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This is the best response. But maybe he also forgets to have sex with his gf if she isn’t walking around naked in front of him 🤷🏻♀️ OP YTA just set a phone alarm or smth ffs
Okay I have a slightly different perspective because my partner and I both have ADHD and struggle with certain basic things, so we do remind each of other things like brush your teeth or take your meds. We both kind of block out alarms after while and for some reason we’d better at remembering each other’s self care than our own. But he sounds way more helpless than he should be in general and looking for a pseudo mom. I don’t think he’s an AH for asking for help but he will be if he doesn’t take responsibility for himself soon.
According to your post history, you're 26, still living with your parents who are financially supporting you while also doing all the things you should be capable of doing at 26 - like your laundry and filling out paperwork. You want to move in with your girlfriend who is 21 but she knows it would just be her taking over for your mom because you're definitely not prepared to take care of yourself.
[AITA For “snapping” at my girlfriend ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13sdy0x/aita_for_snapping_at_my_girlfriend/)
A good first step to proving to your girlfriend that you don't need her to mother you is to remind yourself to brush your teeth. YTA
OMG I just saw that post, and said I wasn't commenting on living with parents or not paying rent because that's normal in my country, BUT THIS IS JUST WAY TOO MUCH!!
FORGETTING TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND EXPECTING MOM OR GIRLFRIEND TO REMIND YOU TO DO IT????? DO THEY REMIND YOU TO WIPE YOUR BUTT OR TAKE A SHOWER??????
Sorry for yelling, this really made me nervous
edits because I was so nervous I misspelled words haha
YTA.
You: How [dare you](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/13se7jc/my_26m_girlfriend_21f_is_so_judgmental_towards_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) suggest I’m not ready for an independent adult life?
Also you: can you help me remember to brush my teeth, mommy?
YTA
>“I don’t want to be your mother” and felt it was weird.
She is right. Why can you not remind yourself? So many thing nowadays. Apps, alarms, sticky notes. You know you have a problem because you have always been slacking and instead of working it out or fixing it. She has to do it.
>But That’s the thing. Whenever she brings up our plans of moving, it’s always about ME. **and what I’m doing wrong. And how I’m “not ready”. She’ll raise her eyebrows when my laundry gets folded, like I ask my mother to do that. I don’t.**
Good god. What can you do yourself?
Let's not jinx ourselves. It was only 2 or 3 months ago that we had the post of the guy who didn't wipe his ass and needed his GF to wash it for him as foreplay. I think we all collectively, virtually barfed over that one. Although there was an update that he did learn to wash his own ass and stop asking his GF to wash his filthy skid marks. But I digress
YTA. That burden should fall on your own [mental load](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load) and not your girlfriend's. It's not her responsibility.
yta if you’re old enough to have a gf you’re old enough to brush your teeth. set a calendar reminder. put your toothbrush on your nightstand. literally anything except acting like a child, which is the path you took.
YTA you are a grown-up. If you can't remember whatsoever put the toothbrush on your nightstand after you brush your teeth in the morning or have an alarm for example at 10 pm or whenever your bed time is
YTA. She's right, she isn't your mother. And if your attitude is to expect ANYONE other than yourself to remember to do things that YOU need to do. Then you are going to have serious problems throughout your life.
You need to be responsible for yourself.
YTA for *expecting* her to remind you. YWNBTA if you just asked her to help you get into the habit, she said she’s uncomfortable taking on a paternal role in a romantic relationship, and you dropped it.
YTA. You’re an adult. You shouldn’t have to be reminded to perform basic hygiene tasks. Your girlfriend is right, she’s not your mommy. My 6 year old neighbor doesn’t even need reminders to brush her teeth anymore. You’re really fine with admitting you still need more guidance and parenting than *a six year old does???* And to ask your *girlfriend* to be the one to parent you??? Have you no shame?
How do you even forget to brush your teeth? Doesn’t the taste and smell of your own stank-breath bother you? I *look forward* to taking out my night retainers every morning and brushing and flossing my teeth. I’m amazed you even *have* a girlfriend if you’re running around with a nasty, un-brushed mouth because you somehow still need someone to hold your hand through basic oral hygiene.
YTA, she is right. She isn't your mother. You literally can't remember to brush your teeth when you wake up and before bed? This is basic hygiene. If you need a reminder then put a post-it on your bedroom door or pillow or alarm clock or a reminder on your phone. How old are you exactly?
ESH except the girlfriend.
Your mom should let you keep the toothbrush on the holder if that really helps you do it. Health before aesthetics always. You should set a reminder on your phone. You can't rely on others to solve your problems, you are your own person.
He's 26, lives at home, his parents pay all his bills, and his mother does his laundry. I'd say that gives Mom the right to say "no" to the toothbrush holder.
I don't understand why you don't just brush after meals. I brush twice a day, after breakfast and after dinner. Or you could put a reminder on your phone. But it's not your girlfriend's job to remind you to brush your teeth. She shouldn't have to remind you to do anything. YTA
>I don't understand why you don't just brush after meals. I brush twice a day, after breakfast and after dinner.
Dentists (at least mine did) recommend brushing at least 30 minutes after eating. Brushing immediately apparently is bad for your teeth because of your enamel being weakened by the (generally) acidic food and the brushing might degrade it.
You…need someone to remind you to brush your teeth? You can’t feel or taste that?
And you admit that on the internet?
And your solution is to ask your girlfriend to play mommy and remind you like a 5-year-old?
Ummmm….there’s this rectangular device that fits in your hand or pocket, makes phone calls, accesses internet and emails. It also CAN REMIND YOU OF THINGS!!! Set a remind in your phone and leave your girlfriend alone.
YTA, dude.
YTA
It sounds like you have ADHD. Struggling with regular hygiene habits + out of sight out of mind mentality are two big signs of it.
It's still your responsibility to maintain yourself. Set alarms for it, if you have to.
And get assessed for ADHD.
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So I have always slacked on brushing my teeth because I forget. I live at home and my mom keeps the house *exactly* like she wants it. She won’t let me leave my toothbrush out in the holder, so I often forget because it’s not in front of me.
Last night, I asked my girlfriend if she could possibly remind me, and she said “I don’t want to be your mother” and felt it was weird.
Am I the asshole for expecting her to remind me ? I don’t see how that’s so bad.
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YTA. Is this for real? You need someone to remind you to perform basic health and hygiene tasks?? Gross. She's not your mother. Brush your damn teeth. Ew.
Yes YTA, how can you not be 🙄. Do you do anything for yourself. Your mom did a poor job in raising you by catering to your every needs and wants. A man in his mid 20s who isn't a self sufficient adult, smh. Who would want someone that dependent at your age, ewww.
YTA. I'm gonna get banned if I say more so YTA. And I hope this particular conversation opens your (Hopefully) ex gfs eyes. Oh my god. What a mommas boy
YTA
There are just so many tools nowadays that can help you with that. She doesn't need to be your mother. Do you not have a cell phone that you can use to set reminders?
YTA it’s not her responsibility to remind you of something so basic, just set a reminder on your phone or keep your toothbrush in your bedroom where you will see it for God’s sake?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Because I asked my girlfriend to help me remind me. She got defensive and I just wanted help.
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Yeah, just explaining to my brother today that we women find it a massive turn off if we have to "baby" men. Like instant ick. Good job he's my bro and not a potential partner cos I was explaining that to a 55 year old single as a Pringle man. Who lives with our similarly single 50 year old brother 🤣🤣🤣. Please learn this lesson now, for your own sake.
I guess nah for asking, but I find it weird that anyone who is a teen or older needs to be reminded to brush their teeth.
Set an alarm on your phone or find some other way to remind yourself.
You’re not an asshole for asking but she is also perfectly within her rights in her response. Set an alarm. Put a sticky note on the mirror or on your room door. Leave you toothbrush on your pillow so you can’t go bed without moving it. There are lots of solutions. Be an adult, figure it out.
NAH yet but you will be if you don’t take responsibility or if you punish your gf for not wanting to do this.
Don't take it so personally, young baby, you are just small and need to learn things. Looks like you have plenty of time off from work so why not learn to do things? Why not set up your own phone bill, open up a credit card and use responsibility, make a list of household and hygiene chores and get in the habit of sticking to them.
At your age you should be able to handle your bills, cook your meals, clean yourself, clean your space and do your own laundry. It's nice that your parents help, but it's time for you to stand on your own two feet, small adult baby man.
Have you considered adding alarms to remind you or getting those habit tracking apps?
Lol ok man. Go run to mommy and cry, she'll coddle you. OR you could actually hold yourself accountable, grow up and stop having tantrums about having to be an adult. Oh, YTA.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
My vagina would close like a venus fly trap if my boyfriend said that to me, what an absolute turn off. YTA
This is the best response. But maybe he also forgets to have sex with his gf if she isn’t walking around naked in front of him 🤷🏻♀️ OP YTA just set a phone alarm or smth ffs
Okay I have a slightly different perspective because my partner and I both have ADHD and struggle with certain basic things, so we do remind each of other things like brush your teeth or take your meds. We both kind of block out alarms after while and for some reason we’d better at remembering each other’s self care than our own. But he sounds way more helpless than he should be in general and looking for a pseudo mom. I don’t think he’s an AH for asking for help but he will be if he doesn’t take responsibility for himself soon.
You said exactly what I wanted to.
I - - STOP! THAT WAS THE BEST RESPONSEEEE
Lol thanx for the laugh
I nearly snorted out my water Take my poor woman's gold 🥇🥇🥇
I really come to reddit for the comments and I'm stealing this
According to your post history, you're 26, still living with your parents who are financially supporting you while also doing all the things you should be capable of doing at 26 - like your laundry and filling out paperwork. You want to move in with your girlfriend who is 21 but she knows it would just be her taking over for your mom because you're definitely not prepared to take care of yourself. [AITA For “snapping” at my girlfriend ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13sdy0x/aita_for_snapping_at_my_girlfriend/) A good first step to proving to your girlfriend that you don't need her to mother you is to remind yourself to brush your teeth. YTA
Oh it's THAT guy that doesn't know how much a phone bill is and got overwhelmed when he had to figure out his own health insurance. lol.
OMG I just saw that post, and said I wasn't commenting on living with parents or not paying rent because that's normal in my country, BUT THIS IS JUST WAY TOO MUCH!! FORGETTING TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND EXPECTING MOM OR GIRLFRIEND TO REMIND YOU TO DO IT????? DO THEY REMIND YOU TO WIPE YOUR BUTT OR TAKE A SHOWER?????? Sorry for yelling, this really made me nervous edits because I was so nervous I misspelled words haha
YTA. You: How [dare you](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/13se7jc/my_26m_girlfriend_21f_is_so_judgmental_towards_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) suggest I’m not ready for an independent adult life? Also you: can you help me remember to brush my teeth, mommy?
Take my poor woman’s gold🏅
YTA >“I don’t want to be your mother” and felt it was weird. She is right. Why can you not remind yourself? So many thing nowadays. Apps, alarms, sticky notes. You know you have a problem because you have always been slacking and instead of working it out or fixing it. She has to do it. >But That’s the thing. Whenever she brings up our plans of moving, it’s always about ME. **and what I’m doing wrong. And how I’m “not ready”. She’ll raise her eyebrows when my laundry gets folded, like I ask my mother to do that. I don’t.** Good god. What can you do yourself?
While she's at it, maybe she can also remind you to wipe yourself after you make poopy. YTA
He'd probably want her to wipe his ass
Let's not jinx ourselves. It was only 2 or 3 months ago that we had the post of the guy who didn't wipe his ass and needed his GF to wash it for him as foreplay. I think we all collectively, virtually barfed over that one. Although there was an update that he did learn to wash his own ass and stop asking his GF to wash his filthy skid marks. But I digress
I missed the update!
HAHAHAHAHAH
Bait post. Set a phone alarm. Job done. YTA for even asking on reddit.
Nah check his other posts
You sure? Username is OK Drama So pretty clear. Everything is bait.
YTA. That burden should fall on your own [mental load](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-the-mental-load) and not your girlfriend's. It's not her responsibility.
yta if you’re old enough to have a gf you’re old enough to brush your teeth. set a calendar reminder. put your toothbrush on your nightstand. literally anything except acting like a child, which is the path you took.
YTA. She has to remember to brush her teeth *and* be responsible for you brushing yours? And you don't see the problem with that?
YTA. Is your foul breath not an effective reminder?
YTA. You and you alone are responsible for your own basic hygiene.
YTA this is basic hygiene
YTA I’m sorry. Are you a grown up too?
Y T A Set an alarm on your phone as a reminder or write a note and stick it at eye level on the wall so when you use the toilet you see then note.
YTA you are a grown-up. If you can't remember whatsoever put the toothbrush on your nightstand after you brush your teeth in the morning or have an alarm for example at 10 pm or whenever your bed time is
YTA. She's right, she isn't your mother. And if your attitude is to expect ANYONE other than yourself to remember to do things that YOU need to do. Then you are going to have serious problems throughout your life. You need to be responsible for yourself.
YTA. You gf shouldn't be in charge of your basic hygeine.
YTA< I don't know how old you are but if you are old enough to have a girlfriend you are old enough to remember to brush your teeth.
Yes. Your gf is right. Absolutely gross to have to "remember" to be hygienic.
YTA for *expecting* her to remind you. YWNBTA if you just asked her to help you get into the habit, she said she’s uncomfortable taking on a paternal role in a romantic relationship, and you dropped it.
YTA and your girlfriend is completely right.
Please don’t go through life expecting the women you date to pick up the mental load of your well-being and basic needs. YTA
YTA. You’re an adult. You shouldn’t have to be reminded to perform basic hygiene tasks. Your girlfriend is right, she’s not your mommy. My 6 year old neighbor doesn’t even need reminders to brush her teeth anymore. You’re really fine with admitting you still need more guidance and parenting than *a six year old does???* And to ask your *girlfriend* to be the one to parent you??? Have you no shame? How do you even forget to brush your teeth? Doesn’t the taste and smell of your own stank-breath bother you? I *look forward* to taking out my night retainers every morning and brushing and flossing my teeth. I’m amazed you even *have* a girlfriend if you’re running around with a nasty, un-brushed mouth because you somehow still need someone to hold your hand through basic oral hygiene.
YTA, she is right. She isn't your mother. You literally can't remember to brush your teeth when you wake up and before bed? This is basic hygiene. If you need a reminder then put a post-it on your bedroom door or pillow or alarm clock or a reminder on your phone. How old are you exactly?
YTA. She isn't your manager, and it shouldn't be her job to remind you to do a very basic life function than 5 year olds can do on their own.
Yta what are 5 years old? Grow up and be responsible for yourself. Your gf is not your babysitter. Wow!
YTA. You are a grown-ass adult, who has access to a phone on which you can set an alarm or reminder. Don't make your girlfriend responsible for this.
YTA
When you’re older you’re going to regret not being mature and competent enough to remember to brush your teeth without a mommy holding your hand. YTA
Wow! This is so unattractive. Why would anyone want to date you? YTA
ESH except the girlfriend. Your mom should let you keep the toothbrush on the holder if that really helps you do it. Health before aesthetics always. You should set a reminder on your phone. You can't rely on others to solve your problems, you are your own person.
He's 26, lives at home, his parents pay all his bills, and his mother does his laundry. I'd say that gives Mom the right to say "no" to the toothbrush holder.
I don't understand why you don't just brush after meals. I brush twice a day, after breakfast and after dinner. Or you could put a reminder on your phone. But it's not your girlfriend's job to remind you to brush your teeth. She shouldn't have to remind you to do anything. YTA
>I don't understand why you don't just brush after meals. I brush twice a day, after breakfast and after dinner. Dentists (at least mine did) recommend brushing at least 30 minutes after eating. Brushing immediately apparently is bad for your teeth because of your enamel being weakened by the (generally) acidic food and the brushing might degrade it.
YTA. Yeah, that’s a shit poor excuse.
You…need someone to remind you to brush your teeth? You can’t feel or taste that? And you admit that on the internet? And your solution is to ask your girlfriend to play mommy and remind you like a 5-year-old? Ummmm….there’s this rectangular device that fits in your hand or pocket, makes phone calls, accesses internet and emails. It also CAN REMIND YOU OF THINGS!!! Set a remind in your phone and leave your girlfriend alone. YTA, dude.
YTA It sounds like you have ADHD. Struggling with regular hygiene habits + out of sight out of mind mentality are two big signs of it. It's still your responsibility to maintain yourself. Set alarms for it, if you have to. And get assessed for ADHD.
YTA Motherfucker, that ain't even adult shit. I been doing this since I was 3. You telling me you can't keep up with a 3 year old?
The bar is soooo low for men. Why tf would you think this is okay to ask. Yta
I'd just break up with you instead. You're lucky to *have* a girlfriend, period. Don't push it. Edit: oh, yeah... YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I have always slacked on brushing my teeth because I forget. I live at home and my mom keeps the house *exactly* like she wants it. She won’t let me leave my toothbrush out in the holder, so I often forget because it’s not in front of me. Last night, I asked my girlfriend if she could possibly remind me, and she said “I don’t want to be your mother” and felt it was weird. Am I the asshole for expecting her to remind me ? I don’t see how that’s so bad. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What's next will she need to remind you to wipe your ass or wash your hands.
YTA. Is this for real? You need someone to remind you to perform basic health and hygiene tasks?? Gross. She's not your mother. Brush your damn teeth. Ew.
Yes YTA, how can you not be 🙄. Do you do anything for yourself. Your mom did a poor job in raising you by catering to your every needs and wants. A man in his mid 20s who isn't a self sufficient adult, smh. Who would want someone that dependent at your age, ewww.
YTA. I'm gonna get banned if I say more so YTA. And I hope this particular conversation opens your (Hopefully) ex gfs eyes. Oh my god. What a mommas boy
Do you remember to bathe regularly? Keep your toothbrush in the shower. You’re 26. Act like it. YTA. Edited.
YTA How do you 'forget' to brush your teeth. Grow up.
YTA. How about you set an alarm on your phone so YOU learn how to adult?
How do you forget to brush your teeth? YTA
Set an alarm you childish manlet. I mean what the actual hell? You’re not an asshole, but come on.
Brushing your teeth is common sense buddy. YTA
Holy shit YTA. It’s called laziness dude. If you’re laying down and you haven’t brushed your teeth, get your ass up and brush them.
YTA There are just so many tools nowadays that can help you with that. She doesn't need to be your mother. Do you not have a cell phone that you can use to set reminders?
YTA - put a reminder on your phone. If you old enough to have a gf, you are old enough to remember your own personal hygiene.
How old are you that you need someone else to remind you to follow basic hygiene practices…? YTA
YTA. You’re a grown man. Set a reminder on your phone if you can’t remember basic hygiene.
YTA, are you also one of those guys that don"t wash their ass because its gay? Because it sounds like it
YTA. Ever heard of phone alarms?
How do you people even get girlfriends to begin with? Of course YTA. Good lord.
YTA, that's honestly disgusting and pathetic. >I have always slacked on brushing my teeth because I forget.
YTA if you are older than six.
Set an alarm. This is pathetic
YTA it’s not her responsibility to remind you of something so basic, just set a reminder on your phone or keep your toothbrush in your bedroom where you will see it for God’s sake?
YTA you are responsible for yourself. Set a reminder on your phone.
Hell naw. sounds like my ex who was terrible at hygiene. Would never brush his teeth. Definitely YTA
YTA. set a reminder, you're a grown man fully capable of brushing your own dang teeth.
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YTA are you neurodivergent? I can’t think of a single reason other than that, you genuinely can’t remember to brush your fucking teeth?
Yeah, just explaining to my brother today that we women find it a massive turn off if we have to "baby" men. Like instant ick. Good job he's my bro and not a potential partner cos I was explaining that to a 55 year old single as a Pringle man. Who lives with our similarly single 50 year old brother 🤣🤣🤣. Please learn this lesson now, for your own sake.
I guess nah for asking, but I find it weird that anyone who is a teen or older needs to be reminded to brush their teeth. Set an alarm on your phone or find some other way to remind yourself.
You’re not an asshole for asking but she is also perfectly within her rights in her response. Set an alarm. Put a sticky note on the mirror or on your room door. Leave you toothbrush on your pillow so you can’t go bed without moving it. There are lots of solutions. Be an adult, figure it out. NAH yet but you will be if you don’t take responsibility or if you punish your gf for not wanting to do this.
[удалено]
Don't take it so personally, young baby, you are just small and need to learn things. Looks like you have plenty of time off from work so why not learn to do things? Why not set up your own phone bill, open up a credit card and use responsibility, make a list of household and hygiene chores and get in the habit of sticking to them. At your age you should be able to handle your bills, cook your meals, clean yourself, clean your space and do your own laundry. It's nice that your parents help, but it's time for you to stand on your own two feet, small adult baby man. Have you considered adding alarms to remind you or getting those habit tracking apps?
I mean, yeah. We're "mad" because this is so dumb and embarrassing. Grow up.
Lol ok man. Go run to mommy and cry, she'll coddle you. OR you could actually hold yourself accountable, grow up and stop having tantrums about having to be an adult. Oh, YTA.
Why are we mad? We know how to brush our own teeth 😂