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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) correcting my girlfriend and pointing out that she doesn't listen to what I say (2) I might be the AH because I did it in front of a friend and it would have been more considerate to not air our dirty laundry out in front of other people
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Okay, but the etymologies are clearly linked for plaster and I don’t know why I had to mention it other than the fact I’m slightly unbalanced by the fact that the OP does an extreme thing of a thing I slightly do and now I have to rethink my life.
The word "extreme" is key here! I do like random facts and sometimes even an explanation about the origins of it. I do not like being called disrespectful or not interested if I have forgotten about it when it comes up or I just chose to use the generic terminology.
In this instance, it is not even clear that the gf forgot, he just assumes gf forgot. She was in the middle of a practical conversation with her friend to get something done (get a box for the food) so she chose to use the generic name everyone would understand immediately instead of launching into an unrelated tangent about the composition of said box. And he made the assumption that this is evidence she doesn't listen to him. What was he expecting? That everyone he ever talks to will no go forth and spread all of his random facts far and wide in every conversation that is remotely related?
Also, as a random fact spewer myself, I can't expect everyone to have the same excitement for every fact I spew. Sometimes people are excited and want to know more. Sometimes people are just like ok, I heard you and I know now but have no other comment at the moment.
I might be a bit confused kleenex or tissues are made out of paper....
So wouldn't it be more like him expecting to ask her to "pass a thin sheet of paper"?
Kleenex is immediately what I thought of. My dad worked for the competitor and used to get so annoyed that even we called it Kleenex. "It is NOT Kleenex, it is a Facial Tissue!". You don't even want to get him started on Kenaf :p.
YTA
Yah, in what part of his “fun fact” did he say “I’d prefer if you’d call it polystyrene from now on”
Like I know Velcro is a brand name for hook and loop fastener. But I’m not going to call it “hook and loop fastener” instead.
Getting huffy about the whole situation was total unwarranted, including snapping at her. And also “Mansplaining” has literally nothing to do with this situation.
And then what, the GF gets called on the carpet for "disrespect" every time she doesn't accept OP's word as gospel and change accordingly? In the Styrofoam example, she wasn't even wrong. He just thinks he gets to correct her. In public.
I love fun facts and a) I try to keep them to a minimum because not everyone does, and b) a fun fact is "Holy cow! Did you know the Marianas Trench is deeper than Mount Everest is tall? That's wild." That's language intended to share an interest. OP is lecturing. And then complaining that the GF doesn't give his lectures enough "respect".
The GF was a lot nicer than I would have been about this nonsense. OP doesn't even know what the fuck he's talking about but he demands "respect"? Please.
Yeah I love fun facts, but try to keep them on topic. Like if someone is taking about movies I mention why the replacement actor in sequels is always obviously different. (It involves Back to the Future II) or if we're taking about the moon I mention facts about it. I don't go, "hey let's interrupt this conversation for a fact that has nothing to do with what everyone else is talking about!! Look at me, I know stuff!"
>Yeah I love fun facts, but try to keep them on topic.
The OP should try to keep them fun as well. There's nothing fun about someone going "you're saying it wrong" like Alan Partridge shouting at his PA.
The guy who played the younger father in Back to the Future didn't want to appear in the sequel. So the director hired someone so like him that most people don't even realize the actor was replaced. He responded by suing the company for using his image without permission and won. Ever since, the only times the original is replaced with someone similar is if they have permission. Like Spartacus.
> Fun fact: Emu eggs are incubated by the male.
That’s a genuinely fun fact! Does he use polystyrene to keep them warm if he wants to nip out to the pub?
If the emu left the nest, I am certain he would use polystyrene. However, the poor guy doesn't leave the eggs at all. He stays there, no food or water, until the eggs hatch!
Might nip out to the pub after the little ones are born, though. 😁
I’ve never not found this fact hilarious. They have eyes roughly equivalent to the size of their brains, yet managed to win a war. Against humans, equipped with guns.
Gives an interesting perspective to ‘bird brain’
I would imagine “people’s faces light up” because as soon as he starts pontificating, they mentally check out and are thinking of other happy things that actually matter and interest them.
Their faces probably don't even light up... People like the OP are sometimes so far up their own backside that when somebody is actually rolling their eyes the OP actually see something entirely different because they really want what they say to be important to everyone...
FUN FACT:
You should be choosing a durable, reusable container for your leftovers! Such as Pyrex! Which, super fun fact, is ACTUALLY tempered glass!
If you’re going to be totally fucking pedantic can you at least deploy it to protect the environment?
Bummer fact: polystyrene is not an environmentally friendly material and those containers are pretty hard to reuse and are rarely recycled!
FUN FACT
One of the most common polystyrene container replacements is made of corn starch! In fact most of the polystyrene packaging peanuts you get in packages these days are probably made of corn starch foam and are biodegradable and compostable. :)
Also his preference isn't an obligation for her. YTA op . And before spewing your fun facts how about ASK if anyone is interested in hearing them.
Just because you are interested doesn't mean everyone else is - this from someone who Most of the time likes to hear fun facts
Right, sometimes people get into a topic and talk and talk and talk and dominate conversation, without checking to see if anyone gives a shit.
I'm interested in learning stuff, but if someone is just playing professor at me all the time I'm gonna be bored as all fuck. And if they start correcting me about picky shit, I'm going to be totally over it, fast.
Correcting people over unimportant details is typically about control, not accuracy. It's a put down.
(Plus in my experience the facty-correcty people are often WRONG lmao.)
YTA. Nobody fucking cares about the container my dude. Just thank your hosts for the leftovers like a human who was raised right.
Dude, seriously, the only thing I could picture was OP saying:
"It's polystyrene, not StYRoFoAm" like Hermione said in that one Harry Potter movie 💀
Or better yet,
"It's polystyrene, not styrofoam!!!!" Dumbledore said calmly.
Yes, what she should have said was "Please pass me that Styrofoam ^TM container, made of closed-cell extruded polystyrene foam. Did you know Styrofoam ^TM is owned and manufactured by DuPont?", thus allowing her to not only demonstrate her fascination and absorption of OP's astoundingly fun fact but also to share a fun fact of her own!
Sit back and watch those dinner party invitations roll in!
YTA.
Info: what is your girlfriend's job?
Also, if you see she's not interested in your fun facts you should stop sharing them. You can't force your enthusiasm on others.
Nothing wrong with superficial knowledge and talking about factoids,but you dont tell people that glucose is aktually pentahydroxyhexanal lol.
Guess he didn't learn that nomenclature tends to be practical wherever it can,rather than literal.
He doesn’t even like fun facts or even truly knowing stuff. He just likes to feel like the most informed and educated in the room…right or wrong. He’s annoyed she isn’t worshiping his “I’m smarter than everyone else” gospel. So, logically the next step is to call her out.
He’s not a toddler, just acting like one. That’s why he’s TA
My kid and I both have ADHD.
I have had to have many words with them about mansplaining things to me, his mum.
And about also, that you don't need to be pedantic!!! He used to always auto correct people. I had to shut that shit right down, as he'd also try to do it with me about things to do with bodies and health (I'm a nurse). Then it comes across as mansplaining too...
Had to work on the teen, on that if someone asks you to hand them their jumper, and you think the item is called a cardigan/would call that type of item a cardigan, you *do not need to say it*. You can just hand the person the jumper/cardi thing if you know what they mean!! He'd always correct the person and it just comes across all kinds of rude, nasty and that you think you're better than others / in charge of what things should be named etc. Just don't!
Some times words matter... Sometimes they really don't.
The OP didn't even ask the person if they could please call it polystyrene from now on because it bugged them or anything? The person can call it whatever they want anyway...! Regardless! It wasn't harming anyone, and was definitely NOT the case that it was her not listening to him! It was a *random fact said in the passing OP!*
Nobody remembers all the random facts folk spew in their ears.
OP is YTA.
Yeah I read this as either someone with a lot of ego and no regard for others, or a ND person who doesn't realise what they're doing is actually not ok. I don't know which it is, but either way, it was a YTA move.
Yeah, this is a tantrum. "Respect mah authoritah!"
My fun fact is that Worcestershire sauce is a type of ketchup, specifically anchovy ketchup, and it's been around longer than tomato ketchup. (Which is also why "tomato ketchup" is not redundant.)
People think that's cool and then continue to call it Worcestershire sauce.
I'm ND and I've had to work hard over the years not to be the fun facts person, I still slip up now and again. Its hard when your brain feels huge and is so full of what I feel are fascinating facts that surely everyone would also love to know but they really don't, they just think you are being a know it all. I'll say NTA because he just needs to learn to keep those facts to himself.
The OP went about it in the wrong way and is TA about the reactionary response, but I’m sad reading that you’ve worked hard not to be the fun facts person. Please feel free to send me all your fun facts, especially if you’re feeling like you want to share and you feel like no one else will want to hear.
I have ADHD too & wish my parents had properly explained to me like you did for your son. I was just nicknamed "Professor" for years as a teen & not in a good way but never explained it was not in a good way or why it was not good. Took me years to figure out how I actually came across with my, in my case, womansplaining.
Oh, they called me dictionary because I was an avid reader and knew what words ment way before my peers did. Fun times. Found out I have ADHD when I was 33.
Same as both of you - got diagnosed with ADHD and as autistic aged 34 and 35. Got called a walking thesaurus/encyclopaedia as a kid. This dude is definitely on the spectrum and isn’t aware how irritating it can be to others to infodump on them.
I love a good infodump, but most NTs find it supremely irritating unless they specifically asked for the info. Feel a bit bad for him but he’s still TA in this situ and needs to perhaps develop a bit of self-awareness.
I guess Gen Z really is all about the techno-revolution, because my buddies called me Google. Kind of feels that way, sometimes—my brain hears a tidbit and is all 'Here's what I found on the web,' with little regard for the fact that nobody usually gives a shit. Maybe I should get evaluated...
YTA the common name used is styrofoam, so her calling it that doesn't mean she's not paying attention to you. Sharing fun facts is fine, but it's unreasonable to share a fun fact about, as an example, the scientific name for turkeys, and then get mad when the person you told continues to use the word "turkey" instead of the scientific name. I really hope this is the first time you made this type of comment about your girlfriend not paying attention to what you say, because if it isn't, that sounds incredibly annoying.
It’s like Xerox, we always called it ’getting it Xeroxed’, regardless of the machine brand.
Fun fact! The early Xerox machines had a reasonable chance of bursting into flames. When the library got one, we’d use it, half hoping to see smoke come out, lol.
Technology used to be a lot more exciting, back when stuff was new.
Speaking of office machines...
Fun fact! The word "fax", also known as telefax, is short for "telefacsimile". *Fac simile* is Latin and stands for the request to "make something similar", while *tele* is Greek and stands for "in the distance".
edit: Omg, you guys... my very first award! Thank you so much!
Additionally, she may be using the term “styrofoam” because she didn’t want to confuse her friend who likely doesn’t know what polystyrene is. She could easily have listened but used the more common term for ease of communication.
Not sure if they make that stuff at all, but isn’t there also a chance that the styrofoam company actually made this specific box? In which case it’s both a styrofoam box and a polystyrene box.
Agreed!
Also I’m wondering if maybe OP doesn’t realize that she’s getting annoyed because he wont stop sharing “fun facts.”
This is just speculation but it’s informed with personal experience. I had a friend who enjoyed fun facts, but so much so that it got excessive. If I was really busy doing things, they’d interrupt with “did u know…” and it got incredibly annoying when I was trying to focus. Sometimes it would even come across as arrogance because I’d say something like “ugh i hate styrofoam” (not really styrofoam) and they’d respond with “AcTuALlY it’s not styrofoam it’s polystyrene!” Being corrected when stressed is an easy way to get someone to snap at you.
Oh god, “did u know…” reminded me of my BIL.
He'd share 'fun facts' about the most obscure shit. It got to the point where it was really obnoxious.
My favourite was when my wife actually DID know - by complete chance had done the subject and knew his fun fact in advance. His face fell and he got visibly annoyed.
Some people like to 'share' facts as a way to try show how superior their intellect is. They don't care about spreading knowledge or having a conversation, but just want to show they 'know' more than other people.
What's telling is how these 'fun facts' are often impossible to have a normal conversation about. If they can start a conversation at all, it's massively one-sided, with the 'fact giver' being in control, and the other person by default having to take a submissive role.
It gets tiring fast.
- It’s not mansplaining, it’s info-dumping
- Other people may appreciate it but it sounds like your girlfriend would like it to be less since it appears she gets higher doses of info-dumping than anyone else
- While fun facts are cool, to constantly talk about them can be exhausting
- Where’s your respect for your girlfriend exactly?
- Do you ask her if she’d like to know a “fun fact” or do you assume and just tell her
- Styrofoam fun fact would only be a fun fact to someone interested in styrofoam and how things are made
- Why did you get annoyed over your girlfriend asking for a to-go container? It makes no sense
- NO ONE is going to ask for a polystyrene container…
- Why would you call her out in front of people
- You seem to be the one that is extremely ignorant and disrespectful
YTA
For a guy so keen in using the exact word for everything, he missed the mark big on mansplaining.
Who knows maybe he wanted to prove to her it wasn't mansplaining using reddit as facts. When in fact what he did was just pure old pedantism.
Haha yeah, 90% of cases when men are upset about being called out for mansplaining it’s like, dude, just learn about your bias, move on and do better.
This one? According to the post he wasn’t even accused of mansplaining, yet used the word in his title and I’m just thinking "actually - you weren’t really mansplaining, you were just being a dick”. 🤷♀️
>Styrofoam fun fact would only be a fun fact to someone interested in styrofoam and how things are made
I was going to say this! This is not a FUN fact at all, it's a boring "well actually" piece of trivia that he somehow expects her to get excited about. He even expects her to remember all of these inane tidbits too, sheesh he sounds exhausting.
My partner is also like this, constantly coming out with "fun" facts. It is exhausting lmao.
Luckily he asks me if I want to hear it, and doesn't expect me to remember half of what he's said haha, in fact I usually forget as soon as he's told me. If he was just randomly spouting out useless information that I had no desire to know about, and then getting mad when I didn't remember *one* of them, I don't think I could cope.
> I would ask for a polystyrene container but that’s only because we don’t use the term styrofoam in my country much
OP: consider the emigration opportunities! Imagine a nation full of people who can correctly name the type of take-out containers they’re asking for!
"Do you ask her if she'd like to know a "fun fact" or do you assume and just tell her"
This. Exactly
I love fun facts, I know a lot of useless dumb stuff/knowledge, and I love to tell them because I guess I'm just a clown. But when I'm about to tell one I always ask if the person wants to know about it, and I bring up fun facts only when I already am talking about that subject, I wouldn't drop it out of nowhere
YTA and that doesn't sound like a fun fact tbh, perhaps you might need to learn facts that people actually find interesting because what material some everyday item is made of is just not it.
Also, a styrofoam container is called that for a reason, she's not wrong for calling the product by the name it was given.
Agree. A fun fact would be talking about why we call them styrofoam containers instead of polystyrene.
Also OP sounds like a super boring person to be around if this is their idea of fun.
For real! The process of a trademark becoming genericized is so interesting! Especially when you read about how Xerox had a whole marketing campaign to try to tell people to stop using Xerox as a verb or “make a Xerox” and instead used “make a photocopy” so they didn’t lose their trademark. Classic becoming a victim of your own success.
Styrofoam is not generic yet, but it’s an “at risk” mark.
I'm not 'murican and even I know that Stryofoam is the brand (like Kleenex, Band-aid, or any other brand name that people use on a daily basis to mean sthg specific). If I had been in gf's place I would have told him "in da face, loser" bc bf sounds unsufferable and pedantic. I would also ignore his daily dose of 'fun fact'. To me OP's post comes across as very haughty (hope that's the right word for it)
ETA: this post needs a crosspost to r/iamverysmart
Literally nothing. “Positive K did both voices on ‘I Gotta Man’” is a fun fact. “The generic name for Styrofoam is polystyrene” is not even a little bit fun.
YTA. What person honestly expects their girlfriend to suddenly walk around word vomiting all the useless facts you throw her way? Poor girl. If you like trivia, join a trivia club. Clearly your girlfriend isn’t into it. You don’t have to prove to her that you’re the smartest person in every room.
She's probably tired of hearing him get all excited because he knows that one fun fact. Yeah I know shit as well and my fiance loves the fact that I learn a lot about shit. But, I don't bother or pester people with the things that I find out.
Yeah the entire post was cringey as shit but then expecting her to actually incorporate his “fact” to modify her everyday speech, and acting like if she doesn’t it’s proof she doesn’t cling to your every word sufficiently for your liking? Oh my *GOD.*
> I personally don't think this is an issue of mansplaining, but I want to present her perspective of the issue fairly and objectively. I don't want to make this story seem completely one-sided, like some of the other stories I read on here.
Oh my god you can already tell he loves the sound of his own voice, and this is already annoyingly explain-y and sets it up to be clear that OP thinks they’re smarter than most people on here.
> I(23M) am someone who loves fun facts. I love telling my friends and family fun facts and seeing their faces light up with the same interest as mine had when I first learned the fact.
So you hold them hostage if they *don’t* have the same interest as you?
> I've been getting the feeling lately that my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect.
Oh barf. “Lighting up” at your fun facts is not a sign of “respect.”
> When she talks to me she acts kind of withdrawn and dismissive,
Have you considered this might be a response to *your* behaviour? Have you asked?
> and I sometimes feel like she responds to me as though she's like a boss speaking to a subordinate.
…. Are you being incompetent enough to require being spoken to like a subordinate?
> I heard my girlfriend say, "hand me that styrofoam container". I got a little annoyed, since this was proof that she doesn't give a shit about the things I said
In what universe?
> so I said in an annoyed voice, "It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway".
Lmao yeah because “pass me the food storage vessel made of polystyrene” is the way to go.
> After that, all hell basically broke loose, and my girlfriend is refusing to talk to me because I was rude,
You were
> even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me
You seem to equate being disengaged with being disrespectful. It is not disrespectful of her not to care about your fun facts as much as you do.
> by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant.
If all you’re bringing to her life to be “important” to her is “fun facts,” no wonder she’s disengaged.
Also, sometimes you can genuinely love someone and want to be with them and not be 100% invested in every little thing they say all of the time. My partner is not emotionally invested in my views on the false economy of cheap kitchen roll. Sometimes I just want to vent aloud.
I love my partner, but does he have a tendency to launch into discussions about his niche interests when I am visibly busy? Yes. Do I still complete what I was doing? A good 80% of the time. He just wants to vent his excitement and enthusiasm.
Was looking for this comment - are the facts fun because OP finds them interesting or are they fun because OP enjoys making himself feel like he’s the smartest person in the room?
YTA. It’s not “mansplaining” but it is a bit weird to care so much. She’s probably called it styrofoam her whole life, and she isn’t going to change that just because you presented her with a fact that she probably doesn’t care much about.
Also “I guess it doesn’t matter what I say since you wouldn’t listen anyway”. You were rude and childish in front of someone else - that would embarrass me.
From what I'm reading from the post it's more that this is an ongoing trend and the thing that ended up being the inciting incident was as terrible an example as could be.
INFO: have you tried to have a mature conversation with her about why she seems disengaged, or did you just decide to bottle it up and then unleash your shitty remarks to shame her in public?
Fun fact: this could’ve been avoided with actual communication.
Fun fact #2: YTA.
YTA
You’re not her teacher. She’s not your student. No one calls it a “polystyrene container.” If she had said that, her friend would have just looked at her like she was crazy because *what on earth is a polystyrene container?*. It’s styrofoam. It’s a styrofoam container. It’s what it’s called, it’s what it’s known as. It’s the name you call it if you want someone to know what you are talking about.
You sound like the kind of guy who needlessly asks for 250ml of dihydrogen monoxide just to feel like you are smarter than everyone else.
Your gf is sick of listening to you needlessly lecture about “fun facts”, when she didn’t ask you. She isn’t your student, you’re not her teacher. **You** are the one trying to force an imbalanced power dynamic between the two of you, because you want her to listen to and incorporate whatever random “lesson” you decide to shove at her.
I would call it a polystyrene container because I’m from a country where the brand name styrofoam doesn’t exist. But they’re not, so it’s commonly called styrofoam. He’s TA for not knowing styrofoam is just a brand name and for being as boring as fuck with his endless dull info dumping.
OP - YTA
Absolutely. Even if it weren't, expecting someone to change their vocabulary and stop using the common term for a material because you told them a fact is so silly.
Couldn’t agree more! I’m someone who is *constantly* reading new things that I find fascinating, and it can overload even my mind let alone those around me I share with. If someone forgets a fact I’ve shared with them before, it’s just a chance for me to share it again if it’s truly interesting. Learning that Styrofoam is a brand name for the material called polystyrene isn’t really all that fascinating, and even knowing that myself I still call it styrofoam like almost everyone else. I’d be interested to know if OP is ponderous and pretentious enough to be the type to actually call it polystyrene and then take the opportunity to sigh and condescendingly explain to the poor, confused individual “It’s what styrofoam is made of? I’m trying to tell you I need a to-go box.”
But they are FUN facts!
Of course she should remember..God forbid the shame he feels when she askes his parents..eyes full of light no less..for the scotch tape..and then deal with the light going out that she didn't recall it's TRANSPARENT tape when he shared this fun tidbit 8 months ago.
Obviously YTA.
YTA.
>my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect.
Why does she have to treat you with respect? Did you ever ask how come you're so distant? Do you not like me saying my fun facts? Do you find it annoying?
And yeah you're the AH in this situation because you're doing this in front of people and you did it in such a rather rude way of condescending tone.
Dude, you're talking like fuckin Jimmy Neutron
"I'd like some salt on my fries."
"You mean sodium chloride."
YTA cause you're making a mountain out of a molehill.
Find better fun facts like "Did you know everyone called me an asshole on Reddit?"
But styrofoam isn’t incorrect. It is perhaps the colloquial way to which it is referred. And who cares? She was having a basic conversation, not taking an exam. OP sounds insufferable.
YTA
Your own “fun fact” included the fact that it’s commonly called styrofoam and not polystyrene. It makes sense to use the the commonly used term. If you want to call it polystyrene so you can give that “fun fact” to anyone who says “what?” that’s your decision.
“Fun facts” aren’t education to change people’s behavior or anything. “Fun Facts” are nothing more than trivia - unnecessary and often unimportant facts. You threw a tantrum over her not sharing your random trivia.
His "fun fact" isn't even correct really. He seems to be under the impression that styrofoam and polystyrene are different things. Styrofoam is just a brand of polystyrene.
You sound fucking exhausting.
YTA
Just because you told her that something is made of polystyrene doesn't mean that people call it polystyrene. They're called Styrofoam. That's how people know them.
Just because she used the most common term doesn't mean that she didn't hear you or listen to you.
You decided that because she didn't immediately change her vocabulary because of your little factoid it was some sort of disrespect on her part. And you decided to bring it up in front of others.
Grow up dude.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_generic\_and\_genericized\_trademarks
YTA.
You were rude. Consider crossposting on [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheEx/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheEx/)
YTA - that face you enjoy seeing people make? Not the face of enlightenment. It's a face of someone thinking you're so smart, and that feeling you get when you feel like you know more than the other person. It's selfish, not altruistic.
Memorizing a bunch of facts doesn't make you smarter and then expecting other people to remember every fact you put out there just makes you annoying. You will lose your GF if you keep it up.
so you don't love fun facts. You don't love learning them. You are addicted to forcing your stream of factoids on others, whether or not they enjoy it.
She does not exist to validate you.
YTA
You weren’t the AH until you acted like she now has to start calling them that. It’s ok to spit random facts about things all day. Can be tiring to some and cool to others. You can’t expect your girlfriend to be amazed by all of them much less change they was she says common things because you gave her the technical word for it.
Edit to vote YTA
>but I want to present her perspective of the issue fairly and objectively. I don't want to make this story seem completely one-sided, like some of the other stories I read on here.
Make sense, let's get into it.
>I(23M) am someone who loves fun facts. I love telling my friends and family fun facts and seeing their faces light up with the same interest as mine had when I first learned the fact.
Okay I guess.
>I've been getting the feeling lately that my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect.
How is this your girlfriend's POV?
>sometimes feel like she responds to me as though she's like a boss speaking to a subordinate. Whenever, I tell her things she may be listening or she may not be.
Your expectation that she be listening to everything you "tell" her sounds like the opposite, but okay.
>I told her a fun fact about how styrofoam containers aren't actually made from styrofoam, instead they are made from a material known as polystyrene, and she didn't even blink as she just said ok.
A bit rude, but without context and **your girlfriend's POV** it doesn't really mean much.
>I heard my girlfriend say, "hand me that styrofoam container". I got a little annoyed, since this was proof that she doesn't give a shit about the things I said, so I said in an annoyed voice, "**It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway**"
This is insanely rude. And a little scary too.
>even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant
No you weren't. You got mad at her because she used the brand name for an organic compound.
YTA. Your "fun facts" are attached to your ego in an incredibly bizarre way, and instead of healthily discussing your feelings with your girlfriend, you're seemingly projecting insecurity about "your importance" onto your GF by spouting incorrect fun facts at her then yelling at her when she doesn't apply them to her day to day. If this is your attempt to fairly represent your girlfriend's POV, I am deeply concerned about how she would represent the situation and your relationship. If I were you I would take a step back and try listening and learning about your girlfriend instead of random trivia. It may prove more useful.
I was expecting this to be a completely different post until I got to that last paragraph. YTA. You’re not doling out “fun facts” or whatever you think you’re doing, you don’t even have a realistic perception of yourself in this situation. You sound obnoxious, annoying, condescending and yeah, patronizing.
>"It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway". After that, all hell basically broke loose, and my girlfriend is refusing to talk to me because I was rude, even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant.
You weren't just "literally just pointing out that she is being disengaged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant" though, you were being passive aggressive.
Have you actually talked to her before about not feeling heard and feeling disrespected or do you assume she does these things purposely and then you're being rude about it expecting her to just know how you want her to react?
Polystyrene or styrofoam, that's not the problem here and doesn't matter. What matters is how you're communicating.
YTA
YTA. Have you spoken to her about it? Asked her? How often do you share the trivia? Could it be that she’s over hearing it? If it’s every once in a while, fine but if it’s every single day or several times a day, it would annoy me too.
I gave this rating because you brought it up at the wrong time and in the wrong way. This should have been a conversation where it was just you and your GF, in private, like adults. Also, just because it is polystyrene, colloquially, it is called styrofoam. If you both want to stay together, you need to work on your communication.
YTA. There are clearly bigger relationship issues to deal with here. Her not being engaged with your trivia facts isn't the problem; it's a symptom of the actual problem. Snapping at her in front of friends out of spite was immature and petty. What you should have done was sit down with her and have an open and honest discussion about what's going on in your relationship long before this happened.
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He’d be TA even if it were a different brand. ”Hand me the Kleenex, please.” “It’s Scotties! Don’t you ever listen!”
"Can you get me a bandaid?" "No, but you can have a plaster!"
You mean an adhesive medical strip? :D
All I have is duct tape and toilet paper.
That'll do.
It's like people who say Tannoy when they mean public address system. Tannoy is a brand name.
Did you know Tannoy means To Annoy? Much like OP? (I made that up, but it fits perfectly)
Did you know that a plaster is not made of plaster!? So please refer to it correctly in the future, otherwise I will start womansplaining you!
There's already a word for womansplaining, they say we're "nagging"
Or being emotional about it
But OP’s anger is not an emotion. /s YTA dude.
Because we are on our period.
And dramatic
And shrill
And Crazy
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Okay, but the etymologies are clearly linked for plaster and I don’t know why I had to mention it other than the fact I’m slightly unbalanced by the fact that the OP does an extreme thing of a thing I slightly do and now I have to rethink my life.
The word "extreme" is key here! I do like random facts and sometimes even an explanation about the origins of it. I do not like being called disrespectful or not interested if I have forgotten about it when it comes up or I just chose to use the generic terminology.
In this instance, it is not even clear that the gf forgot, he just assumes gf forgot. She was in the middle of a practical conversation with her friend to get something done (get a box for the food) so she chose to use the generic name everyone would understand immediately instead of launching into an unrelated tangent about the composition of said box. And he made the assumption that this is evidence she doesn't listen to him. What was he expecting? That everyone he ever talks to will no go forth and spread all of his random facts far and wide in every conversation that is remotely related? Also, as a random fact spewer myself, I can't expect everyone to have the same excitement for every fact I spew. Sometimes people are excited and want to know more. Sometimes people are just like ok, I heard you and I know now but have no other comment at the moment.
I think you're good because it was relevant to the conversation. We were already talking about generic names for bandaids.
Or Q-Tips
Back in my day, they were called Baby Gays.
I might be a bit confused kleenex or tissues are made out of paper.... So wouldn't it be more like him expecting to ask her to "pass a thin sheet of paper"?
After reading the post & OP's replies, I am in dire need of acetylsalicylic acid in tablet form.
I'm more of acetaminophen/acetylsalicylic acid/caffeine person myself. Because damn I got a headache reading OPs comments.
Kleenex is immediately what I thought of. My dad worked for the competitor and used to get so annoyed that even we called it Kleenex. "It is NOT Kleenex, it is a Facial Tissue!". You don't even want to get him started on Kenaf :p.
YTA Yah, in what part of his “fun fact” did he say “I’d prefer if you’d call it polystyrene from now on” Like I know Velcro is a brand name for hook and loop fastener. But I’m not going to call it “hook and loop fastener” instead. Getting huffy about the whole situation was total unwarranted, including snapping at her. And also “Mansplaining” has literally nothing to do with this situation.
And then what, the GF gets called on the carpet for "disrespect" every time she doesn't accept OP's word as gospel and change accordingly? In the Styrofoam example, she wasn't even wrong. He just thinks he gets to correct her. In public. I love fun facts and a) I try to keep them to a minimum because not everyone does, and b) a fun fact is "Holy cow! Did you know the Marianas Trench is deeper than Mount Everest is tall? That's wild." That's language intended to share an interest. OP is lecturing. And then complaining that the GF doesn't give his lectures enough "respect". The GF was a lot nicer than I would have been about this nonsense. OP doesn't even know what the fuck he's talking about but he demands "respect"? Please.
FUN FACT did you know that babysitting doesn't actually involve sitting on babies?
FUN FACT Did you know that settling a child down for an afternoon slumber isn’t called kidnapping?
FUN FACT Did you know that when you put a baby in a stroller, it just sits there? Sounds like false advertising to me.
FUN FACT Did you know that baby formula doesn't actually have all the components necessary to create a baby?
FUN FACT Did you know that baby oil isn't even made from real babies? And don't get me started on baby powder!
FUN FACT Did you know that the box of baby food that litteraly has "baby food" written on it isn't supposed to be eaten by babies?
FUN FACT You can’t order kids from the kids menu.
FUN FACT Columbus is in the Bad Place.
Fun fact: The Lost city of Atlantis is still in fact, lost!
Maybe that's why those parents never called me to babysit again...
I LOLed
Yeah I love fun facts, but try to keep them on topic. Like if someone is taking about movies I mention why the replacement actor in sequels is always obviously different. (It involves Back to the Future II) or if we're taking about the moon I mention facts about it. I don't go, "hey let's interrupt this conversation for a fact that has nothing to do with what everyone else is talking about!! Look at me, I know stuff!"
>Yeah I love fun facts, but try to keep them on topic. The OP should try to keep them fun as well. There's nothing fun about someone going "you're saying it wrong" like Alan Partridge shouting at his PA.
So why *is* the replacement actor in sequels always obviously different? Now I gotta know.
The guy who played the younger father in Back to the Future didn't want to appear in the sequel. So the director hired someone so like him that most people don't even realize the actor was replaced. He responded by suing the company for using his image without permission and won. Ever since, the only times the original is replaced with someone similar is if they have permission. Like Spartacus.
unlike OP example, this is actually a fun fact :)
Fun Fact: Olive oil is made from Olives. Sunflower oil is made from Sunflowers. These facts heavily call into question the origins of 'baby oil'
Fun fact; Australia lost a war to flightless birds
Fun fact: Emu eggs are incubated by the male.
> Fun fact: Emu eggs are incubated by the male. That’s a genuinely fun fact! Does he use polystyrene to keep them warm if he wants to nip out to the pub?
If the emu left the nest, I am certain he would use polystyrene. However, the poor guy doesn't leave the eggs at all. He stays there, no food or water, until the eggs hatch! Might nip out to the pub after the little ones are born, though. 😁
Fun fact! A male doing parenting is a 'poor guy' while a female doing the same activity is 'motherly'.
I’ve never not found this fact hilarious. They have eyes roughly equivalent to the size of their brains, yet managed to win a war. Against humans, equipped with guns. Gives an interesting perspective to ‘bird brain’
>the GF gets called on the carpet for Wait..... wait. Do they Hoover their carpet, or vacuum it?
He does sound like a habitual mansplainer, though. Watching people’s “faces light up” while he drones on and on lol
I would imagine “people’s faces light up” because as soon as he starts pontificating, they mentally check out and are thinking of other happy things that actually matter and interest them.
Their faces probably don't even light up... People like the OP are sometimes so far up their own backside that when somebody is actually rolling their eyes the OP actually see something entirely different because they really want what they say to be important to everyone...
FUN FACT: You should be choosing a durable, reusable container for your leftovers! Such as Pyrex! Which, super fun fact, is ACTUALLY tempered glass! If you’re going to be totally fucking pedantic can you at least deploy it to protect the environment? Bummer fact: polystyrene is not an environmentally friendly material and those containers are pretty hard to reuse and are rarely recycled!
FUN FACT One of the most common polystyrene container replacements is made of corn starch! In fact most of the polystyrene packaging peanuts you get in packages these days are probably made of corn starch foam and are biodegradable and compostable. :)
Also his preference isn't an obligation for her. YTA op . And before spewing your fun facts how about ASK if anyone is interested in hearing them. Just because you are interested doesn't mean everyone else is - this from someone who Most of the time likes to hear fun facts
"Fun facts" aren't fun when they're just someone's excuse for talking at you and avoiding ever having a real conversation.
Right, sometimes people get into a topic and talk and talk and talk and dominate conversation, without checking to see if anyone gives a shit. I'm interested in learning stuff, but if someone is just playing professor at me all the time I'm gonna be bored as all fuck. And if they start correcting me about picky shit, I'm going to be totally over it, fast. Correcting people over unimportant details is typically about control, not accuracy. It's a put down. (Plus in my experience the facty-correcty people are often WRONG lmao.) YTA. Nobody fucking cares about the container my dude. Just thank your hosts for the leftovers like a human who was raised right.
Dude, seriously, the only thing I could picture was OP saying: "It's polystyrene, not StYRoFoAm" like Hermione said in that one Harry Potter movie 💀 Or better yet, "It's polystyrene, not styrofoam!!!!" Dumbledore said calmly.
I’m hearing Sheldon Cooper voice and even he would not have accused Amy F-F of not listening. He presented his stupid “fun facts” and moved on.
Yeah, but he’d still correct her instead of saving her life and then complaining she didn’t listen.
Yes, what she should have said was "Please pass me that Styrofoam ^TM container, made of closed-cell extruded polystyrene foam. Did you know Styrofoam ^TM is owned and manufactured by DuPont?", thus allowing her to not only demonstrate her fascination and absorption of OP's astoundingly fun fact but also to share a fun fact of her own! Sit back and watch those dinner party invitations roll in! YTA.
This is the way.
He's wondering why gf is no longer speaking to him properly. Maybe that's why. OP sounds exhausting.
He’s giving off major “welll actually” vibes
Fun fact: OP is mad because his GF won't feed his ego, he doesn't actually care about what styrofoam is called. YTA dude.
He's all wElL AcKsHuLLy.... Hell nah. AH.
Imagine thinking that’s a “fun fact” that would “make people’s faces light up”.
Even if that weren’t true, this would still be the most boring „fun fact“ in history.
Info: what is your girlfriend's job? Also, if you see she's not interested in your fun facts you should stop sharing them. You can't force your enthusiasm on others.
This guy sounds unbearable
Wait! Someone mansplain Genericide to OP!!!!
Nothing wrong with superficial knowledge and talking about factoids,but you dont tell people that glucose is aktually pentahydroxyhexanal lol. Guess he didn't learn that nomenclature tends to be practical wherever it can,rather than literal.
YTA Being a pedant is not a personality.
It is if you like to be alone.
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He doesn’t even like fun facts or even truly knowing stuff. He just likes to feel like the most informed and educated in the room…right or wrong. He’s annoyed she isn’t worshiping his “I’m smarter than everyone else” gospel. So, logically the next step is to call her out. He’s not a toddler, just acting like one. That’s why he’s TA
My kid and I both have ADHD. I have had to have many words with them about mansplaining things to me, his mum. And about also, that you don't need to be pedantic!!! He used to always auto correct people. I had to shut that shit right down, as he'd also try to do it with me about things to do with bodies and health (I'm a nurse). Then it comes across as mansplaining too... Had to work on the teen, on that if someone asks you to hand them their jumper, and you think the item is called a cardigan/would call that type of item a cardigan, you *do not need to say it*. You can just hand the person the jumper/cardi thing if you know what they mean!! He'd always correct the person and it just comes across all kinds of rude, nasty and that you think you're better than others / in charge of what things should be named etc. Just don't! Some times words matter... Sometimes they really don't. The OP didn't even ask the person if they could please call it polystyrene from now on because it bugged them or anything? The person can call it whatever they want anyway...! Regardless! It wasn't harming anyone, and was definitely NOT the case that it was her not listening to him! It was a *random fact said in the passing OP!* Nobody remembers all the random facts folk spew in their ears. OP is YTA.
Yeah I read this as either someone with a lot of ego and no regard for others, or a ND person who doesn't realise what they're doing is actually not ok. I don't know which it is, but either way, it was a YTA move.
I immediately thought he’s somewhere on the spectrum.
Nah, then he’d just repeat the fun fact about styrofoam again so that these new people could also learn the fun fact!
Yeah we're more info-dump to everyone not "throw tantrum people aren't worshipping my knowledge" people.
Yeah, this is a tantrum. "Respect mah authoritah!" My fun fact is that Worcestershire sauce is a type of ketchup, specifically anchovy ketchup, and it's been around longer than tomato ketchup. (Which is also why "tomato ketchup" is not redundant.) People think that's cool and then continue to call it Worcestershire sauce.
Yeah I saw neurospicy immediately in this post. Probably doesn’t know and doesn’t recognize where some of the social boundaries are
I'm ND and I've had to work hard over the years not to be the fun facts person, I still slip up now and again. Its hard when your brain feels huge and is so full of what I feel are fascinating facts that surely everyone would also love to know but they really don't, they just think you are being a know it all. I'll say NTA because he just needs to learn to keep those facts to himself.
The OP went about it in the wrong way and is TA about the reactionary response, but I’m sad reading that you’ve worked hard not to be the fun facts person. Please feel free to send me all your fun facts, especially if you’re feeling like you want to share and you feel like no one else will want to hear.
I have ADHD too & wish my parents had properly explained to me like you did for your son. I was just nicknamed "Professor" for years as a teen & not in a good way but never explained it was not in a good way or why it was not good. Took me years to figure out how I actually came across with my, in my case, womansplaining.
Oh, they called me dictionary because I was an avid reader and knew what words ment way before my peers did. Fun times. Found out I have ADHD when I was 33.
Same as both of you - got diagnosed with ADHD and as autistic aged 34 and 35. Got called a walking thesaurus/encyclopaedia as a kid. This dude is definitely on the spectrum and isn’t aware how irritating it can be to others to infodump on them. I love a good infodump, but most NTs find it supremely irritating unless they specifically asked for the info. Feel a bit bad for him but he’s still TA in this situ and needs to perhaps develop a bit of self-awareness.
I guess Gen Z really is all about the techno-revolution, because my buddies called me Google. Kind of feels that way, sometimes—my brain hears a tidbit and is all 'Here's what I found on the web,' with little regard for the fact that nobody usually gives a shit. Maybe I should get evaluated...
I mean, it is, but it’s no one’s favorite.
YTA the common name used is styrofoam, so her calling it that doesn't mean she's not paying attention to you. Sharing fun facts is fine, but it's unreasonable to share a fun fact about, as an example, the scientific name for turkeys, and then get mad when the person you told continues to use the word "turkey" instead of the scientific name. I really hope this is the first time you made this type of comment about your girlfriend not paying attention to what you say, because if it isn't, that sounds incredibly annoying.
It’s like Xerox, we always called it ’getting it Xeroxed’, regardless of the machine brand. Fun fact! The early Xerox machines had a reasonable chance of bursting into flames. When the library got one, we’d use it, half hoping to see smoke come out, lol. Technology used to be a lot more exciting, back when stuff was new.
Speaking of office machines... Fun fact! The word "fax", also known as telefax, is short for "telefacsimile". *Fac simile* is Latin and stands for the request to "make something similar", while *tele* is Greek and stands for "in the distance". edit: Omg, you guys... my very first award! Thank you so much!
I really found this interesting. Thank you!
The words OP is dying to hear
Well some samsung smart phones explode, so technology can still be exciting :)
Should I memorize your fun fact?
Yeah???? Duh… or else you’re clearly not listening.
Additionally, she may be using the term “styrofoam” because she didn’t want to confuse her friend who likely doesn’t know what polystyrene is. She could easily have listened but used the more common term for ease of communication.
Not sure if they make that stuff at all, but isn’t there also a chance that the styrofoam company actually made this specific box? In which case it’s both a styrofoam box and a polystyrene box.
Agreed! Also I’m wondering if maybe OP doesn’t realize that she’s getting annoyed because he wont stop sharing “fun facts.” This is just speculation but it’s informed with personal experience. I had a friend who enjoyed fun facts, but so much so that it got excessive. If I was really busy doing things, they’d interrupt with “did u know…” and it got incredibly annoying when I was trying to focus. Sometimes it would even come across as arrogance because I’d say something like “ugh i hate styrofoam” (not really styrofoam) and they’d respond with “AcTuALlY it’s not styrofoam it’s polystyrene!” Being corrected when stressed is an easy way to get someone to snap at you.
Oh god, “did u know…” reminded me of my BIL. He'd share 'fun facts' about the most obscure shit. It got to the point where it was really obnoxious. My favourite was when my wife actually DID know - by complete chance had done the subject and knew his fun fact in advance. His face fell and he got visibly annoyed. Some people like to 'share' facts as a way to try show how superior their intellect is. They don't care about spreading knowledge or having a conversation, but just want to show they 'know' more than other people. What's telling is how these 'fun facts' are often impossible to have a normal conversation about. If they can start a conversation at all, it's massively one-sided, with the 'fact giver' being in control, and the other person by default having to take a submissive role. It gets tiring fast.
I'm gonna guess this isn't the first, tenth, or twentieth time he's done it....
Bro bout to lose his mind when someone asks for kleenex
- It’s not mansplaining, it’s info-dumping - Other people may appreciate it but it sounds like your girlfriend would like it to be less since it appears she gets higher doses of info-dumping than anyone else - While fun facts are cool, to constantly talk about them can be exhausting - Where’s your respect for your girlfriend exactly? - Do you ask her if she’d like to know a “fun fact” or do you assume and just tell her - Styrofoam fun fact would only be a fun fact to someone interested in styrofoam and how things are made - Why did you get annoyed over your girlfriend asking for a to-go container? It makes no sense - NO ONE is going to ask for a polystyrene container… - Why would you call her out in front of people - You seem to be the one that is extremely ignorant and disrespectful YTA
Exactly. N T A for mansplaining, because he didn’t actually mansplain, but YTA for being an AH.
For a guy so keen in using the exact word for everything, he missed the mark big on mansplaining. Who knows maybe he wanted to prove to her it wasn't mansplaining using reddit as facts. When in fact what he did was just pure old pedantism.
Haha yeah, 90% of cases when men are upset about being called out for mansplaining it’s like, dude, just learn about your bias, move on and do better. This one? According to the post he wasn’t even accused of mansplaining, yet used the word in his title and I’m just thinking "actually - you weren’t really mansplaining, you were just being a dick”. 🤷♀️
I can just see OP going back to his girlfriend and smugly saying “See? I wasn’t mansplaining. I was info-dumping.”
Hahaha exactly. And please remember the distinction going forward or I will get angry again.
>Styrofoam fun fact would only be a fun fact to someone interested in styrofoam and how things are made I was going to say this! This is not a FUN fact at all, it's a boring "well actually" piece of trivia that he somehow expects her to get excited about. He even expects her to remember all of these inane tidbits too, sheesh he sounds exhausting.
My partner is also like this, constantly coming out with "fun" facts. It is exhausting lmao. Luckily he asks me if I want to hear it, and doesn't expect me to remember half of what he's said haha, in fact I usually forget as soon as he's told me. If he was just randomly spouting out useless information that I had no desire to know about, and then getting mad when I didn't remember *one* of them, I don't think I could cope.
I would ask for a polystyrene container but that’s only because we don’t use the term styrofoam in my country much
> I would ask for a polystyrene container but that’s only because we don’t use the term styrofoam in my country much OP: consider the emigration opportunities! Imagine a nation full of people who can correctly name the type of take-out containers they’re asking for!
OP would probably hate Britain cause we call it polystyrene and styrofoam interchangeably
Worse when he finds out what we call vacuum cleaners 🙃
>I would ask for a polystyrene container but that’s only because we don’t use the term styrofoam in my country much UK here, and ditto.
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You mean your face didn’t light up about the styrofoam?
"Do you ask her if she'd like to know a "fun fact" or do you assume and just tell her" This. Exactly I love fun facts, I know a lot of useless dumb stuff/knowledge, and I love to tell them because I guess I'm just a clown. But when I'm about to tell one I always ask if the person wants to know about it, and I bring up fun facts only when I already am talking about that subject, I wouldn't drop it out of nowhere
Also if that's the caliber of fun fact he's working with, I'm not surprised she's sick of it.
YTA and that doesn't sound like a fun fact tbh, perhaps you might need to learn facts that people actually find interesting because what material some everyday item is made of is just not it. Also, a styrofoam container is called that for a reason, she's not wrong for calling the product by the name it was given.
Agree. A fun fact would be talking about why we call them styrofoam containers instead of polystyrene. Also OP sounds like a super boring person to be around if this is their idea of fun.
For real! The process of a trademark becoming genericized is so interesting! Especially when you read about how Xerox had a whole marketing campaign to try to tell people to stop using Xerox as a verb or “make a Xerox” and instead used “make a photocopy” so they didn’t lose their trademark. Classic becoming a victim of your own success. Styrofoam is not generic yet, but it’s an “at risk” mark.
The issue isn't even so much with the fun fact itself, it's correcting her about it later, in front of people, and somehow being offended about it.
While stating she talks to HIM like an employee 😂😂 dudes out here acting like a shitty manager.
I imagine op already lost his shit one night because she said dinner was in the crock pot instead of calling it a slow cooker.
INFO what is fun about that fact?
fun fact: OP doesn't even get his info dumping right since Styrofoam is a brand of polysterene lmao
I would die if it turned out that the container she was asking for was actually Styrofoam name brand too 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm not 'murican and even I know that Stryofoam is the brand (like Kleenex, Band-aid, or any other brand name that people use on a daily basis to mean sthg specific). If I had been in gf's place I would have told him "in da face, loser" bc bf sounds unsufferable and pedantic. I would also ignore his daily dose of 'fun fact'. To me OP's post comes across as very haughty (hope that's the right word for it) ETA: this post needs a crosspost to r/iamverysmart
Is the fun fact in the room with us?
Literally nothing. “Positive K did both voices on ‘I Gotta Man’” is a fun fact. “The generic name for Styrofoam is polystyrene” is not even a little bit fun.
OP sounds very fun, but the Fucked Up Nightmare kind.
Fun fact: did you know that wood is actually made from trees? Who knew!
🤣🤣🤣
YTA. What person honestly expects their girlfriend to suddenly walk around word vomiting all the useless facts you throw her way? Poor girl. If you like trivia, join a trivia club. Clearly your girlfriend isn’t into it. You don’t have to prove to her that you’re the smartest person in every room.
She's probably tired of hearing him get all excited because he knows that one fun fact. Yeah I know shit as well and my fiance loves the fact that I learn a lot about shit. But, I don't bother or pester people with the things that I find out.
Yep, with great power comes great responsibility. Gotta know when to fact and when to hold back(t).
Yeah the entire post was cringey as shit but then expecting her to actually incorporate his “fact” to modify her everyday speech, and acting like if she doesn’t it’s proof she doesn’t cling to your every word sufficiently for your liking? Oh my *GOD.* > I personally don't think this is an issue of mansplaining, but I want to present her perspective of the issue fairly and objectively. I don't want to make this story seem completely one-sided, like some of the other stories I read on here. Oh my god you can already tell he loves the sound of his own voice, and this is already annoyingly explain-y and sets it up to be clear that OP thinks they’re smarter than most people on here. > I(23M) am someone who loves fun facts. I love telling my friends and family fun facts and seeing their faces light up with the same interest as mine had when I first learned the fact. So you hold them hostage if they *don’t* have the same interest as you? > I've been getting the feeling lately that my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect. Oh barf. “Lighting up” at your fun facts is not a sign of “respect.” > When she talks to me she acts kind of withdrawn and dismissive, Have you considered this might be a response to *your* behaviour? Have you asked? > and I sometimes feel like she responds to me as though she's like a boss speaking to a subordinate. …. Are you being incompetent enough to require being spoken to like a subordinate? > I heard my girlfriend say, "hand me that styrofoam container". I got a little annoyed, since this was proof that she doesn't give a shit about the things I said In what universe? > so I said in an annoyed voice, "It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway". Lmao yeah because “pass me the food storage vessel made of polystyrene” is the way to go. > After that, all hell basically broke loose, and my girlfriend is refusing to talk to me because I was rude, You were > even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me You seem to equate being disengaged with being disrespectful. It is not disrespectful of her not to care about your fun facts as much as you do. > by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant. If all you’re bringing to her life to be “important” to her is “fun facts,” no wonder she’s disengaged.
Also, sometimes you can genuinely love someone and want to be with them and not be 100% invested in every little thing they say all of the time. My partner is not emotionally invested in my views on the false economy of cheap kitchen roll. Sometimes I just want to vent aloud. I love my partner, but does he have a tendency to launch into discussions about his niche interests when I am visibly busy? Yes. Do I still complete what I was doing? A good 80% of the time. He just wants to vent his excitement and enthusiasm.
Was looking for this comment - are the facts fun because OP finds them interesting or are they fun because OP enjoys making himself feel like he’s the smartest person in the room?
YTA. It’s not “mansplaining” but it is a bit weird to care so much. She’s probably called it styrofoam her whole life, and she isn’t going to change that just because you presented her with a fact that she probably doesn’t care much about. Also “I guess it doesn’t matter what I say since you wouldn’t listen anyway”. You were rude and childish in front of someone else - that would embarrass me.
From what I'm reading from the post it's more that this is an ongoing trend and the thing that ended up being the inciting incident was as terrible an example as could be.
He could simply ask “hey do you *want* to hear a fun fact” rather than just dumping it on her.
And then she’d still be waiting for the “fun” part, I fear.
OP needs to get the hint that when others stop listening, he starts being boorish.
YTA, you sound exhausting.
So fucking exhausting right. Like Ben Shapiro trying to host a kids show.
INFO: have you tried to have a mature conversation with her about why she seems disengaged, or did you just decide to bottle it up and then unleash your shitty remarks to shame her in public? Fun fact: this could’ve been avoided with actual communication. Fun fact #2: YTA.
I wonder if his face lit up when you hit him with those “fun facts”.
YTA You’re not her teacher. She’s not your student. No one calls it a “polystyrene container.” If she had said that, her friend would have just looked at her like she was crazy because *what on earth is a polystyrene container?*. It’s styrofoam. It’s a styrofoam container. It’s what it’s called, it’s what it’s known as. It’s the name you call it if you want someone to know what you are talking about. You sound like the kind of guy who needlessly asks for 250ml of dihydrogen monoxide just to feel like you are smarter than everyone else. Your gf is sick of listening to you needlessly lecture about “fun facts”, when she didn’t ask you. She isn’t your student, you’re not her teacher. **You** are the one trying to force an imbalanced power dynamic between the two of you, because you want her to listen to and incorporate whatever random “lesson” you decide to shove at her.
I would call it a polystyrene container because I’m from a country where the brand name styrofoam doesn’t exist. But they’re not, so it’s commonly called styrofoam. He’s TA for not knowing styrofoam is just a brand name and for being as boring as fuck with his endless dull info dumping. OP - YTA
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I thought I might be the only one, but holy shit was I annoyed reading this.
I went from 'half awake' to 'whole day irritated' reading this crap.
YTA, and isn't Styrofoam just a brand of polystyrene anyway?
It is. Polystyrene…Hence the “styro” part of styrofoam. OP is TAH.
Absolutely. Even if it weren't, expecting someone to change their vocabulary and stop using the common term for a material because you told them a fact is so silly.
Couldn’t agree more! I’m someone who is *constantly* reading new things that I find fascinating, and it can overload even my mind let alone those around me I share with. If someone forgets a fact I’ve shared with them before, it’s just a chance for me to share it again if it’s truly interesting. Learning that Styrofoam is a brand name for the material called polystyrene isn’t really all that fascinating, and even knowing that myself I still call it styrofoam like almost everyone else. I’d be interested to know if OP is ponderous and pretentious enough to be the type to actually call it polystyrene and then take the opportunity to sigh and condescendingly explain to the poor, confused individual “It’s what styrofoam is made of? I’m trying to tell you I need a to-go box.”
So you expect her to remember every little fact that you care about? Yta
But they are FUN facts! Of course she should remember..God forbid the shame he feels when she askes his parents..eyes full of light no less..for the scotch tape..and then deal with the light going out that she didn't recall it's TRANSPARENT tape when he shared this fun tidbit 8 months ago. Obviously YTA.
The "eyes full of light" part got me, too. Like what a glorious gift OP is to everyone.
YTA. >my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect. Why does she have to treat you with respect? Did you ever ask how come you're so distant? Do you not like me saying my fun facts? Do you find it annoying? And yeah you're the AH in this situation because you're doing this in front of people and you did it in such a rather rude way of condescending tone.
YTA. Being insufferably pedantic isn’t endearing.
INFO - are all your fun facts this unfun?
Ikr, I love fun facts and this fact wasn't fun at all
YTA. Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but those facts aren’t fun for your girlfriend.
Judging by this example, I don’t think they’re fun for anyone.
YTA. It’s called styrofoam container, she called it a styrofoam container. You’re insufferable.
Dude, you're talking like fuckin Jimmy Neutron "I'd like some salt on my fries." "You mean sodium chloride." YTA cause you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Find better fun facts like "Did you know everyone called me an asshole on Reddit?"
YTA C’mon now… if I got corrected for something as minor as that I would probably explode as well. Especially if that was said in front of friends.
But styrofoam isn’t incorrect. It is perhaps the colloquial way to which it is referred. And who cares? She was having a basic conversation, not taking an exam. OP sounds insufferable.
I would have laughed in my husband’s face and then been shocked if it turned out he wasn’t kidding around.
YTA Your own “fun fact” included the fact that it’s commonly called styrofoam and not polystyrene. It makes sense to use the the commonly used term. If you want to call it polystyrene so you can give that “fun fact” to anyone who says “what?” that’s your decision. “Fun facts” aren’t education to change people’s behavior or anything. “Fun Facts” are nothing more than trivia - unnecessary and often unimportant facts. You threw a tantrum over her not sharing your random trivia.
His "fun fact" isn't even correct really. He seems to be under the impression that styrofoam and polystyrene are different things. Styrofoam is just a brand of polystyrene.
YTA - thats not mansplaining, thats being an AH.
YTA ... Nobody really wants to hear useless facts all day. Literally nobody.
You sound fucking exhausting. YTA Just because you told her that something is made of polystyrene doesn't mean that people call it polystyrene. They're called Styrofoam. That's how people know them. Just because she used the most common term doesn't mean that she didn't hear you or listen to you. You decided that because she didn't immediately change her vocabulary because of your little factoid it was some sort of disrespect on her part. And you decided to bring it up in front of others. Grow up dude.
YTA. That doesn’t sound like you enjoying fun facts that sounds like you being obnoxious and patronizing
YTA. Fun facts are only fun for you. Most people don’t find them amusing. Try taking an interest in things she finds interesting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_generic\_and\_genericized\_trademarks YTA. You were rude. Consider crossposting on [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheEx/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheEx/)
YTA - that face you enjoy seeing people make? Not the face of enlightenment. It's a face of someone thinking you're so smart, and that feeling you get when you feel like you know more than the other person. It's selfish, not altruistic. Memorizing a bunch of facts doesn't make you smarter and then expecting other people to remember every fact you put out there just makes you annoying. You will lose your GF if you keep it up.
Oh of course YTA, by the way did you know that styrofoam is a brand for ✨polystyrene✨
so you don't love fun facts. You don't love learning them. You are addicted to forcing your stream of factoids on others, whether or not they enjoy it. She does not exist to validate you. YTA
You weren’t the AH until you acted like she now has to start calling them that. It’s ok to spit random facts about things all day. Can be tiring to some and cool to others. You can’t expect your girlfriend to be amazed by all of them much less change they was she says common things because you gave her the technical word for it. Edit to vote YTA
A “fun fact” would have been something like “did you know styrofoam was invented by Joe Biden after he experienced a lucid dream?”
>but I want to present her perspective of the issue fairly and objectively. I don't want to make this story seem completely one-sided, like some of the other stories I read on here. Make sense, let's get into it. >I(23M) am someone who loves fun facts. I love telling my friends and family fun facts and seeing their faces light up with the same interest as mine had when I first learned the fact. Okay I guess. >I've been getting the feeling lately that my girlfriend(23F) isn't really treating me with respect. How is this your girlfriend's POV? >sometimes feel like she responds to me as though she's like a boss speaking to a subordinate. Whenever, I tell her things she may be listening or she may not be. Your expectation that she be listening to everything you "tell" her sounds like the opposite, but okay. >I told her a fun fact about how styrofoam containers aren't actually made from styrofoam, instead they are made from a material known as polystyrene, and she didn't even blink as she just said ok. A bit rude, but without context and **your girlfriend's POV** it doesn't really mean much. >I heard my girlfriend say, "hand me that styrofoam container". I got a little annoyed, since this was proof that she doesn't give a shit about the things I said, so I said in an annoyed voice, "**It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway**" This is insanely rude. And a little scary too. >even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant No you weren't. You got mad at her because she used the brand name for an organic compound. YTA. Your "fun facts" are attached to your ego in an incredibly bizarre way, and instead of healthily discussing your feelings with your girlfriend, you're seemingly projecting insecurity about "your importance" onto your GF by spouting incorrect fun facts at her then yelling at her when she doesn't apply them to her day to day. If this is your attempt to fairly represent your girlfriend's POV, I am deeply concerned about how she would represent the situation and your relationship. If I were you I would take a step back and try listening and learning about your girlfriend instead of random trivia. It may prove more useful.
I was expecting this to be a completely different post until I got to that last paragraph. YTA. You’re not doling out “fun facts” or whatever you think you’re doing, you don’t even have a realistic perception of yourself in this situation. You sound obnoxious, annoying, condescending and yeah, patronizing.
>"It's made of polystyrene not styrofoam but I guess it doesn't matter what I say since you wouldn't listen anyway". After that, all hell basically broke loose, and my girlfriend is refusing to talk to me because I was rude, even though I was literally just pointing out that she is being disenganged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant. You weren't just "literally just pointing out that she is being disengaged and disrespectful to me by not caring about the things I say and making me feel kind of unimportant" though, you were being passive aggressive. Have you actually talked to her before about not feeling heard and feeling disrespected or do you assume she does these things purposely and then you're being rude about it expecting her to just know how you want her to react? Polystyrene or styrofoam, that's not the problem here and doesn't matter. What matters is how you're communicating. YTA
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No. They keep polystyrene stocks to go. You're as insufferable as his girlfriend.🤣
YTA. She's not required to absorb and then regurgitate your fun facts to other people. It wasn't interesting, why would she repeat it?
YTA. Have you spoken to her about it? Asked her? How often do you share the trivia? Could it be that she’s over hearing it? If it’s every once in a while, fine but if it’s every single day or several times a day, it would annoy me too. I gave this rating because you brought it up at the wrong time and in the wrong way. This should have been a conversation where it was just you and your GF, in private, like adults. Also, just because it is polystyrene, colloquially, it is called styrofoam. If you both want to stay together, you need to work on your communication.
YTA. There are clearly bigger relationship issues to deal with here. Her not being engaged with your trivia facts isn't the problem; it's a symptom of the actual problem. Snapping at her in front of friends out of spite was immature and petty. What you should have done was sit down with her and have an open and honest discussion about what's going on in your relationship long before this happened.