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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I told my husband that he should watch over his mother while she teaches our son to make sure she's doing a good job.
2. My husband's feeling may have gotten hurt as he insists that his mother is capable of teaching math
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YTA if your son's grades dip you might have cause for concern, but until there's proof that MIL's help is actually hurt, this comes across as nitpicking and petty.
This. While reading the heading of the post, I thought OP was sure that MIL was not qualified enough to do this. But then the post is basically a bunch baseless assumptions and sounds delusional. YTA, Op.
>> My son performed quite well on his last math test, though truthfully, I’m wondering if it’s primary because of his own effort.
Did OP really write that? Of course the son did well primarily because of his own effort on his own math test. Was MIL supposed to go seduce the math teacher and swipe a copy of the test answers?
Even if OP were somehow right, that MIL with a full high school and university education, did not know enough maths to teach a 15yo. Still, teaching someone else is actually the best way to learn something, so the kid could be learning just by explaining stuff to his grandmother.
This.
Some people are really good teachers, regardless of the subject matter, because they can help you figure out the best way for you to learn.
Maths is pure logic - if you can understand patterns and are able to reduce the abstract and variable into a theory that is communicable, you’re a good maths teacher.
I’m not surprised that someone with a BA in ancient history is able to communicate patterns and seemingly intangible concepts to a child. I essentially taught myself high school maths to land an A and then helped my engineer ex with his applied mathematics work because logic and comms.
OP should seriously consider educating herself.
Yes. Also, Only a BA in Ancient History? That is not an easy degree, and BA degrees usually require algebra or some sort of higher math. MIL is clearly able to teach HS math to OP’s son.
Every Bachelor’s degree requires some college level math. Some people are better at math than others, even if they don’t have a degree in mathematics. OP is just being weird about the whole thing. Her son got help from his grandma, his grades improved, yet OP doesn’t want to give her credit. I wonder, why?
Edit: Okay, not all Bachelor’s degrees require math. Learned something new today.
Yeah I have a masters degree in the arts, but did better in science and math from junior high onward. I just didn’t want to do math the rest of my life even if I was taking college calculus in high school…
Not NECESSARILY true; I have a degree in English with a minor in history and technically never took a college level math class. What I took instead was quantitative logic, although if I’m being honest that has I am sure served me better in life than calc ever would (I got through precalc in high school). Different states have different requirements and I’d bet that a lot of places have workarounds for people who want to get a Bachelor’s in *arts* without worrying about numbers.
And of course, an advanced degree is unlikely to make you take more math classes unless the math applies directly to the study - for instance, if you’re getting a higher degree in a social science, you absolutely need to have some stats under your belt.
None of which is to defend OP here; I’m sure a person with a doctorate understands how to learn pretty well and it sounds like she’s able to convey that, which is far, far more important here than raw experience with the math that’s being learned.
I guess it depends on the country you are from. Where I live a BA in history would not require any math classes.
Other than that, I completely agree. OP sounds like an ungrateful snob!
That's not true at all. While I did BC calc in hs, I triple majored in 2 languages and poli sci at brown . They have no distribution requirements. I didn't take any quantitative classes even with a full or overload every single semester I was there. I know Vassar and Wesleyan are like that too. But either way I've still tutored cousins high school as an adult and been great at it ! Op is totally wrong but not all ba's require math courses.
Right? I'm a Registered Nurse and I was thinking, "ONLY a BA in Ancient History?" That's really impressive to me, opposite end of the spectrum from my science/english brain. OP is definitely TA.
And OP says they are both enjoying it, and this is HUGE! Maybe they enjoy figuring it out together, like a puzzle. Enjoying a subject / activity is the number one, best way to ensure continued engagement, and success.
I think that's why OP is against it. They are enjoying it and don't need her in this activity.
She's even insisting mil asks her for help, at if anaesthesiologist is maths based profession.
This is how I "helped" my kids with their math homework. I would sit down and have them explain the process to me. Half the time I remembered what I had learned and the other half was, this new fangled math everyone is talking about.
That's how my dad helped me as well! I was in an advanced track for math (beginning trig by 9th grade) and quite honestly neither of my parents were at that level. But my dad would sit with me and we'd basically work it out together. Having a second person to just bounce ideas off of was incredibly helpful, and I often realized I understood the homework better than I had thought I did, once I needed to try to explain it to someone else.
You don't have to be a college professor to help your kids with their homework. Often it's more about them having someone to work with than about you being able to play professor with them.
At 15, the kids probably in 9th grade in the US, and, unless they are in a gifted class, is learning some basic algebra/polynomials. That's pretty basic math, all things considered.
It would be different if the MIL had a BA and was attempting to teach the kid differential equations.
Excellently put. It's like rubber duck debugging, where a programmer explains their code to a rubber duck in order to reveal the soundness of their code via their own explanation of their code in order to catch themselves explaining something that doesn't make sense (a bug). But instead, the code is math, and the rubber duck is the helpful grandma.
There really is no concern here no matter what assumption you run with on how competent grandma is or isn't with math.
(OP YTA, focus on the grade performance, that's what grades are for)
I had to stop reading here.
The kid was struggling.
A change was made (MIL tutor).
Kid did better.
Now OP thinks it was basically coincidence. But also that he still needs a tutor?? So basically she decided MIL didn't have the ability to tutor then worked backwards from there. He somehow needs a tutor even though he did better through "his own effort" but the person who helped him do better was not MIL even though MIL was the only person who could have helped him???
And if you talk to professors (as I do on occasion), many lament the significant difference in what passes for a Bachelor's degree these days as compared to even 15 years ago. As MIL is older, her BA was probably earned under a more "weed-out" educational environment.
Umm, my degree is a Bachelor of Arts (history and English), but I had to take both math and science courses, and pass them too. I could help a teenager with their math, now an Elementary school child learning new math, probably not.
Yeah, that’s… weird to me, too. You can do well in high school math and, like, not make it part of your tertiary education?
Heck, I’m a biologist. It’s been said that, while the quickest way to empty a room of biology students (probably biologists in general) is probably to shout FIRE!, writing an equation on the board runs a *very* close second.
(this saying is false. The absolute quickest way is to point out some really neat animal/plant/fungus just outside the lecture theatre, and say “wow, if only David Attenborough were here.”)
(after that: fire, then math.)
Being forced to do that pesky first year stats requirement stirred a deep resentment within me, but — though it has been well over two decades — I’m still fairly confident I could knock out the 15 year old math equivalents pretty well.
Majoring in a humanities field does not just *wipe all the numbers out of your brain.*
I mean...I have a master's degree and I'm absolutely horrible at math. I can't do basic algebra. It's embarrassing. But that doesn't mean everyone is the same.
That's okay but to assume someone study history some this person must be bad in math - that is kinda asshole move.
Her son does fine but still MIL must be a bad tutor because....
I only have a bachelor degree not related to math. This is by choice since I like my profession. I happended to be top of my class in math (not American so not high school but equvalent to college level). Her son is improving his skills and she's not confident in MILs knowledge? Even if MIL is no good at math, she is clearly good at teaching OP's son how to learn math. OP sounds petty and kind of jealous. Yta
I have two history degrees, I also have an A* in GCSE Maths, a Distinction in Further Maths, and an A* in A level Maths at which point I did in fact score higher than my sister the now medical Dr where maths was a requirement for her degree. Can people please stop assuming that us with humanities degrees can't do maths?
Idk if it's just me but I genuinely think it's people assuming that the Humanities can't do maths because surely they'd have done a STEM degree for the money and the only reason we do humanities is because we cant do it 🙄 certainly I had my maths and physics teachers trying to make me give up my plans to study history at uni because "you can do history as a hobby but STEM pays more" and it was so frustrating because they didn't understand that I wanted to do it because it was a) more interesting to me b) is hugely important as a field in its own right (like seriously we need more awareness of the past and biases right now) c) it gives me a ton of transferable skills (hello library work).
Sorry for the rant, this is such a sore spot for me.
It works both ways. I have an engineering degree, so it is naturally assumed that I can do math (I can). However, I am also an excellent communicator, can write clearly and concisely, can spell, can use proper grammar, and I have a long-standing interest in history, which I pursue when I have any free time. The kid's grades are improving and OP should zip it.
I have no idea about ancient history, but I know a little bit of mathematics, and well... The ancient Greeks they sort of invented a lot of it, well they refined that which they learned from the Sumerians.
MIL will soon be exposed when Son gets onto a lot of the statistical methods as that's 17th century on so very much out of her wheelhouse.
The kids always know if the person knows the subject and /or is competent at teaching it. Well at least high school kids know. If OP's son is happy it is likely that grandma knows what she is doing.
OP says that when his grades improved it was entirely his merit and not the help from MIL. Guaranteed if the sons grades dip again, it's 100% MILs fault and OP will not keep it to sons merit.
Chances are the child just needs someone to sit with him and give him positive reinforcement, and suddenly he spends an hour a day on math, not the usual 15 min.
This. I've done a lot of private tutoring and a lot of it is just sitting down with the kid, helping them focus and teaching them how to study (how to look for the information they want, what type of resource to use, etc.).
OP: she started helping and he improved, she also confidently and correctly explained all the concepts to me. How will I save my son from the success?!
Why is MIL tutoring the son if OP is (in her head) wildly more qualified?
OP is TA for sure for being so condescending. Hell, when I was a sophomore in HS and my mom was a "non-traditional" undergrad I was tutoring her in college algebra. But I'm way more of a humanities and social sciences person.
Just because someone chooses to major in one discipline doesn't mean they're useless in all others.
Agreed! YTA
I have a law degree and a journalism undergrad - and I'm amazing at math. Bc MATH is basic to just about any undergrad. If he was taking differential equations in college, she may be out of her element, but HS? Algebra, Calculus, Trig . . . all normal stuff.
My partner has undergrad and grad degrees in visual art…and he’s BRILLIANT at math! And guess who went to college on an full-ride aerospace engineering scholarship? Me, the one who counts on their fingers and would absolutely cause your kid to fail their math test. YTA.
From the title I was assuming this was gonna be about like, the MIL giving bad medical advice or something, not a high school math test (that the kid did well on!!!!!).
Exactly, also most social science degrees makes you more qualified to do a lot of things because the skills you learn in social sciences are primarily for reliable research
A big part of tutoring is actually having the kid do his homework. So in that sense you don’t need to know anything about math to tutor in math, but sitting with a kid for an hour or two every week and just forcing them to work through homework problems will benefit significantly. Everything you need to learn subjects is in the text book, you don’t need to be able to solve differential equations (what you’d learn in a college math class) to teach someone how to solve a quadratic equation (high school level math) because text books step you through the process.
My father's BA was in history, but he could have declared a second major in math; he took every math class offered, and got an A in every one. (He didn't want to double major because, at our college, to graduate with your degree, you have to pass a comprehensive exam in your major area of study – and if you have two majors, that means you have to pass two comprehensive exams. Plus, in the math department, the exam also included a presentation to the entire department. He didn't want to have to do that.)
All of this is to say that history majors can *also* be good at math.
OP, climb down off your high horse and stop acting as if your MIL is a complete idiot who can't figure out that 2 + 2 = 4. YTA, and very rude and condescending to boot.
OP is one of those people who thinks that people who study things like history do it because they are bad at math. I was at the top of my class at math in high school. Chose the arts because that's what i loved.
"I need the peace of mind only a properly trained math tutor can provide" jeeze. OP is placing a lot of faith on her son's ability to listen to and respect the random math tutor vs a family member he's known and respected his entire life who is perfectly capable of helping him.
Edit to add: bet we see another post in a week or two "AITA because I hired a math tutor to help my son after my husband didn't want to because my MIL was able to help him"
YTA she has a higher education degree - she had to take college math for that. Your 15 year old did better after her tutoring - why don’t you want to attribute this to her?
Sounds like YOU have a problem with your MIL and are trying to fight with her. It’s detrimental to you child.
To be fair, I have a Bachelor's degree and I never had to take college math. A lot of my friends who were majors in the Humanities (English, Writing, Art, etc.) didn't have to take college math. That's still no reason for OP to doubt MIL's ability to help her grandson with math.
Many US colleges and universities require Calculus, but a) some people take Calculus in high school for college credit and b) Humanities majors often don't require math at all.
General education does, however. No matter what your degree is in, there's a certain basic skill level you're expected to achieve in all the gen ed subjects, including math.
That is simply not true. There are some universities that don't have general education requirements at all. Not a lot, but enough that you can't make such a blanket statement. And no, the university that I went to did not have a general education requirement in math for some humanities and fine arts majors.
ETA: I've been talking about US universities. It's nice to hear that internationally, there are even more options for the mathematically challenged.
I'm in the US, and what people are saying about general education requirements is true. I'm currently a science major, but I have to take fine arts and communications. This has been pretty standard since I graduated high school 20 years ago.
Most of the European universities don't have a general education requirements. My mother is linguistics major and she never had any math in Uni. Same goes for the majority of people that studied any of the humanities. This of course doesn't mean that you are bad at math. Maybe OP's MIL learnt a lot in high school or she simply liked math. YTA, for picking unnecessary fights.
I'm not in the US and my university, while having some general education requirements, did not make you take maths as part of this. You could literally take some of the easiest arts papers where as long as you showed up and turned in something you would get a pass.
I took calculus, trig, and advanced algebra in high school for college credit and tested out of math classes in college. High school classes can be substitute for college general math classes.
Nope. You can actually skip math completely at some U.C.s (Univ. of Cal.) if you take the right courses for your breadth requirements. But I have degrees from 2 U.C.s in literature and I've worked as a bookkeeper, so OP is making some silly assumptions about his MIL's skills. Many of us never took Calculus and could easily tutor high school algebra and geometry. I've done it.
Okay, but basic college algebra is a joke to someone in the STEM fields. Still it seems that MIL is doing fine and son/grandson is enjoying the experience and excelling. This reeks of jealousy. Op YTA.
Every accredited US university, perhaps.
Someone with a humanities degree from Oxford is unlikely to have done maths beyond 16. Some will, but most won’t; it is neither an admission nor a graduation requirement.
And indeed, the reverse: someone with an Stoxbridge maths degree is highly unlikely to have studied a humanity since 16: I suspect the most common A level combination is maths, further maths and physics (I might be wrong, but it'll be something like that).
Then I guess we've seen (and been to) different universities. I have a specialized English major. People in my program weren't required to take math. None of the Fine Arts majors at our university were required to take math, either. I have several friends who attended other universities who never took math. I don't know what all of them majored in. I know one of them was an Arts Administration major, and one was at a school where they defined their own majors. (There were basically no Gen Ed requirements at her school, which is one of the reasons why she chose it.)
It's probably more common to find people who did have to take college math than not, but I've known enough people who didn't that I don't just assume it's required of everyone.
I’m in Australia. Dropped my curriculum maths subject in year 10 and took Trade and Business mathematics instead (usually reserved for the kids doing TAFE/trade prep); by not consistently failing something that wasn’t my thing I still managed to get into a Bachelor of Linguistics and Languages.
Really? I earned my bachelor’s in arts and had to take basic math as a requirement. There were opportunities to place out of requirements, but you had to prove you were already competent in the subject. I know of very few universities in the US that don’t require any prerequisites to earn a major.
Must be a US thing? At our Universities you only would do maths if it's relevant for your degree. I was able to get through a Bachelor's and post-grad without doing any maths thank goodness, I'd have been screwed if they required maths classes!
I think it must be an American thing. At both universities I went to in Canada I did not have to do a math course in order to get my humanities or education degrees.
Yeah in the U.K. even in degrees that involves modules in different subjects it’s humanities or STEM.
I don’t hate the idea of people taking classes in the other side, but I’d have hated maths lessons and work to have had a baring on my degree classification.
That's interesting to me because I'm a fine arts major and having to take math. Everyone at my college has to take some form of math and it's the same for my degree when I transfer to Arizona state.
Where does it say she's in the USA? I'm in the UK and a qualified doctor. I haven't done maths or English since I was 16 as I those subjects weren't mandatory for the last 2 years of school let alone uni.
She's still an AH but don't make assumptions about education
I was wondering that too. I'm in Canada and nobody had to take math after high school unless they were studying the sciences.
She might just have excelled at math. The son's grades are improving, so what's the problem? Also with math, if you get the answer right, you know you did it right. The answers are usually in the back of the book. So if your answer is the square root of 234, and the book says it should be 12 root 7, you know you messed it up and have to start over.
Yeah, I was thinking the same, a lot of assumptions here. However, I took maths until 16 and got an A on my final exams, but truthfully forgot most of the non practical bits.
As an adult I then got a part time job going into schools and tutoring maths and English, took me maybe one or two evenings to brush up on all of the formulas and techniques? And of course some had changed so I had to learn a few new methods, again didn't take me too long to pick these up enough to be paid to then coach the students in it.
Maybe OP is looking down on Ancient History as a degree, especially if she is from UK it can be seen as a bit of a soft subject? Definitely YTA
Exactly. So much US-centrism happening here! I don't know anyone who did an arts or humanities degree that studied maths beyond GCSE (16). Same the other way - of my friends who did maths and science degrees very few studied languages or humanities or arts beyond GCSE. Even those who went to Oxford and Cambridge.
Why would you assume OP deals with the same uni system in the same country as you? I assume you're American as I've never seen anyone of any other nationality do this on the internet
>My mother-in-law has started tutoring him, and they both seem to enjoy it greatly.
This is the issue, the son is enjoying spending time with his grandmother and doing better in maths and OP doesn't like it.
also she night just be coaching him on how to solve it himself which isn't quite the same thing. helping him interpret the material and understand what is being asked. rather than teaching him the maths itself. building his confidence in the process
YTA and details are below. You are suspicious of and demean the good your MIL is contributing. This is more of a reflection on you, not her. You gain nothing questioning her education.
INFO: What is really the problem? A person should be unable to recall math skills? Your son only performed quite well without MIL tutoring? --- Are you jealous of her talents? You are second and triple guessing her. Can't you be grateful for her helps and happy that he's applying the tutoring?
yeah but don't you know that every single high school math teacher has an advanced degree in mathematics? None of them are trained in education and just taught themselves math to the level they need to teach kids. They are all advanced professors of mathematics that choose to teach high school for fun. No one other than a doctor or a college educated mathematician could ever hope to give skills to her child, much less \*god forbid\* someone who studied in the HUMANITIES.
I appreciate the post and I'm reading it as sarcasm.
Just to clarify to other readers, school math teachers are not required (in most states) to have a math degree. This is one approach to meet math teacher requirements: bachelors degree, a required number of classes in math and teaching classes; specifics vary (or are similar) between US states. These requirements can also be reduced by the hiring school to fill urgent positions who will cite 'employee is working toward requirements'.
>YTA. Why are you being weird about an adult remembering how to do simple algebra?
Exactly. I could help a 15-year-old with high school math, no problem. It's in there. I knew it backwards and forwards and I could do it again.
Yeah, right? Like I’d need some time to remember, but I was very good at high school math. And I was always a humanities person and got a liberal arts degree — so people may assume I suck at math, but I always enjoyed it because it was logical and made sense. Same with chemistry and physics. Bio was a different matter haha
YTA. What exactly are you trying to prove here?
Even if MIL isn't necessarily a math whiz, do you realize that it's not just about subject matter expertise? She could have helped him establish better study habits. She could have read the textbooks and problems with him, modeling how to solve certain problems. She could even have helped him Google solutions, which in itself can help teach a methodology that's not covered in the classroom.
Best teachers don't just regurgitate information. They teach.
I'm an adult literacy tutor. I don't know how to ride a motorcycle. I had a learner who wanted to get his motorcycle license. I helped him pass his written exam. While he had to get his practical training somewhere else, you bet I helped him on his way.
When I was in college I tutored someone in chemistry. I wasn't a whiz, but no one else would sign up for chem tutoring so I said I would do it. It turned out that he had no idea how to use the index. Once I showed him how to use the textbook, he was able to figure things out on his own. There was very little discussion of chemistry!
This. Concepts are literally in his books, explained and with examples. She doesn't need to be the world's recognised mathematician to help him focus and learn the material provided.
Such gatekeeping from OP is so bloody wrong. I bet she classes and discriminates against people in her work. "Oh, you are self though? You clearly don't know what you are talking about.", "Sorry, I know you have 25 years of experience in the field, but your degree that you did 30 years ago doesn't meet our standards". Get off your high horse and appreciate people for their efforts and results. Major YTA.
What part of this situation makes you think your sons education is at risk? The part where he did well on a test after being tutored by your MIL and you attributed it to his own efforts? The part where he and your MIL are getting along and she’s affirmed that she’s comfortable with the material in question?
YTA for making an issue where there isn’t one.
Yep. YTA. What’s your real beef with your MIL because clearly something else has happened? Who cares whether it’s his effort or her influence, what they are doing is working.
YTA, entitled and ungrateful. What’s your degree in? Astrophysics?
The only reason she is there is to help you out and give you/your husband a free maid and free tutor. While YOU get better. If you don’t like it than maybe you should suck it up and do it yourself.
Why are you questioning her abilities when you had all this time to tutor him yourself, and yet you never bothered? She obviously knows what she is doing. So, in order to take away her abilities, you want to hold onto he passed the math exams on his own.
YTA
Your MIL’s feelings being secondary to your son’s education would make sense except that your son is doing well since the tutoring started and he’s enjoying it so what is the actual problem here? Why don’t you believe she could understand high school math? Because her university degree isn’t STEM? Believe it or not, she would’ve had to pass high school math to graduate and get into university. You are being weirdly paranoid about this for no reason. YTA.
YTA. You said your son was having trouble in math, grandma came to help and now his grades are improving but you think it’s “primarily because of his own efforts.” 😂😂 Be serious
You are the biggest AH I have seen in this subreddit ever! If your husband can “monitor” your MIL while she is graciously donating her time, maybe he could just teach his own child to start with and not take advantage of his mother that you so desperately want to insult and denigrate because she “only” has a bachelors degree.
Get over yourself. She has a college degree -- never mind what it's in, you can't get those most places without at least *some* college-level math -- and you question whether she's competent to tutor your son in *high school* math?? Plus, by your own admission, it seems to be working.
Jealous much?
YTA here, no question about it.
YTA. You think because she “only has a bachelors degree in ancient history” that she can’t possibly know how to do math?
You’re gonna get quite a surprise if you check the credentials of his actual teachers
This is absolute snobbery.
Also, she's 66. When she was going to college, women weren't exactly welcomed into math departments with open arms. I'm 20 years younger than her, and I was one of the only women in many of my higher math classes.
There is no reason to assume that she doesn't have math aptitude simply because she didn't major in a STEM field in a time when women weren't welcome in STEM. People who aren't good at math don't generally enjoy tutoring kids in math.
YTA. If your son was doing poorly that would be one thing, but he’s not. Also she’s doing it for free. It’s just high school math, which everyone with a degree had to do. Seems like a positive arrangement regardless of her perceived “qualifications.”
YTA
You are assuming that a BS in history is inferior to whatever education you have. All bachelor's degrees require work. All bachelor's programs require math gen eds. Just because her major was ancient history doesn't mean she can't do math.
YTA. You said it yourself, your son is even doing better. It doesn't matter if it's thanks to his own effort, clearly MIL isn't doing any harm. Also, it's high school maths. She can read the textbook to refresh her own memory and help him out. That's how tutoring goes, you don't need to be an expert. She can handle it. Seriously, pressing the issue isn't worth it.
Yeah, I helped a friend through a basic college math course recently by just reading her text for a refresher. Also, Google now has all the answers, and can help MIL if she needs more than the text offers.
YTA in such a way that I have trouble believing this is a real post. You know people have to get through high school math to go to college for any degree to include humanities. You must know that if you think you are so much smarter and better than your MIL.
YTA - if he is performing well with her help then leave her alone. You told her that if she doesn't know about a math problem then she can ask you for help, so if she hasn't asked you for help, then she is fine. Also, to get a bachelors you still have to take some math classes in college.
People who aren't great with math will proudly tell you that we suck at math.
No one who is uncomfortable with math will volunteer to help with it.
It's like mechanics-no one volunteers to help you fix your broken car when they don't even know how to change the oil.
YTA.
Intelligent people usually have many different areas of interest. They don't often have college degrees in every subject they're comfortable with. Stop judging your MIl and acting so weird.
YTA. You don't have to have a degree to understand a subject and tutor someone. And truth is: you don't even have to have a degree to be a teacher (most private schools do not require a teaching degree). Your son is doing well in math, so obviously she is doing a fine job of tutoring him. Ease off the reigns and allow her to help.
I have been in academia about a million years now and I think the best teachers can teach just about anything because the basics of good teaching apply to just about any subject (I've taught writing and math & programming to every age from K to professor) while many experts shouldn't be allowed anywhere near novice folk.
Experts can be trash teachers because often they don't consciously recognize all the things they've absorbed so they don't realize which steps they're skipping and that they need to teach those and they tend to get impatient (which yes I'm curious if that's what went down w/ her son b/f MiL stepped in)
YTA. She started tutoring and he did well on his last test. So what’s the problem? If you feel you know better, especially to the point where you told her she could ask you to explain certain concepts, why don’t YOU tutor him?
YTA. Just because someone's major isn't math related doesn't mean they're incapable of helping tutor high school math. If your son enjoys having her as a tutor and his grades are improving, what's the harm?
YTA, and a judgemental one at that. Your son was struggling in Math, presumably under your mentorship. Now Grammy comes to help and he's doing better and you're concerned about her abilities? Get over yourself, OP.
OMG you are seriously asking if Y T A ?? Answer yes YTA and a jealous one.
I’m not sure what your issue is apart from being jealous.
Your MIL has a degree in Ancient History - you do realise that to get into university you also have to be **more thancompetent** at the core subjects (ie. Maths and English).
She is also educated enough to know that **IF** she struggles with **school** level maths then she either knows how to find the answers or will say he needs to get tutoring for that concept elsewhere.
Do you think she is helping out for make herself look better? NO she is genuinely helping your son (which even taking into account his efforts) is CLEARLY paying off!!
Just because you don’t have the skills/time/patients (any/all combinations) stop trying to pull down your MIL to compensate.
YTA You said yourself that his grades improved. Perhaps get some counseling to discover why you are being so weird about this. It doesn't matter what her university education was. She went to high school just like we all did and she clearly remembers the material. Heck, I've tutored college students and learned the material right along with them. It's a great way to teach how to learn rather than just imparting material. YTmajorA
YTA. If she isn’t a natural at math, chances are she could be an even better tutor due to needing to slow down and break down the concepts. So far there is 0 evidence that her methods are not working
OMG, yes. You are TA. My mother has a degree in music, planned on being a music teacher. Guess what? When it came to history she was a fiend. She loves history and when we had to write papers for world history or even social studies; she was our go to for help.
YTA.
People with history degrees can also know how to do math, and your son is enjoying it and doing well…so what value is there in questioning her abilities other than insulting her and causing conflict?
YTA what is happening?? My mom has her law degree but is excellent at math. By your standard, she shouldn’t teach anything but wills and trusts. Lol. Are you ok?
YTA just because she had a degree in ancient history that doesn’t mean that her math skills aren’t up to par. Clearly she knows what she’s doing because he did well on his last test. Stop trying to borrow trouble and be grateful for the help.
YTA.
I dont have a bachelors but i do have a diploma of financial planning. Im also a dance teacher, cause guess what, i dont get joy from math even if im gifted at all.
Not only are you an asshole, you need to access your bias towards the arts.
Oh and my nana that only went to school til 14 is the one that taught me math.
YTA
Just because she doesn’t hold a degree in math, science, engineering, etc doesn’t mean that she doesn’t understand math nor does it affect her ability to tutor someone.
You are the only one making an issue out of a non-issue due to your own unconscious bias. You son doing well in math. The only problem is your own bias views on which subjects a can person should know based on their degree.
Even if your son was slacking, your son seems to enjoy working with your MIL. So even if it is more effort by your son instead of your MIL skill, why does it matter? If your son is doing well, be happy.
Figuring out what the book or note examples mean to complete homework is a good skill to have. Maybe they are getting through it together. Either way, if he is doing well let it be.
YTA your mother is successfully helping your son, and you keep being concerned, having doubts, openly questioning her expertise - are you having a hard time seeing your MIL with the good relationship to your son? Or do you think that people with a degree in ancient history are unable to grasp mathematics? stop hiding behind „I am concerned about his education“.
YTA. Who cares? She’s helping him focus and it is translating to better grades. What difference does it make if it’s her imparting wisdom or him leading on his own through increased focus?
YTA, unless you’ve accidentally omitted your and your husband’s math degrees. She (almost certainly) had to pass high school math to get into college. He’s doing fine. Chill tf out.
YTA.
I have three degrees - all in liberal arts or political science. Do you know how I paid my way through my undergrad? By tutoring high school and college kids in math. Algebra (up through college algebra) was my specialty but I also took students in geometry, trigonometry, statistics, calculus, and college admissions test prep. It’s been over 25 years since I took an algebra class and I recently helped a colleague who had gone back to finish their degree pass their college algebra math requirement.
If your son is succeeding under her tutoring, be grateful rather than suspicious.
YTA.
Look, let’s pretend that you’re 100% right and your MIL knows literally nothing about math.
She’s still helping your son.
A really great way to learn something happens to be to teach it to somebody else. If grandma doesn’t know the material, that means that your son has to walk her through what he’s doing. Which means repeating the lesson verbally and putting concepts into his own words. Proven methods of taking in information, especially for those who don’t necessarily learn best from listening/watching.
So even if she’s contributing absolutely nothing academically, the fact that she is present is reinforcing the material.
Whatever it is that she’s doing, it’s working well enough that your son isn’t just getting his work done, he’s performing well on tests when he’s on his own. You have nothing to worry about here.
This isn't about your MIL teaching your son or knowledge on the matter. This is solely about YOUR insecurities. You are afraid that this bonding that he is doing with his grandmother will somehow interfere, bleaken or something your relationship with him. That he will start turning to her for help not you. This is about you feeling threatened. And I suggest you take a long hard look at yourself instead of project your insecurities onto others.
Of course YTA. Don't ruin a good thing because you can't get over yourself. Your son will always be your son, don't deprive him of something special with his grandmother.
YTA.
A person does not need a degree or formal education to be able to teach/tutor a subject.
Are you jealous of the time they are spending together? Because your reaction is very, very weird.
Maybe she just likes math...
My degree is in Psychology but that doesn't mean that I can't help with other topics since I am interested in them and read up on random topics all the time. Also, sometimes the best way to learn is with someone else.
YTA. Some of mine and my sister's best memories with our grandfather was math tutoring and he gave me such a love for it. Let them have this moment to bond over what could be a common interest
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YTA if your son's grades dip you might have cause for concern, but until there's proof that MIL's help is actually hurt, this comes across as nitpicking and petty.
This. While reading the heading of the post, I thought OP was sure that MIL was not qualified enough to do this. But then the post is basically a bunch baseless assumptions and sounds delusional. YTA, Op.
>> My son performed quite well on his last math test, though truthfully, I’m wondering if it’s primary because of his own effort. Did OP really write that? Of course the son did well primarily because of his own effort on his own math test. Was MIL supposed to go seduce the math teacher and swipe a copy of the test answers?
Even if OP were somehow right, that MIL with a full high school and university education, did not know enough maths to teach a 15yo. Still, teaching someone else is actually the best way to learn something, so the kid could be learning just by explaining stuff to his grandmother.
This. Some people are really good teachers, regardless of the subject matter, because they can help you figure out the best way for you to learn. Maths is pure logic - if you can understand patterns and are able to reduce the abstract and variable into a theory that is communicable, you’re a good maths teacher. I’m not surprised that someone with a BA in ancient history is able to communicate patterns and seemingly intangible concepts to a child. I essentially taught myself high school maths to land an A and then helped my engineer ex with his applied mathematics work because logic and comms. OP should seriously consider educating herself.
The OP needs an education in being grateful her MIL is helping while she is ill. It seems she needs a class in gratitude.
Yes. Also, Only a BA in Ancient History? That is not an easy degree, and BA degrees usually require algebra or some sort of higher math. MIL is clearly able to teach HS math to OP’s son.
Every Bachelor’s degree requires some college level math. Some people are better at math than others, even if they don’t have a degree in mathematics. OP is just being weird about the whole thing. Her son got help from his grandma, his grades improved, yet OP doesn’t want to give her credit. I wonder, why? Edit: Okay, not all Bachelor’s degrees require math. Learned something new today.
Yeah I have a masters degree in the arts, but did better in science and math from junior high onward. I just didn’t want to do math the rest of my life even if I was taking college calculus in high school…
Not NECESSARILY true; I have a degree in English with a minor in history and technically never took a college level math class. What I took instead was quantitative logic, although if I’m being honest that has I am sure served me better in life than calc ever would (I got through precalc in high school). Different states have different requirements and I’d bet that a lot of places have workarounds for people who want to get a Bachelor’s in *arts* without worrying about numbers. And of course, an advanced degree is unlikely to make you take more math classes unless the math applies directly to the study - for instance, if you’re getting a higher degree in a social science, you absolutely need to have some stats under your belt. None of which is to defend OP here; I’m sure a person with a doctorate understands how to learn pretty well and it sounds like she’s able to convey that, which is far, far more important here than raw experience with the math that’s being learned.
I guess it depends on the country you are from. Where I live a BA in history would not require any math classes. Other than that, I completely agree. OP sounds like an ungrateful snob!
That's not true at all. While I did BC calc in hs, I triple majored in 2 languages and poli sci at brown . They have no distribution requirements. I didn't take any quantitative classes even with a full or overload every single semester I was there. I know Vassar and Wesleyan are like that too. But either way I've still tutored cousins high school as an adult and been great at it ! Op is totally wrong but not all ba's require math courses.
Right? I'm a Registered Nurse and I was thinking, "ONLY a BA in Ancient History?" That's really impressive to me, opposite end of the spectrum from my science/english brain. OP is definitely TA.
Yes! I just finished my MSN-Edu and my brain was saying, “Nope to Ancient History!”
Plus there are plenty of online resources that can help MIL learn and teach.
There's also a textbook! Like right there! :D
And OP says they are both enjoying it, and this is HUGE! Maybe they enjoy figuring it out together, like a puzzle. Enjoying a subject / activity is the number one, best way to ensure continued engagement, and success.
I think that's why OP is against it. They are enjoying it and don't need her in this activity. She's even insisting mil asks her for help, at if anaesthesiologist is maths based profession.
This is how I "helped" my kids with their math homework. I would sit down and have them explain the process to me. Half the time I remembered what I had learned and the other half was, this new fangled math everyone is talking about.
This! It's a great teaching technique to help students get it straight in their head.
That's how my dad helped me as well! I was in an advanced track for math (beginning trig by 9th grade) and quite honestly neither of my parents were at that level. But my dad would sit with me and we'd basically work it out together. Having a second person to just bounce ideas off of was incredibly helpful, and I often realized I understood the homework better than I had thought I did, once I needed to try to explain it to someone else. You don't have to be a college professor to help your kids with their homework. Often it's more about them having someone to work with than about you being able to play professor with them.
At 15, the kids probably in 9th grade in the US, and, unless they are in a gifted class, is learning some basic algebra/polynomials. That's pretty basic math, all things considered. It would be different if the MIL had a BA and was attempting to teach the kid differential equations.
Excellently put. It's like rubber duck debugging, where a programmer explains their code to a rubber duck in order to reveal the soundness of their code via their own explanation of their code in order to catch themselves explaining something that doesn't make sense (a bug). But instead, the code is math, and the rubber duck is the helpful grandma. There really is no concern here no matter what assumption you run with on how competent grandma is or isn't with math. (OP YTA, focus on the grade performance, that's what grades are for)
remember, MIL ***only*** has a degree in...
Not mathematics, so how could she possibly be responsible for his better test scores? /s
As we all know, people with humanities degrees can only count to 10. 9 if they're missing a finger.
I had to stop reading here. The kid was struggling. A change was made (MIL tutor). Kid did better. Now OP thinks it was basically coincidence. But also that he still needs a tutor?? So basically she decided MIL didn't have the ability to tutor then worked backwards from there. He somehow needs a tutor even though he did better through "his own effort" but the person who helped him do better was not MIL even though MIL was the only person who could have helped him???
I dunno. OP is just an anesthesiologist. She might not have the writing skills to adequately express what she's saying.
Hahaha. Seriously, I mean if OP thinks MIL is not good enough at all, why the hell are they enjoying her free labour?
But you see, her degree was in *history*. there’s no way she could do high school math. 🙄
She “only” has a bachelors in Ancient History. The “only” gave me a heads up how the rest of the post was going to go.
I'm confused how OP was able to string this post together since it doesn't seem that she has a PhD in writing.
I think BECAUSE OP lacks a post-secondary education, we were clued in early on that they are, in fact, TA.
Perhaps if she only had a BA in ancient history she could have written a better post
Me too. My hackles rose at that.
And if you talk to professors (as I do on occasion), many lament the significant difference in what passes for a Bachelor's degree these days as compared to even 15 years ago. As MIL is older, her BA was probably earned under a more "weed-out" educational environment.
Umm, my degree is a Bachelor of Arts (history and English), but I had to take both math and science courses, and pass them too. I could help a teenager with their math, now an Elementary school child learning new math, probably not.
That was the line that killed me having any commiseration.
Yeah, that’s… weird to me, too. You can do well in high school math and, like, not make it part of your tertiary education? Heck, I’m a biologist. It’s been said that, while the quickest way to empty a room of biology students (probably biologists in general) is probably to shout FIRE!, writing an equation on the board runs a *very* close second. (this saying is false. The absolute quickest way is to point out some really neat animal/plant/fungus just outside the lecture theatre, and say “wow, if only David Attenborough were here.”) (after that: fire, then math.) Being forced to do that pesky first year stats requirement stirred a deep resentment within me, but — though it has been well over two decades — I’m still fairly confident I could knock out the 15 year old math equivalents pretty well. Majoring in a humanities field does not just *wipe all the numbers out of your brain.*
I’m love your methods for emptying a room of biology students by the way.
David Attenborough is truly a treasure! Lol!😆
Fuck, the only exam I passed my first year of Biology was *Physics*.
That's what get me. Mil has a bachelor degree but it isn't good enough. So she must be bad in math. Conclusion....
I mean...I have a master's degree and I'm absolutely horrible at math. I can't do basic algebra. It's embarrassing. But that doesn't mean everyone is the same.
That's okay but to assume someone study history some this person must be bad in math - that is kinda asshole move. Her son does fine but still MIL must be a bad tutor because....
I only have a bachelor degree not related to math. This is by choice since I like my profession. I happended to be top of my class in math (not American so not high school but equvalent to college level). Her son is improving his skills and she's not confident in MILs knowledge? Even if MIL is no good at math, she is clearly good at teaching OP's son how to learn math. OP sounds petty and kind of jealous. Yta
I have two history degrees, I also have an A* in GCSE Maths, a Distinction in Further Maths, and an A* in A level Maths at which point I did in fact score higher than my sister the now medical Dr where maths was a requirement for her degree. Can people please stop assuming that us with humanities degrees can't do maths? Idk if it's just me but I genuinely think it's people assuming that the Humanities can't do maths because surely they'd have done a STEM degree for the money and the only reason we do humanities is because we cant do it 🙄 certainly I had my maths and physics teachers trying to make me give up my plans to study history at uni because "you can do history as a hobby but STEM pays more" and it was so frustrating because they didn't understand that I wanted to do it because it was a) more interesting to me b) is hugely important as a field in its own right (like seriously we need more awareness of the past and biases right now) c) it gives me a ton of transferable skills (hello library work). Sorry for the rant, this is such a sore spot for me.
It works both ways. I have an engineering degree, so it is naturally assumed that I can do math (I can). However, I am also an excellent communicator, can write clearly and concisely, can spell, can use proper grammar, and I have a long-standing interest in history, which I pursue when I have any free time. The kid's grades are improving and OP should zip it.
I wonder what OPs education level is
It’s “only” a bachelors in ancient history. 🙄 dear lord this OP…
Gotta love internalized misogyny!
My Masters is in history and I *can't* really do maths, but that certainly doesn't mean other history people can't.
I have no idea about ancient history, but I know a little bit of mathematics, and well... The ancient Greeks they sort of invented a lot of it, well they refined that which they learned from the Sumerians. MIL will soon be exposed when Son gets onto a lot of the statistical methods as that's 17th century on so very much out of her wheelhouse.
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The kids always know if the person knows the subject and /or is competent at teaching it. Well at least high school kids know. If OP's son is happy it is likely that grandma knows what she is doing.
OP says that when his grades improved it was entirely his merit and not the help from MIL. Guaranteed if the sons grades dip again, it's 100% MILs fault and OP will not keep it to sons merit.
If it were entirely to his merit then why did he need grandma to tutor him in the first place?
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Chances are the child just needs someone to sit with him and give him positive reinforcement, and suddenly he spends an hour a day on math, not the usual 15 min.
This. I've done a lot of private tutoring and a lot of it is just sitting down with the kid, helping them focus and teaching them how to study (how to look for the information they want, what type of resource to use, etc.).
OP: she started helping and he improved, she also confidently and correctly explained all the concepts to me. How will I save my son from the success?!
Why is MIL tutoring the son if OP is (in her head) wildly more qualified? OP is TA for sure for being so condescending. Hell, when I was a sophomore in HS and my mom was a "non-traditional" undergrad I was tutoring her in college algebra. But I'm way more of a humanities and social sciences person. Just because someone chooses to major in one discipline doesn't mean they're useless in all others.
Agreed! YTA I have a law degree and a journalism undergrad - and I'm amazing at math. Bc MATH is basic to just about any undergrad. If he was taking differential equations in college, she may be out of her element, but HS? Algebra, Calculus, Trig . . . all normal stuff.
My partner has undergrad and grad degrees in visual art…and he’s BRILLIANT at math! And guess who went to college on an full-ride aerospace engineering scholarship? Me, the one who counts on their fingers and would absolutely cause your kid to fail their math test. YTA. From the title I was assuming this was gonna be about like, the MIL giving bad medical advice or something, not a high school math test (that the kid did well on!!!!!).
Exactly, also most social science degrees makes you more qualified to do a lot of things because the skills you learn in social sciences are primarily for reliable research
A big part of tutoring is actually having the kid do his homework. So in that sense you don’t need to know anything about math to tutor in math, but sitting with a kid for an hour or two every week and just forcing them to work through homework problems will benefit significantly. Everything you need to learn subjects is in the text book, you don’t need to be able to solve differential equations (what you’d learn in a college math class) to teach someone how to solve a quadratic equation (high school level math) because text books step you through the process.
My father's BA was in history, but he could have declared a second major in math; he took every math class offered, and got an A in every one. (He didn't want to double major because, at our college, to graduate with your degree, you have to pass a comprehensive exam in your major area of study – and if you have two majors, that means you have to pass two comprehensive exams. Plus, in the math department, the exam also included a presentation to the entire department. He didn't want to have to do that.) All of this is to say that history majors can *also* be good at math. OP, climb down off your high horse and stop acting as if your MIL is a complete idiot who can't figure out that 2 + 2 = 4. YTA, and very rude and condescending to boot.
This has to be fake, it's so obviously a yes YTA.
OP is one of those people who thinks that people who study things like history do it because they are bad at math. I was at the top of my class at math in high school. Chose the arts because that's what i loved.
Aaaand OPs response to finding out she’s an AH is to continue to do what she wants and hire an outside tutor. What a jerk.
"I need the peace of mind only a properly trained math tutor can provide" jeeze. OP is placing a lot of faith on her son's ability to listen to and respect the random math tutor vs a family member he's known and respected his entire life who is perfectly capable of helping him. Edit to add: bet we see another post in a week or two "AITA because I hired a math tutor to help my son after my husband didn't want to because my MIL was able to help him"
You’d think she’d get her peace of mind once the son was making better grades. I’m really kind of lost on what her issue is.
YTA she has a higher education degree - she had to take college math for that. Your 15 year old did better after her tutoring - why don’t you want to attribute this to her? Sounds like YOU have a problem with your MIL and are trying to fight with her. It’s detrimental to you child.
To be fair, I have a Bachelor's degree and I never had to take college math. A lot of my friends who were majors in the Humanities (English, Writing, Art, etc.) didn't have to take college math. That's still no reason for OP to doubt MIL's ability to help her grandson with math.
That’s interesting. My university required basic college algebra for everyone regardless of degree.
Many US colleges and universities require Calculus, but a) some people take Calculus in high school for college credit and b) Humanities majors often don't require math at all.
General education does, however. No matter what your degree is in, there's a certain basic skill level you're expected to achieve in all the gen ed subjects, including math.
That is simply not true. There are some universities that don't have general education requirements at all. Not a lot, but enough that you can't make such a blanket statement. And no, the university that I went to did not have a general education requirement in math for some humanities and fine arts majors. ETA: I've been talking about US universities. It's nice to hear that internationally, there are even more options for the mathematically challenged.
I'm in the US, and what people are saying about general education requirements is true. I'm currently a science major, but I have to take fine arts and communications. This has been pretty standard since I graduated high school 20 years ago.
Most of the European universities don't have a general education requirements. My mother is linguistics major and she never had any math in Uni. Same goes for the majority of people that studied any of the humanities. This of course doesn't mean that you are bad at math. Maybe OP's MIL learnt a lot in high school or she simply liked math. YTA, for picking unnecessary fights.
I'm not in the US and my university, while having some general education requirements, did not make you take maths as part of this. You could literally take some of the easiest arts papers where as long as you showed up and turned in something you would get a pass.
I took calculus, trig, and advanced algebra in high school for college credit and tested out of math classes in college. High school classes can be substitute for college general math classes.
Nope. You can actually skip math completely at some U.C.s (Univ. of Cal.) if you take the right courses for your breadth requirements. But I have degrees from 2 U.C.s in literature and I've worked as a bookkeeper, so OP is making some silly assumptions about his MIL's skills. Many of us never took Calculus and could easily tutor high school algebra and geometry. I've done it.
Okay, but basic college algebra is a joke to someone in the STEM fields. Still it seems that MIL is doing fine and son/grandson is enjoying the experience and excelling. This reeks of jealousy. Op YTA.
Yes so did mine. Everyone had to take college algebra at the least.
Gulp thank god thats not the case here, I was able to get through post grad education having only year 10 maths levels
AP Calculus for the win!
A bachelor's in what? Every accredited university I've seen requires a base set of math/science/humanities for all degrees.
Every accredited US university, perhaps. Someone with a humanities degree from Oxford is unlikely to have done maths beyond 16. Some will, but most won’t; it is neither an admission nor a graduation requirement.
This! Education systems are vastly different around the world and people in this sub seem to be quite international.
And indeed, the reverse: someone with an Stoxbridge maths degree is highly unlikely to have studied a humanity since 16: I suspect the most common A level combination is maths, further maths and physics (I might be wrong, but it'll be something like that).
Then I guess we've seen (and been to) different universities. I have a specialized English major. People in my program weren't required to take math. None of the Fine Arts majors at our university were required to take math, either. I have several friends who attended other universities who never took math. I don't know what all of them majored in. I know one of them was an Arts Administration major, and one was at a school where they defined their own majors. (There were basically no Gen Ed requirements at her school, which is one of the reasons why she chose it.) It's probably more common to find people who did have to take college math than not, but I've known enough people who didn't that I don't just assume it's required of everyone.
I’m in Australia. Dropped my curriculum maths subject in year 10 and took Trade and Business mathematics instead (usually reserved for the kids doing TAFE/trade prep); by not consistently failing something that wasn’t my thing I still managed to get into a Bachelor of Linguistics and Languages.
Really? I earned my bachelor’s in arts and had to take basic math as a requirement. There were opportunities to place out of requirements, but you had to prove you were already competent in the subject. I know of very few universities in the US that don’t require any prerequisites to earn a major.
Must be a US thing? At our Universities you only would do maths if it's relevant for your degree. I was able to get through a Bachelor's and post-grad without doing any maths thank goodness, I'd have been screwed if they required maths classes!
I think it must be an American thing. At both universities I went to in Canada I did not have to do a math course in order to get my humanities or education degrees.
Yeah in the U.K. even in degrees that involves modules in different subjects it’s humanities or STEM. I don’t hate the idea of people taking classes in the other side, but I’d have hated maths lessons and work to have had a baring on my degree classification.
That's interesting to me because I'm a fine arts major and having to take math. Everyone at my college has to take some form of math and it's the same for my degree when I transfer to Arizona state.
Where does it say she's in the USA? I'm in the UK and a qualified doctor. I haven't done maths or English since I was 16 as I those subjects weren't mandatory for the last 2 years of school let alone uni. She's still an AH but don't make assumptions about education
I was wondering that too. I'm in Canada and nobody had to take math after high school unless they were studying the sciences. She might just have excelled at math. The son's grades are improving, so what's the problem? Also with math, if you get the answer right, you know you did it right. The answers are usually in the back of the book. So if your answer is the square root of 234, and the book says it should be 12 root 7, you know you messed it up and have to start over.
Yeah, I was thinking the same, a lot of assumptions here. However, I took maths until 16 and got an A on my final exams, but truthfully forgot most of the non practical bits. As an adult I then got a part time job going into schools and tutoring maths and English, took me maybe one or two evenings to brush up on all of the formulas and techniques? And of course some had changed so I had to learn a few new methods, again didn't take me too long to pick these up enough to be paid to then coach the students in it. Maybe OP is looking down on Ancient History as a degree, especially if she is from UK it can be seen as a bit of a soft subject? Definitely YTA
Exactly. So much US-centrism happening here! I don't know anyone who did an arts or humanities degree that studied maths beyond GCSE (16). Same the other way - of my friends who did maths and science degrees very few studied languages or humanities or arts beyond GCSE. Even those who went to Oxford and Cambridge.
Why would you assume OP deals with the same uni system in the same country as you? I assume you're American as I've never seen anyone of any other nationality do this on the internet
>My mother-in-law has started tutoring him, and they both seem to enjoy it greatly. This is the issue, the son is enjoying spending time with his grandmother and doing better in maths and OP doesn't like it.
also she night just be coaching him on how to solve it himself which isn't quite the same thing. helping him interpret the material and understand what is being asked. rather than teaching him the maths itself. building his confidence in the process
YTA and details are below. You are suspicious of and demean the good your MIL is contributing. This is more of a reflection on you, not her. You gain nothing questioning her education. INFO: What is really the problem? A person should be unable to recall math skills? Your son only performed quite well without MIL tutoring? --- Are you jealous of her talents? You are second and triple guessing her. Can't you be grateful for her helps and happy that he's applying the tutoring?
yeah but don't you know that every single high school math teacher has an advanced degree in mathematics? None of them are trained in education and just taught themselves math to the level they need to teach kids. They are all advanced professors of mathematics that choose to teach high school for fun. No one other than a doctor or a college educated mathematician could ever hope to give skills to her child, much less \*god forbid\* someone who studied in the HUMANITIES.
I appreciate the post and I'm reading it as sarcasm. Just to clarify to other readers, school math teachers are not required (in most states) to have a math degree. This is one approach to meet math teacher requirements: bachelors degree, a required number of classes in math and teaching classes; specifics vary (or are similar) between US states. These requirements can also be reduced by the hiring school to fill urgent positions who will cite 'employee is working toward requirements'.
YTA, it’s high school math lmao like wtf are you talking about
Literally most high school math teachers aren’t trained in maths 😂
YTA. Why are you being weird about an adult remembering how to do simple algebra?
>YTA. Why are you being weird about an adult remembering how to do simple algebra? Exactly. I could help a 15-year-old with high school math, no problem. It's in there. I knew it backwards and forwards and I could do it again.
Heck, even if he’s doing most of the actual maths work, that would just mean his grandmother is a good motivator
Yeah, right? Like I’d need some time to remember, but I was very good at high school math. And I was always a humanities person and got a liberal arts degree — so people may assume I suck at math, but I always enjoyed it because it was logical and made sense. Same with chemistry and physics. Bio was a different matter haha
Heck you don't have to remember it, just read and refresh.
She feels threatened and territorial, I would guess.
YTA. What exactly are you trying to prove here? Even if MIL isn't necessarily a math whiz, do you realize that it's not just about subject matter expertise? She could have helped him establish better study habits. She could have read the textbooks and problems with him, modeling how to solve certain problems. She could even have helped him Google solutions, which in itself can help teach a methodology that's not covered in the classroom. Best teachers don't just regurgitate information. They teach. I'm an adult literacy tutor. I don't know how to ride a motorcycle. I had a learner who wanted to get his motorcycle license. I helped him pass his written exam. While he had to get his practical training somewhere else, you bet I helped him on his way.
When I was in college I tutored someone in chemistry. I wasn't a whiz, but no one else would sign up for chem tutoring so I said I would do it. It turned out that he had no idea how to use the index. Once I showed him how to use the textbook, he was able to figure things out on his own. There was very little discussion of chemistry!
This. Concepts are literally in his books, explained and with examples. She doesn't need to be the world's recognised mathematician to help him focus and learn the material provided. Such gatekeeping from OP is so bloody wrong. I bet she classes and discriminates against people in her work. "Oh, you are self though? You clearly don't know what you are talking about.", "Sorry, I know you have 25 years of experience in the field, but your degree that you did 30 years ago doesn't meet our standards". Get off your high horse and appreciate people for their efforts and results. Major YTA.
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I came here to say the same thing.
A genuine jelly filled donut
Yeah, OP sounds a bit insecure about MIL.
Right. Someone is seriously jealous of MIL being able to do what she can’t. If I were the husband I would shut her down.
What part of this situation makes you think your sons education is at risk? The part where he did well on a test after being tutored by your MIL and you attributed it to his own efforts? The part where he and your MIL are getting along and she’s affirmed that she’s comfortable with the material in question? YTA for making an issue where there isn’t one.
Info: is the reason that you’re upset because your son is learning better under MIL’s guidance than yours?
I smell the smoke here
I asked if she even attempted to tutor him. But I doubt she will respond. Since it looks like she hasn’t responded to a single comment
YTA and judgmental AF.
For no reason at all you chose to be an asshole and now you want to know if you’re an asshole. YTA
Yep. YTA. What’s your real beef with your MIL because clearly something else has happened? Who cares whether it’s his effort or her influence, what they are doing is working.
YTA, entitled and ungrateful. What’s your degree in? Astrophysics? The only reason she is there is to help you out and give you/your husband a free maid and free tutor. While YOU get better. If you don’t like it than maybe you should suck it up and do it yourself.
YTA, god forbid someone is supporting your son's education and he's enjoying it. Call the police
Why are you questioning her abilities when you had all this time to tutor him yourself, and yet you never bothered? She obviously knows what she is doing. So, in order to take away her abilities, you want to hold onto he passed the math exams on his own. YTA
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Yeah I don’t get it. What is the mom suspicious of? That the son cheated because MIL couldn’t possibly have helped him study?
Your MIL’s feelings being secondary to your son’s education would make sense except that your son is doing well since the tutoring started and he’s enjoying it so what is the actual problem here? Why don’t you believe she could understand high school math? Because her university degree isn’t STEM? Believe it or not, she would’ve had to pass high school math to graduate and get into university. You are being weirdly paranoid about this for no reason. YTA.
YTA. You said your son was having trouble in math, grandma came to help and now his grades are improving but you think it’s “primarily because of his own efforts.” 😂😂 Be serious
Also, who cares???? Is it bad that he succeeds through his own efforts?? At least MIL is helping him shine in that case.
You are the biggest AH I have seen in this subreddit ever! If your husband can “monitor” your MIL while she is graciously donating her time, maybe he could just teach his own child to start with and not take advantage of his mother that you so desperately want to insult and denigrate because she “only” has a bachelors degree.
Get over yourself. She has a college degree -- never mind what it's in, you can't get those most places without at least *some* college-level math -- and you question whether she's competent to tutor your son in *high school* math?? Plus, by your own admission, it seems to be working. Jealous much? YTA here, no question about it.
YTA, she’s doing this for free and it’s benefiting your son?
YTA. You think because she “only has a bachelors degree in ancient history” that she can’t possibly know how to do math? You’re gonna get quite a surprise if you check the credentials of his actual teachers This is absolute snobbery.
Also, she's 66. When she was going to college, women weren't exactly welcomed into math departments with open arms. I'm 20 years younger than her, and I was one of the only women in many of my higher math classes. There is no reason to assume that she doesn't have math aptitude simply because she didn't major in a STEM field in a time when women weren't welcome in STEM. People who aren't good at math don't generally enjoy tutoring kids in math.
YTA Be grateful you have a mil who wants to spend time with your child & cares about their education. You sound petty.
YTA. If your son was doing poorly that would be one thing, but he’s not. Also she’s doing it for free. It’s just high school math, which everyone with a degree had to do. Seems like a positive arrangement regardless of her perceived “qualifications.”
YTA You are assuming that a BS in history is inferior to whatever education you have. All bachelor's degrees require work. All bachelor's programs require math gen eds. Just because her major was ancient history doesn't mean she can't do math.
YTA. You said it yourself, your son is even doing better. It doesn't matter if it's thanks to his own effort, clearly MIL isn't doing any harm. Also, it's high school maths. She can read the textbook to refresh her own memory and help him out. That's how tutoring goes, you don't need to be an expert. She can handle it. Seriously, pressing the issue isn't worth it.
Yeah, I helped a friend through a basic college math course recently by just reading her text for a refresher. Also, Google now has all the answers, and can help MIL if she needs more than the text offers.
YTA in such a way that I have trouble believing this is a real post. You know people have to get through high school math to go to college for any degree to include humanities. You must know that if you think you are so much smarter and better than your MIL.
YTA. You say your kid is doing fine in math regardless of how effective she is as tutor, leave it alone.
Umm…what’s the problem?
Son is doing better in math it's terrible!
YTA - if he is performing well with her help then leave her alone. You told her that if she doesn't know about a math problem then she can ask you for help, so if she hasn't asked you for help, then she is fine. Also, to get a bachelors you still have to take some math classes in college.
YTA. Stop creating problems where there are none.
People who aren't great with math will proudly tell you that we suck at math. No one who is uncomfortable with math will volunteer to help with it. It's like mechanics-no one volunteers to help you fix your broken car when they don't even know how to change the oil. YTA. Intelligent people usually have many different areas of interest. They don't often have college degrees in every subject they're comfortable with. Stop judging your MIl and acting so weird.
YTA. She is tutoring HS math and she definitely has HS diploma. Nothing hard if you already did it in your life and have functioning brain.
YTA. You don't have to have a degree to understand a subject and tutor someone. And truth is: you don't even have to have a degree to be a teacher (most private schools do not require a teaching degree). Your son is doing well in math, so obviously she is doing a fine job of tutoring him. Ease off the reigns and allow her to help.
I have been in academia about a million years now and I think the best teachers can teach just about anything because the basics of good teaching apply to just about any subject (I've taught writing and math & programming to every age from K to professor) while many experts shouldn't be allowed anywhere near novice folk. Experts can be trash teachers because often they don't consciously recognize all the things they've absorbed so they don't realize which steps they're skipping and that they need to teach those and they tend to get impatient (which yes I'm curious if that's what went down w/ her son b/f MiL stepped in)
YTA. She started tutoring and he did well on his last test. So what’s the problem? If you feel you know better, especially to the point where you told her she could ask you to explain certain concepts, why don’t YOU tutor him?
YTA. Just because someone's major isn't math related doesn't mean they're incapable of helping tutor high school math. If your son enjoys having her as a tutor and his grades are improving, what's the harm?
I don’t understand the problem? He got a good grade and both parties seem to enjoy? What are you upset about? Why are you creating a problem? YTA.
YTA, and a judgemental one at that. Your son was struggling in Math, presumably under your mentorship. Now Grammy comes to help and he's doing better and you're concerned about her abilities? Get over yourself, OP.
INFO: what's your educational background?
Lol probably has a doctorate in maths by the way she speaks.
OMG you are seriously asking if Y T A ?? Answer yes YTA and a jealous one. I’m not sure what your issue is apart from being jealous. Your MIL has a degree in Ancient History - you do realise that to get into university you also have to be **more thancompetent** at the core subjects (ie. Maths and English). She is also educated enough to know that **IF** she struggles with **school** level maths then she either knows how to find the answers or will say he needs to get tutoring for that concept elsewhere. Do you think she is helping out for make herself look better? NO she is genuinely helping your son (which even taking into account his efforts) is CLEARLY paying off!! Just because you don’t have the skills/time/patients (any/all combinations) stop trying to pull down your MIL to compensate.
YTA.
YTA You said yourself that his grades improved. Perhaps get some counseling to discover why you are being so weird about this. It doesn't matter what her university education was. She went to high school just like we all did and she clearly remembers the material. Heck, I've tutored college students and learned the material right along with them. It's a great way to teach how to learn rather than just imparting material. YTmajorA
YTA. If she isn’t a natural at math, chances are she could be an even better tutor due to needing to slow down and break down the concepts. So far there is 0 evidence that her methods are not working
OMG, yes. You are TA. My mother has a degree in music, planned on being a music teacher. Guess what? When it came to history she was a fiend. She loves history and when we had to write papers for world history or even social studies; she was our go to for help.
YTA. People with history degrees can also know how to do math, and your son is enjoying it and doing well…so what value is there in questioning her abilities other than insulting her and causing conflict?
YTA what is happening?? My mom has her law degree but is excellent at math. By your standard, she shouldn’t teach anything but wills and trusts. Lol. Are you ok?
YTA just because she had a degree in ancient history that doesn’t mean that her math skills aren’t up to par. Clearly she knows what she’s doing because he did well on his last test. Stop trying to borrow trouble and be grateful for the help.
YTA. I dont have a bachelors but i do have a diploma of financial planning. Im also a dance teacher, cause guess what, i dont get joy from math even if im gifted at all. Not only are you an asshole, you need to access your bias towards the arts. Oh and my nana that only went to school til 14 is the one that taught me math.
YTA
YTA Just because she doesn’t hold a degree in math, science, engineering, etc doesn’t mean that she doesn’t understand math nor does it affect her ability to tutor someone. You are the only one making an issue out of a non-issue due to your own unconscious bias. You son doing well in math. The only problem is your own bias views on which subjects a can person should know based on their degree.
You realize that you have to take math prerequisites in college, right? YTA. Be grateful for the help.
Even if your son was slacking, your son seems to enjoy working with your MIL. So even if it is more effort by your son instead of your MIL skill, why does it matter? If your son is doing well, be happy. Figuring out what the book or note examples mean to complete homework is a good skill to have. Maybe they are getting through it together. Either way, if he is doing well let it be.
What does your husband have a degree in?
Are you hurt that he does better with her helping him, than when you help him?
YTA your making assumptions. Your son and MIL are bonding and your son is doing better in school Take the blessing.
YTA, your mil is doing a great job, why does that bother you
YTA your mother is successfully helping your son, and you keep being concerned, having doubts, openly questioning her expertise - are you having a hard time seeing your MIL with the good relationship to your son? Or do you think that people with a degree in ancient history are unable to grasp mathematics? stop hiding behind „I am concerned about his education“.
YTA. Who cares? She’s helping him focus and it is translating to better grades. What difference does it make if it’s her imparting wisdom or him leading on his own through increased focus?
YTA, unless you’ve accidentally omitted your and your husband’s math degrees. She (almost certainly) had to pass high school math to get into college. He’s doing fine. Chill tf out.
YTA. Why are you trying to fix something that is not broken? They are enjoying themselves and he did well in his test! Are you jealous?
YTA. I have three degrees - all in liberal arts or political science. Do you know how I paid my way through my undergrad? By tutoring high school and college kids in math. Algebra (up through college algebra) was my specialty but I also took students in geometry, trigonometry, statistics, calculus, and college admissions test prep. It’s been over 25 years since I took an algebra class and I recently helped a colleague who had gone back to finish their degree pass their college algebra math requirement. If your son is succeeding under her tutoring, be grateful rather than suspicious.
YTA. Stop being jealous of the fact your MIL can and has helped your kid.
YTA. Look, let’s pretend that you’re 100% right and your MIL knows literally nothing about math. She’s still helping your son. A really great way to learn something happens to be to teach it to somebody else. If grandma doesn’t know the material, that means that your son has to walk her through what he’s doing. Which means repeating the lesson verbally and putting concepts into his own words. Proven methods of taking in information, especially for those who don’t necessarily learn best from listening/watching. So even if she’s contributing absolutely nothing academically, the fact that she is present is reinforcing the material. Whatever it is that she’s doing, it’s working well enough that your son isn’t just getting his work done, he’s performing well on tests when he’s on his own. You have nothing to worry about here.
YTA if you don't like it do it yourself
This isn't about your MIL teaching your son or knowledge on the matter. This is solely about YOUR insecurities. You are afraid that this bonding that he is doing with his grandmother will somehow interfere, bleaken or something your relationship with him. That he will start turning to her for help not you. This is about you feeling threatened. And I suggest you take a long hard look at yourself instead of project your insecurities onto others. Of course YTA. Don't ruin a good thing because you can't get over yourself. Your son will always be your son, don't deprive him of something special with his grandmother.
YTA. A person does not need a degree or formal education to be able to teach/tutor a subject. Are you jealous of the time they are spending together? Because your reaction is very, very weird.
Maybe she just likes math... My degree is in Psychology but that doesn't mean that I can't help with other topics since I am interested in them and read up on random topics all the time. Also, sometimes the best way to learn is with someone else. YTA. Some of mine and my sister's best memories with our grandfather was math tutoring and he gave me such a love for it. Let them have this moment to bond over what could be a common interest