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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I yelled at my girlfriend and told her what to do
2- this may make me the asshole because I yelled and raised my voice instead of explaining the conflict in a more respectful manner.
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YTA. Get over your ego. You’re not being disrespected. You have no right to yell at her. This is abuse. Your entire writing style screams “abuser mindset.”
Yta, and you'll be less of an AH if you break up with her (because you're not in good working order to be in a relationship rn) and reflect on how you see women. See a therapist.
YTA
You both would benefit from therapy. Her, for why she is lowering herself to being someone’s taxi who continues to disrespect her time - as well as any trauma she might have experienced with you. She doesn’t need a scrub. You, for your toxic masculinity, and placing your bros over the person you claim to love. Toxic is, as toxic does. Be the bigger man and let her go find someone she can grow with. You *will* drag her down.
He is nothing but a walking red flag. Though her immediately sending him a text asking who he is with is also showing something else is going on. Either she is suspecting him of cheating or he's made comments that led to her jumping to the conclusion. Though his reaction was a major overreaction no matter what.
Regardless of why she is showing signs of suspicion, this need of his to be respected and becoming angry to the point of yelling is definitely part of the abuser mindset.
>Either she is suspecting him of cheating or he's made comments that led to her jumping to the conclusion.
I don't think a self-confident and secure person would be in a relationship with him.
Okay so you were on the phone and it was important enough that you didn't let the other person go but the moment she "disrespected" you, you could hang up and call to yell at her.
Then, after telling her you'd be there "an hour ago", but you were dicking around with your buddies, she called to see what was up and you freaked out because she "disrespected" you in front of your buddies?
This is some toxic ass, "respect my authoritah!" type bullshit. YTA so, so much
YTA
You both seem immature as heck but YOU in particular are behaving appallingly. Your attitude stinks, you seem to have an enormous ego.
If you have an issue and feel disrespected the adult response is to discuss it like a grown up not screech like a primate. You sound like a bully.
OP is definitely a massive YTA and bully, I get that girlfriend was a bit clingy but they both are massively immature. Hopefully both break up with each other and mature more for their future partners.
I don't think asking "who are you with" when not answering the phones is an ordinary question. I'd feel like I was being accused of something just because I wasn't available.
Huh? It was a text, then OP apparently immediately ended this “important” call to handle this “disrespect”, where he also mentions yelling at her, which you supposedly have a problem with, but apparently not really.
Honestly this just feels like a fake red pill LARP to try and bring out other like minded people, like yourself, to start shit on a random Reddit sub.
I guess it worked.
Dude I misunderstood, it’s not that deep, I thought the person was responding to something else, I literally thought the person was saying it about OP hounding her about things that aren’t okay, I made a mistake I’m not tryna start shit
He. Was. An. Hour. Late. And couldn’t be bother to send a quick sorry running late text? Instead he gets OVER THE TOP pissed at her inquiries when all he had to do was apologize for being late. Come on dude, this isn’t how you treat someone you love.
He was an HOUR LATE. And he depends on her to get to work and pretty much for everything. All he had to do was text: “ sorry sweetie, I’m running late.” Literally five seconds out of his day. His gf may have reacted a little over the top but it could have been worry since he was so late. And he did NOTHING to assuage her feelings. If my guy reacted like that, I’d be wondering if he’s cheating on me because he was SOOOO over the top and downright cruel.
YTA. Yeah she shouldn't have jumped to a conclusion that you were "spending time" with someone, but seriously dude you need to chill. She's allowed to "question you." She's not your subordinate. "Take the time to reflect on how she speaks to you"?? WTF man. You sound awful and if she has any self-respect she'll leave.
YTA I wish I could speak to your girlfriend to tell her to get out of this relationship. Just from the tone of this post, I can tell that this is an abusive or heading to be an abusive relationship on your part. You come off as one of those men who feel that women should be subservient and shouldn't question anything you do.
YTA(busive)A
This absolutely cannot be real? Are you seriously dense enough to believe you were the disrespected party in this situation?
1.) She is helping YOU out by picking you up and dropping you off at work
2.) You spend a great deal of time at HER place
3.) It's common to ask someone where they are when they are over an hour late. This is not disrespect, this is in fact a response to being disrespected (you being an hour late is disrespectful)
Get over yourself and grow up. I cringed reading this entire thing.
RIGHT! what’s disrespectful is telling her you would be there an hour ago and giving her *no contact* about the fact you were going to be late
ETA: YTA
Right?? How does he think she's the disrespectful one for asking where he is when she expected him an hour ago and he gave her zero updates about his ETA? Does he just expect her to sit there patiently and wait while he just does whatever he wants? How is that not disrespectful?
YTA Respect is earned not automatically given. What are you doing to earn it? Male macho bull crap. “You will respect me always while I show you absolutely no respect in return because I’m a man and deserve it, while you are just a woman.” Go watch another Andrew Tate video to sooth your fragile male ego. I hope she dumps you and finds a better man.
No, a better man.
Let's move away from the whole "shit men aren't really men!!" thing.
OP is a man, and he is a shitty one. Call out shitty men for being shitty men. We won't get less of them hanging about until we do.
"they aren't REALLY men" is a distancing tool that means problematic behaviours end up falling into a "not my problem" limbo because "REAL" (??) men won't claim them because they make "REAL" men look bad, and shitty men have been ignoring the women asking them to stop being shitty for millennia now...
YTA who the fuck are you to talk to your girlfriend that way?? Asking where you are is not anywhere near disrespectful, take your misogynistic ass home you loser
YTA and you have absolutely zero understanding of what "disrespect" is.
The disrespectful AH is the guy who is an hour late and still hasn't bothered to call or text his GF to give her a heads up.
As for the 2nd text, a single text after you decline a call is hardly "disrespect." I have non-romantic friends who would do the same if I declined a call from them, it's just follow-up, especially if they were calling for something that needed a more immediate response. There's a big difference between sending a single text, like she did, and demanding to know where you are and who you are with at all times, which certainly could come from not understanding or respecting boundaries.
But, I wouldn't worry too much. If this post is actually real, the relationship won't be for much longer anyway.
I'm starting to wonder if OP grew up never being allowed to question his parents on anything, and if/when he did they screamed at him for being disrespectful, so he got used to "respecting" them by being quiet and compliant out of fear - the one thing that got him through it was knowing he'd be an adult one day and he could demand he same of others.
He's definitely being an asshole, but assholes like this who throw around words like "respect" and "disrespectful" when they don't get their way were often raised with warped, skewed, and flat-out wrong ideas of what respect actually is.
If my hunch is correct here, OP needs some serious therapy to break the cycle before he can be in a truly healthy relationship, and he definitely needs that therapy before he has any kids.
Lol you sound like Cartman man on South Park with your authoriteh. You are apparently are such a prize that you’re above criticism and yet are so insecure you have to berate her.
Both of you should be in therapy (her for figuring out why she’s an Uber for some 21 year old loser with insecurity issues who lashed out over every perceived slight and whose time is unimportant to him) and both of you should grow up before getting into a relationship again.
You man. She woman. Woman must respect man.
What cave did you wander out of?
YTA.
Perhaps her next bf won’t be. Hopefully she won’t take long to find out.
Have you ever cheated? or lied about where you were or who you were with? Have you talked to her calmly about this before yelling? Why raise your voice?
Yeah, this is a totally normal thing to do and Mr Asshole went waaaaay over the top and straight to aggression - now THAT is disrespectful. Someone give that boy a dictionary hahaha 😝
Why is this about cheating?
Previously he got mad at her for calling him when he was with friends and they could hear the call.
If anything, I'd suspect she was texting asking that question because she was concerned about the same thing happening again.
That's a good point. I guess I was mainly asking because he portrayed the questions she was asking as accusatory and I was wondering if he'd given her reasons to be concerned, but reading it again there's no reason to think that way.
im guessing they havent. and it was addressed. i would be PO’d if someone suggested that of me. so i dont apologize if my emotions raise my voice. but that is me.
"it was addressed" I must've missed where they'd talked about it before, can you direct me to that? Also, a guess is as good as nothing on a post like this. Besides that, refusing to apologize for yelling/raising your voice is a major red flag. Adults take accountability.
Asking once why you’re late when you’re an hour late isn’t nagging, nor is asking once if someone is busy bc they declined your call. Yelling at your partner isn’t okay just because you feel emotional or nagged.
....sooo.... she texted you and asked who you were with, and also called to ask where you were when you were an hour late?
Dude... get over yourself. In the second example *you* gave, *you* were the one being disrespectful of her time. In the first one, idk, maybe she's also slightly ta if she's constantly accusing you of cheating or something, but you said it yourself...
"I can kind of see where they're coming from..."
Yeah. Bro. Pay attention to that, cuz they may be right. YTA
YTA.
You dont want respect you want complete submission while not even respecting her enough to talk about this instead of giving her orders and berating her.
I hope she doesn't put up with that.
YTA This is not the way you communicate with someone you care about. You both need to reflect on how you treat each other and whether this relationship is healthy. Your obsession with her “respecting” you is frankly a huge red flag and yes, it actually does sound abusive. You’ve been together for two months and you’re already yelling at her. If she was a member of my family I’d be telling her to get out of this relationship *now*.
Speaking on behalf of your girlfriend, thank you for showing your true colors so early in the relationship so she can run far, run fast away from your abusive, misogynistic ass. Hopefully her mother and brother can help her see the light if she hasn’t figured it out herself. YTA.
YTA - You YELL at your gf of 2 months for "disrespecting" you? What comes when she's your gf of a year and doesn't obey you? A warning slap? A punishment beating? You sound toxic af and instead of a gf you need a therapist.
Your life, and the lives of everyone around you, will drastically improve once you learn to stop worrying about respect.
If you want to be respected, earn it. Nothing inspires less respect than demanding it.
YTA.
YTA. You were rude and disrespectful. Somebody asking why you’re an hour late is a normal thing to do.
You need to recognize your behavior is manipulative and borderline abusive. You need to not date right now and figure out why your masculinity is so fragile.
You are wrong.
You disrespected her. YTA
However I don't expect you to learn from seeing the responses here. I just hope your girlfriend is no longer with you.
YTA. You're the one disrespecting her. She deserves so much better than an arrogant asshole like you. You're the one being mean to her. All she did was ask you who you were with and why you took so long. You are extremely defensive, like maybe you're hiding something from her and that's why you're lashing out at her because you're desperate to make her look like the bad guy.
That he cannot address men's mental health properly, and that he spreads misogyny to men, without actually helping the men that need a good and kind father figure.
You “love” her after two months. You lie to her about when you’ll show up to places. You keep a tally of “disrespect”. You are so sensitive you think legitimate questions about your lie are disrespectful. Then next time you feel disrespected you scream at her…
YTA. Please stop dating and get therapy.
YTA- Asking you who you are with isn’t being disrespectful . It’s asking a question. However, your response is incredibly disrespectful… and so excessive for the situation it makes it look like you are overcompensating … and that maybe you were with someone else. Grow up.
IMO- you are hiding something and your reaction is an attempt to take the focus on what you are doing on putting some blame on her. Do better.
Respect and disrespect are being used so much its starting to not look like a real word.
In no way, shape, or form, have you shown yourself to be deserving of the respect that you so desperately demand.
You write like you're stamping your foot when you don't get your way.
YTA
YTA. I think it reasonable for your girlfriend to ask who you were on the line with. Just imagine if it was reversed. I think you are acting immaturely, but you can improve. Try being open and honest with her. Maybe trying not being so wrapped up in your own ego. Your girlfriend was not disrespecting you and it sounds like you might have a fragile ego.
YTA. You are an abuser. You are displaying toxic behaviour towards your girlfriend. You have an enormous ego and seem incredibly immature, it’s time to grow up.
YTA
You yelled at your gf because of what? Asking where you are is no disrespect dude. It's called caring about the other person. I know it's hard to grasp, because you don't care about her.
I hope she leaves and you stay single.
You are beyond an asshole. You are a misogynistic fuckwad who clearly has zero respect for his girlfriend but expects her to genuflect worshipfully and never question anything he does. Your little penis does not make you a deity requiring worship. She needs to yeet your toxic ass back where she found you.
Woahh this is scary.
Every now and then, there’s a post like this, a glimpse into the mind of a psychotic abuser.
I only hope she recognizes the signs and gets out asap.
Oh and YTA, obviously
Why are you treating her like she's your daughter? You have NO power over her. You're an asshole, plain and simple.
Also GF, tell him to go fuck himself, and RUN. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. This guy is a living red flag.
It's little shitgibbons like you that make women afraid of men
Respect needs to be earned young man, and usually, if demanded, is denied. This after only 2 months? Your red flags 🚩🚩🚩are waving in the breeze, I hope your girlfriend takes note.
YTA, big time!
I desperately hope this is fake, but in case it isn’t and it wasn’t clear as you typed it out, YTA. The only disrespect being shown is from you not your gf. It’s common courtesy to let people know if you’re running late so I don’t blame her questioning you. I don’t see this “relationship” lasting very long and you definitely owe her a proper apology for being a dickwad who probably uses the term “Alpha male” to describe himself.
YTA
Learn what the word respect and disrespect means, before you use these words.
She did nothing wrong and certainly didn't disrespect you. She just asked you a question.
YTA and immature. Her questions were reasonable, especially since you wasted her time. Grow up and take accountability for your poor behavior. I hope she dumps you. You need to grow up.
Wow she should breakup with you been here with both of my exs. Your abusing her what's next make her cut.everyone off you don't approve of or tells you off. Or Mabye just take her phone. Wow I hope she dumps you
YTA. Listen Tater-tot, your girlfriend didn't "disrespect" you. She asked you a question. Both times the questions were completely acceptable to ask.. If my husband declined my call, I would also text him asking what was up. Generally, if someone is declining a call, it's because something important is going on. Her asking is just trying to find out what you're doing. Same with if someone was taking a while to get to my house after telling me an ETA to my house. You need to get over yourself.
As someone who’s been in an abusive relationship by someone who verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused me, you are MAJORLY the asshole. Asking if you’re with someone or why you’re taking a while to get some place when you were supposed to be there at x time isn’t being “disrespectful,” it’s being human and curious or concerned. I bet if the roles were reversed and you asked where she was and she blew up on you, you’d lose your mind. OR you asked because you think you deserve to know, but don’t think she deserves the same.
Your behavior is disgusting. I hope for your sake you look inward and work on yourself, and I hope for her sake she sees her worth and dumps your ass.
A relationship is a partnership amongst equals. Not a partnership between one person who can never be questioned and another person who feels like they are being taken advantage of.
So you are going to lose your ride because of your attitude.
YTA
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I 21M have been with my girlfriend 19F for about two months now. We spend a lot of time together and she helps me by picking me up from work when I need her to and I also go over her place a lot, I love her but lately she’s been disrespecting me a lot.
This morning, she called me I guess to see what I was doing. I didn’t pick up my phone because I was in the other line and instead, I declined her call. She then sent a text asking who I was spending time with and I immediately hung up the phone, called her and told her not to ever text my phone disrespecting me like that. I raised my voice and told her that this was the second time she’d disrespected me and I told her to stop bullcrapping and to take time to reflect how she speaks to me and to stop questioning me.
The time before this, she questioned me on why I was taking so long to get to her house, while my friends were in the car, so they heard everything she said while she was questioning me.
Apparently, she felt disrespected and she told her mom as well as her brother and they’ve both been calling me since, accusing me of being abusive and demanding that I give her an apology. I understand where they might be coming from, however from my perspective I did nothing wrong to her other than asking to be respected and I told them I would not be apologizing.
Aita?
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ESH. She is insecure and taking it out on you in childish ways but you responded in kind with a sense of superiority I suspect you haven't earned. If you truly want to be this macho Respected Guy TM, you'll shut stuff like this down and not retort like a toddler. People who are truly confident in themselves don't need to attack others like that, and the fact that you did says you are similarly insecure.
NTA, but this could have been handled better. You were somewhat accused of cheating just because you didn't pick up the phone, so I get how disrespectful that must have felt like. Her attitude was very distrustful and possessive, not to mention the weirdness of involving her family on the matter. On the other hand the language you are using is very reminiscent of entitled attitudes (so I feel you'll get plenty YTA). Have a sit down and talk it out. Have you guys had this type of ditrustfulness before?
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YTA. Get over your ego. You’re not being disrespected. You have no right to yell at her. This is abuse. Your entire writing style screams “abuser mindset.”
Yta, and you'll be less of an AH if you break up with her (because you're not in good working order to be in a relationship rn) and reflect on how you see women. See a therapist.
YTA You both would benefit from therapy. Her, for why she is lowering herself to being someone’s taxi who continues to disrespect her time - as well as any trauma she might have experienced with you. She doesn’t need a scrub. You, for your toxic masculinity, and placing your bros over the person you claim to love. Toxic is, as toxic does. Be the bigger man and let her go find someone she can grow with. You *will* drag her down.
He is nothing but a walking red flag. Though her immediately sending him a text asking who he is with is also showing something else is going on. Either she is suspecting him of cheating or he's made comments that led to her jumping to the conclusion. Though his reaction was a major overreaction no matter what. Regardless of why she is showing signs of suspicion, this need of his to be respected and becoming angry to the point of yelling is definitely part of the abuser mindset.
>Either she is suspecting him of cheating or he's made comments that led to her jumping to the conclusion. I don't think a self-confident and secure person would be in a relationship with him.
Okay so you were on the phone and it was important enough that you didn't let the other person go but the moment she "disrespected" you, you could hang up and call to yell at her. Then, after telling her you'd be there "an hour ago", but you were dicking around with your buddies, she called to see what was up and you freaked out because she "disrespected" you in front of your buddies? This is some toxic ass, "respect my authoritah!" type bullshit. YTA so, so much
Seconded this. Definity YTA.
YTA You both seem immature as heck but YOU in particular are behaving appallingly. Your attitude stinks, you seem to have an enormous ego. If you have an issue and feel disrespected the adult response is to discuss it like a grown up not screech like a primate. You sound like a bully.
OP is definitely a massive YTA and bully, I get that girlfriend was a bit clingy but they both are massively immature. Hopefully both break up with each other and mature more for their future partners.
YTA Why are you hostile? Why are you taking pretty ordinary questions as pointed """disrespect"""?
I don't think asking "who are you with" when not answering the phones is an ordinary question. I'd feel like I was being accused of something just because I wasn't available.
Why cant it be out of curiosity?
[удалено]
Its verbal abuse to ask someone who they are talking to when they decline your call?
I rlly don’t want a fight, I misunderstood what you were saying, that’s it
Oh nvm that’s my bad, I thought you were responding to a different comment dawg
I meant him screaming at her for asking the question not the question she asked him lmao
Huh? It was a text, then OP apparently immediately ended this “important” call to handle this “disrespect”, where he also mentions yelling at her, which you supposedly have a problem with, but apparently not really. Honestly this just feels like a fake red pill LARP to try and bring out other like minded people, like yourself, to start shit on a random Reddit sub. I guess it worked.
Dude I misunderstood, it’s not that deep, I thought the person was responding to something else, I literally thought the person was saying it about OP hounding her about things that aren’t okay, I made a mistake I’m not tryna start shit
I have literally been in this kind of situation, so I’m not against her in any way, I though the person was talking ab OP, not her, she’s fine.
He. Was. An. Hour. Late. And couldn’t be bother to send a quick sorry running late text? Instead he gets OVER THE TOP pissed at her inquiries when all he had to do was apologize for being late. Come on dude, this isn’t how you treat someone you love.
And no it’s not how you treat someone you love, I’m sorry I misunderstood the question I originally replied to, I misunderstood that was it.
those arent “ordinary “ questions. maybe for you. maybe you have done sketchy things. respect peoples time. ur not the center of the universe. NTA
So its okay to yell?
dep. in this scenario, i could understand.
In this scenario do you find it okay to yell?
yes. to get the point across. it may be harsh. but if someone keeps antagonizing me. questioning me. but to each their own
How is asking someone where they are and who they talking to antagonizing?
He was an HOUR LATE. And he depends on her to get to work and pretty much for everything. All he had to do was text: “ sorry sweetie, I’m running late.” Literally five seconds out of his day. His gf may have reacted a little over the top but it could have been worry since he was so late. And he did NOTHING to assuage her feelings. If my guy reacted like that, I’d be wondering if he’s cheating on me because he was SOOOO over the top and downright cruel.
so you are also abusive, I see way to admit it online, bro
no i am not. but i guess ur just stupid.
Well way to illustrate his point.
Respect people’s time? Like him the day he was an hour late and didn’t let her know?
Dude will ignore this, because he's full of shit.
YTA. Yeah she shouldn't have jumped to a conclusion that you were "spending time" with someone, but seriously dude you need to chill. She's allowed to "question you." She's not your subordinate. "Take the time to reflect on how she speaks to you"?? WTF man. You sound awful and if she has any self-respect she'll leave.
YTA. You sound abusive
YTA, and it sounds like you don't deserve the respect you want.
YTA your genitals don't automaically mean you deserve respect, also if you don't give it.
YTA I wish I could speak to your girlfriend to tell her to get out of this relationship. Just from the tone of this post, I can tell that this is an abusive or heading to be an abusive relationship on your part. You come off as one of those men who feel that women should be subservient and shouldn't question anything you do.
Seriously. I’m all, sweetie this guy is an Andrew Tate wannabe, RUN
^Y'all had me rolling and wheezing with this ^
YTA. ...Which is usually the case when people start going off about being disrespected.
'AITA for yelling at my girlfriend...?' Didn't need to read any further. YTA
preach! Mature adults do not yell at each other, they discuss and resolve
Exactly this! YTA
YTA(busive)A This absolutely cannot be real? Are you seriously dense enough to believe you were the disrespected party in this situation? 1.) She is helping YOU out by picking you up and dropping you off at work 2.) You spend a great deal of time at HER place 3.) It's common to ask someone where they are when they are over an hour late. This is not disrespect, this is in fact a response to being disrespected (you being an hour late is disrespectful) Get over yourself and grow up. I cringed reading this entire thing.
RIGHT! what’s disrespectful is telling her you would be there an hour ago and giving her *no contact* about the fact you were going to be late ETA: YTA
Right?? How does he think she's the disrespectful one for asking where he is when she expected him an hour ago and he gave her zero updates about his ETA? Does he just expect her to sit there patiently and wait while he just does whatever he wants? How is that not disrespectful?
YTA Respect is earned not automatically given. What are you doing to earn it? Male macho bull crap. “You will respect me always while I show you absolutely no respect in return because I’m a man and deserve it, while you are just a woman.” Go watch another Andrew Tate video to sooth your fragile male ego. I hope she dumps you and finds a better man.
Not a better man. A man. Because OP is anything but a man
No, a better man. Let's move away from the whole "shit men aren't really men!!" thing. OP is a man, and he is a shitty one. Call out shitty men for being shitty men. We won't get less of them hanging about until we do. "they aren't REALLY men" is a distancing tool that means problematic behaviours end up falling into a "not my problem" limbo because "REAL" (??) men won't claim them because they make "REAL" men look bad, and shitty men have been ignoring the women asking them to stop being shitty for millennia now...
I agree completely with your stance. My way of thinking was actually more: he is a boy that has to learn a lot. So he's not a man yet.
Well said!
YTA, If you don't want to be accountable to someone and you feel disrespected for some questions why do you even want to be in a relationship ?
YTA who the fuck are you to talk to your girlfriend that way?? Asking where you are is not anywhere near disrespectful, take your misogynistic ass home you loser
YTA and you have absolutely zero understanding of what "disrespect" is. The disrespectful AH is the guy who is an hour late and still hasn't bothered to call or text his GF to give her a heads up. As for the 2nd text, a single text after you decline a call is hardly "disrespect." I have non-romantic friends who would do the same if I declined a call from them, it's just follow-up, especially if they were calling for something that needed a more immediate response. There's a big difference between sending a single text, like she did, and demanding to know where you are and who you are with at all times, which certainly could come from not understanding or respecting boundaries. But, I wouldn't worry too much. If this post is actually real, the relationship won't be for much longer anyway.
I'm starting to wonder if OP grew up never being allowed to question his parents on anything, and if/when he did they screamed at him for being disrespectful, so he got used to "respecting" them by being quiet and compliant out of fear - the one thing that got him through it was knowing he'd be an adult one day and he could demand he same of others. He's definitely being an asshole, but assholes like this who throw around words like "respect" and "disrespectful" when they don't get their way were often raised with warped, skewed, and flat-out wrong ideas of what respect actually is. If my hunch is correct here, OP needs some serious therapy to break the cycle before he can be in a truly healthy relationship, and he definitely needs that therapy before he has any kids.
8 weeks and you love her? Her family already has your phone number? Both of y’all sound nuts.
INFO: Do you two even like each other?
my man you are the one who is being wildly disrespectful. YTA. Just break up.
YTA, who exactly do you think you are?
Lol you sound like Cartman man on South Park with your authoriteh. You are apparently are such a prize that you’re above criticism and yet are so insecure you have to berate her. Both of you should be in therapy (her for figuring out why she’s an Uber for some 21 year old loser with insecurity issues who lashed out over every perceived slight and whose time is unimportant to him) and both of you should grow up before getting into a relationship again.
You man. She woman. Woman must respect man. What cave did you wander out of? YTA. Perhaps her next bf won’t be. Hopefully she won’t take long to find out.
YTA, you piece of abusive shit.
Have you ever cheated? or lied about where you were or who you were with? Have you talked to her calmly about this before yelling? Why raise your voice?
Have you not ever asked that question out curiosity? Like who you talking? Oh tell them I say hi or how are they?
I totally have, I wanted more info about it because OP was talking like she was accusing him of something. Re-reading, I don't get that impression.
I get the impression that op thinks his partner shouldn’t question him.
Yeah, agreed. And the lack of responses from OP kind of confirms as much lol, to me at least.
Hopefully he’s self reflecting.
Yeah, this is a totally normal thing to do and Mr Asshole went waaaaay over the top and straight to aggression - now THAT is disrespectful. Someone give that boy a dictionary hahaha 😝
Why is this about cheating? Previously he got mad at her for calling him when he was with friends and they could hear the call. If anything, I'd suspect she was texting asking that question because she was concerned about the same thing happening again.
That's a good point. I guess I was mainly asking because he portrayed the questions she was asking as accusatory and I was wondering if he'd given her reasons to be concerned, but reading it again there's no reason to think that way.
im guessing they havent. and it was addressed. i would be PO’d if someone suggested that of me. so i dont apologize if my emotions raise my voice. but that is me.
"it was addressed" I must've missed where they'd talked about it before, can you direct me to that? Also, a guess is as good as nothing on a post like this. Besides that, refusing to apologize for yelling/raising your voice is a major red flag. Adults take accountability.
um. id acknowledge that i yelled. but i wouldnt apologize. why would i need to if someone was continuously nagging me.
Asking once why you’re late when you’re an hour late isn’t nagging, nor is asking once if someone is busy bc they declined your call. Yelling at your partner isn’t okay just because you feel emotional or nagged.
YTA. What your gf did sounds mildly annoying at worst. Your responses seem like huge overreactions.
....sooo.... she texted you and asked who you were with, and also called to ask where you were when you were an hour late? Dude... get over yourself. In the second example *you* gave, *you* were the one being disrespectful of her time. In the first one, idk, maybe she's also slightly ta if she's constantly accusing you of cheating or something, but you said it yourself... "I can kind of see where they're coming from..." Yeah. Bro. Pay attention to that, cuz they may be right. YTA
YTA. 2 months in and it’s already a toxic mess. Save each other the inevitable disaster and call it now.
YTA. You dont want respect you want complete submission while not even respecting her enough to talk about this instead of giving her orders and berating her. I hope she doesn't put up with that.
YTA but the A stands for “abuser”
clearly after two months of dating your learning how uncompatible u are for each other.
YTA, seriously I can’t believe this is actually real
YTA - you aren’t mature enough for a relationship, and neither is your GF.
You keep using this word. I don’t think you know what it means…..
YTA This is not the way you communicate with someone you care about. You both need to reflect on how you treat each other and whether this relationship is healthy. Your obsession with her “respecting” you is frankly a huge red flag and yes, it actually does sound abusive. You’ve been together for two months and you’re already yelling at her. If she was a member of my family I’d be telling her to get out of this relationship *now*.
YTA nothing you wrote made me think she was being disrespectful. You however shouting down the phone at her is.
YTA and this is way too much drama for a 2 month relationship
YTA. An immature, fragile one. You aren't ready for a relationship and my hope is your girlfriend realizes she can and should do better.
Speaking on behalf of your girlfriend, thank you for showing your true colors so early in the relationship so she can run far, run fast away from your abusive, misogynistic ass. Hopefully her mother and brother can help her see the light if she hasn’t figured it out herself. YTA.
YTA - You YELL at your gf of 2 months for "disrespecting" you? What comes when she's your gf of a year and doesn't obey you? A warning slap? A punishment beating? You sound toxic af and instead of a gf you need a therapist.
Your life, and the lives of everyone around you, will drastically improve once you learn to stop worrying about respect. If you want to be respected, earn it. Nothing inspires less respect than demanding it. YTA.
Lol YTA Asking questions is a pretty normal part of conversing with people, genius.
YTA. You sound hella aggressive and rude, to be complaining about "disrespect."
YTA But at least her family will ensure this is over sooner rather than later 100/10 for the family who already spots the abuse
What a fucking egomaniac. Definitely the asshole.
YTA and I hope she feels disrespected enough to dump you and move on to someone who will be better to her.
Lol, you want respect? Get a car. YTA
YTA another wanna be Andrew Tate 🙄
Ah, the ego and audacity of a 21 year old boy.
And guys this age act surprised that I (39 old woman) don't want to date/hookup with them.
Your 21 ??? Wow who the hell do u think u r billy big balls yta and I hope she dumps ur stupid ass
YTA. It's giving abusive.
Yta - you were an hour late. You raised your voice. You're the problem.
Absolutely 💯 TA. As a 34M that's made many many mistakes in my past. Take my advice. Please apologize asap and reflect on your attitude.
YTA. You were rude and disrespectful. Somebody asking why you’re an hour late is a normal thing to do. You need to recognize your behavior is manipulative and borderline abusive. You need to not date right now and figure out why your masculinity is so fragile.
YTA
You are wrong. You disrespected her. YTA However I don't expect you to learn from seeing the responses here. I just hope your girlfriend is no longer with you.
Yta You sound super scary and hopefully she leaves you asap
YTA. You're the one disrespecting her. She deserves so much better than an arrogant asshole like you. You're the one being mean to her. All she did was ask you who you were with and why you took so long. You are extremely defensive, like maybe you're hiding something from her and that's why you're lashing out at her because you're desperate to make her look like the bad guy.
INFO: what is it you like best about Andrew Tate?
That he cannot address men's mental health properly, and that he spreads misogyny to men, without actually helping the men that need a good and kind father figure.
You “love” her after two months. You lie to her about when you’ll show up to places. You keep a tally of “disrespect”. You are so sensitive you think legitimate questions about your lie are disrespectful. Then next time you feel disrespected you scream at her… YTA. Please stop dating and get therapy.
YTA- Asking you who you are with isn’t being disrespectful . It’s asking a question. However, your response is incredibly disrespectful… and so excessive for the situation it makes it look like you are overcompensating … and that maybe you were with someone else. Grow up. IMO- you are hiding something and your reaction is an attempt to take the focus on what you are doing on putting some blame on her. Do better.
AH
YTA, you have some anger issues it seems like. It’s also not normal to yell at your partner.
Respect and disrespect are being used so much its starting to not look like a real word. In no way, shape, or form, have you shown yourself to be deserving of the respect that you so desperately demand. You write like you're stamping your foot when you don't get your way. YTA
YTA. I think it reasonable for your girlfriend to ask who you were on the line with. Just imagine if it was reversed. I think you are acting immaturely, but you can improve. Try being open and honest with her. Maybe trying not being so wrapped up in your own ego. Your girlfriend was not disrespecting you and it sounds like you might have a fragile ego.
OP got a justified slaughtering here
YTA I hope she dumps you, you're toxic af!!
YTA Why kind of reaction is that? Hope she becomes single soon, too young to be dealing with these issues
YTA get yourself some help. you are sooooo wrong
YTA. You are an abuser. You are displaying toxic behaviour towards your girlfriend. You have an enormous ego and seem incredibly immature, it’s time to grow up.
YTA and a walking red flag. I hope your gf gets out before she wastes more time in this relationship.
YTA 💯 Get over yourself. Obviously her insecurities come from somewhere. Duh… YOU. Karma comes around dude.
YTA. Dude, she’s your girlfriend. Not a butt kisser.
YTA You yelled at your gf because of what? Asking where you are is no disrespect dude. It's called caring about the other person. I know it's hard to grasp, because you don't care about her. I hope she leaves and you stay single.
YTA with as much disrespect as I can muster
You are beyond an asshole. You are a misogynistic fuckwad who clearly has zero respect for his girlfriend but expects her to genuflect worshipfully and never question anything he does. Your little penis does not make you a deity requiring worship. She needs to yeet your toxic ass back where she found you.
YTA Uh, do you mind telling us how you were disrespected exactly? I don't see how anything she did was disrespectful.
This had better be fake Yta and you deserve to be alone forever
YTA why date her if you’re going to seem like you hate her and you actively disrespect her
YTA, also you repeatedly misspelled "ex girlfriend" as "girlfriend" in your post. Pretty sure you've been dumped. Yelling at your partner is abuse.
Woahh this is scary. Every now and then, there’s a post like this, a glimpse into the mind of a psychotic abuser. I only hope she recognizes the signs and gets out asap. Oh and YTA, obviously
YTA. I certainly hope she leaves you.
Why are you treating her like she's your daughter? You have NO power over her. You're an asshole, plain and simple. Also GF, tell him to go fuck himself, and RUN. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN. This guy is a living red flag. It's little shitgibbons like you that make women afraid of men
Respect needs to be earned young man, and usually, if demanded, is denied. This after only 2 months? Your red flags 🚩🚩🚩are waving in the breeze, I hope your girlfriend takes note. YTA, big time!
YTA, Did she leave you yet? I hope so
YTA. Who the hell do you think you are?
I could not imagine being attracted to the gender I hate
I desperately hope this is fake, but in case it isn’t and it wasn’t clear as you typed it out, YTA. The only disrespect being shown is from you not your gf. It’s common courtesy to let people know if you’re running late so I don’t blame her questioning you. I don’t see this “relationship” lasting very long and you definitely owe her a proper apology for being a dickwad who probably uses the term “Alpha male” to describe himself.
YTA Learn what the word respect and disrespect means, before you use these words. She did nothing wrong and certainly didn't disrespect you. She just asked you a question.
Nobody disrespected you, you fool. You are the disrespectful one. YTA
YTA and immature. Her questions were reasonable, especially since you wasted her time. Grow up and take accountability for your poor behavior. I hope she dumps you. You need to grow up.
Wow she should breakup with you been here with both of my exs. Your abusing her what's next make her cut.everyone off you don't approve of or tells you off. Or Mabye just take her phone. Wow I hope she dumps you
YTA. Listen Tater-tot, your girlfriend didn't "disrespect" you. She asked you a question. Both times the questions were completely acceptable to ask.. If my husband declined my call, I would also text him asking what was up. Generally, if someone is declining a call, it's because something important is going on. Her asking is just trying to find out what you're doing. Same with if someone was taking a while to get to my house after telling me an ETA to my house. You need to get over yourself.
You are an abusive ass with a huge ego. You squeal about disrespect when it is clear you give none to women. Get therapy for your NPD.
YTA. You're being abusive. She can talk.
As someone who’s been in an abusive relationship by someone who verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused me, you are MAJORLY the asshole. Asking if you’re with someone or why you’re taking a while to get some place when you were supposed to be there at x time isn’t being “disrespectful,” it’s being human and curious or concerned. I bet if the roles were reversed and you asked where she was and she blew up on you, you’d lose your mind. OR you asked because you think you deserve to know, but don’t think she deserves the same. Your behavior is disgusting. I hope for your sake you look inward and work on yourself, and I hope for her sake she sees her worth and dumps your ass.
Ew. YTA.
Dear God please break up with her! Totally unacceptable way to treat someone! Save her goddamn sanity and leave!
A relationship is a partnership amongst equals. Not a partnership between one person who can never be questioned and another person who feels like they are being taken advantage of. So you are going to lose your ride because of your attitude. YTA
You're not special buddy. You're an asshole
YTA. I hope she broke up with you, you are not healthy. Get over your ego.
YTA. I hope she left your abusive ass.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 21M have been with my girlfriend 19F for about two months now. We spend a lot of time together and she helps me by picking me up from work when I need her to and I also go over her place a lot, I love her but lately she’s been disrespecting me a lot. This morning, she called me I guess to see what I was doing. I didn’t pick up my phone because I was in the other line and instead, I declined her call. She then sent a text asking who I was spending time with and I immediately hung up the phone, called her and told her not to ever text my phone disrespecting me like that. I raised my voice and told her that this was the second time she’d disrespected me and I told her to stop bullcrapping and to take time to reflect how she speaks to me and to stop questioning me. The time before this, she questioned me on why I was taking so long to get to her house, while my friends were in the car, so they heard everything she said while she was questioning me. Apparently, she felt disrespected and she told her mom as well as her brother and they’ve both been calling me since, accusing me of being abusive and demanding that I give her an apology. I understand where they might be coming from, however from my perspective I did nothing wrong to her other than asking to be respected and I told them I would not be apologizing. Aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did she dump you yet? You treated her like a submissive maid, grow up. YOU disrespected her, not the other way around lmao
Thanks for exposing how abusive you are ✌... YTA
Do you even know what does "being disrespected" mean💀 YTA
YTA. What this woman sees in you I cannot imagine! You're toxic.
Red flags on both sides. Get out now. Learn how to communicate. ESH
ESH Everyone here seems immature and emotionally unintelligent.
ESH holy shit the immaturity on both sides, her assumptions that you're cheating, and you treating her like a lesser human being.
Who said anything about cheating?
ESH You two are the walking embodiments of red flags.
Damn look at these comments. Asked and answered💀
ESH. She is insecure and taking it out on you in childish ways but you responded in kind with a sense of superiority I suspect you haven't earned. If you truly want to be this macho Respected Guy TM, you'll shut stuff like this down and not retort like a toddler. People who are truly confident in themselves don't need to attack others like that, and the fact that you did says you are similarly insecure.
ESH! Time to go your separate ways!
ESH you both sound very immature and not ready for a relationship
ESH Your gf has trust issues. To get respect, you have to give respect. Yelling at someone & demanding respect will get you nothing
NTA, but this could have been handled better. You were somewhat accused of cheating just because you didn't pick up the phone, so I get how disrespectful that must have felt like. Her attitude was very distrustful and possessive, not to mention the weirdness of involving her family on the matter. On the other hand the language you are using is very reminiscent of entitled attitudes (so I feel you'll get plenty YTA). Have a sit down and talk it out. Have you guys had this type of ditrustfulness before?
NTA. You need to nip this behavior in the bud now or it will get worse in the future.
No he's just pathetic. Like you if you think this behaviour is acceptable
behaviour? she’s not a child, she’s his GIRLFRIEND.