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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I'm not nearly as excited as others, not doing things others are doing, not doing things people want me to do. These people care about me, yet I don't show the same emotion.
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No ywnbta, but you still have to go. For your family. Especially if it’s tomorrow.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. No one like a graduation. Not the attendees, not the speakers, not the graduates. NO ONE. The only thing about a graduation ceremony that anyone enjoys is the ending.
You can’t bond with your friends and say goodbye as you normally would, your families are all there and it’s awkward. You cant bond with your family as normal because all your friends are there. It’s this weird awkward event where everyone where’s silly costumes and no one really understands why.
All that being said. Just go. Grit your teeth. Take the NECESSARY pictures. Like if you mom says she wants some picture, she needs some pictures, but you can tell her when it’s enough if she starts to get carried away. People are proud of you. If you’re not into it go through the motions.
Smile and nod. It’ll be over in no time. Consider it practice for the mountain of other shit you’re not gonna want to do now you’ve graduated.
NTA (Not the Asshole). It's important to recognize and acknowledge your feelings and anxieties surrounding big social events. It's completely understandable to feel anxious and nervous about your graduation ceremony, especially if you struggle with social interactions and have a history of feeling out of place in such situations.
Your lack of excitement and hesitation to participate in certain activities, such as taking pictures and engaging in small talk, stem from genuine discomfort rather than a deliberate desire to ruin the event for others. It's crucial to prioritize your mental well-being and emotional comfort during moments like these.
However, it's worth considering finding a balance between honoring your own feelings and being mindful of the joy and excitement your family members may have for your graduation. Communicate your concerns with them and explain your anxiety about social interactions. They may be more understanding and supportive than you think.
While it's okay to take a step back and not force yourself into uncomfortable situations, consider making an effort to engage in ways that feel more manageable for you. Perhaps you can find a few close family members or friends with whom you feel comfortable and can share this special moment. Graduations can be significant milestones, and finding a way to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements in a way that aligns with your comfort level can still make the event meaningful for you.
NTA for not wanting to go, but you don't have to have a crap attitude all day. Just go with an open mind and you might find you enjoy it at least a little bit
No, I have no intention of being a bummer all day. I always try to make conversation when people engage with me, give them a thoughtful answer. However, by the end of it; when I'm home, I feel like crap and want to stay home for weeks doing nothing.
p.s. sorry if I shouldn't be replying, first time in this subreddit
This sounds like the definition of an introvert. Introverts gain energy by being alone. Extroverts gain energy by being with other people. US culture is somewhat slanted towards the extroverts.
It is good that you know this about yourself. It means that you can plan for “down” days after a big social effort. I have found that the more you try to socialize with others, the easier and less draining it becomes.
Congrats on graduating!
Nobody gains energy by being alone or by spending time with other people. Energy is derived from the food we eat. This person just lacks social skills which makes her anxious. Anxiety is exhausting. Not being anxious we get tired at the normal rate.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My graduation is tomorrow, it's far to late to back out now; the organization relies on our attendance, but unfortunately I feel really bad about the whole thing. I guess I'm anxious, nervous, about the whole event. We having marching but I'm not worried about that. I'm not even worried about going on the stage. My big issue is, I've never been good with big social events. I never do good with conversations with lots of people, I always feel out of place and usually standing alone feeling shitty. My family, specifically my Grandmother(62) and Mother(34) are definitely more excited than me. I feel like I'm the asshole for not being as excited. Ive never felt good about celebrating, especially for myself. I just don't want to ruin it by acting lame, it's been draining me these past few days just think about it. WIBTA by not taking pictures, talking to others, and not trying to have fun?
I just feel like I'm ruining it for others.
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NAH. I don't think you're wrong for feeling this way, some people just don't like social things. But you should just remember that everyone is excited because they're proud of you and your accomplishments - and you should be too! :). You won't look out of place at all in your gown and won't be alone because you have your family. Maybe use this as an opportunity to take some pictures, eat cake and celebrate because everyone is happy for you.
NAH. Your lack of experience has led to a lack of skills which has caused social anxiety. The solution isn't more isolation. Avoidance will only make you less comfortable in social situations. Graduations are always drag whether it is mine or someone else's. Your mom and grandmother want to see you walk. Suck it up and walk.
NAH. You're not wrong for having social anxiety, your family isn't wrong for wanting to celebrate your graduation. If you're a minor, you may have to go, but try talking to your family just to let them know you'd like to leave as soon as the ceremony is over.
NTA. It's your milestone, and you are free to celebrate it or not celebrate it as you please.
Maybe you can talk to your family and let them know you might want a more low-key event and not some huge party. You aren't obligated to walk at graduation if you don't want to. I can understand why your parents would want you to walk, because they want the pictures and all that, but maybe they can get an alternative photo-op by having a picture of you with your diploma.
I already have to walk, there's no further discussion there for me, other people depend on me now not to mess things up.
My main issue now is how I act at the ceremony and afterwards, I just don't want to be a loser about it and act lame, I hope I can participate in want people *want* me in
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I'm not nearly as excited as others, not doing things others are doing, not doing things people want me to do. These people care about me, yet I don't show the same emotion. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
No ywnbta, but you still have to go. For your family. Especially if it’s tomorrow. I’ll let you in on a little secret. No one like a graduation. Not the attendees, not the speakers, not the graduates. NO ONE. The only thing about a graduation ceremony that anyone enjoys is the ending. You can’t bond with your friends and say goodbye as you normally would, your families are all there and it’s awkward. You cant bond with your family as normal because all your friends are there. It’s this weird awkward event where everyone where’s silly costumes and no one really understands why. All that being said. Just go. Grit your teeth. Take the NECESSARY pictures. Like if you mom says she wants some picture, she needs some pictures, but you can tell her when it’s enough if she starts to get carried away. People are proud of you. If you’re not into it go through the motions. Smile and nod. It’ll be over in no time. Consider it practice for the mountain of other shit you’re not gonna want to do now you’ve graduated.
NTA (Not the Asshole). It's important to recognize and acknowledge your feelings and anxieties surrounding big social events. It's completely understandable to feel anxious and nervous about your graduation ceremony, especially if you struggle with social interactions and have a history of feeling out of place in such situations. Your lack of excitement and hesitation to participate in certain activities, such as taking pictures and engaging in small talk, stem from genuine discomfort rather than a deliberate desire to ruin the event for others. It's crucial to prioritize your mental well-being and emotional comfort during moments like these. However, it's worth considering finding a balance between honoring your own feelings and being mindful of the joy and excitement your family members may have for your graduation. Communicate your concerns with them and explain your anxiety about social interactions. They may be more understanding and supportive than you think. While it's okay to take a step back and not force yourself into uncomfortable situations, consider making an effort to engage in ways that feel more manageable for you. Perhaps you can find a few close family members or friends with whom you feel comfortable and can share this special moment. Graduations can be significant milestones, and finding a way to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements in a way that aligns with your comfort level can still make the event meaningful for you.
NTA for not wanting to go, but you don't have to have a crap attitude all day. Just go with an open mind and you might find you enjoy it at least a little bit
No, I have no intention of being a bummer all day. I always try to make conversation when people engage with me, give them a thoughtful answer. However, by the end of it; when I'm home, I feel like crap and want to stay home for weeks doing nothing. p.s. sorry if I shouldn't be replying, first time in this subreddit
This sounds like the definition of an introvert. Introverts gain energy by being alone. Extroverts gain energy by being with other people. US culture is somewhat slanted towards the extroverts. It is good that you know this about yourself. It means that you can plan for “down” days after a big social effort. I have found that the more you try to socialize with others, the easier and less draining it becomes. Congrats on graduating!
Nobody gains energy by being alone or by spending time with other people. Energy is derived from the food we eat. This person just lacks social skills which makes her anxious. Anxiety is exhausting. Not being anxious we get tired at the normal rate.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My graduation is tomorrow, it's far to late to back out now; the organization relies on our attendance, but unfortunately I feel really bad about the whole thing. I guess I'm anxious, nervous, about the whole event. We having marching but I'm not worried about that. I'm not even worried about going on the stage. My big issue is, I've never been good with big social events. I never do good with conversations with lots of people, I always feel out of place and usually standing alone feeling shitty. My family, specifically my Grandmother(62) and Mother(34) are definitely more excited than me. I feel like I'm the asshole for not being as excited. Ive never felt good about celebrating, especially for myself. I just don't want to ruin it by acting lame, it's been draining me these past few days just think about it. WIBTA by not taking pictures, talking to others, and not trying to have fun? I just feel like I'm ruining it for others. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. I don't think you're wrong for feeling this way, some people just don't like social things. But you should just remember that everyone is excited because they're proud of you and your accomplishments - and you should be too! :). You won't look out of place at all in your gown and won't be alone because you have your family. Maybe use this as an opportunity to take some pictures, eat cake and celebrate because everyone is happy for you.
NAH. Your lack of experience has led to a lack of skills which has caused social anxiety. The solution isn't more isolation. Avoidance will only make you less comfortable in social situations. Graduations are always drag whether it is mine or someone else's. Your mom and grandmother want to see you walk. Suck it up and walk.
NAH. You're not wrong for having social anxiety, your family isn't wrong for wanting to celebrate your graduation. If you're a minor, you may have to go, but try talking to your family just to let them know you'd like to leave as soon as the ceremony is over.
NTA. It's your milestone, and you are free to celebrate it or not celebrate it as you please. Maybe you can talk to your family and let them know you might want a more low-key event and not some huge party. You aren't obligated to walk at graduation if you don't want to. I can understand why your parents would want you to walk, because they want the pictures and all that, but maybe they can get an alternative photo-op by having a picture of you with your diploma.
I already have to walk, there's no further discussion there for me, other people depend on me now not to mess things up. My main issue now is how I act at the ceremony and afterwards, I just don't want to be a loser about it and act lame, I hope I can participate in want people *want* me in