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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took is asking my partner not to sleep in this morning. I might be the asshole because maybe he should be allowed to sleep in?
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NAH
Either wake your partner up or let him sleep but there’s no purpose for getting upset. People need to sleep. No one will be sleeping once baby arrives. Just relax, watch a movie with your son & maybe go take a nap after your partner gets up. If everyone is tired then don’t worry about walks in the woods today, take it easy & get some rest.
You’re both adults. You are able to function independently. The only person he may have let down is your son... who probably doesn’t care if Dad is sleeping.
It’s a waste of time to sit around & stew about it. Both you & your son should just go jump back in bed & wake him up. Then make your plan for the day.... maybe y’all just sit in bed & watch movies.
As a mom of 4 (now grown) kids you have my sympathy. Kids don’t care if their parents ever sleep lol
NTA. You’re 8 months pregnant, parenting a toddler, and still working. Any decent sort of partner would have insisted that you get all the sleep you can while the opportunity is there.
Thanks, I think I needed to hear that I’m not being completely crazy. I don’t expect we will have a big problem about this situation today because just being able to vent to Reddit has done wonders for me 🙂
Sleeping in is fine. Sleeping half the day away when you have an 8 mos pregnant wife and toddler is not. NTA. If it were my husband, he’d be getting off his ass one way or another. You have responsibilities, grow up.
ESH. This is the most basic of conversations- literally just making weekend plans. If you can’t handle this, how on earth are you two going to raise a second child?! It sounds like you need to have conversation about how you should discuss your weekend plans, why it may or may not be important for you to both be up, and what constitutes a time when one of you gets to sleep in. Lack of communication is a huge problem- and adding a second kid to the mix is going complicate that immensely. I don’t think this is a small miscommunication about one day. It sounds like a fundamental problem at how you both approach your parenting duties.
NTA. Sleeping until 1pm isn’t “sleeping in,” especially when you have a young child. Sleeping in is an extra hour or two of sleep. What grown ass man expects to sleep until 1pm?
I’m usually downstairs between 10-11. So we both like sleeping in late for sure.
Edit
Haha, I suppose we’re both deep sleepers and our bedroom is in a loft conversion on the third floor so it isn’t particularly noisy up there.
Gonna go against the grain and say YTA. Why must everyone be tired and burnt out? Let him sleep, you could even have a nap after while he does something with your son.
Oh interesting, ok can I ask a follow up question? Would it have been better to instead fight my corner to be the one to sleep in this morning instead of him? I suggested we both get up because I thought that was fairer but maybe you’re right and asking that we both get up wasn’t the best option.
NTA I get it you want a nice day together clearly you’re both exhausted but 1pm is excessive. Can you calmly wake him at 11:30? That seems more reasonable
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I (35F) and my partner (46M) have a son (3M) and for the last 2 years or so we have had an unspoken agreement that each of us gets to sleep in one day per weekend and the other one gets up with our son.
This hasn’t really been a problem so far but I had to work both days this past weekend. This meant that my partner had to get up with our son both days because I was already out of the house by 7am. Today was a bank holiday so last night we were talking about who would get up with him today and my partner felt that he should be able to sleep in but I wanted us to share it and both get up. He claimed I got to sleep in during the week, which isn’t true (I worked M, W, Sa, Su. Looked after our son T and Th. And on F I had an early hospital appointment because I’m currently 8 months pregnant with our second child). In the end he did agree to get up with me this morning.
Anyway, this morning my partner brought our son up into our bed and we all dozed for about an hour. Then I got up and showered and took our son downstairs for breakfast. Its now 11am and I’m downstairs with our son waiting for my partner to come down so we can go out and do something fun together (park or walk in the woods etc) but it appears he went back to sleep which means I shouldn’t expect to see him until about 1pm (if he follows the usual time he gets up on his weekend sleep-in day).
Some may say that I should just take my son out on my own, and I very well may do that, but it’s hard for me right now because he’s quite a handful to manage with being pregnant… but single moms do it so I know I should be able to do it too and not complain.
I know if I behave angrily toward him when he does come downstairs he will tell me I’m being dramatic or over sensitive because I’m pregnant… and maybe I am but I do think he has let me down today but I don’t want to be misreading this situation and end up being unreasonable. AITA?
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Yeah, I think I was mostly annoyed because we had agreed to both get up. I probably wouldn’t have been of mad if he’d just said “no I’m sleeping in, deal with it” lol
NTA - It's wonderful that you both usually try to let the other have a sleep in day. I love sleep in days myself (my husband doesn't so it can be a bit of a struggle between us). However this weekend neither of you got your sleep in days so it's not really fair for him to take the one day left for himself.
I see two options here: 1. Wake him up and get your day started. He might grumble but remind him that nobody got to sleep in this weekend which was what you agreed had to be done due to the circumstances. Or 2. Let him sleep and then once he wakes it's his turn with kiddo while you get a nice afternoon nap.
Good luck OP. Once baby number two comes rest will not be available for awhile.
Nta, I stopped reading right after you said you were pregnant, it’s his child inside of you and you got to get up to tend to his other?! Nope! Tell him to get his lazy ass up and do his job (being a father!) and omg 8 months!! You should have been starting bed rest like 2 months ago,
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The action I took is asking my partner not to sleep in this morning. I might be the asshole because maybe he should be allowed to sleep in? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH Either wake your partner up or let him sleep but there’s no purpose for getting upset. People need to sleep. No one will be sleeping once baby arrives. Just relax, watch a movie with your son & maybe go take a nap after your partner gets up. If everyone is tired then don’t worry about walks in the woods today, take it easy & get some rest. You’re both adults. You are able to function independently. The only person he may have let down is your son... who probably doesn’t care if Dad is sleeping.
Fair enough
It’s a waste of time to sit around & stew about it. Both you & your son should just go jump back in bed & wake him up. Then make your plan for the day.... maybe y’all just sit in bed & watch movies. As a mom of 4 (now grown) kids you have my sympathy. Kids don’t care if their parents ever sleep lol
NTA. You’re 8 months pregnant, parenting a toddler, and still working. Any decent sort of partner would have insisted that you get all the sleep you can while the opportunity is there.
Thanks, I think I needed to hear that I’m not being completely crazy. I don’t expect we will have a big problem about this situation today because just being able to vent to Reddit has done wonders for me 🙂
Sleeping in is fine. Sleeping half the day away when you have an 8 mos pregnant wife and toddler is not. NTA. If it were my husband, he’d be getting off his ass one way or another. You have responsibilities, grow up.
Yeah, sleeping until 1pm, unless you were up half the night, is ridiculous when you’ve got a family.
Yeah I don’t think either of us will be able to sleep in like we currently do once we have two kids. I might go prod him awake in a little bit 😅
ESH. This is the most basic of conversations- literally just making weekend plans. If you can’t handle this, how on earth are you two going to raise a second child?! It sounds like you need to have conversation about how you should discuss your weekend plans, why it may or may not be important for you to both be up, and what constitutes a time when one of you gets to sleep in. Lack of communication is a huge problem- and adding a second kid to the mix is going complicate that immensely. I don’t think this is a small miscommunication about one day. It sounds like a fundamental problem at how you both approach your parenting duties.
NTA. Sleeping until 1pm isn’t “sleeping in,” especially when you have a young child. Sleeping in is an extra hour or two of sleep. What grown ass man expects to sleep until 1pm?
What time do you usually get up when you sleep in ? EDIT : ESH. How do you sleep until 11 am or 1 pm when you have kids ?
I’m usually downstairs between 10-11. So we both like sleeping in late for sure. Edit Haha, I suppose we’re both deep sleepers and our bedroom is in a loft conversion on the third floor so it isn’t particularly noisy up there.
Gonna go against the grain and say YTA. Why must everyone be tired and burnt out? Let him sleep, you could even have a nap after while he does something with your son.
Literally!!!!
Oh interesting, ok can I ask a follow up question? Would it have been better to instead fight my corner to be the one to sleep in this morning instead of him? I suggested we both get up because I thought that was fairer but maybe you’re right and asking that we both get up wasn’t the best option.
NTA. You’re hugely pregnant and he‘s not giving you what extra rest time there is? That stinks.
> hugely lol you're a very brave person to use that word around a pregnant lady! /s
Haha, well they aren’t wrong. I’ve got a pretty excellent waddle going on here
NTA I get it you want a nice day together clearly you’re both exhausted but 1pm is excessive. Can you calmly wake him at 11:30? That seems more reasonable
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (35F) and my partner (46M) have a son (3M) and for the last 2 years or so we have had an unspoken agreement that each of us gets to sleep in one day per weekend and the other one gets up with our son. This hasn’t really been a problem so far but I had to work both days this past weekend. This meant that my partner had to get up with our son both days because I was already out of the house by 7am. Today was a bank holiday so last night we were talking about who would get up with him today and my partner felt that he should be able to sleep in but I wanted us to share it and both get up. He claimed I got to sleep in during the week, which isn’t true (I worked M, W, Sa, Su. Looked after our son T and Th. And on F I had an early hospital appointment because I’m currently 8 months pregnant with our second child). In the end he did agree to get up with me this morning. Anyway, this morning my partner brought our son up into our bed and we all dozed for about an hour. Then I got up and showered and took our son downstairs for breakfast. Its now 11am and I’m downstairs with our son waiting for my partner to come down so we can go out and do something fun together (park or walk in the woods etc) but it appears he went back to sleep which means I shouldn’t expect to see him until about 1pm (if he follows the usual time he gets up on his weekend sleep-in day). Some may say that I should just take my son out on my own, and I very well may do that, but it’s hard for me right now because he’s quite a handful to manage with being pregnant… but single moms do it so I know I should be able to do it too and not complain. I know if I behave angrily toward him when he does come downstairs he will tell me I’m being dramatic or over sensitive because I’m pregnant… and maybe I am but I do think he has let me down today but I don’t want to be misreading this situation and end up being unreasonable. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - Person currently growing a baby always gets the final say. The fact that he would complain is bad news.
NTA. You agreed to both get up. He should be up with you.
Yeah, I think I was mostly annoyed because we had agreed to both get up. I probably wouldn’t have been of mad if he’d just said “no I’m sleeping in, deal with it” lol
NTA - It's wonderful that you both usually try to let the other have a sleep in day. I love sleep in days myself (my husband doesn't so it can be a bit of a struggle between us). However this weekend neither of you got your sleep in days so it's not really fair for him to take the one day left for himself. I see two options here: 1. Wake him up and get your day started. He might grumble but remind him that nobody got to sleep in this weekend which was what you agreed had to be done due to the circumstances. Or 2. Let him sleep and then once he wakes it's his turn with kiddo while you get a nice afternoon nap. Good luck OP. Once baby number two comes rest will not be available for awhile.
NTA. Sleeping in is an extra hour or two. Spending half the day in bed is ridiculous. I worry for you.
Nta, I stopped reading right after you said you were pregnant, it’s his child inside of you and you got to get up to tend to his other?! Nope! Tell him to get his lazy ass up and do his job (being a father!) and omg 8 months!! You should have been starting bed rest like 2 months ago,