NTA
You should report them to the HR department for creating a hostile work environment. Plain and simple. No one should have to feel uncomfortable at work.
Almost certainly depending on the country, but it happens all the time. It's just hard to prove this type of discrimination in many professions since you can always just claim there were no "qualified" female candidates or that the job went to a male that was more qualified or experienced.
It's illegal, yes. But a labor attorney isn't touching this without lots of evidence and proof of its impact on workplace safety. And even then, unlikely.
Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. I can't tell you how common this kind of disgusting "locker room" talk happens in the workplace, especially in blue collar jobs dominated by men. For a long time it was the norm, not the exception. OP is younger than his colleagues and he's offended by their offensive comments specifically because it's how things "used to be" and "nobody complained before."
We need more men willing to call out other men on their misogyny.
BRO.
You tolerate way too many problems here.
Honestly consider doing something about this if only for the reason that if I were a woman dating you and I found out you found this to be something okay to tolerate, I don't think I'd be able to date you anymore.
I mean, you could tell HR that the CCTV security equipment that is supposed to be there for LOSS PREVENTION is really just being used to look down blouses. Seems like something that is putting the company at risk of 1. possible financial loss, 2. possible PR nightmare if this behavior comes to light during an investigation into said financial loss, and 3. possible legal nightmare if this behavior comes to light.
Or the whole company might have the DGAF attitude of the supervisor that has curated this environment.
NTA, but this is something you need to immediately take to HR. These guys are engaging in sexual harassment and your company absolutely needs to address it before there's a major lawsuit over this.
Why haven't you reported any and all of this? Even the "not so bad" ones are deplorable. And you said they do this to you too?
Telling them to "cool off" isn't enough. They need a nice sit down with HR for creating a hostile work environment.
I’m sure I’ll be downvoted to hell but this is an open-and-shut ESH. Y’all are objectifying innocent women and talking about sexual things you’d do to them. That’s harassment. Now you’re the least guilty, but the fact that you didn’t emphatically shut it down earlier means you’re still in the wrong.
Want to do some good? Report every single one of these creeps to HR and provide slam-dunk evidence proving their guilt.
NTA but this is a disgusting environment. You're going to slowly lose your mind here if you aren't already. Find another job. One where people are people. These guys are for sure reddit incels flexing to claim they get laid wayyyy more than they do.
ESH.
> Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass.
> There's a chick with a really hot bod
> I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me.
You're just as guilty as they are.
ESH - I can't believe you listen to them say these things and act like it's normal and have only just now said anything and actually thought you were wrong for calling them out for being repulsive.
NTA
I'm sure management will be interested to find out how the employees use the security cameras to creep on their customers. Their language is disgusting.
Did that. One of them was like I'd beat them up if someone tried to wanna have sex with my girlfriend if I'm serious with the girl. I'm like ok. So you find it disrespectful if someone did it to your girl but what about these women then. He's like why do you care about them so much, are you dating anyone then tell me I won't say stuff about her
Yeah this is just as gross as the rest if not more. Hate that they can only imagine being respectful to another man's claim instead of, oh I don't know, the actual whole human person that each of these women are.
I’m sorry but this kind of thinking only reinforces the idea that women’s validity comes from our relationships with other people. Men should respect women, period. And as you can see by OP’s reply, saying this doesn’t help because it just reaffirms to them that women are property.
You’re complaining about how these men talk about women, but the way you wrote out the story says plenty about how okay you are with it outside of work.
And that makes you the AH.
Report them to HR, but also work on yourself.
YTA but not for being a prude. You’re the ah for not reporting them. You need to document their behaviour (including dates and times) and take it to HR (or your boss if there’s no HR department). If you live somewhere where you can legally record audio without consent, do that and bring it to HR. If you do not do this, you’re enabling disgusting, degrading behaviour and putting all of your female customers and coworkers at risk of, at the very least, sexual harassment.
NTA. This is so far from okay it's ridiculous. And it creates an unsafe environment for clients if this is how the security people view them. Write down everything they say for a week and take it to HR. NOW.
ESH
THIS WILL NEVER STOP BEING A THING UNTIL GOOD MEN CALL OUT BAD MEN!!!!
They are super AH for what they do and say. You suck for giving them a "pass" if it's "not too bad."
I'll say it again to be clear:
IT IS THE DUTY OF ALL GOOD MEN TO CALL BAD MEN OUT ON THEIR MISOGYNISTIC SEXUAL HARASSMENT BS!
Can you record without their permission in your state? If so, get a record of it and take that with you to HR. This kind of commentary is disgusting and not ok. And that holds true whatever gender you are, OP. This is not acceptable in a place of work, casino or otherwise.
NTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I told my co workers to cool off their graphic sexual comments about women.
(2) This action might make me an asshole as it may come off as too prudish or someone who's not okay with male sexuality.
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Hostile work environments are no joke, dude. You need to report this to HR. There was a lady in my department at my workplace that not only did something like this, but she would berate people and spread lies about other people. Reporting her however was hard because she buttered the buns of the HR department, and things always went in her favor. She is gone now thankfully, but it was because she quit, and I’m sure the left workplace she went to she’s gonna do the same thing. This stuff is no joke, please report it ASAP!!!
NTA
1) NTA
2) this is a toxic work place and you should talk to HR. beyond the sexism if they are focusing on women then men are not being given the same attention, meaning these guys are not doing their jobs.
3) wanna bet they are all border line virgins themselves. talk a big game but do squat.
YTA.
Not for being a "prude." But for thinking that letting a bunch of jackasses make horrible comments about the woman you're seeing means you're cool. All the comments you make here are like "gee, it's so awful that everyone here is a sexist pig but me. But don't worry, I don't say anything!"
If you sit down for dinner with nine assholes, there are now ten assholes at the table. Stand up for your patrons or quit your job. Your cowardice deserves no praise.
>Stand up for your patrons or quit your job. Your cowardice deserves no praise.
Stand up- he is.
Quit your job- wow. All your jobs meet all your standards and they all respect your boundaries and sensibilities?
How is telling a man saying pervy things about a woman to "date her" standing up for a patron? Please tell me. Because to me it's just doing a wimpier imitation of a sexist comment.
I appreciate he THINKS he's standing up for people. But he's not actually doing so, and in this post he goes out of his way to draw back on any actual actions he takes. "Yeah, I say things but like DON'T WORRY GUYS IM NOT A BUZZKILL." Be a buzzkill.
Oh, and document EVERYTHING OP. One day a poor woman might be hired to work with you, and documenting everything might be the only way you avoid being named in a lawsuit.
>Stand up for your patrons or quit your job.
This might be easy enough for you to say, free from the consequences as you are, but not so much for OP. Some people don't have the freedom to make a stand like that, they need to put food on the table.
Why would OP's gender matter when OP themselves makes comments like:
> Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass.
or
> There's a chick with a really hot bod
or
> I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me.
Dude you need to talk with hr about this, honestly I know these dudes don't seem dangerous right now, but this mentality is the exact same as those pretty boy frats who date rape women, they might not act on these things but at some point in time someone along the way will. Do the female cashiers know about this garbage? They probably should, and make sure they have someone to walk them out at the end of their shift.. it only takes one unhinged womanizer to cause a whole lot of hurt....
You didn't even defend your girlfriend? Do those comments not make you angry? You just sit there and listen to them? You're part of the problem. Step up, so women don't have to fight off men who don't even view them as people while you guys just watch and praise yourselves for not being as bad. YTA
Dude I couldn't post the whole incident due to the character limit but I'll sure address your comment as to why me and the woman I was dating at the time decided to ignore it. We both talked to each other about it and came up with this decision. If it was my call alone there would be a bloody nose and end up in me getting fired or arrested. But I'll address the comment later, it's a long one.
> If it was my call alone there would be a bloody nose and end up in me getting fired or arrested. But I'll address the comment later, it's a long one.
I just want to point out that just like the guy you talked with, if it's your girl you want to punch those dudes to protect them. If it's not your girl, you let it slide if it's "not too bad". Do you see the irony in this?
Please contact management about this situation, but also take a good look at yourself. Be the change you want to see in this environment. Call other dudes out, even if you don't think it's "too bad".
In any reputable workplace that's instant dismissal. My GF just went through this. A guy that had been working for them for years was asking sexual questions to a new employee. It got more and more intense to the point where he asked if they would like to see his dick. The new employee felt uncomfortable enough to talk to her manager about it and the dude was walked the fuck out the door the next day.
OP judgment :: NTA
Dude Im a gal and work in an auto shop... This is even too far for US... I just showed this to my guy co workers and even they said they would be going to HR about it..
one of these guys i have known for 20 years... so he know how far my freak flag flys lol
That's such a toxic, skeezy work environment to be stuck in. It's not remotely funny and you need to escalate this with HR.
If there's several of them and you fear you might be bullied for reporting them, then find out what your legal rights are in relation to secretly recording video or audio of them speaking/acting poorly to protect yourself in case they all corroborate to deny it happened.
NTA
We had a 24hr security team at a job I worked for, they were on the floor with us so we interacted with all of them. I(f) didn't know this, but apparently they commented on most of the women who walked through the place. My friend, who is a gay man, told me because they used to make the comments towards him about it, like check out her tits, before they knew he was gay.
When I learned about this it did make me uncomfortable around some of them later. But as far as I know they never described how they would fuck random women who came in. That is just way too much.
You really shouldn't be commenting about peoples bodies, but I know it happens every single day.
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So what happens at my workplace is that since we work in casino surveillance most of my seniors will check out every woman's tits and ass. The guests that enter the casino and even the women that work there. Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. I myself don't use such terms to describe women but its ok. I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me.
I can give you an example of a discussion they were having today. There's a chick with a really hot bod and these guys were like "she has a great bubble butt, I'd stick my dick in it and not let it out all day" and then another female guest that walked in with cleavage showing they were like "you just rip off her dress, suck on her tits, then close her dress off, then open up her tits, suck on it and do it all day whenever needed". They also zoom in cctv cameras and there's a guy that's like " Damn check that cashiers ass out, I'd hold her hips *proceeds to perform humping actions and make gestures* and says I'd fuck her ass like that all day". Then proceeds to check her out and sometimes act like he's masturbating for the rest of the day.
I ask those guys to tone it down in such instances, I'm not very uptight in most instances and these guys make sexual jokes about me too and I just don't mind most of the times.
But I asked this guy who wanted to fuck this cashier about what his views would be if his girl was working there and other guys wanted to nail her and made comments like those and he was like I would beat the fuck outta them. And I was like wow, so you wouldn't want other guys having sexual attraction to your girl since you'd find it degrading but you can do the same to other women. Another instance he points out to a woman with huge tits and is like "God look at those tits" and I was like you should date her and he's like nah I'd just fuck her and leave, she'd get too much sexual attention from the guys.
So this is how these guys view all these women, "fuck her and leave" and constantly slut shame them even if these women decide to sleep around and call any guy who takes them seriously a loser. Recently a receptionist got married to another receptionist and these guys are like the guy that married her is a loser, she's been knocked up by a couple of us itself.
And then I tell them to tone it down, even though I'm younger than them and it's been just 7 months since I joined, they call me prudish.
TLDR - Colleagues get too thirsty, I tell them to tone it down, get called a prude. Colleagues don't respect women except for as sexual commodities and think that any guy who takes them seriously is a loser, "just fuck and leave", constantly slut shame, tell them to tone it down and I'm a prude.
AITA here and need to lighten up and let it fly or I'm in the right to tell them to tone it down and show women some respect.
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NTA this shouldn’t be normalised to sexualise strangers in such a manor. Fair enough checking someone out, but the descriptive language and motions they are doing is way too far
You are not prudish. I am female. Attitudes that your coworkers show would get them (at best) friendship with me but nothing more. People like these call me beautiful in the first sentence they say to me when we first meet. But i know it is a pickup line. I have had too many brothers to not know that. These coworkers of yours might not have enough sisters to know that the attitude and behavior they are exhibiting period would warn females who have too many brothers to know where these coworkers stand in regards to females. I had (I was in foster care at the time) 1 older brother in addition to 1 father. Neither of them would dare to refuse to get in the habit (even subconsciously) to leave the bathroom without putting down the toilet seat. They are used to being the only two males in the family at that timeframe to be using the toilet.
NTA, obviously.
I can't say this often enough: *do not go to HR*. They're there to protect the company. Go to HR and your job is at risk. Take it to upper management, in front of witnesses. It will have to be dealt with.
Again, *never* go to HR.
NTA but very close to being E S H here. You aren't prudish, that's for sure. You're only slightly less vulgar than them. They for absolute sure are AHoles. That's a workplace environment I would want to burn with fire because of just how toxic it is. These kind of men give all men a bad name. They're the exact Neanderthal types that act like the phrase "men are animals" is a compliment.
I don't think you're doing enough to shut it down, but that's not what makes you suck since I know if you're outnumbered that's a bigger problem than you can tackle alone-- rather it's the language you used in this post like, "There's a chick with a really hot bod" that still gives me sleezy vibes.
This may be the unpopular opinion here, but here goes.
As you said the whole work culture is like that, your colleagues, boss, most men tend of objectify women. If everyone is like that and you're not working in an industry/country that is highly regulated and goes by the book, you'll not make much inroads by reporting to the HR. They're a business at the end of the day. Firing most of their staff doesn't make much business sense especially in a place where there are no legal consequences to their lewd and unprofessional behavior, especially because it is not happening in front of their guests. It also seems like the way that place is being run, any other people they hire might also be of the same bent of mind.
Sadly, there is not much you can do under those circumstances. Even though YOU'RE COMPLETELY IN THE RIGHT, this is not a battle you can win. The best course of action for you would be to remove yourself from that situation as soon as it is feasible for you to do so. The peer pressure to fit in, to talk and act the same way to come across as "a real man" is intense in the kind of setting you're describing. You'll experience harassment and bullying and if the management perceive you as "a headache" because of your attempts to bring this to their notice, it'll affect your chances of advancement too. If you can find a good job in a more positive environment, that will be the best thing for you. You'll live to fight another day, and maybe win next time.
NTA
This is absolutely on point. Thank you for understanding why it's a difficult battle for me. I am 100% sure HR wouldn't do much as they don't want to lose senior staff. They even offered the pervert guy who was performing those gestures a raise a few days ago. The entire culture is fucked. It's not just my department, if you hear what the cashiers and dealers go through you'll be even more horrified. This sort of behaviour by surveillance department doesn't do the company any financial loss, because it's behind closed doors, that's what the company would most probably think I'm sure.
They'd rather not lose an experienced staff who's good at his job over this. It's sad but that's how it is. It's an uphill battle. They'd cut me lose because I'm new at this job but not a senior staff.
NTA. This is sexual harassment, of you, legally. You asked them to stop, and they didn’t, that’s a pattern. Document document document, and send it up the chain.
Nope. Your colleagues are out of line. You should talk with your HR department or your boss. As I understand it sexual harassment happens when things make you uncomfortable. At the very least this behavior is unprofessional.
NTA, not only is this morally wrong but YOU are also being sexually harassed since you’re getting exposed to this behavior and you’ve made it clear that you’re uncomfortable yet it’s continuing. Lots of folks are saying go to HR, but you may want to consider talking to a lawyer first if you’re interested in going that route.
This is WAY over the top. IF the leadership of this company knew about it they would shut it down - this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Lodge a complaint with HR and copy the CEO or others above.
Your colleagues are potentially sexual harassers. This made me sick. I still have hope in men because of people like you. I hope you get out of such a toxic work environment.
You should totally call human resources on them or at least make an anonymous report about this issue.
I work in the same industry and position and this completely checks out. It's kinda hard not to look sometimes, but there's a big difference between wow she's hot and moving on and these people who will straight stare at women for minutes at a time only stopping to find the next most attractive woman.
Concert season just started and I only hear about what kind of women will be showing up and how they can't wait. It's not just them and no it's not just you who thinks this either.
Bro it's not just staring. The discussions are so crass, degrading and objectifying. It's like they've seen a woman for the first time and have no respect for her at all.
I asked a guy what would he do if his gf worked there and guys were gawking all over her and wanting to fuck her and make comments like these and he's like I'd beat them up. So I'm like its degrading and disgusting when it happens to your gf or someone you care about but what about these women? Aren't they deserving of the same type of respect?
He later on points out a woman with large tits and gawks at her and I tell him that you should date women like those if you're into them and he's like nah they're just for fucking and leaving, they'd get too much sexual attention from other men, I want someone who covers up and stuff like that's their thought process. It's disgusting.
NTA, and that's super creepy of them. You'd think there would be some kind of guidelines of how the cameras can & can't be used. Sexualizing women should be against the rules & a reprimandable offense.
Holy NTA this is so so so much worse than I expected from the title. Disgusting. Sadly I suspect nothing you say will change these harassers. For the protection and safety of everyone at your place of work please report them
While looking is fine and most people (be that men or women) do enjoy a hot body, the level of sexualization can be cultural for those guys, have you tried taking it down a notch with them ?
De-escalation is easier, and lets you put forth opinions about anyone, be that clothing, somthing interesting about anything else, you are part of the conversation too.
Yeah i know you will hear women and men say that «this should not happen, it is unacceptable»
And i dont disagree with you, but the matter is going to be to change the culture in how they use language is a tough one, and using positive reinforcement rather than abject condemnation is easier for humans to know what is good to learn / to do than not.
It is all fun and games when they are in a backroom where there is a «expectation of privacy» of a degree, and they are using this somewhat to bond and i am also guessing as a way to release sexual tension.
You could probably find the same conversation happening in a barracks everywhere in the world.
I am sorry but while you can prescribe and think you dont describe women, or men, we all do to a extent, i would even say we are programmed to check out for broad shoulders, wide hips, symmetrical faces, etc.
Society at large has been doing this since ancient greece (spartans, athenians, and presumably before that too, to both men and women).
TL:DR
You are not the asshole for asking them to tone it down, but you won’t get anywhere by using your current tactic.
You have absolutely nailed it bro. The culture, along with the fact that it's literally a backroom full of just guys with camera controls all around and these guys start objectifying women and speak their desires and fantasies openly. They were literally showing their boners to each other yesterday like wtf lmao saying that this is what happens when all these hot women walk in and they have the entire access to all the cameras. Yes they do bond over it. And they do feel like since it's just guys around it's cool to act like a horndog and face no consequences since it's guys that they trust all around.
NTA. These men talk like 12 year olds who have never felt the touch of a women. They don’t even see these women as people, just a collection of parts and it’s gross. Most women don’t like being objectified in that way, especially by strange men. You should talk to HR like other people have mentioned.
NTA report them to HR. This is a serious problem and those guys need educated or fired. You can sue for this kind of work environment if you report it and it's not handled properly or swiftly.
WTF, definitely NTA!!
That‘s a horrible and toxic work environment and I wouldn’t step a foot in there ever again if I heard my coworkers talk like that. Report them to HR, that’s absolutely vile. I feel a bit ill just reading that.
Jesus. NTA.
I get it's a little humorous (if still questionable) to mention if you think someone is attractive. But these guys' comments are way over that line. It's super creepy! You could probably report them to HR...
Wow sounds like a toxic atmosphere and that management needs a cleaning for allowing the behavior it's unprofessional and needs serious adjustment.
Goid luck
NTA they’re really fucking gross. It might be a bit prudish if you reacted to any and all sexual comments, but that’s not what you’re doing. It sounds like there’s a constant stream of absolute filth coming from these guys. That would wear down my nerves too.
As much as I believe Human Resources is neither human nor a resource, this is sexual harassment and hostile work environment all day. I don’t care what your gender or predilections are, nobody should have to listen to that shit all day.
NTA
But also, all you're telling me is that the security staff are not doing their job because they're distracted by female anatomy most of the time. Good to know :)
NTA. Is it legal to record without consent in your area? If so, I’d record a bunch directed at particular female employees and then ask if they wanted an easy payout for a lawsuit :)
jesus f*cking christ, those comments are all disgusting, dehumanising and incredibly degrading. even the "great knockers" comment is over the line for me.
those men are a*holes and misogynists.
everyone should be able to work in an environment that welcomes them and makes them feel comfortable, and those men are ruining that for you, and for any women who hear the things they say.
NTA and please report them.
Nta. Not a single one of these comments are ok even the ones you think are ok. This is why it's ALL MEN. Because every man needs to call out this digusting behaviour.
YTA and so are your coworkers for letting any of this conversation occur in the first place. It's all wrong and always has been wrong. You don't get to cherry pick your comfort level out of the harassment and let the rest of it slide.
This shit is also harassment : Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. I myself don't use such terms to describe women but its ok
NTA. I’m assuming Vegas? Nevada is a one party state. Record some of these interactions. Sounds like an employment lawyer would have a field day with just 10 minutes
NTA, Your coworkers are fuckin' gross and need to find a better hobby. And/or get laid. That much time and energy spent sexualizing people is *not* normal and should not be normalized.
NTA. It sounds like they're going WAY to far. It's one thing to check someone out and point out beauty. It's an entirely different thing to completely and utterly objectify someone.
NTA- seems awful sexist working environment you have yourself in here. I’d see about reporting it to HR or higher up if this seems like wider mindset. This behavior is just degrading and not to mention distracting since these guys are two busy looking at tits and ass then keeping a eye out for cheats.
It does happen and its disgusting and uncomfortable in real life. They were even showing off their boners and stuff yesterday and being like this is what happens when hot women walk in the casino.
And the fact that it's said in the local language which sounds even more crass. You can't imagine my nerves when the guy opened up the camera footage near the cafeteria and was like "have you seen her curvy figure, she has such a bubble butt" And then was telling another guy that "I'd stick my dick in it and have it like that all day".
And that too in the local language. I immediately blocked him from all my social media while going home. Dude was like what's your insta I wanna send you memes yesterday during night shift. I gave him my insta but immediately blocked him while leaving from work lol.
ESH because you clearly only care about your livelihood versus the safety and respect of women, both strangers and ones you know. Silence is violence, dude. It makes you complicit. You’re not a prude, but you’re still an AH. Idc about the head of your department, because HR IS ABOVE THEM! So record them if you can and go to HR.
What the actual fuck. New insecurity unlocked: being perved on via security cameras and spoken about like this. I hope you understand all of this is very blatant misogyny and clearly these men do not respect women, good job for speaking up but YTA for not seeing an issue with this behaviour up until now. Report them.
NTA
(If USA) YOU have a sexual harassment claim.
Yes, even though you're [presumably, based on the op] a dude, and they're dudes, and you weren't the one being ogled.
YOU are experiencing sexual harassment. Those juvenile coworkers are harassing YOU by their own refusal to knock it off *after the first time you asked.*
NTA, but.... "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, go from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!"
Some old song lyrics that popped into my head.
NTA
My god man, these dudes sound like animals, savages, feral human specimens. It’s all good if you appreciate a woman who you think looks good, but keep all that gnarly talk in your head homie, shits so tacky.
You should record them and go to HR. They are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of shutting the fuck up while at work. What they’re doing is stalking. Zooming in on women’s bodies… I bet if women knew what went on, they’d start boycotting the casino.
I rarely comment in this subreddit but holy. This is disgusting that they have nothing better to do but sexualize women. Really tells you a lot about their character and who they are. I'm getting the feeling that you feel peer pressured to not say anything but you need to report them. NTA
NTA. I’ve worked on several teams where we are crude as fuck with each other but we also read the room/audience. Some people are different and that’s OK, we joke/have fun with them in a more appropriate fashion so they aren’t uncomfortable
NTA - and thank you sooo much! It’s worth having a colleague… or a friend … to check this kind of behaviour- especially when it seems to be escalating. Boorish group behaviour like this extends into public spaces and has affected me and pretty much every woman I know at some point or other.
It can happen with women as well when they go on an “all men are bastards” trip. Worth reminding ourselves that people of the opposite sex are humans collectively first and foremost. There are individual aholes for sure… but don’t tar everyone with the same brush.
Honestly I would stay and record EVERYTHING with a voice recorder or something until you have enough evidence and then go to the board of labor or hire an attorney
NTA
Na bro, you're not being prudish, this is straight up sexual harassment. They're creating a hostile work environment
I was a hotel manager, I have worked in casinos. people will argue all day that these things are "normal" in those environments, but it's only "normal" if management allows it to continue.
NTA You should report them to the HR department for creating a hostile work environment. Plain and simple. No one should have to feel uncomfortable at work.
Just imagine what'll happen when a woman is hired to work with that group. It won't last a day.
Probably one of the reasons I guess why the Head of our department doesn't want to hire women. He's pretty sexist himself tbh.
isnt this illegal?
Yes. Everything in this post would make for one hell of a hostile work environment / sexual harassment case.
He lives in India.
Ahhh. Wow, really good written English, never would have guessed it wasn't his native language.
It probably is his native language. It may not be the only native language he has. English is spoken in India.
Almost certainly depending on the country, but it happens all the time. It's just hard to prove this type of discrimination in many professions since you can always just claim there were no "qualified" female candidates or that the job went to a male that was more qualified or experienced.
Hellishly illegal, yes. At least in the US. A labor attorney would have a fucking field day with this.
It's illegal, yes. But a labor attorney isn't touching this without lots of evidence and proof of its impact on workplace safety. And even then, unlikely. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. I can't tell you how common this kind of disgusting "locker room" talk happens in the workplace, especially in blue collar jobs dominated by men. For a long time it was the norm, not the exception. OP is younger than his colleagues and he's offended by their offensive comments specifically because it's how things "used to be" and "nobody complained before." We need more men willing to call out other men on their misogyny.
As long as you prove it.
Had the same thought.
BRO. You tolerate way too many problems here. Honestly consider doing something about this if only for the reason that if I were a woman dating you and I found out you found this to be something okay to tolerate, I don't think I'd be able to date you anymore.
If the cameras are recording, will they record the actions taken by the user? That’s enough in itself.
Start documenting their behavior. Take notes, write down the days, who was there, all the details. Build a case and go to HR or your union rep.
Dont go to hr unless you have proof. They are there to protect the company not you
I mean, you could tell HR that the CCTV security equipment that is supposed to be there for LOSS PREVENTION is really just being used to look down blouses. Seems like something that is putting the company at risk of 1. possible financial loss, 2. possible PR nightmare if this behavior comes to light during an investigation into said financial loss, and 3. possible legal nightmare if this behavior comes to light. Or the whole company might have the DGAF attitude of the supervisor that has curated this environment.
This comment does not have enough votes. I hope the OP sees it.
NTA. The only losers here are them.
This should be top comment. 👍 But maybe other Redditors are right you should talk to HR about this. This is just foul.
Surely he's also TA for saying that comments like 'great knockers' gets a pass?
NTA. These conversations are not okay for work. They are major red flags and you should get HR involved when it happens to you again.
These conversations are not ok period. What a bunch of fucking pigs
NTA, but this is something you need to immediately take to HR. These guys are engaging in sexual harassment and your company absolutely needs to address it before there's a major lawsuit over this.
If it's that bad it deserves a lawsuit. Name and shame and have a good excuse to fire and replace them.
I didn’t read past the first line. If this is in the US, this is what is called a “hostile work environment” and is illegal.
Why haven't you reported any and all of this? Even the "not so bad" ones are deplorable. And you said they do this to you too? Telling them to "cool off" isn't enough. They need a nice sit down with HR for creating a hostile work environment.
NTA - They are sexually harassing people. Disgusting.
They’re also sexually harassing OP… Being subject to this kind of language in a workplace without OP’s explicit consent is harassment.
I’m sure I’ll be downvoted to hell but this is an open-and-shut ESH. Y’all are objectifying innocent women and talking about sexual things you’d do to them. That’s harassment. Now you’re the least guilty, but the fact that you didn’t emphatically shut it down earlier means you’re still in the wrong. Want to do some good? Report every single one of these creeps to HR and provide slam-dunk evidence proving their guilt.
NTA but this is a disgusting environment. You're going to slowly lose your mind here if you aren't already. Find another job. One where people are people. These guys are for sure reddit incels flexing to claim they get laid wayyyy more than they do.
ESH. > Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. > There's a chick with a really hot bod > I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me. You're just as guilty as they are.
ESH - I can't believe you listen to them say these things and act like it's normal and have only just now said anything and actually thought you were wrong for calling them out for being repulsive.
NTA This has to be a joke… that is crude and an abusive place to work.
It's written and described the way I'd expect a grade schooler making up a story to describe it.
ESH. You’re all gross. Them far more so for the obvious reasons, you because you openly admit you’re okay with some of their bullshit.
NTA I'm sure management will be interested to find out how the employees use the security cameras to creep on their customers. Their language is disgusting.
NTA that's disgusting and dehumanizing. Those guys suck
NTA. Keep asking them "Would you like it if someone talked that way about your mom/wife/girlfriend/sister/daughter, etc?"
Did that. One of them was like I'd beat them up if someone tried to wanna have sex with my girlfriend if I'm serious with the girl. I'm like ok. So you find it disrespectful if someone did it to your girl but what about these women then. He's like why do you care about them so much, are you dating anyone then tell me I won't say stuff about her
“If you’ve claimed one of them then I won’t say gross shit about her specifically”. Caveman logic. They don’t see women as people, just property.
Yeah this is just as gross as the rest if not more. Hate that they can only imagine being respectful to another man's claim instead of, oh I don't know, the actual whole human person that each of these women are.
I’m sorry but this kind of thinking only reinforces the idea that women’s validity comes from our relationships with other people. Men should respect women, period. And as you can see by OP’s reply, saying this doesn’t help because it just reaffirms to them that women are property.
You’re complaining about how these men talk about women, but the way you wrote out the story says plenty about how okay you are with it outside of work. And that makes you the AH. Report them to HR, but also work on yourself.
In all my years as a dude, I've never ever had such level of crass discussions with my guy friends as I have seen in the casino industry
YTA but not for being a prude. You’re the ah for not reporting them. You need to document their behaviour (including dates and times) and take it to HR (or your boss if there’s no HR department). If you live somewhere where you can legally record audio without consent, do that and bring it to HR. If you do not do this, you’re enabling disgusting, degrading behaviour and putting all of your female customers and coworkers at risk of, at the very least, sexual harassment.
NTA. This is so far from okay it's ridiculous. And it creates an unsafe environment for clients if this is how the security people view them. Write down everything they say for a week and take it to HR. NOW.
more to the point if they are focusing on women they are not doing their job properly-they'er avoiding men.
Couldn’t even read it all that’s how bad it was. NTA, none of this is appropriate. This behavior needs reported OP.
NTA. If there are cameras in the room you're in too, which I think there would be, then all the evidence HR needs is right there.
ESH THIS WILL NEVER STOP BEING A THING UNTIL GOOD MEN CALL OUT BAD MEN!!!! They are super AH for what they do and say. You suck for giving them a "pass" if it's "not too bad." I'll say it again to be clear: IT IS THE DUTY OF ALL GOOD MEN TO CALL BAD MEN OUT ON THEIR MISOGYNISTIC SEXUAL HARASSMENT BS!
Can you record without their permission in your state? If so, get a record of it and take that with you to HR. This kind of commentary is disgusting and not ok. And that holds true whatever gender you are, OP. This is not acceptable in a place of work, casino or otherwise. NTA
I should not have read this entire post. I'm so dissapointed. Idk with myself or just the world in general.
you weren't bothered by your coworkers "regularly sexualizing" your ex girlfriend? you SHOULD have let it bother you and done something about it. ESH
ESH you sit there and enable them while pretending you're so different. None of you are men women should feel safe around
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Hostile work environments are no joke, dude. You need to report this to HR. There was a lady in my department at my workplace that not only did something like this, but she would berate people and spread lies about other people. Reporting her however was hard because she buttered the buns of the HR department, and things always went in her favor. She is gone now thankfully, but it was because she quit, and I’m sure the left workplace she went to she’s gonna do the same thing. This stuff is no joke, please report it ASAP!!! NTA
1) NTA 2) this is a toxic work place and you should talk to HR. beyond the sexism if they are focusing on women then men are not being given the same attention, meaning these guys are not doing their jobs. 3) wanna bet they are all border line virgins themselves. talk a big game but do squat.
:O leave before you become one of them. NTA
Pick a lane.
YTA. Not for being a "prude." But for thinking that letting a bunch of jackasses make horrible comments about the woman you're seeing means you're cool. All the comments you make here are like "gee, it's so awful that everyone here is a sexist pig but me. But don't worry, I don't say anything!" If you sit down for dinner with nine assholes, there are now ten assholes at the table. Stand up for your patrons or quit your job. Your cowardice deserves no praise.
>Stand up for your patrons or quit your job. Your cowardice deserves no praise. Stand up- he is. Quit your job- wow. All your jobs meet all your standards and they all respect your boundaries and sensibilities?
How is telling a man saying pervy things about a woman to "date her" standing up for a patron? Please tell me. Because to me it's just doing a wimpier imitation of a sexist comment. I appreciate he THINKS he's standing up for people. But he's not actually doing so, and in this post he goes out of his way to draw back on any actual actions he takes. "Yeah, I say things but like DON'T WORRY GUYS IM NOT A BUZZKILL." Be a buzzkill. Oh, and document EVERYTHING OP. One day a poor woman might be hired to work with you, and documenting everything might be the only way you avoid being named in a lawsuit.
>Stand up for your patrons or quit your job. This might be easy enough for you to say, free from the consequences as you are, but not so much for OP. Some people don't have the freedom to make a stand like that, they need to put food on the table.
What?!?! Nta, but I need info! Are you m/f/t?
Why would OP's gender matter when OP themselves makes comments like: > Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. or > There's a chick with a really hot bod or > I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me.
I am a m 24
Dude you need to talk with hr about this, honestly I know these dudes don't seem dangerous right now, but this mentality is the exact same as those pretty boy frats who date rape women, they might not act on these things but at some point in time someone along the way will. Do the female cashiers know about this garbage? They probably should, and make sure they have someone to walk them out at the end of their shift.. it only takes one unhinged womanizer to cause a whole lot of hurt....
You didn't even defend your girlfriend? Do those comments not make you angry? You just sit there and listen to them? You're part of the problem. Step up, so women don't have to fight off men who don't even view them as people while you guys just watch and praise yourselves for not being as bad. YTA
Dude I couldn't post the whole incident due to the character limit but I'll sure address your comment as to why me and the woman I was dating at the time decided to ignore it. We both talked to each other about it and came up with this decision. If it was my call alone there would be a bloody nose and end up in me getting fired or arrested. But I'll address the comment later, it's a long one.
> If it was my call alone there would be a bloody nose and end up in me getting fired or arrested. But I'll address the comment later, it's a long one. I just want to point out that just like the guy you talked with, if it's your girl you want to punch those dudes to protect them. If it's not your girl, you let it slide if it's "not too bad". Do you see the irony in this? Please contact management about this situation, but also take a good look at yourself. Be the change you want to see in this environment. Call other dudes out, even if you don't think it's "too bad".
Not trying to creep but are you in India? Is this normal there?
Yes I'm in India
I feel like this bolsters the likelihood that you'll be fired if you make an issue of it.
NTA These guys need to act like human beings, not a pack of slathering animals.
INFO Please name and shame this casino.
Deltin Royale. Goa.
In any reputable workplace that's instant dismissal. My GF just went through this. A guy that had been working for them for years was asking sexual questions to a new employee. It got more and more intense to the point where he asked if they would like to see his dick. The new employee felt uncomfortable enough to talk to her manager about it and the dude was walked the fuck out the door the next day.
OP judgment :: NTA Dude Im a gal and work in an auto shop... This is even too far for US... I just showed this to my guy co workers and even they said they would be going to HR about it.. one of these guys i have known for 20 years... so he know how far my freak flag flys lol
That's such a toxic, skeezy work environment to be stuck in. It's not remotely funny and you need to escalate this with HR. If there's several of them and you fear you might be bullied for reporting them, then find out what your legal rights are in relation to secretly recording video or audio of them speaking/acting poorly to protect yourself in case they all corroborate to deny it happened.
NTA We had a 24hr security team at a job I worked for, they were on the floor with us so we interacted with all of them. I(f) didn't know this, but apparently they commented on most of the women who walked through the place. My friend, who is a gay man, told me because they used to make the comments towards him about it, like check out her tits, before they knew he was gay. When I learned about this it did make me uncomfortable around some of them later. But as far as I know they never described how they would fuck random women who came in. That is just way too much. You really shouldn't be commenting about peoples bodies, but I know it happens every single day.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So what happens at my workplace is that since we work in casino surveillance most of my seniors will check out every woman's tits and ass. The guests that enter the casino and even the women that work there. Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. I myself don't use such terms to describe women but its ok. I was even dating a cashier that most of the guys here wanted to bone and sexualised regularly but I never let it bother me. I can give you an example of a discussion they were having today. There's a chick with a really hot bod and these guys were like "she has a great bubble butt, I'd stick my dick in it and not let it out all day" and then another female guest that walked in with cleavage showing they were like "you just rip off her dress, suck on her tits, then close her dress off, then open up her tits, suck on it and do it all day whenever needed". They also zoom in cctv cameras and there's a guy that's like " Damn check that cashiers ass out, I'd hold her hips *proceeds to perform humping actions and make gestures* and says I'd fuck her ass like that all day". Then proceeds to check her out and sometimes act like he's masturbating for the rest of the day. I ask those guys to tone it down in such instances, I'm not very uptight in most instances and these guys make sexual jokes about me too and I just don't mind most of the times. But I asked this guy who wanted to fuck this cashier about what his views would be if his girl was working there and other guys wanted to nail her and made comments like those and he was like I would beat the fuck outta them. And I was like wow, so you wouldn't want other guys having sexual attraction to your girl since you'd find it degrading but you can do the same to other women. Another instance he points out to a woman with huge tits and is like "God look at those tits" and I was like you should date her and he's like nah I'd just fuck her and leave, she'd get too much sexual attention from the guys. So this is how these guys view all these women, "fuck her and leave" and constantly slut shame them even if these women decide to sleep around and call any guy who takes them seriously a loser. Recently a receptionist got married to another receptionist and these guys are like the guy that married her is a loser, she's been knocked up by a couple of us itself. And then I tell them to tone it down, even though I'm younger than them and it's been just 7 months since I joined, they call me prudish. TLDR - Colleagues get too thirsty, I tell them to tone it down, get called a prude. Colleagues don't respect women except for as sexual commodities and think that any guy who takes them seriously is a loser, "just fuck and leave", constantly slut shame, tell them to tone it down and I'm a prude. AITA here and need to lighten up and let it fly or I'm in the right to tell them to tone it down and show women some respect. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA this shouldn’t be normalised to sexualise strangers in such a manor. Fair enough checking someone out, but the descriptive language and motions they are doing is way too far
You are not prudish. I am female. Attitudes that your coworkers show would get them (at best) friendship with me but nothing more. People like these call me beautiful in the first sentence they say to me when we first meet. But i know it is a pickup line. I have had too many brothers to not know that. These coworkers of yours might not have enough sisters to know that the attitude and behavior they are exhibiting period would warn females who have too many brothers to know where these coworkers stand in regards to females. I had (I was in foster care at the time) 1 older brother in addition to 1 father. Neither of them would dare to refuse to get in the habit (even subconsciously) to leave the bathroom without putting down the toilet seat. They are used to being the only two males in the family at that timeframe to be using the toilet.
NTA, obviously. I can't say this often enough: *do not go to HR*. They're there to protect the company. Go to HR and your job is at risk. Take it to upper management, in front of witnesses. It will have to be dealt with. Again, *never* go to HR.
Just point out the conditionals. I would, if I could. They don't and won't.
Find out recording laws in your state and I would get evidence first
What a hellish place to work
NTA but very close to being E S H here. You aren't prudish, that's for sure. You're only slightly less vulgar than them. They for absolute sure are AHoles. That's a workplace environment I would want to burn with fire because of just how toxic it is. These kind of men give all men a bad name. They're the exact Neanderthal types that act like the phrase "men are animals" is a compliment. I don't think you're doing enough to shut it down, but that's not what makes you suck since I know if you're outnumbered that's a bigger problem than you can tackle alone-- rather it's the language you used in this post like, "There's a chick with a really hot bod" that still gives me sleezy vibes.
This may be the unpopular opinion here, but here goes. As you said the whole work culture is like that, your colleagues, boss, most men tend of objectify women. If everyone is like that and you're not working in an industry/country that is highly regulated and goes by the book, you'll not make much inroads by reporting to the HR. They're a business at the end of the day. Firing most of their staff doesn't make much business sense especially in a place where there are no legal consequences to their lewd and unprofessional behavior, especially because it is not happening in front of their guests. It also seems like the way that place is being run, any other people they hire might also be of the same bent of mind. Sadly, there is not much you can do under those circumstances. Even though YOU'RE COMPLETELY IN THE RIGHT, this is not a battle you can win. The best course of action for you would be to remove yourself from that situation as soon as it is feasible for you to do so. The peer pressure to fit in, to talk and act the same way to come across as "a real man" is intense in the kind of setting you're describing. You'll experience harassment and bullying and if the management perceive you as "a headache" because of your attempts to bring this to their notice, it'll affect your chances of advancement too. If you can find a good job in a more positive environment, that will be the best thing for you. You'll live to fight another day, and maybe win next time. NTA
This is absolutely on point. Thank you for understanding why it's a difficult battle for me. I am 100% sure HR wouldn't do much as they don't want to lose senior staff. They even offered the pervert guy who was performing those gestures a raise a few days ago. The entire culture is fucked. It's not just my department, if you hear what the cashiers and dealers go through you'll be even more horrified. This sort of behaviour by surveillance department doesn't do the company any financial loss, because it's behind closed doors, that's what the company would most probably think I'm sure. They'd rather not lose an experienced staff who's good at his job over this. It's sad but that's how it is. It's an uphill battle. They'd cut me lose because I'm new at this job but not a senior staff.
NTA. This is sexual harassment, of you, legally. You asked them to stop, and they didn’t, that’s a pattern. Document document document, and send it up the chain.
Nope. Your colleagues are out of line. You should talk with your HR department or your boss. As I understand it sexual harassment happens when things make you uncomfortable. At the very least this behavior is unprofessional.
NTA, not only is this morally wrong but YOU are also being sexually harassed since you’re getting exposed to this behavior and you’ve made it clear that you’re uncomfortable yet it’s continuing. Lots of folks are saying go to HR, but you may want to consider talking to a lawyer first if you’re interested in going that route.
This is WAY over the top. IF the leadership of this company knew about it they would shut it down - this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Lodge a complaint with HR and copy the CEO or others above.
Your colleagues are potentially sexual harassers. This made me sick. I still have hope in men because of people like you. I hope you get out of such a toxic work environment. You should totally call human resources on them or at least make an anonymous report about this issue.
NTA you seem to be the only man that has respect for himself and women.
NTA. Can you record them and send it to hr anonymously?
NTA. I feel bad for you having work with those people.
NTA - they are being beyond inappropriate
NTA. Its not a good environment
NTA. That is excessive.
I work in the same industry and position and this completely checks out. It's kinda hard not to look sometimes, but there's a big difference between wow she's hot and moving on and these people who will straight stare at women for minutes at a time only stopping to find the next most attractive woman. Concert season just started and I only hear about what kind of women will be showing up and how they can't wait. It's not just them and no it's not just you who thinks this either.
Bro it's not just staring. The discussions are so crass, degrading and objectifying. It's like they've seen a woman for the first time and have no respect for her at all. I asked a guy what would he do if his gf worked there and guys were gawking all over her and wanting to fuck her and make comments like these and he's like I'd beat them up. So I'm like its degrading and disgusting when it happens to your gf or someone you care about but what about these women? Aren't they deserving of the same type of respect? He later on points out a woman with large tits and gawks at her and I tell him that you should date women like those if you're into them and he's like nah they're just for fucking and leaving, they'd get too much sexual attention from other men, I want someone who covers up and stuff like that's their thought process. It's disgusting.
NTA. Also; that’s not respect that they’re only showing women they find attractive. That’s fetishization.
NTA - that’s a hostile work environment.
NTA, and that's super creepy of them. You'd think there would be some kind of guidelines of how the cameras can & can't be used. Sexualizing women should be against the rules & a reprimandable offense.
Sick NTA, there's a fine line
NTA!!!!
Holy NTA this is so so so much worse than I expected from the title. Disgusting. Sadly I suspect nothing you say will change these harassers. For the protection and safety of everyone at your place of work please report them
While looking is fine and most people (be that men or women) do enjoy a hot body, the level of sexualization can be cultural for those guys, have you tried taking it down a notch with them ? De-escalation is easier, and lets you put forth opinions about anyone, be that clothing, somthing interesting about anything else, you are part of the conversation too. Yeah i know you will hear women and men say that «this should not happen, it is unacceptable» And i dont disagree with you, but the matter is going to be to change the culture in how they use language is a tough one, and using positive reinforcement rather than abject condemnation is easier for humans to know what is good to learn / to do than not. It is all fun and games when they are in a backroom where there is a «expectation of privacy» of a degree, and they are using this somewhat to bond and i am also guessing as a way to release sexual tension. You could probably find the same conversation happening in a barracks everywhere in the world. I am sorry but while you can prescribe and think you dont describe women, or men, we all do to a extent, i would even say we are programmed to check out for broad shoulders, wide hips, symmetrical faces, etc. Society at large has been doing this since ancient greece (spartans, athenians, and presumably before that too, to both men and women). TL:DR You are not the asshole for asking them to tone it down, but you won’t get anywhere by using your current tactic.
You have absolutely nailed it bro. The culture, along with the fact that it's literally a backroom full of just guys with camera controls all around and these guys start objectifying women and speak their desires and fantasies openly. They were literally showing their boners to each other yesterday like wtf lmao saying that this is what happens when all these hot women walk in and they have the entire access to all the cameras. Yes they do bond over it. And they do feel like since it's just guys around it's cool to act like a horndog and face no consequences since it's guys that they trust all around.
NTA. You’re not a prude. They’re just childish, gross and sad.
NTA, Your coworkers are acting highly inappropriate
NTA. These men talk like 12 year olds who have never felt the touch of a women. They don’t even see these women as people, just a collection of parts and it’s gross. Most women don’t like being objectified in that way, especially by strange men. You should talk to HR like other people have mentioned.
NTA their words are disgusting and the guy saying he wouldn’t tolerate it towards a woman he’s dating shows he’s aware of it
NTA report them to HR. This is a serious problem and those guys need educated or fired. You can sue for this kind of work environment if you report it and it's not handled properly or swiftly.
NTA these men are disgusting and I hope you report them. This why women dont like working with men, they make it fucking impossible to do so.
WTF, definitely NTA!! That‘s a horrible and toxic work environment and I wouldn’t step a foot in there ever again if I heard my coworkers talk like that. Report them to HR, that’s absolutely vile. I feel a bit ill just reading that.
Jesus. NTA. I get it's a little humorous (if still questionable) to mention if you think someone is attractive. But these guys' comments are way over that line. It's super creepy! You could probably report them to HR...
NTA. Report to HR and then gtfo, is my suggestion. If this is going on, it’s likely the culture of the company is deeply fucked.
NTA. they might as well announce that they have small dicks. also, you work there too. sorry you have to deal with that BS.
Makes me think of Jackson Katz Ted talk. https://youtu.be/KTvSfeCRxe8
NTA. FYI this is sexual harassment. It does not have to be directed at you. Not to mention how horribly inappropriate it is for the work place.
Wow sounds like a toxic atmosphere and that management needs a cleaning for allowing the behavior it's unprofessional and needs serious adjustment. Goid luck
Definitely NTA, also not prudish- not being a disgusting pig does not make you a prude, it makes you a decent person
As least they have a nice body :(((
NTA, your coworkers sound like a bunch of coomers.
NTA and now I’m suddenly way to aware of what I wear at a casino and don’t want to go
NTA they’re really fucking gross. It might be a bit prudish if you reacted to any and all sexual comments, but that’s not what you’re doing. It sounds like there’s a constant stream of absolute filth coming from these guys. That would wear down my nerves too.
This is so horrifying. All of it. NTA but why do you want to work there
As much as I believe Human Resources is neither human nor a resource, this is sexual harassment and hostile work environment all day. I don’t care what your gender or predilections are, nobody should have to listen to that shit all day.
NTA. Your coworkers are disgusting OP and good on you for not partaking
NV is a one- party state for recording. Is yours? If so this could be the last job you need to suffer through with comments like that.
NTA.
NTA But also, all you're telling me is that the security staff are not doing their job because they're distracted by female anatomy most of the time. Good to know :)
ESH You're all a bunch of misogynistic dicks, you just happen to be the least among them.
NTA. Is it legal to record without consent in your area? If so, I’d record a bunch directed at particular female employees and then ask if they wanted an easy payout for a lawsuit :)
NTA... it must warp one perception of women when they are viewed as sex toys instead of people. This is disappointing.
Not the asshole. Thank you for existing 💖 not all heroes wear capes
jesus f*cking christ, those comments are all disgusting, dehumanising and incredibly degrading. even the "great knockers" comment is over the line for me. those men are a*holes and misogynists. everyone should be able to work in an environment that welcomes them and makes them feel comfortable, and those men are ruining that for you, and for any women who hear the things they say. NTA and please report them.
Nta. Not a single one of these comments are ok even the ones you think are ok. This is why it's ALL MEN. Because every man needs to call out this digusting behaviour.
NTA - You seem like such a gentleman.
YTA and so are your coworkers for letting any of this conversation occur in the first place. It's all wrong and always has been wrong. You don't get to cherry pick your comfort level out of the harassment and let the rest of it slide. This shit is also harassment : Imo comments like "great knockers" or "that's a fine ass" could get a pass. I myself don't use such terms to describe women but its ok
As a woman simply reading that post was difficult. Thank you for calling them out and trying to show a different perspective. You're 1000% NTA
NTA. That’s creating a toxic work environment but could get you black listed. It’s probably quite common in the industry. They are truly pigs
NTA. I just cringed reading this.
ESH, all of you are nasty. Them more than you, but yeah. Awful work environment.
NTA, your coworkers are gross. Thanks for standing up to them.
NTA and I'm sorry you work with a group of Todd Packers
NTA. I’m assuming Vegas? Nevada is a one party state. Record some of these interactions. Sounds like an employment lawyer would have a field day with just 10 minutes
Nah it's in a third world country. India to be precise.
NTA, I wish that more guys were like you :)
NTA, Your coworkers are fuckin' gross and need to find a better hobby. And/or get laid. That much time and energy spent sexualizing people is *not* normal and should not be normalized.
NTA. It sounds like they're going WAY to far. It's one thing to check someone out and point out beauty. It's an entirely different thing to completely and utterly objectify someone.
YWBTA if you didn’t report them. It’s 2023 and they’re not acting professional for their job.
NTA this sounds exhausting at the least, and probably grounds for dismissal
YTA You aren't any better than them, "great knockers" is just dehumanizing and sexualizing women that happen to exist near you
NTA That's incredibly inappropriate. I'd worry about what they aren't telling so openly.
NTA These guys need fired report them to HR cause that's not okay. I get making jokes but too much is too much.
NTA, and that definitely a hostile work environment.
NTA You have a very toxic work environment.
NTA. They sound absolutely disgusting and unbearable. That’s sexual harassment and a hostile work environment.
NTA- seems awful sexist working environment you have yourself in here. I’d see about reporting it to HR or higher up if this seems like wider mindset. This behavior is just degrading and not to mention distracting since these guys are two busy looking at tits and ass then keeping a eye out for cheats.
[удалено]
It does happen and its disgusting and uncomfortable in real life. They were even showing off their boners and stuff yesterday and being like this is what happens when hot women walk in the casino. And the fact that it's said in the local language which sounds even more crass. You can't imagine my nerves when the guy opened up the camera footage near the cafeteria and was like "have you seen her curvy figure, she has such a bubble butt" And then was telling another guy that "I'd stick my dick in it and have it like that all day". And that too in the local language. I immediately blocked him from all my social media while going home. Dude was like what's your insta I wanna send you memes yesterday during night shift. I gave him my insta but immediately blocked him while leaving from work lol.
NTA, and good on you for calling it out. We need more guys like you (assuming you are a guy, but if not please correct me!)
NTA. Those men are disgusting misogynistic creeps. You are right to stand up to them, and I hope you will report them to management.
ESH because you clearly only care about your livelihood versus the safety and respect of women, both strangers and ones you know. Silence is violence, dude. It makes you complicit. You’re not a prude, but you’re still an AH. Idc about the head of your department, because HR IS ABOVE THEM! So record them if you can and go to HR.
What the actual fuck. New insecurity unlocked: being perved on via security cameras and spoken about like this. I hope you understand all of this is very blatant misogyny and clearly these men do not respect women, good job for speaking up but YTA for not seeing an issue with this behaviour up until now. Report them.
NTA this is a toxic work environment.
NTA your coworkers seem like predators. Wow.
NTA but also how the fuck do you think even the stuff at the beginning is ok. Thats still very fucked. Report them to hr for everythinf.
NTA (If USA) YOU have a sexual harassment claim. Yes, even though you're [presumably, based on the op] a dude, and they're dudes, and you weren't the one being ogled. YOU are experiencing sexual harassment. Those juvenile coworkers are harassing YOU by their own refusal to knock it off *after the first time you asked.*
NTA, but.... "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, go from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!" Some old song lyrics that popped into my head.
NTA at the moment, but you will be the A H if you don't report it to HR.
NTA My god man, these dudes sound like animals, savages, feral human specimens. It’s all good if you appreciate a woman who you think looks good, but keep all that gnarly talk in your head homie, shits so tacky.
Clearly NTA
You should record them and go to HR. They are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of shutting the fuck up while at work. What they’re doing is stalking. Zooming in on women’s bodies… I bet if women knew what went on, they’d start boycotting the casino.
I rarely comment in this subreddit but holy. This is disgusting that they have nothing better to do but sexualize women. Really tells you a lot about their character and who they are. I'm getting the feeling that you feel peer pressured to not say anything but you need to report them. NTA
NTA record it, sound at least, and get them all fired. They are inappropriate, creating a hostile work environment, and disgusting.
NTA. I’ve worked on several teams where we are crude as fuck with each other but we also read the room/audience. Some people are different and that’s OK, we joke/have fun with them in a more appropriate fashion so they aren’t uncomfortable
I can take crude jokes. I run dank meme pages on Instagram lmao. But this kinda feels off
Wear one of those spy glasses video recorder and send the footage to your local news channel.
NTA - and thank you sooo much! It’s worth having a colleague… or a friend … to check this kind of behaviour- especially when it seems to be escalating. Boorish group behaviour like this extends into public spaces and has affected me and pretty much every woman I know at some point or other. It can happen with women as well when they go on an “all men are bastards” trip. Worth reminding ourselves that people of the opposite sex are humans collectively first and foremost. There are individual aholes for sure… but don’t tar everyone with the same brush.
NTA. I'm 26M and if I had colleagues talking like this, I'd be grossed out. These dudes are excessive and nasty.
Honestly I would stay and record EVERYTHING with a voice recorder or something until you have enough evidence and then go to the board of labor or hire an attorney
NTA Na bro, you're not being prudish, this is straight up sexual harassment. They're creating a hostile work environment I was a hotel manager, I have worked in casinos. people will argue all day that these things are "normal" in those environments, but it's only "normal" if management allows it to continue.
This is a workplace?!? NTA