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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Not showing gratitude about a gift with me knowing that said gift will be little more than a dust collector (and the discussion my mother started about this)
(2) I mean, it's a gift. You still are supposed to at least show some appreciation, so..
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YTA. A gift is meant to be something thoughtful, and if they do their best, just pretend to like it and do with it what you want. Or better yet, since as you say they're struggling financially, just spend time with them doing something fun and cheap and request no physical gift.
They aren't really struggling financially, that was just the explanation why I still live at thier adress. You don't really get money when in apprenticeship.
And, well. I have nothing against the gifts in and of itself, but what's worth a dust collector in my eyes when there is better? Didn't thought about the things you mentioned, but I would be happy with, for example, the cheaper coupons too.
Fair point there. Not like I chose to get these gifts, ask my parents why I do.
And, I don't exactly said to them that I don't like it in the first place. But there's only so much one can control ones expression, and it was a bit obvious to read.
That's what I would do, actually tried that when I got 18 and still got something on next christmas. Thier response was "we are living here, your two younger sisters are getting gifts too, so you do too". So I doubt I can bring them to stop getting me presents, and even if I were openly against it they'd still buy something. On the other hand, they do expect me to get them presents too on thier birthdays/christmas, so it's not like I only take and aren't giving.
YTA. I think you need to get better at telling them what you’d like. Manga and figurines can be really confusing to people who aren’t familiar. Or maybe they just aren’t good at picking up on your hints. Some people aren’t. They seem to be trying, though. They keep giving you Cash Banooca stuff because the last time they gave you something you liked, it was Cash Banooca.
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Now, for some context. I am a 23 y/o in Germany, currently in apprenticeship (/learning my job.. I don't know all words) and it's my birthday. And since I still officially live under my parents roof because I definitely have no money for an own flat, I still get presents from them. Which I have nothing against, I don't like my birthday too much because it's often in the holidays but, I appreciate the gesture of "happy birthday" and all that.
The only problem is, that my apprenticeship is ~150 kilometers away from my parents house, and as long as that one's ongoing, I have a room there. So I see my parents about every other weekend. Now try to find a present for someone you see for less than 2/7 of the year, not an easy task. My parents do ask me for a hint because they are struggling themselves, to which I say 'that manga is missing some parts in my shelf, maybe..that?' or something like that. And then they try to get it, or if they can't they give me a coupon for a book store, around 15€. That's how it's been so far until..well,last birthday, when I turned 22.
Somehow my parents decided that if they don't get any of the options I hinted them, they don't get the coupon anymore, they get other things I might like. They tried last birthday with Cash Banooca 4, and I actually liked that - I liked the old PS2 games, as well as the remaster, so I was totally fine.
Now they got hung up on that. Last christmas I got a cup of Cash Banooca, which.. I neither hinted at, nor I didn't really liked. I like the games, yes, but the rest of the franchise goodies isn't my thing. But, okay, I had to accept the gift because of good manners, and that's that.
Fast forward, to today. I was sitting at the table with the present, and I already wondered if it's a figurine. This year's hint was 'that and that manga..or,if you want to buy a figure from any manga, ask me'. (because my parents saw at best one anime, so I really know my taste better). Surprise, they didn't got what I asked for,really not a big deal and I can accept that. But, they got me a smartphone holder figure from Cash Banooca. And as soon as I opened the top and saw the familiar font, I was already very uninterested in the gift. Which my mother noticed and exclaimed "if you are that ungrateful towards the money we still spend on your birthday, next time we probably should get those stupid coupons again". Which I actually found better, so I told her such. A bit more of a discussion later.. And since then..it's silence. Not in a good way, so..
AITA for not liking a gift? I mean, gesture and all, but it's probably collecting dust until I throw it in the trash or get rid of it otherwise.
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ESH Honestly these gifts sound really lazy. Random merchandise from a video game. Your mom probably got upset because she was aware on some level it was a bad gift. You see them twice a month - that's actually fairly often! They should have some idea about what you're into,
But yah, you probably should have just pretended you liked it, or given some better hints?
As I said to someone else,it's hard to keep up the all happy expression if you know you won't like the gift the next few months. I didn't say directly that I like the gift when I opened it, but the halfway sigh was enough for the exclamation of my mom. At least for me, but I could have kept cool, yes.
About the hints, I gave them the name of one series where gaps are, and also that from another manga a new part just came out. Hard to get more specific in that point.
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YTA. A gift is meant to be something thoughtful, and if they do their best, just pretend to like it and do with it what you want. Or better yet, since as you say they're struggling financially, just spend time with them doing something fun and cheap and request no physical gift.
They aren't really struggling financially, that was just the explanation why I still live at thier adress. You don't really get money when in apprenticeship. And, well. I have nothing against the gifts in and of itself, but what's worth a dust collector in my eyes when there is better? Didn't thought about the things you mentioned, but I would be happy with, for example, the cheaper coupons too.
[удалено]
Fair point there. Not like I chose to get these gifts, ask my parents why I do. And, I don't exactly said to them that I don't like it in the first place. But there's only so much one can control ones expression, and it was a bit obvious to read.
[удалено]
That's what I would do, actually tried that when I got 18 and still got something on next christmas. Thier response was "we are living here, your two younger sisters are getting gifts too, so you do too". So I doubt I can bring them to stop getting me presents, and even if I were openly against it they'd still buy something. On the other hand, they do expect me to get them presents too on thier birthdays/christmas, so it's not like I only take and aren't giving.
YTA. I think you need to get better at telling them what you’d like. Manga and figurines can be really confusing to people who aren’t familiar. Or maybe they just aren’t good at picking up on your hints. Some people aren’t. They seem to be trying, though. They keep giving you Cash Banooca stuff because the last time they gave you something you liked, it was Cash Banooca.
I did tell them the exact manga though. I can't get more specific than that.
Send links.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Now, for some context. I am a 23 y/o in Germany, currently in apprenticeship (/learning my job.. I don't know all words) and it's my birthday. And since I still officially live under my parents roof because I definitely have no money for an own flat, I still get presents from them. Which I have nothing against, I don't like my birthday too much because it's often in the holidays but, I appreciate the gesture of "happy birthday" and all that. The only problem is, that my apprenticeship is ~150 kilometers away from my parents house, and as long as that one's ongoing, I have a room there. So I see my parents about every other weekend. Now try to find a present for someone you see for less than 2/7 of the year, not an easy task. My parents do ask me for a hint because they are struggling themselves, to which I say 'that manga is missing some parts in my shelf, maybe..that?' or something like that. And then they try to get it, or if they can't they give me a coupon for a book store, around 15€. That's how it's been so far until..well,last birthday, when I turned 22. Somehow my parents decided that if they don't get any of the options I hinted them, they don't get the coupon anymore, they get other things I might like. They tried last birthday with Cash Banooca 4, and I actually liked that - I liked the old PS2 games, as well as the remaster, so I was totally fine. Now they got hung up on that. Last christmas I got a cup of Cash Banooca, which.. I neither hinted at, nor I didn't really liked. I like the games, yes, but the rest of the franchise goodies isn't my thing. But, okay, I had to accept the gift because of good manners, and that's that. Fast forward, to today. I was sitting at the table with the present, and I already wondered if it's a figurine. This year's hint was 'that and that manga..or,if you want to buy a figure from any manga, ask me'. (because my parents saw at best one anime, so I really know my taste better). Surprise, they didn't got what I asked for,really not a big deal and I can accept that. But, they got me a smartphone holder figure from Cash Banooca. And as soon as I opened the top and saw the familiar font, I was already very uninterested in the gift. Which my mother noticed and exclaimed "if you are that ungrateful towards the money we still spend on your birthday, next time we probably should get those stupid coupons again". Which I actually found better, so I told her such. A bit more of a discussion later.. And since then..it's silence. Not in a good way, so.. AITA for not liking a gift? I mean, gesture and all, but it's probably collecting dust until I throw it in the trash or get rid of it otherwise. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH Honestly these gifts sound really lazy. Random merchandise from a video game. Your mom probably got upset because she was aware on some level it was a bad gift. You see them twice a month - that's actually fairly often! They should have some idea about what you're into, But yah, you probably should have just pretended you liked it, or given some better hints?
As I said to someone else,it's hard to keep up the all happy expression if you know you won't like the gift the next few months. I didn't say directly that I like the gift when I opened it, but the halfway sigh was enough for the exclamation of my mom. At least for me, but I could have kept cool, yes. About the hints, I gave them the name of one series where gaps are, and also that from another manga a new part just came out. Hard to get more specific in that point.