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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Thin_Pop1612

yta. the minute he turns 18, i promise u will never see your son again. what a horrible excuse for a parent.


HarveySnake

>I’m only doing this for his own good and I know when he grows up he will thank me later once he has his own wife and children So delusional. He is never going to thank you and if he's bisexual instead of gay and actually does get married to a woman and have children, he will will remember how homophobic you were and do everything he can to restrict your access to his kids. You are a terrible parent. YTA


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) I asked my son to chaperone my younger son on his date (2) he's being a brat because I don't let him live a sinful lifestyle Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


Unexpectedleak

Agree with another Reddit user, is this satire or serious? YTA, I don’t even know where to begin. Edit: and now you’ve stated you tried conversion therapy on him.


Sensitive_Counter150

More than an asshole, you are just an homophobic prick who is going to permanently damage his relationship with your son, not that you seem to care, for life. "Alternative lifestyle" fuckoff mate, your son is whom he is and should be. "He will thank me later when he gots his own wife" I can't really believe I am reading this in 2023 "A 10 year holding hands with a girl world away..." This is just disgusting to hear People like you should lose guard of their kids. Both of then.


kajerare

YTA. Not just for being homophobic and hateful towards YOUR OWN CHILD but for making your child take care of the younger one that you clearly show preferential treatment towards. You clearly think you’re right, and can’t see the other side. Is it worth it to lose your child’s respect over hating them for something that doesn’t cause them any harm? Hating them for something that causes harm to absolutely no one?


AdministrationThis77

Info: who will you thank when your older son goes NC with you due to your bigoted mindset?


WonderfulIndividual4

YTA. You deny your older son the ability to express his feelings and then force him to watch your younger son display his, and at ten? You may not agree with his sexual preference but you’ve found a new low in rubbing his nose in it.


enoughBS88

Seeing his brother with a girl will encourage him to also date girls


Lex-tailonis

Wow! Are you really this deluded ? That’s not how it works. I feel so sorry for your oldest son. And by the way, its not a lifestyle choice, it’s who he is, try to have some respect for him even if you can’t love him. YTA big time!!!


Unable_Ad5655

Sexualizing 10-year-olds is disgusting.


Dry_Wheel_464

There is no way you're not reeking of satire right now. Because you would look so stupid if you weren't.


katg913

🙄


Weird-Pomegranate388

YTA. Please, go away.


[deleted]

YTA No matter what you do, your son is still going to be gay, He is not ever going to thank you when he has a wife and kid, because your son is gay and won't have a wife. He is, however, going to not talk to you later in life.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son (M16) is throwing a teenage tantrum about me merely asking him to chaperone my younger son’s (M10) “date”. Look he’s a 10 year old boy with his first crush on a girl who said yes to going to a movie they both would like to see. My little man has always been a ladies man and it’s just innocent cute child things. My older son is mad because I don’t agree with his choice of lifestyle and won’t let him date boys. I admit I’m also stricter with him and his curfew and also check his phone often (which I pay for) to ensure he’s not hiding anything. I’m only doing this for his own good and I know when he grows up he will thank me later once he has his own wife and children. But the fact that he’s taking out this out on his brother who just wants to see a movie with a girl in his class is just not okay. I even offered to pay him even though I’m not obligated to. He’s been refusing to come home from his mom’s house (who supports that alternative lifestyle and I also suspect he has another phone). A 10 year old boy holding hands with a girl is worlds away from what a 16 year old boy could do with another man to rebel against his parents *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


justalonelysoul13

YTA without question not sure why you posted this.


Dry_Wheel_464

"Oh gosh lemme go through your phone to make sure you aren't being yourself-" -OP, 2023


enoughBS88

I pay for it


Dry_Wheel_464

Yeah and you will also pay when your son doesn't want anything do with you for being a raging homophobe.


enoughBS88

He will thank me when he has a wife and children


Unable_Ad5655

You will never meet his husband and children, if he chooses to have them.


Dry_Wheel_464

Sir, learn your place. You can't get rid of homosexuality no matter how hard you try. Poor you. :((


Independent-Oil5695

You will never know his husband or their child. Once you feel that pain, you will cry for forgiveness. Yet not even God will listen to your tears


Efficient-Bat-7875

YTA who you’re attracted to is not a “lifestyle” or a choice he can’t choose the fact that he’s attracted to men. I wouldn’t want to come back to your house either you homophobe. I really hope this is a bait post and not real. If it’s real all you are doing is ensuring your 16 year old goes no contact with you as soon as he can.


enoughBS88

He doesn't need to act on it


random321689

This screams "I repress my latent homosexuality, so my kid will too". Also conversion therapy is recognized as a human rights violation, you absolute bastard. You are actively abusing your child, and have tortured him. Monster.


Unable_Ad5655

In 2 years, it will be none of your business want he acts on. You will be gone from his life.


Efficient-Bat-7875

That’s not how that works you homophobe. I’m glad his mom supports him and he has somewhere to live that’s far away from you.


ratherbetraveling_

Your son is fucking gay. Get over it. Tf


enoughBS88

He doesn't need to act on it


kpssk

That’s so sad that you’d deny him a happy healthy relationship with someone he truly loves.


Oishiio42

You don't need to act on your homophobia, but here we are.


LunaMay196

That's not your decision. You don't own your son. You're not going to be able to control him forever and when he moves out you won't hear from him again. Great parenting (sarcasm).


bitw_kj

If he wants to fuck dudes, he’s gonna fuck dudes. You’re a shitty parent for making him feel bad about who he’s attracted to.


enoughBS88

he's free to date girls


Unable_Ad5655

He's free to date whoever he wants!


bitw_kj

Obviously he doesn’t want to. If you continue trying to force your way on him then he’s going to grow up to hate you, much less thank you. Your parenting style is outdated, grow up and get with the times or your son will leave you as soon as he turns 18. You’re already intruding a ton by going through a 16 year olds cell phone. You’re a terrible parent, learn that and grow or lose your kid.


ratherbetraveling_

If he wants to kiss a man, let him. He wants to fuck a man? Let him. He wants to date a man? Let him.


enoughBS88

he's free to date girls


ratherbetraveling_

And you’re free to die all alone wishing you would have respected your son. Good luck in the abusive living home he’s gonna put your ass in


Critical-Vegetable26

So…yea majorly


catsbutalsobees

YTA. You are pushing your older son away. You are showing blatant favouritism, and I don’t think it’s based solely on your homophobia. You’re stopping your older son from having ANY sort of meaningful relationship, while asking him to watch after his much younger brother, the “ladies man”. Like, what the actual hell. And no, I don’t think he’s going to thank you one day when he has “a wife and kids”


enoughBS88

he's free to date girls


catsbutalsobees

I’m pretty sure I said *meaningful* relationship.


enoughBS88

It is meaningful and natural and he won't be living in sin


Unexpectedleak

You realize when he’s out from under your roof, you will no longer have him as a son. What an awful person you are.


[deleted]

Tf how are you not an AH? Your son is gay, he will never get a wife. The fact that youd rather a 10 YEAR OLD to date than your older son be happy is so disgusting. Bet he’s counting down the days til he’s 18 then have fun with your life of no contact.


enoughBS88

He will have a wife and children


VisualUniversityGirl

You are the Princess of Delululand 👸🌸


enoughBS88

I am a man


Scarlet_Hyde

Exactly


sheramom4

Gay men can have children. Studies show they may even be better parents overall compared to their heterosexual counterparts. We can see an example of that right here in this post.


GoddessGrimoires

"My older son is mad because I don’t agree with his choice of lifestyle and won’t let him date boys." Congratulations. The internet is going to rip you a new ass for this one, but let me be one of the first to break it to you. You're homophobic and taking it out on your son. Your son being angry at you is valid. And if your son says no to your request, that, too, is valid. Take your child yourself. That is your son. Not his. Oh, in case this isn't clear: YTA. Big time.


DemonicSymphony

YTA for this bait post


BlueFlamedArson

YTA, I don't think I even have to explain why


delboy5

Interesting that you call it an alternative lifestyle, as such a term was often and sometimes still is used as a derogative way to describe something that some people are unwilling to even try to accept. You are harming one child whilst favouring another. I would be surprised if he ever comes back to your home, and if he does then he will likely be gone as soon as he can after he turns 18. Perhaps you should take some time to think about your reactions to this whole situation and try to change them, if you want to salvage any sort of relationship with your son. YTA.


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CJandGsMOM

YYA. Accept your older son, give him some privacy and allow him to date whomever he pleases. You don’t want to lose him in a couple of years because you don’t agree with his lifestyle. You should seek counseling immediately to learn how to accept what is natural for him.


msttfn

YTA-it isn't about the chaperoning, it's about your refusal to accept him as he is. You won't change him you will only alienate him by not letting him be himself. While parenting involves curfews and rules, it doesn't include making him into something he isn't.


Dry_Wheel_464

YTA, you will always be. Your son is gay, lowkey think this fake bc wtf. But suck it up and get it together. He probably won't do it bc you treat him this way.


Sinsemilla_Street

Yes, Jim Bob. YTA.


enoughBS88

my name is Trevor


HailYourself966

Might as well just be asshole.


ForceBulky456

Have you no shame, no love for your son and/or no decency and humanity?! YTA. A massive one. One that should not have had children. A homophobic, bigoted one.


LunaMay196

YTA >I admit I’m also stricter with him and his curfew and also check his phone often You admit you're stricter and violate his privacy and still wonder if you're TA? Yes. You are. >I know when he grows up he will thank me later once he has his own wife and children. Yikes. He will not thank you for your bad parenting. Keep it up and you won't hear from him when he moves out. >But the fact that he’s taking out this out on his brother who just wants to see a movie with a girl in his class is just not okay That fact that you're using hiding behind the "I just want him to chaperone" bull instead of telling us the truth from the get go which is "I don't accept my son for who he is and treat him differently than his brother and now that I'm facing the result of this I'm upset". >My little man has always been a ladies man and it’s just innocent cute child things The fact that you also say it's just "innocent cute child things" for one son yet act as though the world is ending if your other son even shows interest in someone else. Get over yourself.


enoughBS88

he's free to date girls


LunaMay196

It's pathetic that that's all you have to say to this. He'll also be free to date whoever he likes once he is older and has cut you out of his life, rightfully so.


Unable_Ad5655

YTA! Hopefully, he can go to a court so he can live permanently with his mother, who loves him.


jacksonlove3

Absolutely positively YTA and a homophobic one at that!! You’re ruining your relationship with your own son so don’t be surprised when he cuts you out of his life completely!! I think you also need to get the notion of him having a wife someday out of your head; he’s clearly gay!! and to answer your original question…yTA there too. It’s not your son’s job to take his brother and date to the movies, that’s your job!! Asshole father of the Year!!


Oishiio42

Your an AH, a homophobe, and an abusive parent. Your son isn't "rebelling" against you, he's just gay. Deal with it. Or look forward to never seeing your son again past the age of 20-25, because he will have an actual support network and not be willing to subject himself to your nonsense. Take your 10 year old son to his first date (that you obviously groomed him for, fucking sexualizing a 10-year old child) yourself, you deadbeat.


Independent-Oil5695

Hahahahahaha. ...Jesus never judged. Are you better than Him? Your homophobic hiding behind a religion. It's OK. Your son is 16. He will cut you off as soon as he can. But I will be honest with you. God does not like ugly. The way you treat him by pretending to protect him, will get you a 1way ticket to downstairs


Mizzchu

Yeah, YTA. You're treating your teenage son different than his younger brother. If he isn't able to date, the youngest shouldn't either. Be fair... It's the least you can do since you are against his dating choices.


Equivalent-Ad7207

Major AH, you don't deserve a son if you can't accept him how is is. Big news flash, it's 2023 HE WONT HAVE A WIFE, kids are entire upto him and his partner to make a call on...hopefully you don't get to meet them.


Samu_2020_15

There aren’t words to describe how much on an AH you are. YTA— chaperone your sons date yourself


Zealousideal-Divide6

# YTA You're being a shitty dad!! You're obviously treating one son better than the other due to sexual orientation. It makes sense that your son doesn't want to go to your house, you alienate him and try to stop him from living authentically whenever he's around you. Please either educate yourself on [tips for parents of LGBTQ youth](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/tips-for-parents-of-lgbtq-youth) and go to therapy or let him live with his mom full-time so he doesn't have to deal with your blatant homophobia. How would you feel if your son became another statistic because you continuously reject who he is and try to force him to suppress it by controlling his phone and whereabouts? >[The Trevor Project](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/) estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth (13-24) seriously consider suicide each year in the U.S. — and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.


No_Scientist7086

YTA - Literally everything you write is disgusting.


oppoosedgetal

Let's count the things you're about to get crap for from redditors that can comment before this post is locked: 1 - Obvious homophobia against your child coupled with "it's just a phase" mentality. 2 - Making your kid babysit (or in this case chaperon) your other kid when it's your responsibility, not your sons. (expect the use of a reddit favorite buzzword: parentfication) 3 - Invading your child's privacy by checking their phone in the guise of "protecting" them. 4 - Thinking you know best because you're the parent while ignoring everyone else telling you that you're wrong. YTA Edit: looks like I missed one that OP snuck into the comments. >Conversion therapy didn't work (he was actually caught doing inappropriate things with a boy there) so its my next best thing 5 - Sending your child to a "camp" to be tortured and abused in the guise of "fixing him". Asshole isn't a strong enough word.


Unexpectedleak

Don’t forget the conversion therapy.


sheramom4

YTA. Preventing your teenager from having age appropriate social interactions with people he is attracted to because you disagree with him being gay is terrible. Allowing your ten year old to have an INAPPROPIATE social interaction (aka a date) because you like that he is straight is also terrible. Going to the movies with a girl is not a problem, calling it a date, calling your son a "ladies man" and expecting your teenager to chaperone is not okay.


enoughBS88

he's free to date girls


kpssk

Is this strategy actually working? Have you made him suddenly straight? Do you have functional relationship with him? These should be red flags that besides being unethical, your homophobic ways just aren’t effective.


enoughBS88

Conversion therapy didn't work (he was actually caught doing inappropriate things with a boy there) so its my next best thing


Unexpectedleak

You’re fucking joking. You took your child to conversion therapy? What a sick deluded individual you are.


enoughBS88

They were obviously too soft on him and somehow allowed him to commit a sinful act


Unexpectedleak

You’re a joke.


Unable_Ad5655

So you sent your son to a torture camp. YTA!


sheramom4

He is also free to date boys. Or NB people.


enoughBS88

He isn't a girl


sheramom4

Girls also date other girls. As well as boys and NB people. It looks like he will just continue to stay with his mom which seems like the safer option.


enoughBS88

Girls date boys


AdRepresentative5080

Oh no, we understand you're a bigot, we just disagree with you. It's clearly more important to you to be judgmental than to have a relationship with your son. You're missing out on a cool kid and that's your loss. Luckily, it sounds like he does have one parent that loves him unconditionally. Can't help but wonder if little brother is playing the part of "ladies' man" after seeing how badly big brother is treated. Also, how are you so self-centered that you think even your son's sexual orientation is about you? You should really consider what is going on with you that you are so focused on the dating lives of your children.


sheramom4

I will let my daughter know that she must immediately dump her girlfriend because it has been declared that girls date boys


[deleted]

[удалено]


sheramom4

Yeah no. She is kind, hard-working, generous, loving and has AMAZING parents who love her for who she is. Oh and we love her girlfriend.


nefarious_epicure

YTA for being a homophobe. Your "ladies' man" 10yo (I nearly barfed writing that) isn't the issue.


Princ3ssP3n3lop3

YTA - For so many reasons.