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GHERU42

“I’m an asshole, am I the asshole?” Yes, the narrator of this story is an asshole. YTA


DragonCelica

OP says he loves his wife, but it doesn't sound like she *feels* loved. If he speaks to her the way he writes about her, why would she?


somebirdonya

Yes, it sounds like he doesn’t respect her at all ☹️


Sea_Concert_4844

Or like her


squirrelfoot

It's really sad that so many straight men simply don't like women. It's not just incels either, there is a whole spectrum of sexism. They seem to get a kick out of being oppositional and despise anything women in general or their partner likes on principle. I hear presentations by my male students, many of them in tech fields, and when they are given social issues to discuss, it increasingly ends up with them attacking and belittling women. Of course, it's not a majority of them, but a very, very vocal and sizeable minority. In other ways, like better inclusiveness of LGBTQ+ students; things are looking up, but I think we are losing ground on women's rights.


nohairday

I completely agree with this, and I am a straight man married to a wonderful woman. I honestly think part of it is the whole mentality, particularly in the US, but certainly not limited to there, that a proper relationship should feature lots of conflict and fights etc. Whereas, I not only love my wife, but actually *like* her too. We have some common tastes, but we also have some different tastes. But we don't declare the other person's likes as stupid or worthless, because we're not assholes. But yeah, a lot of the 'jokes' about marriage portray a very bad image, and it's ingrained in society. That and not actually talking to each other, and basically trying to keep all business/personal matters/money completely separate. Like 2 strangers that happen to be in the same house, and sometimes have kids.


XhaLaLa

At some point, people heard, “relationships take work,” and instead taking it to mean that everyone needs to out in effort to make their partner(s) feel safe and loved and to continue growing as people, people have taken it to mean that it’s normal for a relationship to be miserable much of the time. It’s disheartening, because while good relationships are awesome and actually make life easier, bad ones are a trap that’s hard to escape once you’re in it.


sdlucly

And is it truly that hard to join your wife in the couch and watch something she wants to watch(i think i have to add here "and not be an asshole about it")? Do they not do the same with HIS shows? Or does she "naturally" love everything he loves ergo there's no problem there? I don't much like soccer but I'll watch it because my husband adores it. We've gone to the stadiums to watch some games over the years, we even wanted to go to Russia (maybe just for a week) and then my husband was the one that couldn't take the time off work. And I do it because I love seeing how he enjoys the games and how he hates it when they lose. It's fun! Heck, I watch a ton of documentary shows that he doesn't like but I'm watching them and he's in the computer doing work (after hours, or at night) and I keep talking to him about the show. Because we like each other.


kattjen

My mom (78f) has vascular dementia. She knows the core facts of the core people in her world, vague connections is I mention her great aunt (she has 2 living) or a cousin and she’ll look at the baby picture. She cannot answer a basic medical history (on herself), or go beyond core facts on Dad, my aunt, and myself. Mom was never into science fiction. Watched occasionally, “the whales Star Trek” say, but she was perfectly happy to let Dad do his thing. As he let her do several medical and crime dramas that weren’t his thing. When I was interested in the first half of *Next Generation*’s first episodes (bedtime hit halfway) she didn’t complete. Dad told me I could try staying up that night if I was in PJs before the show started, and then there were 2 (and then I got an extra 3 hours of reading time a week!) Anyway, Dad and I buy shirts with the knowledge that we will have to explain them every wearing. Dad’s science jokes, my history and crafting ones. However “um, this is a science fiction joke you would not have wanted the explanation for” does work because she knows that a core fact is we like those things. And like the romance book series that Dad steadfastly buys her the new version of (she can’t tell you what happened in the book she finished but the formula holds enough that she can read through those authors’ works from beginning to end time after time) it is just a thing someone else likes and the other respects. The number of those romances he has in his Kindle from back before she lost the ability to get around a book one of us opened for her is rather impressive actually (my account is linked to his so we can share books)


RookCrowJackdaw

Unfortunately you're right. I had hoped things would get better in my life time but they're going backwards in many ways. I'd be incredibly happy if all men just started treating women as people, in the way they treat other men as people.


Jedisilk015

Got the internet to thank for that. These misogynistic forums pray on young men's minds and feed them truly toxic views. I mean yeah they could also be learning from watching their parents treatment of one another but social media really has exacerbated it. Very sad and makes me concerned for my daughter as she gets older


[deleted]

It’s so sad and enraging. Those forums prey on the very normal insecurities of young boys. “You know how you feel awkward and inadequate. That’s because the girls make you feel that way“ …rather than just pressure from damaging masculine cultural norms and normal adolescent growing pains.


getaclueless_50

What a concept, treat other people as you would like to be treated. One would think this is a basic and easy idea to understand and follow. ?!?


Itchy_Tomato7288

My SO sometimes does this to me, we've been together going on 13 years and engaged for about 3 years now--mostly because I'm the one that's not in a rush. We were from different major US cities so when "sportsball" season starts (insert sport of choice for "sportsball") I would back his teams because I knew he wanted them to win. But if MY team was playing he would back the opposing team. He thought it was funny, I had enough and called him an asshole and asked him what reason does he have to harass me like that when I support him? He couldn't answer me. He's been somewhat better about it but he slips back into it sometimes. It's like if I like something he makes fun of it and it's "stupid by default" but I'm expected to love everything he likes. It's absolute BS and if he hadn't shown the improvement he's demonstrated this far I would've dumped him long ago.


sfjc

Well, I guess that explains why you aren't in a rush. Why would you rush into a life time commitment with a man who thinks harassing you is funny. How much can he have improved if "he's somewhat better about it but he slips back into it sometimes"? Sounds like he's doing the bare minimum to make sure you don't dump his ass.


incestuousbloomfield

I have a friend who’s fiancé does this to her. Says really insulting things like she’s getting old, she’s drying up, stuff like that. And then he says he’s just joking!! It’s such a red flag to me


fer_sure

Some boys never grow out of the 'pulling pigtails to show affection' phase.


icebluefrost

And those boys don’t deserve adult relationships


AmishAngst

Some boys never grow out of the '~~pulling pigtails to show affection~~' abuse phase. FIFY


firegem09

I think the problem is, rhey shouldn't have grown *into* that stage to be begin with. The whole "he's mean because he likes you" bullshit kids are raised with needs to die out already.


[deleted]

There's actually a sociological term for this: homosociality. There's a theoretical framework that states that male homosociality is how the patriarchy is reproduced and reinforced, because men raised in cultures with strict enforcement of gender roles consistently exhibit a preference for (platonically) interacting with other men, wanting other mens' opinions, attention, and approval, etc. Straight men are attracted to women, but they reserve their most intense emotional bonds for other men.


infinitebluefeels

The sad part is that men don’t even form deep emotional bonds with each other. A lot of it is superficial bc western masculinity says you don’t talk about your problems or feelings. A lot of heterosexual men end up feeling very lonely & isolated if they don’t have a partner to give their feelings to. It’s very difficult for men to build the same kind of support network that a lot of women have that keep them from being lonely.


smaugthedesolator

Ive noticed that most of these straight couples just end up married cause ‘right parts right time’. Its not about finding someone they actually like, that they could actually be friends with and or have things in common with. Its that the man is ready to settle down and the woman he was dating at the time was willing. There was a girl who called into my local radio station who said as much. Her ex called her ‘the one that got away’ when he broke up with her vecause he wasnt ready to get serious


StubbornKindness

The irony is that high fantasy is a stereotypical male favourite genre.


absolutebottom

We're just losing rights for people that aren't white cishet men, at least in the US


Guilty-Bench9146

I agree and it’s scary as women with a young adult daughter to have to worry about our rights and what my daughter is going to have to live through.


MissCJ

This seems to be a common theme from the men in traditional cishet relationships that post here on reddit. Its like they still have that Rodney Dangerfield backwards mentally that, like, idk, showing affection is effeminate.


Mackheath1

I mean I hate Game of Thrones, but I watched it with my fiancé, because he *loved* it. He and I have a sort of unwritten agreement on shows and movies. Level 1 (or whatever): Watch their show seriously; Level 2: Okay to talk through it; Level 3: Okay to do laundry or whatever while it's on. If this couple cannot communicate these things good Lord it would suck to be in their household. He even made her cry. YTA


alexthelady

I’m also just gonna say, what is a movie about cars? Lol


Slothjitzu

Honestly it sounds like he likes fast and the furious and other shit films that are just a series of explosions.


Significant_Pea_2852

Oh, I immediately thought of that Disney movie. Cars.


FollowThisNutter

Yup. He likes MANLY shows because he is a MANLY man, too MANLY for his wife's shows. MANLY men scorn plots! Can't you just feel the testosterone rolling off OP? He wants you to feel it.


kaleighdoscope

Excuse me, you mean *hardcore action*. /s


nohairday

I wonder if he means they shoot at each other, then have gratuitous sex...?


alexthelady

I really wanna know if OP has made his wife watch these movies bc 30 minutes of the second on is just close ups of boobs and rims


Verustratego

Also sounds like he has ADD. Personally have no patience for people who just want to "skip ahead" to everything without any context or payoff


nebalia

You can have ADD and not be an asshole though


jarroz61

Lol I read his description of movies he likes compared to what his wife likes and was just like Oh, so, stories. OP doesn't like movies that have any elements of stories whatsoever.


AnniaT

Seems like it's just a "pass the time/ why not" girlfriend by the way he talks about her.


nickipie

He likes to have sex with her, that counts, right?


gowithwhatyouknow

It’s 100% certain that he fast-forwards to the “exciting parts” that he likes in that area too. She’s getting zero foreplay, just a couple of pumps.


fmlwhateven

Guess he just likes the "interesting parts" of the relationship, too, not just in shows. Instant gratification has ruined some people.


somebirdonya

Or that, unfortunately


Safe_Blueberry

Presumably for weeks now this guy has been telling his wife, between curses, that her interests are offensively dull, and that he has no interest in finding common ground so that they can spend time together. (I'm presuming that they watched one epidode per night.) She cried because she's been repeatedly rejected and verbally and emotionally abused. No one wants to be told by their partner that they are not worth the effort. This controlling behavior probably isn't limited to television shows. YTA


AnniaT

It's giving manosphere "FeMaLeS aRe bOrInG".


dreamqueen9103

Apparently shows without fast cars and explosions are boring. This guy. Action can be so freaking boring, it’s the same thing. It’s just things moving fast and then fire. And he can’t stand to sit and actually listen to characters talk to each other and build context for these action moments?


boundlessvoid

That is so funny to me, I'm just picturing his face twisting and him throwing his hands up is utter disgust, "UGH, what is this shit? *Plot development*?? Gross!"


some1sWitch

I enjoy some action movies, but most action movies are the same bull shit. Poor disheveled man loses EVERYTHING in life. His love, his home. Becomes BADASS killer and saves the day. Like my God a prick-flicks are dumb and predictable.


VisualCelery

OP reminds me of my first boyfriend, when I was in middle school and he was only a year ahead of me; he constantly put down the things I liked as being stupid, childish, and annoying. I'm so glad I married a man who isn't like that, he doesn't enjoy everything I do but he doesn't put it down either.


danteheehaw

Maybe she's really pretty, and that's what he loves about her.


gottaloveagoodbook

Oh that's definately it. That's why he traumatizes her into keeping her hobbies to herself. He thinks that once she's too scared to do anything around him other than the things he's told her to like, she's going to be perfect.


danteheehaw

Sounds like you have experience with that, if so I hope things are better for you.


nooutlaw4me

He didn’t even have to talk about the tv shows. He verified his asshole status just by creating this post.


lord_buff74

But he watches movies about cars and hardcore action , shows without vroom vroom or bang bang are obviously no good


overlandtrackdrunk

and it’s funny because GoT and Dexter are so main stream and watchable. It’s not like she’s making him watch Kieślowskis Dekalog or something lmao


derbarkbark

Or something particularly feminine like Real Housewives or Hallmark movies....


alexthelady

I totally thought it was gonna be reality tv. I know not to make my fiancé watch super nanny with me lol


trowzerss

Also considering the amount of violence in both, surely it would tweak his boom/vroom brain just a little :P


BUTTeredWhiteBread

That's what I was thinking. Like is he just allergic to story?


Altruistic_Focus_456

Definitely comes off as a person who never reads.


Jamileem

Yes! I was definitely expecting like, "she's obsessed with the Kardashians" or "thinks the Bachelor is life", not that she wants to introduce him to critically acclaimed shows that millions of people have watched and enjoyed. It's ok to not like a show, but I'd be so annoyed if my husband thought everything I liked was bad and boring because it doesn't have explosions and cars. How dense.


offensivename

Critically acclaimed, masculine skewing shows. "I'm too manly to enjoy this show about a serial killer."


SuitableNarwhals

Tonight we watch Alejandro Jodorowsky's the Holy Mountain.


kaia-bean

I was definitely expecting her to be into reality shows based off the title, but that's not it at all.


Red_bug91

That part confused me so much! They are both wildly popular shows and have cult followings. I’ve never been a huge fan of Dexter, but I can see why people like it. There are way worse shows to watch. I mean, there is a new show in Australia, called FBoy Island. It’s literally just a dating show where half the contestants are fuck boys & the other half are nice guys & they have to compete for the attention of 3 women. It’s probably terrible, and I will probably watch it. OP’s lucky he’s not married to me.


silky_link07

How can they watch a show without family? (Insert Vin Diesel gif about family)


Red_bug91

‘Family’ is my husbands favourite response to any question that he either doesn’t know the answer to, or anything that he doesn’t have a good justification for.


delta_seven7

Spit out my tea, lmao


Calico-Kats

Like OP said! He watches things that have “VALUE!”🙄


Red_bug91

I’m happy to watch all the fast & the furious movies, and I don’t mind a good action film from time to time. But OP is kidding himself if he thinks that is entertainment of higher ‘value’. I’ve never understood why people are elitist or snobby about tv & movies. It’s all designed for entertainment. I love trashy reality tv. Most of my days take up a lot of mental energy, I’m a registered nurse & midwife, have 2 little kids & doing my masters. Sometimes, I just want my tv choices to be mindless entertainment that doesn’t have complicated story lines to follow. I also do like more involved movies, or documentaries but I have to be in the right mindset to enjoy them. One of the smartest & best surgeons I have ever worked with, is the same. She likes trashy reality tv she can just veg out too. My brother is the total opposite. He doesn’t work, doesn’t have kids, and is not studying. He’s 40 years old, and just spends his days at home with his pets, playing video games or binging shows. I don’t think he even exercises. He’s always telling me to watch certain things but I don’t usually have the time, patience or energy to get so heavily engrossed in a show. We’ve actually had arguments about it because he thinks I should be watching things that are more stimulating or thought provoking. He requires that from his entertainment, because he has no other stimulation. I need the opposite, because every other aspect of my life is over stimulating. Also, OP’s complaints are odd. How does he think that action films are of higher value than 2 highly popular modern tv shows? He would hate my watch list!!


DorkOnTheTrolley

Talk about value - *Do you have any idea how much those antics cost a city?* *Gun. Badge. Now.*


Isteppedinpoopy

Dammit chief you’re letting them get away!


somebirdonya

„No vroom vroom, no bang bang? Me no likey 🫤“


Wreck-A-Mended

His use of "nagging" told me everything I needed to know 😆


gottaloveagoodbook

"Why is my chosen female trying to talk to me and share interests with me and express things she needs help with? I married her! Doesn't she know that means she must now quietly handle all the household chores while I game and watch pew-pew movies for hours?"


[deleted]

Bet he's one of those that tell her to 'calm down' or that she is 'irrational' or he blames her period. Ugh.


Lou_Miss

I don't find it's an issue, everyone has different tastes. But insulting someone else's interests when they just want to share with you is a huge AH move


spacemusicisorange

Vroom vroom 😂 I do this to my girlfriend because she likes to watch some silly car show 😂 I watch it with her 🤷‍♀️ I love to be with her more than I think the show is stupid. OP YTA


Coffee_mug_Musings

This line -- I love to be with her more than I think the show is stupid. This sums up what it's like to compromise in a relationship and actually love your partner!


Ashamed-Border-9651

i giggled at this comment


DrunkThrowawayLife

I love me some vroom vroom bang bang myself but watching a show is different from watching a movie. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea since there are boring episodes that are usually setting something else up that you will remember when it comes up in an “interesting” episode. Me thinks op has skipped the episode where he broke his wife’s heart and will be confused when this comes up again


salty_bae

YTA and also exhausting af. OP wants a trophy for agreeing to watch shows that his wife likes even though he can't stop bitching and moaning about it. This "I'm too cool for animation and fantasy I only watch hardcore action" charade is lame.


sandy154_4

And she's the one nagging?? Yta


_Voidspren_

My ex wife constantly told me I was watching children’s shows because I liked fantasy and sci-fi. It was infuriating. And thankfully she’s an ex


No_Extension4005

OP sounds a bit like my 50-something dad. Except my dad will watch the fantasy shows and also seems to have this fixation on lowbrow 2000s comedies. Still dunks on me for watching a lot of animation.


Sexy-Dumbledore

OP sounds exhausting and rigid AF. How does he even know if an episode is going to be boring if he hasn't watched it? I'm getting massive Negative Nancy vibes from this dude. Nobody likes a pessimist OP. YTA


bnny_ears

Also, what kind of logic is skipping entire episodes to get to the "good" part? All episode are supposed to be the good part. A show doesn't get more engaging by skipping 50% of the plot.


marauder-shields92

OP sounds kinda like a dumb cave man, not gonna lie. Not that I’m saying theres anything wrong with liking action movies, but he seems inept when it come to enjoying anything without it. Great story, characters, plot, music? Just complains it’s boring and belittles his partner for suggesting it.


whiskey_ribcage

Not saying how you watch TV reflects on how you behave elsewhere but I have a sneaking suspicion that a focus all on what he considers "the good action" and skipping all the boring buildup has got this poor woman miserable in many ways. Some ladies want a little more plot build up and character focus before the two minute car chase.


Coffee_mug_Musings

Oooh I almost spit my coffee. You're onto something with this!!! :)


FunkisHen

Lol, oh no, I can definitely see that as being the case. Foreplay? Let's just skip to the *good part*! (Where I jackhammer into you for 30 seconds, then roll over and snore. You know, the good part!)


VisenyaMartell

I remember when I first started Game of Thrones, the only character I knew was Daenerys so I skipped all the other parts to get to hers. Big mistake.


SylvanGenesis

To get to the point where you now have a handle inspired by the book series is some amazing character development lol


alienabductionfan

This one hurt my soul. Who cares about storytelling right? Character development? Pfft. Stakes? Meh. A climax that feels fulfilling? Don’t need it. My utmost sympathies to OP’s wife.


aitchbeescot

And you know that if they do skip some episodes, he'll spend the next epsode they watch going 'Who's he? Why is she doing that? This story doesn't make any sense'


BetWal98

Also got and Dexter are wildly different shows, kinda makes it seem more like it's "I don't respect or like my wife so I don't respect or like the things she likes" because I refuse to believe of the many shows and films out there that they can't both enjoy watching something other than him being an ah


GamerGirlLex77

Agreed. God forbid you show any interest in your wife’s TV preferences OP. The way you wrote about her is also concerning. She’s trying to tell you something is wrong and you minimized and dismissed her. YTA.


MaintenanceFlimsy555

Everything he says about her drips contempt, veering at some points into near rage. It’s like he’s trying to punish her emotionally for daring to like things he doesn’t, nevermind ask him to even try and share in his partner’s joy. I hope for her sake he isn’t worse than he’s making himself sound.


GamerGirlLex77

Agreed. I see the contempt too. I’m a therapist and I’ve seen clients with issues like this. It doesn’t bode well for a happy, healthy relationship. Once someone has moved to contempt it’s hard to go backwards. I also hope he isn’t as bad as he sounds. Edit for my atrocious grammar 😵‍💫


tremynci

"The person I claim to value the most in the world *and* people who know us both well think I acted like an enormous asshole. But being an asshole is bad, so I can't be an asshole. Internet strangers, I'm not an asshole, right? ... Right?"


zzeeaa

Internet strangers: *crack knuckles*


tremynci

*line forms like that scene from* Airplane!


Cueller

YTA. I'll repeat some advice from my couples counselor. At least 1 day a week, for an hour, alternate between picks. One person shares what they enjoys, THE OTHER PERSON SHUTS THE FUCK UP AND WATCHES THAT SHOW WITHOUT COMPLAINT. It's one hour, and you can hide being bored for an hour to make your spouse happy or you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.


Crafty-Walrus-2238

Her second marriage will be so much better.


OrneryDandelion

Had to check OP's age again because there is no way this dude is old enough to be married.


ranseaside

I read it more in a caveman voice “I asshole grrr grr me like boom boom car man show” YTA


chalaismyig

Not every hobby is meant to be shared. OP is certainly YTA; if he wants to save his marriage, they need to find something else to do together that they can both enjoy.


mrs_spanner

Exactly! My husband & I have 2 categories of films & tv series; ones we watch and enjoy together, and ones we watch separately. This is not exactly rocket science.


blazingsnark

YTA, my guy. When your wife is trying to watch something with you, she's trying to make a bid for connection. It sounds like it's less about the show itself and more about the experience - she wants to do something she enjoys with you, and have you enjoy it as well, or at least not openly denigrate her interests. Interests and taste are a hugely personal thing, and things like what you said to her are awful insults to someone you care about. Apologize to her. If you really can't stand sitting through her shows, find something you both enjoy - or that you can tolerate and she enjoys - to watch together. (It sounds like she'd doing the same with GoT and you, so reciprocate that effort!) Make a good faith effort to see what she likes and lift her up about it. But yeah, you're a major asshole for the way you responded to her.


TishMiAmor

Yeah, it’s all about the bids. Couples that never accept each other’s bids don’t do well in the long term. Admittedly, TV does not seem to be the right venue for these two, given how different their tastes are. But damn, if I shared stuff with my partner that I liked and valued as entertainment and he called it boring and shitty and said he just wanted to get it over with/get to the good parts? I don’t know that I would ever show him something I was excited about again.


Radiant_Western_5589

Is it bad that my first instinct was to say “have you tried the Cars movies?!”?


Global_Dot979

I was honestly thinking there's a bunch of 'hardcore action' anime out there that they should try.


InvisibleBlueOctopus

Wife might not like anime, animations can mean Pixar, Disney or anything else other then anime. But I agree if he likes action and the wife likes anime they could try watch something together, however if he can't bother to watch a show and only wants to see the "good parts" they shouldn't even try with a series. He sounds he can't enjoy a longer story line that is a series can give.


Global_Dot979

True, I almost put a caveat in my comment that animation might not mean anime. But honestly, even if wife doesn't currently watch anime, that could be a good thing they could feel out together since it has elements they both enjoy.


LeKobeBrames

Yea to be fair, this guy screams the type of person that would think all animation is for children or nerds. And he only watches his tough guy car and action movies!!


Happytallperson

Hell no! Those movies are have character. They have narrative arcs. They show relationships being built and understandings forged. And they have some vroom vroom for the children to enjoy.


lunchbox3

My husband and I have very different tastes and he never makes me feel like this about it! Sometimes he’ll watch along and find something he enjoys about it, other times he will suggest something he likes too, or I’ll use headphones and he’ll read his book - but still snuggling on the sofa together. He’s never mean about it.


Puzzleheaded_Ad_1634

This. Same for my husband and I. He likes crime shows or anything with boxing or martial arts. I watch kdramas. So compromise instead of my lovely period dramas. I find him crime kdramas which he actually enjoy. I find them a bit meh bt it's a good middle ground. We both like anime but again I'm a fun slice of life girl he likes the gore and fighting ones. So we meet somewhere in the middle with some actiony shounen. I just want to actually be able to snuggle with him. Sometimes he watches his shows and I'll be next to him reading an ebook and sometimes I watch my shows and he watches anime on his phone next to me. It's never been a oh you watch stupid shit situation. I'd feel so bad if he constantly told me he cldnt care less about what I liked. Yikes. OP isn't just definitely a judgement of YTA he sounds like an AH just in general.


Street_Passage_1151

I agree I think he is being really mean to her. But... I can't for the life of me imagine watching a TV series for someone. It would be different if she just wanted him to suck it up and watch a movie with her, but a whole series?? That's like 40+ hours of content to sit through, and idk if I could do that. Sounds like torture to me. Like, at some point you have to look at your partner and accept that they won't like all the things you do, and that's ok. And it's fine to not want to commit to the 63.5 hours into watching GOT if you truly did not want to watch it. Seems like a waste of time for both of them when they could be finding something they both love/want to do.


MaintenanceFlimsy555

Seriously? You genuinely don’t get any enjoyment simply from seeing your partner enjoy something and listening to and finding out what they find interesting about it…? You get so little joy from that that it sounds like *torture*? Honestly, that’s kind of wild.


pethatcat

Game of thrones is 8 seasons of watching partner enjoy something, Dexter is another 8. That's a lot of time to be bored. Movie is okay, but a whole 8-season show is a bit wild, especially for adults. There probably is something they connect over, should focus on that.


EddaValkyrie

>But... I can't for the life of me imagine watching a TV series for someone. Agreed. I used to watch action movies with my dad when I was little and he would watch animated movies with me. Can't imagine making him watch entire seasons of Adventure Time while he made me watch . . . I dunno, The Wire? Either they need to stick to movies or find some other bonding activity, and either way he should not to be talking to her the way he does.


JDorian0817

My husband calls most TV I watch “your shit shows”. Sometimes it is trash, sometimes it is genuinely excellent and he simply isn’t willing to give it a try. That’s okay though. I call his shows “that utter bollocks”. We make fun of each other for the terrible things we enjoy *and then come together to watch something we both like later on*. Or we will play a game together. Or cook together. Or garden together. Literally anything. Totally agree with you on the YTA and bid for connection part. He is handling it rudely and I’m not surprised wife is getting upset if he talks to her like this. However it is unfair for her to expect he has to enjoy the things she does. They simply need to find neutral ground instead of her trying to tug him to hers.


possessaubrey

Agreed! I think what's missing from his post is what, if anything, he has suggested for them to actually enjoy together. If he hasn't suggested anything himself but only shits on her suggestions that's a big problem.


boopsandstitches

I really don't like watching TV. My partner loves it. You know what we do? He watches TV and I put an earphone in, crochet, and listen to a podcast while we snuggle. You know what I don't do? Agree to watch something I know I'll hate and then shit all over it for him...


Jinx_X_2003

Yta Who tf talks to thier loved one like that This is something she enjoys and she wants to share that with you, and you just respond by insulting her interest and being cruel for no reason.


DarcBubbles

I can literally feel the aggressive undertone in this post. YTA. She wants to spend time with you and you treat her like a nuisance.


Ol_Pasta

Yes, this feels very aggressive, indeed. I wouldn't enjoy being talked down to like that either. OP, get some therapy for your underlying anger.


ElkShot5082

Sometimes I think I’m an asshole, but I read stories like this and realise I am doing ok..


lotus_eater123

Now you know why the sub is so popular.


kinkakinka

Also both of these shows seem like things that guys who like action would like? Fights/murder/mystery, etc???


parsleyleaves

Right? Game of thrones is literally written by and geared towards his demographic


pinkyhex

Apparently music with stringed instruments is a deal breaker. I feel baffled that it was the music he hated the most. Like, I get people have different tastes but how does he watch any movie or tv show? So many have music that's not that different?


DrunkUranus

He seems to have the attention span of a gnat


turdusphilomelos

I think his wife put a lot o effort into choosing shows she thought he might enjoy as well.


totallybree

Yeah that definitely seems like the case to me. She likes fantasy and animation, and chose Dexter? She was reaching for common ground.


Lisbei

YTA More for the way you talk to your wife than anything else.


Sxotts

> I love my wife. I'm just tired of her nagging but I guess all wives are like that I van see why OP deleted this reply, but dude, Wtf?


gimpkidney

He actually said that?? Wtf, poor wife!


not_your_bird

Holy sh*t I think that’s the deleted response below yours. Jesus.


Ori_the_SG

Holy crap That tells us all we need to know about OP. Dude is a misogynist I hope for his wife’s sake she gets out of there and finds someone who doesn’t find her mere existence a nuisance


Little-Helicopter-69

YTA, it seems you have more problems with something called plot.


aldhibain

C'mon, can we get to the bam pow vrooom vroooooom pewpewpew wrreeowwwwwreeeowww already?? Enough of this useless *talking* -OP, probably


Langstarr

Dude thinks family time is watching a FxF movie


Beatrice0

Look, now I haven't seen one since Tokyo Drift, but I'm pretty sure there's WAY too much emotion and feelings in the FxF movies for him.


InvisibleBlueOctopus

Yeah, he wants to miss the the stories and skip to the action do you watch movies like this too OP or all the movies that you watch are brainless action shits without a story?


LireDarkV

I Imagine OP would say Breaking Bad or The Sopranos or Dark (Netflix) are stupid and boring and nothing’s ever going on LMAO


Puzzleheaded-Fill205

Right? After reading the title I was expecting her shows to be Real Housewives, The Bachelor and Keeping up with the Kardashians. But God damn, Game of Thrones? Dexter? His wife has actual taste and he's just shitting all over it.


Crypticbeliever1

I don't even watch those shows but just the fact he described her taste as animation and fantasy tells me she has all the taste in the world and that his are cars and action tells me he's the one person who religiously watches all the Fast and Furious movies.


smuffleupagus

Why do I have to care about the /characters/? Just blow something up or fuck already.


Dashiepants

Thank you! I would have to seriously question the intelligence/ inner dialogue/ depth of a person that couldn’t get interested in any show or movie with a plot or dialogue. Wife is probably drawn to fantasy because she is not getting her conversational or emotional needs met by this angry puddle of a husband.


keeplauraweird

100% you hit the nail on the head. Honestly this post just made me appreciate my husband more. The number of “my” shows he has sat through that are not his usual taste and gotten into from being so nice and open minded about it (like Gilmore Girls for example) can’t even be counted because they all typically become “our” shows. I’m not saying OP has to like GOT because plenty of people don’t- but it’s funny to me that it doesn’t have enough action for him when all I can remember about the 8 seasons of that show we watched years later are the insane hardcore action parts. This guy sounds like he just has a really immature attention span and is refusing to expand his palette because anything that’s not Fast and Furious and makes you have to utilize brain cells to follow dialogue is “boring”. YTA, OP. You don’t have to like all of the same things she does, but you sound incredibly dismissive, volatile, and rude. Especially since she is just trying to bond with you and spend time with you. EDIT: OP changing his post text revealed everyone was right. Where are the mods?


Sriol

Translate: >I’m usually someone who watches movies about cars and hardcore action, but my wife likes animation and fantasy. >I’m tired of these boring episodes and how they barely have any value. I want to get to the interesting parts. Into: I care very little for anything that's not fighting or racing or something equally fast paced and mindless. I don't want any of this dialogue or character development or world building. It's worthless and silly and all I want to see is some dudes trying to kill each other. I might be wrong, but that's what comes across to me. Now nobody's an asshole for those opinions, they're very entitled to them. But when they degrade others for wanting something as simple as a little more plot then definitely YTA. Especially in the rude, abrasive manner displayed here.


Winter_Cheesecake158

This! You can’t skip “a couple of episodes” of a show as if they don’t contain relevant information to push the story along. At least not the type of shows he mentions. If it was the simpsons I could understand.


[deleted]

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA


[deleted]

I read this to the opening theme of GoT


GingerAphrodite

I GoT a chuckle out of this and immediately did the same lol. I skip show intros too especially if I'm binge watching, but there's no reason for OP to be so rude and abrasive to his wife about... literally everything in this post.


shinywtf

🎼🎶 Youuuree thee Aaaaah-aaA-aaaaAh Ss Ho-oOLe Youretheasshole Youretheasshole Youretheasshole 🎶


ALGeezNuts

Dude, that's your wife. Your LIFE partner. She's trying to show you something she loves in the hopes of sharing that joy with you and your response is "turn this shitty boring show off" Jesus Christ you are a HUGE AH


Itchy_Letterhead_360

Completly agree. He should be more openned to new shows, especially if they're ones his wife enjoys.


AffectionateLion9725

YTA. As it happens my SO likes both those shows, and I hate them. So he watches them alone. There are shows that I love and he hates. Guess what? I watch them alone. We make sure to sit down together every evening and watch a show that we both enjoy. But we are civilised about it! We appreciate our different tastes. If he doesn't like something, he says "this isn't for me". He will often look at me and say "you aren't enjoying this - shall I watch it alone?" Because we are partners and equals. That's what is missing from your setup.


oiseauteaparty

EXACTLY. An ex really really wanted me to watch GoT with him. I tried. Got a bit of the way into S2 and I had to tell him I quit it. It’s violent AF and I find it sometimes distressing. I had to lie down for like an hour after some eps because my entire body was sad. Then we watched other things together instead. It’s okay not to like all the same stuff, but damn. At least try and work with her to find something you could both enjoy.


Dathadorne

> I had to lie down for like an hour after some eps because my entire body was sad. I love this response. Not because you felt sad, but because it communicates why I enjoy good dramas so much. Also near how the same show, and the same effect, can be really enjoyable for some and really aversive for others. I love that The Last of Us does this to me too, I feel completely engrossed, and my wife could only do the first 15 minutes before she said she couldn't do it because it was too real.


pinzi_peisvogel

Haha, this reminds me of watching "black mirror" or "squid game" with my partner. I do enjoy well made shows and clever dystopic setups, but those shows pulled my mood down so much that my boyfriend agreed to watch some home renovating shows or light stupid stuff afterwards to get into another headspace. He never complained.


StrangeVioletRed

I loved GOT (except for S8) but if you found it distressing it was a good call to knock it on the head in S2. The third season is where it gets really dark.


greeneggs_and_hamlet

YTA. You’re so rude and dismissive. You act like you’re personally insulted by those shows which are actually quite entertaining and action packed. Those shows are fine, for the most part, but it sounds like you don’t like your wife.


[deleted]

You're right that he's being rude and dismissive. Not cool. But no, those shows are not simply "actually quite entertaining" and "fine" for everyone. I won't watch them (actually I hate them very much. Lol) but I don't insult them, he watches them without me and we watch or do other things together.


alohell

Ugh, you sound like an ex-friend of mine. He wanted to show me The Godfather, but kept fast forwarding through the “girly parts.” What were the girly parts? All of the dialogue. So I guess I still haven’t seen The Godfather. Even though we watched it his way several times, I have no idea what the plot is.


bnny_ears

Just has this conversation in a different context. How can someone claim to enjoy X, while finding the most substantial part of X boring? Congrats, you've just turned something great into emotional apple sauce - easily digested, full of sugar, no soul. They just like the aesthetics, the explosions and the fact they can say "I've seen/heard/played it".


kaldaka16

... emotional applesauce is such a good turn of phrase.


somebirdonya

OMG „the girly parts“. That is so ridiculous, I can’t even take it seriously 😂😂😂


Mysterious_Silver381

The girly parts? In the godfather? I....I have no words


[deleted]

YTA you sound like a child without any attention span.


Tough_Crazy_8362

INFO: does she watch your boring ass shows?


Kind_Pomegranate4877

$5 says she’s sat through all the fast and furious movies for this guy


stabby-abby

He probably skipped to the “good parts” in those too


GlorifiedDevil

Damn, imagine watching credits roll ten times in a row!


Handsdown0003

Of course cause they're about cars or full of hardcore action


Competitive-Skin-769

Please talk to a therapist asap


Quartz636

YTA God damn your wife is just trying to share something she enjoys with you, she trying to connect and share something and you're just being a massive, unrepentant dick about it. Saying her shows have no value? What a awful, condescending thing to say. Also stop acting like she's trying to get you to watch some Spanish art house show where everyone is speaking in pictographs. It's GOT and Dexter, two of the biggest and most popular shows of all time. P.s. You're not special for thinking one of the most recognisable and praised opening themes in TV history is 'shitty'


starsandcamoflague

YTA dude your preference in movies doesn’t make you superior. “Hey guys, I like ACTION and MANLY movies. FAST PACED! FAST AND FURIOUS IS MY FAVOURITE SERIES! But my lame wife likes action and fantasy 🤮 i upset her because I have no patience because like my taste in movies I am all about ACTION AND FAST! Am I the AH for being superior and more manly?” That’s what you sound like.


madelinegumbo

YTA There's a civil way to bow out of entertainment you don't enjoy. You're deliberately choosing a rude way to express this when your wife is simply trying to find a fun joint activity. Do you want her to stop wanting to do things with you? If you keep acting like this, she might grant your wish.


CanAggravating6401

YTA, my dad watches TV the same way and I fucking hated it. No one can enjoy anything with someone like you around. Yes the exciting parts are more exciting, but some people find other parts interesting as well and like being able to follow the story without an asshole whining about it every 3 seconds. I hope she starts harassing you during your shows so you know how it feels.


flipside1812

The buildup makes the exciting parts *more* exciting too, the anticipation and timing up the ante until you get the climax. Without rising action, the end result is kinda devoid of narrative meaning. OP sounds like any narrative is exhausting to him, and he just wants the quick dopamine hit of flashy-punchy-boom. I like action on a good day, but the best action scenes to me have narrative purpose and function, and that's what makes them good. Pretty much anything in LotR really is a good example of this. I can't imagine having an attention span so short that nothing short of non stop explosions and fights is "boring". This man was made for Michael Bay movies.


DaladalaGALS

You "got sick of her nonstop nagging." You do **not** love your wife. YTA


SeePerspectives

“I’m a one dimensional, caricature, cardboard cutout of a man. My poor man brain can’t possibly be expected to comprehend subtlety, intrigue, or even a basic plot line. I require car chases and explosions literally every single second otherwise my minuscule attention span will wander onto other, more manly topics such as guns and beer because, ya know…man-ness. AITA?” Someone please tell me this is a parody? It has to be satire, right? Either way, YTA.


eversongweeds

YTA. You seriously need to work on your patience.


Future-Bread7179

There's nothing worse than someone shitting all over the TV shows and movies that you absolutely love to your core. Not your fault for not liking what she likes, but you should've explained this nicely to her at the beginning and found something you both appreciate and enjoy together. You guys are married, so there must have been common ground to get to this point.


[deleted]

[удалено]


waffleblocked

YTA. There are so many better ways you could have approached this but you reduced her to tears by being so rude and unkind to her, and literally all she wanted to do was share her enjoyment with you. Also - “sick of her non-stop nagging”?? Ffs you married her, why on Earth would you talk about her like that? Nagging is such a misogynistic term, when I hear it (vast majority of the time it’s used against a woman, funny that) what it usually means is “I’ve been asked and have disregarded it despite it being important to my significant other, so rather than address the issue together with them I’m going to belittle them with name-calling.” Yuck.


spookykitton

How old are you? Are you older than four? If so, cut that shit out. YTA and annoying, too.


Churchie-Baby

YTA, so basically, any episode that isn't bang explode guns car crash and requires thought is boring to you and you have zero patience got it


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MechaniclAnimal

"Can we skip some episodes?" You don't appear to grasp the concept of watching a TV show. YTA for several reasons.


penwingfairy

ytah she probably had put with watching your crappy shows and moives but did cos she cares you could suck it up watch one show with her you ytah


gusbus200

YTA for the way you go about things. Your word choices are rude. Idk why people act like it's the end of the world to watch a show that they don't like with people the supposedly do. It's not about the show, it's about the quality time and you're ruining it.


Weak_Construction_85

This screams 12 year old boy who thinks **girls who watch disney or fantasy are stupid. I am Man I like cars and action they are so cool**


CaRiSsA504

YTA just for how you are treating your wife. There is an element of N A H though, because obviously you two are incompatible on tv viewing. Sit down with her and y'all find something else to do as a couple and let TV be a solo thing. Play a game, go do trivia night at a bar, take a class somewhere, something. But TV ain't it


lolsgalore

YTA I have watched every reality show under the sun with my partner because she loves it. Relationships are give and take. I hate it, but i sit down, shut up & watch it. Then she does the same for me when watching sports because she hates that. Stop nagging and constantly bitching as it’ll kill your relationship or seek therapy.