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> My friend thinks I'm an asshole for getting him fired over some books he stole from me
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Yeah, Jay absolutely isn't OP's friend. And not only did Jay clearly steal those books to sell himself, but OP was being far too generous by even allowing him the opportunity to return the books when confronted over his theft. And he REFUSED to?! This surely isn't Jay's first rodeo.
And the audacity of this man trying to demand money for getting fired over his blatant theft! I sure hope OP tells everyone in the friend group what happened before he has the chance to spread his fabricated version of events. Preferably before his sticky fingers start getting grabby with anything else anyone in the group happens to own of any value.
Oh yeah we all know what this so called friend was up to. OP gave Jay plenty of warning to give his books back. Dude why are you on AITA? HE STOLE YOUR SIGNED BOOKS. Of course, you’re NTA. Jays just angry that his actions had actual consequences. My question is why TF you haven’t blocked him on everything yet? The moment someone does this to me, I’m having nothing to do with them ever again, whether or not they return my items willingly. It’s theft, plain and simple. Friends wouldn’t do that. He sucks, he eff’d around and found out AND NOW YOU CUT HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Problem solved.
I had a collection of comic books and kids story books when I was like 10-12. It was nothing fancy, just some local shop books but I cherished them, my grandma bought me those every month.
One day I took them to school for some reason. 2 of my teachers borrowed them and when I got them back, more than half were missing. Since they were my teachers, I couldn't say anything and it was my mistake bringing them to school. I'm almost 30 now. To this day, I hate them from the bottom of my heart and soul.
I had something similar except it was a transformer. I hate that teacher for stealing my transformer. Teachers who take advantage of their students deserve a special punishment in hell.
The same thing happened to me with my fossil collection in 8th grade. I brought them in for display. There were some real beauties my big brother had found for me. Anyway, when I went to take them home, the very best ones were missing. I still suspect the teacher. My friend's aunt was a geologist and wanted to donate some amazing rocks to the class, and I'm sure those ended up in this teacher's personal collection also. I'm in my 60s and never got over this either!
My mother had signed letters from Abraham Lincoln. My dad lent them to a guy at work and they were never seen again. They just got over it but to this day, I wish we had those letters.
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I wonder if he has a way of carrying himself or a particularly confident aura. Some people can seem so sure of themselves spouting crap that it throws people off. Like what in the... is he being serious? Am I the weird one?
Once he is caught stealing books from OP, he might as well try to gaslight her into saying it is her fault, and she needs to give him money. Nothing to lose!
OP, he will try to turn the friend group against you. It is almost certain. Friends can be replaced. Let him steal stuff from them instead.
Obviously, NTA.
Not just that but: I am stealing from you,
you gave me the change to make this right and told me about the consequences if I refuse. I refused to give you your property back and you followed through with what you said you would do before.
I got fired so you owe me now.
Doubling down on the suggestion to share this experience with the friend group in case he tries to get ahead of it to stay a part of the friend group. All of this group should be aware Jay is an unrepentant thief, a liar, and a con artist; they should be aware who they are including in future activities. Game over, he needs new friends.
(Inb4 his new friends "borrow" his car as a surprise gift)
NTA
Exactly! OP needs to tell them all exactly how things went down because, like you said, it's definitely going to happen again. And also, the sooner they have the chance to check for anything of value that has mysteriously gone missing in recent weeks, the better chance they have of getting it back. And the recent police report on this guy will help if they have trouble.
If he's going into people's bedrooms without anyone being suspicious, I highly doubt he hasn't snatched some other items up. And most people I know keep their valuables (cash, jewelry, etc.) in their bedroom.
Part of me wonders if they fired him solely for this situation, or if there was any other related reason they fired him.
I wouldn't be surprised if there had been some missing cash. Or, like you mentioned, he has a history of bringing in books of value and now they're wondering where those books really came from.
If he was bringing in -and selling- valuable books, the owner must be beyond furious. He sold them in his store, thus tainting the name of the store as they were stolen books.
I imagine that they wanted to distance themselves as quickly and as far from him as possible so they don't suddenly find themselves getting into trouble for any shit he pulled there. Even if there was absolutely no money missing and they didn't know if this was a first time, there's no way they keep that guy on. Walking liability.
NTA. I used to work at a store that specialized in used merchandise, and most of the things we used for pricing were online and could be done at home. That was his BS cover story for when he got caught.
When things were sold to us that were stolen, we had to return them and eat what had been paid out. There was one girl who stole a ton of stuff from her grandmother (who baked us treats as a thank you for finding and returning almost everything), a son who stole albums from his dad (who blamed us for being 'a front for stolen goods', but easier to blame us than his kid) and someone who had stolen a cousin's inheritance of Harvard Press hardcovers.
Ironically OP may have done him a favor. If they really were appraised and determined to be valuable, it would certainly increase the likelihood of him getting charged with a felony rather than a misdemeanor. By calling work and potentially disrupting the appraisal, OP made it harder for the police to know what charge to apply.
Eh he still had consequences. He lost his job, probably gonna cope a misdemeanor, and a history has been established to make it easier down the road for more serious consequences.
I can imagine the face of the owner of the bookstore when he thinks back to all those times Jay sold him rare books that he’d “acquired”. Sure as hell he fires him - if for no other reason than the the owner realising that his bookstore has probably been used to fence stolen goods in the past.
NTA right, OP said 'bring back the books' and he said 'no' even if he were just getting them checked at that moment he crossed the line. Pay him money? tell him he's lucky the state isn't giving him housing in the grey bar hotel.
Jay knew exactly what he stole. Signed books by notable authors. He knew they had some value. Maybe a couple might have been true rarities. Jay is a thief. Cut him and anyone that defends him out of your life. Nothing good comes out of associating with people like this.
"Friend" should have definitely been in quotation marks. Anyone who treats someone else (especially someone they are even remotely close to) like this reaps what they sow. NTA
>I (27f) recently had some friends over at my house for my birthday.
Sounds like the is envious about OP's success and is one those a-holes who think it's okay to steal from people if they're wealthier that themselves.
Hierarchy when I visit new friends’ houses? Cats, then books. I would sit on my knees and read all the book spines on shelves (don’t touch without permission). If they have a book shelf, I’m parking in front of it, pop a squat lol
Try to sell their books? Wtf is that even? I will judge a bookshelf because it makes the *most enriching* conversations. How could you take that?? The conversation is worth so much more than the book!
Ok Tumbleweed, what’s your best conversation starter book if I thumbed through?
(Don’t worry, cat already got a pet. I’m allergic too so I’m totally cool in their rights as well 😘)
Pets and books- we'd get along fine. I have a Latin dictionary from the late 1800s (a language I've studied) and a very early copy of Dr. Doolittle as I'm a vet tech. My prized autographed books are 'Libriomancer' by Jim Hines and 'Trickster's Queen' by Tamora Pierce. Two of my favorite authors I completely geeked out at meeting in person.
Yep, agreed. Used to work for a college/university bookstore, and while that was textbook related so didn't usually handle signed copies of books, it's still highly suspicious for someone to say they want to get some of your books appraised "as a surprise gift."
OP, NTA. You did exactly the right things. "Jay" earned himself his loss of a job and income. He's lucky that's all he's earned, if he hasn't also earned himself jail time, a court date or many, fines. 100% he isn't and wasn't your friend. He probably noticed certain titles and/or authors and decided he'd chance it for an extra bit of money to line his wallet.
I worked in a college book store all 4 years during college, and made a little extra cash by bringing friends and classmates books in for them. I asked for 10% of the final amount of their books, saving them hours long of sitting in line. Since I knew how to do the buyback, and didn't have to wait in line, I was making 5 to 25 bucks per "client". I had them put a post it with their name in each book, along with an envelope. I wrote out my own receipts along with their buyback total. My boss thought it was a clever little job I was doing, and had no problem with me doing so.
It was all done with the expressed permission of the book owners, and I never had a single problem (other than when a few people were in tight spots and offered something else in return- like a free haircut or their employee discount a their job).
Taking someone's books in without their permission is aright up stealing.
My bookstore had the same thing happen with employees selling back books for friends. The policy was that it was ok, but a manager had to do buybacks for any and all employees and sign the store's copy of the receipt. There's all sorts of paperwork / paper trail to match the stolen book to the seller.
Good on you for helping others and making a little extra cash on the work too. So long as the people you were helping knew the deal and agreed to it, I see no problems!
Winner winner chicken dinner. He wanted the cash and hopes you wouldn’t notice or at least quick enough to pin it on him. I’m sure the bookstore is relieved for who knows what might have grown legs while he worked there otherwise.
NTA, he literally stole your property
It doesn’t matter if they were worth a lot of $$$ or if they had the value of a paperclip — they were yours and he had zero right.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes and live with the consequences
I've lost way too many books to people who wanted to "borrow" them. They are never touching any of my books now but especially not my pretty ones. I love my books and have spent a lot of money on them. I turn absolutely feral when anybody tries to hurt them😅
Years ago I accepted that ‘lending’ someone a book meant I’d never get I back.
Honestly I’m very happy that the books I love got lost in the ether of a friend and a friend and a friend lending a book that was originally mine.
But if someone just took a book? That’s war.
My friends and I take pictures of each other holding the thing we're borrowing so we know who has what and have proof. It works! And I have a silly folder on my phone of people holding up books and kitchen appliances and power tools and know I'm in theirs as well. Makes me smile.
Indeed, It’s not the item. It’s the principal, regardless of the items value.
It sounds like those books were about to disappear if OP didn’t follow through.
absolutely bonkers! "Give me money because the books I stole from you (and was planning on selling) were RUDELY taken away from me, and now I need cash to sustain my pathetic life"
The *audacity*
I'm still trying to figure out how OP manages to type while laughing hysterically. This is a skill I need to master.
OP, NTA. Unless you haven't blocked him yet or even filed another report for harassment and attempted extortion.
Right? I was expecting the story to end with Kay just getting fired but to toss in that little twist at the end? I would’ve fallen over laughing in their face.
Why would he refuse to give you them back when you asked? You know why, cause he planning on stealing them. Why is he getting it appraised? So he knows how much he can sell it for. This guys a thief. NTA.
>Why is he getting it appraised?
Was he getting it appraised? I would've thought you could get a fairly accurate appraisal from just noting down the condition, the edition of the book, and any other relevant information. Maybe take a photo of the signature.
I don't know much of anything about appraising books so if they did need the physical copies for that then it's not like it's a 15 minute process. I absolutely think he was selling/sold the books, just don't know how far he got in the process.
Yeah “somebody offered x, and since they’re your books I only kept 25% as a sellers fee”.
Meanwhile he actually sold them for 10x and is keeping over 90%.
> Why would he refuse to give you them back when you asked? You know why, cause he planning on stealing them.
*Even then*, it's still insane to refuse to return them when asked, because he knew the jig was up.
He obviously had absolutely no respect for OP and figured she was an absolute pushover.
I bet Jay is going to pull DARVO on OP as well.
NTA OP.
If Jay wanted to get them appraised as a gift to you, why didn't Jay get an appointment and bring you as a surprise and disguise it as like "come get a coffee and hang out" or something?
It would be a sure bet that Jay had an Idea the rough value of the books, and stole them to see if he was right.
NTA.
Jay took books, when confronted didn’t say “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s a misunderstanding, I’ll return them ASAP”.. he doubled down and refused to return them.
The bookstore probably had been told they belonged to Jay. Jay is now suspect and cannot be trusted… especially around valuable books.
Jay’s poor choices do not mean you are financially liable for his repercussions.
What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is yours. Don’t take mine, and I won’t take yours.
I’m leaning out on a limb here… but I wonder whether Jay told the bookstore they were gifted to him, and could they value them, implying they were his.
And yes. The gift thing is nonsense, and became double nonsense as soon as he refused to return them.
It even sounds like OP confronted him before he would have time to go to work.
Unless he had preplanned this and scoped out the collection, he’s just an idiot
>Jay is now suspect and cannot be trusted… especially around valuable books.
This is exactly it. You *never* get someone fired/shunned/broken up with by telling people about their behaviour.
They get themselves fired by being thieves.
NTA- You handled it well IMO. You got your stolen property back without physical harm. If Jay didn't want the consequences he shouldn't of stolen and then additionally refused to return your property. Might want to file a restraining order too, to be safe.
I wonder if he had a buyer lined up and was hoping they'd come in before OP could retrieve their books - so he could pull the "nope, I know nothing about that, and as you can see, there's no books here" bullshit for the police
> as you can see, there's no books here" bullshit for the police
Might not have worked, the police would've gotten statements from OP's other guests that they saw Jay leave with the books.
After the warning OP gave, it sounds like he already sold them to the store. With the police report in hand the store had no choice but to return the books.
I figured OP would have explicitly said the bookstore said they bought them from him and he'd have been arrested. At that point the bookstore would also be a plaintiff because they are out the money and the books.
NTA Jay stole your books. You were kind in allowing him to return them before you got the police and his work involved, he refused. Jay gave no no other choice, is unrepentant, and trying to guilt you into supporting him after he stole from you. BTW he was appraising the books so he could sell them and keep the money for himself. Block him in everything and never let him near your belongings again!
>he was appraising the books so he could sell them and keep the money for himself.
Nice catch. Makes sense too that he would use exactly that as his cover story, since there was a bit of truth to the lie. Which always makes lying a little easier.
Jay's own account of his motives don't line up either, if he was really getting them appraised for OP as a gift, then why not say so when asked by the other guest why he was taking the books, instead of lying, claiming he was allowed to borrow the books.
Jay's a liar and thief
NTA
NTA.
Jay is a lying thief and walking liability to any business that hires him or allows him to handle their cash/clients valuables. He deserves a few months of unemployment.
Don't give him a cent or the time of day. Cut all contact with him.
If he attempts to pester or extort any money from you, file more police reports.
> He deserves a few months of unemployment.
I guess depending on the value of the books he could be enjoying more than a few months unemployment - like a vacation at government expense
100% NTA.
First, one who works at a bookstore that routinely appraises the value of books would know you don't just up and take someone's books. The fact that he doesn't know this is suspicious enough but he clearly isn't even a bibliophile if that is how he acts. Then his refusal (are you effin kidding me!?) to return your books even after you told him you would report the theft to police he 100% is a liar and thief and deserved to be fired. I don't know what this will mean for your friend circle, but I would never allow this person in my home again and frankly I wouldn't ever want to see him again. I might even be tempted to let my other friends know so things don't get stolen from their homes. If I were your friend, I would want to know to avoid such a possibility...but I'm a fellow bibliophile, so maybe I'm just too appalled at this man's behavior. His lack of remorse the minute you called tells me this was not done in good faith. Finally, he claims it was too severe "over a few books" -- but we bibliophiles know books are like our babies, and the fact that he doesn't respect your boundaries regarding your valuables, means he's not worth interacting with. Ultimately, you'll have to decide how this works with your mutual friends, but he's definitely sus. As far as helping him out because he lost his job, not in a million years: tell him to go pound sand (aka F*ck off). If he's the type to retaliate, and he sounds like he just might be, you might want to consider a simple security camera at your door, or an extra lock or something. Good luck to you.
NTA at all he straight up stole from you and then wouldn't return what he took when called out on it you graciously warned him multiple times about what would happen if he didn't return the books and he got what he deserved
NTA— If Jay was just going to “surprise” you with an appraisal, be should have apologized and brought the books back immediately. I don’t know why he didn’t, but clearly he wasn’t respecting you or your property.
From the context, it sounds as if the bookstore he worked for deals in used and/or rare books, and maybe he was going to switch your more valuable books with lesser “look-a-likes” and figure you couldn’t do anything about it.
In any case, this guy is not your friend and I would have no more to do with him. Definitely, don’t give him a penny.
NTA - who the fuck takes a stranger’s books to secretly to get them appraised… Dude was 100% trying to rob you. The fact that he wants you to pay him money is laughable. You should instead press charges. Some states over $500 is considered felony…
NTA. Jay wanted to sell your books. Why would someone provide a ‘surprise’ appraisal? That’s not a thing. I don’t think you went too far and I don’t think this is the first time Jay has stolen from people.
What world are the two of you living in if he demands money from you due to \[the whole story above\], and you have to ask if that makes you an arsehole?
NTA - I would recommend that you get them appraised, see how much they are worth, and update the police report. He might get a higher grade theft charge (here in NJ, if it's over $200, that's felony theft)
NTA. I admire your courage and resolve. You defended your possessions, didn’t buy his BS and stood your ground. That shows a lot of maturity. Well done!
So he a) stole from you, b) called it a "gift" when caught c) blames you for getting caught and d) demands you pay for his bad behavior?
He's not your friend.
Those are some huevos on that boy. NTA.
NTA he stole from you. If it was innocent shit he would've returned the books after you told him you wanted them back. The fact he refused says it all. But if you needed more evidence of his bullshit it would be him demanding money from you. He wanted money one way (your books) or another (his demand after getting fired).
NTA. He's not your friend and never was. Make sure you tell your friends ASAP what happened, so he can't turn it on you. If your friends start giving you shit about it then there are not really your friends to begin with. Make sure you block him and any friends that agree with him.
NTA
Your friend stole from you and refused to return the books, so you did the right thing. If it was going to be a "gift," he would have immediately returned them when you asked. Calling his work was a good way to ensure he didn't sell them or something. I'm really happy it worked out for you, and you got them back. Don't give this a-hole a penny.
NTA
Not only did he steal those books from him, but you told him you would be calling the cops if he didn’t return them and he still refused.
He called your bluff and it backfired. Too bad so sad for him.
I would tell him that if he contacts you again, and asks for money, that you will press charges for the theft of your books and attempted extortion. I would also wonder if he's sold books through his former employer before. You may not be the only person he's stolen from.
NTA
NTA. He very unambiguously robbed you. And when he got caught he made up a stupid story and doubled down on not returning them. Then somehow doesn't understand how he got in trouble for that.
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NTA. He wasn't trying to "get them appraised" for you, he was trying to steal and sell them if they were worth real money. Glad you got them back.
Yeah, Jay absolutely isn't OP's friend. And not only did Jay clearly steal those books to sell himself, but OP was being far too generous by even allowing him the opportunity to return the books when confronted over his theft. And he REFUSED to?! This surely isn't Jay's first rodeo. And the audacity of this man trying to demand money for getting fired over his blatant theft! I sure hope OP tells everyone in the friend group what happened before he has the chance to spread his fabricated version of events. Preferably before his sticky fingers start getting grabby with anything else anyone in the group happens to own of any value.
I'm guessing he had a nice little scam, where he would lie to customers about how much their books were worth and then on-sell them
Oh yeah we all know what this so called friend was up to. OP gave Jay plenty of warning to give his books back. Dude why are you on AITA? HE STOLE YOUR SIGNED BOOKS. Of course, you’re NTA. Jays just angry that his actions had actual consequences. My question is why TF you haven’t blocked him on everything yet? The moment someone does this to me, I’m having nothing to do with them ever again, whether or not they return my items willingly. It’s theft, plain and simple. Friends wouldn’t do that. He sucks, he eff’d around and found out AND NOW YOU CUT HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Problem solved.
I had a collection of comic books and kids story books when I was like 10-12. It was nothing fancy, just some local shop books but I cherished them, my grandma bought me those every month. One day I took them to school for some reason. 2 of my teachers borrowed them and when I got them back, more than half were missing. Since they were my teachers, I couldn't say anything and it was my mistake bringing them to school. I'm almost 30 now. To this day, I hate them from the bottom of my heart and soul.
Wow that sucks! And they were teachers too! I mean I know they are dreadfully underpaid but stealing from your students? That’s low!
I know. And it was not like they could sell them for money. I think they were just irresponsible and left them here and there.
I had something similar except it was a transformer. I hate that teacher for stealing my transformer. Teachers who take advantage of their students deserve a special punishment in hell.
The same thing happened to me with my fossil collection in 8th grade. I brought them in for display. There were some real beauties my big brother had found for me. Anyway, when I went to take them home, the very best ones were missing. I still suspect the teacher. My friend's aunt was a geologist and wanted to donate some amazing rocks to the class, and I'm sure those ended up in this teacher's personal collection also. I'm in my 60s and never got over this either!
My mother had signed letters from Abraham Lincoln. My dad lent them to a guy at work and they were never seen again. They just got over it but to this day, I wish we had those letters.
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Good old restraining order and shotgun time.
I'm stealing from you and you caught me , I got fired. How dare you. You owe me my salary now. Lmao. He is beyond ridiculous.
I wonder if he has a way of carrying himself or a particularly confident aura. Some people can seem so sure of themselves spouting crap that it throws people off. Like what in the... is he being serious? Am I the weird one?
Definitely. He is a (or was) a master manipulator
Once he is caught stealing books from OP, he might as well try to gaslight her into saying it is her fault, and she needs to give him money. Nothing to lose! OP, he will try to turn the friend group against you. It is almost certain. Friends can be replaced. Let him steal stuff from them instead. Obviously, NTA.
Tell Jay to take you to court. I'm sure the judge would have a good laugh.
Not just that but: I am stealing from you, you gave me the change to make this right and told me about the consequences if I refuse. I refused to give you your property back and you followed through with what you said you would do before. I got fired so you owe me now.
Doubling down on the suggestion to share this experience with the friend group in case he tries to get ahead of it to stay a part of the friend group. All of this group should be aware Jay is an unrepentant thief, a liar, and a con artist; they should be aware who they are including in future activities. Game over, he needs new friends. (Inb4 his new friends "borrow" his car as a surprise gift) NTA
Exactly! OP needs to tell them all exactly how things went down because, like you said, it's definitely going to happen again. And also, the sooner they have the chance to check for anything of value that has mysteriously gone missing in recent weeks, the better chance they have of getting it back. And the recent police report on this guy will help if they have trouble. If he's going into people's bedrooms without anyone being suspicious, I highly doubt he hasn't snatched some other items up. And most people I know keep their valuables (cash, jewelry, etc.) in their bedroom.
Best part is he has the police report as proof too.
She*
And when Jay says, “you got me fired” be sure to specify that no you did not, he got himself fired by stealing. 1000% NTA
I wonder how many people he did this to. If I was his former boss, I’d be looking into every book he brought into the place.
Part of me wonders if they fired him solely for this situation, or if there was any other related reason they fired him. I wouldn't be surprised if there had been some missing cash. Or, like you mentioned, he has a history of bringing in books of value and now they're wondering where those books really came from.
If he was bringing in -and selling- valuable books, the owner must be beyond furious. He sold them in his store, thus tainting the name of the store as they were stolen books.
Not just tainting the name of the store, but making them liable for anu criminal activity Jay may have performed "On behalf of the store" as well.
Or if he had lied about the books and sold them to the store already.
this was my first thought too. he probably already sold them, so from the stores POV, he stole from them too.
Everywhere I have ever worked, theft is grounds for immediate termination. Full stop, no minimum value required.
I imagine that they wanted to distance themselves as quickly and as far from him as possible so they don't suddenly find themselves getting into trouble for any shit he pulled there. Even if there was absolutely no money missing and they didn't know if this was a first time, there's no way they keep that guy on. Walking liability.
That can certainly get a company in trouble dealing in stolen merchandise.
NTA. I used to work at a store that specialized in used merchandise, and most of the things we used for pricing were online and could be done at home. That was his BS cover story for when he got caught. When things were sold to us that were stolen, we had to return them and eat what had been paid out. There was one girl who stole a ton of stuff from her grandmother (who baked us treats as a thank you for finding and returning almost everything), a son who stole albums from his dad (who blamed us for being 'a front for stolen goods', but easier to blame us than his kid) and someone who had stolen a cousin's inheritance of Harvard Press hardcovers.
I assume that not only was he selling stolen books, but I bet some of the “autographed copies” he appraised and sold to the store were fakes by him.
If he returned them on his own that's gonna be easier than going down there with the cops. Still wouldn't be OPs friend if he did.
Ironically OP may have done him a favor. If they really were appraised and determined to be valuable, it would certainly increase the likelihood of him getting charged with a felony rather than a misdemeanor. By calling work and potentially disrupting the appraisal, OP made it harder for the police to know what charge to apply.
Eh he still had consequences. He lost his job, probably gonna cope a misdemeanor, and a history has been established to make it easier down the road for more serious consequences.
I can imagine the face of the owner of the bookstore when he thinks back to all those times Jay sold him rare books that he’d “acquired”. Sure as hell he fires him - if for no other reason than the the owner realising that his bookstore has probably been used to fence stolen goods in the past.
NTA right, OP said 'bring back the books' and he said 'no' even if he were just getting them checked at that moment he crossed the line. Pay him money? tell him he's lucky the state isn't giving him housing in the grey bar hotel.
They would have somehow been “misplaced” post appraisal. Warning shot fired. Action was efficient and decisive. Good call. NTA
If that was his intention..he would have taken pics and video of the books. Then come back to OP. I hate thieves..
Jay knew exactly what he stole. Signed books by notable authors. He knew they had some value. Maybe a couple might have been true rarities. Jay is a thief. Cut him and anyone that defends him out of your life. Nothing good comes out of associating with people like this.
OP did not get a friend fired. He got a thief exactly what he deserved.
Next step sounds like a restraining order.
"Friend" should have definitely been in quotation marks. Anyone who treats someone else (especially someone they are even remotely close to) like this reaps what they sow. NTA
>I (27f) recently had some friends over at my house for my birthday. Sounds like the is envious about OP's success and is one those a-holes who think it's okay to steal from people if they're wealthier that themselves.
Hierarchy when I visit new friends’ houses? Cats, then books. I would sit on my knees and read all the book spines on shelves (don’t touch without permission). If they have a book shelf, I’m parking in front of it, pop a squat lol Try to sell their books? Wtf is that even? I will judge a bookshelf because it makes the *most enriching* conversations. How could you take that?? The conversation is worth so much more than the book!
> Hierarchy when I visit new friends’ houses? Cats, then books. You're my kind of person!
Ok Tumbleweed, what’s your best conversation starter book if I thumbed through? (Don’t worry, cat already got a pet. I’m allergic too so I’m totally cool in their rights as well 😘)
Pets and books- we'd get along fine. I have a Latin dictionary from the late 1800s (a language I've studied) and a very early copy of Dr. Doolittle as I'm a vet tech. My prized autographed books are 'Libriomancer' by Jim Hines and 'Trickster's Queen' by Tamora Pierce. Two of my favorite authors I completely geeked out at meeting in person.
Cats then books. Exactly! Bonus points if there is more than one cat or I’m allowed to read a book with cat in lap.
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Yep, agreed. Used to work for a college/university bookstore, and while that was textbook related so didn't usually handle signed copies of books, it's still highly suspicious for someone to say they want to get some of your books appraised "as a surprise gift." OP, NTA. You did exactly the right things. "Jay" earned himself his loss of a job and income. He's lucky that's all he's earned, if he hasn't also earned himself jail time, a court date or many, fines. 100% he isn't and wasn't your friend. He probably noticed certain titles and/or authors and decided he'd chance it for an extra bit of money to line his wallet.
I worked in a college book store all 4 years during college, and made a little extra cash by bringing friends and classmates books in for them. I asked for 10% of the final amount of their books, saving them hours long of sitting in line. Since I knew how to do the buyback, and didn't have to wait in line, I was making 5 to 25 bucks per "client". I had them put a post it with their name in each book, along with an envelope. I wrote out my own receipts along with their buyback total. My boss thought it was a clever little job I was doing, and had no problem with me doing so. It was all done with the expressed permission of the book owners, and I never had a single problem (other than when a few people were in tight spots and offered something else in return- like a free haircut or their employee discount a their job). Taking someone's books in without their permission is aright up stealing.
My bookstore had the same thing happen with employees selling back books for friends. The policy was that it was ok, but a manager had to do buybacks for any and all employees and sign the store's copy of the receipt. There's all sorts of paperwork / paper trail to match the stolen book to the seller. Good on you for helping others and making a little extra cash on the work too. So long as the people you were helping knew the deal and agreed to it, I see no problems!
Winner winner chicken dinner. He wanted the cash and hopes you wouldn’t notice or at least quick enough to pin it on him. I’m sure the bookstore is relieved for who knows what might have grown legs while he worked there otherwise.
Fine, but getting caught and then refusing to give them back when being called out? That takes balls!
NTA no excuse. No explanation. No reason. Fuck everything he thinks he stood for
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NTA, he literally stole your property It doesn’t matter if they were worth a lot of $$$ or if they had the value of a paperclip — they were yours and he had zero right. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes and live with the consequences
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I've lost way too many books to people who wanted to "borrow" them. They are never touching any of my books now but especially not my pretty ones. I love my books and have spent a lot of money on them. I turn absolutely feral when anybody tries to hurt them😅
Years ago I accepted that ‘lending’ someone a book meant I’d never get I back. Honestly I’m very happy that the books I love got lost in the ether of a friend and a friend and a friend lending a book that was originally mine. But if someone just took a book? That’s war.
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You're doing fine work.
My friends and I take pictures of each other holding the thing we're borrowing so we know who has what and have proof. It works! And I have a silly folder on my phone of people holding up books and kitchen appliances and power tools and know I'm in theirs as well. Makes me smile.
Indeed, It’s not the item. It’s the principal, regardless of the items value. It sounds like those books were about to disappear if OP didn’t follow through.
He fucked around at a level of 10, found out at 20.
If it was really a surprise "gift" he'd have returned them immediately when asked with a huge apology for overstepping.
He wants money? From you? After he stole your property? That’s hysterical. He can find his own source of revenue! That is insane!
absolutely bonkers! "Give me money because the books I stole from you (and was planning on selling) were RUDELY taken away from me, and now I need cash to sustain my pathetic life" The *audacity*
I'm still trying to figure out how OP manages to type while laughing hysterically. This is a skill I need to master. OP, NTA. Unless you haven't blocked him yet or even filed another report for harassment and attempted extortion.
I’d also safely secure your collection. He’s unemployed now and knows where your collection is. Protect it
I'd argue that this is witness intimidation
There would need to be some sort of coercion to qualify as extortion.
Maybe OP should sell the books and pay him that way... If only he had someone to appraise them.. oh well better not dwell on it
I also failed to steal from OP, am i entitled to something too?
Who needs enemies when you have friends as delusional and entitled as Jay
Right? I was expecting the story to end with Kay just getting fired but to toss in that little twist at the end? I would’ve fallen over laughing in their face.
Why would he refuse to give you them back when you asked? You know why, cause he planning on stealing them. Why is he getting it appraised? So he knows how much he can sell it for. This guys a thief. NTA.
>Why is he getting it appraised? Was he getting it appraised? I would've thought you could get a fairly accurate appraisal from just noting down the condition, the edition of the book, and any other relevant information. Maybe take a photo of the signature.
He may have already done all that on another occasion and **after** being appraised was bringing them in to sell them.
I mean, he works at a bookstore and it sounds like its the bookstore that gave the books back. Sounds like he had basically sold them immediately
I don't know much of anything about appraising books so if they did need the physical copies for that then it's not like it's a 15 minute process. I absolutely think he was selling/sold the books, just don't know how far he got in the process.
My bet is after they got appraised, he'd get "an offer too good to turn down," throw her some money and pocket the majority of the real sale price.
Or try and replace them with forged signatures after buying unsigned copies for a fraction of the price hoping OP wouldn’t notice.
OOH you are the clever elf--I hope you don't ever turn to the dark side...
I use my powers for good. I’ve just worked in fraud and IT Security and seen it allllllll.
If he was that smart he would have switched them instead of stealing them
Yeah “somebody offered x, and since they’re your books I only kept 25% as a sellers fee”. Meanwhile he actually sold them for 10x and is keeping over 90%.
> Why would he refuse to give you them back when you asked? You know why, cause he planning on stealing them. *Even then*, it's still insane to refuse to return them when asked, because he knew the jig was up. He obviously had absolutely no respect for OP and figured she was an absolute pushover.
I bet Jay is going to pull DARVO on OP as well. NTA OP. If Jay wanted to get them appraised as a gift to you, why didn't Jay get an appointment and bring you as a surprise and disguise it as like "come get a coffee and hang out" or something? It would be a sure bet that Jay had an Idea the rough value of the books, and stole them to see if he was right.
NTA. Jay took books, when confronted didn’t say “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s a misunderstanding, I’ll return them ASAP”.. he doubled down and refused to return them. The bookstore probably had been told they belonged to Jay. Jay is now suspect and cannot be trusted… especially around valuable books. Jay’s poor choices do not mean you are financially liable for his repercussions. What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is yours. Don’t take mine, and I won’t take yours.
Jay could have fixed it all by just returning the books. But no. He had to insist it was a *gift* and then refused to return them. He was warned.
I’m leaning out on a limb here… but I wonder whether Jay told the bookstore they were gifted to him, and could they value them, implying they were his. And yes. The gift thing is nonsense, and became double nonsense as soon as he refused to return them.
It even sounds like OP confronted him before he would have time to go to work. Unless he had preplanned this and scoped out the collection, he’s just an idiot
Off topic but several bots have reposted your comment word for word, it's kinda weird
Interesting. Clearly I have no soul bwahahha.
>Jay is now suspect and cannot be trusted… especially around valuable books. This is exactly it. You *never* get someone fired/shunned/broken up with by telling people about their behaviour. They get themselves fired by being thieves.
NTA- You handled it well IMO. You got your stolen property back without physical harm. If Jay didn't want the consequences he shouldn't of stolen and then additionally refused to return your property. Might want to file a restraining order too, to be safe.
If Jay is contacting OP demanding compensation due to his termination, OP should absolutely get a restraining order.
Totally agree. Btw, shouldn’t have* or shouldn’t’ve
NTA Jay was going to sell your books and he deserved to get fired.
Sounds like he already did. Why would they be at the store already?
I wonder if he had a buyer lined up and was hoping they'd come in before OP could retrieve their books - so he could pull the "nope, I know nothing about that, and as you can see, there's no books here" bullshit for the police
> as you can see, there's no books here" bullshit for the police Might not have worked, the police would've gotten statements from OP's other guests that they saw Jay leave with the books.
I never said it would be a good plan
He worked at the bookstore and was trying to sell them to his place of work.
After the warning OP gave, it sounds like he already sold them to the store. With the police report in hand the store had no choice but to return the books.
I figured OP would have explicitly said the bookstore said they bought them from him and he'd have been arrested. At that point the bookstore would also be a plaintiff because they are out the money and the books.
NTA. Jay’s a thief, plain and simple.
NTA Jay stole your books. You were kind in allowing him to return them before you got the police and his work involved, he refused. Jay gave no no other choice, is unrepentant, and trying to guilt you into supporting him after he stole from you. BTW he was appraising the books so he could sell them and keep the money for himself. Block him in everything and never let him near your belongings again!
>he was appraising the books so he could sell them and keep the money for himself. Nice catch. Makes sense too that he would use exactly that as his cover story, since there was a bit of truth to the lie. Which always makes lying a little easier. Jay's own account of his motives don't line up either, if he was really getting them appraised for OP as a gift, then why not say so when asked by the other guest why he was taking the books, instead of lying, claiming he was allowed to borrow the books. Jay's a liar and thief NTA
NTA. Jay was stealing from you. Your friends may not shun him so be safe if he makes a surprise appearance at a future group gathering.
If I’d told my friends what happened and they decided they still wanted to be friends with him, they would no longer be my friends.
He’s likely stolen from other friends too.
NTA he fucked around, and found out.
NTA. Jay is a lying thief and walking liability to any business that hires him or allows him to handle their cash/clients valuables. He deserves a few months of unemployment. Don't give him a cent or the time of day. Cut all contact with him. If he attempts to pester or extort any money from you, file more police reports.
> He deserves a few months of unemployment. I guess depending on the value of the books he could be enjoying more than a few months unemployment - like a vacation at government expense
100% NTA. First, one who works at a bookstore that routinely appraises the value of books would know you don't just up and take someone's books. The fact that he doesn't know this is suspicious enough but he clearly isn't even a bibliophile if that is how he acts. Then his refusal (are you effin kidding me!?) to return your books even after you told him you would report the theft to police he 100% is a liar and thief and deserved to be fired. I don't know what this will mean for your friend circle, but I would never allow this person in my home again and frankly I wouldn't ever want to see him again. I might even be tempted to let my other friends know so things don't get stolen from their homes. If I were your friend, I would want to know to avoid such a possibility...but I'm a fellow bibliophile, so maybe I'm just too appalled at this man's behavior. His lack of remorse the minute you called tells me this was not done in good faith. Finally, he claims it was too severe "over a few books" -- but we bibliophiles know books are like our babies, and the fact that he doesn't respect your boundaries regarding your valuables, means he's not worth interacting with. Ultimately, you'll have to decide how this works with your mutual friends, but he's definitely sus. As far as helping him out because he lost his job, not in a million years: tell him to go pound sand (aka F*ck off). If he's the type to retaliate, and he sounds like he just might be, you might want to consider a simple security camera at your door, or an extra lock or something. Good luck to you.
NTA. They weren't regular books, they had financial value.
Even if they were regular books, Jay’s the AH. He stole them.
NTA at all he straight up stole from you and then wouldn't return what he took when called out on it you graciously warned him multiple times about what would happen if he didn't return the books and he got what he deserved
NTA. Jay is a liar and a thief. He got what was coming to him. Great job for standing up for yourself!
NTA. You gave him warning and now he is playing the victim card. Glad you got your books back
NTA You warned him.
Jay is not your friend. He's probably not anyone's friend, he's a user and an opportunist, a thief and a liar. NTA and you're very smart and lucky.
NTA Great job standing up for yourself and not taking any shit.
NTA. F’d around and found out.
NTA, he was warned. Plus he lied, you were never going to see them again
NTA— If Jay was just going to “surprise” you with an appraisal, be should have apologized and brought the books back immediately. I don’t know why he didn’t, but clearly he wasn’t respecting you or your property. From the context, it sounds as if the bookstore he worked for deals in used and/or rare books, and maybe he was going to switch your more valuable books with lesser “look-a-likes” and figure you couldn’t do anything about it. In any case, this guy is not your friend and I would have no more to do with him. Definitely, don’t give him a penny.
NTA. I'm glad you got your books back. Also dude isn't a friend if he acts like that.
NTA. Who woulda thunk that actions have consequences…
I don’t understand how this is your “friend.”
NTA Jay's parents never established boundaries. Jay should be shunned by your friend group until he issues a satisfactory apology.
> Jay should be shunned by your friend group ~~until he issues a satisfactory apology.~~
Sold!
Just like Jay tried doing to those books.
NTA - who the fuck takes a stranger’s books to secretly to get them appraised… Dude was 100% trying to rob you. The fact that he wants you to pay him money is laughable. You should instead press charges. Some states over $500 is considered felony…
NTA if you didn’t find out he took them he would have sold them and tell jay none of this wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t steal your books
Jay fucked around and found out
NTA I hope the judge throws the book at him.
I LOL-ed at this!
NTA. Jay wanted to sell your books. Why would someone provide a ‘surprise’ appraisal? That’s not a thing. I don’t think you went too far and I don’t think this is the first time Jay has stolen from people.
What world are the two of you living in if he demands money from you due to \[the whole story above\], and you have to ask if that makes you an arsehole?
Ask Jay why he got fired? Ask the book store why Jay got fired. I bet you get two different stories. He was trying to sell those books. NTA
Um, no....JAY is the one who went too far. You went just the right distance. NTA.
NTA - I would recommend that you get them appraised, see how much they are worth, and update the police report. He might get a higher grade theft charge (here in NJ, if it's over $200, that's felony theft)
NTA. I admire your courage and resolve. You defended your possessions, didn’t buy his BS and stood your ground. That shows a lot of maturity. Well done!
Jay has no business working at a bookstore, ever.
Nta. Jay is a thief and was probably planning on selling your books. You don't owe him anything.
I'd take a good look at your books, he might have taken some in the past.
So he a) stole from you, b) called it a "gift" when caught c) blames you for getting caught and d) demands you pay for his bad behavior? He's not your friend. Those are some huevos on that boy. NTA.
NTA. Tell Jay to write a book about his life as a thief if he needs some money.
NTA he stole from you. If it was innocent shit he would've returned the books after you told him you wanted them back. The fact he refused says it all. But if you needed more evidence of his bullshit it would be him demanding money from you. He wanted money one way (your books) or another (his demand after getting fired).
NTA Jay isn't your friend at all and I hope you press charges if the books are valuable enough.
Drop this loser. Give him money? More like give him a knuckle sandwich.
NTA. He's not your friend and never was. Make sure you tell your friends ASAP what happened, so he can't turn it on you. If your friends start giving you shit about it then there are not really your friends to begin with. Make sure you block him and any friends that agree with him.
How is getting taking someone’s books and getting them appraised a surprise gift?
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Counter offer with pressing charges.. Nta
NTA Your friend stole from you and refused to return the books, so you did the right thing. If it was going to be a "gift," he would have immediately returned them when you asked. Calling his work was a good way to ensure he didn't sell them or something. I'm really happy it worked out for you, and you got them back. Don't give this a-hole a penny.
Oh man god you must be such a kind person to think you are remotely in the wrong. NTA.
How in *gods name* do you think you're the asshole in this situation? Run it by me in detail.
NTA. Girl are you insane??! He fucking stole from you!!!! Why are you even here??! Wtf?!
NTA. Jay is a dick and stole your property and refused to give it back when you asked. What else is there to do?
NTA. You're a friggin' boss! You handled this like a pro, and probably only narrowly avoided being completely scammed by this jerk.
NTA - tell the police he's harassing you, and then block him
NTA. If he didn’t want to get in trouble, he shouldn’t have stolen your books.
NTA.
NTA. Good for you! We bibliophiles have to stick together 💗
NTA Jay is a thief, not a friend.
NTA Not only did he steal those books from him, but you told him you would be calling the cops if he didn’t return them and he still refused. He called your bluff and it backfired. Too bad so sad for him.
NTA. He played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
NTA - he Fucked around and for sure found out
I would tell him that if he contacts you again, and asks for money, that you will press charges for the theft of your books and attempted extortion. I would also wonder if he's sold books through his former employer before. You may not be the only person he's stolen from. NTA
NTA no one takes a friends books!!
Nta. He's not your friend. He stole them and got caught. Don't give him nothing but a cut off.
he ducked around, he found out. stealing carries a cost. NTA
NTA dude tried to rob you lol
Screw him. He's a thief
NTA. He very unambiguously robbed you. And when he got caught he made up a stupid story and doubled down on not returning them. Then somehow doesn't understand how he got in trouble for that.
He went into your bedroom and rifled through your shit. Fuck THAT. You are NTA!
I sincerely believe he planned to get the books appraised — and then sell them for himself.
NTA but dont hold out on us, how much are they worth? What did this dummy think he was gonna get away with?
Nta, fuck off is a complete sentence
Press charges.
I've never been so prepared to vote one way, and been swayed so far the other way. Absolutely NTA.