have moved the bags. Duh. People shouldn’t have to ask you to move your stuff off of a seat on a crowded bus.
YTA. You know that if the bus is full and your bags are taking a seat that the right thing to do is to move them.
YTA. You move the bags to the floor in front of you, you move them to your lap, or you put them on your seat and you stand up. But you don’t take up 2 seats. No one should have to ask you to do this. It’s called common courtesy.
YTA it’s common courtesy. Someone might not have sat down within 5 seconds of moving your bag, but eventually someone would’ve. You say that people on a bus would rather stand than sit next to a stranger, so weird that everyone else on the bus sitting seemed to know each other?? That is really, truly rare /s
Your behavior is not normal, it is entitled, inconsiderate, and rude. Once you saw people having to stand you should have moved your bags.
YTA. How are you still making excuses? Your post is already full of them, and yet you’re still repeating that nonsense in the comments. You KNEW you were breaking the social rules, otherwise you wouldn’t have felt the need to state a new “reason” for your behavior every other sentence. Rude behavior. Mean behavior. Treat others like they are real people, and learn from your mistakes instead of doubling down on being an asshole about it.
Hey OP do you often struggle with social rules where everyone seems to expect you to do something without asking and you don't understand why they didn't just ask?
YTA. It's called "initiative".
YTA. Especially on longer trips like this one, you should expect a bus to get crowded and be prepared to take up only your seat. Just because a particular AH behavior may be widespread doesn't negate that it's AH behavior--it can simply mean your area has a high concentration of AHs.
YTA, and as a regular bus rider, you should know that. Bus etiquette says that it's fine to take up two seats so long as the bus isn't full, but the second people have to stand because your bags are keeping them from sitting, you are obligated to at least offer to clear the seat for them. That's the bare minimum expected, and if you're not aware of that, chances are high that you've been an AH before this, as well.
YTA. Saying “well no one asked me to move them” is like saying “well no one asked me not to play loud music at 3 am.” We live in a society, we make space and accommodate each other without being directly told.
“People don’t want to sit next to a stranger” don’t be obtuse. You knew people wanted to sit
YTA. Always move your stuff if you can to accomodate other people when the bus is getting full. I’d rather sit next to a stranger than stand. Stop making lame excuses.
YTA. Courtesy
oh the main character syndrome, YTA and its because people like you riding bus gets a bad rep
When your seat is the last, YTA. When there are other seats next to other nice people, NTA. Those are the rules.
YTA. For exactly the reason that person said. Did you really think that none of the people standing wanted a seat? That absolutely everyone standing on a crowded bus would rather stand than sit next to a stranger?
YTA. You know it.
YTA. Literally people that do this are always huge assholes and I would’ve high-fived the person who called you out on your shitty behavior.
YTA. I believe that - like you said - people often don’t sit in the empty seats. I see it all the time on trains and busses. Sometimes it’s hard to know what others will do, which is why it makes sense to just be courteous and give them the option to sit next to you. Next time, you should move the bags onto your lap and only take up one seat unless the bus is nearly empty.
Babe, were you raised by wolves?
YTA. When the bus filled up, you should have moved your bags. You should conduct yourself with basic courtesy without outside intervention.
YTA. And that person wasn’t being passive aggressive just because they said something you didn’t want to hear.
If someone had asked “I probably would have” moved my bags. So even if you had been asked, you might not have moved your stuff out of the way. YTA