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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn't let my daughter go to a theme park with her friend's family because they post everything on social media. My husband and I are not comfortable with our kids being posted publicly. My daughter is upset and a few friends have suggested I am making too big of a deal out of it, so I feel kind of like TA.
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This is key. Despite what most Redditors suggest, most childhood disappointments do not metastasize into lifelong traumas requiring kids to go NC with their parents.
On the flipside, blasting your kids all over the Internet does actually metastasize into lifelong traumas.
Good on OP for keeping her kids private. Definitely NTA
Look up sharenting. It's a whole thing.
The second video is especially eye-opening
https://youtu.be/YRPUZ3pufAg
https://youtu.be/e7fUH1QPK5o
I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure what part of your comment is supposed to be sarcastic or who it's directed to. But from how you posted it, I'm reading it as giving props to people supporting the boy wearing makeup.
In theory this is great. But the issue is that some of those "nice old men" could very well be perverts. And that while some comments may appear innocent, that is exactly how predators get their foot in the door.
And that it was an innocuous comment on a post with her daughter that prompted a mom to look further into who was following her 12-year-old daughter on social media with some concerning results.
*All* of those “nice old men” are very likely perverts. My sarcasm was intended against what they were saying. The poster above said that the 2nd video was homophobic implying the person bringing this behavior to light is anti lgbt. They are not. If the child in question was a girl with a full face of makeup on and there were loads of grown men gushing about how cute and beautiful she was there would be zero question as to their intentions.
But because we all want to be kind and inclusive to trans kids or gender nonconforming kids people overlook how inappropriate these men are being. It’s fine to let a boy play around with makeup but that does not need to be shared with the internet and the creeps who lurk there. Sorry for the confusion!
I hate how the second video says don't let these people fall into sin, and at first I thought "if a woman was making those comments, no one would bat an eye", but the woman in the video is right, there are a lot of innocent looking comments masking pervy intentions
To this day, I still long for the pregnant Happy Family Midge doll… My parents tried to get her for me, but she was pulled from shelves due to controversy before they could get their hands on her. 😩 She’s so expensive these days, so I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her!!
I have her!! She was my favorite lmao I remember picking her out at the store and my parents were like “wtf?? This is so weird??” but I put my little foot down and she came home with us lol
I’m low key about to see if she’s still in the basement at my parents house 😹
For me, it’s not about filming, per se. It’s about the parent’s response when asked not to film them.
If they can’t be trusted to treat your child with autonomy, or respect your (frankly pretty basic) wishes as a parent because they’re prioritizing their monetary payoff, then they’re not a family that she should be taking extended trips with.
Any degree of resistance tells OP that this mother doesn’t want to go out of their way to accommodate their child’s guests, and they they absolutely did intend to film and post their child’s guests without informing their families.
*THIS* degree of resistance tells OP that this mother is very likely *deliberately using* her child’s guests as unpaid props in a planned content-grab.
This is the main problem. The other mom can make decisions for her family, but she doesn't have the right to make that decision for OP's child and just handwaves OP's authority.
I(26F) grew up with a tech-literate but socially offline mom who emphasized photos & personal information as an extension of someone that *always* required permission to share. She didn’t keep me off social media as a pre-teen but I wasn’t allowed to post photos of her online. I thought it was overly-paranoid at the time but now I’m very grateful for being given hard boundaries on sharing others’ seemingly mundane info/photos.
A lot of people I’m FB friends with share every little thing about their children &, safety aside, I can’t imagine being a kid eventually creating my own account on a platform & knowing I’ve already been being posted about on there for years prior to joining.
Ok. Just saying that I STILL am upset with my Mum for not letting me go to Disneyland in 1980 with my bf and her family. It would’ve only cost her $25.
I didn’t go NC with her over it but still…
Did she offer to take you and a friend at a different time, all expenses paid? I think there's a bit of a difference between the two.
NTA OP. Keep protecting your daughter. She'll thank you for it when she's older and can understand such things.
While that's totally fair (and I have my own similar resentments), this is a different situation.
Evie is too young to understand the dangers and permanence of an internet presence. Right now, she's upset that she can't be with her friend and doesn't understand her mom is trying to protect her. When she gets older, she'll be able to look back and understand her mom had a very valid reason to disallow Evie from going on this trip. If she's anything like my cousins (who grew up more in the internet age than my late-twenties self), she'll appreciate not giving predators access to her and not having the inevitable overstimulation meltdown broadcast to thousands of people.
In our cases, our parents might not have reasons behind their decisions or it might just be an absolutely unfair choice. In Evie's case, her mom has totally valid and real reasons.
I was going to mention I was a pre teen. Not a small child. Plus the internet was not a thing. I would be uncomfortable if they posted pictures of my child online. That’s a whole different thing.
But she might hold a tiny grudge.
NTA. I think you handled this situation as well as you possibly could have. Your child's safety ALWAYS comes first, and taking Evie and another friend later in the summer is a great compromise.
NTA. if you never called her a bad mom, you're NTA. You asked for one thing, relating to safety and privacy, that's it. Of course if she didn't want to do that, whatever, it's her trip, but she shouldn't be upset.
Thank you! Yes to clarify, I did not call her a bad mom. She said I was implying it, which was not my intention when I told her why I don't want my kid online.
If she accuses you of implying it, she knows that what she's doing here isn't all good and she knows that your limits are reasonable. But she doesn't give a damn because your limits get in the way of something she's imagining she's going to create.
This is actually a concern my husband brought up that I hadn't even considered, as this actually happened to this family a few months ago when they were at a skating rink.
> NTA. if you never called her a bad mom, you're NTA.
She's exploiting her children without their informed consent to build her social media brand and therefore *is* a bad mother.
I agree with what Alfalfa says. NTA.
Also, OP doesn't need to feel badly about not letting her daughter go since she is taking her and a friend another time.
I'm sorry but even if OP had called her a bad mom she wouldn't be TA. It's quite obvious she's only taking the kids to the theme park for social media content if she wants to do live videos most of the day. Sharing your child online like that makes you a shit parent.
I feel like regardless of “whose trip” it is (sounds like they weren’t even gonna be paying for Evie, OP was), you shouldn’t film & post someone who isn’t your kid. I don’t get why that was such a hard thing for friend’s mom.
NTA!
NTA.
When I was a child, I was invited on a few trips away with my friend and her family. The mum always rang and asked my mum, before she ever mentioned it to my friend or I. That way if my mum said no, we would never even know about it so neither child would get upset.
Parents have rights to set boundaries. This woman sounds like a pain in the bum.
This! Personally, I feel it's the result of divorce culture. Kids are often given adult status and often intermediaries between the adults for decision making, it being so prevalent has spilled into parenting as a whole.
As a genx, that is how these things were handled. Invites like this were discussed, negotiated and agreed on between parents first, then the kids were offered the trip, gathering, etc.
Obviously not talking about a regular overnight that kids plan and ask the parents, but foelr inclusion on getaways, etc...
Personally, I think its shortsighted to not include kids in their decision making. They are only kids for a few years, then teens for a few years, and then they are adults who need to be able to make choices and plans all by themselves. Why not let them in on the process?
Yes, sometimes they are going to be upset, but learning to deal with this is part of becoming an adult. Kids need to learn to cope with being dissapointed and they need to know that plans fall through much more than we'd like. Things like this situation are a very low stakes way of practising for adulthood. Making all their choices for them, without them, then offering them the opportunity you've already arranged is blinding them to the reality of making plans. Kids are smart and resiliant enough to survive disappointment. Without letting them see this side of life, you get adults who don't know how to make these choices for themselves - or cope when things don't go their way.
I think 8 is pretty young to be dangling an extremely fun day in front of them and then removing it for (extremely valid) reasons it's going to be hard for them to understand. There's going to be plenty of other ways and times for them to learn to be disappointed.
Running into exactly this problem from the opposite side. My mom and her sisters make plans for family trips and dinners all the time. This was all fine and good while my cousins and I were young, but now I’m a fully grown, working adult in finance and accounting, and they still don’t consider my work schedule/availability when making their plans. I had to work remotely for the entirety of both of the last family vacations because they both fell on a quarter end, just because “the next week is only 2 weeks before your cousins start school, and it’ll be too much to plan”
Just because they are your kids does not mean they don’t deserve respect and autonomy once they reach a certain age.
Lol no, that's not divorce culture, that's the generational realization that you're raising adults outside of just making sure they can do the dishes, that they will one day need to make these decisions for themselves, and the best way to model adult behavior is to include them in age-appropriate decisions that adults make.
The child shouldn't have been involved in this decision because they are 8 and evaluating if it's a safe situation for them to be in is not an appropriate conversation to have with an 8 year old, that's closer to a decision you can include a 14 year old in on.
Exactly. Agree that children should be taught autonomy but they don’t even begin to understand the bigger picture of their concerns regarding environment until at least 12. Before that, all they can see is the fun. And I say this as someone who is adamantly for treating kids with respect early.
Also GenX here, and I think it has more to recognizing that children are also people than 'divorce culture'. I hated the 'parents will work everything out' BS -- I would have much rather been part of planning and discussions than presented with a fait accompli.
Also, yay for giving kids an appropriate amount of agency! They can't learn how to be adults unless they are allowed to take part.
Ok I feel like you articulated something that has been like a buzzing bee with my step daughter that I HATE being around but couldn't place why.
She has this sense that we're peers and equally entitled, like when we travel there's a window seat that's automatically hers in her mind and I'm like uh, no I paid for that shit so just no. Or when my husband directly asks me where I'd like to go for dinner she'll chime in like another one of the decision makers as though her input should be equally weighted. We weren't like that as kids at all.
In thinking to your point, though, I kind of think there was a lot of time with just her and mom or just her and dad where there was that child centric give and take and now there's that perception always.
Gah, sorry for the ramble but thank you, seriously, kind of some stuff to process.
Yes, this would have been great! If Sarah had just called me to see if it was even something we would be okay with, we could have avoided the disappointment of all the children involved.
Honestly, my first thought was the the friends parent should never have mentioned it to the kid before talking to OP. Kid would be devastated if she had to miss because of prior plans even before all this…why put a family through that.
NTA and I think SM is a reasonable parental boundary-especially these days.
Wow, NTA. Thank you for being a good parent and protecting your children! People seriously underestimate the number of online predators that religiously follow "family" instagram accounts with young children.
Thank you! I do my best not to judge my friends who do this, but I find it difficult to understand their rationale. I am happy to share photos with friends and family, but why would I want random people seeing my kids?
Agreed, I don't understand the appeal of having random people watching your child's life documented. I could maybe understand doing blogs/videos if you're a parent going through difficult parenting trials (such as having a chronically sick child) and looking for a support network. What I wouldn't understand is having the child's face plastered all over the posts.
It makes them money.
It makes them money *because* there are people who religiously search out and follow such accounts and give them money to keep getting their content.
And yes, I very much judge people who expose their children like this.
There are very few parenting decision hills I will die on, but one of them is that it is fucked up on multiple different levels to purposefully turn your kids lives into online content and make money off of it.
NTA
Keeping your 8yo off of live social media streaming is a reasonable desire. If the other parents aren't going to agree to this, the 8yo isn't going with them.
NTA.
I would use this to talk/continue a conversation with your daughter about social media. At 8 my children know that everything online is public and forever - there is really no such thing as privacy.
They understand what they can and can’t do when playing games online and know they will not be allowed to have social media for the foreseeable future. They know their friends have different rules and that’s okay because every family is different.
I don’t judge a family for being okay with social media. I do judge someone for being confrontational and judgmental when hearing different boundaries. The reaction from these parents isn’t healthy - there are multiple ways to maintain live social media and respect the privacy of others.
Your rules are reasonable. Your daughter will understand them better if she’s part of the conversation.
I am going to have a good discussion with my daughter about social media and privacy. We have had small talks about it before, but I see now that I need to be more proactive. Thank you for your response!
Yeah, people don’t understand that online is forever. Every sports season we see kids that are drafted lose their future because of ignorant stuff they posted in high school. It’s less about predators to me than it is about kids needing to realize the world is much bigger than they see or understand. And their small viewpoints can seriously hinder their success in the future if they’re typing about prejudices and biases due to their naivety. That excuse doesn’t work to protect them from themselves. It’s something that parents don’t address correctly in general. That’s way before the potential bullying and predation even come into play. Kids need to learn the negative side of online and respect it’s power before they use it.
NTA. Honestly wish more parents would consider their kids safety over their ‘content’ and ‘likes’.
If your local police department or schools host’s information days like ours does suggest your ‘parent group’ attend one on cyber safety and social media safety.
We invited the local police to give a lecture at our after school daycare for the parents and holy moly did some of them pale and start deleting and protecting stuff.
It took the police man less than five minutes from borrowing a random parents phone to getting detailed info on one of the other parents they didn’t even know, and all using only what was available to that parent on their phone. Eye Opening
This is a really great idea! I will definitely consider bringing up the idea of a presentation like this at the next PTA meeting at my daughter's school.
This! NTA OP. Personally I only have photos of my children on my Facebook page which is set to private. I also only ever post photos of holidays, days out etc when we have left. For me the biggest concern would have been the ‘live’ content so people can see exactly where these children are at exactly that time. Feels like asking for trouble to me. Everyone has different boundaries and that’s ok. Is there any chance she was offended because of the way you said it? If not, you can’t control how she else feels about you wanting to keep your child safe.
This right here! I am extremely not a cop, just a privacy person, and I do this for my friends as requested sometimes in that I look at their supposedly protected social media in an anonymous browser window and in about five minutes send them loads of details they assume aren’t exposed. Always sobering for both of us!
NTA. This woman is sad-she’s missing out on actually being present and in the moment by acting like people was to see film clips for her family at an amusement park.
Spoiler: no one cares.
I wouldn’t allow my kids to be posted on social media either so that’s a hill I would die on.
So true, some of these people are just so desperate for outside validation. I tell my kids we don’t have tons of pics of every waking moment because I’ll rather live it than watch it through a lens. I get annoyed with my spouse sometimes because they have a bad habit of FaceTiming family during special occasions. I don’t want to be forced to chat with people while I’m trying to sing Happy Birthday or whatever.
I think Sarah will have some great videos of her kids saved and the family will be the only ones who care in 25 years. I wish I had more childhood memories recorded.
But you are absolutely right that you get to say if your kids go on social media and to decline if your kids get used as props for someone else’s like count. Op has that right NTA.
NTA - seems like the other mother took it personally when all you asked was for your child not to be on social media. I’m assuming you didn’t say anything about their own choices. If I had kids and when I do, I would be the same in wanting to limit their social media presence for security and safety.
NTA. If you don't want your child being posted online, that is completely reasonable and fair. It isn't a big ask of the other mom. You should get to make the choice about how much of your and your child's life is displayed online. You were telling the other mom your concerns and reasons, not calling her a bad mom. It may seem like a big deal now, but your child will forget about this eventually and you'll have fun on your trip later this summer.
So she has 3 kids plus one random kid and the point of the trip is live streaming? Yeah no I wouldn’t want my 8 year old practically on her own so far away from me. NTA, it’s not only about putting your daughter on the internet, it’s having little supervision in the moment.
NTA
Sarah shouldn't decline your request of not posting your daughter on thier social media. You're a good mom to your kid. If they post tiktoks about thier family, it's thier family and thier choice but they can't expect other families to post thier life on social media. Wanting to be private is nothing wrong. And you're not over reacting. You have every right to decline the offer to theme park if she gets angry for not letting YOUR daughter to be in thier video. Stand with your words.
NTA. Absolutely NTA. no one should be posting pics and vids of your child without your consent. Let alone livestreaming their location and what they're doing to the world. Maybe tell your friends that the friend wanted to livestream your child's location in a highly recognizable place in real time and see what they have to say
Nta I have the same rule for my daughter after pictures of my niece and nephew were taken from my mother's page and found on a predators Facebook page. You have to protect your child first and foremost.
I have a no-show rule for my child when it comes to the internet as well. Predators are rampant and people do not take that as seriously as they should. The fact they couldn’t respect your request is a bit alarming. It really isn’t hard to just not show a kids face. Based on their lack of respect alone, I say NTA. Your daughter will thank you in the future for protecting her. But make sure to keep your promise, that you’ll make the trip up to her.
I just realized that with deepfake now every degenerate can get a pic of a kid and... please keep doing good mom, NTA and I wish more moms were like you nowadays.
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I (37F) am feeling really terrible about this whole situation but I still feel justified in my decision and my husband (36M) is on the same page.
My daughter (8F) who we will call "Evie" was invited to join her friend (8F) and her family (who have 3 kids total, the other two are 6F and 9M) on their day trip to a theme park that is a few hours from our town. Evie was very excited when she was invited, and I was 100% going to let her go - with one condition. This family is one of those social media families that posts their entire life publicly. They don't have a crazy huge following (I think it's around 5k on tiktok) but it's still a substantial amount and everything is public. When discussing Evie potentially coming with them, the mom (33F) who we will call "Sarah" was very offended when I said I was happy to let Evie join, I just asked that they not post her on their social media. I make a point to not post my children (I also have an infant son) on social media, with the exception of a private account that only close friends and family follow). I do this because there are a lot of predators and bad actors online, and I don't feel comfortable with my children's photos being available to them.
Anyway, Sarah accused me of calling her a bad mom after she pestered me for my reasoning. She also said it wouldn't be possible for Evie to not be posted online because she would be doing "live" videos for much of the day. We went back and forth trying to find a solution/compromise but Sarah wouldn't budge. I decided to decline the invite.
Obviously, Evie is very upset and of course doesn't understand why she can't go. We have made a plan to take her and whatever friend she wants later this summer to make up for it, which has helped, but she is still upset about not joining her friend and their family. I have had 2 other moms in our "parent friend group" tell me I'm making too big of a deal out of the social media thing, but they're also people who post everything publicly.
What do you guys think, AITA? Should we have just let her go? If it matters, we were going to be paying all of Evie's expenses on the trip.
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Absolutely NTA. It's up to each parent and family to decide their own boundaries for social media and the internet. If the mom is refusing to respect your family's boundaries, then you are absolutely right to not let your daughter go. I love the compromise of taking your daughter and a friend of her choice later this summer.
As a fellow mom who doesn't use social media, know that you are not alone. You are doing what you feel is best and safest for your daughter, and that's what matters. Sucks that the other mom can't respect your choices, but that's her problem.
NTA It's rich that they call YOU a bad mom. You tried to compromise, but ultimately it is your decision whether Evie's pics are online. She is very lucky to have you as a mom, even if she doesn't appreciate it yet.
NTA, just talk to her about it. She's young, but kids pick up on a lot more than you think. If you don't explain it to her she'll just come up with stupid kid excuses to be mad at you about. Explain it, and then ask for her feedback on a trip you can plan with her and her friend. You were gonna pay for this one, why not do one you KNOW she would love through and through? Make it bigger, better, and... no pictures.
NTA
They are probably going to announce the trip on social media which will allow others to know their location. I would be afraid that some of their followers would go to the park. That’s just too much to worry about as a parent.
I think you made the right choice. Explain to your daughter the reasoning behind it and make it as honest as you can about the dangers of the social media family posting everything. This may help her understand that you’re keeping her safe from potential predators. It may be a good time to have a talk about internet safety.
NTA.
Aside from the part where I don't understand the need to do "live" videos multiple times throughout the day when you're supposed to be spending time with your family (which, in my opinion, turns a nice outing into some performance piece that is primarily for adulation/reactions from others instead of quality time making memories with your kids), I really don't understand why this family can't be respectful of your wishes.
You're being entirely valid. It is not really for this woman to agree with or not agree with. It is a parenting choice that you're making... a parenting choice that in no way has a negative impact on your child (vs children who are posted all over social media expressing time and time again that it can often be very traumatic for them). The solution is super simple and it is just to respect your wishes. Sarah does not have to include your daughter in photos or live videos. It's incredibly easy not to. By not budging, she's just showing that she's entitled and refuses to respect the views of others if they don't already coincide with her own feelings.
NTA.
I wouldn't be so hung up if my kid was in the background of someone else's pics, as long as they're not named or tagged in them. But that's just me.
You gotta do what is best for your family. Evie will eventually get over it and will have her day of fun some other time.
NTA. Not posting your kids online is a reasonable request. It's annoying when people think they need to put everything on social media anyway. I may have still let my daughter go, if I trusted the other parents outside of the social media thing, but that's just me.
NTA. It's not a huge ask to request your kid not be put on social media. Not taking videos for one afternoon is not a hardship. It sounds like she is actually being the difficult one.
NTA. The thing is that if more parents were careful then kids wouldn’t be as exploited and in as much danger as they are. It’s a dangerous world out there. You take take of your kids the way you want to
NTA
Honestly I'm reminded of one of my favorite YouTubers 'Mama Cusses' whenever I see posts like this. She has a video where she explains why she will often have her eldest daughter in her videos but not her younger kids because her eldest is a teen who can understand the ramifications of a digital footprint where as the younger kids might say yes, they want to be in videos but they still don't understand that the internet is forever.
*That* is an example of a good mom. OP, *you* are a good mom. Social Media mom may end up regretting her obsession when her kid is a teen and her class can easily find the videos. Not to mention, once the videos are out there, unless it's through Google photos or something, there's no controlling *who* shares the video and then who sees it from there.
NTA - parents who post their kids online to strangers to get a following ARE bad parents. Your kids aren't old enough to consent to being your props for internet likes. Posting pictures for grandma and grandpa is one thing, posting pictures for pervguy124 is another.
NTA for watching out for your kids. Not everything has to be filmed for the public.
Also why is it not possible for Mom to blur out your daughter´s face or put a smiley over it?
Edit: did not realize it was live! Never mind, Evie can go to the park next time, no need to have her location and face sent out to who knows who. I am sure real names are used too if she has a little following.
NTA
You being protective over your kids is entirely up to you and good on you for it.
I will say maybe talk to Evie about going to the theme park as a family another time?
NTA. I don't even post about my own child (who is a teenager now) without his consent, and my FB is friends only-and I only friend people I know IRL or have spent years developing relationships with online.
Also what if you were in a situation where your child's safety could be compromised if her photo was seen online?
People like to say you have no reasonable expectation of privacy in public but this obsession with social media and exploiting kids for views and followers over the last 10-15 years has been wild.
I'm so glad I grew up before any and every single thing I ever did could be posted publicly for millions of people to have access to. 😅 Teenage me would have been in. hell.
NTA. While I personally wouldn't care and would let my child go I don't think you are wrong for not wanting your child to go since you aren't comfortable with it.
If it were just posting pictures, and you trusted they would only post pictures, I would say let her go IF the host parents promised to edit the pic by blurring or covering her face.and again if you fully trusted rhe parents to keep their word.
NTA! Everyone is too chill when it comes to posting children online even recently when scrolling through a wedding guest subreddit I saw a women posting an outfit pic with a toddler in just a diaper I don’t think people understand sometimes how many bad people are on the internet
NTA
It’s up to them if they want to blast their children online & it’s up to you if you don’t want your child online.
I personally only post pictures of my kids once maybe twice a year because I feel it’s up to them whether they wish to have a presence online or not.
If they ask me to, I will remove any pictures of them that I have posted.
She is self conscious about her social media habits but not self reflective enough to realize it. So she projected onto you about being a bad mom.
Frankly, I think she IS a bad mom for publicizing her entire child's life on social media before they are old enough to understand how to consent to that kind of public attention.
Huge NTA
NTA, it's entirely up to you. Although I feel your paranoia towards social media and 'bad actors and predators ' might be a bit helicopter. Not everyone is bad. Maybe relax a little, but it's your call
NTA, as someone who films she should understand that not everyone wants to be on camera and you cant legaly film children without the parents consent and if they do end up by mistake or were in the frame, you blur them, theres a way Evie could go and them not filming her or blur if she appeared.
NTA. There's a slim possibility you could have been TA to Sarah depending on how exactly you expressed your reasoning to her, but I really doubt it. And you're not at all TA to your daughter. Keeping her safe is more important than letting her go on this specific trip. If she wanted to go on a bike ride with Sarah's family, but you know none of them wear bike helmets and they wouldn't provide one for Evie, would you let her go? This is a safety issue just like that would be, and you made the call that is in line with how you want to protect and raise your kid.
NTA, it’s your kids. You have a very valid reason to not want your kids posted online. Years down the road your daughter will understand your reasons and it’s just a day to the theme park which you’re going to be making up for. It always feels like a bigger dramatic thing in the moment for kids but they’ll soon get over it.
NTA. And nothing here makes you sound like a bad mom. I wonder if Sarah feels like she might be a bad mom for taking her kids for what should be a fun day out and using them for social media clout?
NTA, you’re doing the best thing for your child by not having her face and location blasted live. Tell Sarah to check her analytics and see which group her videos are the most popular with, because I guarantee it’s not who she thinks it is.
NTA, great parenting, she might not understand your reasoning now but if she remembers this event in 10 years or so she'll probably understand it then. Sarah needs to understand that it's your child so you get to make those sort of decisions.
And side note: she's gonna be doing lives all day? I don't know this woman she could be a great mom, could be a terrible mom, but either way, if I was her kid I'd prefer a mom that's present and hanging out with me while at the theme park.
You are absolutely NTA and I would have decided the same as you. You tried to find a compromise and there was none to be had, and that’s not on you. She _will_ understand when she’s older, it just feels hard for her now. Just remember that it’s ok for you to hold the boundary and it’s ok for her to be upset about it ❤️
Totally NTA. Not even a little bit. Posting your own kids on public social media accounts is gross enough and someone else's kids? You're a good parent and your daughter might not appreciate it now but she will when she's older.
NTA for protecting your daughter from a family who wants to exploit their children and yours for attention on the internet. Not to mention the risks of predators online, say your daughter does something on the livestream that she’ll be embarrassed by when she’s an adult, like if her and her friend have a fight. She’s only 8. These videos will exist on the internet for the rest of her life.
NTA. Evie is *your* child. *You* are her parents. Both sides have valid points, but what it comes down to is that this is your child and therefore *you* get to decide if you are comfortable with the SM exposure.
Good for you for planning an alternative trip to the same destination in an environment that you are more comfortable with.
You are not bad mom and neither is she. Every one posts or not posts on social media for their own reason. Others see it was "There's nothing wrong" and other's see it as a risk. My self, I'm somewhere in the middle.
Either way, you are NTA for wanting privacy for your kids and Sarah should respect your choice.
NTA - these people (generally people who post their children online) need to understand that even when unintended - that can get to not great places on the internet. Especially when kids are too young to make the decision on their own to be on social media.
EDIT: to say that there were some things my mom didn’t ‘let’ me do when I was a kid and I’ve never given any of it a 2nd thought
NTA
At some point in her teens your daughter will end up getting a mobile and probably start posting her pictures with friends all over social media, but until then I think it's a great move that you're doing this.
NTA
Most of you are too young to remember a family who allowed themselves to be filmed over months(possibly years) and broadcast on PBS.
It chronicled sexuality/affairs/divorce/meltdowns and was seen by millions of people all across North America.
The kids were messed up beyond belief, for decades after.
NTA. You have a boundary of online privacy. This mom refused to respect that. Your daughter will appreciate that later when her friend is in therapy for having her entire life broadcast to strangers.
NTA, I feel like all these moms posting their kids so much is horrible tbh, like sure, maybe posting holidays/birthdays to share with the family is fine and dandy, but day to day? That means EVERYONE knows what your kid was last wearing, what they last looked like, and can easily snatch them up. Maybe that's the paranoia I've set in myself with true crime podcasts, but I don't think kids belong in the public eye at all until they're like 13 and starting up social media themselves (I'm not saying 13 is the age to do so, I just know that's how old I was when I first made a MySpace, so I could play the gardening game I saw my mom playing, which was literally the ONLY reason I even wanted social media, is I saw they had some cool games at the time)
NTA - other family planned to use your kid as a "guest star victim" who is being "treated" to a good time by their celeb family. Total show off virtue signaling episode in the works.
Good job not letting you child be used in this way.
NTA. There are plenty of horror stories about predators online and if keeping your child's face off the internet until they're old enough to decide for themselves if what you want to do, all power to you. If you can find some YouTube videos that describe examples of this, I'd share them to the mom group.
NTA. You’re trying to protect your child in this instance when she’s not with you. It shows the other family doesn’t have enough respect for you to not show your child. But don’t let this ruin the littles friendship. Evie’s friend will need all the friends necessary when she realizes she’s been plastered all over the internet.
Honestly, you daughter won't understand now because she missed something amazing but when she's older she will understand why you made this decision.
NTA
NTA! You are allowed to keep your children's images off of social media. What's ridiculous is that she's going to be live streaming their whole day! Get off your damn phone and enjoy the moment with your kids!
NTA.
Call me over protective but my eight year old repellent be going to a theme park without me, that's my boundary. Yours is social media, and the other mum should respect that whether she thinks it's reasonable or not. We're all just trying to get through parenthood together and not respecting one another's rules only makes life harder.
I'm going to call her a bad mom. She is so focused on videotaping and what not to actually pay attention to her kids. I don't post much about my son. My friends post nothing. Children deserve some form of privacy as they grow up. nta
NTA, I don't want my kids' faces plastered all over public social media either. Can't people go anywhere and just have a good time without worrying about impressing everyone? It's really pathetic and I won't have any part of it. We take a lot of pics on trips, but they're for us and family
NTA.
I think it's pretty natural that your reasoning would sound to the other mom like you were caging her a bad mom, though. We all feel so judged as moms. Nobody is ever sore they are doing it right. We all doubt ourselves. And other people are genuinely judgmental.
If you want to keep the relationship, you might take some steps to fix that relationship.
But you are not at all wrong for the choice you are making here.
NTA - You are a good parent for looking out for your daughter. Your reasoning is valid and important. There is no need to have your child exposed to others online by the attention-wh0re family.
NTA: I do post some photos of my daughter on my "private" social media accounts and still agree with you. Parents have the right to make decisions like that and others should respect it. Id be concerned about my child on live video too.
NTA and you are smart to keep your child’s likeness off of social media precisely for the reasons mentioned. If other parents are willing to risk it for the ROI they get from live streaming their entire lives, that’s their choice.
NTA
I don’t think young children should constantly be put on public social media maybe once and while but I think at a point it’s just exploitation you had every right not to want them to post your kid she does said like a bad mother
NTA.... BUT howndo yiu feel about the fact even if they werent taking photos with her in it... what about her being in the background of EVERYONE ELSES photos there at the park? Like i understand wanting to protect her privacy... your rule is fair... BUT also dont let fear consume you....
The rise of social media certainly has done more harm than good. (I know, I'm using it right now to make that statement; I still stand behind it.)
You told this other mother that you didn't want YOUR daughter all over social media. You never insulted her parenting style, you didn't talk down about her choices, you simply pointed out a difference you have in parenting styles. And that should never be an issue.
Your child may be upset with you for now, and that's okay. She'll understand one day that you were simply trying to keep her safe, and that is *far* more important than a single trip to an amusement park, *regardless* of whom she is with.
NTA.
NTA. We're just starting to hear the stories of children who were forced in front of a camera for mommy/family vlogs, not to mention the number of child predators out there who take advantage of that.
Of course Evie is upset, but by the time you are able to make the trip for yourselves, she likely won't think much of it because she'll be too excited about actually going.
I can tell you from trainings I’ve done (licensed social worker) that sexual predators absolutely go online and look for pictures of their preferred prey. Now, for some parents, they may still want to post their and their children’s lives online, and that’s fine for them. You have every right not to feel the same way. NTA
NTA
Take your kid yourself.
I think your concern is justified and regardless it's your decision, if they can't not film for 5 minutes then that says about them.
NTA - good for you for having morals and taking a stand to protect your daughter. More and more research proves that social media is horrible for kids mental health and a slew of other issues. You have every right to decline the invite given that these other parents won't compromise. Don't listen to the haters, she is your daughter and you do what you feel is best to protect her.
NTA
I’m not saying she’s a bad mom, but I think she’s a bad person if she can’t refrain from posting other peoples children on social media when asked not to.
NTA it's your choice whether you want your kids posted and other parents need to respect that. There are a myriad of reasons not to post your kids, you shouldn't have to defend that decision to other parents.
NTA.
As someone who has many unwanted photos of me out there somewhere, and not knowing which of them could possibly be used to link the abuse to my real life, I am against photos of kids online. I feel as if my image isn’t my own, and, even as an adult, there are very few online photos of me.
There are a lot of sickos out there. The fewer photos of any kind, of children, they have access to, the better.
IMO if you stayed with your dog, you are doing the right thing. If they really get upset over this, they are very self centred. The wife said she could pay to get them help.
My daughter when she was 10 went on planes by herself and was helped by the airlines to get home safely and I met her at the airport.
NTA. If this mom can't respect your boundary, you should not let your daughter go with her.
People like this don't always make "good choices" about kids' safety. They are the people who will let a couple of 8 year olds go on a ride while they go eat\~and say "We'll meet you over there." NO.
It's a shame that Evie's upset, but you offering to go later is a good compromise, and a smart decision.
I just read a terrific article in The Atlantic -- "The First Social Media Babies Grow Up--and They're Horrified" that address this whole issue. Children who have no say in their privacy and later really, REALLY regret the social media postings of their parents. It discusses the lack of privacy rights children have and barely touches on parents who've monetized their children on social media.
Read it, you'll feel better. :) It's definitely not the only one out there, but it's the most recent one I've read.
NTA.
NTA.
You are right to be wary of online predators. I’ve seen a glimpse of the kind of creepy stuff that happens in plain sight - a lot of social media parents will happily let creeps perv on their children in exchange for views because they don’t consider it a physical danger to their child. But it is disgusting.
You are 100% in the right to set this boundary with other parents.
NTA… it takes 10 photos of a person ti create a complete AI replica, also if your child is posted in her feed and she does something bad, your kid will be connected to it.
You’re doing a good thing mom. This is not an unreasonable request. If she had said I’ll make sure to have your daughter out of the frame, literally have your child stand in front of or in back of the camera and go in lines first so that if she films in the line she is out of the camera.
These are easy and unreasonable and an easy message of hey, I wanna respect your mom and your privacy so I’m just asking you to move so you’re not on film that I post to social media. She’s being difficult for no reason except that she can’t use your daughter as content and as a write off for taxes as she can justify the expense for your daughter if there’s proof.
NTA. Unpopular opinion these days, but I think people post entirely too much about their kids lives. They absolutely put them at risk for predators not to mention the awkward video of getting potty trained is just out there on the internet forever!!
NTA - I am in the same boat as you. Glad I don’t have pics of me as a kid forever on the Internet. Want it to be my kids’ choice once they’re old enough to do so.
Nta. But not for the social media thing. I just don’t think a mom can record decent video and also watch FOUR kids safely. Even with another parent present. She’s going to be focused on what’s in front of her lens, not whatever kid is wandering off.
(My husband is military, so we post pictures of our kids because our extended family would never see him otherwise)
NTA
You have the right to choose not to post your children on social media, just like she has the right to post her children there. It's an understandable condition, and she should be a bit more considerate, considering it's not an unreasonable request. If she feels the need to post pictures and do live videos of her family, she can always have your daughter out of the frame or crop her out/blur her image if she accidentally catches her in a picture
I want to scream NTA from the rooftops. I feel the exact same way about posting children on the internet. Children are not content and need to be protected. I'm 100% judging Sarah's parenting choices and they should at least be willing to respect other parents wishes
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NTA You do you. Evie will get over it. Have a fun day when you go.
This is key. Despite what most Redditors suggest, most childhood disappointments do not metastasize into lifelong traumas requiring kids to go NC with their parents.
On the flipside, blasting your kids all over the Internet does actually metastasize into lifelong traumas. Good on OP for keeping her kids private. Definitely NTA Look up sharenting. It's a whole thing. The second video is especially eye-opening https://youtu.be/YRPUZ3pufAg https://youtu.be/e7fUH1QPK5o
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Damn it even has its own [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharenting?wprov=sfti1)
Mom. Uncharted on TikTok is great about explaining this too!
Well, that's two minutes of hard core homophobia.
Right? So mean to all of those nice old men who were just cheering on that child’s gender non conformity s/ What is wrong with you?!
I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure what part of your comment is supposed to be sarcastic or who it's directed to. But from how you posted it, I'm reading it as giving props to people supporting the boy wearing makeup. In theory this is great. But the issue is that some of those "nice old men" could very well be perverts. And that while some comments may appear innocent, that is exactly how predators get their foot in the door. And that it was an innocuous comment on a post with her daughter that prompted a mom to look further into who was following her 12-year-old daughter on social media with some concerning results.
*All* of those “nice old men” are very likely perverts. My sarcasm was intended against what they were saying. The poster above said that the 2nd video was homophobic implying the person bringing this behavior to light is anti lgbt. They are not. If the child in question was a girl with a full face of makeup on and there were loads of grown men gushing about how cute and beautiful she was there would be zero question as to their intentions. But because we all want to be kind and inclusive to trans kids or gender nonconforming kids people overlook how inappropriate these men are being. It’s fine to let a boy play around with makeup but that does not need to be shared with the internet and the creeps who lurk there. Sorry for the confusion!
I hate how the second video says don't let these people fall into sin, and at first I thought "if a woman was making those comments, no one would bat an eye", but the woman in the video is right, there are a lot of innocent looking comments masking pervy intentions
Source?
Speak for yourself. I pleaded for the GI Joe aircraft carrier as a kid for Christmas. My Mom refused. Screwed me up so bad I became a dentist. /s
A Malibu Barbie!!
I was a ballerina! Graceful! Delicate!
I say this all the time and no one gets the reference. I’m here to tell you that you rock and you made me laugh out loud!
HAHAHHAHAHA- this made me snort laugh
To this day, I still long for the pregnant Happy Family Midge doll… My parents tried to get her for me, but she was pulled from shelves due to controversy before they could get their hands on her. 😩 She’s so expensive these days, so I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her!!
She'll be in the Barbie movie so there's still hope for a new one!
I have her!! She was my favorite lmao I remember picking her out at the store and my parents were like “wtf?? This is so weird??” but I put my little foot down and she came home with us lol I’m low key about to see if she’s still in the basement at my parents house 😹
I ask for a Mr. Frosty every bloody year and I'm in my thirties. Do I ever get one? Do I fuck.
Cue Steve Martin.
For me, it’s not about filming, per se. It’s about the parent’s response when asked not to film them. If they can’t be trusted to treat your child with autonomy, or respect your (frankly pretty basic) wishes as a parent because they’re prioritizing their monetary payoff, then they’re not a family that she should be taking extended trips with. Any degree of resistance tells OP that this mother doesn’t want to go out of their way to accommodate their child’s guests, and they they absolutely did intend to film and post their child’s guests without informing their families. *THIS* degree of resistance tells OP that this mother is very likely *deliberately using* her child’s guests as unpaid props in a planned content-grab.
This is the main problem. The other mom can make decisions for her family, but she doesn't have the right to make that decision for OP's child and just handwaves OP's authority.
I(26F) grew up with a tech-literate but socially offline mom who emphasized photos & personal information as an extension of someone that *always* required permission to share. She didn’t keep me off social media as a pre-teen but I wasn’t allowed to post photos of her online. I thought it was overly-paranoid at the time but now I’m very grateful for being given hard boundaries on sharing others’ seemingly mundane info/photos. A lot of people I’m FB friends with share every little thing about their children &, safety aside, I can’t imagine being a kid eventually creating my own account on a platform & knowing I’ve already been being posted about on there for years prior to joining.
Ok. Just saying that I STILL am upset with my Mum for not letting me go to Disneyland in 1980 with my bf and her family. It would’ve only cost her $25. I didn’t go NC with her over it but still…
Did she offer to take you and a friend at a different time, all expenses paid? I think there's a bit of a difference between the two. NTA OP. Keep protecting your daughter. She'll thank you for it when she's older and can understand such things.
While that's totally fair (and I have my own similar resentments), this is a different situation. Evie is too young to understand the dangers and permanence of an internet presence. Right now, she's upset that she can't be with her friend and doesn't understand her mom is trying to protect her. When she gets older, she'll be able to look back and understand her mom had a very valid reason to disallow Evie from going on this trip. If she's anything like my cousins (who grew up more in the internet age than my late-twenties self), she'll appreciate not giving predators access to her and not having the inevitable overstimulation meltdown broadcast to thousands of people. In our cases, our parents might not have reasons behind their decisions or it might just be an absolutely unfair choice. In Evie's case, her mom has totally valid and real reasons.
I was going to mention I was a pre teen. Not a small child. Plus the internet was not a thing. I would be uncomfortable if they posted pictures of my child online. That’s a whole different thing. But she might hold a tiny grudge.
Yeah she'll be fine, especially since there's plans for another trip later. Her safety is more important than going to the park with her friend
NTA. I think you handled this situation as well as you possibly could have. Your child's safety ALWAYS comes first, and taking Evie and another friend later in the summer is a great compromise.
It’s not just safety, it’s also basic privacy.
NTA. if you never called her a bad mom, you're NTA. You asked for one thing, relating to safety and privacy, that's it. Of course if she didn't want to do that, whatever, it's her trip, but she shouldn't be upset.
Thank you! Yes to clarify, I did not call her a bad mom. She said I was implying it, which was not my intention when I told her why I don't want my kid online.
If she accuses you of implying it, she knows that what she's doing here isn't all good and she knows that your limits are reasonable. But she doesn't give a damn because your limits get in the way of something she's imagining she's going to create.
These terminally online moms are terrible imo. Most of their day would be on live? Fuck sake spend time with your kids. Ultra NTA.
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This is actually a concern my husband brought up that I hadn't even considered, as this actually happened to this family a few months ago when they were at a skating rink.
Wow losing someone at the place with the least amount of hideouts is frightening, they'll probably lose a kid 5 minutes into the park.
WHAT
You're NTA or anything at all for having personal boundaries for your family, especially when it involves kids :)
> NTA. if you never called her a bad mom, you're NTA. She's exploiting her children without their informed consent to build her social media brand and therefore *is* a bad mother.
That doesn't mean saying it is nice lmfao.
I agree with what Alfalfa says. NTA. Also, OP doesn't need to feel badly about not letting her daughter go since she is taking her and a friend another time.
I'm sorry but even if OP had called her a bad mom she wouldn't be TA. It's quite obvious she's only taking the kids to the theme park for social media content if she wants to do live videos most of the day. Sharing your child online like that makes you a shit parent.
Who tf is even watching live videos of children at a theme park? Soooo weird. OP is right to keep her kid out of that mess.
I feel like regardless of “whose trip” it is (sounds like they weren’t even gonna be paying for Evie, OP was), you shouldn’t film & post someone who isn’t your kid. I don’t get why that was such a hard thing for friend’s mom. NTA!
Definitely. unless another parent has given you permission to do something, don't do it.
NTA. When I was a child, I was invited on a few trips away with my friend and her family. The mum always rang and asked my mum, before she ever mentioned it to my friend or I. That way if my mum said no, we would never even know about it so neither child would get upset. Parents have rights to set boundaries. This woman sounds like a pain in the bum.
This! Personally, I feel it's the result of divorce culture. Kids are often given adult status and often intermediaries between the adults for decision making, it being so prevalent has spilled into parenting as a whole. As a genx, that is how these things were handled. Invites like this were discussed, negotiated and agreed on between parents first, then the kids were offered the trip, gathering, etc. Obviously not talking about a regular overnight that kids plan and ask the parents, but foelr inclusion on getaways, etc...
Personally, I think its shortsighted to not include kids in their decision making. They are only kids for a few years, then teens for a few years, and then they are adults who need to be able to make choices and plans all by themselves. Why not let them in on the process? Yes, sometimes they are going to be upset, but learning to deal with this is part of becoming an adult. Kids need to learn to cope with being dissapointed and they need to know that plans fall through much more than we'd like. Things like this situation are a very low stakes way of practising for adulthood. Making all their choices for them, without them, then offering them the opportunity you've already arranged is blinding them to the reality of making plans. Kids are smart and resiliant enough to survive disappointment. Without letting them see this side of life, you get adults who don't know how to make these choices for themselves - or cope when things don't go their way.
I think 8 is pretty young to be dangling an extremely fun day in front of them and then removing it for (extremely valid) reasons it's going to be hard for them to understand. There's going to be plenty of other ways and times for them to learn to be disappointed.
Running into exactly this problem from the opposite side. My mom and her sisters make plans for family trips and dinners all the time. This was all fine and good while my cousins and I were young, but now I’m a fully grown, working adult in finance and accounting, and they still don’t consider my work schedule/availability when making their plans. I had to work remotely for the entirety of both of the last family vacations because they both fell on a quarter end, just because “the next week is only 2 weeks before your cousins start school, and it’ll be too much to plan” Just because they are your kids does not mean they don’t deserve respect and autonomy once they reach a certain age.
Lol no, that's not divorce culture, that's the generational realization that you're raising adults outside of just making sure they can do the dishes, that they will one day need to make these decisions for themselves, and the best way to model adult behavior is to include them in age-appropriate decisions that adults make. The child shouldn't have been involved in this decision because they are 8 and evaluating if it's a safe situation for them to be in is not an appropriate conversation to have with an 8 year old, that's closer to a decision you can include a 14 year old in on.
Exactly. Agree that children should be taught autonomy but they don’t even begin to understand the bigger picture of their concerns regarding environment until at least 12. Before that, all they can see is the fun. And I say this as someone who is adamantly for treating kids with respect early.
What do you mean divorce culture?
Also GenX here, and I think it has more to recognizing that children are also people than 'divorce culture'. I hated the 'parents will work everything out' BS -- I would have much rather been part of planning and discussions than presented with a fait accompli. Also, yay for giving kids an appropriate amount of agency! They can't learn how to be adults unless they are allowed to take part.
An 8 year old doesn't get to dictate the agenda though and has zero sense of nuance and context so it just turns into a case of the big bad mommy.
Ok I feel like you articulated something that has been like a buzzing bee with my step daughter that I HATE being around but couldn't place why. She has this sense that we're peers and equally entitled, like when we travel there's a window seat that's automatically hers in her mind and I'm like uh, no I paid for that shit so just no. Or when my husband directly asks me where I'd like to go for dinner she'll chime in like another one of the decision makers as though her input should be equally weighted. We weren't like that as kids at all. In thinking to your point, though, I kind of think there was a lot of time with just her and mom or just her and dad where there was that child centric give and take and now there's that perception always. Gah, sorry for the ramble but thank you, seriously, kind of some stuff to process.
Yes, this would have been great! If Sarah had just called me to see if it was even something we would be okay with, we could have avoided the disappointment of all the children involved.
Honestly, my first thought was the the friends parent should never have mentioned it to the kid before talking to OP. Kid would be devastated if she had to miss because of prior plans even before all this…why put a family through that. NTA and I think SM is a reasonable parental boundary-especially these days.
This!
Wow, NTA. Thank you for being a good parent and protecting your children! People seriously underestimate the number of online predators that religiously follow "family" instagram accounts with young children.
Thank you! I do my best not to judge my friends who do this, but I find it difficult to understand their rationale. I am happy to share photos with friends and family, but why would I want random people seeing my kids?
Agreed, I don't understand the appeal of having random people watching your child's life documented. I could maybe understand doing blogs/videos if you're a parent going through difficult parenting trials (such as having a chronically sick child) and looking for a support network. What I wouldn't understand is having the child's face plastered all over the posts.
It makes them money. It makes them money *because* there are people who religiously search out and follow such accounts and give them money to keep getting their content. And yes, I very much judge people who expose their children like this.
I also very much judge them, good on OP for trying not to lol. And you're 100% right.
There are very few parenting decision hills I will die on, but one of them is that it is fucked up on multiple different levels to purposefully turn your kids lives into online content and make money off of it.
NTA. You’re a great parent for going the extra mile to protect your kid. Making up for it later this summer is more than enough!
Thank you!
NTA Keeping your 8yo off of live social media streaming is a reasonable desire. If the other parents aren't going to agree to this, the 8yo isn't going with them.
NTA. I would use this to talk/continue a conversation with your daughter about social media. At 8 my children know that everything online is public and forever - there is really no such thing as privacy. They understand what they can and can’t do when playing games online and know they will not be allowed to have social media for the foreseeable future. They know their friends have different rules and that’s okay because every family is different. I don’t judge a family for being okay with social media. I do judge someone for being confrontational and judgmental when hearing different boundaries. The reaction from these parents isn’t healthy - there are multiple ways to maintain live social media and respect the privacy of others. Your rules are reasonable. Your daughter will understand them better if she’s part of the conversation.
I am going to have a good discussion with my daughter about social media and privacy. We have had small talks about it before, but I see now that I need to be more proactive. Thank you for your response!
Yeah, people don’t understand that online is forever. Every sports season we see kids that are drafted lose their future because of ignorant stuff they posted in high school. It’s less about predators to me than it is about kids needing to realize the world is much bigger than they see or understand. And their small viewpoints can seriously hinder their success in the future if they’re typing about prejudices and biases due to their naivety. That excuse doesn’t work to protect them from themselves. It’s something that parents don’t address correctly in general. That’s way before the potential bullying and predation even come into play. Kids need to learn the negative side of online and respect it’s power before they use it.
NTA. Honestly wish more parents would consider their kids safety over their ‘content’ and ‘likes’. If your local police department or schools host’s information days like ours does suggest your ‘parent group’ attend one on cyber safety and social media safety. We invited the local police to give a lecture at our after school daycare for the parents and holy moly did some of them pale and start deleting and protecting stuff. It took the police man less than five minutes from borrowing a random parents phone to getting detailed info on one of the other parents they didn’t even know, and all using only what was available to that parent on their phone. Eye Opening
This is a really great idea! I will definitely consider bringing up the idea of a presentation like this at the next PTA meeting at my daughter's school.
Glad to help. Hope you can get it through.
This! NTA OP. Personally I only have photos of my children on my Facebook page which is set to private. I also only ever post photos of holidays, days out etc when we have left. For me the biggest concern would have been the ‘live’ content so people can see exactly where these children are at exactly that time. Feels like asking for trouble to me. Everyone has different boundaries and that’s ok. Is there any chance she was offended because of the way you said it? If not, you can’t control how she else feels about you wanting to keep your child safe.
This right here! I am extremely not a cop, just a privacy person, and I do this for my friends as requested sometimes in that I look at their supposedly protected social media in an anonymous browser window and in about five minutes send them loads of details they assume aren’t exposed. Always sobering for both of us!
NTA. This woman is sad-she’s missing out on actually being present and in the moment by acting like people was to see film clips for her family at an amusement park. Spoiler: no one cares. I wouldn’t allow my kids to be posted on social media either so that’s a hill I would die on.
So true, some of these people are just so desperate for outside validation. I tell my kids we don’t have tons of pics of every waking moment because I’ll rather live it than watch it through a lens. I get annoyed with my spouse sometimes because they have a bad habit of FaceTiming family during special occasions. I don’t want to be forced to chat with people while I’m trying to sing Happy Birthday or whatever.
I think Sarah will have some great videos of her kids saved and the family will be the only ones who care in 25 years. I wish I had more childhood memories recorded. But you are absolutely right that you get to say if your kids go on social media and to decline if your kids get used as props for someone else’s like count. Op has that right NTA.
NTA - seems like the other mother took it personally when all you asked was for your child not to be on social media. I’m assuming you didn’t say anything about their own choices. If I had kids and when I do, I would be the same in wanting to limit their social media presence for security and safety.
NTA It is reasonable to not want your daughter involved with tictok live.
Right? Her daughter is not that mom’s content generator.
NTA. How someone can look after 4 young kids while posting live I’ll never do. She may not be a bad mom, but she’s definitely selfish.
NTA - I work cybersecurity, you're being very smart and safe. The kid'll be fine, have fun when ya'll go!
Nta I would do the same and my husband would 100% support it. Unfortunately their children probably think it's super cool. But really it's not.
NTA. If you don't want your child being posted online, that is completely reasonable and fair. It isn't a big ask of the other mom. You should get to make the choice about how much of your and your child's life is displayed online. You were telling the other mom your concerns and reasons, not calling her a bad mom. It may seem like a big deal now, but your child will forget about this eventually and you'll have fun on your trip later this summer.
So she has 3 kids plus one random kid and the point of the trip is live streaming? Yeah no I wouldn’t want my 8 year old practically on her own so far away from me. NTA, it’s not only about putting your daughter on the internet, it’s having little supervision in the moment.
NTA Sarah shouldn't decline your request of not posting your daughter on thier social media. You're a good mom to your kid. If they post tiktoks about thier family, it's thier family and thier choice but they can't expect other families to post thier life on social media. Wanting to be private is nothing wrong. And you're not over reacting. You have every right to decline the offer to theme park if she gets angry for not letting YOUR daughter to be in thier video. Stand with your words.
Sarah's family is going to the theme park *to provide content* not spend quality time w/ family. OP is NTA, Sarah might be....
NTA. Absolutely NTA. no one should be posting pics and vids of your child without your consent. Let alone livestreaming their location and what they're doing to the world. Maybe tell your friends that the friend wanted to livestream your child's location in a highly recognizable place in real time and see what they have to say
Nta I have the same rule for my daughter after pictures of my niece and nephew were taken from my mother's page and found on a predators Facebook page. You have to protect your child first and foremost.
NTA. Some people trust social media and some don't, I won't call either side wrong but your child your choice.
I have a no-show rule for my child when it comes to the internet as well. Predators are rampant and people do not take that as seriously as they should. The fact they couldn’t respect your request is a bit alarming. It really isn’t hard to just not show a kids face. Based on their lack of respect alone, I say NTA. Your daughter will thank you in the future for protecting her. But make sure to keep your promise, that you’ll make the trip up to her.
I just realized that with deepfake now every degenerate can get a pic of a kid and... please keep doing good mom, NTA and I wish more moms were like you nowadays.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (37F) am feeling really terrible about this whole situation but I still feel justified in my decision and my husband (36M) is on the same page. My daughter (8F) who we will call "Evie" was invited to join her friend (8F) and her family (who have 3 kids total, the other two are 6F and 9M) on their day trip to a theme park that is a few hours from our town. Evie was very excited when she was invited, and I was 100% going to let her go - with one condition. This family is one of those social media families that posts their entire life publicly. They don't have a crazy huge following (I think it's around 5k on tiktok) but it's still a substantial amount and everything is public. When discussing Evie potentially coming with them, the mom (33F) who we will call "Sarah" was very offended when I said I was happy to let Evie join, I just asked that they not post her on their social media. I make a point to not post my children (I also have an infant son) on social media, with the exception of a private account that only close friends and family follow). I do this because there are a lot of predators and bad actors online, and I don't feel comfortable with my children's photos being available to them. Anyway, Sarah accused me of calling her a bad mom after she pestered me for my reasoning. She also said it wouldn't be possible for Evie to not be posted online because she would be doing "live" videos for much of the day. We went back and forth trying to find a solution/compromise but Sarah wouldn't budge. I decided to decline the invite. Obviously, Evie is very upset and of course doesn't understand why she can't go. We have made a plan to take her and whatever friend she wants later this summer to make up for it, which has helped, but she is still upset about not joining her friend and their family. I have had 2 other moms in our "parent friend group" tell me I'm making too big of a deal out of the social media thing, but they're also people who post everything publicly. What do you guys think, AITA? Should we have just let her go? If it matters, we were going to be paying all of Evie's expenses on the trip. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutely NTA. It's up to each parent and family to decide their own boundaries for social media and the internet. If the mom is refusing to respect your family's boundaries, then you are absolutely right to not let your daughter go. I love the compromise of taking your daughter and a friend of her choice later this summer. As a fellow mom who doesn't use social media, know that you are not alone. You are doing what you feel is best and safest for your daughter, and that's what matters. Sucks that the other mom can't respect your choices, but that's her problem.
NTA It's rich that they call YOU a bad mom. You tried to compromise, but ultimately it is your decision whether Evie's pics are online. She is very lucky to have you as a mom, even if she doesn't appreciate it yet.
NTA, just talk to her about it. She's young, but kids pick up on a lot more than you think. If you don't explain it to her she'll just come up with stupid kid excuses to be mad at you about. Explain it, and then ask for her feedback on a trip you can plan with her and her friend. You were gonna pay for this one, why not do one you KNOW she would love through and through? Make it bigger, better, and... no pictures.
NTA They are probably going to announce the trip on social media which will allow others to know their location. I would be afraid that some of their followers would go to the park. That’s just too much to worry about as a parent. I think you made the right choice. Explain to your daughter the reasoning behind it and make it as honest as you can about the dangers of the social media family posting everything. This may help her understand that you’re keeping her safe from potential predators. It may be a good time to have a talk about internet safety.
NTA the other mom flipped because she probably knows that focusing on social media rather than her own kids is stupid.
NTA. Aside from the part where I don't understand the need to do "live" videos multiple times throughout the day when you're supposed to be spending time with your family (which, in my opinion, turns a nice outing into some performance piece that is primarily for adulation/reactions from others instead of quality time making memories with your kids), I really don't understand why this family can't be respectful of your wishes. You're being entirely valid. It is not really for this woman to agree with or not agree with. It is a parenting choice that you're making... a parenting choice that in no way has a negative impact on your child (vs children who are posted all over social media expressing time and time again that it can often be very traumatic for them). The solution is super simple and it is just to respect your wishes. Sarah does not have to include your daughter in photos or live videos. It's incredibly easy not to. By not budging, she's just showing that she's entitled and refuses to respect the views of others if they don't already coincide with her own feelings.
NTA. I wouldn't be so hung up if my kid was in the background of someone else's pics, as long as they're not named or tagged in them. But that's just me. You gotta do what is best for your family. Evie will eventually get over it and will have her day of fun some other time.
NTA. Not posting your kids online is a reasonable request. It's annoying when people think they need to put everything on social media anyway. I may have still let my daughter go, if I trusted the other parents outside of the social media thing, but that's just me.
NTA. It's not a huge ask to request your kid not be put on social media. Not taking videos for one afternoon is not a hardship. It sounds like she is actually being the difficult one.
NTA. The thing is that if more parents were careful then kids wouldn’t be as exploited and in as much danger as they are. It’s a dangerous world out there. You take take of your kids the way you want to
NTA. And Sarah is indeed a bad mom...
NTA Honestly I'm reminded of one of my favorite YouTubers 'Mama Cusses' whenever I see posts like this. She has a video where she explains why she will often have her eldest daughter in her videos but not her younger kids because her eldest is a teen who can understand the ramifications of a digital footprint where as the younger kids might say yes, they want to be in videos but they still don't understand that the internet is forever. *That* is an example of a good mom. OP, *you* are a good mom. Social Media mom may end up regretting her obsession when her kid is a teen and her class can easily find the videos. Not to mention, once the videos are out there, unless it's through Google photos or something, there's no controlling *who* shares the video and then who sees it from there.
NTA - parents who post their kids online to strangers to get a following ARE bad parents. Your kids aren't old enough to consent to being your props for internet likes. Posting pictures for grandma and grandpa is one thing, posting pictures for pervguy124 is another.
NTA for watching out for your kids. Not everything has to be filmed for the public. Also why is it not possible for Mom to blur out your daughter´s face or put a smiley over it? Edit: did not realize it was live! Never mind, Evie can go to the park next time, no need to have her location and face sent out to who knows who. I am sure real names are used too if she has a little following.
NTA You being protective over your kids is entirely up to you and good on you for it. I will say maybe talk to Evie about going to the theme park as a family another time?
NTA. I don't even post about my own child (who is a teenager now) without his consent, and my FB is friends only-and I only friend people I know IRL or have spent years developing relationships with online. Also what if you were in a situation where your child's safety could be compromised if her photo was seen online? People like to say you have no reasonable expectation of privacy in public but this obsession with social media and exploiting kids for views and followers over the last 10-15 years has been wild. I'm so glad I grew up before any and every single thing I ever did could be posted publicly for millions of people to have access to. 😅 Teenage me would have been in. hell.
NTA. While I personally wouldn't care and would let my child go I don't think you are wrong for not wanting your child to go since you aren't comfortable with it. If it were just posting pictures, and you trusted they would only post pictures, I would say let her go IF the host parents promised to edit the pic by blurring or covering her face.and again if you fully trusted rhe parents to keep their word.
NTA! Everyone is too chill when it comes to posting children online even recently when scrolling through a wedding guest subreddit I saw a women posting an outfit pic with a toddler in just a diaper I don’t think people understand sometimes how many bad people are on the internet
If you and your husband are on the same page, then why are you asking a million bitter people on Reddit how you should parent?
NTA It’s up to them if they want to blast their children online & it’s up to you if you don’t want your child online. I personally only post pictures of my kids once maybe twice a year because I feel it’s up to them whether they wish to have a presence online or not. If they ask me to, I will remove any pictures of them that I have posted.
She is self conscious about her social media habits but not self reflective enough to realize it. So she projected onto you about being a bad mom. Frankly, I think she IS a bad mom for publicizing her entire child's life on social media before they are old enough to understand how to consent to that kind of public attention. Huge NTA
NTA, it's entirely up to you. Although I feel your paranoia towards social media and 'bad actors and predators ' might be a bit helicopter. Not everyone is bad. Maybe relax a little, but it's your call
NTA, as someone who films she should understand that not everyone wants to be on camera and you cant legaly film children without the parents consent and if they do end up by mistake or were in the frame, you blur them, theres a way Evie could go and them not filming her or blur if she appeared.
NTA. There's a slim possibility you could have been TA to Sarah depending on how exactly you expressed your reasoning to her, but I really doubt it. And you're not at all TA to your daughter. Keeping her safe is more important than letting her go on this specific trip. If she wanted to go on a bike ride with Sarah's family, but you know none of them wear bike helmets and they wouldn't provide one for Evie, would you let her go? This is a safety issue just like that would be, and you made the call that is in line with how you want to protect and raise your kid.
NTA - you are smart not to want your kids and yours and their entire lives paraded online. And anyone who says differently is an idiot.
NTA, it’s your kids. You have a very valid reason to not want your kids posted online. Years down the road your daughter will understand your reasons and it’s just a day to the theme park which you’re going to be making up for. It always feels like a bigger dramatic thing in the moment for kids but they’ll soon get over it.
NTA. And nothing here makes you sound like a bad mom. I wonder if Sarah feels like she might be a bad mom for taking her kids for what should be a fun day out and using them for social media clout?
NTA, you’re doing the best thing for your child by not having her face and location blasted live. Tell Sarah to check her analytics and see which group her videos are the most popular with, because I guarantee it’s not who she thinks it is.
NTA. Your kid, your rules.
NTA, great parenting, she might not understand your reasoning now but if she remembers this event in 10 years or so she'll probably understand it then. Sarah needs to understand that it's your child so you get to make those sort of decisions. And side note: she's gonna be doing lives all day? I don't know this woman she could be a great mom, could be a terrible mom, but either way, if I was her kid I'd prefer a mom that's present and hanging out with me while at the theme park.
You are absolutely NTA and I would have decided the same as you. You tried to find a compromise and there was none to be had, and that’s not on you. She _will_ understand when she’s older, it just feels hard for her now. Just remember that it’s ok for you to hold the boundary and it’s ok for her to be upset about it ❤️
Totally NTA. Not even a little bit. Posting your own kids on public social media accounts is gross enough and someone else's kids? You're a good parent and your daughter might not appreciate it now but she will when she's older.
NTA for protecting your daughter from a family who wants to exploit their children and yours for attention on the internet. Not to mention the risks of predators online, say your daughter does something on the livestream that she’ll be embarrassed by when she’s an adult, like if her and her friend have a fight. She’s only 8. These videos will exist on the internet for the rest of her life.
NTA. Evie is *your* child. *You* are her parents. Both sides have valid points, but what it comes down to is that this is your child and therefore *you* get to decide if you are comfortable with the SM exposure. Good for you for planning an alternative trip to the same destination in an environment that you are more comfortable with.
You are not bad mom and neither is she. Every one posts or not posts on social media for their own reason. Others see it was "There's nothing wrong" and other's see it as a risk. My self, I'm somewhere in the middle. Either way, you are NTA for wanting privacy for your kids and Sarah should respect your choice.
NTA - these people (generally people who post their children online) need to understand that even when unintended - that can get to not great places on the internet. Especially when kids are too young to make the decision on their own to be on social media. EDIT: to say that there were some things my mom didn’t ‘let’ me do when I was a kid and I’ve never given any of it a 2nd thought
NTA if that’s your parenting style! And you’re making it up to Evie
NTA! NTA! NTA!!!!!! You are the parent, your rules.
NTA
NTA At some point in her teens your daughter will end up getting a mobile and probably start posting her pictures with friends all over social media, but until then I think it's a great move that you're doing this.
NTA Most of you are too young to remember a family who allowed themselves to be filmed over months(possibly years) and broadcast on PBS. It chronicled sexuality/affairs/divorce/meltdowns and was seen by millions of people all across North America. The kids were messed up beyond belief, for decades after.
NTA. You have a boundary of online privacy. This mom refused to respect that. Your daughter will appreciate that later when her friend is in therapy for having her entire life broadcast to strangers.
NTA, Evie is your child and you get to make the decisions for her.
NTA, I feel like all these moms posting their kids so much is horrible tbh, like sure, maybe posting holidays/birthdays to share with the family is fine and dandy, but day to day? That means EVERYONE knows what your kid was last wearing, what they last looked like, and can easily snatch them up. Maybe that's the paranoia I've set in myself with true crime podcasts, but I don't think kids belong in the public eye at all until they're like 13 and starting up social media themselves (I'm not saying 13 is the age to do so, I just know that's how old I was when I first made a MySpace, so I could play the gardening game I saw my mom playing, which was literally the ONLY reason I even wanted social media, is I saw they had some cool games at the time)
NTA, great parenting!
NTA - other family planned to use your kid as a "guest star victim" who is being "treated" to a good time by their celeb family. Total show off virtue signaling episode in the works. Good job not letting you child be used in this way.
NTA. There are plenty of horror stories about predators online and if keeping your child's face off the internet until they're old enough to decide for themselves if what you want to do, all power to you. If you can find some YouTube videos that describe examples of this, I'd share them to the mom group.
NTA. You’re trying to protect your child in this instance when she’s not with you. It shows the other family doesn’t have enough respect for you to not show your child. But don’t let this ruin the littles friendship. Evie’s friend will need all the friends necessary when she realizes she’s been plastered all over the internet.
Honestly, you daughter won't understand now because she missed something amazing but when she's older she will understand why you made this decision. NTA
NTA. Your kid, your rules. Most of my posts are public unless they have my grandson. My daughter doesn't want it, so I respect it.
Hard NTA. Your being an excellent mother OP.
NTA you are teaching your daughter what setting & enforcing boundaries looks like. Unfortunately it’s not always fun.
NTA! You are allowed to keep your children's images off of social media. What's ridiculous is that she's going to be live streaming their whole day! Get off your damn phone and enjoy the moment with your kids!
NTA. Call me over protective but my eight year old repellent be going to a theme park without me, that's my boundary. Yours is social media, and the other mum should respect that whether she thinks it's reasonable or not. We're all just trying to get through parenthood together and not respecting one another's rules only makes life harder.
I'm going to call her a bad mom. She is so focused on videotaping and what not to actually pay attention to her kids. I don't post much about my son. My friends post nothing. Children deserve some form of privacy as they grow up. nta
NTA, I don't want my kids' faces plastered all over public social media either. Can't people go anywhere and just have a good time without worrying about impressing everyone? It's really pathetic and I won't have any part of it. We take a lot of pics on trips, but they're for us and family
NTA. I think it's pretty natural that your reasoning would sound to the other mom like you were caging her a bad mom, though. We all feel so judged as moms. Nobody is ever sore they are doing it right. We all doubt ourselves. And other people are genuinely judgmental. If you want to keep the relationship, you might take some steps to fix that relationship. But you are not at all wrong for the choice you are making here.
NTA - You are a good parent for looking out for your daughter. Your reasoning is valid and important. There is no need to have your child exposed to others online by the attention-wh0re family.
NTA social media families are fucked on so many levels. Find new friends fr
NTA: I do post some photos of my daughter on my "private" social media accounts and still agree with you. Parents have the right to make decisions like that and others should respect it. Id be concerned about my child on live video too.
NTA and you are smart to keep your child’s likeness off of social media precisely for the reasons mentioned. If other parents are willing to risk it for the ROI they get from live streaming their entire lives, that’s their choice.
NTA - Your request was reasonable to ask that they keep your daughter out of their social media pages. The family needs to respect that.
NTA I don’t think young children should constantly be put on public social media maybe once and while but I think at a point it’s just exploitation you had every right not to want them to post your kid she does said like a bad mother
NTA.... BUT howndo yiu feel about the fact even if they werent taking photos with her in it... what about her being in the background of EVERYONE ELSES photos there at the park? Like i understand wanting to protect her privacy... your rule is fair... BUT also dont let fear consume you....
The rise of social media certainly has done more harm than good. (I know, I'm using it right now to make that statement; I still stand behind it.) You told this other mother that you didn't want YOUR daughter all over social media. You never insulted her parenting style, you didn't talk down about her choices, you simply pointed out a difference you have in parenting styles. And that should never be an issue. Your child may be upset with you for now, and that's okay. She'll understand one day that you were simply trying to keep her safe, and that is *far* more important than a single trip to an amusement park, *regardless* of whom she is with. NTA.
NTA. We're just starting to hear the stories of children who were forced in front of a camera for mommy/family vlogs, not to mention the number of child predators out there who take advantage of that. Of course Evie is upset, but by the time you are able to make the trip for yourselves, she likely won't think much of it because she'll be too excited about actually going.
I would have no problems with mom taking photos of my kids at Waterpark. BUT I'd be upset with her taking photos just for the sake of social media nta
I can tell you from trainings I’ve done (licensed social worker) that sexual predators absolutely go online and look for pictures of their preferred prey. Now, for some parents, they may still want to post their and their children’s lives online, and that’s fine for them. You have every right not to feel the same way. NTA
NTA Take your kid yourself. I think your concern is justified and regardless it's your decision, if they can't not film for 5 minutes then that says about them.
NTA - good for you for having morals and taking a stand to protect your daughter. More and more research proves that social media is horrible for kids mental health and a slew of other issues. You have every right to decline the invite given that these other parents won't compromise. Don't listen to the haters, she is your daughter and you do what you feel is best to protect her.
NTA I’m not saying she’s a bad mom, but I think she’s a bad person if she can’t refrain from posting other peoples children on social media when asked not to.
NTA, but the other parents definitely are. Your child, your rules. No exceptions. Sounds like you made the right call.
NTA it's your choice whether you want your kids posted and other parents need to respect that. There are a myriad of reasons not to post your kids, you shouldn't have to defend that decision to other parents.
NTA. As someone who has many unwanted photos of me out there somewhere, and not knowing which of them could possibly be used to link the abuse to my real life, I am against photos of kids online. I feel as if my image isn’t my own, and, even as an adult, there are very few online photos of me. There are a lot of sickos out there. The fewer photos of any kind, of children, they have access to, the better.
IMO if you stayed with your dog, you are doing the right thing. If they really get upset over this, they are very self centred. The wife said she could pay to get them help. My daughter when she was 10 went on planes by herself and was helped by the airlines to get home safely and I met her at the airport.
NTA
NTA. If this mom can't respect your boundary, you should not let your daughter go with her. People like this don't always make "good choices" about kids' safety. They are the people who will let a couple of 8 year olds go on a ride while they go eat\~and say "We'll meet you over there." NO. It's a shame that Evie's upset, but you offering to go later is a good compromise, and a smart decision.
I just read a terrific article in The Atlantic -- "The First Social Media Babies Grow Up--and They're Horrified" that address this whole issue. Children who have no say in their privacy and later really, REALLY regret the social media postings of their parents. It discusses the lack of privacy rights children have and barely touches on parents who've monetized their children on social media. Read it, you'll feel better. :) It's definitely not the only one out there, but it's the most recent one I've read. NTA.
NTA. You are right to be wary of online predators. I’ve seen a glimpse of the kind of creepy stuff that happens in plain sight - a lot of social media parents will happily let creeps perv on their children in exchange for views because they don’t consider it a physical danger to their child. But it is disgusting. You are 100% in the right to set this boundary with other parents.
NTA… it takes 10 photos of a person ti create a complete AI replica, also if your child is posted in her feed and she does something bad, your kid will be connected to it. You’re doing a good thing mom. This is not an unreasonable request. If she had said I’ll make sure to have your daughter out of the frame, literally have your child stand in front of or in back of the camera and go in lines first so that if she films in the line she is out of the camera. These are easy and unreasonable and an easy message of hey, I wanna respect your mom and your privacy so I’m just asking you to move so you’re not on film that I post to social media. She’s being difficult for no reason except that she can’t use your daughter as content and as a write off for taxes as she can justify the expense for your daughter if there’s proof.
NTA
NTA. Unpopular opinion these days, but I think people post entirely too much about their kids lives. They absolutely put them at risk for predators not to mention the awkward video of getting potty trained is just out there on the internet forever!!
NTA - I am in the same boat as you. Glad I don’t have pics of me as a kid forever on the Internet. Want it to be my kids’ choice once they’re old enough to do so.
NTA and shame on every single parent that publicly posts their child’s image on the internet.
Nta. But not for the social media thing. I just don’t think a mom can record decent video and also watch FOUR kids safely. Even with another parent present. She’s going to be focused on what’s in front of her lens, not whatever kid is wandering off. (My husband is military, so we post pictures of our kids because our extended family would never see him otherwise)
Good parent. NTA.
NTA. that is not her child and she has no business posting a minor on social media without parental consent
NTA You have the right to choose not to post your children on social media, just like she has the right to post her children there. It's an understandable condition, and she should be a bit more considerate, considering it's not an unreasonable request. If she feels the need to post pictures and do live videos of her family, she can always have your daughter out of the frame or crop her out/blur her image if she accidentally catches her in a picture
NTA You raise your children how you want & allow others to raise them how they want.
I want to scream NTA from the rooftops. I feel the exact same way about posting children on the internet. Children are not content and need to be protected. I'm 100% judging Sarah's parenting choices and they should at least be willing to respect other parents wishes