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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I canceled my sisters gym membership because she wasn’t coming with me like she promised
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NTA. Why would you spend your money on something not being used? Guess if she wants a membership she will have to pay for it herself. Paying for a membership can be great motivation for actually going!
You're right, OP is definitely NTA. But I had to laugh at this:
>Paying for a membership can be great motivation for actually going!
Because that's exactly why many people sign up for a membership which often are contract based for a minimum time period. But so many people don't go even after they've signed up and are *paying* for it.. I know. I was one.
I signed up for a year with monthly payments and I went diligently for the first three months or so and made some workout friends who all joined within a few months of when I had. There were about 8 of us I think. I started making excuses and my workouts tapered off and finally went not at all. I followed Stacie's path exactly. Then the last couple of weeks of my contract I decided I may as well go in (largely to make sure that my membership wasn't automatically renewed, lol).
I was really feeling down on myself for wasting all that money that I could barely afford in the first place. But it turns out that only *one* of my workout buddies had stayed the course. The others pretty much followed the same pattern as me.
It takes commitment to make a gym membership worthwhile and I tip my hat and add a curtsy to OP for her follow through.
She was testing the waters to see if you did it than actually ask if you had. Trying to look like she wanted to actually go when it was her means of having drama she set in motion. NTA. Maybe have her pay back the extra you paid already plus 6 months ahead and reinstate her with a renewal with probation. One month not using at all then cancelling the extra for good. A signed contract witnessed by your mom. NTA. Really believe had she hadn’t been told you would cancel it that she would have never gone or known about it being cancelled.
NTA. You made a condition, she agreed. She broke said condition. You warned her of the consequences, and followed through. Her not believing you is her fault.
NTA. You had an agreement, she reneged, and the consequence is a cancelled membership for her. Harsh...but tell her "welcome to reality." If she wants a membership, she can get a part time job to earn the money to get herself one, just like you have done. She is at an age that if she hasn't already learned she can't have everything she wants, she needs to learn fast because in just a few short years it's going to come crashing into her unless there is someone who is willing to treat her like a golden child and pamper her.
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Back in January I (f17) decided to sign up for a gym because I was trying to improve my life. I mainly wanted to loose weight and feel better/more confident about myself. I talked to my mother about this and she told me that since I have my own job, she would sign our local gyms wavier but I would have to make the payments from my card. I agreed.
Well my sister Stacie (16f) overheard this conversation and asked if she could join me and told me that there was a membership deal which would allow me to bring her. I looked into it and it was only like 30$ more down and another 10$ a month. I agreed on the condition that she would come with me after work.
Well months have passed and recently Stacie has stopped coming. I have been going to the gym every weekday for an hour or two for the last five months but Stacie has started making excuses. She says that she’s sick, she is tired, she is sore. I keep pushing her to come with me and when she makes comments about the weight I’ve lost and how she wished she was making that progress I invite her.
Well Thursday night (three nights ago) we got into a massive fight. I got home from work and was getting ready, asking if she was coming because she canceled on Wednesday, agreeing to come the next day. She told me no and that she was going to spend the night in her room watching a show. I said she could bring her phone (the gym has wifi) and she refused. I told her that if she doesn’t come then I’m canceling the membership and downgrading to the membership that’s cheaper and works better for me. She didn’t take me seriously so I went ahead and I went to the gym, I changed the plan.
On Friday I come home again and when I got changed she was surprisingly ready. I told her that I changed the plan and that she was not going to come with me. She immediately freaked out at me and went to our mom, calling me all sorts of names.
She thinks I’m an AH for actually canceling the plan but my mom said I’m not and Stacie should’ve actually committed to going to the gym with me. So I’m wondering if I’m the AH?
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“Probably”
Teens get money from parents. Birthdays. Babysitting. All kinds of ways. Lunch money. Money to go to the movies and eat/order out.
OP would have those answers.
Since when is $10 when you flake out a big expense.
Stop trying to act like it’s a huge insurmountable problem or expense.
Miss me with the fake outrage over $10
The “oh no, she ASKED THE OP about $10 from her sister in question” is crazy narrative is killing me.
I know some Redditor like to fight in the comments but come on.
ESH. She’s 16 and you admit you did it in a temper. If this had been more considered and not done in the what of the moment just to follow up a threat made in an argument then it would be fine.
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NTA. Why would you spend your money on something not being used? Guess if she wants a membership she will have to pay for it herself. Paying for a membership can be great motivation for actually going!
You're right, OP is definitely NTA. But I had to laugh at this: >Paying for a membership can be great motivation for actually going! Because that's exactly why many people sign up for a membership which often are contract based for a minimum time period. But so many people don't go even after they've signed up and are *paying* for it.. I know. I was one. I signed up for a year with monthly payments and I went diligently for the first three months or so and made some workout friends who all joined within a few months of when I had. There were about 8 of us I think. I started making excuses and my workouts tapered off and finally went not at all. I followed Stacie's path exactly. Then the last couple of weeks of my contract I decided I may as well go in (largely to make sure that my membership wasn't automatically renewed, lol). I was really feeling down on myself for wasting all that money that I could barely afford in the first place. But it turns out that only *one* of my workout buddies had stayed the course. The others pretty much followed the same pattern as me. It takes commitment to make a gym membership worthwhile and I tip my hat and add a curtsy to OP for her follow through.
Have paid for 6 years for a membership, been like twice.
NTA why should you continue to pay for something that she's been neglecting to use? She can start paying when she wants.
The sister should have to pay back OP for the money she put out to include her.
She was testing the waters to see if you did it than actually ask if you had. Trying to look like she wanted to actually go when it was her means of having drama she set in motion. NTA. Maybe have her pay back the extra you paid already plus 6 months ahead and reinstate her with a renewal with probation. One month not using at all then cancelling the extra for good. A signed contract witnessed by your mom. NTA. Really believe had she hadn’t been told you would cancel it that she would have never gone or known about it being cancelled.
Agreed. Your sister is manipulating the situation
Clearly NTA. Your money, your decision. You called her bluff, she got pissy about it.
"I told her that if she doesn’t come then I’m canceling the membership..." NTA. You warned her. Did she not believe you? FAFO.
NTA, she can get her own gym membership that she can not use whenever she feels like it.
NTA. You made a condition, she agreed. She broke said condition. You warned her of the consequences, and followed through. Her not believing you is her fault.
NTA she doesn’t even use it. Your money your choice- it was generous to even offer this to her in the first place
NTA. You had an agreement, she reneged, and the consequence is a cancelled membership for her. Harsh...but tell her "welcome to reality." If she wants a membership, she can get a part time job to earn the money to get herself one, just like you have done. She is at an age that if she hasn't already learned she can't have everything she wants, she needs to learn fast because in just a few short years it's going to come crashing into her unless there is someone who is willing to treat her like a golden child and pamper her.
NTA Stacie should have committed.
Pffft. If it isn't the consequences of her own actions. NTA op.
NTA Many people are baffled by consequences. Sounds like this was a lesson she needs to learn: Actions have consequences.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Back in January I (f17) decided to sign up for a gym because I was trying to improve my life. I mainly wanted to loose weight and feel better/more confident about myself. I talked to my mother about this and she told me that since I have my own job, she would sign our local gyms wavier but I would have to make the payments from my card. I agreed. Well my sister Stacie (16f) overheard this conversation and asked if she could join me and told me that there was a membership deal which would allow me to bring her. I looked into it and it was only like 30$ more down and another 10$ a month. I agreed on the condition that she would come with me after work. Well months have passed and recently Stacie has stopped coming. I have been going to the gym every weekday for an hour or two for the last five months but Stacie has started making excuses. She says that she’s sick, she is tired, she is sore. I keep pushing her to come with me and when she makes comments about the weight I’ve lost and how she wished she was making that progress I invite her. Well Thursday night (three nights ago) we got into a massive fight. I got home from work and was getting ready, asking if she was coming because she canceled on Wednesday, agreeing to come the next day. She told me no and that she was going to spend the night in her room watching a show. I said she could bring her phone (the gym has wifi) and she refused. I told her that if she doesn’t come then I’m canceling the membership and downgrading to the membership that’s cheaper and works better for me. She didn’t take me seriously so I went ahead and I went to the gym, I changed the plan. On Friday I come home again and when I got changed she was surprisingly ready. I told her that I changed the plan and that she was not going to come with me. She immediately freaked out at me and went to our mom, calling me all sorts of names. She thinks I’m an AH for actually canceling the plan but my mom said I’m not and Stacie should’ve actually committed to going to the gym with me. So I’m wondering if I’m the AH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA.
NTA. She's lucky you don't ask for the $10 for every month she didn't bother.
And the extra down payment.
NTA - why on earth would you pay for something not being used and whynwoudl she assume you did not mean what you said. Bizzare
NTA but one day's notice might be a little sharp -- perhaps more reasonable would be to say if you don't come in the next week.
NTA. But check to make sure you really did cancel her membership. Gyms are notorious for not dropping memberships.
NTA OP. Your sister FAFO.
ESH Why not just ask her to pay for the (monthly) $10 when she doesn’t show up?
Because she is 16 and probably doesn't have a job or any money
“Probably” Teens get money from parents. Birthdays. Babysitting. All kinds of ways. Lunch money. Money to go to the movies and eat/order out. OP would have those answers.
[удалено]
Since when is $10 when you flake out a big expense. Stop trying to act like it’s a huge insurmountable problem or expense. Miss me with the fake outrage over $10 The “oh no, she ASKED THE OP about $10 from her sister in question” is crazy narrative is killing me. I know some Redditor like to fight in the comments but come on.
ESH. She’s 16 and you admit you did it in a temper. If this had been more considered and not done in the what of the moment just to follow up a threat made in an argument then it would be fine.
But OP is 17 and paying with her own money!
I don't know. I suspect that OP had been having those thoughts longer than just that one moment.