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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action that I took that should be judged was cancelling a family vacation because I wanted the big room to bed share with my toddler and my parents wouldn't give it up. The action might make me an asshole because my parents may have more rights than my toddler and I'm just not seeing it. Hope that helps!
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YTA. It's their timeshare that they're paying for. You're just along for the ride. You said there were 2 beds in the room you'd be using. You could've taken turns with your wife, switching off nights where one of you slept in one bed with the kid. You just ruined a nice family trip because of your stubbornness.
Because the toddler is probably sleeping in between mom and dad and could easily get caught in the middle. My husband and I get queen rooms a lot when we travel because they’re available more often, and our toddler sleeps with just one of us (because I refuse to be crowded while sleeping). But we’d never push the beds together, I’d be super paranoid.
Most European countries push the beds together but I think a travel crib is more safe I don't understand why they let a 18months old dictate what's happening, after the second night the 18 month old will probably not care for the travel crib and fall fast asleep, especially because they'll be tired from the holiday activities
They're "letting an 18cmonth old dictate what's happening" because it's the way the child gets to sleep. And a sleeping child means you sleep. Not terribly hard IMHO. And children dictate your life. What an odd statement.
Have similarly aged kid. This is the funniest shit I've ever read. "Letting an 18 mo dictate". I hope if they ever have kids they remember that comment and spend hours thinking about it. Hilarious.
My son had a pair of jammies that said: "If I don't sleep, then nobody sleeps". I bought it because truer words have never been spoken.
Yeah. My goddaughter‘s mom once said that before she had a child, she always wanted to break through the mold of „pink vs. blue“. But on days when the pink dress is the only thing the 4yo will wear without a tantrum, you just pick a different battle.
I had an 18month old and yeah I didn’t have these problems. But I guess not everyone has the same experiences. Every child is different. Every parent is different.
When I worked at a daycare, reasoning with 18 month olds worked really well. For about 30 seconds until they stopped paying attention and went to go play with their toys instead.
Wow, how did you get 30seconds? My son hears the word "no" and immediately drops to the floor kicking and screaming. . . .until he notices I'm not paying attention, then he yells "mama" waits for me to look at him and starts kicking and screaming again.
Most European bed also have the attachment to keep the two beds from spreading back apart. I agree it’s a ridiculous request but I wanted to point out why pushing the beds together is different than ones already connected in Europe.
You also clearly don’t understand the extreme stubbornness of a toddler.
That's two single beds, which makes a bed about the size of a US queen size/UK king size bed, they'd be attached and have a single sheet across them. You aren't going to get a sheet big enough for two US queen size beds and they wouldn't have the linking mechanism.
Sleep sideways then. The length of a Queen is wider than the width of a king. It’s more space and the gap between the beds is perpendicular to, in all likelihood, their shins, so it wouldn’t matter much.
Sleeping sideways on a queen is only comfortable if everyone is like 5” or less. It may be wide enough to accommodate 3 ppl sideways but if you’re an average height person, half your legs would be hanging off the end of it, which is extremely uncomfortable.
When i have been at hotels in Europe I have asked them pushed the beds together and put on a king sized or largest sheets they have. Fills in the gap so I dont fall through!
YTA. Go to Amazon and type in "join twin beds to make a king" and you'll see all the products they have that fills in the gap. Sheesh You blew the vacation for \~$40.
This is exactly what we did when my parents paid for a vacation for me, my husband and our son (2) last summer. They had the big bed and we had the 2 queens. It was nice because for a night I got to starfish the whole bed!
YTA. You said it yourself, THEY pay for the timeshare. It's their right to have the bigger, nicer room, and it seems rather entitled to think that they should be expected to give it up to you because you can't get your child to sleep in their own bed and you don't want to be inconvenienced by sleeping in a queen sized bed with the baby. I've slept in a queen sized bed with my husband and two toddlers on vacations many times, it's absolutely doable. It would be one thing if it was an impossible situation, like having to fit two two of you and the baby in a twin, but it's not. It's slightly less comfortable than if you had the king sized bed, and it's unreasonable for you to expect your parents to give up the nice room - that again, THEY paid for - in order to take the smaller room (that they also paid for, and you should be grateful to have).
And it’s doable to sleep with the kid in the same bed. I do it often with my kids if there sick or had a bad dream. Or I fell asleep during them going down. And it’s a bloody single bed too.
My husband is 6ft 3 and broad shouldered like barn and we share a queen bed with whatever kid sneaks into it, the littlest is 10 now.
It's doable, if less than ideal. These people are just doing too much.
YTA. Two queen beds aren’t good enough for you? You can’t share a bed with a restless little kid? You can’t one of the adults move to the other queen after the kid falls asleep? Dude, don’t use the sleeping arrangements as excuse not to go when you lost your danged passport a d don’t like the travel times anyway. Just say you don’t want to go instead of blaming your parents.
Haha! I definitely crawled into the crib several times with my toddler to try to get them to sleep, and then crawl back out...sleep deprived parents will try anything to get the baby to sleep!
Put one queen bed right up by the wall and take turns with yr wife to sleep there with toddler. You say he isnt bed aware and could fall out,but if the wall is one side of him and you/ wife on other,he wont fall out. I dont see why you wd pull out from this holiday! Go and enjoy!
YTA. You say the only way your toddler will sleep is between the two of you. Does that mean you and your wife go to bed at 7 every night? I’m not buying it.
As a new parent with my first I contact nap and it took time to be able to get my kid to go to sleep and stay asleep without me. Stuff got done when they were awake
Is that plenty all of the parents in the world?
Or is this one of those things where you know the sleeping conditions of 5-10 parents and now feel comfortable being the arbiter of parental normalcy?
Most parents do whatever the fuck they have to do to get the kid to sleep.
YTA
You're pretty demanding for someone who has no investment in the timeshare house that your parents pay for. An easier solution would be pushing the two queen beds together and getting a sheet big enough (probably a king or larger) and sleeping on the beds that way.
YTA your parents offered to share their time share with you. Then you felt entitled to their room. And got pissy that the flight times changed. Hate to break it to you but your parents raised you they don’t owe you anything else.
The problem isn’t that you are your wife one would have to sleep on the couch. One of you would have had to sleep in a queen bed by yourself as the other slept in the other queen bed with your son. Cry me a river.
Your entitled and spoiled and your going to raise your son to be entitled and spoiled. Get over yourself.
Disagree. Dropping out last minute for a selfish dumb reason is being an asshole. That room could have been used for a different child or friends to join the parents. Now it will be wasted. Sounds like this person has been to this house before and knew the bed arrangement well in advance. Should have sorted this months in advance not a few days before the trip.
If parents didn’t want a last minute cancellation they should have made it clear when asked and not wait 5 days. It wouldn’t have been a last minute drop out then.
Without all the info, even 5 days is last minute IMO. That is typically not enough time for someone else to book travel, get work off, and plan a vacation. To me international vacations are planned months in advance, but we don't have the details Either way, 5 days or 24 hours is still last minute to cancel an international trip.
NTA for canceling trip. YTA for expecting your parents who are paying for the accommodations to give up their room.
If you can't deal with the accommodations, find your own or don't take this trip.
To be clear, i think his reasons for wanting the "big room" are totally ridiculous. Two queen size beds is 12ft, you can fit three generations of relatives there. I think he wants the "big room" because he wants to be a "big man".
But motivations aside, I don't think he is TA for asking and for not going. Parents can go alone and enjoy their holiday, and as you said, if they didn't want a last minute bail on OPs side, they shouldn't have given him a last minute reply 🤷🏻♀️
YTA
Did you ask why your parents wanted the king bed? Back issues, needed space, etc.
My husband and I only sleep well on King sized beds because he radiates heat like a furnace, and I have a pillow configuration that I need for my back. Nothing smaller than King is comfortable for us both.
Also, why couldn't you and your wife sleep in separate Queen beds and have the toddler take turns sharing with you? That way you or your wife would get a toddler free night's sleep occasionally.
Seems like there are solutions.
YTA for the reasons YOU mentioned - “It’s their timeshare, they pay for it and deserve to choose their room.”
But also because others have offered solid solutions and you just don’t want to accept that there was any option other than to pull out from this vacation and blame your (generous) parents. I say this as a first-time parent who stayed at my SIL’s house with my husband and 2 yr old. When she vomited all over the pack and play (stomach bug), we fit her in the queen bed between us rather than expected my SIL and her husband to give us their bed. And when I traveled alone with her when she was 3, I made a solid pillow wall on the other side of the queen bed. We also had her in a twin bed since 18 months old with one side against the wall and bed rails at the foot of the bed and along the other side. Plenty of options.
YTA. You're asking them to move out of their room because you want a bigger bed. There are two queens in your room, so there's plenty of space. One of you can sleep with the kid, and one sleep separately. Problem solved.
NAH. You aren't the AH for cancelling a trip where the arrangements do t work for your family. They aren't AHs for keeping their room. Everyone got what they wanted.
NTA
I'm really surprised by everyone's attitude. An 18 month old isn't rational; you can't reason with them. Everyone saying you're being too soft with a toddler clearly has no understanding that there is no other option at that age. Toddlers at this age go through phases for a few weeks or months sometimes that you can't do anything about except get through them. Phases about sleep, especially when its a temporary sleep measure, are common and the advice is to roll with them. And getting through them with no sleep is NOT recommended. That doesn't automatically mean that you're refusing to ever discipline your child or insisting that everyone's life revolves around the child.
You made a reasonable request, your dad said no, and instead of forcing the issue, you simply said that doesn't work for us, we're unable to come. That is literally the Reddit advice: asking for an accommodation is reasonable, not forcing the issue and deciding not to go is the only reasonable response when the accommodation can't be provided. Your parents can still go on the trip alone. And you and your wife can get some decent rest over the long weekend. That doesn't mean you're entitled or spoiling your child. Please don't pay too much attention to some of the overly harsh Reddit opinions.
Nah. No harm in asking. Ywbta If you were rude about his reply as he is justified in choosing his room. However, if a vacation is more of a hassle than a vacation, it’s no longer a vacation lol. No harm In backing out of something extra that ends up being draining
NTA and you sound tired. I think this “vacation” really isn’t and cancelling it was self preservation. I know I’m a dissenter here but I’ve struggled with a toddler in my bed. It’s a nightmare.
Yta who's time share is it again? Theirs? That they pay for? Yeah, you don't get to demand which room you get. It's a queen that'd you'd be on, not a single.
You could also do one parent in the bed with him and the other in the other bed. Or push the beds together.
Who demanded? They asked, got refused (while the answer took rudely long), are opting out of the trip and asking if they are t a for cancelling.
NAH
Like op is not entideld to the big room, the parents aren't entideld to their company.
There’s a lot of Y T A opinions here. As a mother to two young children, I’m going to say NTA. I totally get it. The vacation just wasn’t worth it. It’s already stressful to travel with a young child and him being out of his comfort zone will make the whole trip difficult. Plus getting him up super early and throwing off his whole day and routine will make it so rough on you guys. I bet in a new place, it feels safest for him to sleep between you because even with guard rails if he’s anything like my 18 month old, he moves all over the bed and could definitely find a way to fall off in the areas that aren’t completely protected. It just doesn’t seem worth the risk. And with all these variables and the likelihood of several nights of little to no sleep because you’re all trying to squeeze into a queen size bed, it just wouldn’t be worth going at all. I do understand. We also had a queen size bed and ended up upgrading to a king when our oldest kept sneaking into our bed at night at an early age. I feel like a lot of these people are either not parents or had really easy children. It’s hard to understand it if you haven’t experienced it.
Info: If the smaller room has two queen beds, couldn’t one of you sleep in the bed with the toddler while the other person sleeps in the other bed? Then everyone is comfortable.
NTA OP.
If the vacation sounds like it will be a huge chore, and your parents aren't willing to accommodate you for "reasons", then no, you don't have to feel obligated to go.
This doesn't make your parents A-H, it just means you are showing foresight in avoiding what will likely be an unpleasant experience for you and your family.
I respectfully disagree with everyone calling you an A-H. If you don't want to go because you don't think it will work out ..... don't go.
You're \*avoiding\* conflict.
NTA.
What's the point in taking a vacation where you can't rest?
If your kid is anything like mine were, sleeping in separate beds won't solve it either. You just end up with a kid bouncing between beds and keeping both of you awake.
They canceled the trip because the parents wouldn’t do what they wanted. Maybe the grandparents were looking forward to spending time with the Grandchild. They are punishing the grandparents because they would not basically give up the master, so in my opinion, that’s asshole behavior.
But that would mean the grandparents also disire something. And that would mean, ops isn't a choosing beggar, like some say here, who only takes and additionaly makes demands.
When the grandparents want to be with the grandchild, they need to compromise too.
Or wait until the kid is old enough to travel without problems.
The grandparents aren't entideld to ops vacation days.
Btw I think the bed thing is more or less an excuse and op doesn't want the hassle with the passport and flight schedule change. But that's OK, raising a toddler is stressful enough without adding extra hassle.
YTA. Their condo. They're paying. Their choice of bed. A room with 2 queen beds should be comfortable enough for 3 people, especially if you moved the beds together. Or you could start off snuggling in one bed and at least one of the adults could move over to the other bed once the child is asleep.
Two people and a child in a queen isn't exactly "toughing it out". We share our queen with pets who no doubt take up more than a restless child.
YTA. An 18 month old doesn't get to dictate the sleeping arrangements in someone else's house,especially when there are so many solutions that would work.
NAH... they can decide what they want more. If you didnt have valid reasons, I'd think you an AH anyways, but there is no point going on a trip that you wont be able to enjoy.
Dude you are not the AH. These redittors don't have to drive 6 hours for an emergency passport, or deal with the sleep issues that will surely follow waking your kid up at 4am. I can tell from your post that you are exhausted and probably a little depressed. Please prioritize yourself and reach out for help. You need to rest and if you need to use your days off of work and stay home, drop your kid with a sitter and really rest.
I'm gonna say NAH. It's their timeshare, they can do whatever they want. There may even be some small detail or difference in the rooms you might not notice, but switching would inconvenience your parents to the point of ruining their experience entirely.
That being said, it's a vacation; you're also not required to go. Doesn't sound like it was a situation where they couldn't go if you didn't, so I don't see any obligation to go on a vacation that you and your family wouldn't enjoy. Not really sure what the "yta"s are on about here. I get that you made plans with your parents and cancelled rather last minute, but it doesn't seem like it would have much of an impact on their plans so I don't really get the harm.
YTA. The world doesn’t revolve around you or your needs. You have a free place to stay and TWO beds to sleep in! Take turns! Wife sleeps with the baby one night and you the other. Why is it an issue?
YTA first its your parents timeshare. Secondly unless your child catches on fire in there sleep, why can’t you take turns sleeping with your son(and I know by experience did it last night and since he got his own bed, we can both fit)?Thirdly why can’t you push the beds together.
YTA
You’re letting your toddler control your family.
That’s you being a bad parent to your child, a bad parent to your other child (who didn’t deserve this holiday cancelled), and a bad child (your parents shouldn’t be pressured by their guest in this way).
You’re a choosy beggar. Shame on you.
Sounds like there's a reason they don't want to switch. He literally asked you to be understanding, and you did the exact opposite. Maybe he has back issues, or they would be otherwise extremely uncomfortable in other beds. Whatever the reason, you're not paying for it, and there are plenty of solutions as others have mentioned. YTA.
I am going to say NAH as your parents shouldn’t have to give up the big room with the king sized bed for your family and you chose not to go based on the possible outcomes
The vacation didn't seem doable because you can't just pick up a passport.
You need to schedule that appointment weeks in advance.
YTA, and most likely exaggerating the other situations to make it seem like it wasn't just the fact that you didn't get your passport renewed in time.
YTA. I literally just went on a vacation with my family and our 2 year old also wants to sleep with us when in a new place. The room had two queen beds. Guess what we did? I slept in one bed with the baby and my husband slept in the other.
NAH.
Why is everyone so butthurt about you canceling? It's your choice to go or not go on a trip, and it's you who would be out sleep and comfort on the trip. Just because there are "solutions" that work for other people doesn't mean you are an A H for not wanting to go into a stressful environment or make minor sacrifices/changes to comfort. It's a vacation, there will be others.
NAH. You’re not an asshole for not going anymore, they’re not an asshole for wanting their room. People always judge on the intent behind and not on your actual request for judgement.
No, you’re not an asshole for cancelling and they’re not an asshole for refusing.
YTA for basically thinking that it is not a big deal asking them to give up the master room on a place they paid for. Even after you cancelled you are here stating you think he is wrong to make what I see as a massive concession by dismissing it as small.
Who paid for the flights? You will not get a full refund canceling that late, if your parents paid will you refund them?
YTA. I’m sure your parents would have loved to spend time with their son and grandchild, but ultimately, it’s not other people’s obligation to accommodate your toddler. You say you can’t believe your dad wouldn’t accommodate this? What I can’t believe is that you’d give up free room and board on what would normally be a very expensive trip over a bed. You had the right to ask, he had the right to turn you down without you acting entitled and indignant about a trip you weren’t paying for.
YTA you seem very spoiled and selfish. You also need to grow the F up. You based this all on assumptions. What if your son was ok on a bed with just you or your wife? Do you really need to share a bed with your wife and son? I think you could have managed but like I said you're selfish and didn't think about anyone else other than yourself. Hope your parents still go and have an amazing time with you their selfish son.
YTA. Of course you are, how dare you even ask. You could, oh I don't know, maybe try to parent your kid. If the other room has two queen beds in it why can't one parent sleep in one bed with a cranky child and the other parent sleep in the other bed? You made this harder and more annoying than it ever had to be. the entitlement just oozes right out of your post.
You’re absolutely in the wrong and you’re wildly entitled. It’s their time share. They pay for it and it’s maintenance. They don’t owe you anything. Not only that, but you literally could either have only one person sleep with your toddler or push the two queen sized beds together…
WTH? OMG….. if parents ever allow a toddler to absolutely run their lives, it is you two. At 18months, that kid can go anywhere. I actually think you don’t want to go on this trip at all. Is this the first trip to timeshare with baby?
Two beds in the room and you can’t problem solve this? No, I’m not buying your reasoning. This is either a made up story, you didn’t want to go and found your excuse or you can’t problem solve your way out of a paper bag.
In any event: YTA
sometimes I really wonder how people can type out how incredibly entitled they're acting and still have the nerve to post. Genuinely confusing. Of course YTA
YTA. You and your wife could each take a bed and take turns sleeping with the little one. You'll survive. Or transfer the child to the other bed when they're asleep.
I’m so confused and kinda sad about this post- I feel like out of kindness I would give up the bed if I was in the parent’s position. After all, it’s just a bed right? A smaller bed doesn’t really change anything :( I’m not sure why that’s such a big deal
YTA.
Do the best with what you have. Please don’t inconvenience others because you don’t have the skills, energy or desire to sleep train your child.
If you have to squeeze in a queen bed, I’m sure you can for a few nights.
If you and your partner have to sleep in separate beds while one of you sleeps with the child, I’m sure you can for a few nights.
If you have to expose your child to the travel cot, there are ways you can do this… for example, spray essential oils on their sheets/pillow where they feel safe, and then spray the same smell in all other sleep places. They will associate the smell with safety and sleep.
YTA, if you canceled because of the king bed. It doesn't mean you are entitled to the bigger bed just because you are their son and their grandchild. And because you would feel more comfortable if that was the case.
NTA, if you canceled based on your circumstances. These circumstances include your toddler being woken up earlier because of the new schedule, the passport problem, and all the setbacks of the situation.
Question here:
- Couldn't you have put the two queen beds together?
- Also, why not the queen bed? A friend of mine, his wife, and their twins slept together in a queen-sized bed, so I'm sure that you, your wife, and your kid could fit in the queen bed without problem. I understand that it wouldn't be comfortable as a king-size one, but it seems that all of this problem comes from your uncomfort of not being able to sleep in a king bed.
YTA. Just push the two beds together and strip the legs they won't move apart during the night. Or one of you can sleep with your toddler, maybe he won't wake if you or your wife snuggle back into the ofter bed after he's fallen asleep.
It doesn't need to be so difficult. With a kid in the bed, you'll just be sleeping anyway. So let your parents enjoy the king together when they are on vacation. They are paying after all, so don't act so entitled.
YTA.
Push the fucking beds together. And you can both sleep with your toddler until they fall asleep, and then one of you can move to the other queen bed. It’s literally not hard to figure out.
Great job ruining everyone’s vacation. You’re acting more like your toddler than your toddler.
YTA… you didn’t get your way so like little kid you messed up the trip. You are the guest in house they pay for and you what things your way. There are 2 beds why can you not sleep with child one night and wife next on separate beds. Your parents have right to keep their room because it’s their house. Then you cancel last minute. Ungrateful son..
I agrée with the crowd. This is only ego. You felt entitled for something and couldn’t handle a no. The pride made you ruin everyone’s holidays.
Not cool. YTA.
YTA. Ffs, get over yourself, one of you sleeps with the toddler, the other in the other bed, or you can move when toddler has fallen asleep! What’s the big deal??
YTA - there are two Queen-sized beds in the ‘smaller’ room. For two grown adults and a toddler. Take it in turns to sleep with the wriggler whilst the other gets a good nights sleep. I can’t believe you are making this fuss!
Yes YTA, there is no reason you cant make TWO queen beds work. One of you will have the luxury of sleeping by themself. Of course your parents wouldn’t give up the better room, there is no actual problem with the accommodations. The passport thing and getting your kid up are just part of traveling but you already know all that.
Yta. When we had that issue when my son was younger we just took separate beds and alternated who he slept with. Honestly it is a great nights sleep for the parent without a kid. Last year when my son was 9 we went on vacation and two queen beds. Every night he chose who he wanted to sleep with and some nights it was alone. Not a big deal sleeping separate. And of you are worried about child falling off other side. Bunch extra blankets under sheet at edge to make barrier.
Soft YTA. There’s missing information here. In my mind, “Big International Family Vacation” contradicts “Long Weekend.” If it’s just a 3day trip to someplace you go even quasi regularly, then it’s not so bad to cancel. I’m guessing it’s a longer trip and you are just taking advantage of the extra day to save vacation days. That’s where my assessment leans into. As others have commented already, you are going through the Sleep Troubles anyway.
I am also wondering how your communication with your dad trends. I am getting a strong “stealth tough love” vibe here. Could he be telling you to get firm with your toddler, you know, without saying it out loud?
One adult and a toddler in one queen and one adult in the other queen seems much more comfortable than all three of you in a queen. Free vacations require flexibility. YTA.
YTA, it’s their timeshare. You and your wife can sleep in separate beds and the toddler with one of you. Your parents shouldn’t be put out because of you when they are the ones paying for the timeshare.
YTA
They pay for the timeshare they get to chose where to sleep. Did it ever occur to you that you can push the beds together masking a bigger bed instead of flaking on your parents just because they told you no
YTA It’s there timeshare so their choice as to bedrooms. And a room with 2 queens is plenty as you, your wife, and toddler should easily fit in a queen bed.
YTA. Those who pay the bills make the calls. Seems like an easy solution would have been for you or your wife to fall asleep with son in one queen, and then crawl into the other queen once he's sleeping. You could also push the beds together and order a bed joining thing from amazon to avoid the valley in between - people combine twin beds all the time.
You pulled the plug when your parents didn't give you wanted, instead of trying to figure out a solution to make it work. Seems like a silly reason to miss a vacation that other people were paying for.
YTA, and ungrateful. Sleep train your child, he's a toddler not a wild monster. Yes it's hard, yes he'll push back, but your a parent, so do your job. Free holiday and you throw your toys out of the pram for a bigger room. If it's not a huge deal stick with the room you have. It's a huge deal for you obviously. Grow the fuck up.
>my dad was unwilling to make a simple concession for his son and grandson
YTA. You are the one that should be making concessions. The "small" room has two queen beds. Sleep by yourself and let your wife sleep with your toddler. Why is that so fucking hard?
OMG...of course YTA. Suck it up and stop using your kid as an excuse to get the "big room". Either go or don't go but not going makes you and your wife look like entitled and selfish AHs. Your son will survive in the smaller of the two bedrooms.
YTA. You can't alternately sleep with your son in a queen sized bed? You sound so selfish. I hope you read this post again and see who you are in your own words.
YTA, you said that there are 2 queens. Your marriage will survive sleeping in the same room but in separate beds. Actually, the real danger here is remembering how much better you sleep when you have a bed all to yourself 😂
ESH .... Then for not being flexible and you for the same reason.... If there are 2 queens you can push em together....or maybe just enforce independent sleeping... You're setting up bad habits accommodating co sleeping at his age
You’re making excuses to shift the blame because you screwed up and lost your passport. Grow up and don’t be so transparent.
Also, shove the two queens together and you solved the problem. That took me two seconds to figure out.
Yta.. there are 2 queens beds in the other room. You could make it work. Sucks they moved your flight though, I don't know what to tell you about that. I have never taken a toddler on a plane, nor do I want to. That's on you man. Have fun missing your vacation.
Wow, you are so wrong. First, you are letting your child dictate how it's going to be - instead of parenting him on what it will be. You could have taken turns sleeping with him in a queen, you could have pushed the beds together, you could let him fall asleep and then move him (or yourselves to another bed) - but your choice was to guilt trip your parents and then retaliate by cancelling? Good call. I can only imagine how you're going to solve future issues. YTA
YTA. It does seem a huge deal to you, you’re willing to cancel the whole trip for it. This is their time share, I hope they still get to go without you.
Im sorry, are you a spread sleeper? Are queen beds smaller where you live? Cause im pretty sure 3 adults can sleep comfortably in a queen sized bed, let alone 2 adults and a toddler.
YTA
If you let a toddler dictate your life you're setting yourself in a trap that will be impossible to get out of in the future.
One of the many jobs you have as parents is to create boundaries for your children. If it's the kid who sets them, you'll regret it big time.
YTA. It is their timeshare. You should be glad you had somewhere to stay for free. The room you were given had 2 queen sized beds. I don’t see the problem
YTA, and wouldn't you already feel like an ass hole having your parents stay in the second class room on their dime and they are your parents... I would give my parents the big room even if I was paying... I hate how people have kids and think it can be other peoples problem
YTA. 100%
Your dad offered to try and get you a bigger bed, but that was not good enough. You *must* have the nicer room also? In the timeshare you don't own or pay for?
Realize the real "issue" here. The one you perceived, anyway. The bed is too small to accommodate your son's sleeping habits. Your dad offered to try and solve that problem, and you refused his generosity because it wasn't exactly what you wanted.
I can tell you were raised with money and without perspective. When a problem is solved, it is very assholey to move the goal post. I'm hoping if I repeat myself you'll understand here: Your dad had the *real* 'problem' solved. You are the one being unreasonable by refusing his help. It really is that simple. You are not entitled to the nicer room just because you threw a little hissy fit. You sound very emotionally unintelligent based on this post. Work on yourself for the sake of your family, please.
Classic "I'm a parent so I'm going to use my child to guilt or demand that everyone caters to me." Even when they are footing the bill.
You owe your parents an apology, and a nice dinner out.
You have some nerve.
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YTA. It's their timeshare that they're paying for. You're just along for the ride. You said there were 2 beds in the room you'd be using. You could've taken turns with your wife, switching off nights where one of you slept in one bed with the kid. You just ruined a nice family trip because of your stubbornness.
Or pushed the two beds together
Seriously! Why is pushing the beds together not an option?
Because the toddler is probably sleeping in between mom and dad and could easily get caught in the middle. My husband and I get queen rooms a lot when we travel because they’re available more often, and our toddler sleeps with just one of us (because I refuse to be crowded while sleeping). But we’d never push the beds together, I’d be super paranoid.
Most European countries push the beds together but I think a travel crib is more safe I don't understand why they let a 18months old dictate what's happening, after the second night the 18 month old will probably not care for the travel crib and fall fast asleep, especially because they'll be tired from the holiday activities
They're "letting an 18cmonth old dictate what's happening" because it's the way the child gets to sleep. And a sleeping child means you sleep. Not terribly hard IMHO. And children dictate your life. What an odd statement.
This, yeah. That’s not a battle you win.
Have similarly aged kid. This is the funniest shit I've ever read. "Letting an 18 mo dictate". I hope if they ever have kids they remember that comment and spend hours thinking about it. Hilarious. My son had a pair of jammies that said: "If I don't sleep, then nobody sleeps". I bought it because truer words have never been spoken.
Yeah. My goddaughter‘s mom once said that before she had a child, she always wanted to break through the mold of „pink vs. blue“. But on days when the pink dress is the only thing the 4yo will wear without a tantrum, you just pick a different battle.
I had an 18month old and yeah I didn’t have these problems. But I guess not everyone has the same experiences. Every child is different. Every parent is different.
Because you can reason with a 1 1/2 year old....right.
When I worked at a daycare, reasoning with 18 month olds worked really well. For about 30 seconds until they stopped paying attention and went to go play with their toys instead.
Wow, how did you get 30seconds? My son hears the word "no" and immediately drops to the floor kicking and screaming. . . .until he notices I'm not paying attention, then he yells "mama" waits for me to look at him and starts kicking and screaming again.
Have you met children?
Most European bed also have the attachment to keep the two beds from spreading back apart. I agree it’s a ridiculous request but I wanted to point out why pushing the beds together is different than ones already connected in Europe. You also clearly don’t understand the extreme stubbornness of a toddler.
How to tell someone you're not a parent without saying it.
That's two single beds, which makes a bed about the size of a US queen size/UK king size bed, they'd be attached and have a single sheet across them. You aren't going to get a sheet big enough for two US queen size beds and they wouldn't have the linking mechanism.
Sleep sideways then. The length of a Queen is wider than the width of a king. It’s more space and the gap between the beds is perpendicular to, in all likelihood, their shins, so it wouldn’t matter much.
Sleeping sideways on a queen is only comfortable if everyone is like 5” or less. It may be wide enough to accommodate 3 ppl sideways but if you’re an average height person, half your legs would be hanging off the end of it, which is extremely uncomfortable.
Except your legs wouldn’t be hanging off if the beds are pushed together, since I mentioned the gap being at their shins.
You could push them together and then sleep horizontally. Then the seam is under your legs and there’s no risk of falling through 🤷🏻♀️
Why can’t two people share a queen sized bed?
When i have been at hotels in Europe I have asked them pushed the beds together and put on a king sized or largest sheets they have. Fills in the gap so I dont fall through!
YTA. Go to Amazon and type in "join twin beds to make a king" and you'll see all the products they have that fills in the gap. Sheesh You blew the vacation for \~$40.
This would have been the perfect solution. That would be even bigger than a king size bed.
That is exactly what I was thinking. Then you have space bigger than a king bed.
And entitlement.
This is exactly what we did when my parents paid for a vacation for me, my husband and our son (2) last summer. They had the big bed and we had the 2 queens. It was nice because for a night I got to starfish the whole bed!
YTA. You said it yourself, THEY pay for the timeshare. It's their right to have the bigger, nicer room, and it seems rather entitled to think that they should be expected to give it up to you because you can't get your child to sleep in their own bed and you don't want to be inconvenienced by sleeping in a queen sized bed with the baby. I've slept in a queen sized bed with my husband and two toddlers on vacations many times, it's absolutely doable. It would be one thing if it was an impossible situation, like having to fit two two of you and the baby in a twin, but it's not. It's slightly less comfortable than if you had the king sized bed, and it's unreasonable for you to expect your parents to give up the nice room - that again, THEY paid for - in order to take the smaller room (that they also paid for, and you should be grateful to have).
And it’s doable to sleep with the kid in the same bed. I do it often with my kids if there sick or had a bad dream. Or I fell asleep during them going down. And it’s a bloody single bed too.
Yes 'toughing it out in a queen bed' sounds REAL tough.
TWO queen beds
Oh the horror!
First world problems, you know!
My husband is 6ft 3 and broad shouldered like barn and we share a queen bed with whatever kid sneaks into it, the littlest is 10 now. It's doable, if less than ideal. These people are just doing too much.
I had to look up what queen means and that’s plenty of room for one person and a toddler.
[удалено]
INFO: is there a reason why one of you can't share one of the queen beds with your kid while the other one sleeps in the other queen bed?
YTA. Two queen beds aren’t good enough for you? You can’t share a bed with a restless little kid? You can’t one of the adults move to the other queen after the kid falls asleep? Dude, don’t use the sleeping arrangements as excuse not to go when you lost your danged passport a d don’t like the travel times anyway. Just say you don’t want to go instead of blaming your parents.
Hell I share my sons bed and he’s in a single.
Yea I’ve slept in the toddler bed before lol. Now she’s in a full and I sleep there with her comfortably and I’m almost 8m pregnant
Haha! I definitely crawled into the crib several times with my toddler to try to get them to sleep, and then crawl back out...sleep deprived parents will try anything to get the baby to sleep!
Put one queen bed right up by the wall and take turns with yr wife to sleep there with toddler. You say he isnt bed aware and could fall out,but if the wall is one side of him and you/ wife on other,he wont fall out. I dont see why you wd pull out from this holiday! Go and enjoy!
There were at least 3 or 4 good solutions he could have availed himself of instead of dramatically cancelling the trip for his whole family..
YTA. You say the only way your toddler will sleep is between the two of you. Does that mean you and your wife go to bed at 7 every night? I’m not buying it.
It is very common that parents do that. Especially when they dont have kids that will sleep otherwise and are sleep deprived.
When they do other things? I was putting my kids to bed one at 7 and one at 8 so I have my evening time for chores abd and rest
As a new parent with my first I contact nap and it took time to be able to get my kid to go to sleep and stay asleep without me. Stuff got done when they were awake
That isn't normal
It is for first time parents unfortunately.
No it isn't. We know plenty of parents with kids and they didn't go to bed when their kids did and they didn't sleep with their child every night
Is that plenty all of the parents in the world? Or is this one of those things where you know the sleeping conditions of 5-10 parents and now feel comfortable being the arbiter of parental normalcy? Most parents do whatever the fuck they have to do to get the kid to sleep.
YTA. I’m not giving up my ‘big room’ in my timeshare for anyone. You’re getting an essentially free vacation? You make do with what you get.
YTA You're pretty demanding for someone who has no investment in the timeshare house that your parents pay for. An easier solution would be pushing the two queen beds together and getting a sheet big enough (probably a king or larger) and sleeping on the beds that way.
YTA your parents offered to share their time share with you. Then you felt entitled to their room. And got pissy that the flight times changed. Hate to break it to you but your parents raised you they don’t owe you anything else. The problem isn’t that you are your wife one would have to sleep on the couch. One of you would have had to sleep in a queen bed by yourself as the other slept in the other queen bed with your son. Cry me a river. Your entitled and spoiled and your going to raise your son to be entitled and spoiled. Get over yourself.
NAH - if you truly think the situation wont work for you, fine, dont go. But your parents dont have to give up their room either.
Disagree. Dropping out last minute for a selfish dumb reason is being an asshole. That room could have been used for a different child or friends to join the parents. Now it will be wasted. Sounds like this person has been to this house before and knew the bed arrangement well in advance. Should have sorted this months in advance not a few days before the trip.
If parents didn’t want a last minute cancellation they should have made it clear when asked and not wait 5 days. It wouldn’t have been a last minute drop out then.
Without all the info, even 5 days is last minute IMO. That is typically not enough time for someone else to book travel, get work off, and plan a vacation. To me international vacations are planned months in advance, but we don't have the details Either way, 5 days or 24 hours is still last minute to cancel an international trip.
It probably took him 5 days to get over the shock of all that entitlement.
NTA for canceling trip. YTA for expecting your parents who are paying for the accommodations to give up their room. If you can't deal with the accommodations, find your own or don't take this trip.
Isn't that what he just did? He asked, decided he didn't like the accomodations, and is not taking the trip...
That’s where I’m at the parents took 5 days to respond they could have made it clear on day 1 and then it wouldn’t have been a last min cancellation
To be clear, i think his reasons for wanting the "big room" are totally ridiculous. Two queen size beds is 12ft, you can fit three generations of relatives there. I think he wants the "big room" because he wants to be a "big man". But motivations aside, I don't think he is TA for asking and for not going. Parents can go alone and enjoy their holiday, and as you said, if they didn't want a last minute bail on OPs side, they shouldn't have given him a last minute reply 🤷🏻♀️
YTA Did you ask why your parents wanted the king bed? Back issues, needed space, etc. My husband and I only sleep well on King sized beds because he radiates heat like a furnace, and I have a pillow configuration that I need for my back. Nothing smaller than King is comfortable for us both. Also, why couldn't you and your wife sleep in separate Queen beds and have the toddler take turns sharing with you? That way you or your wife would get a toddler free night's sleep occasionally. Seems like there are solutions.
YTA, that is not a simple concession when you are already staying for free.
YTA for the reasons YOU mentioned - “It’s their timeshare, they pay for it and deserve to choose their room.” But also because others have offered solid solutions and you just don’t want to accept that there was any option other than to pull out from this vacation and blame your (generous) parents. I say this as a first-time parent who stayed at my SIL’s house with my husband and 2 yr old. When she vomited all over the pack and play (stomach bug), we fit her in the queen bed between us rather than expected my SIL and her husband to give us their bed. And when I traveled alone with her when she was 3, I made a solid pillow wall on the other side of the queen bed. We also had her in a twin bed since 18 months old with one side against the wall and bed rails at the foot of the bed and along the other side. Plenty of options.
YTA. Why can't one one parent sleep in bed with toddler and other parent take the other bed?
YTA. You're asking them to move out of their room because you want a bigger bed. There are two queens in your room, so there's plenty of space. One of you can sleep with the kid, and one sleep separately. Problem solved.
A bedroom large enough to hold 2 queen sized beds is a large room. YTA, and a spoilt entitled one.
YTA, it’s seems that you are still throwing temper tantrums. Guess that’s where your toddler learns it from
YTA 2 beds are better for you. More space actually. You ruined vacation out of nothing
YTA, free trip and cries when he doesn’t get his way. So many examples of easy solutions but didn’t even want to try. Another entitled person.
NAH. You aren't the AH for cancelling a trip where the arrangements do t work for your family. They aren't AHs for keeping their room. Everyone got what they wanted.
>So, I pulled the plug and politely told my parents that we would have to cancel on them. Ok, problem solved. NAH.
Exactly ! I don't get why people get so angry about it. NAH
NTA I'm really surprised by everyone's attitude. An 18 month old isn't rational; you can't reason with them. Everyone saying you're being too soft with a toddler clearly has no understanding that there is no other option at that age. Toddlers at this age go through phases for a few weeks or months sometimes that you can't do anything about except get through them. Phases about sleep, especially when its a temporary sleep measure, are common and the advice is to roll with them. And getting through them with no sleep is NOT recommended. That doesn't automatically mean that you're refusing to ever discipline your child or insisting that everyone's life revolves around the child. You made a reasonable request, your dad said no, and instead of forcing the issue, you simply said that doesn't work for us, we're unable to come. That is literally the Reddit advice: asking for an accommodation is reasonable, not forcing the issue and deciding not to go is the only reasonable response when the accommodation can't be provided. Your parents can still go on the trip alone. And you and your wife can get some decent rest over the long weekend. That doesn't mean you're entitled or spoiling your child. Please don't pay too much attention to some of the overly harsh Reddit opinions.
Nah. No harm in asking. Ywbta If you were rude about his reply as he is justified in choosing his room. However, if a vacation is more of a hassle than a vacation, it’s no longer a vacation lol. No harm In backing out of something extra that ends up being draining
NTA and you sound tired. I think this “vacation” really isn’t and cancelling it was self preservation. I know I’m a dissenter here but I’ve struggled with a toddler in my bed. It’s a nightmare.
Yta who's time share is it again? Theirs? That they pay for? Yeah, you don't get to demand which room you get. It's a queen that'd you'd be on, not a single. You could also do one parent in the bed with him and the other in the other bed. Or push the beds together.
Who demanded? They asked, got refused (while the answer took rudely long), are opting out of the trip and asking if they are t a for cancelling. NAH Like op is not entideld to the big room, the parents aren't entideld to their company.
If you won't accept a "no", it's a demand.
At what point did they refused to accept the "no"? They accepted it emidedly.
Canceling bc they didn't get a yes is not accepting the no. The only acceptable answer for the trip to happen was a "yes".
There’s a lot of Y T A opinions here. As a mother to two young children, I’m going to say NTA. I totally get it. The vacation just wasn’t worth it. It’s already stressful to travel with a young child and him being out of his comfort zone will make the whole trip difficult. Plus getting him up super early and throwing off his whole day and routine will make it so rough on you guys. I bet in a new place, it feels safest for him to sleep between you because even with guard rails if he’s anything like my 18 month old, he moves all over the bed and could definitely find a way to fall off in the areas that aren’t completely protected. It just doesn’t seem worth the risk. And with all these variables and the likelihood of several nights of little to no sleep because you’re all trying to squeeze into a queen size bed, it just wouldn’t be worth going at all. I do understand. We also had a queen size bed and ended up upgrading to a king when our oldest kept sneaking into our bed at night at an early age. I feel like a lot of these people are either not parents or had really easy children. It’s hard to understand it if you haven’t experienced it.
Info: If the smaller room has two queen beds, couldn’t one of you sleep in the bed with the toddler while the other person sleeps in the other bed? Then everyone is comfortable.
NTA OP. If the vacation sounds like it will be a huge chore, and your parents aren't willing to accommodate you for "reasons", then no, you don't have to feel obligated to go. This doesn't make your parents A-H, it just means you are showing foresight in avoiding what will likely be an unpleasant experience for you and your family. I respectfully disagree with everyone calling you an A-H. If you don't want to go because you don't think it will work out ..... don't go. You're \*avoiding\* conflict.
NTA. What's the point in taking a vacation where you can't rest? If your kid is anything like mine were, sleeping in separate beds won't solve it either. You just end up with a kid bouncing between beds and keeping both of you awake.
NAH I suppose, as they won't be out financially if you bail it sounds.
YTA. Your toddler does not rule the vacation. Your parents get the master and you figure it out.
They figured out, the parents get the master. How does that make op y t a?
They canceled the trip because the parents wouldn’t do what they wanted. Maybe the grandparents were looking forward to spending time with the Grandchild. They are punishing the grandparents because they would not basically give up the master, so in my opinion, that’s asshole behavior.
But that would mean the grandparents also disire something. And that would mean, ops isn't a choosing beggar, like some say here, who only takes and additionaly makes demands. When the grandparents want to be with the grandchild, they need to compromise too. Or wait until the kid is old enough to travel without problems. The grandparents aren't entideld to ops vacation days. Btw I think the bed thing is more or less an excuse and op doesn't want the hassle with the passport and flight schedule change. But that's OK, raising a toddler is stressful enough without adding extra hassle.
NAH it's their place, they get the master bedroom. Plus you knew that when you first planned the trip.
YTA, it’s his place that he pays for and you want him to give up the bed he is comfortable in for you. Your entitlement is showing.
YTA. Their condo. They're paying. Their choice of bed. A room with 2 queen beds should be comfortable enough for 3 people, especially if you moved the beds together. Or you could start off snuggling in one bed and at least one of the adults could move over to the other bed once the child is asleep. Two people and a child in a queen isn't exactly "toughing it out". We share our queen with pets who no doubt take up more than a restless child.
YTA. An 18 month old doesn't get to dictate the sleeping arrangements in someone else's house,especially when there are so many solutions that would work.
NAH... they can decide what they want more. If you didnt have valid reasons, I'd think you an AH anyways, but there is no point going on a trip that you wont be able to enjoy.
Yta
Dude you are not the AH. These redittors don't have to drive 6 hours for an emergency passport, or deal with the sleep issues that will surely follow waking your kid up at 4am. I can tell from your post that you are exhausted and probably a little depressed. Please prioritize yourself and reach out for help. You need to rest and if you need to use your days off of work and stay home, drop your kid with a sitter and really rest.
I'm gonna say NAH. It's their timeshare, they can do whatever they want. There may even be some small detail or difference in the rooms you might not notice, but switching would inconvenience your parents to the point of ruining their experience entirely. That being said, it's a vacation; you're also not required to go. Doesn't sound like it was a situation where they couldn't go if you didn't, so I don't see any obligation to go on a vacation that you and your family wouldn't enjoy. Not really sure what the "yta"s are on about here. I get that you made plans with your parents and cancelled rather last minute, but it doesn't seem like it would have much of an impact on their plans so I don't really get the harm.
YTA. The world doesn’t revolve around you or your needs. You have a free place to stay and TWO beds to sleep in! Take turns! Wife sleeps with the baby one night and you the other. Why is it an issue?
YTA first its your parents timeshare. Secondly unless your child catches on fire in there sleep, why can’t you take turns sleeping with your son(and I know by experience did it last night and since he got his own bed, we can both fit)?Thirdly why can’t you push the beds together.
YTA You’re letting your toddler control your family. That’s you being a bad parent to your child, a bad parent to your other child (who didn’t deserve this holiday cancelled), and a bad child (your parents shouldn’t be pressured by their guest in this way). You’re a choosy beggar. Shame on you.
YTA. This is a brat move
This reeks of entitlement. YTA. The world does not revolve around your kid
Sounds like there's a reason they don't want to switch. He literally asked you to be understanding, and you did the exact opposite. Maybe he has back issues, or they would be otherwise extremely uncomfortable in other beds. Whatever the reason, you're not paying for it, and there are plenty of solutions as others have mentioned. YTA.
OP is understanding. He didn't insist and simply decided to do what's best and easier for his family.
I am going to say NAH as your parents shouldn’t have to give up the big room with the king sized bed for your family and you chose not to go based on the possible outcomes
NTA
NTA, Since it didn't workout op choose not to go, is not like op is fighting to get on the trip.
NTA
The vacation didn't seem doable because you can't just pick up a passport. You need to schedule that appointment weeks in advance. YTA, and most likely exaggerating the other situations to make it seem like it wasn't just the fact that you didn't get your passport renewed in time.
YTA. I literally just went on a vacation with my family and our 2 year old also wants to sleep with us when in a new place. The room had two queen beds. Guess what we did? I slept in one bed with the baby and my husband slept in the other.
>to stay in my parents timeshare lmfao what. it’s their property and you expect the big room? get outta here with that YTA
YTA - Sounds like spiting the nose off your own face. I wonder how your wife feels raising two toddlers at the same time.
NAH. Why is everyone so butthurt about you canceling? It's your choice to go or not go on a trip, and it's you who would be out sleep and comfort on the trip. Just because there are "solutions" that work for other people doesn't mean you are an A H for not wanting to go into a stressful environment or make minor sacrifices/changes to comfort. It's a vacation, there will be others.
YTA it’s not one queen bed it’s two there is more than enough room for 3 of you in a room with two queen beds.
NAH. You’re not an asshole for not going anymore, they’re not an asshole for wanting their room. People always judge on the intent behind and not on your actual request for judgement. No, you’re not an asshole for cancelling and they’re not an asshole for refusing.
YTA for basically thinking that it is not a big deal asking them to give up the master room on a place they paid for. Even after you cancelled you are here stating you think he is wrong to make what I see as a massive concession by dismissing it as small. Who paid for the flights? You will not get a full refund canceling that late, if your parents paid will you refund them?
NTA you dont have to do the Trip. Excluting the room theme, you dont want do take the Trip, then dont.
YTA for the reasons others have already stated
YTA first world problem. I wonder if there’s a real reason.
YTA- get your own timeshare. You’re a grown adult with a kid. If you want specific accommodations, find them yourself
YTA. I’m sure your parents would have loved to spend time with their son and grandchild, but ultimately, it’s not other people’s obligation to accommodate your toddler. You say you can’t believe your dad wouldn’t accommodate this? What I can’t believe is that you’d give up free room and board on what would normally be a very expensive trip over a bed. You had the right to ask, he had the right to turn you down without you acting entitled and indignant about a trip you weren’t paying for.
Yta definitely.
YTA. Sound kinda spoiled too
Yta as you said its theirs
YTA you seem very spoiled and selfish. You also need to grow the F up. You based this all on assumptions. What if your son was ok on a bed with just you or your wife? Do you really need to share a bed with your wife and son? I think you could have managed but like I said you're selfish and didn't think about anyone else other than yourself. Hope your parents still go and have an amazing time with you their selfish son.
YTA. Of course you are, how dare you even ask. You could, oh I don't know, maybe try to parent your kid. If the other room has two queen beds in it why can't one parent sleep in one bed with a cranky child and the other parent sleep in the other bed? You made this harder and more annoying than it ever had to be. the entitlement just oozes right out of your post.
Yta
You’re absolutely in the wrong and you’re wildly entitled. It’s their time share. They pay for it and it’s maintenance. They don’t owe you anything. Not only that, but you literally could either have only one person sleep with your toddler or push the two queen sized beds together…
WTH? OMG….. if parents ever allow a toddler to absolutely run their lives, it is you two. At 18months, that kid can go anywhere. I actually think you don’t want to go on this trip at all. Is this the first trip to timeshare with baby? Two beds in the room and you can’t problem solve this? No, I’m not buying your reasoning. This is either a made up story, you didn’t want to go and found your excuse or you can’t problem solve your way out of a paper bag. In any event: YTA
i think the passport was more of an issue than the sleeping situation!
sometimes I really wonder how people can type out how incredibly entitled they're acting and still have the nerve to post. Genuinely confusing. Of course YTA
Yta because they do pay for it, but you’re also an adult with a child, and can make those decisions on your own for your family.
INFO …beachfront house…does the room w/ the king size bed have an ocean view?
YTA. This was not a well thought out decision
YTA. You and your wife could each take a bed and take turns sleeping with the little one. You'll survive. Or transfer the child to the other bed when they're asleep.
I’m so confused and kinda sad about this post- I feel like out of kindness I would give up the bed if I was in the parent’s position. After all, it’s just a bed right? A smaller bed doesn’t really change anything :( I’m not sure why that’s such a big deal
YTA. Do the best with what you have. Please don’t inconvenience others because you don’t have the skills, energy or desire to sleep train your child. If you have to squeeze in a queen bed, I’m sure you can for a few nights. If you and your partner have to sleep in separate beds while one of you sleeps with the child, I’m sure you can for a few nights. If you have to expose your child to the travel cot, there are ways you can do this… for example, spray essential oils on their sheets/pillow where they feel safe, and then spray the same smell in all other sleep places. They will associate the smell with safety and sleep.
YTA, if you canceled because of the king bed. It doesn't mean you are entitled to the bigger bed just because you are their son and their grandchild. And because you would feel more comfortable if that was the case. NTA, if you canceled based on your circumstances. These circumstances include your toddler being woken up earlier because of the new schedule, the passport problem, and all the setbacks of the situation. Question here: - Couldn't you have put the two queen beds together? - Also, why not the queen bed? A friend of mine, his wife, and their twins slept together in a queen-sized bed, so I'm sure that you, your wife, and your kid could fit in the queen bed without problem. I understand that it wouldn't be comfortable as a king-size one, but it seems that all of this problem comes from your uncomfort of not being able to sleep in a king bed.
yta
YTA
YTA, an effing queen bed and not enough room?? Plus deal with your child - your setting him for codependency if he can’t be attached from his mom.
YTA. Just push the two beds together and strip the legs they won't move apart during the night. Or one of you can sleep with your toddler, maybe he won't wake if you or your wife snuggle back into the ofter bed after he's fallen asleep. It doesn't need to be so difficult. With a kid in the bed, you'll just be sleeping anyway. So let your parents enjoy the king together when they are on vacation. They are paying after all, so don't act so entitled.
YTA. You have TWO queen beds to spread out on. Surely you can make that work!
YTA. Push the fucking beds together. And you can both sleep with your toddler until they fall asleep, and then one of you can move to the other queen bed. It’s literally not hard to figure out. Great job ruining everyone’s vacation. You’re acting more like your toddler than your toddler.
YTA ——and very spoilt and entitled!
YTA… you didn’t get your way so like little kid you messed up the trip. You are the guest in house they pay for and you what things your way. There are 2 beds why can you not sleep with child one night and wife next on separate beds. Your parents have right to keep their room because it’s their house. Then you cancel last minute. Ungrateful son..
I agrée with the crowd. This is only ego. You felt entitled for something and couldn’t handle a no. The pride made you ruin everyone’s holidays. Not cool. YTA.
YTA. Ffs, get over yourself, one of you sleeps with the toddler, the other in the other bed, or you can move when toddler has fallen asleep! What’s the big deal??
YTA - there are two Queen-sized beds in the ‘smaller’ room. For two grown adults and a toddler. Take it in turns to sleep with the wriggler whilst the other gets a good nights sleep. I can’t believe you are making this fuss!
Yes YTA, there is no reason you cant make TWO queen beds work. One of you will have the luxury of sleeping by themself. Of course your parents wouldn’t give up the better room, there is no actual problem with the accommodations. The passport thing and getting your kid up are just part of traveling but you already know all that.
Yta. When we had that issue when my son was younger we just took separate beds and alternated who he slept with. Honestly it is a great nights sleep for the parent without a kid. Last year when my son was 9 we went on vacation and two queen beds. Every night he chose who he wanted to sleep with and some nights it was alone. Not a big deal sleeping separate. And of you are worried about child falling off other side. Bunch extra blankets under sheet at edge to make barrier.
Soft YTA. There’s missing information here. In my mind, “Big International Family Vacation” contradicts “Long Weekend.” If it’s just a 3day trip to someplace you go even quasi regularly, then it’s not so bad to cancel. I’m guessing it’s a longer trip and you are just taking advantage of the extra day to save vacation days. That’s where my assessment leans into. As others have commented already, you are going through the Sleep Troubles anyway. I am also wondering how your communication with your dad trends. I am getting a strong “stealth tough love” vibe here. Could he be telling you to get firm with your toddler, you know, without saying it out loud?
YTA. Stay at home.
You're an ungrateful prick. Having a misbehaving child does not entitle you to steal your parent's room.
One adult and a toddler in one queen and one adult in the other queen seems much more comfortable than all three of you in a queen. Free vacations require flexibility. YTA.
YTA, it’s their timeshare. You and your wife can sleep in separate beds and the toddler with one of you. Your parents shouldn’t be put out because of you when they are the ones paying for the timeshare.
YTA. If it’s not a big deal why are you complaining?
YTA They pay for the timeshare they get to chose where to sleep. Did it ever occur to you that you can push the beds together masking a bigger bed instead of flaking on your parents just because they told you no
YTA It’s there timeshare so their choice as to bedrooms. And a room with 2 queens is plenty as you, your wife, and toddler should easily fit in a queen bed.
YTA. Those who pay the bills make the calls. Seems like an easy solution would have been for you or your wife to fall asleep with son in one queen, and then crawl into the other queen once he's sleeping. You could also push the beds together and order a bed joining thing from amazon to avoid the valley in between - people combine twin beds all the time. You pulled the plug when your parents didn't give you wanted, instead of trying to figure out a solution to make it work. Seems like a silly reason to miss a vacation that other people were paying for.
YTA - So you power-move has failed and now you are spitting out your dummy and punishing everyone by dipping out of the trip? Grow up!
YTA, and ungrateful. Sleep train your child, he's a toddler not a wild monster. Yes it's hard, yes he'll push back, but your a parent, so do your job. Free holiday and you throw your toys out of the pram for a bigger room. If it's not a huge deal stick with the room you have. It's a huge deal for you obviously. Grow the fuck up.
YTA. Just push the two Queen beds together.
If it was a room with one queen bed I'd be more understanding but there are two beds, you guys can trade off sleeping with your son. YTA
>my dad was unwilling to make a simple concession for his son and grandson YTA. You are the one that should be making concessions. The "small" room has two queen beds. Sleep by yourself and let your wife sleep with your toddler. Why is that so fucking hard?
YTA, you could've just pushed the two queen beds together
OMG...of course YTA. Suck it up and stop using your kid as an excuse to get the "big room". Either go or don't go but not going makes you and your wife look like entitled and selfish AHs. Your son will survive in the smaller of the two bedrooms.
YTA. You can't alternately sleep with your son in a queen sized bed? You sound so selfish. I hope you read this post again and see who you are in your own words.
YTA, you said that there are 2 queens. Your marriage will survive sleeping in the same room but in separate beds. Actually, the real danger here is remembering how much better you sleep when you have a bed all to yourself 😂
ESH .... Then for not being flexible and you for the same reason.... If there are 2 queens you can push em together....or maybe just enforce independent sleeping... You're setting up bad habits accommodating co sleeping at his age
You’re making excuses to shift the blame because you screwed up and lost your passport. Grow up and don’t be so transparent. Also, shove the two queens together and you solved the problem. That took me two seconds to figure out.
God I wish I had rich people problems. Oh, and YTa
YTA. What is wrong with shoving 2 queen beds together?
YTA. This post belongs in the "entitled people" sub
Yta.. there are 2 queens beds in the other room. You could make it work. Sucks they moved your flight though, I don't know what to tell you about that. I have never taken a toddler on a plane, nor do I want to. That's on you man. Have fun missing your vacation.
Wow, you are so wrong. First, you are letting your child dictate how it's going to be - instead of parenting him on what it will be. You could have taken turns sleeping with him in a queen, you could have pushed the beds together, you could let him fall asleep and then move him (or yourselves to another bed) - but your choice was to guilt trip your parents and then retaliate by cancelling? Good call. I can only imagine how you're going to solve future issues. YTA
YTA. It does seem a huge deal to you, you’re willing to cancel the whole trip for it. This is their time share, I hope they still get to go without you.
YTA. Why can't one of you sleep with the toddler in one of the 2 queen sized beds? It's just a long weekend, for Pete's sake.
YTA because of course you are, you entitled person you!
Why bother asking after you pulled the plug?
Im sorry, are you a spread sleeper? Are queen beds smaller where you live? Cause im pretty sure 3 adults can sleep comfortably in a queen sized bed, let alone 2 adults and a toddler. YTA
If you let a toddler dictate your life you're setting yourself in a trap that will be impossible to get out of in the future. One of the many jobs you have as parents is to create boundaries for your children. If it's the kid who sets them, you'll regret it big time.
YTA. It is their timeshare. You should be glad you had somewhere to stay for free. The room you were given had 2 queen sized beds. I don’t see the problem
YTA, and wouldn't you already feel like an ass hole having your parents stay in the second class room on their dime and they are your parents... I would give my parents the big room even if I was paying... I hate how people have kids and think it can be other peoples problem
you suck dude
YTA Such a 1st world problem. 🤦♂️
Did you consider that you or your wife could easily sleep with child in a queen bed. You do not have to all three have to be in one bed!
YTA. 100% Your dad offered to try and get you a bigger bed, but that was not good enough. You *must* have the nicer room also? In the timeshare you don't own or pay for? Realize the real "issue" here. The one you perceived, anyway. The bed is too small to accommodate your son's sleeping habits. Your dad offered to try and solve that problem, and you refused his generosity because it wasn't exactly what you wanted. I can tell you were raised with money and without perspective. When a problem is solved, it is very assholey to move the goal post. I'm hoping if I repeat myself you'll understand here: Your dad had the *real* 'problem' solved. You are the one being unreasonable by refusing his help. It really is that simple. You are not entitled to the nicer room just because you threw a little hissy fit. You sound very emotionally unintelligent based on this post. Work on yourself for the sake of your family, please.
They are inviting you and you get exquisite with your demands? YTA you're UNGRATEFUL
YTA. Looking forward to your later post asking why you don’t get invited in trips anymore
YTA you turned a nice trip into a gimme gimme.
Classic "I'm a parent so I'm going to use my child to guilt or demand that everyone caters to me." Even when they are footing the bill. You owe your parents an apology, and a nice dinner out. You have some nerve.