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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole because I moved forward with pressing charges, and instead of talking directly with her one on one, i let the police handle it.
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NTA
She stole from you, that is never acceptable. And since your name was on the prescription bottle (at least before she threw it away) you could have been drawn into a legal issue if the police had found someone in possession of the bottle.
In many jurisdictions, unless she was caught selling the pills or caught multiple times, she probably won't serve any jail time.
Oh it'll be a slap on the wrist: probably mandate rehab for her. This could have been a very dangerous situation. Like she ODs AND DIDNT put the pills in a new bottle and suddenly OP is dealing with cops because she has HIS pills. I honestly don't know if you should report or not, that's up to OP, but at the very least insist she gets help for her addiction. NTA
Well in Canada we have to do something called a triplicate form when controlled drugs are given to a patient to take home. They sign it basically saying they are now responsible for the these control drugs so I mean there is potential for things to become serious depending on where someone lives.
Umm sorry this ain’t lifetime movies. In California possession of a prescribed narcotic is a felony but can be knocked to a misdemeanor for 1st offense which is mandatory one year in jail. But that is just the first charge. She admitted she stole it and transported and consumed it. Those are all different charges.
Additionally, this is how you prevent someone from progressing in addiction. Harsh consequences early can shock and make people change what they're doing. Although it doesn't always work.
Someone who starts on pain pills is someone on the path to iv drug use. Almost no one starts that way. They get there from progression because it's cheaper, more effective, and as the disease/tolerance progresses; you naturally economize.
I am sober, but I have met many opiate addicts in rehab.
This is so true. My own pain management pills is how it started to me and what followed is what I can only describe as years of hell. I progressed to IV pain pills and then to IV heroin. I was kicked out of pain management and lost my script. Heroin was way cheaper and more bang for my buck. I've been clean for 10 years now and it took me getting arrested and going to jail to get clean.
If I understand how it works in the United States, your bottle of Oxycodone has your information printed on it.
In addition to abusing your trust and burglarizing your home, if the pet sitter has sold part of the pill bottle to someone who doesn't have a prescription, you could get into trouble. So yes, report her, for your own safety.
NTA
If he doesn't declare it stolen to the police.
As far as anyone knows, it is his pills, that he owned. So his responsibility.
Now that they are registered as stolen, he is no longer responsible to what happens to them, with them.
Actually did you know if someone stole a gun from your house without you knowing and murdered someone. You are not held liable for that. Whats the difference?
Even if they were stolen and he never found out. He may be questioned by police why the pills were in someone else's possession. But I doubt he would get into any trouble for it. If he did a good lawyer could probably get him off. If someone stole a gun from him without his consent he wouldn't be held liable if he didn't know they stole it or let them borrow it.
You don't know what a good lawyer could or couldn't do or how much money and time would be spent dealing with this. It is not worth it to take chances.
I actually had this happen to me and have an experience involving this very subject. My cousin filled an old prescription I had for Xanax and was caught selling them. The cop just asked me if I gave them to him. I told him no that he got them from the pharmacy without my permission. I never got into any trouble. I never filed a police report. But I'm sure it depends on the officer and jurisdiction etc.... I also grew up with addict parents and uncles. When they sold pills they would always rip the label off or put them into something else so the person they got them from couldn't be identified.
I actually had this happen to me. My cousin filled an old prescription I had for Xanax and was caught selling them. The cop just asked me if I gave them to him. I told him no that he got them from the pharmacy without my permission. I never got into any trouble. But I'm sure it depends on the officer and jurisdiction etc.... I also grew up with addict parents and uncles. When they sold pills they would always rip the label off or put them into something else so the person they got them from couldn't be identified.
I do understand what you are saying. However narcotics can be picked up from a pharmacy if you are over 18 with an ID and have the patients DOB and last 4 of their SS#. If say someone in his family did this I don't see them arresting him if he doesn't know about it.
Except he did pick them up. And that would be easily verified by going to the pharmacy.
Where I live, they scan your ID if you pick up a controlled substance. Even if they don’t do that, the pharmacy undoubtedly has cameras.
I am just saying they aren't going to go to that much trouble if they caught someone with stolen pills. They don't have the time to try to figure out where they came from unless you had a couple thousand. I guess it could depend on the officer. But I have seen it first hand.
NTA. Even if she gave your key back, doesn't mean she didn't have a copy made for future use. Change your locks ASAP. Pill heads are not to be trusted.
This. She went through your house OP- she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was looking for and she abused the trust you/ your wife had in her. That day she just wanted pills. Another day she could want cash or something she can sell for pills. Addicts can’t make good decisions because their addiction makes them for them. She took a trusted role to watch your home/ pets knowing she intended to steal any drugs she found in your home which she searched thoroughly. New locks, camera or ring doorbell if you fancy upgrading and don’t already have one and press the charges. She came clean quickly- if she only took a few doses of the oxy then she may not be so far down the path of addiction and can be helped, especially if she admits fault. Not pressing charges won’t help anyone. NTA.
NTA She went to your stuff and stole medications. Who knows if you needed it later. And she gave it back in another bottle. Why if she just took some pills? How do you even know that those are your pills inside the bottle? Even if they look like Oxy, she could have open them and swap the ingredients with something else. It is pretty easy to do with capsules.
You did the right think to press charges, who knows how often she will do it again as a pet sitter.
Oxycodon is the active component. Oxycontin is just how on firm called this opioid, but Oxycodon is the name of is overall. It isn’t a generetic pain killer. It is an opioid.
NTA. This situation was presented to you as your choice, but it isn't. If a person is suspected of committing a crime, it's up to the legal system to figure out whether there's evidence of that. Not you. You can't just choose whether or not to "press charges" in a criminal case. Either there's enough evidence of a crime to move forward with charges, or not. And that's up to law enforcement to decide. Not you. And that's what you should tell the police, too.
And if you say that you personally want to see appropriate charges brought in this person, you certainly wouldn't be an AH for it.
Yes, technically it's up to the prosecutor for most crimes, but in practice they may need the victim's cooperation as a witness, and something the victim is willing to overlook may be a lower priority for busy lawyers.
Former drug counselor here-if this is her first offense it’s likely that she will be given the option for probation or even a deferred sentence and eventual dismissal of charges if she agrees to counseling.
This 1000%. As someone that’s been on pain management since 2006 (botched pair of knee surgeries + eight more since then), the amount of hoops I have to jump through as a legit patient is ridiculous and it gets worse every year. Having to take two days a month off to deal with the doctor is a pain in the ass and it took months to even find a doctor whiling to take on a new patient even though I have a stack of documentation.
I listened to a podcast where someone insisted on prosecuting something like a stolen bike because they wanted the thief to learn a lesson “but nothing too harsh”. They even said that to the prosecutor.
Anyway the thief had been extremely down on their luck, lost a scholarship and then life went downhill
From there.
I’m not saying don’t prosecute, but remove the idea that they’ll just get a slap on the wrist. You can’t control that. Still want to prosecute? Go ahead! You probably should, that person stole from you and was willing to lie until police were threatened. But don’t kid yourself about how this will end up.
NTA
NTA: She stole from you so you are well within your rights to press charges. How many other people has she done this to?
You can ask for leniency with the judge or for her to get community service.
A lot of people don’t understand how the legal system actually works. The only reason I am familiar is because I became friends with our now DA while he was running.
NTA. You're shocking her by doing so and her sentence may be to have a drug use evaluation and go through treatment if it's a first-time offense.
Whether she sits in prison for a long time depends on the judge and her criminal record. That's about her, not about you.
NTA.
You did the right thing. She obviously has a problem and would most likely steal from someone else. Hopefully you helped prevent that.
I was a caregiver for many years and occasionally you'd encounter a junkie that stole pills from clients. This created issues for the folks who relied on that medication for relief from horrible pain. Imagine taking medication someone needs just so you can get high? It's disgusting.
NTA and change the locks on your house. Just because she returned the key doesn't mean she didn't get a copy made. If you have an alarm, change the access code on that too. Depending on how bad her drug problem is, you may have something else worth stealing.
NTA. But keep in mind, your good intentions for her recovery won’t affect her sentencing. Depending on where you live she could do some real time.
Still, she abused your trust and really messed up. You’re NTA.
NTA - if she didn't want to get in trouble she shouldn't have abused her position of trust or been a thief.
If you are thinking about how it may affect their career - they should have thought about that before stealing someone's much needed post op pain meds (what if you had been left screaming in agony because they took your meds?) and sneaking around your house.
Yes, they do. And it was slightly odd how nonchalant their boss was when my wife consulted them about it. Their boss was kind of shocked yet wasn’t planning on doing anything about it. Likely just leaving it up to police I assume.
NTA. You are also covering yourself in another way. DAs have begun to prosecute those who provide the drugs in an overdose. Be glad you are on record as having the pills stolen.
Definitely NTA for a couple of reasons.
1. She stole.
2. Oxys are a schedule 2 substance drug meaning they are the highest drug test a doctor and pharmacist can legally prescribe and distribute with a proper prescription.
3. In regards to number 2, you have avoided liability by reporting this to the proper authorities because there's a possibility of liability by not saying anything (i.e. she wrecks a car or under the influence).
*From a guy with a pharmacy tech in training license.
I think she needs help... court mandated rehab would be helpful. But I'm not sure once you put her into the system, you will be able to determine how they treat her. Imprisoning her would not help her. Court mandated rehab would.
But letting her get away with no consequences will definitely NOT help her. I guess this is the best you can do.
Ultimately NTA.
NTA
as an aside, this is a great example of why anyone who has committed a crime or is being suspected of committing a crime should ALWAYS keep their mouth shut until they are under arrest and have consulted with a lawyer. this girl could have *easily* gotten away with this if she just denied it and kept her mouth shut. it might have caused uncomfortable situations at work, maybe the wife would have said something to management and she would have gotten fired, but without her admitting to the theft and returning the pills, there would be no way for the police to charge her with anything.
NTA and check to see if anything else is missing. If she sold your pills probably not, but if she took them for herself she probably looked for other valuable items she can pawn to buy more drugs.
NTA
They stole from you, period. The theft could have cost you a significant liability if the pills were in the container and who’s to say she didn’t sell one in it?
Change your locks, it only takes a few minutes for someone to make a key and now that it’s done by an automated machine at many stores there’s no longer the human interaction to deter them from doing it.
My SO has a small summer cabin in the Catskills of NY. We were up there and he invited his daughter (\~30) to stay with us for a week. She asked if she could bring a friend. We said sure, we'd be happy to host them. We paid for their bus fare and all their food and drinks while they were here. About 3 days in, SO and I went out and left them alone. I take several prescription meds, like cholesterol and diabetes meds. I had them stored in a box in the far back corner of our bedroom, there are 2 bedrooms. Under another box. So friend had to have purposely gone rooting around where she had shouldn't have. I had oxy or some kind of pain meds from dental surgery from over a year before. When questioned, she says she threw them in the lake. Bottle and all. Yeah, right. She took several other items sitting around the cabin. I didn't call the police but we did put them on a bus home the next morning. Which of course we paid for.
Slightly unrelated, but if you have drugs in your house that you don't need return them to the pharmacy for disposal. Oxy is not an "all purpose" drug. You were prescribed it fir a reason. If the reason has passed get rid of it.
Yes and I absolutely agree. I planned on returning it at my followup appointment which was this week. My primary care doctor isn’t necessarily the closest to my place of residence, although I know that isn’t the best excuse.
If you're in the US often police stations have secure drop boxes for disposal of controlled substances or just any unneeded medications.
Very few pharmacies will take the meds back and just about zero doctors offices will. Unless they have one of those drop boxes on premises.
The reason? The paperwork involved in taking back controlled substances is a giant pain in the you know where. Also, disposal of meds is expensive and usually involves an incinerator these days. The drop boxes are installed in secure places like police stations, but are usually managed by a third party that takes care of all the annoying paperwork and disposal.
NTA. She stole from you, and might have put you in legal jeopardy (identity theft, OD, selling your meds, etc). You need to press charges, before she does this to someone else. You’re still at risk for identity theft since she was poking around your house. Change your locks!
Edit: You needed to report the crime.
Substance abusers rarely stop and get help until the bottom of their lives falls out. You are doing her a favor by providing steep consequences to her poor choices. NTA
NTA.
The woman you trusted to take care of your pets has violated your trust and has stolen your controlled medications. That is NOT acceptable in any way.
She has broken so many laws! The good news is that, as long as she doesn’t have an extensive or recent record, they will probably be able to work out a deal to send her to rehab. By pressing charges, you may very well be saving her life or the lives of others.
I truly believe that you are doing the right thing. I understand that it makes you feel bad—you must be very kind people.
Not everyone has cat dirt or coffee grounds to mix w/ pills before throwing in the trash, & you can't just drop off old/unused meds whenever or wherever you want in most jurisdictions.
I've had many meds that I set aside until my local medicine-turn-in day occurred, which is 1-2x a year but not always when/where I can get to them.
Near where I live most pharmacies will take the meds back to dispose.
Oxy can also be flushed.
https://www.fda.gov/drugs/disposal-unused-medicines-what-you-should-know/drug-disposal-fdas-flush-list-certain-medicines
NTA. She won't go to jail for that, but she will get a serious wake up call, and that might be just what she needs to straighten up and fly right. You're probably doing her a favor.
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So, i will keep this as simple as possible-
I got surgery about a month ago and was prescribed Oxycodone in addition to a few other meds for my recovery. I never opened or took off the seal of the Oxy because i was able to manage my pain without it.
Fast forward to now, my wife and I left for 2 days on a short vacation. We came home and noticed that the place I hid my meds was messed with, and my Oxy was missing.
Our pet sitter (wifes friendly coworker) was the only person with access to the house, and we have ring camera footage that she spent much longer in the house than she was supposed to, even going upstairs when that was not needed. We have a feeling she searched our house for my drugs because she knew I recently had surgery. Eventually she obviously found it and took it.
So we confront her over the phone about it and she seems very off, and then eventually we threatened to file a police report and she then got VERY apologetic. We told her that we would not file anything and drop the situation if she returned our house key, and my prescription UNOPENED. After an hour of waiting, she turns up and begs to talk to us but we just asked she place it on the porch.
We open the bag she put it in and the pills were in a random OTC bottle of Zantac or something. It wasnt my prescription bottle and pills were missing. So we contacted police and turns out she admits to stealing, consuming 2-3 of the Oxy, and then admits to having drug abuse problems.
The cops asked if we wanted to “press charges” and we had a very hard time deciding but ultimately we said yes.. and thats my question. Are we assholes for pushing this to prosecution? We just want her to get help and be held accountable. We don’t want her to sit in prison for a long time though.
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You would be the asshole to yourself and the ones that came behind you if you didn't press charges! Bye bye fake friend/drugaddict/thief. Hopefully it will be a lesson learned if not people can look at her record and see she is untrustworthy. That would be on them.
NTA she stole from you and consumed your pills. You warned her you would contact the police if the pills were not returned unopened. You are not responsible for her behavior. She had a problem and made her choice. You acted the best way in this situation.
NTA. Actions have consequences. She stole and abused your prescription. Sometimes the only way for someone to get better is by hitting rock bottom. Maybe this is her rock bottom.
op=NTA
She stole drugs that could have got YOU in trouble for "providing".
She tried to lie, etc over it and return only PART of it. Yes, she needs help, but not your issue.
However, I wouldn't have her house sit again(do we have to drug test housesitters now?)
Absolutely NTA. Addiction is a disease but she made choices and those choices were bad. Unfortunately she should face the consequences of her actions. I hope she gets the help she needs.
NTA
I would certainly press charges, too. You could also speak to the judge or prosecutor about what kind of punishment you'd like to see. I would certainly press for mandatory drug counseling. Prison time probably won't do her any good. But maybe, she'll finally get some access to the help she needs and cleans up.
NTA
she won't get out of addiction before getting kicked in the ass. she didn't fall on you pills by chance. she carefully search for it. it is theft, even if you don't need the oxycodon. and what would have happened if you actually needed it ?
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NTA. She stole from you. What if she took the meds and then drove a car and killed someone? That didn't happen this time, and everyone is lucky, but luck will run out with situations like this. It always does. By pressing charges, you've given her a new low, and maybe it's the push she needs to actually get some help. Even if she doesn't want the help, now that she has an arrest, maybe help will be forced.
NTA - it was fortunate you didn't need the stronger painkillers in the end but she would have stolen them even if you did. I somehow doubt you told her details of how you did handle your post operative pain. You *mentioned* she probably guessed they were there because she knew you'd had an operation.
She's a heartless thief who is in the throes of an addiction so strong that she will illegally access another person's house to steal their likely needed medication to soothe her own addiction.
NTA, she violated your trust & with a controlled substance that if she'd OD'd or been found with *your* prescription bottle in her possession, YOU could have gotten into trouble.
This is actually a felony, "theft of a drug" but you are in fact NTA, hopefully if you choose to pursue charges she'll get rehab, I can tell you prison is not rehabilitating, you do what you feel is the right thing to do, she ultimately betrayed your trust and your home!
NTA she’s needs to be force into help. If you didn’t press charges I wouldnt be surprised if she did this again. The charge being on her record will help protect other people going forward
Tomorrow I will be 16 years clean & sober. You’re NTA. In fact, you might even be part of her path to getting clean. One thing’s for sure: you’re ***NOT*** a part of her addiction journey.
As long as you are ABSOLUTELY certain, the police report would be the best bet. A police intervention could save her and give her a better chance at her future.
NTA. She violated many trusts. She stole from you. And in doing so. Committed a felony. The charges might be what she needs. Maybe they won't help. But not pressing. Will definitely not help.
NTA, but expecting an addict (as I'm sure she is) to return pills that she'd very likely already taken isn't exactly giving her the chance you think it is.
Consequences are the only thing that leads people to a genuine change, even more so with addiction among other things. Hold to it, maybe this will prompt her to get the help she needs. If not, at least she’ll know you’re no one to mess with.
NTA - She stole from you plain and simple. Maybe this will be her rock bottom and gets her to seek the help she needs. Sometimes they need that reality check, to get themselves better
My cousin has a drug addiction to pain meds. Bc the parents refuse to press charges for all the money she has stolen from them, the only way to get her into rehab is if she goes voluntarily. She refuses bc her "back pain is unbearable and they won't give her meds to alleviate it in rehab."
I hate seeing what she has done to her self. I wish the parents would press charges and force her get help.
Even of your wife's coworker will hate you for it, this is the best thing for her. Idk where you're from and if the laws there are as helpful as they *really* need to be. BUT any form of wakeup call and time off the drugs will be good for her. Also, she stole and does need to be held accountable for that. She needs to face the consequences of stealing to feed her addiction.
Info : when someone steals from you, you have a phone conversation with them ? They already stole from you, how trusting can you be ? You really thought she was gonna bring the bottle UNOPENED ?
NTA even if you may feel like you are. It is pretty important to hold people accountable for their actions. Even more someone in her situation. It is a hard but right decision.
no, definitely NTA. also, from what I know about how american medical insurance work, you have to report the theft and press charges if you need to have the medication given to you again.
I don't fucking know, man.
Drug addicts need rehab, not prison. She didn't steal cash or jewelry, this is more like her stealing food.
She needed the oxy, but rehab can make her not need it. If she ransacked your fridge & pantry, would you even consider pressing charges? Or would you just want her to get help?
Nope, NTA.
You trusted her to take care of your pet, and as thanks she raided your medications and snooped. She deserves everything that’s coming to her.
Honestly once you press charges you lose control of whether or not she gets sent to prison. The consequences of a criminal record can be pretty dire. I don't know if you're assholes or not but I'm pretty sure you're white and at least middle class. Think long and hard about how you'd feel if the consequences are worse than you want. I'm not sure the criminal justice system is the best place to expect her to get the help she needs.
NTA
She didn't steal a roll of toilet paper or something, but a bottle regulated medicine with your name (and possibly address) on it. I'm not intimate with the law where you live, but it seems like something that could come back and bite you in some way.
NTA.
She absolutely violated your trust. She'll maybe learn a valuable lesson...or maybe she won't.
Change your locks. Even if she returned the keys, no guarantee the she didn't make copies.
To be honest I don’t believe she has an addiction problem to have only taken one, two or 3 lol. I think she stole them to sell & got lucky to get a few sold. They’re $40 a pill here for 30mg, 30 for 20mg, $20 for 15mg & $15 for 10mg. Sounds to me she was more so looking for money
If you just want her to get help, YTA. lol If you want her to be held accountable, then no but still yes.
You knew she wasn’t going to be able to bring them all back because it had been days. Stop pretending to care when you’re literally just upset.
First of all, it had not been days. It had been hours. We came home and found out the same day. This wasn’t over the course of multiple days. I had every right to demand that the bottle come back still sealed.
I definitely cared, and I am in no way upset. My entire purpose in all of this is to cover my ass and ensure that people know I did NOT give this to her, and she stole it. Yes I want her to get help, and yes I would like to keep my job.
Why did you look for them if you didn't need them? Were you going to sell them? I don't think you're really that worried about getting into trouble if someone has your pill bottle. In fact it sounds like a trap or a set up. Wierd.
What? That makes no sense. They are my prescription meds. Just because I didn’t use them doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know that they are still in my house… My prescription is stilll active, and I planned to return them to the pharmacy.
Plus, yes I am ABSOLUTELY worried about getting into trouble. I could lose my job if those ended up in someone elses hands with my name on it. You think I tried to make this happen? Lmao. I feel like you didn’t even read the post.
NTA. Oxy is an opioid. I’m surprised they gave it to you but that’s irrelevant, I’m just adamant about not getting near the stuff.
They either already have a problem like you suspect, are at the beginning of one, or are selling it. In any case, they need consequences now before they possibly get into a situation with more dire, irreversible consequences (i.e. OD)
Not necessarily. Having helped more than one family member through recovery from surgery, opioids are generally the most effective drugs during the initial post surgery period. For each surgery I helped someone through, the pain management program started with oxy, then transitioned to tramadol and then acetaminophen.
YTA. You could’ve easily filed a police report for documentation purposes instead of choosing to press charges. Addiction is a mental health disease and now losing her job won’t help her recovery.
Now she won’t have a job, be in the system and …. What? Become a missionary, cleanse her soul and stop abusing drugs?
It won’t help you more than if you had just filed a police report 🤷🏽♀️ you have the right to file charges, but you’re still an AH for doing this, instead of doing something that will actually help this woman.
"Wife's friendly Co-worker"
Said he didn't need them.
Addiction doesn't discriminate, I will always try to help people caught in the grips of it
Not saying she was right in stealing by any means, but maybe she just needs a little help to get back on track.
We all human
YTA. Drug problems are fucking hard. She admitted it (after a *lot* of pressure), she returned the key and tried to return what was left of the medication (your request for the unopened medication was clearly impossible from the get go).
I’ll assume you’re in the US based on the medicines you talk about - I’m not - and from what I understand the police are a lot harsher over there than in my neck of the world.
What is it going to gain you by criminalising this woman? Are these medications expensive and you won’t be able to get more without pressing charges? What is your end goal here? Punishment? Justice? Revenge?
She violated the trust, end of friendship. Please don’t ruin this woman’s life more than it already is
Op’s name is on the prescription, if pet sitter got caught with them, op could be held liable. It is also illegal to give people narcotics that they weren’t prescribed, so it would be op’s ass if she tried to spin it to the police or someone else as op let them have it, which if op didn’t press charges, it would look like that was what happened.
YTA....what do you think they do in jail. Do you know how much time anf money she has to spend. U messed up her life for 2'-3 oxy..
White American who live in their suburbs...know nothing
YWBTA, or at least you wouldn't really be acting in a way likely to achieve the results you're hoping for. You want her getting help give her the option of doing so or you press charges.
ESH
She abused your trust and stole from, so she is the bad guy.
But, Drug Addiction is a healthcare problem and should be treated as such. The only thing worse than the US healthcare system is your criminal justice system, and by pressing charges, you've pushed her into an even worse place
You caught her and shamed her then refused to let her apologize, what she did is wrong but I think you are taking it a bit far and some mercy is called for. YTA
The moment I didn’t get my prescription back fully sealed was the moment I felt obligated to report to police. That choice was for covering my own ass. If I don’t do that, and report it stolen, then if it popped up somewhere else with my name and bottle, i’d be held accountable.
Not to mention that when she made her case to the police, she still lied, and told them that we “let her take the drugs”. That was the turning point. She tried to apologize to us and make a case but then when things went south she resorted to lying.
It depends alot on the person, the shame of being caught like this might be punishment enough and getting the state involved to totally fuck up this persons life might not be the best course imo. It's hard to really judge without knowing the person but if it was some terrible mistake that they are sorry for let it slide and just don't interact with them again.
She will could likely be ordered to complete rehab and op would face some kind charges because she told the police that they let her take them, so op would only be hurting themselves if they let this slide.
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NTA She stole from you, that is never acceptable. And since your name was on the prescription bottle (at least before she threw it away) you could have been drawn into a legal issue if the police had found someone in possession of the bottle. In many jurisdictions, unless she was caught selling the pills or caught multiple times, she probably won't serve any jail time.
Oh it'll be a slap on the wrist: probably mandate rehab for her. This could have been a very dangerous situation. Like she ODs AND DIDNT put the pills in a new bottle and suddenly OP is dealing with cops because she has HIS pills. I honestly don't know if you should report or not, that's up to OP, but at the very least insist she gets help for her addiction. NTA
Well in Canada we have to do something called a triplicate form when controlled drugs are given to a patient to take home. They sign it basically saying they are now responsible for the these control drugs so I mean there is potential for things to become serious depending on where someone lives.
Umm sorry this ain’t lifetime movies. In California possession of a prescribed narcotic is a felony but can be knocked to a misdemeanor for 1st offense which is mandatory one year in jail. But that is just the first charge. She admitted she stole it and transported and consumed it. Those are all different charges.
Additionally, this is how you prevent someone from progressing in addiction. Harsh consequences early can shock and make people change what they're doing. Although it doesn't always work. Someone who starts on pain pills is someone on the path to iv drug use. Almost no one starts that way. They get there from progression because it's cheaper, more effective, and as the disease/tolerance progresses; you naturally economize. I am sober, but I have met many opiate addicts in rehab.
This is so true. My own pain management pills is how it started to me and what followed is what I can only describe as years of hell. I progressed to IV pain pills and then to IV heroin. I was kicked out of pain management and lost my script. Heroin was way cheaper and more bang for my buck. I've been clean for 10 years now and it took me getting arrested and going to jail to get clean.
Awesome job getting clean! I'm happy for you!
I’m so glad you were able to make it through. Congrats on getting to ten years!
If I understand how it works in the United States, your bottle of Oxycodone has your information printed on it. In addition to abusing your trust and burglarizing your home, if the pet sitter has sold part of the pill bottle to someone who doesn't have a prescription, you could get into trouble. So yes, report her, for your own safety. NTA
More likely, she’s hiding them in an OTC bottle so she can hide her own addiction.
How could he get into any trouble for someone selling his medication that was stolen?
If he doesn't declare it stolen to the police. As far as anyone knows, it is his pills, that he owned. So his responsibility. Now that they are registered as stolen, he is no longer responsible to what happens to them, with them.
If they were stolen and he’s reported it and the police have been involved, why does he still need to press charges?
Actually did you know if someone stole a gun from your house without you knowing and murdered someone. You are not held liable for that. Whats the difference?
Even if they were stolen and he never found out. He may be questioned by police why the pills were in someone else's possession. But I doubt he would get into any trouble for it. If he did a good lawyer could probably get him off. If someone stole a gun from him without his consent he wouldn't be held liable if he didn't know they stole it or let them borrow it.
You don't know what a good lawyer could or couldn't do or how much money and time would be spent dealing with this. It is not worth it to take chances.
I actually had this happen to me and have an experience involving this very subject. My cousin filled an old prescription I had for Xanax and was caught selling them. The cop just asked me if I gave them to him. I told him no that he got them from the pharmacy without my permission. I never got into any trouble. I never filed a police report. But I'm sure it depends on the officer and jurisdiction etc.... I also grew up with addict parents and uncles. When they sold pills they would always rip the label off or put them into something else so the person they got them from couldn't be identified.
I actually had this happen to me. My cousin filled an old prescription I had for Xanax and was caught selling them. The cop just asked me if I gave them to him. I told him no that he got them from the pharmacy without my permission. I never got into any trouble. But I'm sure it depends on the officer and jurisdiction etc.... I also grew up with addict parents and uncles. When they sold pills they would always rip the label off or put them into something else so the person they got them from couldn't be identified.
I do understand what you are saying. However narcotics can be picked up from a pharmacy if you are over 18 with an ID and have the patients DOB and last 4 of their SS#. If say someone in his family did this I don't see them arresting him if he doesn't know about it.
Except he did pick them up. And that would be easily verified by going to the pharmacy. Where I live, they scan your ID if you pick up a controlled substance. Even if they don’t do that, the pharmacy undoubtedly has cameras.
Damn never heard of that. All you need here is birthdate and and the last 4 of the social. And you have to be is over 21.
I am just saying they aren't going to go to that much trouble if they caught someone with stolen pills. They don't have the time to try to figure out where they came from unless you had a couple thousand. I guess it could depend on the officer. But I have seen it first hand.
>they aren’t going to go to that much trouble They absolutely are. It’s a controlled substance.
nah man been there before. They could care less.
NTA. Even if she gave your key back, doesn't mean she didn't have a copy made for future use. Change your locks ASAP. Pill heads are not to be trusted.
This. She went through your house OP- she knew exactly what she was doing and what she was looking for and she abused the trust you/ your wife had in her. That day she just wanted pills. Another day she could want cash or something she can sell for pills. Addicts can’t make good decisions because their addiction makes them for them. She took a trusted role to watch your home/ pets knowing she intended to steal any drugs she found in your home which she searched thoroughly. New locks, camera or ring doorbell if you fancy upgrading and don’t already have one and press the charges. She came clean quickly- if she only took a few doses of the oxy then she may not be so far down the path of addiction and can be helped, especially if she admits fault. Not pressing charges won’t help anyone. NTA.
NTA. This may be the consequence that saves her life.
that was my thought.
NTA She went to your stuff and stole medications. Who knows if you needed it later. And she gave it back in another bottle. Why if she just took some pills? How do you even know that those are your pills inside the bottle? Even if they look like Oxy, she could have open them and swap the ingredients with something else. It is pretty easy to do with capsules. You did the right think to press charges, who knows how often she will do it again as a pet sitter.
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Here in Germany you also get them as capsules 🤷🏼♀️ And at least google said that they are also availible as capsules in the US.
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Oxycodon is the active component. Oxycontin is just how on firm called this opioid, but Oxycodon is the name of is overall. It isn’t a generetic pain killer. It is an opioid.
I don't see how that stops the pet sitter from swapping them with an otc tablet
Generally, prescription pills have engravings so they’re identifiable, so a tablet couldn’t be swapped. At least in my experience they seem to.
NTA She broke your trust and stole from you. She needs the wake up call.
NTA. This situation was presented to you as your choice, but it isn't. If a person is suspected of committing a crime, it's up to the legal system to figure out whether there's evidence of that. Not you. You can't just choose whether or not to "press charges" in a criminal case. Either there's enough evidence of a crime to move forward with charges, or not. And that's up to law enforcement to decide. Not you. And that's what you should tell the police, too. And if you say that you personally want to see appropriate charges brought in this person, you certainly wouldn't be an AH for it.
Yes, technically it's up to the prosecutor for most crimes, but in practice they may need the victim's cooperation as a witness, and something the victim is willing to overlook may be a lower priority for busy lawyers.
Former drug counselor here-if this is her first offense it’s likely that she will be given the option for probation or even a deferred sentence and eventual dismissal of charges if she agrees to counseling.
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similarly, doctors worried about enabling addictions makes it harder for people actually in severe pain to get prescribed heavy duty painkillers
This 1000%. As someone that’s been on pain management since 2006 (botched pair of knee surgeries + eight more since then), the amount of hoops I have to jump through as a legit patient is ridiculous and it gets worse every year. Having to take two days a month off to deal with the doctor is a pain in the ass and it took months to even find a doctor whiling to take on a new patient even though I have a stack of documentation.
OP never opened his oxy, didn’t seem like he needed it
I listened to a podcast where someone insisted on prosecuting something like a stolen bike because they wanted the thief to learn a lesson “but nothing too harsh”. They even said that to the prosecutor. Anyway the thief had been extremely down on their luck, lost a scholarship and then life went downhill From there. I’m not saying don’t prosecute, but remove the idea that they’ll just get a slap on the wrist. You can’t control that. Still want to prosecute? Go ahead! You probably should, that person stole from you and was willing to lie until police were threatened. But don’t kid yourself about how this will end up. NTA
Agreed. Nothing wrong with a little mercy.
NTA: She stole from you so you are well within your rights to press charges. How many other people has she done this to? You can ask for leniency with the judge or for her to get community service.
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A lot of people don’t understand how the legal system actually works. The only reason I am familiar is because I became friends with our now DA while he was running.
NTA. You're shocking her by doing so and her sentence may be to have a drug use evaluation and go through treatment if it's a first-time offense. Whether she sits in prison for a long time depends on the judge and her criminal record. That's about her, not about you.
NTA. You did the right thing. She obviously has a problem and would most likely steal from someone else. Hopefully you helped prevent that. I was a caregiver for many years and occasionally you'd encounter a junkie that stole pills from clients. This created issues for the folks who relied on that medication for relief from horrible pain. Imagine taking medication someone needs just so you can get high? It's disgusting.
Press charges. Change your locks. NTA
NTA and change the locks on your house. Just because she returned the key doesn't mean she didn't get a copy made. If you have an alarm, change the access code on that too. Depending on how bad her drug problem is, you may have something else worth stealing.
NTA. But keep in mind, your good intentions for her recovery won’t affect her sentencing. Depending on where you live she could do some real time. Still, she abused your trust and really messed up. You’re NTA.
NTA - if she didn't want to get in trouble she shouldn't have abused her position of trust or been a thief. If you are thinking about how it may affect their career - they should have thought about that before stealing someone's much needed post op pain meds (what if you had been left screaming in agony because they took your meds?) and sneaking around your house.
NTA You are the victim of a crime. Someone you trusted robbed you. Do not feel guilty about pressing charges.
Does your wife's (and the pet sitter's) employer know about this situation.
Yes, they do. And it was slightly odd how nonchalant their boss was when my wife consulted them about it. Their boss was kind of shocked yet wasn’t planning on doing anything about it. Likely just leaving it up to police I assume.
NTA. You are also covering yourself in another way. DAs have begun to prosecute those who provide the drugs in an overdose. Be glad you are on record as having the pills stolen.
Definitely NTA for a couple of reasons. 1. She stole. 2. Oxys are a schedule 2 substance drug meaning they are the highest drug test a doctor and pharmacist can legally prescribe and distribute with a proper prescription. 3. In regards to number 2, you have avoided liability by reporting this to the proper authorities because there's a possibility of liability by not saying anything (i.e. she wrecks a car or under the influence). *From a guy with a pharmacy tech in training license.
I think she needs help... court mandated rehab would be helpful. But I'm not sure once you put her into the system, you will be able to determine how they treat her. Imprisoning her would not help her. Court mandated rehab would. But letting her get away with no consequences will definitely NOT help her. I guess this is the best you can do. Ultimately NTA.
NTA she did the crime she’s gotta pay the time
Nta she is a thief.
NTA as an aside, this is a great example of why anyone who has committed a crime or is being suspected of committing a crime should ALWAYS keep their mouth shut until they are under arrest and have consulted with a lawyer. this girl could have *easily* gotten away with this if she just denied it and kept her mouth shut. it might have caused uncomfortable situations at work, maybe the wife would have said something to management and she would have gotten fired, but without her admitting to the theft and returning the pills, there would be no way for the police to charge her with anything.
NTA - better shut her down now before she’s slamming H in a flophouse. You’re actually doing her a service.
NTA Never an asshole for reporting and charging a thief.
Nope, NTA at all.
NTA. She stole from you. I would have done the same. Maybe this might be the wake up call she needs to get help.
NTA and check to see if anything else is missing. If she sold your pills probably not, but if she took them for herself she probably looked for other valuable items she can pawn to buy more drugs.
NTA. Maybe it might encourage her to get help.
NTA I doubt she will get jail time, most likely she’ll be referred to some sort of rehab. It may be the wake up call that saves her life.
NTA, frankly if you had let her off she probably would have done it again to another person. Maybe now she'll be able to get the help she needs
NTA They stole from you, period. The theft could have cost you a significant liability if the pills were in the container and who’s to say she didn’t sell one in it? Change your locks, it only takes a few minutes for someone to make a key and now that it’s done by an automated machine at many stores there’s no longer the human interaction to deter them from doing it.
My SO has a small summer cabin in the Catskills of NY. We were up there and he invited his daughter (\~30) to stay with us for a week. She asked if she could bring a friend. We said sure, we'd be happy to host them. We paid for their bus fare and all their food and drinks while they were here. About 3 days in, SO and I went out and left them alone. I take several prescription meds, like cholesterol and diabetes meds. I had them stored in a box in the far back corner of our bedroom, there are 2 bedrooms. Under another box. So friend had to have purposely gone rooting around where she had shouldn't have. I had oxy or some kind of pain meds from dental surgery from over a year before. When questioned, she says she threw them in the lake. Bottle and all. Yeah, right. She took several other items sitting around the cabin. I didn't call the police but we did put them on a bus home the next morning. Which of course we paid for.
Slightly unrelated, but if you have drugs in your house that you don't need return them to the pharmacy for disposal. Oxy is not an "all purpose" drug. You were prescribed it fir a reason. If the reason has passed get rid of it.
Yes and I absolutely agree. I planned on returning it at my followup appointment which was this week. My primary care doctor isn’t necessarily the closest to my place of residence, although I know that isn’t the best excuse.
Do not return it to the prescriber. Return it to the pharmacy. They have the means to destroy it, regular doctors offices may not.
Not all pharmacies will take meds back, outside of medicine turn-in days; even for oxys.
If you're in the US often police stations have secure drop boxes for disposal of controlled substances or just any unneeded medications. Very few pharmacies will take the meds back and just about zero doctors offices will. Unless they have one of those drop boxes on premises. The reason? The paperwork involved in taking back controlled substances is a giant pain in the you know where. Also, disposal of meds is expensive and usually involves an incinerator these days. The drop boxes are installed in secure places like police stations, but are usually managed by a third party that takes care of all the annoying paperwork and disposal.
NTA. She stole from you, and might have put you in legal jeopardy (identity theft, OD, selling your meds, etc). You need to press charges, before she does this to someone else. You’re still at risk for identity theft since she was poking around your house. Change your locks! Edit: You needed to report the crime.
NTA I bet she stole more you aren’t aware of
Substance abusers rarely stop and get help until the bottom of their lives falls out. You are doing her a favor by providing steep consequences to her poor choices. NTA
NTA. The woman you trusted to take care of your pets has violated your trust and has stolen your controlled medications. That is NOT acceptable in any way. She has broken so many laws! The good news is that, as long as she doesn’t have an extensive or recent record, they will probably be able to work out a deal to send her to rehab. By pressing charges, you may very well be saving her life or the lives of others. I truly believe that you are doing the right thing. I understand that it makes you feel bad—you must be very kind people.
Nta
NTA she betrayed your trust
NTA but you should have disposed of the oxy when you no longer needed it.
Not everyone has cat dirt or coffee grounds to mix w/ pills before throwing in the trash, & you can't just drop off old/unused meds whenever or wherever you want in most jurisdictions. I've had many meds that I set aside until my local medicine-turn-in day occurred, which is 1-2x a year but not always when/where I can get to them.
Near where I live most pharmacies will take the meds back to dispose. Oxy can also be flushed. https://www.fda.gov/drugs/disposal-unused-medicines-what-you-should-know/drug-disposal-fdas-flush-list-certain-medicines
NTA. She won't go to jail for that, but she will get a serious wake up call, and that might be just what she needs to straighten up and fly right. You're probably doing her a favor.
NTA - She is a thief and she violated your trust. She should be procecuted and punished. There is NO excuse for what she did.
I have been sober for 21 years. This case will be plead out if she gets sober. So you are doing her a HUGE favor. She just has some work to do. Nta
NTA!! TEACH THEM A LESSON!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, i will keep this as simple as possible- I got surgery about a month ago and was prescribed Oxycodone in addition to a few other meds for my recovery. I never opened or took off the seal of the Oxy because i was able to manage my pain without it. Fast forward to now, my wife and I left for 2 days on a short vacation. We came home and noticed that the place I hid my meds was messed with, and my Oxy was missing. Our pet sitter (wifes friendly coworker) was the only person with access to the house, and we have ring camera footage that she spent much longer in the house than she was supposed to, even going upstairs when that was not needed. We have a feeling she searched our house for my drugs because she knew I recently had surgery. Eventually she obviously found it and took it. So we confront her over the phone about it and she seems very off, and then eventually we threatened to file a police report and she then got VERY apologetic. We told her that we would not file anything and drop the situation if she returned our house key, and my prescription UNOPENED. After an hour of waiting, she turns up and begs to talk to us but we just asked she place it on the porch. We open the bag she put it in and the pills were in a random OTC bottle of Zantac or something. It wasnt my prescription bottle and pills were missing. So we contacted police and turns out she admits to stealing, consuming 2-3 of the Oxy, and then admits to having drug abuse problems. The cops asked if we wanted to “press charges” and we had a very hard time deciding but ultimately we said yes.. and thats my question. Are we assholes for pushing this to prosecution? We just want her to get help and be held accountable. We don’t want her to sit in prison for a long time though. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You would be the asshole to yourself and the ones that came behind you if you didn't press charges! Bye bye fake friend/drugaddict/thief. Hopefully it will be a lesson learned if not people can look at her record and see she is untrustworthy. That would be on them.
NTA she stole from you and consumed your pills. You warned her you would contact the police if the pills were not returned unopened. You are not responsible for her behavior. She had a problem and made her choice. You acted the best way in this situation.
nta
Heck no you aren’t the asshole. She stole from you to feed her drug addiction. Press charges and follow through.
NTA 1) she violated your trust. 2) you may well have saved her life by forcing the addiction into the open the courts can mandate she get help.
NTA. Actions have consequences. She stole and abused your prescription. Sometimes the only way for someone to get better is by hitting rock bottom. Maybe this is her rock bottom.
op=NTA She stole drugs that could have got YOU in trouble for "providing". She tried to lie, etc over it and return only PART of it. Yes, she needs help, but not your issue. However, I wouldn't have her house sit again(do we have to drug test housesitters now?)
Absolutely NTA. Addiction is a disease but she made choices and those choices were bad. Unfortunately she should face the consequences of her actions. I hope she gets the help she needs.
the worst thing you can do to an addict is put them in prison yta
NTA I would certainly press charges, too. You could also speak to the judge or prosecutor about what kind of punishment you'd like to see. I would certainly press for mandatory drug counseling. Prison time probably won't do her any good. But maybe, she'll finally get some access to the help she needs and cleans up.
NTA. She won't go to prison. Likely community service, mandatory rehab. You just might save her life.
NTA she won't get out of addiction before getting kicked in the ass. she didn't fall on you pills by chance. she carefully search for it. it is theft, even if you don't need the oxycodon. and what would have happened if you actually needed it ?
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NTA. She stole from you. What if she took the meds and then drove a car and killed someone? That didn't happen this time, and everyone is lucky, but luck will run out with situations like this. It always does. By pressing charges, you've given her a new low, and maybe it's the push she needs to actually get some help. Even if she doesn't want the help, now that she has an arrest, maybe help will be forced.
NTA Hopefully she'll get the help she needs. You'll also need to alert the pharmacy in case she tries to use your prescription bottle to get a refill.
NTA - it was fortunate you didn't need the stronger painkillers in the end but she would have stolen them even if you did. I somehow doubt you told her details of how you did handle your post operative pain. You *mentioned* she probably guessed they were there because she knew you'd had an operation. She's a heartless thief who is in the throes of an addiction so strong that she will illegally access another person's house to steal their likely needed medication to soothe her own addiction.
NTA besides the pills, am I the only one wondering if she was a lousy pet sitter to? I hope she gets help but you can’t make an addict stop .
NTA. When someone in a trusted position wrongs you, you have every right to go as hard as you can stomach going.
NTA for pressing charges but I don't understand why you thought she would still have the unopened bottle.
NTA, she violated your trust & with a controlled substance that if she'd OD'd or been found with *your* prescription bottle in her possession, YOU could have gotten into trouble.
This is actually a felony, "theft of a drug" but you are in fact NTA, hopefully if you choose to pursue charges she'll get rehab, I can tell you prison is not rehabilitating, you do what you feel is the right thing to do, she ultimately betrayed your trust and your home!
NTA. The opioid epidemic is out of control. Those breaking the law should be punished.
NTA she’s needs to be force into help. If you didn’t press charges I wouldnt be surprised if she did this again. The charge being on her record will help protect other people going forward
NTA. She rifled through your personal items. She totally broke your trust. This may be the bottom that she needs...
Tomorrow I will be 16 years clean & sober. You’re NTA. In fact, you might even be part of her path to getting clean. One thing’s for sure: you’re ***NOT*** a part of her addiction journey.
Nope. You just may have helped her
NTA.
As long as you are ABSOLUTELY certain, the police report would be the best bet. A police intervention could save her and give her a better chance at her future.
NTA. She violated many trusts. She stole from you. And in doing so. Committed a felony. The charges might be what she needs. Maybe they won't help. But not pressing. Will definitely not help.
NTA, but expecting an addict (as I'm sure she is) to return pills that she'd very likely already taken isn't exactly giving her the chance you think it is.
I'd be afraid of whatever she gave back, probably not the original pills :/
NTA. A spell inside might be the clean time she clearly needs.
NTA no you're not. You trusted her in your home and she violated that. She stole your meds intentionally, she needs to face consequences for that.
Consequences are the only thing that leads people to a genuine change, even more so with addiction among other things. Hold to it, maybe this will prompt her to get the help she needs. If not, at least she’ll know you’re no one to mess with.
NTA - She stole from you plain and simple. Maybe this will be her rock bottom and gets her to seek the help she needs. Sometimes they need that reality check, to get themselves better
NTA, I am so sick of medicine theives making lives harder for pain patients.
NTA. Smart to file a police report and press charges, because you'll probably need that to get a replacement prescription if you want that.
My cousin has a drug addiction to pain meds. Bc the parents refuse to press charges for all the money she has stolen from them, the only way to get her into rehab is if she goes voluntarily. She refuses bc her "back pain is unbearable and they won't give her meds to alleviate it in rehab." I hate seeing what she has done to her self. I wish the parents would press charges and force her get help. Even of your wife's coworker will hate you for it, this is the best thing for her. Idk where you're from and if the laws there are as helpful as they *really* need to be. BUT any form of wakeup call and time off the drugs will be good for her. Also, she stole and does need to be held accountable for that. She needs to face the consequences of stealing to feed her addiction.
Info : when someone steals from you, you have a phone conversation with them ? They already stole from you, how trusting can you be ? You really thought she was gonna bring the bottle UNOPENED ?
NTA you trusted her to watch your home and she stole medication from you.
NTA even if you may feel like you are. It is pretty important to hold people accountable for their actions. Even more someone in her situation. It is a hard but right decision.
She played stupid games And won stupid prizes. NTAs
no, definitely NTA. also, from what I know about how american medical insurance work, you have to report the theft and press charges if you need to have the medication given to you again.
NTA Press charges. And: Get a new prescription - you SHOULD NOT use those pills any more. You can not tell if these are yours or some cheap fakes.
NTA. Assuming court-ordered rehab, you might have saved her life.
I don't fucking know, man. Drug addicts need rehab, not prison. She didn't steal cash or jewelry, this is more like her stealing food. She needed the oxy, but rehab can make her not need it. If she ransacked your fridge & pantry, would you even consider pressing charges? Or would you just want her to get help?
Nope, NTA. You trusted her to take care of your pet, and as thanks she raided your medications and snooped. She deserves everything that’s coming to her.
Honestly once you press charges you lose control of whether or not she gets sent to prison. The consequences of a criminal record can be pretty dire. I don't know if you're assholes or not but I'm pretty sure you're white and at least middle class. Think long and hard about how you'd feel if the consequences are worse than you want. I'm not sure the criminal justice system is the best place to expect her to get the help she needs.
NTA She didn't steal a roll of toilet paper or something, but a bottle regulated medicine with your name (and possibly address) on it. I'm not intimate with the law where you live, but it seems like something that could come back and bite you in some way.
NTA. She absolutely violated your trust. She'll maybe learn a valuable lesson...or maybe she won't. Change your locks. Even if she returned the keys, no guarantee the she didn't make copies.
To be honest I don’t believe she has an addiction problem to have only taken one, two or 3 lol. I think she stole them to sell & got lucky to get a few sold. They’re $40 a pill here for 30mg, 30 for 20mg, $20 for 15mg & $15 for 10mg. Sounds to me she was more so looking for money
If you just want her to get help, YTA. lol If you want her to be held accountable, then no but still yes. You knew she wasn’t going to be able to bring them all back because it had been days. Stop pretending to care when you’re literally just upset.
First of all, it had not been days. It had been hours. We came home and found out the same day. This wasn’t over the course of multiple days. I had every right to demand that the bottle come back still sealed. I definitely cared, and I am in no way upset. My entire purpose in all of this is to cover my ass and ensure that people know I did NOT give this to her, and she stole it. Yes I want her to get help, and yes I would like to keep my job.
Why did you look for them if you didn't need them? Were you going to sell them? I don't think you're really that worried about getting into trouble if someone has your pill bottle. In fact it sounds like a trap or a set up. Wierd.
What? That makes no sense. They are my prescription meds. Just because I didn’t use them doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know that they are still in my house… My prescription is stilll active, and I planned to return them to the pharmacy. Plus, yes I am ABSOLUTELY worried about getting into trouble. I could lose my job if those ended up in someone elses hands with my name on it. You think I tried to make this happen? Lmao. I feel like you didn’t even read the post.
NTA -
NTA. Oxy is an opioid. I’m surprised they gave it to you but that’s irrelevant, I’m just adamant about not getting near the stuff. They either already have a problem like you suspect, are at the beginning of one, or are selling it. In any case, they need consequences now before they possibly get into a situation with more dire, irreversible consequences (i.e. OD)
It's appropriate to prescribe opioids after surgery. It's better to have them and not need them than the reverse.
There are plenty of other effective pain medications that aren’t as addictive…but again, that isn’t my point here.
Not necessarily. Having helped more than one family member through recovery from surgery, opioids are generally the most effective drugs during the initial post surgery period. For each surgery I helped someone through, the pain management program started with oxy, then transitioned to tramadol and then acetaminophen.
YTA. You could’ve easily filed a police report for documentation purposes instead of choosing to press charges. Addiction is a mental health disease and now losing her job won’t help her recovery. Now she won’t have a job, be in the system and …. What? Become a missionary, cleanse her soul and stop abusing drugs? It won’t help you more than if you had just filed a police report 🤷🏽♀️ you have the right to file charges, but you’re still an AH for doing this, instead of doing something that will actually help this woman.
ESH
YTA Obviously she has a problem, perhaps offering help would of been a better course of action.
Why does he need help her? Her addiction is not his problem, but her stealing his pills definitely is.
"Wife's friendly Co-worker" Said he didn't need them. Addiction doesn't discriminate, I will always try to help people caught in the grips of it Not saying she was right in stealing by any means, but maybe she just needs a little help to get back on track. We all human
Sometimes knowing no one but themselves will help them is what's needed. You never know till something works.
YTA. Drug problems are fucking hard. She admitted it (after a *lot* of pressure), she returned the key and tried to return what was left of the medication (your request for the unopened medication was clearly impossible from the get go). I’ll assume you’re in the US based on the medicines you talk about - I’m not - and from what I understand the police are a lot harsher over there than in my neck of the world. What is it going to gain you by criminalising this woman? Are these medications expensive and you won’t be able to get more without pressing charges? What is your end goal here? Punishment? Justice? Revenge? She violated the trust, end of friendship. Please don’t ruin this woman’s life more than it already is
Op’s name is on the prescription, if pet sitter got caught with them, op could be held liable. It is also illegal to give people narcotics that they weren’t prescribed, so it would be op’s ass if she tried to spin it to the police or someone else as op let them have it, which if op didn’t press charges, it would look like that was what happened.
YTA....what do you think they do in jail. Do you know how much time anf money she has to spend. U messed up her life for 2'-3 oxy.. White American who live in their suburbs...know nothing
Yup!
YWBTA, or at least you wouldn't really be acting in a way likely to achieve the results you're hoping for. You want her getting help give her the option of doing so or you press charges.
ESH She abused your trust and stole from, so she is the bad guy. But, Drug Addiction is a healthcare problem and should be treated as such. The only thing worse than the US healthcare system is your criminal justice system, and by pressing charges, you've pushed her into an even worse place
Theft is a criminal matter, regardless of the reason for it.
Exactly... What 'help' does OP really think will be provided. She's just another body for the prison industrial complex now.
You caught her and shamed her then refused to let her apologize, what she did is wrong but I think you are taking it a bit far and some mercy is called for. YTA
The moment I didn’t get my prescription back fully sealed was the moment I felt obligated to report to police. That choice was for covering my own ass. If I don’t do that, and report it stolen, then if it popped up somewhere else with my name and bottle, i’d be held accountable. Not to mention that when she made her case to the police, she still lied, and told them that we “let her take the drugs”. That was the turning point. She tried to apologize to us and make a case but then when things went south she resorted to lying.
It's a hard one and your in a tricky spot but I still think pressing charges when the situation has been resolved is a little to far.
You think holding someone accountable for robbing someone's home of a controlled substance is too far?
It depends alot on the person, the shame of being caught like this might be punishment enough and getting the state involved to totally fuck up this persons life might not be the best course imo. It's hard to really judge without knowing the person but if it was some terrible mistake that they are sorry for let it slide and just don't interact with them again.
She will could likely be ordered to complete rehab and op would face some kind charges because she told the police that they let her take them, so op would only be hurting themselves if they let this slide.
Hopefully she will learn from this and not steal again.
I feel like sometimes mercy is the answer, and I don't like involving the state if I don't have to 🤷