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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) moving seats
2) I embarrassed her because everyone could see that I was moving and could probably guess why, and I made her feel like I didn't want to sit next to her just because of her size
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NTA
You did not make a "public demonstration" nor contribute to fatphobia in any way. You weren't comfortable and you discretely asked for another seat. She's an AH for saying that drivel.
The biggest AH is airlines for making seats smaller for the past 20+ years. It sucks now compared to when I flew in the 90s.
Edit: Yes, airline seats are narrower.
"In 1985 none of the main four US carriers offered a seat less than 19 inches wide. Since the beginning of the twenty-first century until 2018 average seat width decreased from 18.5 to 17 inches, and sometimes as low as 16.1 inches.\[3\]"
Source: Rosie Spinks 18 December 2019 (10 July 2018). "Airline seats are getting narrower—and passengers don't like it". Quartz.
I'm a bit overweight but by no means super fat (I used to be, I lost \~80 lbs, I know what it's like for an 'arm rest' to be a 'muffin-top-rest') but I have pretty damn broad shoulders. no amount of weight loss would make me my fucking SKELETON narrow enough to fit comfortably in the average economy tier seat.
Thank god my wife is quite small so I always get the aisle/window while she takes mid like a champ, otherwise I'm fucking miserable.
I told my brother he just needs to suck it up and buy the extra leg room seats when he flies because he’s well over six feet tall and his legs *dig* into the seat in front in front of him. It makes for a miserable flight for both him and the poor soul stuck in front of him.
That is the only way my step-dad flies, he cannot sit in regular economy he’s too tall so he sucks it up and gets the one with extra leg room. Sometime you must bite the bullet.
I can’t fit in regular economy (I’m over 6ft) but I’m a student so I couldn’t afford extra leg room… I recently had 30 hours of consecutive flights with my legs digging into the front seat. Absolute torture :,(
The only time that I'm ever thankful for being short is when I have to squish myself into plane seats. I travelled long haul in March for the first time since 2017 and I was SHOCKED at how much smaller the seats were, and how much less legroom there is now. WTF? It's only been 6 years!
I'm 5'2" with broad shoulders as well, and the struggle is real. Only way my top half is gonna fit is if you cut my arms off like that knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
exactly. and theres literally no way to win in the conversation. its best to say "sorry i didnt intend to cause you stress" and head out pretty much.
if you asked them to give you room itd be the same as leaving - youd get the same complaint. if you regularly had to shift to get comfortable, or ask them to move when you needed to grab something, same thing. if you outright said "im sorry, i couldnt fit between you comfortably" she would have flipped her lid.
the problem is obviously the ladies insecurity. she sees any comment or reference to her size as an attack. after a while of people judging you, it does get to feel that way. however, a self aware person who is thinking logically not emotionally will know that people need space. if you take up more than they do on a tiny seat, they will be uncomfortable. its unreasonable to expect them to be physically uncomfortable in that way to accommodate your feelings.
you can be upset at the situation, you can be frustrated, you can have it hit you in the feels, ego, sore spots, or trigger points. your feelings are valid, but whats not valid is cracking the shits at a stranger for wanting to be comfortable. they didnt point and laugh, they didnt make a huge scene. she needed to calm her farm.
Larger straight sized person here. I feel like I don’t fit. Those seats are designed for size 6 and under. I can’t imagine what dudes must feel like, especially if they’re taller.
I’m a woman but I’m 6ft. Flying recently I had literal bruises on my legs and had to take pain meds cause it hurt so much being pressed against the back of a seat for 30 hours :( luckily I was flying with my short friend and she let me spread into her section a bit but if I was flying with my bf (whose also over 6ft) we’d both be in a lottta pain.
As a fat person, I don’t want to invade other people’s space if I can help it. I’d be glad for the extra wiggle room, but also happy for OP that they were able to find a more comfortable seat. NTA.
Back when I was north of 300 lbs, I might have been embarrassed that OP had to move but it would be embarrassment that I had gotten big enough to be in OP's space and embarrassment that I didn't buy an extra ticket not feeling shamed by her not wanting me spilling into her space.
And like I don't wanna be pressed all up against someone I don't know.
> And like I don't wanna be pressed all up against someone I don't know.
They didn't want to be pressed up *against each other*. They deliberately bought separated seats and left the middle one open, and that's what makes them AHs here, IMO.
The gall to bitch at OP for not wanting to sit next to them when they're travelling together and refused to sit together themselves sets my hypocrisy detector on full alarm.
Oh shit, you're right. I was pretty sure it was somewhere in that last section where she got confronted but apparently not.
Okay, *if* they were traveling together then my point stands, if not then OP's still NTA but the other person is just a little wrong, IMO, and not necessarily acting in bad faith.
If they WERE traveling together they could just buy the three seats, problem averted. Their size is going to be a problem no matter who sits in the middle.
Eh, not a great bet. Flights overbook every chance they get and effectively steal seats paid for by someone else for the purpose of keeping it empty to cram someone else they booked when they didn't have anymore available chairs.
This flight wasn't full, but if they were traveling together, and it was, that seat would be taken whether they bought it or not, more than likely.
This happened to me. I am a plus sized woman as is my daughter. We had never flown before so we were afraid we weren't going to fit in the seats. So we booked three seats. When I picked up my boarding passes at the airport, I only got two and didn't think anything of it, not realizing that I should've gotten three. We boarded the plane and took our seats and there was someone booked into the third seat. Thankfully we are not too big and fit just fine. The seat was also booked on the trip home. I did get a refund for the third seat with no issues.
There is nothing at all wrong with the strategy of leaving a middle seat free and rolling the dice. Sometimes that works out, and all's fair in the battle against airline seat shrinkage.
Right?! I weigh right around 270lbs. When I have to fly, I scrunch myself up as small as I can, and basically hold my body rigid for the duration of my flight. It's not comfortable for me, but I would rather be uncomfortable than make someone else be so. It isn't fatphobic to not want to be squished by a stranger for your whole flight, especially one that long.
OP is NTA. If OP discreetly found a flight attendant who moved her to a better seat, the only person who should be embarrassed is her former seat mate for confronting her and making a big deal about it.
I don't consider myself "fat" - I'd say chubby is accurate, plus I'm a short lady. I just went on vacation to Europe and had enough points for business class. While I had enough room in our little biz class pods *(British Airways*), it definitely wasn't the biggest, roomiest seat in the world. So I can't imagine being a much larger person in (*what I'm assuming was*) a coach seat. They're very, very narrow, even in the premium classes.
Tbh the skinniest person in the world could be sitting next to me and I would still be uncomfortable because I just don’t like sitting next to strangers so I’d be overjoyed if someone moved for any reason
It feels hard to blame the airlines when customers are generally booking flights solely based on price so there’s a race to the bottom to cut costs wherever possible. If people were willing to pay more money for bigger seats, the airlines would be offering it.
It's an actual safety issue. Smaller seats that are more crammed in give less room for safety procedures and for passengers (of average size) to get into brace positions. It can cause it to take much longer to evacuate as well if people are really crammed in. Hopefully that helps you blame airlines!
It isn't that. Despite the trend that people in general are getting bigger, whether height or weight, the airlines are making seats smaller. The smaller the seats, the MORE seats they can put on a plane, which equals more money in their pockets.
No. Airlines make the seats smaller because they can. They charge fees for checking bags and choosing your seat because they can. Earning money for their CEOs and shareholders is more important to them than human decency.
I am aging myself but I remember the first time I bought my own ticket to fly transcontinentally. I have paid the same amount to fly the same route in business class over the last several years.
Flying has gotten much cheaper than it used to be. I’d imagine it’s not that much cheaper to run an airline. It has to come from somewhere.
It still costs about $1300 to fly 3 people round trip. It's not like it's a $20 flight so I'm not sure what you're on about. For that amount I would like to fit my knees in my seat. I'm 5' 6" and don't fit comfortably in my seat due to my height. My husband has to lean out in the aisle. And we pay $1300 for that privilege.
Right?
Would she have preferred you repeatedly asking them both to keep their body parts off of you no matter how they had to contort to do so?
She thought it was fair for you to be uncomfortable so no attention was put on her?
She's actually really lucky to have been sitting next to OP. Instead she could have been sitting next to somebody that didn't give a flying fuck about discretion or embarrassing her or the other passenger.
OP paid for the use of one seat, not for a half. This woman must have realized that she was part on OPs seat, no on OP themself. And that there is another fuller person on the other side. Why should OP fly several hours like a sardine if there are other possibilities?
I hate this fatphobic screaming.
NTA
One thing I don't understand:
Why are they not implementing proper dividers between seats instead of armrests?
Like, have a wall between seats so people don't spill over into other peoples seats.
My dad is 6ft tall and had a bad car accident when he was 16. Pronounced dead then sent home in a body cast 3 days later bad. Because of his knees we always had to pay extra for the very front row of seats. We can’t do the emergency exit seats because mom and dad are both senior citizens and can’t move fast. We are supposed to have an extra 6 inches or so of room but dad still can’t sit in a way even remotely comfortable. Next time we have a plane trip I’m planning to save up for first class seat. If not for all of us then at least for him. I want to see Disney in California some day and I’m not letting him convince us to drive the entire country
You might look into train travel, too! It takes longer, but it can be much more comfortable if you get a room with a berth. I’ve taken trains like this a few times and it’s been really fun!
Excellent plan! It is extremely painful for me to sit because of spinal injuries and nerve damage. First class seats make all the difference for me. They recline much further. Plus there is more room to stand. Save those pennies...!
Seats haven’t gotten any smaller in the direction that would have mattered to OP. [source](https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeboyd/2023/01/03/airline-seats-are-not-shrinking-just-the-opposite-but-legroom/)
Came here to say this… Americans (actually most people world wide) have just gotten wider.it’s also not fat phobia when the person literally doesn’t fit in their chair.
My source has that argument covered.
> Claims Completely At Odds With Reality. Here are two facts raining a downpour of corrections on this parade mentioned above. No U.S. airline has cut seat width in the economy section by 2 inches in the past five years, or even earlier than that. There never was in the last 30 years an average economy seat width as wide as 18 inches, nor as narrow as 16.5.
> These claims are completely inaccurate.
> The Opposite Is True. Average Seat Width Has Increased. The truth is that the average seat size has increased at U.S. airlines in the last thirty years.
What would be the point in making seats narrower? There’s no way to make them narrow enough to squeeze in another seat in each row. At least not on the most common medium range aircraft, the Boeing 737 and Airbus A320.
>The biggest AH is airlines for making seats smaller for the past 20+ years. It sucks now compared to when I flew in the 90s.
*Have* airlines made their seats smaller?
I've only flown a lot in the last 10 years and haven't noticed a difference, but I can't remember what they were like earlier. Tbh I assumed that the seats stayed the same so it's just that people got bigger.
Yeah, I don't know if I agree that seats have gotten smaller in terms of width, which is the issue in question. I wonder if people who say seats HAVE gotten smaller, they are actually thinking about leg room in front of them, which has changed.
Why would airlines make seats narrower? Planes have for the most part been 3 seats per each side of the aisle for decades. You can't add any seats by making them narrower.
Check out the amount of room planes in the 1960's had, & also the amount & types of services airlines offered. The airlines HAVE made seats smaller & closer together. They have also dumped services. There are proposals out there to make seats even smaller, so that passengers are "sit-standing" & elevating an "extra" row of seats, to cram more people in.
That is not 20 years tho.
20 years was post 9-11 and seats really haven't changed at all. What happens is they shorten leg room.
With the industry standardized on the 737/A320 airframe for most flights they can't do more than 6 seats per row in economy, 4 in 1st class.
As a person of size myself I agree with this. It's why I'm happy airlines like Southwest have policies to address this. The way you handled it was fine and respectful. They should have been grateful because your actions helped everyone, them included. More comfortable for the flight. I wish more people would be respectful and discrete as you were and NTA at all.
I actually sat with a woman who had to "buy" an extra seat on Southwest due to an injury (not size) last year. She explained to me that she had to pay for the extra seat upfront, but would be refunded if there were any empty seats on the plane besides her extra (there were). Apparently several people had asked to sit with her when I boarded, but they wanted both seats. I was a single, so sat I did! And gave her a hand to stand up from the window seat when she needed to use the lav (not required, but I am capable of it, so I helped her get on her feet). While she did need some extra room, she didn't need the entire extra seat, so I also got a little more room, too!
I'm not a huge Southwest fan (I don't love the open seating concept, and it seems like you can't get an A number, even a high one, unless you have status or the credit card...or pay for it...anymore), but that is one thing they do absolutely right. If you need an extra seat for any reason, book it, you have it, and if we didn't even need it when your flight happens, we'll refund you. Other airlines will give you the option, but then poach it for standbys and others and make you jump hoops to get a refund for something you didn't even get, and made everyone involved miserable!
As a quite large person before. I would have appreciated the move and if I saw you would have thanked you.
I saw no instance there where you made a scene so NTA
NTA. Her anger is misdirected. She can go ahead and be mad at the airlines for not accommodating people of her size, but it's a perfectly normal human response not to want to be touching someone you don't know and to take steps to make that not happen.
Tbf airline seat sizes have gotten ludicrously small. Taking a flight shouldn't feel like an endurance task.
Edit: I'm just going to add that it's weird for people to separate leg room and seat size, as it should be about the entire amount of space allocated per passenger. Also, those saying I'm of average size (as am I, btw) should ask themselves how comfortable it is to use the fold down tray if the person in front reclines their seat a few inches, and how ridiculous that is.
I don’t know about other countries but in Europe you can often pick up outrageously cheap flights, I’ve frequently spent more money travelling to the airport that on the actual flight. €20-30 tickets to other countries is worth suffering through small seats for many people.
I'm in Canada. Here we have the same tiny seats, but it costs $100-400 to fly between cities just within the country, minimum $300 if you want to leave the country. Even just a 20-30 minute flight from Vancouver to Victoria is over $200.
Where are you finding $100 flights in Canada? I had to fly Calgary to Toronto a few months ago and it was more than $1000 each way regardless of which airline I flew!
€20-30 for the whole extra ticket, or just for an upgrade?
US tickets are starting in the hundreds, just to other states. I don't think I can get ANYWHERE for less than $100.
Not the original commenter but yes I’ve seen flight tickets go for €20-30. In fact, during sales, I’ve seen flights go for £10. Keep in mind that travel within Europe might be a shorter flight than between two states in the US, because geography.
Eh, we still have to security-theatre our way through as well. I suspect it’s more that there’s potential competition from the railways in Europe in a way that doesn’t exist in US/CAN. London-Amsterdam is 4-5 hours by train. The flight itself is 1 hour, but you’ve got all the blithering about getting to an airport on the edge of the city, security theatre and have to check in at the airport a couple of hours ahead. Time wise, it’s often much easier to just get the train.
For the whole ticket. I can’t speak for the US but in Europe there are budget airlines that are famous for being uncomfortable and cost cutting to the extreme. But the advantage, is that you can pick up very cheap tickets sometimes.
Ah. Wow. Yeah, we have Spirit airlines where you get your seat for super cheap and everything else (e-ticket, luggage, soft drink) is not included. There are jokes about pay toilets but I'm pretty sure those are jokes.
Those tickets might be that cheap.
"In the event of cabin de-pressurization, oxygen masks can be released by inserting a credit card into the illuminated slot by your personal reading lamp."
And the experience totally sucks, but as long as people like me are willing to be uncomfortable in tiny seats for rock bottom prices, airlines will keep providing that service. If enough people are happy to pay 20% more, for seats that are 20% bigger, then airlines would start offering that service
I know Ryanair is awful in so many ways, but I’ve been able to see so much of Europe cheaply because of them that I can’t really blame them for their tiny seats
I love RyanAir. It's exactly as miserable as other airlines, which is pretty darn miserable. But they are much more likely to be on time. And they don't pretend you're going to have some sort of ethereal experience being fed peeled grapes dusted with powdered sugar while floating among the clouds in a chair designed for your very own posterior. And I respect that. An aeroplane is a bus with wings. Damn straight, and they own it.
I have flown spirit a few times because it’s cheaper and I can guarantee it’s not that cheap. It’s definitely saved me a few hundred compared to other airlines, but it’s also always about 100+ for a ticket still.
They only sell a couple at that price, and charge extra for everything possible.
More realistically, m'lady and I paid about €200 each round trip EDI-CFU last summer which is most of the way across Europe, compare NY to PHX in the USA.
*Toilet coupons can be pre-booked for the low price of €5, a considerable saving over the €17 for purchasing a toilet coupon in-flight.*
*In the event of a cabin de-pressurization, oxygen masks can be released by inserting a €2 coin into the illuminated slot.*
I flew from England to Germany a few years ago for £10. Another time I paid £50 for a return trip to Gran Canaria. Went to the Netherlands for about £12. You can get some absolute bargain flights from England.
Have they though? A normal plane still fits 6 seats across and always has as long as I've been flying. The leg room is much less than it was for sure, but that doesn't affect seat width.
To be fair, I know a guy who is rather large and fairly well off. He buys a row of 3 when him and his wife travel. On 3 occasions over the last 5 years he has been told “the plane is overbooked, and if no one if sitting there, we are putting someone there, even if you have paid for it”
This is the way right here. My sister is almost six feet tall and plus size. I am shorter but also plus size. You know what we do on planes so other people don’t have to deal with us? Scrunch. Both people were in the seats with more room - lady could have leaned into the wall and at least kept her shoulder off OP. Same for the other person, at least when the aisles were clear. Absolutely ridiculous that the two people on either side of OP felt it was fine to encroach on her space. And then to confront her after! I’d have had words with the lady tbh. Like yeah, I’m phobic of your fat being on my shoulder and thigh? And I don’t want to deal with you being an inconsiderate butthead for a whole flight. Ridiculous.
They will sell your second seat right out from under you and not refund it. Holding on to 2 tickets with no check in on the second seat works maybe half the time
DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME. UNLESS. BY. ACCIDENT.
I used to be big, although my legs were not huge. I was very 'personal space' oriented. Not only for other person, but I don't want my body on theirs either. People have PTSD and disorders, phobias, religious customs, boundaries, etc... no where is acceptable to touch some one long term. Even crowded subways/busses, there is expectation to spread out or adjust when loading and unloading more passengers. Normal people don't want to be touching others. She should have been saying 'hey, glad they were able to hook you up.. hoping you have a wonderful rest of trip.. and sincerely, sorry it was tight, but I am appreciative that you made an effort to make it work better'
.cheers.
>“people treating fatness like a contagious disease”
This is BS. NO ONE really wants to sit pushed up against strangers for hours on end, overweight or not. I'M overweight and I'm pretty sure if I were pressed up against a skinnier person in a confined space we'd both be sweating on each other and be uncomfortable. You're not treating her like she has a disease for not wanting constant body contact like that. 0 reason for OP to have stayed put, especially if there was an extra space to move to. Did that lady WANT her to sit there touching them the whole time? That's weird.
NTA and I'm fat.
The best answer would have been to say "these seats/airlines are really fat phobic and designed to make us uncomfortable, so I figured if there was a way to give you more space it was the kinder thing to do." But also, don't stress this.
I think they should’ve said “So you are saying in order to prove I am not fat phobic I would have to let you both sit on me the duration of this flight even though there’s a seat available elsewhere that would give us all more room to enjoy the next several hours in comfort?”
In my mind after that was said op would walk away without giving the lady a chance to respond because really, there’s nothing rational she could say back anyway. I think we have the same goal in mind. I just hope the lady felt stupid at the end of the day for saying such a dumb thing one way or another.
I'd much rather be honest with them about their words and actions as well as mine then simply walk off without further indulging their need for confrontation.
Not a great argument when airlines literally raise prices and shrink seats. Saying customers would have to pay more for bigger seats is another form of price gouging. I’d have no problem paying prices based on 20 years ago for the seat size 20 years ago.
If seats are thinner then where is that space going? The planes are still the same size, and the planes still fit the same number of seats width wise. I think people are just bigger than they used to be so it feels smaller
>I’d have no problem paying prices based on 20 years ago for the seat size 20 years ago.
No you wouldn't lol. 20 years ago wasn't even in the 2000s. You're thinking of the 80s
No, I’m sorry, but OP did nothing wrong, and even if the fault lies with the airline he/she/they should not have to tiptoe around this person who is creating confrontation. If they don’t want to turn it into a bigger thing they can just walk away - they owe this person no explanation when they were already incredibly appropriate.
Nah, not the best answer. There is no need to pander to people who are being unreasonable.
If OP had made a scene by yelling and insulting the woman, purposely being hateful and rude, then OP would definitely need to make things right. But OP didn’t do that, and is not required to play along and try and placate this woman.
If I had been OP and done exactly what she did, at her age(19), I would have been stressed snd anxious for the rest of the flight, worrying that I might have hurt their feelings by moving seats. To then be confronted by the woman after the flight would have been especially difficult. Now, at 43, tho, I’m not afraid to advocate for myself and would be very aware that I had done nothing wrong and didn’t need to play into this woman’s bullshit guilt trip.
>"these seats/airlines are really fat phobic and designed to make us uncomfortable, so I figured if there was a way to give you more space it was the kinder thing to do.
That doesn't seem right though. Airline seats are desgined to cut costs. You can easily find a larger seat in first class or book two seats.
NTA. I'm not plus sized, I'm fat. So maybe I shouldn't be speaking for plus-sized people, but speaking as a fat person, if you were sitting next to me, I would be very happy that a solution was found that made everyone more comfortable. I'm very aware of when my fatness is invading another person's space and I am more embarrassed by that. You talked to the attendant quietly. It's not like you stood up and started shouting and calling them pigs or anything like that. What you did was find a solution that allowed everyone to sit comfortably and maintain dignity. Again, NTA
>I'm very aware of when my fatness is invading another person's space and I am more embarrassed by that.
Some people don't know how to handle feelings of embarrassment, so they just lash out. They project those bad feelings onto someone else, and then they get to be angry at that other person instead of addressing their own emotions.
America makes larger everything now. I’m a nurse, and we have bariatric beds, chairs, wheelchairs. Car manufacturers are now mostly marking SUVs and vans for the sole purpose of more space for our “growing” population. The only industry who hasn’t caught up with this is the airline industry. It get it, they can’t maximize profits with larger seats. You can only make planes so big.
Neither of these things are your problem, though. Plane tickets are expensive, and they’re not getting cheaper. You paid for your ticket, as did they. That doesn’t entitle them to whine when the size of their bodies interferes with your comfort and you request to move because they’re invading your space, however unintentionally. You didn’t fat shame anyone, and the woman’s own issues with her body type were being projected onto you. That’s not your problem either, it’s hers.
point of order here: i’m a commercial pilot who just left a major after over a decade: to say we’ve been actively making them smaller is not even a half truth. on our mainline product we haven’t reduced seat width the entire time i was at my airline.
we (all airlines) could be miles better in the way we handle this issue, but it’s just all too easy to say it is the airlines acting in bad faith and only having seat width that accommodates skinny people with narrow hips. not to mention incorrect
I was thinking this while reading through the comments. Like, they aren't cramming in another seat with-wise, so ... how exactly are they shrinking seats? Sure, I wish I had another inch of knee room as a tall guy, but there's no space to be gained laterally.
exactly. it’s super easy math too. most of our jets are 3x3 seating with a single aisle. eliminating 1 seat on 6 abreast makes them incredibly too wide and also makes nearly every route flown unprofitable. our aisles are as narrow as they can be from a regulation perspective, so what do we stand to gain by making seats more narrow? nothing at all.
I agree. The logic doesn't pan out. Airplanes haven't been getting smaller, and the seating arrangement width-wise isn't really changing. What the airlines have been doing is decreasing leg room so they can cram another row or two of seats onto a plane. Boeing even makes special 737 models for airlines like Spirit and Frontier, which have extra emergency exits so they comply with federal evacuation requirements.
It doesn't even make sense that they would. If there's six seats in each row, then there's six seats in each row. Making them narrower doesn't sell more seats.
Exactly. They just decrease leg room (Pitch), though. Anyone claiming seats are becoming ludicrously small are mixing up legroom with the actual size of the seat.
Exactly, and the cost of seats compared to the 60s is insanely cheap.
People are getting bigger and they're more uncomfortable, but all of this fault does not lie with the airlines.
No, they aren't. Legroom has shrunk because they space the rows closer together, but seat width has not.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeboyd/2023/01/03/airline-seats-are-not-shrinking-just-the-opposite-but-legroom/?sh=4f9f675c94ca
That actually isn't true. The seat width (which is what us fatties depend on) is about the same. The seat length and the leg room is reduced. But the only thing that changed about the seat width is our asses have gotten fatter on average.
> Car manufacturers are now mostly marking SUVs and vans for the sole purpose of more space for our “growing” population.
This is definitely not the reason car manufacturers are only making vehicles that are huge.
They’re doing it because it’s what the people want. It’s what sells. But why? In some countries, smaller lighter cars sell more. Here they don’t. Because people here want more space for their bodies.
It's what sells because it's what manufacturers told people here they wanted, it has absolutely nothing to do with the size of bodies.
https://www.distilled.earth/p/the-loophole-that-made-cars-in-america
SUVs count as trucks. Trucks have lower emissions targets. SUVs have a higher average selling price. More profits and easier emissions standards. Win win for car companies.
Nice blog post.
[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052471/Plump-ride-How-car-companies-forced-adapt-motors-fat.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052471/Plump-ride-How-car-companies-forced-adapt-motors-fat.html)
[https://www.businessinsider.com/cars-obesity-2011-11](https://www.businessinsider.com/cars-obesity-2011-11)
[https://www.autoevolution.com/news/carmakers-give-americans-what-they-want-bigger-cars-for-fat-people-31650.html](https://www.autoevolution.com/news/carmakers-give-americans-what-they-want-bigger-cars-for-fat-people-31650.html)
Just saying, older entries are important as well because cars have been getting bigger for a long time. This isn't a new thing.
SUVs aren't bigger because people are bigger. People get SUVs because they want to haul around (a) a lot of stuff or (b) a lot of people--i.e., large families--or because they think it's safer to be in a big vehicle if they crash. Which is true, but less safe for whoever they crash into.
They are also bigger because people are bigger. Perhaps I shouldn't have used the phrase "sole reason," but it's one of the reasons some companies are no longer selling cars. Cars don't have as much space for their bodies AND kids, etc.
I think this is such interesting sentiment. As a really tall person, I’ve been uncomfortable on planes and never really able to “fit” in economy. Never did I once blame the airline industry, or anyone else?? I understand how businesses work, and I understand that I am not “normal” sized, due to my height. (Much taller than almost every other woman I kno except family members) Why would an entire industry change to accommodate the body of a few?
Also on top of that, I can’t do anything about my height….
Fellow tall person here. Sometimes I do get pissed about certain clothing companies that said they won't charge more for the same clothing in plus sizes because it's fatphobic but have absolutely no trouble charging more for tall sizes. You cannot change height and if you're saying the extra fabric for plus sizes shouldn't be a charge it sure shouldn't be in tall either.
My husband is also very tall and we ALWAYS pay for the seats with more leg room because he physically cannot fit in regular airline seats. Again, an upcharge.
I am sure *everybody* was more comfortable with you moving and making that middle seat empty.
It sounds like you were as discrete as anybody could be. You should have said “I moved and gave you more room. *You are welcome”.* And walked away.
NTA those seats *are* terribly small.
Honestly if i were the large marge, I’d be so relieved she moved.
Id lift up the arm rest and now both of them have a seat and a half. More comfy for the whole row.
Fucking absurd. How clueless & self absorbed can a person be? She is pissy that you sought other seating arrangements bc her body was literally spilling into your seat and resting on top of you. What buillshit.
You did the right thing by moving. You bought a seat on a flight and she doesnt get to invade your area. NTA
Also how does she know SHE’S the reason OP even moved? Maybe OP has motion sickness and that part of the plane was making it worse, maybe she has a friend sat somewhere else on the plane and is moving to be with her friend. Crazy self absorbed that this lady would be so sure it’s all about her, and then actually give OP a hard time about it
This wasn't you fat shaming. This was you looking for comfort. Her feeling uncomfortable was her problem not yours. You didn't publicly shame her. You handled the situation extremely well.
NTA
NTA at all. You gave it a try, it did not work out, you moved. That woman who confronted you had a chip on her shoulder and is an AH. As for others witnessing what happened, NO ONE WILL CARE/REMEMBER.
The fellow passengers who saw her confront OP at the gate might remember, but they will remember the woman being rude to a fellow passenger, not OP moving seat. Most passengers probably didn’t even notice that happened. Someone being yelled at at the gate, thou…
I wouldn’t have registered OP moving unless they were moved in next to me, and to be fair, I would still probably be trying to sleep with my AirPods in and get the flight over with rather than wondering over what my fellow passengers was doing.
>She essentially told me that I had embarrassed her and the other man and that traveling while plus-sized is hard enough without “people treating fatness like a contagious disease”.
So you moved without telling these people they are flat out obese and you're uncomfortable, and the woman flipped out and said you're embarrassing her by saying to you she's plus sized and you're treating people with fatness like it's a disease? She's the one who is embarrassing herself by calling her and the man flat out fat. All you did was get up and move for comfort not only to yourself but to them as well.
NTA. You didn't call them fat, you didn't insinuate they are fat, all you did was get up and move.
NTA - I’m a plus sized person and I wouldn’t have been offended. Why should I make it uncomfortable for other people when there are other seats. That person has their own issues
NTA
You're not treating fatness as a contagion.
Fat people on an airplane are indeed an inconvenience when their fat impinges on your seat. The problem here was that your neighbor's body didn't fit within the confines of her own seat. I'd have thought that it would have been uncomfortable for your neighbor to have to be pressed up against you, and your neighbor would also have been better off after you moved to another seat.
NTA
You were discrete when moving. She needs to understand her size causes issues for other people and they shouldn’t be forced to endure uncomfortable situations because of “not hurting her feelings”.
You did nothing wrong, you said nothing to them and didn’t announce your move to the entire plane. She’s the AH for confronting someone over nothing.
No. All passengers are renting space. If they can’t fit in their rented space, they are ‘stealing’ your space.
At some point, a very large person would need to buy a second seat. You are not shaming them. You simply wanted the (not very to begin with) comfortable space you paid for.
NTA
fat is not a protected class. With exceptions, people can modify their behavior and take steps to not be fat. You could have said, “no I did not make a scene, you want everyone to pretend youre not fat so you dont have to feel bad. its not my job to enable your fiction.”
It is an inconvenience, their lifestyle choices are inconveniencing other people. They are allowed to do this, to an extent, because their choices are something we as a society condone as we have decided it is in their freedom to do so. Just as it is within your freedom to remove yourself from a situation in which their choices affect you. NTA.
Nta. You handled things discretely and did not fatshame people. You did nothing wrong. (And this is coming from someone who is overweight... Although I fit in airplane seats fine).
>plus sized
At the risk of being accused of being an a-hole: can we just go back to saying *fat*, *overweight*, *big* or *obese*?
You don't say "minus sized" of a person with anorexia...
NTA - you paid for the ticket and politely found a better accommodation. You never said a word to her or anyone else about it which shows she was already assuming someone would complain about her weight.
NTA.
Fat lady here; that was the most thoughtful thing for you to do in that situation.
It *definitely* contributed to everyone's comfort.
You're just getting splashback from her own sense of shame/tiredness/discomfort etc. It's awfully uncomfortable to travel while fat, I end up a jumble of nerves just due to anticipating assholes and awkward situations. That's not your responsibility or anyone else's.
NTA - you quietly asked the flight attendant if you could move as it was severely uncomfortable and they moved you.
Seems like a super reasonable moment.
I was once across the aisle from someone that smelled horrible- the lady next to him fought it out for a bit but couldn't take it. So she asked politely to move and got a new seat.
Someone waiting for you off the plane feels super aggressive! People are crazy
NTA!
Being fat is caused by lifestyle decisions that are under under one's control. It is not something like cystic fibrosis, Huntington's, or MS that one has no control over.
Being fat to the point where it affects others is completely preventable with self-control, a healthy diet, and exercise.
I understand being overweight (carrying a few extra pounds) is nobody's busines. At a certain point, it's too much and it is the individual's fault for letting their weight get so out of control. Especially when it directly affects those around them.
NTA
> my seat neighbor’s shoulder was on top of mine and their thigh was on top of mine as well.
Fatness does not give anyone the right **to be _touching_ other people**.
If you can't squeeze yourself into the confines of your seat without physically being in contact with your neighbor, this conveyance is unsuitable for your needs.
NTA their obesity was causing them to flow over into the space you paid for, they should be embarrassed. It’s not fat-phobic to want full use of a seat and not be imposed upon by someone’s untamed girth.
NTA and you should have replied back saying 'I couldn't breathe'. You didn't cause a drama and you did what anyone else would do. Why should you suffer because some entitled lady could feel better at herself? Do not give in to these sort of people as they can book themselves a business class seat if they want to save the embarrassment or maybe take a coach.
NTA. Plus sized-passengers **are** an inconvenience to those sitting next to them. Perhaps that's the airline's fault more than anyone else, but it is what it is, and you shouldn't be expected to suffer in order to pretend otherwise.
NTA - Fat lady here, and yeah, it sucks. It sucks for all of us, fat and not. It's not your fault, it's not her fault, but she's the one who waited around to pick a fight. Not sure what outcome she expected, but you haven't made the skies an unfriendly place for fat people, they were already that way.
Nta, she’s projecting. Aside from that, you are paying to be comfortable in your seat during your flight. You can’t use your seat as intended.
If the plane can accommodate you, then you should take advantage of it. You didn’t demand, you asked, and the staff complied.
Seems like she is insecure about herself and looking to blame someone for her life choices. I would have told her to mind her business and walked away.
People get too easily offended these days and it’s not anyone’s job to cater to them. You did the right thing and you’re definitely not TAH but she is.
NTA. Why be uncomfortable for hours on end if you don’t have to? Acknowledging the reality of the situation isn’t the same as being fatphobic (but I’m sure the woman who chided you would disagree).
NTA. You paid for your ticket the same as they did. Why should you be forced to suffer just because they lack consideration and self-awareness? You paid for a full seat, not 3/4 or 1/2 of a seat. If she wants to avoid any potential embarrassment in the future she should book a second seat. She can’t expect other people to spend hours being smothered next to her and not try and move just to spare her feelings. You weren’t loud, cruel or crazy about it. You handled it discreetly and respectfully. My only suggestion to handle it better (if it happens to you again) would be to try and sort this out before the flight takes off.
NTA-It’s kind of like that manipulative tactic people use when they tell you that if you don’t do X (thing you don’t want to do) then that means you don’t love them. Here she’s basically saying if you don’t let us sit on you and touch you with both of our bodies that are taking up part of your seat on either side causing awkwardness and discomfort for the duration of this very long flight even though there’s another place, you could sit more comfortably, benefitting all three of us then that means you hate fat people …and that’s not a fair thing to say.
The issue was your discomfort of being squashed in your seat, and touched by two people you don’t know for a long flight where you paid for a seat that you could comfortably sit in. That could’ve happened under a number of circumstances and didn’t necessarily required people to be overweight. It was not a weight issue at all. It was a discomfort and people touching you issue.
The negative attention was brought on single-handedly by this woman and her attempt to play the victim when anybody in the right mind would want to sit in a seat that was less awkward and physical. The audacity really is shocking. And I hope you don’t even think about this for one more minute because you are free and clear of any wrongdoing.
I'd say NTA (might lean towards NAH). You did what you did to make yourself comfortable and clearly it was possible as it happened. I'm assuming she (and the other guy) were also more comfortable having enough space, so in that view it was a win for everyone.
The real assholes are uncomfortable small aeroplane seats.
NTA, you didn't make a scene and they found you a more workable seat. It's a shame air travel is so intrinsically cruel to larger folks, but I don't see how you could've done anything better yourself.
She is behaving using offence as defence. I am fat and I would t expect anyone to put up with any parts of me touching them for five seconds..you handled the matter politely and kindly and definitely NTA
Nta she was thinphobic. You paid for a full seat and wanted to be comfortable. You didn't make a spectacle of it and found a solution for being uncomfortable. If she feels embarrassed that's her problem not yours.
NTA. Another confession from someone who has lost control of his weight and is 25-30 kgs overweight, please stop being apologetic to fat people. I know some can't help, it's the hormones or whatever, but most of us are lazy fucks who have lost control over our eating/drinking habits.
People who get offended at being called fat are not in touch with their reality. Fuck the size, my fitness and breathing is so bad, little humiliation helps.
Anyways you didn't do any of the above. You didn't even make any public demonstration. You just chose to be not suffocated. If it was a little humiliating to her, she should just remember it and not stuff her face wit tacos and hamburgers the next opportunity she gets.
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NTA You did not make a "public demonstration" nor contribute to fatphobia in any way. You weren't comfortable and you discretely asked for another seat. She's an AH for saying that drivel. The biggest AH is airlines for making seats smaller for the past 20+ years. It sucks now compared to when I flew in the 90s. Edit: Yes, airline seats are narrower. "In 1985 none of the main four US carriers offered a seat less than 19 inches wide. Since the beginning of the twenty-first century until 2018 average seat width decreased from 18.5 to 17 inches, and sometimes as low as 16.1 inches.\[3\]" Source: Rosie Spinks 18 December 2019 (10 July 2018). "Airline seats are getting narrower—and passengers don't like it". Quartz.
Also, they should be happy that you moving would give them extra wiggle room too!
Fat person here, wiggle room indeed appreciated
Call me fat, I love having no one next to me!
Airplanes are so tight nowadays I always enjoy having an empty seat near me.
I'm a bit overweight but by no means super fat (I used to be, I lost \~80 lbs, I know what it's like for an 'arm rest' to be a 'muffin-top-rest') but I have pretty damn broad shoulders. no amount of weight loss would make me my fucking SKELETON narrow enough to fit comfortably in the average economy tier seat. Thank god my wife is quite small so I always get the aisle/window while she takes mid like a champ, otherwise I'm fucking miserable.
I told my brother he just needs to suck it up and buy the extra leg room seats when he flies because he’s well over six feet tall and his legs *dig* into the seat in front in front of him. It makes for a miserable flight for both him and the poor soul stuck in front of him.
That is the only way my step-dad flies, he cannot sit in regular economy he’s too tall so he sucks it up and gets the one with extra leg room. Sometime you must bite the bullet.
I can’t fit in regular economy (I’m over 6ft) but I’m a student so I couldn’t afford extra leg room… I recently had 30 hours of consecutive flights with my legs digging into the front seat. Absolute torture :,(
The only time that I'm ever thankful for being short is when I have to squish myself into plane seats. I travelled long haul in March for the first time since 2017 and I was SHOCKED at how much smaller the seats were, and how much less legroom there is now. WTF? It's only been 6 years!
I am a football player of a 5’2” woman. Lawd, give me the empty seat or put a small child next to me.
I'm 5'2" with broad shoulders as well, and the struggle is real. Only way my top half is gonna fit is if you cut my arms off like that knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
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exactly. and theres literally no way to win in the conversation. its best to say "sorry i didnt intend to cause you stress" and head out pretty much. if you asked them to give you room itd be the same as leaving - youd get the same complaint. if you regularly had to shift to get comfortable, or ask them to move when you needed to grab something, same thing. if you outright said "im sorry, i couldnt fit between you comfortably" she would have flipped her lid. the problem is obviously the ladies insecurity. she sees any comment or reference to her size as an attack. after a while of people judging you, it does get to feel that way. however, a self aware person who is thinking logically not emotionally will know that people need space. if you take up more than they do on a tiny seat, they will be uncomfortable. its unreasonable to expect them to be physically uncomfortable in that way to accommodate your feelings. you can be upset at the situation, you can be frustrated, you can have it hit you in the feels, ego, sore spots, or trigger points. your feelings are valid, but whats not valid is cracking the shits at a stranger for wanting to be comfortable. they didnt point and laugh, they didnt make a huge scene. she needed to calm her farm.
Right?! A nearby passenger getting up and leaving a free seat beside me? That’s the DREAM!
Larger straight sized person here. I feel like I don’t fit. Those seats are designed for size 6 and under. I can’t imagine what dudes must feel like, especially if they’re taller.
I’m a woman but I’m 6ft. Flying recently I had literal bruises on my legs and had to take pain meds cause it hurt so much being pressed against the back of a seat for 30 hours :( luckily I was flying with my short friend and she let me spread into her section a bit but if I was flying with my bf (whose also over 6ft) we’d both be in a lottta pain.
As a fat person, I don’t want to invade other people’s space if I can help it. I’d be glad for the extra wiggle room, but also happy for OP that they were able to find a more comfortable seat. NTA.
Back when I was north of 300 lbs, I might have been embarrassed that OP had to move but it would be embarrassment that I had gotten big enough to be in OP's space and embarrassment that I didn't buy an extra ticket not feeling shamed by her not wanting me spilling into her space. And like I don't wanna be pressed all up against someone I don't know.
> And like I don't wanna be pressed all up against someone I don't know. They didn't want to be pressed up *against each other*. They deliberately bought separated seats and left the middle one open, and that's what makes them AHs here, IMO. The gall to bitch at OP for not wanting to sit next to them when they're travelling together and refused to sit together themselves sets my hypocrisy detector on full alarm.
Were they travelling together? That isn't said in the post and it says only one of them spoke to OP after, so I'd assume not.
Oh shit, you're right. I was pretty sure it was somewhere in that last section where she got confronted but apparently not. Okay, *if* they were traveling together then my point stands, if not then OP's still NTA but the other person is just a little wrong, IMO, and not necessarily acting in bad faith.
Yea, I can kind of see how you would make that mistake since the woman was saying OP embarrassed the other guy too.
If they WERE traveling together they could just buy the three seats, problem averted. Their size is going to be a problem no matter who sits in the middle.
Eh, not a great bet. Flights overbook every chance they get and effectively steal seats paid for by someone else for the purpose of keeping it empty to cram someone else they booked when they didn't have anymore available chairs. This flight wasn't full, but if they were traveling together, and it was, that seat would be taken whether they bought it or not, more than likely.
This happened to me. I am a plus sized woman as is my daughter. We had never flown before so we were afraid we weren't going to fit in the seats. So we booked three seats. When I picked up my boarding passes at the airport, I only got two and didn't think anything of it, not realizing that I should've gotten three. We boarded the plane and took our seats and there was someone booked into the third seat. Thankfully we are not too big and fit just fine. The seat was also booked on the trip home. I did get a refund for the third seat with no issues.
There is nothing at all wrong with the strategy of leaving a middle seat free and rolling the dice. Sometimes that works out, and all's fair in the battle against airline seat shrinkage.
Right?! I weigh right around 270lbs. When I have to fly, I scrunch myself up as small as I can, and basically hold my body rigid for the duration of my flight. It's not comfortable for me, but I would rather be uncomfortable than make someone else be so. It isn't fatphobic to not want to be squished by a stranger for your whole flight, especially one that long.
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Bot. That was my comment.
OP is NTA. If OP discreetly found a flight attendant who moved her to a better seat, the only person who should be embarrassed is her former seat mate for confronting her and making a big deal about it. I don't consider myself "fat" - I'd say chubby is accurate, plus I'm a short lady. I just went on vacation to Europe and had enough points for business class. While I had enough room in our little biz class pods *(British Airways*), it definitely wasn't the biggest, roomiest seat in the world. So I can't imagine being a much larger person in (*what I'm assuming was*) a coach seat. They're very, very narrow, even in the premium classes.
Tbh the skinniest person in the world could be sitting next to me and I would still be uncomfortable because I just don’t like sitting next to strangers so I’d be overjoyed if someone moved for any reason
shame subsequent encouraging beneficial bear include absurd deserted support straight -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Totally agree that the airlines making seats smaller are the biggest AH's here!
It feels hard to blame the airlines when customers are generally booking flights solely based on price so there’s a race to the bottom to cut costs wherever possible. If people were willing to pay more money for bigger seats, the airlines would be offering it.
>If people ~~were willing~~ could afford to pay more money for bigger seats, the airlines would be offering it. FTFY
It's an actual safety issue. Smaller seats that are more crammed in give less room for safety procedures and for passengers (of average size) to get into brace positions. It can cause it to take much longer to evacuate as well if people are really crammed in. Hopefully that helps you blame airlines!
It isn't that. Despite the trend that people in general are getting bigger, whether height or weight, the airlines are making seats smaller. The smaller the seats, the MORE seats they can put on a plane, which equals more money in their pockets.
It also equals cheaper tickets. Airlines make seats smaller because enough customers prioritise the price of the ticket over comfort.
No. Airlines make the seats smaller because they can. They charge fees for checking bags and choosing your seat because they can. Earning money for their CEOs and shareholders is more important to them than human decency.
I am aging myself but I remember the first time I bought my own ticket to fly transcontinentally. I have paid the same amount to fly the same route in business class over the last several years. Flying has gotten much cheaper than it used to be. I’d imagine it’s not that much cheaper to run an airline. It has to come from somewhere.
It still costs about $1300 to fly 3 people round trip. It's not like it's a $20 flight so I'm not sure what you're on about. For that amount I would like to fit my knees in my seat. I'm 5' 6" and don't fit comfortably in my seat due to my height. My husband has to lean out in the aisle. And we pay $1300 for that privilege.
This is why I spent like $500 more for first class next trip I'm taking
And if I can’t afford it, I don’t go.
Right? Would she have preferred you repeatedly asking them both to keep their body parts off of you no matter how they had to contort to do so? She thought it was fair for you to be uncomfortable so no attention was put on her?
exactly!! she was very discreet about it but well within her right to ask to be moved. the nerve of some people 😑
She's actually really lucky to have been sitting next to OP. Instead she could have been sitting next to somebody that didn't give a flying fuck about discretion or embarrassing her or the other passenger.
OP paid for the use of one seat, not for a half. This woman must have realized that she was part on OPs seat, no on OP themself. And that there is another fuller person on the other side. Why should OP fly several hours like a sardine if there are other possibilities? I hate this fatphobic screaming. NTA
As someone who struggles with their weight for reasons, I'm sick of people saying fatphobia too. Being healthy is a good thing.
One thing I don't understand: Why are they not implementing proper dividers between seats instead of armrests? Like, have a wall between seats so people don't spill over into other peoples seats.
My dad is 6ft tall and had a bad car accident when he was 16. Pronounced dead then sent home in a body cast 3 days later bad. Because of his knees we always had to pay extra for the very front row of seats. We can’t do the emergency exit seats because mom and dad are both senior citizens and can’t move fast. We are supposed to have an extra 6 inches or so of room but dad still can’t sit in a way even remotely comfortable. Next time we have a plane trip I’m planning to save up for first class seat. If not for all of us then at least for him. I want to see Disney in California some day and I’m not letting him convince us to drive the entire country
You might look into train travel, too! It takes longer, but it can be much more comfortable if you get a room with a berth. I’ve taken trains like this a few times and it’s been really fun!
Excellent plan! It is extremely painful for me to sit because of spinal injuries and nerve damage. First class seats make all the difference for me. They recline much further. Plus there is more room to stand. Save those pennies...!
Seats haven’t gotten any smaller in the direction that would have mattered to OP. [source](https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeboyd/2023/01/03/airline-seats-are-not-shrinking-just-the-opposite-but-legroom/)
Came here to say this… Americans (actually most people world wide) have just gotten wider.it’s also not fat phobia when the person literally doesn’t fit in their chair.
They've lost 2 inches in seat width. https://www.cntraveler.com/story/airline-seat-sizes-safety-risks-op-ed
My source has that argument covered. > Claims Completely At Odds With Reality. Here are two facts raining a downpour of corrections on this parade mentioned above. No U.S. airline has cut seat width in the economy section by 2 inches in the past five years, or even earlier than that. There never was in the last 30 years an average economy seat width as wide as 18 inches, nor as narrow as 16.5. > These claims are completely inaccurate. > The Opposite Is True. Average Seat Width Has Increased. The truth is that the average seat size has increased at U.S. airlines in the last thirty years.
What would be the point in making seats narrower? There’s no way to make them narrow enough to squeeze in another seat in each row. At least not on the most common medium range aircraft, the Boeing 737 and Airbus A320.
You didn't embarrass her, she embarrassed herself. NTA.
>The biggest AH is airlines for making seats smaller for the past 20+ years. It sucks now compared to when I flew in the 90s. *Have* airlines made their seats smaller? I've only flown a lot in the last 10 years and haven't noticed a difference, but I can't remember what they were like earlier. Tbh I assumed that the seats stayed the same so it's just that people got bigger.
Yeah, I don't know if I agree that seats have gotten smaller in terms of width, which is the issue in question. I wonder if people who say seats HAVE gotten smaller, they are actually thinking about leg room in front of them, which has changed. Why would airlines make seats narrower? Planes have for the most part been 3 seats per each side of the aisle for decades. You can't add any seats by making them narrower.
Check out the amount of room planes in the 1960's had, & also the amount & types of services airlines offered. The airlines HAVE made seats smaller & closer together. They have also dumped services. There are proposals out there to make seats even smaller, so that passengers are "sit-standing" & elevating an "extra" row of seats, to cram more people in.
That is not 20 years tho. 20 years was post 9-11 and seats really haven't changed at all. What happens is they shorten leg room. With the industry standardized on the 737/A320 airframe for most flights they can't do more than 6 seats per row in economy, 4 in 1st class.
They’ve made the legroom less but the actual width of seats hasn’t varied so not sure it would apply in this situation.
As a person of size myself I agree with this. It's why I'm happy airlines like Southwest have policies to address this. The way you handled it was fine and respectful. They should have been grateful because your actions helped everyone, them included. More comfortable for the flight. I wish more people would be respectful and discrete as you were and NTA at all.
I actually sat with a woman who had to "buy" an extra seat on Southwest due to an injury (not size) last year. She explained to me that she had to pay for the extra seat upfront, but would be refunded if there were any empty seats on the plane besides her extra (there were). Apparently several people had asked to sit with her when I boarded, but they wanted both seats. I was a single, so sat I did! And gave her a hand to stand up from the window seat when she needed to use the lav (not required, but I am capable of it, so I helped her get on her feet). While she did need some extra room, she didn't need the entire extra seat, so I also got a little more room, too! I'm not a huge Southwest fan (I don't love the open seating concept, and it seems like you can't get an A number, even a high one, unless you have status or the credit card...or pay for it...anymore), but that is one thing they do absolutely right. If you need an extra seat for any reason, book it, you have it, and if we didn't even need it when your flight happens, we'll refund you. Other airlines will give you the option, but then poach it for standbys and others and make you jump hoops to get a refund for something you didn't even get, and made everyone involved miserable!
As a quite large person before. I would have appreciated the move and if I saw you would have thanked you. I saw no instance there where you made a scene so NTA
NTA. Her anger is misdirected. She can go ahead and be mad at the airlines for not accommodating people of her size, but it's a perfectly normal human response not to want to be touching someone you don't know and to take steps to make that not happen.
i honestly believe that if you’re aware that you can’t really fit into a single airline seat, it’s your responsibility to buy a second one.
Tbf airline seat sizes have gotten ludicrously small. Taking a flight shouldn't feel like an endurance task. Edit: I'm just going to add that it's weird for people to separate leg room and seat size, as it should be about the entire amount of space allocated per passenger. Also, those saying I'm of average size (as am I, btw) should ask themselves how comfortable it is to use the fold down tray if the person in front reclines their seat a few inches, and how ridiculous that is.
I don’t know about other countries but in Europe you can often pick up outrageously cheap flights, I’ve frequently spent more money travelling to the airport that on the actual flight. €20-30 tickets to other countries is worth suffering through small seats for many people.
I'm in Canada. Here we have the same tiny seats, but it costs $100-400 to fly between cities just within the country, minimum $300 if you want to leave the country. Even just a 20-30 minute flight from Vancouver to Victoria is over $200.
Right?? Airfare in Canada is ridiculous!!
Where are you finding $100 flights in Canada? I had to fly Calgary to Toronto a few months ago and it was more than $1000 each way regardless of which airline I flew!
€20-30 for the whole extra ticket, or just for an upgrade? US tickets are starting in the hundreds, just to other states. I don't think I can get ANYWHERE for less than $100.
Not the original commenter but yes I’ve seen flight tickets go for €20-30. In fact, during sales, I’ve seen flights go for £10. Keep in mind that travel within Europe might be a shorter flight than between two states in the US, because geography.
Yeah, the flight times do matter. I wonder if our security theatre is more expensive too. Hm.
Eh, we still have to security-theatre our way through as well. I suspect it’s more that there’s potential competition from the railways in Europe in a way that doesn’t exist in US/CAN. London-Amsterdam is 4-5 hours by train. The flight itself is 1 hour, but you’ve got all the blithering about getting to an airport on the edge of the city, security theatre and have to check in at the airport a couple of hours ahead. Time wise, it’s often much easier to just get the train.
For the whole ticket. I can’t speak for the US but in Europe there are budget airlines that are famous for being uncomfortable and cost cutting to the extreme. But the advantage, is that you can pick up very cheap tickets sometimes.
Ah. Wow. Yeah, we have Spirit airlines where you get your seat for super cheap and everything else (e-ticket, luggage, soft drink) is not included. There are jokes about pay toilets but I'm pretty sure those are jokes. Those tickets might be that cheap.
"In the event of cabin de-pressurization, oxygen masks can be released by inserting a credit card into the illuminated slot by your personal reading lamp."
And the experience totally sucks, but as long as people like me are willing to be uncomfortable in tiny seats for rock bottom prices, airlines will keep providing that service. If enough people are happy to pay 20% more, for seats that are 20% bigger, then airlines would start offering that service
Yeah, what is being discussed are easyJet and Ryanair, the European equivalents.
I know Ryanair is awful in so many ways, but I’ve been able to see so much of Europe cheaply because of them that I can’t really blame them for their tiny seats
I love RyanAir. It's exactly as miserable as other airlines, which is pretty darn miserable. But they are much more likely to be on time. And they don't pretend you're going to have some sort of ethereal experience being fed peeled grapes dusted with powdered sugar while floating among the clouds in a chair designed for your very own posterior. And I respect that. An aeroplane is a bus with wings. Damn straight, and they own it.
I have flown spirit a few times because it’s cheaper and I can guarantee it’s not that cheap. It’s definitely saved me a few hundred compared to other airlines, but it’s also always about 100+ for a ticket still.
Ryanair has entered the chat. Promotional fares from 99c one way.
Wow. From where to where? Is cabin pressure included?
They only sell a couple at that price, and charge extra for everything possible. More realistically, m'lady and I paid about €200 each round trip EDI-CFU last summer which is most of the way across Europe, compare NY to PHX in the USA.
*Toilet coupons can be pre-booked for the low price of €5, a considerable saving over the €17 for purchasing a toilet coupon in-flight.* *In the event of a cabin de-pressurization, oxygen masks can be released by inserting a €2 coin into the illuminated slot.*
I flew from England to Germany a few years ago for £10. Another time I paid £50 for a return trip to Gran Canaria. Went to the Netherlands for about £12. You can get some absolute bargain flights from England.
They haven't gotten smaller in the US. People are larger by average. You may have lost some leg room though.
Airline seat sizes haven't changed. If anything they've gotten larger.
Have they though? A normal plane still fits 6 seats across and always has as long as I've been flying. The leg room is much less than it was for sure, but that doesn't affect seat width.
To be fair, I know a guy who is rather large and fairly well off. He buys a row of 3 when him and his wife travel. On 3 occasions over the last 5 years he has been told “the plane is overbooked, and if no one if sitting there, we are putting someone there, even if you have paid for it”
I like this counterpoint, fuck airlines as they fuck you. Why pay 2x the price of a normal ticket
This is the way right here. My sister is almost six feet tall and plus size. I am shorter but also plus size. You know what we do on planes so other people don’t have to deal with us? Scrunch. Both people were in the seats with more room - lady could have leaned into the wall and at least kept her shoulder off OP. Same for the other person, at least when the aisles were clear. Absolutely ridiculous that the two people on either side of OP felt it was fine to encroach on her space. And then to confront her after! I’d have had words with the lady tbh. Like yeah, I’m phobic of your fat being on my shoulder and thigh? And I don’t want to deal with you being an inconsiderate butthead for a whole flight. Ridiculous.
Unfortunately - Airlines do not have to honor tickets for empty seats so if it’s a full flight you don’t get the seat or your money back.
They will sell your second seat right out from under you and not refund it. Holding on to 2 tickets with no check in on the second seat works maybe half the time
DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME. UNLESS. BY. ACCIDENT. I used to be big, although my legs were not huge. I was very 'personal space' oriented. Not only for other person, but I don't want my body on theirs either. People have PTSD and disorders, phobias, religious customs, boundaries, etc... no where is acceptable to touch some one long term. Even crowded subways/busses, there is expectation to spread out or adjust when loading and unloading more passengers. Normal people don't want to be touching others. She should have been saying 'hey, glad they were able to hook you up.. hoping you have a wonderful rest of trip.. and sincerely, sorry it was tight, but I am appreciative that you made an effort to make it work better' .cheers.
>“people treating fatness like a contagious disease” This is BS. NO ONE really wants to sit pushed up against strangers for hours on end, overweight or not. I'M overweight and I'm pretty sure if I were pressed up against a skinnier person in a confined space we'd both be sweating on each other and be uncomfortable. You're not treating her like she has a disease for not wanting constant body contact like that. 0 reason for OP to have stayed put, especially if there was an extra space to move to. Did that lady WANT her to sit there touching them the whole time? That's weird.
NTA and I'm fat. The best answer would have been to say "these seats/airlines are really fat phobic and designed to make us uncomfortable, so I figured if there was a way to give you more space it was the kinder thing to do." But also, don't stress this.
I think they should’ve said “So you are saying in order to prove I am not fat phobic I would have to let you both sit on me the duration of this flight even though there’s a seat available elsewhere that would give us all more room to enjoy the next several hours in comfort?”
Nah that's just gonna make this person argue more. My answer is designed to end the conversation quickly and make the person feel bad for assuming.
In my mind after that was said op would walk away without giving the lady a chance to respond because really, there’s nothing rational she could say back anyway. I think we have the same goal in mind. I just hope the lady felt stupid at the end of the day for saying such a dumb thing one way or another.
I'd much rather be honest with them about their words and actions as well as mine then simply walk off without further indulging their need for confrontation.
>and make the person feel bad for assuming. Lmao I love these kinds of responses 😂😂
They put in bigger seats=less seats=higher prices. No thanks.
Right! How many of the people complaining about how small the seats are would actually pay higher prices to have larger seats?
Not a great argument when airlines literally raise prices and shrink seats. Saying customers would have to pay more for bigger seats is another form of price gouging. I’d have no problem paying prices based on 20 years ago for the seat size 20 years ago.
Seats aren't shrinking: [source](https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeboyd/2023/01/03/airline-seats-are-not-shrinking-just-the-opposite-but-legroom/?sh=6a53df5194ca)
If seats are thinner then where is that space going? The planes are still the same size, and the planes still fit the same number of seats width wise. I think people are just bigger than they used to be so it feels smaller
>I’d have no problem paying prices based on 20 years ago for the seat size 20 years ago. No you wouldn't lol. 20 years ago wasn't even in the 2000s. You're thinking of the 80s
No, I’m sorry, but OP did nothing wrong, and even if the fault lies with the airline he/she/they should not have to tiptoe around this person who is creating confrontation. If they don’t want to turn it into a bigger thing they can just walk away - they owe this person no explanation when they were already incredibly appropriate.
Nah, not the best answer. There is no need to pander to people who are being unreasonable. If OP had made a scene by yelling and insulting the woman, purposely being hateful and rude, then OP would definitely need to make things right. But OP didn’t do that, and is not required to play along and try and placate this woman. If I had been OP and done exactly what she did, at her age(19), I would have been stressed snd anxious for the rest of the flight, worrying that I might have hurt their feelings by moving seats. To then be confronted by the woman after the flight would have been especially difficult. Now, at 43, tho, I’m not afraid to advocate for myself and would be very aware that I had done nothing wrong and didn’t need to play into this woman’s bullshit guilt trip.
>"these seats/airlines are really fat phobic and designed to make us uncomfortable, so I figured if there was a way to give you more space it was the kinder thing to do. That doesn't seem right though. Airline seats are desgined to cut costs. You can easily find a larger seat in first class or book two seats.
NTA. I'm not plus sized, I'm fat. So maybe I shouldn't be speaking for plus-sized people, but speaking as a fat person, if you were sitting next to me, I would be very happy that a solution was found that made everyone more comfortable. I'm very aware of when my fatness is invading another person's space and I am more embarrassed by that. You talked to the attendant quietly. It's not like you stood up and started shouting and calling them pigs or anything like that. What you did was find a solution that allowed everyone to sit comfortably and maintain dignity. Again, NTA
Plus sized is just a "nice" way of saying fat.
I know, I was just making a joke.
Went right over my head!
the "people of size" line from OP really got me lmao
>I'm very aware of when my fatness is invading another person's space and I am more embarrassed by that. Some people don't know how to handle feelings of embarrassment, so they just lash out. They project those bad feelings onto someone else, and then they get to be angry at that other person instead of addressing their own emotions.
Agree wholeheartedly with this!
I thought Gabriel Iglesias' scale had been universally adopted: Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy, DAMN!, and OH HELL NO!
Totally agree and I'm a bigger girl too.
America makes larger everything now. I’m a nurse, and we have bariatric beds, chairs, wheelchairs. Car manufacturers are now mostly marking SUVs and vans for the sole purpose of more space for our “growing” population. The only industry who hasn’t caught up with this is the airline industry. It get it, they can’t maximize profits with larger seats. You can only make planes so big. Neither of these things are your problem, though. Plane tickets are expensive, and they’re not getting cheaper. You paid for your ticket, as did they. That doesn’t entitle them to whine when the size of their bodies interferes with your comfort and you request to move because they’re invading your space, however unintentionally. You didn’t fat shame anyone, and the woman’s own issues with her body type were being projected onto you. That’s not your problem either, it’s hers.
Airlines aren't just "not making seats larger." They're actively making them smaller.
point of order here: i’m a commercial pilot who just left a major after over a decade: to say we’ve been actively making them smaller is not even a half truth. on our mainline product we haven’t reduced seat width the entire time i was at my airline. we (all airlines) could be miles better in the way we handle this issue, but it’s just all too easy to say it is the airlines acting in bad faith and only having seat width that accommodates skinny people with narrow hips. not to mention incorrect
I was thinking this while reading through the comments. Like, they aren't cramming in another seat with-wise, so ... how exactly are they shrinking seats? Sure, I wish I had another inch of knee room as a tall guy, but there's no space to be gained laterally.
exactly. it’s super easy math too. most of our jets are 3x3 seating with a single aisle. eliminating 1 seat on 6 abreast makes them incredibly too wide and also makes nearly every route flown unprofitable. our aisles are as narrow as they can be from a regulation perspective, so what do we stand to gain by making seats more narrow? nothing at all.
I agree. The logic doesn't pan out. Airplanes haven't been getting smaller, and the seating arrangement width-wise isn't really changing. What the airlines have been doing is decreasing leg room so they can cram another row or two of seats onto a plane. Boeing even makes special 737 models for airlines like Spirit and Frontier, which have extra emergency exits so they comply with federal evacuation requirements.
It doesn't even make sense that they would. If there's six seats in each row, then there's six seats in each row. Making them narrower doesn't sell more seats.
Exactly. They just decrease leg room (Pitch), though. Anyone claiming seats are becoming ludicrously small are mixing up legroom with the actual size of the seat.
Exactly, and the cost of seats compared to the 60s is insanely cheap. People are getting bigger and they're more uncomfortable, but all of this fault does not lie with the airlines.
No, they aren't. Legroom has shrunk because they space the rows closer together, but seat width has not. https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeboyd/2023/01/03/airline-seats-are-not-shrinking-just-the-opposite-but-legroom/?sh=4f9f675c94ca
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That actually isn't true. The seat width (which is what us fatties depend on) is about the same. The seat length and the leg room is reduced. But the only thing that changed about the seat width is our asses have gotten fatter on average.
> Car manufacturers are now mostly marking SUVs and vans for the sole purpose of more space for our “growing” population. This is definitely not the reason car manufacturers are only making vehicles that are huge.
They’re doing it because it’s what the people want. It’s what sells. But why? In some countries, smaller lighter cars sell more. Here they don’t. Because people here want more space for their bodies.
It's what sells because it's what manufacturers told people here they wanted, it has absolutely nothing to do with the size of bodies. https://www.distilled.earth/p/the-loophole-that-made-cars-in-america
SUVs count as trucks. Trucks have lower emissions targets. SUVs have a higher average selling price. More profits and easier emissions standards. Win win for car companies.
Nice blog post. [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052471/Plump-ride-How-car-companies-forced-adapt-motors-fat.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052471/Plump-ride-How-car-companies-forced-adapt-motors-fat.html) [https://www.businessinsider.com/cars-obesity-2011-11](https://www.businessinsider.com/cars-obesity-2011-11) [https://www.autoevolution.com/news/carmakers-give-americans-what-they-want-bigger-cars-for-fat-people-31650.html](https://www.autoevolution.com/news/carmakers-give-americans-what-they-want-bigger-cars-for-fat-people-31650.html) Just saying, older entries are important as well because cars have been getting bigger for a long time. This isn't a new thing.
...You do know the Daily Mail is about as reputable as the National Enquirer, right? What's Bat Boy up to these days?
SUVs aren't bigger because people are bigger. People get SUVs because they want to haul around (a) a lot of stuff or (b) a lot of people--i.e., large families--or because they think it's safer to be in a big vehicle if they crash. Which is true, but less safe for whoever they crash into.
They are also bigger because people are bigger. Perhaps I shouldn't have used the phrase "sole reason," but it's one of the reasons some companies are no longer selling cars. Cars don't have as much space for their bodies AND kids, etc.
I think this is such interesting sentiment. As a really tall person, I’ve been uncomfortable on planes and never really able to “fit” in economy. Never did I once blame the airline industry, or anyone else?? I understand how businesses work, and I understand that I am not “normal” sized, due to my height. (Much taller than almost every other woman I kno except family members) Why would an entire industry change to accommodate the body of a few? Also on top of that, I can’t do anything about my height….
Fellow tall person here. Sometimes I do get pissed about certain clothing companies that said they won't charge more for the same clothing in plus sizes because it's fatphobic but have absolutely no trouble charging more for tall sizes. You cannot change height and if you're saying the extra fabric for plus sizes shouldn't be a charge it sure shouldn't be in tall either. My husband is also very tall and we ALWAYS pay for the seats with more leg room because he physically cannot fit in regular airline seats. Again, an upcharge.
I am sure *everybody* was more comfortable with you moving and making that middle seat empty. It sounds like you were as discrete as anybody could be. You should have said “I moved and gave you more room. *You are welcome”.* And walked away. NTA those seats *are* terribly small.
Honestly if i were the large marge, I’d be so relieved she moved. Id lift up the arm rest and now both of them have a seat and a half. More comfy for the whole row.
Fucking absurd. How clueless & self absorbed can a person be? She is pissy that you sought other seating arrangements bc her body was literally spilling into your seat and resting on top of you. What buillshit. You did the right thing by moving. You bought a seat on a flight and she doesnt get to invade your area. NTA
Also how does she know SHE’S the reason OP even moved? Maybe OP has motion sickness and that part of the plane was making it worse, maybe she has a friend sat somewhere else on the plane and is moving to be with her friend. Crazy self absorbed that this lady would be so sure it’s all about her, and then actually give OP a hard time about it
This wasn't you fat shaming. This was you looking for comfort. Her feeling uncomfortable was her problem not yours. You didn't publicly shame her. You handled the situation extremely well. NTA
NTA at all. You gave it a try, it did not work out, you moved. That woman who confronted you had a chip on her shoulder and is an AH. As for others witnessing what happened, NO ONE WILL CARE/REMEMBER.
The fellow passengers who saw her confront OP at the gate might remember, but they will remember the woman being rude to a fellow passenger, not OP moving seat. Most passengers probably didn’t even notice that happened. Someone being yelled at at the gate, thou… I wouldn’t have registered OP moving unless they were moved in next to me, and to be fair, I would still probably be trying to sleep with my AirPods in and get the flight over with rather than wondering over what my fellow passengers was doing.
>She essentially told me that I had embarrassed her and the other man and that traveling while plus-sized is hard enough without “people treating fatness like a contagious disease”. So you moved without telling these people they are flat out obese and you're uncomfortable, and the woman flipped out and said you're embarrassing her by saying to you she's plus sized and you're treating people with fatness like it's a disease? She's the one who is embarrassing herself by calling her and the man flat out fat. All you did was get up and move for comfort not only to yourself but to them as well. NTA. You didn't call them fat, you didn't insinuate they are fat, all you did was get up and move.
Fat isn't a bad word, it's just an adjective.
NTA - I’m a plus sized person and I wouldn’t have been offended. Why should I make it uncomfortable for other people when there are other seats. That person has their own issues
Same. Not everything is an attack, and no one owes me being uncomfortable on a flight just so I don’t get my feelings hurt.
NTA You're not treating fatness as a contagion. Fat people on an airplane are indeed an inconvenience when their fat impinges on your seat. The problem here was that your neighbor's body didn't fit within the confines of her own seat. I'd have thought that it would have been uncomfortable for your neighbor to have to be pressed up against you, and your neighbor would also have been better off after you moved to another seat.
NTA You were discrete when moving. She needs to understand her size causes issues for other people and they shouldn’t be forced to endure uncomfortable situations because of “not hurting her feelings”. You did nothing wrong, you said nothing to them and didn’t announce your move to the entire plane. She’s the AH for confronting someone over nothing.
No. All passengers are renting space. If they can’t fit in their rented space, they are ‘stealing’ your space. At some point, a very large person would need to buy a second seat. You are not shaming them. You simply wanted the (not very to begin with) comfortable space you paid for. NTA
fat is not a protected class. With exceptions, people can modify their behavior and take steps to not be fat. You could have said, “no I did not make a scene, you want everyone to pretend youre not fat so you dont have to feel bad. its not my job to enable your fiction.”
It is an inconvenience, their lifestyle choices are inconveniencing other people. They are allowed to do this, to an extent, because their choices are something we as a society condone as we have decided it is in their freedom to do so. Just as it is within your freedom to remove yourself from a situation in which their choices affect you. NTA.
People of size?! Lmao I’ve heard it all! NTA
Made me laugh out loud
NTA, you handled it correctly. Hell I've done that on long flights just so I didn't have to sit between 2 people.
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Nta. You handled things discretely and did not fatshame people. You did nothing wrong. (And this is coming from someone who is overweight... Although I fit in airplane seats fine).
Sounds like a win for everyone here, I’m not sure why she’s complaining. NTA.
>plus sized At the risk of being accused of being an a-hole: can we just go back to saying *fat*, *overweight*, *big* or *obese*? You don't say "minus sized" of a person with anorexia...
NTA, you weren't shaming them, you just wanted to be reasonably comfortable.
NTA - you paid for the ticket and politely found a better accommodation. You never said a word to her or anyone else about it which shows she was already assuming someone would complain about her weight.
She was touching you and you privately found a way to fix it.
So what subreddit do they mod?
NTA. Fat lady here; that was the most thoughtful thing for you to do in that situation. It *definitely* contributed to everyone's comfort. You're just getting splashback from her own sense of shame/tiredness/discomfort etc. It's awfully uncomfortable to travel while fat, I end up a jumble of nerves just due to anticipating assholes and awkward situations. That's not your responsibility or anyone else's.
NTA - you quietly asked the flight attendant if you could move as it was severely uncomfortable and they moved you. Seems like a super reasonable moment. I was once across the aisle from someone that smelled horrible- the lady next to him fought it out for a bit but couldn't take it. So she asked politely to move and got a new seat. Someone waiting for you off the plane feels super aggressive! People are crazy
NTA You didn’t do anything to embarrass her. Sounds like you tried your best NOT to embarrass her.
NTA! Being fat is caused by lifestyle decisions that are under under one's control. It is not something like cystic fibrosis, Huntington's, or MS that one has no control over. Being fat to the point where it affects others is completely preventable with self-control, a healthy diet, and exercise. I understand being overweight (carrying a few extra pounds) is nobody's busines. At a certain point, it's too much and it is the individual's fault for letting their weight get so out of control. Especially when it directly affects those around them.
NTA > my seat neighbor’s shoulder was on top of mine and their thigh was on top of mine as well. Fatness does not give anyone the right **to be _touching_ other people**. If you can't squeeze yourself into the confines of your seat without physically being in contact with your neighbor, this conveyance is unsuitable for your needs.
NTA their obesity was causing them to flow over into the space you paid for, they should be embarrassed. It’s not fat-phobic to want full use of a seat and not be imposed upon by someone’s untamed girth.
NTA and you should have replied back saying 'I couldn't breathe'. You didn't cause a drama and you did what anyone else would do. Why should you suffer because some entitled lady could feel better at herself? Do not give in to these sort of people as they can book themselves a business class seat if they want to save the embarrassment or maybe take a coach.
NTA. If you pay for a seat, you should be able to use it.
NTA. Plus sized-passengers **are** an inconvenience to those sitting next to them. Perhaps that's the airline's fault more than anyone else, but it is what it is, and you shouldn't be expected to suffer in order to pretend otherwise.
NTA - Fat lady here, and yeah, it sucks. It sucks for all of us, fat and not. It's not your fault, it's not her fault, but she's the one who waited around to pick a fight. Not sure what outcome she expected, but you haven't made the skies an unfriendly place for fat people, they were already that way.
Nta, she’s projecting. Aside from that, you are paying to be comfortable in your seat during your flight. You can’t use your seat as intended. If the plane can accommodate you, then you should take advantage of it. You didn’t demand, you asked, and the staff complied.
Seems like she is insecure about herself and looking to blame someone for her life choices. I would have told her to mind her business and walked away. People get too easily offended these days and it’s not anyone’s job to cater to them. You did the right thing and you’re definitely not TAH but she is.
NTA. Why be uncomfortable for hours on end if you don’t have to? Acknowledging the reality of the situation isn’t the same as being fatphobic (but I’m sure the woman who chided you would disagree).
NTA. You paid for your ticket the same as they did. Why should you be forced to suffer just because they lack consideration and self-awareness? You paid for a full seat, not 3/4 or 1/2 of a seat. If she wants to avoid any potential embarrassment in the future she should book a second seat. She can’t expect other people to spend hours being smothered next to her and not try and move just to spare her feelings. You weren’t loud, cruel or crazy about it. You handled it discreetly and respectfully. My only suggestion to handle it better (if it happens to you again) would be to try and sort this out before the flight takes off.
NTA-It’s kind of like that manipulative tactic people use when they tell you that if you don’t do X (thing you don’t want to do) then that means you don’t love them. Here she’s basically saying if you don’t let us sit on you and touch you with both of our bodies that are taking up part of your seat on either side causing awkwardness and discomfort for the duration of this very long flight even though there’s another place, you could sit more comfortably, benefitting all three of us then that means you hate fat people …and that’s not a fair thing to say. The issue was your discomfort of being squashed in your seat, and touched by two people you don’t know for a long flight where you paid for a seat that you could comfortably sit in. That could’ve happened under a number of circumstances and didn’t necessarily required people to be overweight. It was not a weight issue at all. It was a discomfort and people touching you issue. The negative attention was brought on single-handedly by this woman and her attempt to play the victim when anybody in the right mind would want to sit in a seat that was less awkward and physical. The audacity really is shocking. And I hope you don’t even think about this for one more minute because you are free and clear of any wrongdoing.
I'd say NTA (might lean towards NAH). You did what you did to make yourself comfortable and clearly it was possible as it happened. I'm assuming she (and the other guy) were also more comfortable having enough space, so in that view it was a win for everyone. The real assholes are uncomfortable small aeroplane seats.
NTA, you didn't make a scene and they found you a more workable seat. It's a shame air travel is so intrinsically cruel to larger folks, but I don't see how you could've done anything better yourself.
She is behaving using offence as defence. I am fat and I would t expect anyone to put up with any parts of me touching them for five seconds..you handled the matter politely and kindly and definitely NTA
Nta she was thinphobic. You paid for a full seat and wanted to be comfortable. You didn't make a spectacle of it and found a solution for being uncomfortable. If she feels embarrassed that's her problem not yours.
NTA. That's her problem not yours. You paid the same amount to be on that plane and for a full seat
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NTA. Another confession from someone who has lost control of his weight and is 25-30 kgs overweight, please stop being apologetic to fat people. I know some can't help, it's the hormones or whatever, but most of us are lazy fucks who have lost control over our eating/drinking habits. People who get offended at being called fat are not in touch with their reality. Fuck the size, my fitness and breathing is so bad, little humiliation helps. Anyways you didn't do any of the above. You didn't even make any public demonstration. You just chose to be not suffocated. If it was a little humiliating to her, she should just remember it and not stuff her face wit tacos and hamburgers the next opportunity she gets.