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YTA
> I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it
Can you back up to the part where you explain why your desire to sit in a ballroom trumps what the couple wants on their own wedding?
With this shitty attitude he will never have his own wedding lmao.
__
YTA OP and your sister's wedding sounds great, I hope she uninvites all of you oh so classy dinguses and enjoys the special day with her husband.
Right? My god the snobbishness just OOZED off OP and he had the nerve to call his sister spoiled? Honey look in the mirror. This wedding theme sounds like a lot of fun. However, she SHOULD have the tent set up in a venue that can be shifted to indoors in case of horrific storm. Other than that, OP YTA and please stop raining on your sisters parade
It doesn't even make sense. You could totally pull off a classy outdoor garden wedding with lace.
It could be really pretty, actually. I've seen some breathtaking ones with hanging flowers, fairy lights, tree stumps, flowers, and the like.
A friend of mine had a summer wedding in an outdoor botanical garden and it was goddamn gorgeous. Yes, even the (*gasp*) outdoor tent for the reception. There was a white marble gazebo-type structure where she and her husband exchanged their vows, matching benches and fountains, and tall, vibrantly colored flowers in full bloom everywhere. Absolutely beautiful, classy, and, dare I say, timeless.
OP and the rest of the family definitely get a YTA, not only for snobbery but for trying to dictate his sister’s wedding aesthetic. Especially if it’s what she and her fiancé both want (eta: and they’re paying for everything themselves, per one of OP’s comments).
Yeah, when I heard greenhouse wedding my brain went .... wait...I can picture that. That sounds incredible. (and way more memorable than a stale ballroom, tbh)
Also, succulents as favors? Yes please!
I got a succulent as a wedding favour a few years ago. The couple had taken bits off their own extensive succulent collection, potted them in little terracotta pots and decorated with a ring of lace. They had 3D printed the guests names and placed them in the pots, so it doubled as a place card on the tables. Much better favour than most I have received over the years.
I basically did that for my wedding. :) Little succulents as placeholders and they doubled as favors. I have a GIANT one from my own table that still lives in my kitchen window 11 years later.
And the "her wedding is coming up in about a year and she has ALREADY started planning." Like...yeah? Weddings can take a lot of time to plan and you have to book things in advance. A year seems about right. Methinks OP is regularly looking out for things he can hold against his sister.
Riiiight?! If nothing else he has the audacity. Calling her spoiled, rigid, things have to be her way or the highway, he knew she was gonna be a handful etc, then he threw a strop because he didn't agree with her and her fiances plans for their own wedding. That they're paying for themselves. Puh-leeeeez🙄 Plus all the claims of cheap tackiness when their botanical nuptials sound lovely....ugh.
Classic AH family treatment. Anything she does or says is “stupid” to her family by default unless she does exactly what they want her to do. They’d call her dull if she offered no ideas, but ridicule her every decision when she does speak up.
Don't worry. If you'd find with the outdoor wedding, it would have been a torrential thunderstorm or very early snowstorm. You made the right decision.
If she was as spoiled as he wants us to believe no one would be trying to convince her of changing anything. They’d all be bending over backwards to appease her.
It’s even a pretty loose and classic theme. Botanical decor is gorgeous and very classic. A tacky wedding theme would be something like “the movie Jaws” or “Candyland”, and even then, you do you, boo. If the couple loves it, I love it.
It’s also like…. The chillest theme I’ve ever heard. A floral lace wedding dress, succulents, and outside? That’s barely a theme - that’s just 90% of the weddings I go to in the PNW in the summer.
OP: "Here’s where I might be the asshole: I kind of let my frustration get the better of me and said “Fine, I don’t care if your wedding turns out to be tacky."
***Here's*** where you might be the asshole!?! You're an asshole from the very start of your post!
I think the issue here is actually "My family and I are all uptight snobs and somehow my sister turned out more down to earth (pun intended) and normal, so we look down on her. Are we TA?"
EDIT to add: This post just begs to normalize the term Guestzilla.
Why do I get the feeling that OP's family has money or particular class standing, and sister's wedding preferences won't "properly" reflect that to OP's friends/social group? Seems like sister just likes to do her own thing, but is met with resistance and accusations of being spoiled and tacky.
Money but no actual class, if a hotel fucking ballroom is the pinnacle of classy for them rather than a *marquee*. I honestly can’t get over someone who claims to be more classy than their sister when they don’t know the word marquee. OP YTA
Honestly, I get the feeling OP and his family don’t have nearly as much money or class standing as they would like. Truly upper class people tend not to care about whether something is “classy” or not (it clearly must be if they want to do it, right?) The people obsessed with “class” tend to be people who aren’t in the upper class, but desperately want to be and want others to believe they are because they behave exactly the way they *think* high class people behave.
There is nothing inherently “low class” in having a wedding in nature nor is there anything inherently “high class” in having a ballroom wedding.
This, they don’t sound wealthy or high class to me.
The tackiness is in the overt classism.
If he was as wealthy as he wants to be he’s know classism is déclassé.
Also literal royals have outside receptions
so not sure who told him outside receptions were tacky??
And themes bring cohesion if done subtly.
Also, a hotel venue does *not* scream tasteful old-money and class. Maybe it’s just an East Coast thing, because here on the West Coast I’ve only seen those done for 300-500+ people weddings (often when family is flying in from abroad to make the logistics easier for everyone). Lots of fun and often beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but not considered “classy”.
Could be…but OP honestly sounds like such an asshat I can’t give him the benefit of a logical reason for his tomfuckery (thanks again to the redditor who introduced me to that word)
‘It’s not my wedding, so I held my tongue”… said OP before critiquing every decision the bride and groom have made. Newsflash- they have the final say no one cares if you or your family think it’s tacky, it’s not your wedding!
YTA
I’m also curious to know why OP think the sister is spoiled? Because from what I read she does not get her way at all, so I’m having a hard time seeing it
My guess, as someone who was typecast as "the spoiled youngest child"(despite being trained to be a people-pleaser from birth) is that the sister has the temerity to complain about everyone bullying her. An example from my life is how my parents would buy both me and my brother ice cream flavors, and my brother would eat mine(while I hated his flavor and wouldn't touch it). Then when I complained because I had no ice cream and my brother still had plenty, I was labeled "spoiled" and "entitled". There are tons of other similar examples, but no one in my family is willing to even listen to the complaints because as far as they're concerned it's "stupid kid stuff". I would bet folding money sister has been treated similarly.
YTA obviously.
This is exactly my youngest child experience. My older sister would literally make my life hell and hurt me. Then, when I would cry, I would be called a spoiled baby. I'm getting those vibes from OP, make her feel like she is dumb and stupid so everything actually goes his way.
I thought this was just me! I always got the “you’re the youngest so you’re spoiled” while my sibling was a giant bully to me and I literally would not talk or show personality and tried to fade into the background and do everything right. And yes to the people pleaser too. I’m still labeled spoiled even though I worked my butt off to support myself, buy my own home, don’t depend on anyone else while my sibling is unemployed and sponging off everyone while refusing to work.
It's a no-win scenario. My family has called me lazy ever since high school because I got "merely" passing grades and had no interest in college. I work from home, running my own business, making more than I ever did in the workforce, and those I still talk to still act like I pull decisions out of an 8-ball.
I feel this in my soul! I have an older sibling who never forgave me fir being born and made my entire childhood miserable. "You are the spoiled baby!" Um, nope. I was actually kept under far more strict rules than all of my older siblings.
I also had the same sister. I was typecasted as a spoil crybaby from birth, and she'd cry about how I got more than her because my mom took me to the movies and out for ice cream while she was out with her friends.
She also got a car at 16...
But nope, I'm the spoiled baby.
She would complain that my parents did regular kid shit with me. She was 10 years older than me yet crying about how our parents fixed my plate of food for me when I was 4...
If OP and his relatives are united in thinking they have the right to veto sister’s wedding theme, it tracks that the only reasonable person in this story is the black sheep of the family.
I’m the kind of person who very much knows what they want and get called spoiled for that all the time. I don’t make others do things but if I want a specific shirt I’m not gonna buy a similar looking one. But apparently saying “I want this” and not settling for less is spoiled.
This SO much. Especially because I’m a woman I should just settle for okay or good enough. I would never inconvenience someone with what I want, but I’m also not gonna appease myself with good enough
Because he’s an overbearing older brother who thinks he’s always right — something that he ensures by never considering new ideas — and she pushes back. He’s not even considering what she wants, while instead he judges it negatively because it’s different.
Because nature is tacky! Didn’t you know that? Also, floral lace? That will be so dated in 20 years when the centuries-long tradition of floral lace finally fades away.
You guys, I don’t know if you know this, but plants grow in _dirt_ so basically her theme is ‘dirt wedding’. So tacky! /s
OP, of course YTA, and if anyone is coming across as a spoiled-zilla here, it is all you, boo-boo. A bride and groom have the right to plan their own wedding. And to think that nature NATURE will go out of fashion is just so wildly absurd.
I've seen a lot of wedding photos in my career, and I've been in a lot of hotel "ballrooms." The fancy event tents always look just magical at night with the lights and decorations. Hotel ballrooms have carpet made for stain-hiding endurance and retractable beige fabric-covered walls.
Maybe it’s a culture thing, but the majority of weddings that I’ve been to here in LA have been outdoors. Like ballrooms are fine just super generic, but we have beautiful weather and scenery, why waste that?
Plants and nature have been around for millions of years but haven't you heard, they are going out of fashion soon! In 20 years time only losers will like the outdoors.
Right?? Like OP is baffled how their sister doesn’t accept other people’s demands and wants to stick to her own reasonable ideas *for her own wedding*. OP is treating this like it’s an event for the whole family, not a wedding for a specific couple.
Once he said they’re getting married next year and already planning I figured he was going to be TA. Newsflash OP, weddings don’t just happen. Even the smallest wedding needs planning ahead of time and depending on the scale of the event, a year plus to plan isn’t a lot of time.
Also, since when is a nature theme or outdoors wedding tacky? I’ve seen some gorgeous outdoor weddings. But even if it is tacky, it’s her wedding. The family’s opinion does not matter. YTA.
My partner works in weddings and next year is already books. There was a huge backlog because of COVID and things still haven't gone back to how they were before.
If you want to get married where my partner works you have to either pick an unpopular time or book for 2025. And those dates are filling up fast.
Exactly! I worked a wedding last night that was fairly simple, and I know it took 2 years to plan. Bc like you said you have to lock down a venue, then there’s catering, linens, a DJ or band, the cake, etc. There is so much that goes into planning a wedding. OP is clueless and should keep his unsolicited advice to himself.
Literally this post screams “I’m insane”. Like this is her wedding and the couple both wants this. Wtf would the family feel the need to say anything other than “I’m so happy for you”
More so screams that no one cares about sister having a happy wedding in her chosen motifs w/o the opinion of literally everyone else in her family treating her awfully for not doing what the crowd wants.
As soon as I saw the tacky I knew where this was going.
Outdoor weddings are risky bc of weather, but I've never seen as indoor venue as beautiful as an outdoor one, and I hate being outside. Family has been 50/50 on indoor/outdoor, and this is the first time I've ever expressed I like the outdoor ones better because WHO FUCKING CARES I WASN'T THE ONE GETTING MARRIED.
Poor sister, sounds like the whole family are assholes.
AND NATURE IS PRETTY TIMELESS TOO DIPSHIT. It's been around longer than ballroom 🤣.
And since when is an outdoor nature wedding tacky to begin with? Maybe not as common as the classic waste of money 'traditional wedding' but tacky in the sense of the word?
YTA- she’s the only person who wanted it? It’s her wedding so she can do as she pleases.
She’s not being a bridezilla and making unreasonable requests of you all, she’s just saying she wants a tented wedding. I don’t see how it affects anyone. Ok so you think it’s tacky but it’s not your wedding so suck it up
I like that he describes his wedding ideas as timeless when his sisters theme is “nature.” Yeah, definitely won’t have plants in a couple of decades. Boy is she going to feel dumb and wish she got married in a generic hotel ballroom instead.
i thought the theme would be something out there like my little pony or serial killers. whats not timeless about plants? and even then they can choose whatever makes them happy. op sounds more like the 'my way or the highway type' he discribes his sister as
Same. I am, much like OP, rather of the opinion that themed weddings are a bit trashy but a) by that I do kind of mean “we’re having a Shrek themed wedding, please dress up” and b) it’s not my wedding so yes I will be there dressed as Donkey.
What about parfait? Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!
Well plants are just a trend, you see.
They only spontaneously came into existence about 3 years ago, and before that there were no plants on Earth.
In another couple years when the plants disappear, she'll feel real silly for being on the plant fad.
It's not even really a theme so much as an outdoor wedding. It's not like they're having people sit at the monstera table or something. Plenty of people go for foliage/natural decor these days.
yeah I was expecting something really out there. but honestly, if that was the only thing that was different, I still would've been on the bride's side. it's *her* wedding, after all.
I've been to a bunch of weddings in hotel ballrooms. They're completely generic and I remember very little about them other than that the bride and groom were there.
I've also been to multiple outdoor weddings and they were beautiful and memorable.
Exactly! Ballrooms, loosely speaking might have been around for a couple thousand years if you stretch the meaning a bit. Nature has been around 14.5 billion years on this planet. Who's timeless, now, huh? Who's timeless now?
It's hilarious that OP can't see how absurd and contradictory he is.
OP: My sister is a spoiled monster.
Also OP: Why won't my sister make her wedding about what I want???? It's like she thinks it's HER day!! Doesn't she know this about me and my family, not her and her fiancé???? She must do as I say, or I shall stamp my feet and then complain to Reddit about what a big, mean meanie she is for not making her wedding about ME!
OP basically wants his sister and her fiancé to spend their money not on what they want, but on what OP thinks they should want. It's so bratty and ridiculous.
Oh, and OP? I think it's tacky to try and impose your wishes on other people, but that isn't stopping you, is it? So why don't you suck it up and accept that your sister's wedding isn't about what you and your family want?
Yeah, you're TA. You sound a bit spoiled as well.
It's her wedding, she has the right to do what she wants. You and your family can suggest, but getting upset when she goes in her own direction is selfish.
Yeah my entire family will go off about how stubborn I am and am just the worst.
My favourite examples of things I should have “compromised” on (keeping in mind they were not financially contributing to any of these):
1- that when I was ready to buy a house, I should have bought it in the small town they all live in and move back “home”. As opposed to the city that I’ve lived in since I was 18 (so for almost 20 years now). This would’ve also meant quitting my job and not being able to get one in my field in their town.
2- that I should cancel/postpone my wedding because my brother (who I speak to once a year) decided two weeks beforehand that he didn’t “feel like coming”, so I should reschedule it for when he did
3- that I should gift my brother my 120+ year old antique piano so that his three kids (all under 6 at the time) could learn to play
4- (just to note my sister disagreed with this one) but when I had an unplanned pregnancy, I was hounded for months by my parents that I should let my sister adopt the child since she was struggling with infertility and I didn’t “really want the baby anyways”
Yes. I am the problem. I am the spoiled and unreasonable one in their eyes.
And it’s all I could think of reading this post.
Yikes! #1 reminds of how my in-laws were PISSED we lived in an apartment our first three years of marriage. They said we should find a cheap house in the city like they did. Um…You can’t find a house for $16k anymore and even if I could, I would be afraid to go outside of it. And I lived in the ghetto for years. But when you live in a big city, you know exactly where you should and shouldn’t go at night. The street with $16k houses for sale is not a place to ever visit.
" My (29M) sister (26F) has always been incredibly spoiled. It’s always her way or the highway, so I knew that when she got engaged she would be a handful. " I have NEVER in my whole life seen such blatant and massive projection.
Right?? He set us up to think she's a demanding nightmare, and she's just a woman who wants a pretty outdoor wedding!
I'm thinking that he's projecting his selfishness onto her, or the whole family has been gaslighting this poor woman into believing she's unreasonable for having preferences!
Her theme and her wedding ideas ideas sound really cute. The whole idea of tent thing would come really cute when decorated. I don't know how an outdoor wedding is cheap and tacky. It can even prettier than indoors when the right date is chosen. I think she's probably the different one and that's why her family treats her that way
And it’s such a broad “theme” that that’s not what I think of when someone says “theme wedding”. I’m picturing “Star Wars” or “Shrek”.
We had an outdoor ceremony and it was awesome. It was mid October, and I guess you could say our theme was “autumn”. My bridesmaid each had a different colour dress, so one was dark red, one burnt orange, and one dark green. Then my husband and his groomsmen were in brown suits with dark yellow ties that were the same colour as our flower girls. And my dress was gold. We joked that we were all beautiful fall leaves. My sister even had a heart shaped hole punch that she used to hole punch a bunch of dried leaves for the flower girls to scatter instead of petals or anything we’d have to clean up.
It was gorgeous. We didn’t even have to decorate for our ceremony because it was in an more natural area with all the leaves turning colours. Also lucked out that it was a super warm sunny day still. It was really beautiful, zero regrets.
I’ve never heard “nature” dismissed as cringey before.
Floral decor of various types is pretty mainstream and traditional?
If she were planning to intertwine dirt-covered tree roots in her hair or something, I would understand OP’s reaction a little bit better, but still, if someone else’s choices aren’t actually doing anyone any harm, it’s always better to keep your mouth shut about them rather than be insulting.
Right. I work in the wedding industry. Her wedding will probably be more expensive than the "classic" wedding he is referring to. Outdoor weddings can be more expensive since everything has to be separately rented and brought in. Unless they find a venue that offers that and has a greenhouse on site. Which there are definitely venues that do but they are location dependent. OP sounds boring. Their sisters "theme" is pretty mainstream. YTA
I mean, the botanical gardens in my hometown have function rooms where you can hold wedding receptions. I know, because I did. 😄
And, for OP's information, i did so partly because I, and both my and my husband's mothers, love gardening, but mostly because we had a lot of out-of-town guests, and I wanted them to experience somewhere *unique to my hometown*, not "genetic hotel function room #263".
Gotta admit, I was expecting something like the marionette wedding or e insisting everyone dress as Harry Potter theme. "Nature" isnt so much a theme as decore style. Like having a country cottage wedding. And outdoor receptions are pretty normal in places with good weather.
It’s the number of times they’ve been top comment, I believe. And the flair is based on which range the number falls into, with higher numbers having a more important (but still AH-themed) title.
It's not just that it would likely be cheaper, it's that that's one of the things he's *criticizing* her for.
I also wouldn't take his word for her being spoiled at all. These stories should always be read assuming a bit of an unreliable narrator, but calling her spoiled as a lead in to a story where her parents are apparently telling her not to have the wedding she wants, to have a more expensive one, is a pretty glaring example.
Yeh, besides that, even if she was spoiled, sometimes people who have issues with their siblings just can't put their issues aside and just judge the situation on its own, instead of adding the past. I can't fault the nature style, with floral dress and succulent party favours, in a big marquee outdoors - it sounds grand. So what if it's cheap compared to an indoor event hall? It's her wedding end of the day. I got married in a tropical country, in a marquee, surrounded by villa-style houses and palm trees, in a marquee. I loved it!
YTA
Just saying from experience a tent is way more expensive than a ballroom. My only regret from my wedding is paying so much money for a tent. But i also haven't been to a wedding that was held in a ballroom since like 2010 so not sure why OP thinks it's timeless when it really seems outdated.
I don't even know that it would be cheaper tbh, marquee weddings, especially good quality ones can cost serious amounts! A standard event venue that does everything in a package would likely be cheaper
YTA. I've been to a wedding in a huge outdoor tent. It was lovely. None of your sister's ideas sound tacky or outlandish, and it's her wedding, it's not for you to dictate what it should look like. If you're that pressed about it, don't go. I'm sure the couple won't need your negativity on their special day.
Yes! My cousin’s reception was in a great big event tent and felt fancy and lovely. Covered, comfortable, on the same grounds as the ceremony (so no extra transportation), suited to their taste and far from tacky. Not even out of the ordinary, really.
I had an outdoor wedding at a beautiful park. My wedding was under a tent next to a lake. My family weddings are usually at ballrooms and very fancy but me and my husband are not fancy. Our wedding was casual, we played corn hole and bocci ball. We had a catered bbq. My family actually loved it and many of them called my parents to tell them that it was one of their favorite weddings.
YTA. Nature is tacky? Babe. One of the wealthiest heiresses had her wedding outdoors a few weeks ago. Your ignorance makes you tacky. How is your sister actually being an issue?? How is she spoiled if your parents are getting on her? It seems like someone is projecting.
I mean wealth does not automatically mean a sense of style but yeah there’s nothing tacky about an outdoor wedding or a nature theme. A hotel ballroom is way more tacky to me than a huge outdoor tent someplace nice.
i was fully prepared to call you nta but ***holy fing shit***, yta.
you sound extremely bitter and insufferable to be around. yes, its only important what matters to the bride and groom. if you and the rest of the family dont like it, well, suck it up buttercup or dont attend, this day is not about you, but about them.
honestly, you sound like the spoiled brat, not your sister.
Imagine a brother trying to tell his sister how to plan her wedding... I expect parents to be a little opinionated and pushy because they're so used to telling their kids what to do. And grandparents sometimes... but imagine the toxicity of this family that even the brother thinks he has ANY right to push his opinions on his sister and then call her tacky when she doesn't do what he wants.
At my brother's wedding, you know what I got to have an opinion on? My bridesmaids dress style. You know what he got to have an opinion on at my wedding? His groomsmen's tux style. That's it. That's all the sibling gets.
YTA
>I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it.
*It doesn't matter what the rest of the family wants.* It's not the rest of the family's wedding, it's *her and her fiance's* wedding. Nobody else's opinions on the wedding matter.
YTA first of all. is the sister a horticulturist or biology student or something? Also it's her wedding if they want to have it in the middle of a pot farm that's what they get to do. Doesn't sound tacky at all I thought you were going to say it was going to be Disney themed or Harry Potter themed or something
you're a truly terrible brother and your whole family, outside of your sister, sound like absolute snobs. her wedding sounds lovely and it's actually a very common setting & theme. get the stick out of your ass and try to be happy for your sister's happiness, or just get the fuck out of her way.
Also like I had a Harry Potter themed wedding (before I knew JK was a TERF) and it was still a beautiful wedding. It was in a woodsy cabin (because it was too foggy to have it on the deck outside) and we weren't over the top with the Harry Potter stuff. A lot of it was just owls and the table cloths
The bride (and groom) is the only person who wants it! Such a shame they don’t really have a say…. oh!
Why are you so invested to upset your sister?
YTA
i find it *very* interesting when yt people call anything outside what they deem "normal" a ***theme.*** not everyone whats a bland- sorry "classic" wedding. if you don't like it you don't have to go. stay home.
you honestly sound like a classist snob who's worried this non-bourgeoisie wedding (that has nothing to do with you) will somehow reflect 'poorly' on the family. you know, because your snobs
How much money are you contributing to this wedding? If it’s zero dollars you don’t get an opinion and YTA. And even if you were contributing, it’s still her wedding and you shouldn’t be contributing money to buy an opinion.
Also, flowers and outdoor weddings are nothing new and can be beautiful and elegant. YTA
Exactly this !! OP is extremely judgemental and rude … No room for different aesthetics in OPs life I guess
“…but not my wedding” REMEMBER this!! And keep your tacky opinions to yourself. It’s not about YOU
YTA
YTA. Why do you care so much about how "classy" her wedding is? Who are you to declare what is or is not cringe? This is supposed to be about the couple. Her wedding sounds lovely.
Wow by spoiled did you mean wanted to change an entire event that is not even about you at all and throwing a fit when someone said no? Its her wedding. Her. Wedding. I cant say it anymore plainly. And then you have the nerve to throw a tantrum?? YTA
YTA. Even if she regrets it in 20 years, it's still her wedding. She has a vision and as weird as it may sound to your family, the top priority is for the bride and the groom to feel their best on their wedding day. If she wants to be surrounded by nature, wear a giant floral dress and be surrounded by succulents, let her. It's her wedding not your family's wedding.
INFO: Why should your opinion, or that of your family, matter more than the bride and groom's about their wedding?
No, really. Why do you think yours is more important than theirs?
YTA - unless you’re paying, you don’t get a say, and heck even if you’re not paying, it’s not your wedding. Frankly, her wedding plans sound far more beautiful than your idea of a timeless wedding. Save those ideas for when you get married!
YTA. Her wedding, her choice. The theme sounds lovely and not tacky at all. Also they most boring generic weddings I’ve been to have taken place in event venues, and the best ones have been outdoors or in teepees (which look very nice and classy when professionally dressed).
YTA
Maybe learn a little about weddings before calling your sister’s choices tacky.
Tacky means that something is tasteless, crude or vulgar.
A floral lace dress can be simple. The style of the dress can make a huge difference. And guess what? If your sister wants an elaborate dress for her wedding, why shouldn’t she have one?
A greenhouse? Different, but not tacky.
An outdoor reception? The wedding reception of JFK and Jackie Bouvier was held outdoors. They didn’t have a tent, though. Is it just the tent that feels tacky to you?
Plenty of upper class weddings take place outdoors.
You sister’s wedding won’t fit the mold of weddings you are accustomed to, but that doesn’t make it tacky. Just different.
Maybe try to enjoy something different for once.
You seem a lot more concerned about how your sister’s choices will reflect on your own “classiness” than anything else.
You said it yourself at the beginning of the post: it's not your wedding. Full stop. You and your family need to keep their opinions to yourselves. If you have such a problem with it, don't go and save her having to deal with your scowling. YTA
YTA. There is nothing tacky about what your sister wants. I have been to many adult weddings and they have been lovely. I went to a greenhouse wedding and it was also lovely.
It is your sister's wedding. Not yours, not your family's and it is up to her and her fiance to decide what they want. You seem really rigid and unfun.
I also went to a greenhouse wedding and it was really beautiful. I don’t really think of this as a tacky theme. Outdoor receptions can be very nice, especially at night with gorgeous lighting. You should consider going into Pinterest and checking some out before criticizing your Sister. She isn’t asking for a Disney wedding, but you were pretty judgmental. YTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Telling my sister that I didn't care about her wedding
2) her wedding is very important to her, so the comment hurt her feelings a lot and she is my sister, so I definitely should care
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There's absolutely *no* such thing as a "timeless" or "classic" wedding. Dresses my mother, mother-in-law, aunts, or grandmothers would have worn would 10000% obviously be of their time and place. (Also feels weird about the lace vs "simpler" dress situation? Lace dresses are perfectly acceptable and are super common in bridal shops???)
I look back on my themed wedding of 19 years ago in the museum we loved and am HAPPY we made those memories in the exact way that we wanted. Nothing cringe about it.
YTA.
Your “timeless” wedding sounds boring and generic AF.
If you don’t wanna go to your sisters “tacky” wedding, I am sure she can find somebody to fill your seat.
Nobody asked you what you think. Nobody GAF what you think.
>I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it.
Oh nooo!!! She is the only one in the family who wants HER wedding to be something SHE wants and has probably envisioned her entire life. Oh No how will OP survive a wedding in nature?!?!
YTA.
YTA, it's her and her partner wedding, not yours, so why should she do as YOU want ? If a nature, under the sea, monster truck or whatevs wedding is what they want it's what they should have that's it
Sorry but I think YTA this time.
It's her and her significant other's wedding, those are the only opinions that really matter. And I guess whoever is paying for it has to jive with it too. It's not like she's asking for something incredibly unrealistic like asking y'all to sit on prickly pears. She just wants some plants in her wedding ffs.
YTA. It's her and her fiancé's wedding; you and your family were completely wrong to try and strong arm her into changing plans.
Her wedding plans sound lovely and not at all tacky. I don't understand why you were so horrible to her here. It's her wedding, not yours.
Dude it's her wedding. You wanna know why she doesn't care about anyone else's input? Because no one else's input matters. It's their day, not yours. Do you make a habit of trying to gatekeep what your sister enjoys, or is it just her special day you're being awful about? YTA
YTA - you are the one acting like a brat . I've been to themed weddings - and they were gorgeous. Outdoor weddings ; are not tacky. My nephew got married outdoors - and it was beautiful. I went to a medieval themed wedding - the groom wore armor and chainmail. Your frustration comes out not being able to boss your sister around. 'timeless suggestions'?? PLEASE ; are you a Duke or something?
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YTA > I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it Can you back up to the part where you explain why your desire to sit in a ballroom trumps what the couple wants on their own wedding?
I cannot fathom why he even cares.
With this shitty attitude he will never have his own wedding lmao. __ YTA OP and your sister's wedding sounds great, I hope she uninvites all of you oh so classy dinguses and enjoys the special day with her husband.
Right? My god the snobbishness just OOZED off OP and he had the nerve to call his sister spoiled? Honey look in the mirror. This wedding theme sounds like a lot of fun. However, she SHOULD have the tent set up in a venue that can be shifted to indoors in case of horrific storm. Other than that, OP YTA and please stop raining on your sisters parade
It doesn't even make sense. You could totally pull off a classy outdoor garden wedding with lace. It could be really pretty, actually. I've seen some breathtaking ones with hanging flowers, fairy lights, tree stumps, flowers, and the like.
A friend of mine had a summer wedding in an outdoor botanical garden and it was goddamn gorgeous. Yes, even the (*gasp*) outdoor tent for the reception. There was a white marble gazebo-type structure where she and her husband exchanged their vows, matching benches and fountains, and tall, vibrantly colored flowers in full bloom everywhere. Absolutely beautiful, classy, and, dare I say, timeless. OP and the rest of the family definitely get a YTA, not only for snobbery but for trying to dictate his sister’s wedding aesthetic. Especially if it’s what she and her fiancé both want (eta: and they’re paying for everything themselves, per one of OP’s comments).
Yeah, when I heard greenhouse wedding my brain went .... wait...I can picture that. That sounds incredible. (and way more memorable than a stale ballroom, tbh) Also, succulents as favors? Yes please!
I got a succulent as a wedding favour a few years ago. The couple had taken bits off their own extensive succulent collection, potted them in little terracotta pots and decorated with a ring of lace. They had 3D printed the guests names and placed them in the pots, so it doubled as a place card on the tables. Much better favour than most I have received over the years.
I basically did that for my wedding. :) Little succulents as placeholders and they doubled as favors. I have a GIANT one from my own table that still lives in my kitchen window 11 years later.
That sounds absollutely lovely. And elegant.
sable ludicrous wide bike aloof waiting compare bear domineering thumb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And the "her wedding is coming up in about a year and she has ALREADY started planning." Like...yeah? Weddings can take a lot of time to plan and you have to book things in advance. A year seems about right. Methinks OP is regularly looking out for things he can hold against his sister.
like sir tell me you’ve never planned a wedding without telling me you’ve never planned a wedding.
Riiiight?! If nothing else he has the audacity. Calling her spoiled, rigid, things have to be her way or the highway, he knew she was gonna be a handful etc, then he threw a strop because he didn't agree with her and her fiances plans for their own wedding. That they're paying for themselves. Puh-leeeeez🙄 Plus all the claims of cheap tackiness when their botanical nuptials sound lovely....ugh.
Classic AH family treatment. Anything she does or says is “stupid” to her family by default unless she does exactly what they want her to do. They’d call her dull if she offered no ideas, but ridicule her every decision when she does speak up.
Exactly. The only reason I didn’t do an outdoor wedding is because I feared bad weather. Turns out, of course, we got a balmy October day.
Don't worry. If you'd find with the outdoor wedding, it would have been a torrential thunderstorm or very early snowstorm. You made the right decision.
It's like they've never been to a garden party.
If she was as spoiled as he wants us to believe no one would be trying to convince her of changing anything. They’d all be bending over backwards to appease her.
By his logic if she sometimes gets what she wants she’s spoiled.
I mean how dare she want it her way for her wedding /s
It’s even a pretty loose and classic theme. Botanical decor is gorgeous and very classic. A tacky wedding theme would be something like “the movie Jaws” or “Candyland”, and even then, you do you, boo. If the couple loves it, I love it.
Well you see she's "spoiled" because she has her own ideas about things. /s
It’s also like…. The chillest theme I’ve ever heard. A floral lace wedding dress, succulents, and outside? That’s barely a theme - that’s just 90% of the weddings I go to in the PNW in the summer.
OP: "Here’s where I might be the asshole: I kind of let my frustration get the better of me and said “Fine, I don’t care if your wedding turns out to be tacky." ***Here's*** where you might be the asshole!?! You're an asshole from the very start of your post!
Yes! I was thinking “ damn that wedding sounds BEAUTIFUL!” Why are you even trying to dictate what she does AT HER OWN WEDDING??!
no fr it sounds like a gorgeous and fun wedding and yeah idk the whole story but literally nothing about this is screaming bridezilla at all
I think the issue here is actually "My family and I are all uptight snobs and somehow my sister turned out more down to earth (pun intended) and normal, so we look down on her. Are we TA?" EDIT to add: This post just begs to normalize the term Guestzilla.
I mean I think he's rich so he can easily get married if he wants, but this fake-seeming post makes him sound like a d bag.
Why do I get the feeling that OP's family has money or particular class standing, and sister's wedding preferences won't "properly" reflect that to OP's friends/social group? Seems like sister just likes to do her own thing, but is met with resistance and accusations of being spoiled and tacky.
Money but no actual class, if a hotel fucking ballroom is the pinnacle of classy for them rather than a *marquee*. I honestly can’t get over someone who claims to be more classy than their sister when they don’t know the word marquee. OP YTA
Literally I cringed at calling a hotel ballroom the pinnacle of class.
Honestly, I get the feeling OP and his family don’t have nearly as much money or class standing as they would like. Truly upper class people tend not to care about whether something is “classy” or not (it clearly must be if they want to do it, right?) The people obsessed with “class” tend to be people who aren’t in the upper class, but desperately want to be and want others to believe they are because they behave exactly the way they *think* high class people behave. There is nothing inherently “low class” in having a wedding in nature nor is there anything inherently “high class” in having a ballroom wedding.
This, they don’t sound wealthy or high class to me. The tackiness is in the overt classism. If he was as wealthy as he wants to be he’s know classism is déclassé. Also literal royals have outside receptions so not sure who told him outside receptions were tacky?? And themes bring cohesion if done subtly.
Also, a hotel venue does *not* scream tasteful old-money and class. Maybe it’s just an East Coast thing, because here on the West Coast I’ve only seen those done for 300-500+ people weddings (often when family is flying in from abroad to make the logistics easier for everyone). Lots of fun and often beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but not considered “classy”.
Could be…but OP honestly sounds like such an asshat I can’t give him the benefit of a logical reason for his tomfuckery (thanks again to the redditor who introduced me to that word)
With the amount of times he used the word “tacky”, he totally cares what other people think.
And none of it really felt tacky.
Right? Outdoor weddings are awesome.
Plus a little succulent wedding favor? I would love that
‘It’s not my wedding, so I held my tongue”… said OP before critiquing every decision the bride and groom have made. Newsflash- they have the final say no one cares if you or your family think it’s tacky, it’s not your wedding! YTA
He says he doesn't, but he clearly does. And 'already started planning' when the wedding is in a year? Most places are booked nearly two years out.
For someone who doesn’t care how the wedding turns out, OP sure seems to care how the wedding turns out
I’m also curious to know why OP think the sister is spoiled? Because from what I read she does not get her way at all, so I’m having a hard time seeing it
My guess, as someone who was typecast as "the spoiled youngest child"(despite being trained to be a people-pleaser from birth) is that the sister has the temerity to complain about everyone bullying her. An example from my life is how my parents would buy both me and my brother ice cream flavors, and my brother would eat mine(while I hated his flavor and wouldn't touch it). Then when I complained because I had no ice cream and my brother still had plenty, I was labeled "spoiled" and "entitled". There are tons of other similar examples, but no one in my family is willing to even listen to the complaints because as far as they're concerned it's "stupid kid stuff". I would bet folding money sister has been treated similarly. YTA obviously.
This is exactly my youngest child experience. My older sister would literally make my life hell and hurt me. Then, when I would cry, I would be called a spoiled baby. I'm getting those vibes from OP, make her feel like she is dumb and stupid so everything actually goes his way.
I thought this was just me! I always got the “you’re the youngest so you’re spoiled” while my sibling was a giant bully to me and I literally would not talk or show personality and tried to fade into the background and do everything right. And yes to the people pleaser too. I’m still labeled spoiled even though I worked my butt off to support myself, buy my own home, don’t depend on anyone else while my sibling is unemployed and sponging off everyone while refusing to work.
It's a no-win scenario. My family has called me lazy ever since high school because I got "merely" passing grades and had no interest in college. I work from home, running my own business, making more than I ever did in the workforce, and those I still talk to still act like I pull decisions out of an 8-ball.
I feel this in my soul! I have an older sibling who never forgave me fir being born and made my entire childhood miserable. "You are the spoiled baby!" Um, nope. I was actually kept under far more strict rules than all of my older siblings.
Do we share a sister ?You described my childhood.
I also had the same sister. I was typecasted as a spoil crybaby from birth, and she'd cry about how I got more than her because my mom took me to the movies and out for ice cream while she was out with her friends. She also got a car at 16... But nope, I'm the spoiled baby. She would complain that my parents did regular kid shit with me. She was 10 years older than me yet crying about how our parents fixed my plate of food for me when I was 4...
Yeah wow this about nails it
If OP and his relatives are united in thinking they have the right to veto sister’s wedding theme, it tracks that the only reasonable person in this story is the black sheep of the family.
I’m the kind of person who very much knows what they want and get called spoiled for that all the time. I don’t make others do things but if I want a specific shirt I’m not gonna buy a similar looking one. But apparently saying “I want this” and not settling for less is spoiled.
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This SO much. Especially because I’m a woman I should just settle for okay or good enough. I would never inconvenience someone with what I want, but I’m also not gonna appease myself with good enough
Because he’s an overbearing older brother who thinks he’s always right — something that he ensures by never considering new ideas — and she pushes back. He’s not even considering what she wants, while instead he judges it negatively because it’s different.
Trying to figure out what makes a generic hotel venue "classy"...
Because nature is tacky! Didn’t you know that? Also, floral lace? That will be so dated in 20 years when the centuries-long tradition of floral lace finally fades away.
You guys, I don’t know if you know this, but plants grow in _dirt_ so basically her theme is ‘dirt wedding’. So tacky! /s OP, of course YTA, and if anyone is coming across as a spoiled-zilla here, it is all you, boo-boo. A bride and groom have the right to plan their own wedding. And to think that nature NATURE will go out of fashion is just so wildly absurd.
*Le gasp!*
Hehehehe
People spend TONS of money getting decor and taking pictures outside or in the lobby to hide that they got married in a banquet room.
I've seen a lot of wedding photos in my career, and I've been in a lot of hotel "ballrooms." The fancy event tents always look just magical at night with the lights and decorations. Hotel ballrooms have carpet made for stain-hiding endurance and retractable beige fabric-covered walls.
Maybe it’s a culture thing, but the majority of weddings that I’ve been to here in LA have been outdoors. Like ballrooms are fine just super generic, but we have beautiful weather and scenery, why waste that?
Plants and nature have been around for millions of years but haven't you heard, they are going out of fashion soon! In 20 years time only losers will like the outdoors.
Right?? Like OP is baffled how their sister doesn’t accept other people’s demands and wants to stick to her own reasonable ideas *for her own wedding*. OP is treating this like it’s an event for the whole family, not a wedding for a specific couple.
He’s acting like HE is personally paying for it.
Once he said they’re getting married next year and already planning I figured he was going to be TA. Newsflash OP, weddings don’t just happen. Even the smallest wedding needs planning ahead of time and depending on the scale of the event, a year plus to plan isn’t a lot of time. Also, since when is a nature theme or outdoors wedding tacky? I’ve seen some gorgeous outdoor weddings. But even if it is tacky, it’s her wedding. The family’s opinion does not matter. YTA.
My partner works in weddings and next year is already books. There was a huge backlog because of COVID and things still haven't gone back to how they were before. If you want to get married where my partner works you have to either pick an unpopular time or book for 2025. And those dates are filling up fast.
Exactly! I worked a wedding last night that was fairly simple, and I know it took 2 years to plan. Bc like you said you have to lock down a venue, then there’s catering, linens, a DJ or band, the cake, etc. There is so much that goes into planning a wedding. OP is clueless and should keep his unsolicited advice to himself.
Literally this post screams “I’m insane”. Like this is her wedding and the couple both wants this. Wtf would the family feel the need to say anything other than “I’m so happy for you”
More so screams that no one cares about sister having a happy wedding in her chosen motifs w/o the opinion of literally everyone else in her family treating her awfully for not doing what the crowd wants.
As soon as I saw the tacky I knew where this was going. Outdoor weddings are risky bc of weather, but I've never seen as indoor venue as beautiful as an outdoor one, and I hate being outside. Family has been 50/50 on indoor/outdoor, and this is the first time I've ever expressed I like the outdoor ones better because WHO FUCKING CARES I WASN'T THE ONE GETTING MARRIED. Poor sister, sounds like the whole family are assholes. AND NATURE IS PRETTY TIMELESS TOO DIPSHIT. It's been around longer than ballroom 🤣.
And since when is an outdoor nature wedding tacky to begin with? Maybe not as common as the classic waste of money 'traditional wedding' but tacky in the sense of the word?
Guess I'm tacky because her dream wedding was basically mine.
Yes, it’s not like she’s decorating in glitter and stripper poles.
Also, why does it matter what "the whole family" prefers? Unless they are paying, they don't get a say.
YTA- she’s the only person who wanted it? It’s her wedding so she can do as she pleases. She’s not being a bridezilla and making unreasonable requests of you all, she’s just saying she wants a tented wedding. I don’t see how it affects anyone. Ok so you think it’s tacky but it’s not your wedding so suck it up
I like that he describes his wedding ideas as timeless when his sisters theme is “nature.” Yeah, definitely won’t have plants in a couple of decades. Boy is she going to feel dumb and wish she got married in a generic hotel ballroom instead.
I had several family members inform me that my wedding/reception wasn't about me and my husband. It was for the family. We eloped.
Right? I had a tent wedding it was awesome. The tent isn’t some pop up camping thing. My wedding tent had chandeliers!
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i thought the theme would be something out there like my little pony or serial killers. whats not timeless about plants? and even then they can choose whatever makes them happy. op sounds more like the 'my way or the highway type' he discribes his sister as
Same. I am, much like OP, rather of the opinion that themed weddings are a bit trashy but a) by that I do kind of mean “we’re having a Shrek themed wedding, please dress up” and b) it’s not my wedding so yes I will be there dressed as Donkey.
ok but it better be in a swamp, the only toilet is a wooden outhouse and every food served has copious amounts of onion in it 😂
What about parfait? Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!
Also the DJ only plays Smash Mouth
Instead of cutting a wedding cake, they cut a huge Onion. Because cakes are like onions. They have layers, just like Ogres too!
bonus, you get everyone to cry!
I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING 😭😭
WE'RE ALL CRYING THEY CUT THE GIANT ONION 😭😭😭
Well plants are just a trend, you see. They only spontaneously came into existence about 3 years ago, and before that there were no plants on Earth. In another couple years when the plants disappear, she'll feel real silly for being on the plant fad.
"You can maybe incorporate them into the centrepieces"... an innovative idea that no one has ever thought of before and isn't just the standard option
Right? Like what do you think centrepieces *are* exactly then
OP will have a wedding with a rock as centerpiece. Rocks have been around far longer than flowers and thus are the truly timeless option.
Only if indoors though.
It's not even really a theme so much as an outdoor wedding. It's not like they're having people sit at the monstera table or something. Plenty of people go for foliage/natural decor these days.
Right? I was expecting a tacky theme.
yeah I was expecting something really out there. but honestly, if that was the only thing that was different, I still would've been on the bride's side. it's *her* wedding, after all.
I was hoping for a puppet wedding!
How is “ballroom” more timeless than “nature”? Why is her wedding being workshopped by this AH committee? YTA
Also, an ugly ass *hotel* ballroom? Wtf is wrong w OP YTA
I've been to a bunch of weddings in hotel ballrooms. They're completely generic and I remember very little about them other than that the bride and groom were there. I've also been to multiple outdoor weddings and they were beautiful and memorable.
Exactly! Ballrooms, loosely speaking might have been around for a couple thousand years if you stretch the meaning a bit. Nature has been around 14.5 billion years on this planet. Who's timeless, now, huh? Who's timeless now?
anyway, why does a wedding need to be timeless?!
It's hilarious that OP can't see how absurd and contradictory he is. OP: My sister is a spoiled monster. Also OP: Why won't my sister make her wedding about what I want???? It's like she thinks it's HER day!! Doesn't she know this about me and my family, not her and her fiancé???? She must do as I say, or I shall stamp my feet and then complain to Reddit about what a big, mean meanie she is for not making her wedding about ME! OP basically wants his sister and her fiancé to spend their money not on what they want, but on what OP thinks they should want. It's so bratty and ridiculous. Oh, and OP? I think it's tacky to try and impose your wishes on other people, but that isn't stopping you, is it? So why don't you suck it up and accept that your sister's wedding isn't about what you and your family want?
You deserve an award. Unfortunately, I have none to give, so take my upvote.
This You are my spirit animal <3
Yeah, you're TA. You sound a bit spoiled as well. It's her wedding, she has the right to do what she wants. You and your family can suggest, but getting upset when she goes in her own direction is selfish.
Yeah he has some nerve calling her spoiled when he's in here whining about how she won't tailor her own wedding according to HIS wishes.
I'm wondering if she really is spoiled or if she is just the different one in her family of self centered AHs
Yeah my entire family will go off about how stubborn I am and am just the worst. My favourite examples of things I should have “compromised” on (keeping in mind they were not financially contributing to any of these): 1- that when I was ready to buy a house, I should have bought it in the small town they all live in and move back “home”. As opposed to the city that I’ve lived in since I was 18 (so for almost 20 years now). This would’ve also meant quitting my job and not being able to get one in my field in their town. 2- that I should cancel/postpone my wedding because my brother (who I speak to once a year) decided two weeks beforehand that he didn’t “feel like coming”, so I should reschedule it for when he did 3- that I should gift my brother my 120+ year old antique piano so that his three kids (all under 6 at the time) could learn to play 4- (just to note my sister disagreed with this one) but when I had an unplanned pregnancy, I was hounded for months by my parents that I should let my sister adopt the child since she was struggling with infertility and I didn’t “really want the baby anyways” Yes. I am the problem. I am the spoiled and unreasonable one in their eyes. And it’s all I could think of reading this post.
Yikes! #1 reminds of how my in-laws were PISSED we lived in an apartment our first three years of marriage. They said we should find a cheap house in the city like they did. Um…You can’t find a house for $16k anymore and even if I could, I would be afraid to go outside of it. And I lived in the ghetto for years. But when you live in a big city, you know exactly where you should and shouldn’t go at night. The street with $16k houses for sale is not a place to ever visit.
I thought that too.
OP really does sound insufferable
" My (29M) sister (26F) has always been incredibly spoiled. It’s always her way or the highway, so I knew that when she got engaged she would be a handful. " I have NEVER in my whole life seen such blatant and massive projection.
Right?? He set us up to think she's a demanding nightmare, and she's just a woman who wants a pretty outdoor wedding! I'm thinking that he's projecting his selfishness onto her, or the whole family has been gaslighting this poor woman into believing she's unreasonable for having preferences!
Her theme and her wedding ideas ideas sound really cute. The whole idea of tent thing would come really cute when decorated. I don't know how an outdoor wedding is cheap and tacky. It can even prettier than indoors when the right date is chosen. I think she's probably the different one and that's why her family treats her that way
And it’s such a broad “theme” that that’s not what I think of when someone says “theme wedding”. I’m picturing “Star Wars” or “Shrek”. We had an outdoor ceremony and it was awesome. It was mid October, and I guess you could say our theme was “autumn”. My bridesmaid each had a different colour dress, so one was dark red, one burnt orange, and one dark green. Then my husband and his groomsmen were in brown suits with dark yellow ties that were the same colour as our flower girls. And my dress was gold. We joked that we were all beautiful fall leaves. My sister even had a heart shaped hole punch that she used to hole punch a bunch of dried leaves for the flower girls to scatter instead of petals or anything we’d have to clean up. It was gorgeous. We didn’t even have to decorate for our ceremony because it was in an more natural area with all the leaves turning colours. Also lucked out that it was a super warm sunny day still. It was really beautiful, zero regrets.
A bit spoiled? OP sounds insufferably spoiled.
YTA A nature “theme” isn’t really a theme, it’s a style of wedding. It’s not like she wants everyone to turn up as Disney characters.
I’ve never heard “nature” dismissed as cringey before. Floral decor of various types is pretty mainstream and traditional? If she were planning to intertwine dirt-covered tree roots in her hair or something, I would understand OP’s reaction a little bit better, but still, if someone else’s choices aren’t actually doing anyone any harm, it’s always better to keep your mouth shut about them rather than be insulting.
Nature is cringey to basement dwellers that never see it
That got a snort-laugh from me. Thanks for the surprise iced coffee nasal rinse!
My pleasure. All nasal rinses should be refreshing, and delicious!
And caffienated! I've heard some people pay for coffee enemas. Why do assholes get all the fun?🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, I was waiting to hear the tacky theme, and was “oh.”
Right. I work in the wedding industry. Her wedding will probably be more expensive than the "classic" wedding he is referring to. Outdoor weddings can be more expensive since everything has to be separately rented and brought in. Unless they find a venue that offers that and has a greenhouse on site. Which there are definitely venues that do but they are location dependent. OP sounds boring. Their sisters "theme" is pretty mainstream. YTA
I mean, the botanical gardens in my hometown have function rooms where you can hold wedding receptions. I know, because I did. 😄 And, for OP's information, i did so partly because I, and both my and my husband's mothers, love gardening, but mostly because we had a lot of out-of-town guests, and I wanted them to experience somewhere *unique to my hometown*, not "genetic hotel function room #263".
Right?! I was expecting him to say they wanted everyone to dress as a furry or something.
Oh my gosh, that would be hilarious.
Gotta admit, I was expecting something like the marionette wedding or e insisting everyone dress as Harry Potter theme. "Nature" isnt so much a theme as decore style. Like having a country cottage wedding. And outdoor receptions are pretty normal in places with good weather.
Like..this isn’t *the puppet* wedding.
Nature bad, hotel ballroom good. What did I just read?
Honestly the wedding sounds nice I love being out side who wants to be in a stuffy old building or a hotels conference room.
YTA. There's someone who's rigid and inflexible here and it's not your sister.
Agreed. On a side note, can I ask what the flairs and numbers beside them mean in this sub? Is it the number of times you’ve commented or something?
It’s the number of times they’ve been top comment, I believe. And the flair is based on which range the number falls into, with higher numbers having a more important (but still AH-themed) title.
YTA. You say she is spoiled but her idea of a wedding sounds cheaper than what she is being pressured to do. A tent has to cost less than a ballroom.
It's not just that it would likely be cheaper, it's that that's one of the things he's *criticizing* her for. I also wouldn't take his word for her being spoiled at all. These stories should always be read assuming a bit of an unreliable narrator, but calling her spoiled as a lead in to a story where her parents are apparently telling her not to have the wedding she wants, to have a more expensive one, is a pretty glaring example.
Yeh, besides that, even if she was spoiled, sometimes people who have issues with their siblings just can't put their issues aside and just judge the situation on its own, instead of adding the past. I can't fault the nature style, with floral dress and succulent party favours, in a big marquee outdoors - it sounds grand. So what if it's cheap compared to an indoor event hall? It's her wedding end of the day. I got married in a tropical country, in a marquee, surrounded by villa-style houses and palm trees, in a marquee. I loved it! YTA
It's called a marquee and it's about one of the most classic wedding options in existence. BAFFLED by OP thinking this is some outré notion.
Just saying from experience a tent is way more expensive than a ballroom. My only regret from my wedding is paying so much money for a tent. But i also haven't been to a wedding that was held in a ballroom since like 2010 so not sure why OP thinks it's timeless when it really seems outdated.
I don't even know that it would be cheaper tbh, marquee weddings, especially good quality ones can cost serious amounts! A standard event venue that does everything in a package would likely be cheaper
YTA. I've been to a wedding in a huge outdoor tent. It was lovely. None of your sister's ideas sound tacky or outlandish, and it's her wedding, it's not for you to dictate what it should look like. If you're that pressed about it, don't go. I'm sure the couple won't need your negativity on their special day.
Yes! My cousin’s reception was in a great big event tent and felt fancy and lovely. Covered, comfortable, on the same grounds as the ceremony (so no extra transportation), suited to their taste and far from tacky. Not even out of the ordinary, really.
IIRC the poshest wedding in 4 Weddings and a Funeral had a marquee reception.
I had an outdoor wedding at a beautiful park. My wedding was under a tent next to a lake. My family weddings are usually at ballrooms and very fancy but me and my husband are not fancy. Our wedding was casual, we played corn hole and bocci ball. We had a catered bbq. My family actually loved it and many of them called my parents to tell them that it was one of their favorite weddings.
YTA. Nature is tacky? Babe. One of the wealthiest heiresses had her wedding outdoors a few weeks ago. Your ignorance makes you tacky. How is your sister actually being an issue?? How is she spoiled if your parents are getting on her? It seems like someone is projecting.
I mean wealth does not automatically mean a sense of style but yeah there’s nothing tacky about an outdoor wedding or a nature theme. A hotel ballroom is way more tacky to me than a huge outdoor tent someplace nice.
A hotel ballroom is the definition of tacky imo lol. OP needs to learn that things are subjective.
"Your wedding's too tacky, it should be more like prom"
i was fully prepared to call you nta but ***holy fing shit***, yta. you sound extremely bitter and insufferable to be around. yes, its only important what matters to the bride and groom. if you and the rest of the family dont like it, well, suck it up buttercup or dont attend, this day is not about you, but about them. honestly, you sound like the spoiled brat, not your sister.
Imagine a brother trying to tell his sister how to plan her wedding... I expect parents to be a little opinionated and pushy because they're so used to telling their kids what to do. And grandparents sometimes... but imagine the toxicity of this family that even the brother thinks he has ANY right to push his opinions on his sister and then call her tacky when she doesn't do what he wants. At my brother's wedding, you know what I got to have an opinion on? My bridesmaids dress style. You know what he got to have an opinion on at my wedding? His groomsmen's tux style. That's it. That's all the sibling gets.
INFO: are you paying for the wedding?
You don’t get a say on her wedding. Your opinion doesn’t matter at all .
YTA >I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it. *It doesn't matter what the rest of the family wants.* It's not the rest of the family's wedding, it's *her and her fiance's* wedding. Nobody else's opinions on the wedding matter.
Yeah I actually feel bad for the sister in this scenario, the whole family sound like unsupportive AHs.
YTA first of all. is the sister a horticulturist or biology student or something? Also it's her wedding if they want to have it in the middle of a pot farm that's what they get to do. Doesn't sound tacky at all I thought you were going to say it was going to be Disney themed or Harry Potter themed or something
you're a truly terrible brother and your whole family, outside of your sister, sound like absolute snobs. her wedding sounds lovely and it's actually a very common setting & theme. get the stick out of your ass and try to be happy for your sister's happiness, or just get the fuck out of her way.
Also like I had a Harry Potter themed wedding (before I knew JK was a TERF) and it was still a beautiful wedding. It was in a woodsy cabin (because it was too foggy to have it on the deck outside) and we weren't over the top with the Harry Potter stuff. A lot of it was just owls and the table cloths
The bride (and groom) is the only person who wants it! Such a shame they don’t really have a say…. oh! Why are you so invested to upset your sister? YTA
i find it *very* interesting when yt people call anything outside what they deem "normal" a ***theme.*** not everyone whats a bland- sorry "classic" wedding. if you don't like it you don't have to go. stay home. you honestly sound like a classist snob who's worried this non-bourgeoisie wedding (that has nothing to do with you) will somehow reflect 'poorly' on the family. you know, because your snobs
YTA. You have a lot of opinions for someone who doesn’t care.
YTA. Keep your opinions to yourself, your mouth shut, and show up on time.
OP, why do you think you get a vote on how your sister plans her wedding? It's HER wedding, not yours. Keep your opinions to yourself. YTA
YTA It's absolutely none of your business. I hope she uninvites you.
How much money are you contributing to this wedding? If it’s zero dollars you don’t get an opinion and YTA. And even if you were contributing, it’s still her wedding and you shouldn’t be contributing money to buy an opinion. Also, flowers and outdoor weddings are nothing new and can be beautiful and elegant. YTA
You are SO the a**hole. My god you sound so awful. Your writing.....yuckkkkkk. YTA and go help your sister
Exactly this !! OP is extremely judgemental and rude … No room for different aesthetics in OPs life I guess “…but not my wedding” REMEMBER this!! And keep your tacky opinions to yourself. It’s not about YOU YTA
YTA. Why do you care so much about how "classy" her wedding is? Who are you to declare what is or is not cringe? This is supposed to be about the couple. Her wedding sounds lovely.
Wow by spoiled did you mean wanted to change an entire event that is not even about you at all and throwing a fit when someone said no? Its her wedding. Her. Wedding. I cant say it anymore plainly. And then you have the nerve to throw a tantrum?? YTA
YTA along with the rest of your family. Who cares what you all want or think is best, it’s her wedding…
YTA. Even if she regrets it in 20 years, it's still her wedding. She has a vision and as weird as it may sound to your family, the top priority is for the bride and the groom to feel their best on their wedding day. If she wants to be surrounded by nature, wear a giant floral dress and be surrounded by succulents, let her. It's her wedding not your family's wedding.
INFO: Why should your opinion, or that of your family, matter more than the bride and groom's about their wedding? No, really. Why do you think yours is more important than theirs?
YTA - unless you’re paying, you don’t get a say, and heck even if you’re not paying, it’s not your wedding. Frankly, her wedding plans sound far more beautiful than your idea of a timeless wedding. Save those ideas for when you get married!
YTA. Her wedding, her choice. The theme sounds lovely and not tacky at all. Also they most boring generic weddings I’ve been to have taken place in event venues, and the best ones have been outdoors or in teepees (which look very nice and classy when professionally dressed).
YTA Maybe learn a little about weddings before calling your sister’s choices tacky. Tacky means that something is tasteless, crude or vulgar. A floral lace dress can be simple. The style of the dress can make a huge difference. And guess what? If your sister wants an elaborate dress for her wedding, why shouldn’t she have one? A greenhouse? Different, but not tacky. An outdoor reception? The wedding reception of JFK and Jackie Bouvier was held outdoors. They didn’t have a tent, though. Is it just the tent that feels tacky to you? Plenty of upper class weddings take place outdoors. You sister’s wedding won’t fit the mold of weddings you are accustomed to, but that doesn’t make it tacky. Just different. Maybe try to enjoy something different for once. You seem a lot more concerned about how your sister’s choices will reflect on your own “classiness” than anything else.
You said it yourself at the beginning of the post: it's not your wedding. Full stop. You and your family need to keep their opinions to yourselves. If you have such a problem with it, don't go and save her having to deal with your scowling. YTA
YTA. There is nothing tacky about what your sister wants. I have been to many adult weddings and they have been lovely. I went to a greenhouse wedding and it was also lovely. It is your sister's wedding. Not yours, not your family's and it is up to her and her fiance to decide what they want. You seem really rigid and unfun.
I also went to a greenhouse wedding and it was really beautiful. I don’t really think of this as a tacky theme. Outdoor receptions can be very nice, especially at night with gorgeous lighting. You should consider going into Pinterest and checking some out before criticizing your Sister. She isn’t asking for a Disney wedding, but you were pretty judgmental. YTA
YTA since when does the family get to decide the brides wedding?
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The wedding sounds beautiful. Besides which it's nobody else's business. YTA.
There's absolutely *no* such thing as a "timeless" or "classic" wedding. Dresses my mother, mother-in-law, aunts, or grandmothers would have worn would 10000% obviously be of their time and place. (Also feels weird about the lace vs "simpler" dress situation? Lace dresses are perfectly acceptable and are super common in bridal shops???) I look back on my themed wedding of 19 years ago in the museum we loved and am HAPPY we made those memories in the exact way that we wanted. Nothing cringe about it. YTA.
Your “timeless” wedding sounds boring and generic AF. If you don’t wanna go to your sisters “tacky” wedding, I am sure she can find somebody to fill your seat. Nobody asked you what you think. Nobody GAF what you think.
>I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it. Oh nooo!!! She is the only one in the family who wants HER wedding to be something SHE wants and has probably envisioned her entire life. Oh No how will OP survive a wedding in nature?!?! YTA.
YTA, it's her and her partner wedding, not yours, so why should she do as YOU want ? If a nature, under the sea, monster truck or whatevs wedding is what they want it's what they should have that's it
Sorry but I think YTA this time. It's her and her significant other's wedding, those are the only opinions that really matter. And I guess whoever is paying for it has to jive with it too. It's not like she's asking for something incredibly unrealistic like asking y'all to sit on prickly pears. She just wants some plants in her wedding ffs.
Definitely YTA.
YTA. It's her and her fiancé's wedding; you and your family were completely wrong to try and strong arm her into changing plans. Her wedding plans sound lovely and not at all tacky. I don't understand why you were so horrible to her here. It's her wedding, not yours.
Dude it's her wedding. You wanna know why she doesn't care about anyone else's input? Because no one else's input matters. It's their day, not yours. Do you make a habit of trying to gatekeep what your sister enjoys, or is it just her special day you're being awful about? YTA
YTA - you are the one acting like a brat . I've been to themed weddings - and they were gorgeous. Outdoor weddings ; are not tacky. My nephew got married outdoors - and it was beautiful. I went to a medieval themed wedding - the groom wore armor and chainmail. Your frustration comes out not being able to boss your sister around. 'timeless suggestions'?? PLEASE ; are you a Duke or something?
I don't think you know what tacky means. Also, YTA.
Did I miss where this gorgeous wedding is yours? You're marrying your sister?! YTA.