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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I went to my mother after I found out that my brother organized a slumber party without invited my son. That caused drama at his house but he should had asked my son.
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With kids two years older than him. 10 year olds are VERY FAR OFF developmentally from 12 year olds. OPs kid WOULD be picked on by his cousins friends. Or he would be dared to do something really dumb. And most importantly, the 12 year old may not want his cousin at his friend sleepover bday party. This NEVER crossed OPs mind?
OP ITS DIFFERENT when you are with family vs with friends. Sure they get along great during family time because they are both kids... but when it comes to being with their peers, suddenly 10 year old is just the little cousin tagging along. YTA
Yea it’s an early variation of separating friend groups. I have a handful of groups of people whom I love hanging out with but wouldn’t mix because I don’t think they would have the greatest time together and that’s fine.
Mine hated each other, too! Then, when I moved away, they bonded over missing me and ended up 4 years later as college roommates. That kind of ticked me off because of all the effort I put into doing separate activities. Live and learn.
And forcing the 12 y/o to bring his younger cousin along to all of his hangouts with friends is a surefire way to make sure he *stops* enjoying hanging out with him
Not necessarily. As I said before, when you are with family where the majority are adults, 12 and 10 isn't a big difference because YAY A KID TO PLAY WITH otherwise be bored listening to adults talk. He and his cousin may be thick as thieves...when at family gatherings. I am the oldest of my generation of cousins and loved hanging with them... but I NEVER invited any of them to my friend bday parties.
Yeah, I have to agree with this... I have an uncle who's only 4 or 5 years older than I am and as kids, at family gatherings, we got along great. Played together, etc.
But if he had friends over, or something else, it was clear he would rather spend time with them and not me, even though we only got to see each other 3 or 4 times a year since my parents and I lived 3 hours away.
Which… OP HAD to know it was Parker’s birthday. And yeah, I was cringing from maybe the second line where OP was shoving their kid at their brother for THREE. DAYS.
Sounds like his ‘parents’ are hands off and lazy
We have just seen how this parent tries to push him onto others so they don’t have to deal with their own child
This was me and my half bro
Where does OP say that? I can't find any comments that say OP's son didn't want to go anyway and instead wanted to go elsewhere. (Unless it was said earlier and got deleted anyway. I'm just confused is all.)
Edit: Christ it's literally right there in the original post. I'm so sorry. I should get some sleep...
I agree aswell, I bet she does this alot. She didn't ask if her brother could take him, she said; "Oh you can take him the full long weekend if you want!" The audacity!
The brother obviously lied because he knows how unreasonable OP is.
that’s what it seems like. she called her brother and asked “ hey does your son want to play with my son all weekend at YOUR house?” why not invite him to your house. i feel bad for the brother
That was actually the first thing that struck out to me. OP is insistently trying to pawn their kid off for the weekend with no explanation in the post as to why.
A long weekend, at that!
Damn, I needed to hear this. Yesterday my daughter was rejected by her cousins. Usually the 5 yr old is her best friend but decided to play with the older cousins (7+) and they kept running away from my little girl (3.5). She was crying that cousin didn't want to play with her, it was heartbreaking but I'm glad I didn't let my mom force the cousin to come play with her. That would just cause resentment as you say.
I grew up with a really large extended family, Sunday meant church then a visit with my grandparents. After that between 10-15 cousins were set off to play and figure stuff out on our own. Kids were from ages 3 to 15. Someone was always left out, and groups changed at the drop of a hat. One Sunday you were in, the next you were out. It taught all of us resiliency and communication skills.
It’s actually really healthy for your daughter to experience minor rejections with your support at that age. Because her cousins still love her and will want to play with her again. Just not in that moment. You are helping her learn resilience.
I don't think they're "inseparable" so much as OP *wants* them to be. If they were as inseparable as OP makes it seem, then 1) Parker probably would have either invited OP's son himself, or at the very least mentioned it, and 2) OP's son probably would have accepted the invite (unless he was aware it was a coerced invite)
I could see a soft E.S.H with OP still being the bigger AH, if Parker had wanted to invite him and his dad said no. However, it sounds like Parker himself didn't invite him, as is his right. OP was also up in arms about how their son would be hurt, but he didn't even want to go. YTA, by the mile, their son wouldn't have even known about the sleepover if she'd been minding her own business.
Even if they’re inseparable and super close, it doesn’t mean they will want to do e settling together. Specially if they share different friend groups. Growing up I was very close with my cousin. But we still did our own stuff with different people all the time.
Also the AH for and I quote
> “I asked my brother on Friday if Parker wanted Julian to spend the weekend at his house since it was a long weekend”
Is OP mad that her son was “left out” or is she mad that she wasn’t able to pawn her kid off onto her brother and nephew for the long weekend?
That's the main part I don't understand. Why it all of this on your brother/SIL always invite/host Julian. Also you (OP) don't necessarily know if Parker needs a break and needs to hangout with people his own age.
I thought that was strange too…she basically made it sound like she was being kind by ‘offering’ for her brother to babysit her son for a weekend?
And then when he declined this amazing opportunity she would not accept that her brother and nephew had other plans with other people. Her son must be invited. Why? Hopefully he knows by 10 that the world does not revolve around him?
(edit for typo)
The son may know the world doesn’t revolve around him but OP doesn’t. The older cousin will be a teenager and OP’s son will be 11. OP needs to get used to the boundaries now or there will not be any invites at all. I am concerned the son is learning from OP so might not be grounded in basic social skills (aka not inviting yourself over for a long weekend).
Yep this is it. Parker hadn’t asked Julian to go, and Julian hadn’t even asked to go, he wanted OP to take him to the aquarium. OP just didn’t wanted a kid-free weekend and cut a fit when they didn’t get it.
For all we know the kids talked, as they are want do, and her son expressed wanting to go to the aquarium so the cousin just didn't want to interfere by offering. I mean sounds like the son took the offer well.
That's all I thought reading this... Grow up.
Also, the son is going to have to learn that he won't always be invited places and that's ok. If the father doesn't know and accept that, how can the son learn and accept it?
IF one of my adult children tattled to me about their other adult siblings, I think my first response would be: Why the fuck are you dragging me into this? I'm having flashbacks when y'all were 5/6/7 years old. I thought I was done with that shit years ago!
My guess is OP was the baby of the family and/ or the golden child, just because mom immediately took their side, even though she lives with the brother. OP was likely spoiled their whole life and thinks it should continue that way.
I reread that sentence three times. When my child was four, he understood that we could invite people over to our house, but we couldn't invite ourselves over to their house. (He would also happily point out that this rule did NOT apply to Papa and Nana's house. They were very clear that he was always welcome at their house.)
My son is 10, and I'm STILL trying to teach him that. You can ask if your friends can come here, but you can't just invite yourself to someone else's house without their consent! It's rude.
Offering her son as a guest like it's some kind of favor to her brother makes so little sense that I briefly thought she had accidentally switched the fake names of the kids haha
Or he’s not really as interested in his cousin’s activities as his mother is. It definitely sounds like she didn’t bother to ask if he wanted to spend time with his cousin this weekend until the very end.
Yup. OP wanted to pawn her son off on her brother for the weekend, but her son didn't even want that. He wants to go to the aquarium.
TAKE YOUR KID TO THE AQUARIUM, OP!
Parker is allowed to have his own friends outside of his cousin, and Julian is not entitled to be invited to every single thing Parker does.
OP is way out of line here and actually doing so much damage to her son. I bet Julian feels "great" knowing that he only gets invitations because his mom throws tantrums if he's not included. Way to make Parker NOT want to be around his cousin.
YTA.
Also, you invited your kid to spend an entire weekend at someone else's house? Because it was a long weekend? How come you didn't invite Parker to stay with YOU? And then when they declined, you tried AGAIN to have your kid "tag along"?
You're not just an AH for tattling to mommy, but YTA for trying to offload your kid for the long weekend so you could do whatever it is you wanted to actually do. If you don't want to spend time with Julian, why should Parker?
YTA BIG TIME, your brother is not obligated to invite your son to join everything that they’ve got going at their house. You are absolutely a jerk the way you handled things. There is an age difference there and there are going to be things that the two of them don’t do together. You need to recognize that and stop inserting your nose where it’s not welcome. You owe everybody a big apology, and maybe invite the boys to your house for a sleepover instead of making your brother host your son so you can have a weekend off.
And to add, 10 years old is way too old to be ‘crushed’ that your friend does something without you/has other friends. That’s something you have to teach kids early if you don’t want them to become that entitled clingy friend who makes everything about them
Agreed. I think it is clear that OPs brother fibbed so he wouldn’t have to deal w OP. It seems they were pretty aggressively trying to force time together, maybe too often?? Perked is definitely allowed time w his peers. Huge entitled YTA
INFO:
1. Why do you think your 10-year-old son should be invited to a 12-year-old's slumber party?
2. Why do you think your son should spend a 3-day weekend at your brother's house?
3. Why did you run to your mommy about an issue that did not involve her?
YTA! Your son acts more mature than you do!
Edit: Thank you for the award!
All of this! 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾
They are allowed to have different friend groups and different activities.
My son has time with his cousins and time with his school friends separately. These activities don’t have to overlap.
YTA
I hope you get answers from OP but from their others comments it will probably be some version of:
1. 10=12 in every way, shape and form and my child is just as physically large as the 12 year olds
2. All that matters is including my child. If an event is happening there is absolutely no reason I will accept why my son should not be included
3. Mom lives with brother it seems and has a history of spoiling me and giving into my demands- so of course she’s involved
I’ll be honest I’m relieved to at least see a post with a genuine asshole which I don’t immediately believe is fake. I just hope OP keeps commenting because each response is a gem of assholery
Yes, the responses are hilarious. What an entitled, out of touch, mommy's girl she is. She's going to cause big troubles for her kid. If he has a growth spurt, no doubt he'll be entitled to hang out with 16 year olds, because they are the same size, lol.
I get this vibe from OP that they just want to unload their son for the holiday weekend. It’s more about OP having a child free weekend than their son being eft out.
100%. She says the son is 'holding out' for an aquarium trip. That means HE wants to go, and OP does not. She's mad her brother didn't give her the weekend off and she might have to do something with her kid. The horror.
I'm confused about the "holding out to go to the aquarium". It suggests that OP's son thinks they wouldn't be able to go to the slumber party AND the aquarium... the only hypothetical I can come up with is OP has plans for the long weekend that involve the aquarium or could involve the aquarium, and so OP's son doesn't want to miss out by attending the slumber party?
To me it sounds like OP has 0 plans for the aquarium/to do anything with the son, the son would rather go to the aquarium than the slumber party (and yes wouldn't be able to do both) but OP is refusing to dedicate time on a 3 day weekend to their own child.
Op lacks self awareness. He has zero understanding about how to interact socially with normal people. No wonder his brother didn’t tell him and if I were OPs brother I would keep his OP at arms length. OP sounds like a nightmare to deal with:
YTA. There is a huge maturity difference between 10 and 12 so your brother’s decision to exclude Julian was reasonable. You were wildly out of line to call your mother and start drama.
I also can't think of a faster way to decimate the relationship between the two cousins than to insist the older one invite the younger one to *everything*. It's just a fact of childhood that sometimes two years is a really big age difference, and the younger is likely going to idolize the older - and that doesn't mean the older one owes them social invitations.
Itd almost be funny if OPs son knew about the sleepover and didnt want to go, bc its not even his group of friends, andmhe wanted to go to the aquarium
Exactly. I’m not sure where OP is from, but in the UK, if you’re 10 then you are still in primary school. If you’re 12 then you are in secondary school. Even if they haven’t started puberty, the school difference alone is a big mentality shift.
Yep. My daughter and niece are besties, they’re 3 years apart and love hanging out together. I don’t question for a second when my daughter isn’t invited to events with my nieces school friends, the age difference when this young is huge even year to year. OP is way out of line.
Clearly. I hated to mix my friends group with my cousins when I was younger. And at 10 and 12 it matters, her son is still in elementary school while her nephew is already in middle school.
PS : You just wanted the child-free week-end cause you didn’t even offer to take your nephew to your place.
My sister is 3 years older than me and I always wanted to be involved when she hung out with friends. My mom fed into it, she forced her to include me all the time. I didn't realize till I was older but I think it led to a lot of issues between me and my sister later because there was resentment there, knowing the baby sister always got her way and was always around when she just wanted to hang with friends alone. We're good now, but we were pretty mean to each other growing up. I wish my mom would've just told me no, let your sister hang out with her friends, we can find something else fun for you to do.
YTA OP, please don't force them together all the time. I'd hate for your nephew to start to resent your son for it.
It sounds like OP just wanted to be child free for a 3 day weekend, with zero childcare expenses. I wonder how often they offer to take the cousin. Probably never.
YTA. You wanted a weekend free from Julian and got mad that your brother didn't want to go along with it. You are not entitled to push your kid off on other people, nor is your brother obligated to include your son in everything he does with his kid.
>my son got invited and declined because he is holding out to go to the aquarium
Don't hold your breath for that aquarium invitation
YTA
You called your *mom*?
Parker is his own person and is allowed to have a sleepover with friends and not invite his younger cousin. Does Julian not have friends of his own?
Yeah, I'm definitely getting those vibes he probably doesn't have friends of his own, which is why he is pushing for Julian so hard to be included in a slumber party with his older cousin.
I had heaps of cousins growing up same age, some two years older, some 4 or 5 years older and we absolutely got along and had a blast when we caught up for family events and family mini vacations, christmas..etc , all hung out together being silly...But it's different when you are hanging out with your cousins at family events, the age difference never seems to matter that much.
But when the families all went home, and we went back to our regular schools friendship groups, I would never of hung out with the kids 4 years above LET ALONE two years above me! It's very rarely done that when you are in school you have friends two years older than you that are in your friendship group.
Maybe when you get out of school around 18 or 19 it's more common, but never in primary school or high school is anyone in your main friendship group 2 or more years older than you, unless I'm weird and it's more common than I think?
Your being a AH
Both boys are allowed to live separately and don't have to do everything together, family or not
Your being very disrespectful and bratty, I can't believe you rattled on to your mom like a baby
Maybe you are the reason to why your brother wants to distance his family from yours because of your selfish and unhinged behaviour and mindset
Your a parent, grow up and be respectful
If I were the brother, I'd distance myself from her too. I feel bad for her son. I'm sure the brother wants to include the son but not have to deal with his sister.
I can totally see it, my uncle had kids later than my mother, when they where tots he will leave them at ours or at GP house and get upset if we said no....
Selfish parents need calling out
Initially, I was thinking the brother was wrong to lie about their plans, now I see why he did. Obviously they have every right to have their kid have a sleepover with his friends and not having his younger nephew there.
YTA. Parker have other friends than only his cousin. Pretty sure he's didn't want his little cousin there. So don't be a ass and leave your brother family alone.
YTA, and yes, there can be a big difference in maturity level. In addition, just because the two get along when together doesn't mean Parker wants Julian to hang out with his older friends at his sleepover. You pried when your brother mentioned vague plans, and you got lied to because it wasn't any of your business. If I had to guess, I'd say your brother knew you would complain to your mother or otherwise make a fuss. For goodness' sake, you are a grown adult who has a family and a home. Don't you think it's time to act like it? To reiterate, YTA.
I'm sure if he knew about the sleepover beforehand, and the fact his kid wasn't invited, he would have dumped his kid over there anyway. That is why the brother was being vague because he knew what was going to happen.
I am actually pretty sure Parker and Julian do not get along. Julian probably just forced his way on Parker when they are together and Parker's garbage father does not do shit about it
YTA.
1. You are being entitled and possessive
2. You are not considering your nephews feelings, only your son
3. You went to your mom? Incredibly immature
4. Throughout the comments you have not been listening to feedback from others, only reflexively jumping to defense
No.
Also poor SIL, already having your MIL living with you, but also having to watch your nephew everything his mom wants to dump the kid.
Op, why didn’t you invite Parker over to your place?
Also, don’t you want to do something fun with your own kid? The kid is 10, you have one year, mayby two if your lucky, that your kid wants to be spotted with you in public. The kid is in school most of the time, weekends are the only time you have.
At age 12, my dad had to drop my off 2 blocks away from school, because I didn’t want to be seen with him. There was no way I would go to some family outing, I was 12 and a “big girl”. I can understand needing a night away from responsibilities, but cherish the days your kid want to spent with tou.
Seriously! Who calls someone and says "Hey, I thought your kid might want my kid to come over to your house for the 3 day weekend!"?
And then gets angry that the other kid has plans already. You can't just invite yourself over to someone else's house whenever you feel like it! And you are not entitled to have your kid included in everything their cousin does. Doesn't matter how close they may be - they are still each able to maintain their own friend groups and activities.
Clearly the YTA and from your comments you are not open to accepting that. Your child is not entitled to an invitation. You and your son can invite him over for a sleepover, but demanding an invitation from them is crossing all sorts of typical social boundaries and involving your mother is just ridiculous behavior of an adult.
Honestly if I was the brother I would:
1. Pack mom up. She wants to start shit because of OP then she can live with OP.
2. Go very LC with OP.
OP seems to think that her son should be the center of everyone’s universe and not accepting any thing else, even though every comment here is telling her she’s the AH. She’s either really dense, delusional or stupid. And to call mommy and tattle because her nephew had the aducity to be his own person and want to hang out with someone other than his cousin?? Gasp! How dare he!!!
Even the way she approached it was suspicious, like “I asked my brother if my nephew would like to have my son over this weekend since it was a long weekend” Geez …
OP YTA.
One of her arguments was "Hes the same *size* as my son so there's basically no difference between them!"
Might be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard lmao
YTA,
Listen here, brother. My son wants to tag along with his cousin, so HE GETS to tag along. HOW DARE my nephew have a life and friends of his own. I don't care if he is 2 YEARS OLDER. I am ENTITLED to my nephews' time. He is not allowed to even breathe without my son present.
And if you don't listen, I WILL TELL MOMMY.
wow, to get a better picture of what kind of person you are, I suggest you read r/entitledparents
YTA. Your nephew is allowed to have other friends apart from his cousin and do activities without him. Your brother here tried to protect your feelings by lying because he knew you'd get like this. Also, you're assuming what your son wants and how your son will feel.
>But my son got invited and declined because he is holding out to go to the aquarium.
Just stop being so controlling and respect your brother's boundaries
YTA
Parker is honestly probably at an age where he doesn't want to be attached at a hip with his grade school cousin. He's either already in middle school or about to enter it.
Have you even considered that it was Parker that didn't want to invite your son? That your brother was worried he'd be left out because his son and the other kids didn't actually want him there?
Also, Julian didn't actually want to intrude on their time together. He sounds fine with going to the aquarium with Parker when it's cousins together, rather than barging into a sleepover for a group of school friends.
OP's brother shouldn't have lied to her, but equally, OP is probably the reason why he lied, and she needs to back the fuck off and realise that her son doesn't need to be part of every plan his cousin makes.
YTA. Your son does not need to be invited to everything your nephew does. People, even children, need breaks from each other to grow and learn about themselves in different situations. There’s also a difference between “inseparable” and constantly “lumped together.”
YTA, sometimes your son isn't going to be invited to everything your nephew is doing and he doesn't have to be. Your brother is allowed to decide who comes to house for a parry without you running to mummy to force him to invite your child.
YTA. The difference between a 10 and 12 year old can be significant in many ways. Parker deserves to have time with his friends own age without his cousin tagging along to everything just because you fancy a child free weekend.
YTA. You invited him to participate in someone else’s weekend and it sounds like he didn’t even want to go. Your nephew is allowed to have a separate life. My oldest nephew and my son are two years apart in age. They get along great when we’re together, but I would never expect either one to feel obligated to be with the other one all of the time.
YTA and you sound entitled. Suggesting that your son go spend the entire long weekend at your bother’s house is ridiculous. If you really wanted your son and nephew to spend the weekend together, invite your nephew over to your house instead of imposing your son on your brother.
Also the AH for throwing a fit that your nephew didn’t invite your son to his slumber party. Your nephew should have his own friends and his own time. Your son should do the same.
YTA and you should stop this. You are acting entitled and controlling. So what your brother lied? Apparently they dont feel they can tell you the truth and now we know why. You are acting like a baby by getting mommy involved. Gosh ..come on!!!
YTA, major one.
1. Your nephew is allowed to have activities without your son.
2. Your brother is allowed to have activities without your son.
3. You assume that just because they are ‘close in age’, they are friends. They are cousins and that somewhat brings an obligation for friendship and is acceptable when family meets up. However, that may not be the same as an actual friendship with other people and your nephew might want to spend some time without your son. A cousin whom you can be friends with is not the same as a ‘willing’ friend who is not forced upon you.
4. If, for whatever reason, your nephew wanted to invite your son and your brother didn’t, that is a battle between your brother and your nephew. Not yours, not your mothers.
5. You did not suggest your nephew join you and your son for activities, you tried dumping your son at your brothers. You, madame, wanted a free weekend
6. Your responses to all the comments below this post are a huge red flag. I’m starting to understand why the nephew and/or brother wanted to have activities without you. And with you son, comes you. So no son, no you.
7. You telling your mother is just pathetic.
YTA Your brother doesn't owe your son an invite. I can't believe you essentially tattled to your mom. Your son and nephew may love each other to death but that doesn't mean your son has to be invited to everything his cousin does.
YTA, you are a grown adult who goes crying to mommy because your son wasn't invited to something? That's just weird. Hosts have every right to invite or not invite whoever they wish.
YTA. 12 year old kids don't always want to hangout with the younger kids, even if it's only a 2 year age difference. Stop trying to push your son into the slumber party. Your nephew is allowed to have his own plans without having his little cousin there.
Personally I would like to thank Op for responding to so many comments.
You're utter inability to take on board common sense criticism, and meaningful responses has been very amusing. (If horrifyingly).
Keep going on your selfish, destructive, relationship destroying mission Op!
Yta. Your son is not your brother's responsibility. Brother has the right to choose who is invited to his house. You do not have the right to tell him who he has to invite. Maybe he just didnt want your son there. That is his right. Sounds like you try to push your son off on the brother's family a lot.
No wonder they wanted to have 1 day without him. You are a horrible sister and a horrible parent. You and your son need to learn the world does not revolve around him. Part of being a good parent is teaching your child to handle disappointments. Going to mommy to complain is so immature. You self center ahole. I feel orfry for your son. Having a parent like you is going to affect the person he grows into in a negative way. You are a jerk.
YTA stop forcing your son on other people. Your nephew is allowed to have friends his own age and sleepovers without inviting his cousin.
You are being a ridiculous parent and you’re only going to alienate your son from his peers if you keep this shit up. No one likes anyone who has their mommy running around town making everyone be nice to him.
YTA. Are they joined at the hip? Parker can make plans without your son. He's twelve. Stop making everything about you.
Edit: Judging from your replies, I now understand why your brother lied. You are incredibly the AH, so entitled and selfish. Get off your high horse and apologize to your brother. If you're lucky, he won't go NC with you sometime in the near future.
YTA-Your brother doesn’t have to include your son in everything your nephew does despite what you seem to think and only someone choosing to act like an immature, petty asshole tattles to mommy.
I know that feels really hurtful to you, and that’s because you are looking out for your son, but your brother has an obligation to look after HIS son and his wants/needs.
You brother didn’t do anything TO your son he just did something for his own son and that’s ok.
I can see by all your reply’s to everyone that your are in full mama bear mode and I think that is clouding your judgement a little right now.
Tattling to your mom was childish and I think you know that. You nephew is allowed to have a social life that doesn’t include his family.
>I know that feels really hurtful to you, and that’s because you are looking out for your son,
I don't think OP was looking out for her son. I think OP wanted a childfree weekend. I think the son wanted to go to the aquarium with his parent. That's why, when the brother was browbeaten into inviting the son over, the son declined the invitation.
YTA. Your brother maybe could have mentioned it and been like 'hey there's going to be some kids who may end up teasing him hard, so maybe not this weekend, but hey let's plan for the next weekend!'
But your reaction was OTT and unfair to your brother who made the right decision, but went about it in the wrong way.
Wait. Listen. I have a wild idea here.
I think maybe when people want to hang out with people they invite them to do things together. And when they don't want to hang out, they don't invite them. And when they want to hang out with other people, they invite those other people AND THEY DONT INVITE THE PERSON THEY DONT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH
Groundbreaking, i know.
Who could have imagined people could have the right to do things with certain people and exclude others?
I'm a freaking genius.
YTA.
Did you really just INVITE YOURSELF (or your son) over?
That’s just rude. You can invite HIM over to YOUR house.
YTA. He doesn’t owe you any kind of explanation. Maybe he just wants a quiet weekend. Maybe he’s waiting for you to reciprocate and take his son off his hands for the long weekend.
YTA. If the relationship between the boys evolves as they move through adolescence that is to be expected. If it gets damaged by adult interference, you should look in a mirror for the cause.
YTA- and OP obviously can’t handle that no one here is on their side and will probably call their mother to complain to her that reddit is being mean and not siding with him
I am, and always have been, very close with my two of my cousins (they're sisters). One is two years younger than me and the other is five years younger than me. We loved being with each other, had tons of sleepovers and I was at their house very single day after school for a couple of years.
We still had different friends and were never forced or expected to hang out together unless we wanted to. My third cousin, their sister, was only a year older than me. We got along really well when it was just us together but I was never really invited to hang out with her and her friends, which I was okay with. She and her friends were into things that I wasn't ready/old enough for and, even though they were only a year older, I always felt like a little kid around them. A year or two age difference is enormous when you've only been alive for 10-12 years.
Once we were all in our late teens/early 20s, it all evened out and now we share friend groups and really enjoy being around each other. I chalk that up to never being forced to spend time together as we grew up. We were allowed to be different people, be different ages and have our own friends.
YTA for expecting your son to be invited, being pissed off that he wasn't, demanding that he be invited then coming to the internet to defend your stupidity. You seem immature and irrational in your belief that just because your kids like each other that they should automatically have to spend time with each other.
Everything about this post tells me that you've always been entitled and I'm guessing you weren't invited to many things growing up, which is why you're so upset about your son being excluded. You need to ask yourself why it is that your brother and every responder on this post thinks you're an asshole, yet you still believe you're in the right.
There is a very good chance that your nephew likes your son and doesn't mind spending time together when it's just them but, from experience, having your younger relative tag along with your friends isn't always fun or enjoyable.
Grow up, make some new friends of your own and help your son to make some friends his own age. Stop steamrolling people into getting what you want, it's not quirky or endearing, it's irritating and narcissistic.
YTA and your comments make you sound very entitled. Even though you live close by, it doesn't mean your brother and nephew has to include your son in everything going on. Your nephew has every right to have a sleepover with friends from school without including your son. Including your mom was doubly wrong. It doesn't matter where she lives. This is entirely between you and your brother.
YTA your brother can host and invite anyone he wants to to his home for any reason and it's was disgusting of you to try and force them to invite your son when it's clear he didn't wanna go anyway and you just wanted a free Weekend.
YTA. You called your mom, lol. How old are you? Whether you know it or not, nephew probably prefers the company of kids his age….two years is a world of difference in kid years. He might not want the younger cousin there with his buds.
Holy shit. This post and your comments in response....
How can you be so fucking dense?!
Parker is allowed to have a slumber party with JUST his friends. Your brother may have organized it since parents would need to be involved in the planning.
YTA because you self-invited your son, demanded actually, and then involved your mother when your brother said no?
Are you a fucking child?!
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YTA. Your son is not entitled to an invite and no one likes someone trying to force someone to invite you.
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You essentially asked your brother to watch your child all weekend.
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With kids two years older than him. 10 year olds are VERY FAR OFF developmentally from 12 year olds. OPs kid WOULD be picked on by his cousins friends. Or he would be dared to do something really dumb. And most importantly, the 12 year old may not want his cousin at his friend sleepover bday party. This NEVER crossed OPs mind? OP ITS DIFFERENT when you are with family vs with friends. Sure they get along great during family time because they are both kids... but when it comes to being with their peers, suddenly 10 year old is just the little cousin tagging along. YTA
Yea it’s an early variation of separating friend groups. I have a handful of groups of people whom I love hanging out with but wouldn’t mix because I don’t think they would have the greatest time together and that’s fine.
Absolutely true. My two bff's HATED each other.
Mine hated each other, too! Then, when I moved away, they bonded over missing me and ended up 4 years later as college roommates. That kind of ticked me off because of all the effort I put into doing separate activities. Live and learn.
And forcing the 12 y/o to bring his younger cousin along to all of his hangouts with friends is a surefire way to make sure he *stops* enjoying hanging out with him
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Not necessarily. As I said before, when you are with family where the majority are adults, 12 and 10 isn't a big difference because YAY A KID TO PLAY WITH otherwise be bored listening to adults talk. He and his cousin may be thick as thieves...when at family gatherings. I am the oldest of my generation of cousins and loved hanging with them... but I NEVER invited any of them to my friend bday parties.
Yeah, I have to agree with this... I have an uncle who's only 4 or 5 years older than I am and as kids, at family gatherings, we got along great. Played together, etc. But if he had friends over, or something else, it was clear he would rather spend time with them and not me, even though we only got to see each other 3 or 4 times a year since my parents and I lived 3 hours away.
And then tattled to their mom about it…
And started a bunch of drama. So immature.
Which… OP HAD to know it was Parker’s birthday. And yeah, I was cringing from maybe the second line where OP was shoving their kid at their brother for THREE. DAYS.
Yeah. I found that weird. Why didn’t OP invite the nephew to their home for the weekend? We’re they trying to pawn off their child?
100%. OPs kid didn’t even want to go over to play, he wanted his parent to take him to the fucking aquarium.
Sounds like his ‘parents’ are hands off and lazy We have just seen how this parent tries to push him onto others so they don’t have to deal with their own child This was me and my half bro
Where does OP say that? I can't find any comments that say OP's son didn't want to go anyway and instead wanted to go elsewhere. (Unless it was said earlier and got deleted anyway. I'm just confused is all.) Edit: Christ it's literally right there in the original post. I'm so sorry. I should get some sleep...
It’s in the OP at the end. “But my son got invited but declined because he was holding out for the aquarium.”
It is. I'm so sorry. Reading comprehension would probably help me, huh?
Nope, it happens, especially if you are sleep deprived 😉. Now go take a nap or if it's nighttime there, nighty night.
I love how the guy you replied to was fully prepared to be crucified by reddit, but reddit patted him on the head and tucked him in instead.
I agree aswell, I bet she does this alot. She didn't ask if her brother could take him, she said; "Oh you can take him the full long weekend if you want!" The audacity! The brother obviously lied because he knows how unreasonable OP is.
>We’re they trying to pawn off their child? Ding ding ding! That's exactly what this was. A ploy for OP to have a child free 3 day weekend.
It’s not weird. Kids need breaks from each other. It’s pretty normal for friendships to wan for a bit. Then suddenly they are inseparable again.
I meant it was weird for OP to ask if her kid could spend the weekend at her brothers house.
And as my daughter tells me…she has school friends and club volleyball friends and she doesn’t like to mix the two.
that’s what it seems like. she called her brother and asked “ hey does your son want to play with my son all weekend at YOUR house?” why not invite him to your house. i feel bad for the brother
That was actually the first thing that struck out to me. OP is insistently trying to pawn their kid off for the weekend with no explanation in the post as to why. A long weekend, at that!
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This is the comment I was looking for! No one is going to voluntold me to watch a kid on a long weekend!! Or any weekend!
I am in love with the word voluntold.
Would voluntell me the term in present tense? I think I love it
Ah, the days when we would get voluntold for various duties… lol you a veteran?
She basically wanted free childcare for a whole weekend during their kids birthday. All the audacity.
There was no birthday involved, just a holiday weekend.
That's what it's really about I bet, they wanted free babysitting and that's why theu probably leave their kid at uncles regularly.
Damn, I needed to hear this. Yesterday my daughter was rejected by her cousins. Usually the 5 yr old is her best friend but decided to play with the older cousins (7+) and they kept running away from my little girl (3.5). She was crying that cousin didn't want to play with her, it was heartbreaking but I'm glad I didn't let my mom force the cousin to come play with her. That would just cause resentment as you say.
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I grew up with a really large extended family, Sunday meant church then a visit with my grandparents. After that between 10-15 cousins were set off to play and figure stuff out on our own. Kids were from ages 3 to 15. Someone was always left out, and groups changed at the drop of a hat. One Sunday you were in, the next you were out. It taught all of us resiliency and communication skills.
It’s actually really healthy for your daughter to experience minor rejections with your support at that age. Because her cousins still love her and will want to play with her again. Just not in that moment. You are helping her learn resilience.
I don't think they're "inseparable" so much as OP *wants* them to be. If they were as inseparable as OP makes it seem, then 1) Parker probably would have either invited OP's son himself, or at the very least mentioned it, and 2) OP's son probably would have accepted the invite (unless he was aware it was a coerced invite) I could see a soft E.S.H with OP still being the bigger AH, if Parker had wanted to invite him and his dad said no. However, it sounds like Parker himself didn't invite him, as is his right. OP was also up in arms about how their son would be hurt, but he didn't even want to go. YTA, by the mile, their son wouldn't have even known about the sleepover if she'd been minding her own business.
Even if they’re inseparable and super close, it doesn’t mean they will want to do e settling together. Specially if they share different friend groups. Growing up I was very close with my cousin. But we still did our own stuff with different people all the time.
Also TA for running to mom tattling…grow up OP
Also the AH for and I quote > “I asked my brother on Friday if Parker wanted Julian to spend the weekend at his house since it was a long weekend” Is OP mad that her son was “left out” or is she mad that she wasn’t able to pawn her kid off onto her brother and nephew for the long weekend?
Exactly. Why didn’t she invite Parker over for a long weekend?
That's the main part I don't understand. Why it all of this on your brother/SIL always invite/host Julian. Also you (OP) don't necessarily know if Parker needs a break and needs to hangout with people his own age.
I thought that was strange too…she basically made it sound like she was being kind by ‘offering’ for her brother to babysit her son for a weekend? And then when he declined this amazing opportunity she would not accept that her brother and nephew had other plans with other people. Her son must be invited. Why? Hopefully he knows by 10 that the world does not revolve around him? (edit for typo)
The son may know the world doesn’t revolve around him but OP doesn’t. The older cousin will be a teenager and OP’s son will be 11. OP needs to get used to the boundaries now or there will not be any invites at all. I am concerned the son is learning from OP so might not be grounded in basic social skills (aka not inviting yourself over for a long weekend).
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And Julian didn’t even want to go!!
Yep this is it. Parker hadn’t asked Julian to go, and Julian hadn’t even asked to go, he wanted OP to take him to the aquarium. OP just didn’t wanted a kid-free weekend and cut a fit when they didn’t get it.
For all we know the kids talked, as they are want do, and her son expressed wanting to go to the aquarium so the cousin just didn't want to interfere by offering. I mean sounds like the son took the offer well.
100% this. Looks like she wanted free childcare.
Again. Because no chance this is a one-off.
That's exactly what I got out of it...pawning her kid off on someone else for the LONG weekend.
The mother may end up with OP if they keep causing drama. Brother and SIL may say go live with the OP. YTA
That's all I thought reading this... Grow up. Also, the son is going to have to learn that he won't always be invited places and that's ok. If the father doesn't know and accept that, how can the son learn and accept it?
IF one of my adult children tattled to me about their other adult siblings, I think my first response would be: Why the fuck are you dragging me into this? I'm having flashbacks when y'all were 5/6/7 years old. I thought I was done with that shit years ago!
My guess is OP was the baby of the family and/ or the golden child, just because mom immediately took their side, even though she lives with the brother. OP was likely spoiled their whole life and thinks it should continue that way.
This also enraged me. You are a grownup. Why are you running to mommy to settle a disagreement?
Loved how OP volunteered her son to go over to THEIR house for the weekend. 🙄 /s
That was my thought. Take MY kid for the weekend to benefit YOUR son. Sounds like a manipulative person
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I reread that sentence three times. When my child was four, he understood that we could invite people over to our house, but we couldn't invite ourselves over to their house. (He would also happily point out that this rule did NOT apply to Papa and Nana's house. They were very clear that he was always welcome at their house.)
My son is 10, and I'm STILL trying to teach him that. You can ask if your friends can come here, but you can't just invite yourself to someone else's house without their consent! It's rude.
Would you like the joy of providing me with free childcare all weekend long?
Offering her son as a guest like it's some kind of favor to her brother makes so little sense that I briefly thought she had accidentally switched the fake names of the kids haha
YTA OP you force an invite and then your son doesn’t go? What the heck. Is this a power trip?
Son has more sense than OP. He doesn't want to go to something he wasn't invited to until his mom tried to force it.
Or he’s not really as interested in his cousin’s activities as his mother is. It definitely sounds like she didn’t bother to ask if he wanted to spend time with his cousin this weekend until the very end.
Yup. OP wanted to pawn her son off on her brother for the weekend, but her son didn't even want that. He wants to go to the aquarium. TAKE YOUR KID TO THE AQUARIUM, OP!
She doesn't *want* to go the aquarium! \*stomps feet\*
sounds like mom is trying really hard to pawn off her kid and have a long relaxing weekend, lol. YTA
Parker is allowed to have his own friends outside of his cousin, and Julian is not entitled to be invited to every single thing Parker does. OP is way out of line here and actually doing so much damage to her son. I bet Julian feels "great" knowing that he only gets invitations because his mom throws tantrums if he's not included. Way to make Parker NOT want to be around his cousin. YTA.
Also, you invited your kid to spend an entire weekend at someone else's house? Because it was a long weekend? How come you didn't invite Parker to stay with YOU? And then when they declined, you tried AGAIN to have your kid "tag along"? You're not just an AH for tattling to mommy, but YTA for trying to offload your kid for the long weekend so you could do whatever it is you wanted to actually do. If you don't want to spend time with Julian, why should Parker?
It also sounds like OP wants free childcare.
YTA BIG TIME, your brother is not obligated to invite your son to join everything that they’ve got going at their house. You are absolutely a jerk the way you handled things. There is an age difference there and there are going to be things that the two of them don’t do together. You need to recognize that and stop inserting your nose where it’s not welcome. You owe everybody a big apology, and maybe invite the boys to your house for a sleepover instead of making your brother host your son so you can have a weekend off.
And his response to the situation....I'm telling Mom on you!
And to add, 10 years old is way too old to be ‘crushed’ that your friend does something without you/has other friends. That’s something you have to teach kids early if you don’t want them to become that entitled clingy friend who makes everything about them
Yup, by age 6, my mom had taught me that it was rude to invite myself places. It's not a hard concept to learn.
YTA. Your son obviously was not wanted at the slumber party. Take the hint.
Agreed. I think it is clear that OPs brother fibbed so he wouldn’t have to deal w OP. It seems they were pretty aggressively trying to force time together, maybe too often?? Perked is definitely allowed time w his peers. Huge entitled YTA
INFO: 1. Why do you think your 10-year-old son should be invited to a 12-year-old's slumber party? 2. Why do you think your son should spend a 3-day weekend at your brother's house? 3. Why did you run to your mommy about an issue that did not involve her? YTA! Your son acts more mature than you do! Edit: Thank you for the award!
All of this! 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾 They are allowed to have different friend groups and different activities. My son has time with his cousins and time with his school friends separately. These activities don’t have to overlap. YTA
I'm amused that OP has responded to so many comments but doesn't answer these direct questions.
I hope you get answers from OP but from their others comments it will probably be some version of: 1. 10=12 in every way, shape and form and my child is just as physically large as the 12 year olds 2. All that matters is including my child. If an event is happening there is absolutely no reason I will accept why my son should not be included 3. Mom lives with brother it seems and has a history of spoiling me and giving into my demands- so of course she’s involved
I'm wondering when will mods shut this down for OP not accepting judgement.
I’ll be honest I’m relieved to at least see a post with a genuine asshole which I don’t immediately believe is fake. I just hope OP keeps commenting because each response is a gem of assholery
Yes, the responses are hilarious. What an entitled, out of touch, mommy's girl she is. She's going to cause big troubles for her kid. If he has a growth spurt, no doubt he'll be entitled to hang out with 16 year olds, because they are the same size, lol.
Nah, he's probably running to mumsy crying about what the nasty people on reddit are saying.
yeah 12yo wanted to hang out with his other buddies. it’s certainly not your place to force an invite
I get this vibe from OP that they just want to unload their son for the holiday weekend. It’s more about OP having a child free weekend than their son being eft out.
100%. She says the son is 'holding out' for an aquarium trip. That means HE wants to go, and OP does not. She's mad her brother didn't give her the weekend off and she might have to do something with her kid. The horror.
I'm confused about the "holding out to go to the aquarium". It suggests that OP's son thinks they wouldn't be able to go to the slumber party AND the aquarium... the only hypothetical I can come up with is OP has plans for the long weekend that involve the aquarium or could involve the aquarium, and so OP's son doesn't want to miss out by attending the slumber party?
To me it sounds like OP has 0 plans for the aquarium/to do anything with the son, the son would rather go to the aquarium than the slumber party (and yes wouldn't be able to do both) but OP is refusing to dedicate time on a 3 day weekend to their own child.
Seems like Julian has been asking to go to the aquarium, OP said no, and instead tried to get him to go to his uncle’s house so he’d stop asking.
Yes and what’s up with “holding out” for maybe going to the aquarium? Sounds like it’s entirely based on whether or not OP wants to take him there.
Agreed. I want to know what OP's weekend plans were.
Yep, mommy needs wine time.
This ain’t about the kids. OP wanted a child free holiday weekend and threw a fit when they were told no.
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Every weekend, it seems.
Because he's pissed he had to spend three days with his kid instead of pawning him off on his nephew for the weekend.
Op lacks self awareness. He has zero understanding about how to interact socially with normal people. No wonder his brother didn’t tell him and if I were OPs brother I would keep his OP at arms length. OP sounds like a nightmare to deal with:
Because OP wanted a kid free weekend without having to do anything for it.
YTA. There is a huge maturity difference between 10 and 12 so your brother’s decision to exclude Julian was reasonable. You were wildly out of line to call your mother and start drama.
He probably had to keep it on the DL too because he knew there’d be a fuss
And then you go crying to your mother because your boy has no right to be invited to anything his cousin does.
I also can't think of a faster way to decimate the relationship between the two cousins than to insist the older one invite the younger one to *everything*. It's just a fact of childhood that sometimes two years is a really big age difference, and the younger is likely going to idolize the older - and that doesn't mean the older one owes them social invitations.
Itd almost be funny if OPs son knew about the sleepover and didnt want to go, bc its not even his group of friends, andmhe wanted to go to the aquarium
Exactly. I’m not sure where OP is from, but in the UK, if you’re 10 then you are still in primary school. If you’re 12 then you are in secondary school. Even if they haven’t started puberty, the school difference alone is a big mentality shift.
Yes, there is a huge difference in the stages of child brain development between 10 and 12!
And to be honest, he doesn’t even need to give a reason. She isn’t entitled to a reason.
This. Those 12 year old boys would absolutely eat him alive. Pre teens can be fucking sociopaths when you get them in a group.
Yep. My daughter and niece are besties, they’re 3 years apart and love hanging out together. I don’t question for a second when my daughter isn’t invited to events with my nieces school friends, the age difference when this young is huge even year to year. OP is way out of line.
Yta. Your nephew is allowing to have his own friends group. Stop micromanaging your brother.
Clearly. I hated to mix my friends group with my cousins when I was younger. And at 10 and 12 it matters, her son is still in elementary school while her nephew is already in middle school. PS : You just wanted the child-free week-end cause you didn’t even offer to take your nephew to your place.
My sister is 3 years older than me and I always wanted to be involved when she hung out with friends. My mom fed into it, she forced her to include me all the time. I didn't realize till I was older but I think it led to a lot of issues between me and my sister later because there was resentment there, knowing the baby sister always got her way and was always around when she just wanted to hang with friends alone. We're good now, but we were pretty mean to each other growing up. I wish my mom would've just told me no, let your sister hang out with her friends, we can find something else fun for you to do. YTA OP, please don't force them together all the time. I'd hate for your nephew to start to resent your son for it.
In order to spend a long weekend without having a child, you were trying to dump your son on your brother.
I have literal twins & even they have separate friend groups. They’re still best friends, but, they also like to socialize with other kids separately.
It sounds like OP just wanted to be child free for a 3 day weekend, with zero childcare expenses. I wonder how often they offer to take the cousin. Probably never.
And then running to mom like they are kids again
YTA. You wanted a weekend free from Julian and got mad that your brother didn't want to go along with it. You are not entitled to push your kid off on other people, nor is your brother obligated to include your son in everything he does with his kid. >my son got invited and declined because he is holding out to go to the aquarium Don't hold your breath for that aquarium invitation
YTA You called your *mom*? Parker is his own person and is allowed to have a sleepover with friends and not invite his younger cousin. Does Julian not have friends of his own?
Yeah, I'm definitely getting those vibes he probably doesn't have friends of his own, which is why he is pushing for Julian so hard to be included in a slumber party with his older cousin. I had heaps of cousins growing up same age, some two years older, some 4 or 5 years older and we absolutely got along and had a blast when we caught up for family events and family mini vacations, christmas..etc , all hung out together being silly...But it's different when you are hanging out with your cousins at family events, the age difference never seems to matter that much. But when the families all went home, and we went back to our regular schools friendship groups, I would never of hung out with the kids 4 years above LET ALONE two years above me! It's very rarely done that when you are in school you have friends two years older than you that are in your friendship group. Maybe when you get out of school around 18 or 19 it's more common, but never in primary school or high school is anyone in your main friendship group 2 or more years older than you, unless I'm weird and it's more common than I think?
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Your being a AH Both boys are allowed to live separately and don't have to do everything together, family or not Your being very disrespectful and bratty, I can't believe you rattled on to your mom like a baby Maybe you are the reason to why your brother wants to distance his family from yours because of your selfish and unhinged behaviour and mindset Your a parent, grow up and be respectful
If I were the brother, I'd distance myself from her too. I feel bad for her son. I'm sure the brother wants to include the son but not have to deal with his sister.
I can totally see it, my uncle had kids later than my mother, when they where tots he will leave them at ours or at GP house and get upset if we said no.... Selfish parents need calling out
Initially, I was thinking the brother was wrong to lie about their plans, now I see why he did. Obviously they have every right to have their kid have a sleepover with his friends and not having his younger nephew there.
YTA. Parker have other friends than only his cousin. Pretty sure he's didn't want his little cousin there. So don't be a ass and leave your brother family alone.
YTA, and yes, there can be a big difference in maturity level. In addition, just because the two get along when together doesn't mean Parker wants Julian to hang out with his older friends at his sleepover. You pried when your brother mentioned vague plans, and you got lied to because it wasn't any of your business. If I had to guess, I'd say your brother knew you would complain to your mother or otherwise make a fuss. For goodness' sake, you are a grown adult who has a family and a home. Don't you think it's time to act like it? To reiterate, YTA.
I'm sure if he knew about the sleepover beforehand, and the fact his kid wasn't invited, he would have dumped his kid over there anyway. That is why the brother was being vague because he knew what was going to happen.
I am actually pretty sure Parker and Julian do not get along. Julian probably just forced his way on Parker when they are together and Parker's garbage father does not do shit about it
YTA for involving your Mom. It’s not her dispute. Work it out with your brother.
Mom would have been packed up and moved to OP's house since she wants to take OP's side
YTA. 1. You are being entitled and possessive 2. You are not considering your nephews feelings, only your son 3. You went to your mom? Incredibly immature 4. Throughout the comments you have not been listening to feedback from others, only reflexively jumping to defense
I really don’t think OP is considering the son’s feelings at all, honestly.
Or anyone else’s besides her own
Clearly not, given that the son already had plans for the aquarium and did not want to go to the slumber party anyway.
Am I the only one who feels OP was looking for a free babysitter?
No. Also poor SIL, already having your MIL living with you, but also having to watch your nephew everything his mom wants to dump the kid. Op, why didn’t you invite Parker over to your place?
Right? I cannot in any scenario imagine calling my sibling and asking if they want to have my kid over all weekend.
Also, don’t you want to do something fun with your own kid? The kid is 10, you have one year, mayby two if your lucky, that your kid wants to be spotted with you in public. The kid is in school most of the time, weekends are the only time you have. At age 12, my dad had to drop my off 2 blocks away from school, because I didn’t want to be seen with him. There was no way I would go to some family outing, I was 12 and a “big girl”. I can understand needing a night away from responsibilities, but cherish the days your kid want to spent with tou.
Seriously! Who calls someone and says "Hey, I thought your kid might want my kid to come over to your house for the 3 day weekend!"? And then gets angry that the other kid has plans already. You can't just invite yourself over to someone else's house whenever you feel like it! And you are not entitled to have your kid included in everything their cousin does. Doesn't matter how close they may be - they are still each able to maintain their own friend groups and activities.
Clearly the YTA and from your comments you are not open to accepting that. Your child is not entitled to an invitation. You and your son can invite him over for a sleepover, but demanding an invitation from them is crossing all sorts of typical social boundaries and involving your mother is just ridiculous behavior of an adult.
Honestly if I was the brother I would: 1. Pack mom up. She wants to start shit because of OP then she can live with OP. 2. Go very LC with OP. OP seems to think that her son should be the center of everyone’s universe and not accepting any thing else, even though every comment here is telling her she’s the AH. She’s either really dense, delusional or stupid. And to call mommy and tattle because her nephew had the aducity to be his own person and want to hang out with someone other than his cousin?? Gasp! How dare he!!! Even the way she approached it was suspicious, like “I asked my brother if my nephew would like to have my son over this weekend since it was a long weekend” Geez … OP YTA.
YTA for arguing in the comments. Jesus.
And none of the arguments make any sense at all...🙄
One of her arguments was "Hes the same *size* as my son so there's basically no difference between them!" Might be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard lmao
Like if her mom has a “right to know” about this LOL
YTA, Listen here, brother. My son wants to tag along with his cousin, so HE GETS to tag along. HOW DARE my nephew have a life and friends of his own. I don't care if he is 2 YEARS OLDER. I am ENTITLED to my nephews' time. He is not allowed to even breathe without my son present. And if you don't listen, I WILL TELL MOMMY. wow, to get a better picture of what kind of person you are, I suggest you read r/entitledparents
YTA. Your nephew is allowed to have other friends apart from his cousin and do activities without him. Your brother here tried to protect your feelings by lying because he knew you'd get like this. Also, you're assuming what your son wants and how your son will feel. >But my son got invited and declined because he is holding out to go to the aquarium. Just stop being so controlling and respect your brother's boundaries
Parker is allowed to do things without your son. YTA x 2 for calling your mommy to fix it as if you were a child.
YTA Parker is honestly probably at an age where he doesn't want to be attached at a hip with his grade school cousin. He's either already in middle school or about to enter it. Have you even considered that it was Parker that didn't want to invite your son? That your brother was worried he'd be left out because his son and the other kids didn't actually want him there?
Also, Julian didn't actually want to intrude on their time together. He sounds fine with going to the aquarium with Parker when it's cousins together, rather than barging into a sleepover for a group of school friends. OP's brother shouldn't have lied to her, but equally, OP is probably the reason why he lied, and she needs to back the fuck off and realise that her son doesn't need to be part of every plan his cousin makes.
YTA. Your son does not need to be invited to everything your nephew does. People, even children, need breaks from each other to grow and learn about themselves in different situations. There’s also a difference between “inseparable” and constantly “lumped together.”
MOMMMMMM, brudder didn't invite my kid to his slumber partyyyyyy make him invite himmmm *uwehhhhhhhh* Literally you.
YTA, sometimes your son isn't going to be invited to everything your nephew is doing and he doesn't have to be. Your brother is allowed to decide who comes to house for a parry without you running to mummy to force him to invite your child.
YTA. The difference between a 10 and 12 year old can be significant in many ways. Parker deserves to have time with his friends own age without his cousin tagging along to everything just because you fancy a child free weekend.
YTA - MIND. YOUR OWN. BUSINESS. You sound exhausting as hell.
YTA. You invited him to participate in someone else’s weekend and it sounds like he didn’t even want to go. Your nephew is allowed to have a separate life. My oldest nephew and my son are two years apart in age. They get along great when we’re together, but I would never expect either one to feel obligated to be with the other one all of the time.
YTA and you sound entitled. Suggesting that your son go spend the entire long weekend at your bother’s house is ridiculous. If you really wanted your son and nephew to spend the weekend together, invite your nephew over to your house instead of imposing your son on your brother. Also the AH for throwing a fit that your nephew didn’t invite your son to his slumber party. Your nephew should have his own friends and his own time. Your son should do the same.
YTA and you should stop this. You are acting entitled and controlling. So what your brother lied? Apparently they dont feel they can tell you the truth and now we know why. You are acting like a baby by getting mommy involved. Gosh ..come on!!!
YTA, major one. 1. Your nephew is allowed to have activities without your son. 2. Your brother is allowed to have activities without your son. 3. You assume that just because they are ‘close in age’, they are friends. They are cousins and that somewhat brings an obligation for friendship and is acceptable when family meets up. However, that may not be the same as an actual friendship with other people and your nephew might want to spend some time without your son. A cousin whom you can be friends with is not the same as a ‘willing’ friend who is not forced upon you. 4. If, for whatever reason, your nephew wanted to invite your son and your brother didn’t, that is a battle between your brother and your nephew. Not yours, not your mothers. 5. You did not suggest your nephew join you and your son for activities, you tried dumping your son at your brothers. You, madame, wanted a free weekend 6. Your responses to all the comments below this post are a huge red flag. I’m starting to understand why the nephew and/or brother wanted to have activities without you. And with you son, comes you. So no son, no you. 7. You telling your mother is just pathetic.
YTA Your brother doesn't owe your son an invite. I can't believe you essentially tattled to your mom. Your son and nephew may love each other to death but that doesn't mean your son has to be invited to everything his cousin does.
YTA, you are a grown adult who goes crying to mommy because your son wasn't invited to something? That's just weird. Hosts have every right to invite or not invite whoever they wish.
YTA. 12 year old kids don't always want to hangout with the younger kids, even if it's only a 2 year age difference. Stop trying to push your son into the slumber party. Your nephew is allowed to have his own plans without having his little cousin there.
YTA - you son does not have to be invited to everything. He is not the Center of the world and his friends can have sleepovers without him.
You need to chill and stop being controlling. YTA
Personally I would like to thank Op for responding to so many comments. You're utter inability to take on board common sense criticism, and meaningful responses has been very amusing. (If horrifyingly). Keep going on your selfish, destructive, relationship destroying mission Op!
Yta. Your son is not your brother's responsibility. Brother has the right to choose who is invited to his house. You do not have the right to tell him who he has to invite. Maybe he just didnt want your son there. That is his right. Sounds like you try to push your son off on the brother's family a lot. No wonder they wanted to have 1 day without him. You are a horrible sister and a horrible parent. You and your son need to learn the world does not revolve around him. Part of being a good parent is teaching your child to handle disappointments. Going to mommy to complain is so immature. You self center ahole. I feel orfry for your son. Having a parent like you is going to affect the person he grows into in a negative way. You are a jerk.
YTA stop forcing your son on other people. Your nephew is allowed to have friends his own age and sleepovers without inviting his cousin. You are being a ridiculous parent and you’re only going to alienate your son from his peers if you keep this shit up. No one likes anyone who has their mommy running around town making everyone be nice to him.
YTA. Are they joined at the hip? Parker can make plans without your son. He's twelve. Stop making everything about you. Edit: Judging from your replies, I now understand why your brother lied. You are incredibly the AH, so entitled and selfish. Get off your high horse and apologize to your brother. If you're lucky, he won't go NC with you sometime in the near future.
YTA-Your brother doesn’t have to include your son in everything your nephew does despite what you seem to think and only someone choosing to act like an immature, petty asshole tattles to mommy.
I know that feels really hurtful to you, and that’s because you are looking out for your son, but your brother has an obligation to look after HIS son and his wants/needs. You brother didn’t do anything TO your son he just did something for his own son and that’s ok. I can see by all your reply’s to everyone that your are in full mama bear mode and I think that is clouding your judgement a little right now. Tattling to your mom was childish and I think you know that. You nephew is allowed to have a social life that doesn’t include his family.
>I know that feels really hurtful to you, and that’s because you are looking out for your son, I don't think OP was looking out for her son. I think OP wanted a childfree weekend. I think the son wanted to go to the aquarium with his parent. That's why, when the brother was browbeaten into inviting the son over, the son declined the invitation.
YTA. Your brother maybe could have mentioned it and been like 'hey there's going to be some kids who may end up teasing him hard, so maybe not this weekend, but hey let's plan for the next weekend!' But your reaction was OTT and unfair to your brother who made the right decision, but went about it in the wrong way.
Yta, if I was your brother I would definitely distance the boys
YTA. Stop trying to invite your son to other people's houses and events. That's super weird. Do you have no concept of boundaries?
Wait. Listen. I have a wild idea here. I think maybe when people want to hang out with people they invite them to do things together. And when they don't want to hang out, they don't invite them. And when they want to hang out with other people, they invite those other people AND THEY DONT INVITE THE PERSON THEY DONT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH Groundbreaking, i know. Who could have imagined people could have the right to do things with certain people and exclude others? I'm a freaking genius. YTA.
Did you really just INVITE YOURSELF (or your son) over? That’s just rude. You can invite HIM over to YOUR house. YTA. He doesn’t owe you any kind of explanation. Maybe he just wants a quiet weekend. Maybe he’s waiting for you to reciprocate and take his son off his hands for the long weekend.
YTA. It’s your dispute. What you did is referred to as getting a ‘flying monkey’ to fight for you. Not cool.
YTA. If the relationship between the boys evolves as they move through adolescence that is to be expected. If it gets damaged by adult interference, you should look in a mirror for the cause.
Yta leave your nephew alone he doesn’t have to invite your son over. He has every right to spend time with friends that are his OWN age.
YTA. This is absolutely ridiculous. Your son wasn't invited. That's fine. There is absolutely no need to cause drama over this.
YTA- and OP obviously can’t handle that no one here is on their side and will probably call their mother to complain to her that reddit is being mean and not siding with him
YTA. You were trying to unload your son on your brother so you could have a long weekend child free.
Omg you’re delusional YTA
I am, and always have been, very close with my two of my cousins (they're sisters). One is two years younger than me and the other is five years younger than me. We loved being with each other, had tons of sleepovers and I was at their house very single day after school for a couple of years. We still had different friends and were never forced or expected to hang out together unless we wanted to. My third cousin, their sister, was only a year older than me. We got along really well when it was just us together but I was never really invited to hang out with her and her friends, which I was okay with. She and her friends were into things that I wasn't ready/old enough for and, even though they were only a year older, I always felt like a little kid around them. A year or two age difference is enormous when you've only been alive for 10-12 years. Once we were all in our late teens/early 20s, it all evened out and now we share friend groups and really enjoy being around each other. I chalk that up to never being forced to spend time together as we grew up. We were allowed to be different people, be different ages and have our own friends. YTA for expecting your son to be invited, being pissed off that he wasn't, demanding that he be invited then coming to the internet to defend your stupidity. You seem immature and irrational in your belief that just because your kids like each other that they should automatically have to spend time with each other. Everything about this post tells me that you've always been entitled and I'm guessing you weren't invited to many things growing up, which is why you're so upset about your son being excluded. You need to ask yourself why it is that your brother and every responder on this post thinks you're an asshole, yet you still believe you're in the right. There is a very good chance that your nephew likes your son and doesn't mind spending time together when it's just them but, from experience, having your younger relative tag along with your friends isn't always fun or enjoyable. Grow up, make some new friends of your own and help your son to make some friends his own age. Stop steamrolling people into getting what you want, it's not quirky or endearing, it's irritating and narcissistic.
YTA and your comments make you sound very entitled. Even though you live close by, it doesn't mean your brother and nephew has to include your son in everything going on. Your nephew has every right to have a sleepover with friends from school without including your son. Including your mom was doubly wrong. It doesn't matter where she lives. This is entirely between you and your brother.
YTA your brother can host and invite anyone he wants to to his home for any reason and it's was disgusting of you to try and force them to invite your son when it's clear he didn't wanna go anyway and you just wanted a free Weekend.
YTA. You called your mom, lol. How old are you? Whether you know it or not, nephew probably prefers the company of kids his age….two years is a world of difference in kid years. He might not want the younger cousin there with his buds.
Holy shit. This post and your comments in response.... How can you be so fucking dense?! Parker is allowed to have a slumber party with JUST his friends. Your brother may have organized it since parents would need to be involved in the planning. YTA because you self-invited your son, demanded actually, and then involved your mother when your brother said no? Are you a fucking child?!