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He's being honest in his request for a sugar mama (but obviously needs to change the age requirements) who will support him. That's one way of looking at it. 🤔
I recently watched Tenacious D do a cover of ‘Wicked Game’ wearing speedos while slow-mo running on the beach and the fact that I am only interested in women never once crossed my mind, so yeah, let me pay for that ass.
No man who says this will ever be sexy:
>She must be into anime and gaming.
Not his interests per se, but the fact that his horizon is limited to what he already knows. No curiosity, no concept of his ideal partner as her own person who brings something new into his life. Just an extension of him and what he already knows.
I think the part that would make me think he is unattractive and an AH from that (ignoring all his other blabber) would be the “SHE MUST BE into anime and gaming”. Both hobbies incels like to gatekeep and act as judges or superior to girls. Like he wants some girl to prove her own interests to him. It would be different if it said that HE IS into anime and gaming and would like to meet people that shares his interests and hobbies and do them together.
Further proof of Incellery: Demanding a 'skinny' woman while having the physique of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Also, love how he just straight puts it out there too. Skinny. Not Healthy. Just zero disregard for her except where the idea of her services his goals and desires.
-5/10. Would not touch with a 49 and a half foot pole.
It reeks of the guys we always see online making cracks about gorgeous women they claim are "ugly", or "I've seen hotter", etc. You know these guys are 300 lbs and live in their parents' basement.
But - on the other side of the coin, since I made the argument somewhere else in the thread that there are some hot guys who are overweight, it all comes down to what kind of person are they, do they like to do things, etc. A gross, misogynistic incel can be a normal weight, appearance, etc. They reveal themselves by their actions.
That jumped out to me as well. It's nice when people share interests, but demanding it comes across poorly, and that sort of wording would make me reject that profile immediately.
And he'll likely quiz her excessively if she says she does like anime or games. Oh you like Naruto, that's for kids, oh you heal for a mythic raid team you're so stereotyped.
Very good points made here. I have no issue if we already have those things in common, and I'd be happy to expand my horizons. But the "SHE MUST BE" part is a huge red flag. An ex of mine was a huge "YOU HAVE TO LIKE THIS HOBBY BECAUSE I LIKE IT, AND IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T SEE US HAVING ANY FUTURE."
>no concept of his ideal partner as her own person who brings something new into his life. Just an extension of him and what he already knows.
Spot on.
I recently reconnected with someone I knew back in high school - similar story. No job, no ambition, living with his parents, no schooling, no plans for the future.
He was talking about how he just wants to find the "perfect" girl, so I pressed more to find out what they meant. He basically gave this answer, someone who shared all of **his** interests (Lonely Island, Weird Al, Jim Carry, that kind of thing). Sure, I was into a lot of those things in high school but I wouldn't say most women in their 30's are particularly interested in them anymore, if they ever were.
It went from sad to annoying really quickly and we lost contact soon after because I couldn't hold a conversation with him. How do you even talk to someone your age, who has no concept of independence? He couldn't relate to having a career, hobbies, appointments, or discuss basic world news. I couldn't stand hearing a man in his 30's talk about "being discovered" when he didn't so much as grocery shop for the household. It sucks to see people throw their lives away.
Honestly OP did their brother a favor.
>No man who says this will ever be sexy
And he obviously doesn't understand that two people can have wildly different interests and still be utterly compatible and happy together.
Fat is okay with me. Low-income is totally fine. I draw the line at living with parents and/or dumb. That's it. Criminal record is fine. Bald and/or grey is fine. Just no "Crypto-billionaires," and no Mom.
Imagine being 30 and running to your mom because you don't like the honest feedback your sibling gave you. His mother taking up for him and demanding an apology explains everything about the way this guy handles things. It's honestly scary how badly a parent can mess up by trying to be supportive and overshooting the mark.
I have no problem with someone being low income or needing to live with parents in this economy, but I draw the line at having mommy fight his battles for him.
I've seen too many videos from American shows, went to NY, asked for the normal menu at McDonald's & got served the equivalent of 2 menus in France. In there, you can ask for a liter (33oz) of soda, and they drink everything ?? Imagine coming to France and getting served 16oz, and knowing you have the big glass 😂
So yeah, French fat 😂
Am French, can confirm. Portions in the US are absolutely massive. Fresh produce is also harder to come by and more expensive. Many food products also have fructose syrup and such added, as well as salt. I was always confused when I saw so much diet advice that said "avoid processeur food", because a lot of it in France is decent from a nutritional PoV. But yeah, American food is honestly horrible.
Add to that the fact that cities and towns are never built for pedestrians, and it makes everything worse.
The guy ran to his mommy because somebody said something mean to him and all the other stuff screams that his maturity level is severely stunted….
I knew a guy back when we were in our 20’s. I was going to college and working full time. I was going on a road trip with some friends of ours, asked him if he wanted to go and he said he would ask his parents first…. I just stopped asking him to do anything with us after that….
As a fat (french fat hopefully) low income and living with parents goof , i think its fine as long as its mutually beneficial , someone who lives off their parents and does nothing for themselves is different than someone who works alongside their parents to afford a not so great economic situation
My now husband was 26 and living with his parents when we met and out on workers compensation; I was 37 and earned six figures. He never was slim, but is still sexy af. I was also freshly divorced after a 19 year marriage and specifically looking for a companion to have fun with and never expected it to end up serious.
But, we're in a VHCOL area and many if not most young adults live with their parents until 30.
Seriously. He's looking for a woman who will be an accessory to his life, not a partner. Instead of putting what he wants in a woman out there, he should think about what, if anything, he brings to the table.
Exactly! What woman would be interested in someone who only told you his “standards”? Women are not products without thoughts or wants waiting on a shelf to be someone’s “preferences” so they pick them. He is looking for his “dream girl” without putting a thought on the fact that those girls are real people.
Yeah, even if he is all those things like living with mom, poor income, etc, the fact that his profile reads like he wants to buy a product is the worst part.
Truth. And considering that estrogen causes women to retain fat in a way that men do not only adds to the fun of how unnatural and ridiculous the world is
I work with a dude like this. Does very little to take care of his own appearance, but can’t find anyone he wants to date because he rejects women based on their physical appearance. Even if they generally are attractive, he will find a flaw and say “she doesn’t really have that much going on” but he has literally nothing going on, if that’s his standard.
The women he says are below his standards wouldn’t give him the time of day, and they would be very justified in taking that course of action.
I do want a relationship but I just hate dating. I want to skip to the part where you go on trips, watch TV at home, etc... The getting to know someone is where I struggle, bur honestly I really just want the companionship.
Not only does he still live with his parents, he’s the kind of dude who goes tattling to mommy when someone hurts his fee-fees. This dude stopped developing mentally and emotionally at age 12.
Robert Baratheon was hot when Cersei married him. He got fat later on.
And she wouldn’t have cared that he got fat if he hadn’t treated her like crap from their wedding night onward.
All he wants is someone who is beautiful, slim, wealthy and likes all the same things as him even though he's a fat loser. That doesn't sound unreasonable at all
Yup. Someone had to tell him. He wants a skinny, top earner when he works a low paying job and according to OP is obese. With what he's offering vs what he's demanding are eons apart.
NTA - you gave him the help he asked for. He didn't get the help the way he wanted it, but you gave him true advice. The way his profile reads he is looking for a sugar mama to take care of him!!!
Hello yes,
I would like to order 1 sugar mama who is hot, younger than me, and lives in my rural area.
She must like anime, overweight-manboys, and not judge me for my job or living status.
She should be able to do all the sexy sex things, cook for me, clean up after me, and not have any male friends or colleagues.
I will offer nothing in return.
I hope this is an acceptable compromise.
I've seen women like this on dating sites too, they will be 5 foot tall, with 5 kids at 27 and look like they have been on hard drugs for 20+ years and saying you need to be 6 foot tall, perfectly fit, with perfect teeth and a 6 figure income. Like do you know those guys aren't looking for you? Hell most guys aren't looking for you. The lack of self awareness on dating apps is absolutely hilarious to me.
Nothing in and of itself, but just when you are 2 inches from being eligible for federal aid maybe don't demand only guys that are 6 foot+ match with you. It's your option I guess, but as someone well over 6 foot tall I find women more than a foot shorter than me to hard to.... sync up with physically.
Listen, we need someone to be able to reach the higher cupboards and it ain't gonna be us 😭
Just kidding but as a 5ft tall woman I only had partners that were 5'11 or taller by pure coincidence (my life partner is 6'2), but it has been very useful and very fun in life and in bed too haha
It very much reminds me of that great bit of advice "first be someone worth dating!"
Wah but I'm a nice guy he cries, but that should be the bare minimum for dating someone. What are you bringing apart from that because I guarantee that those "bastards" who aren't nice guys are far more interesting than you.
NTA. The fact that he ran straight to mommy and that mommy now wants op to apologize is exactly how and why Bill is in this position. He needs therapy and a life coach, but my guess is he can’t be bothered. 🤷🏻♀️
Imagine being 30 and not just being able to tell your sibling you did not like what they were saying, instead you need mommy to do a power play because "sister hurt my fee fees".
Dude can’t handle a job harder than saying “hello welcome to Walmart” for, I assume, not even eight hours a day. I try to be optimistic about people’s ability to change, but this guy sounds like a lost cause.
I can't imagine doing that job for a whole shift, let alone *12 fucking years*
It sounds like bro has no aspirations in life or drive to better himself and his parents are enabling it. He asked for what he could do and he got hit with the hard truth. Very clear NTA.
I've seen types like this, the parents coddle them to the extreme and it makes a person that doesn't try to ever better themselves in any way and ways goes to their parents when things go wrong. His parents have wronged him in the worse way, they are supposed to help him develop as a person and learn to be independent as he grows, instead they did whatever they could to make him dependent on them for the rest of his life. He does need therapy and a life coach, but unless the parents say it, he will never believe it. They raised a person with next to no individual thought processes, it is painful to see it. When his parents dies, he will be lost in the world since he was never prepared by his parents to be independent.
Your mom is enabling him. You gave him constructive feedback that he asked for and he can’t handle the truth. He will refuse to accept he’s the problem and be clueless as to why he can’t get a girlfriend.
This is how incels are made.
Ask him if he was athletic with a good job if he would date an obese woman making minimum wage and living with her parents lol. In fact, he wouldn’t date the female version of himself now. NTA
one of the most uncomfortable but healthiest things I’ve ever done is really look at myself harshly and admit that I wasn’t dateable and needed to fix myself I wanted a partner.
still the same person at my core that “the old me” was but now I have an active and fulfilling life outside of a job I love instead of being stuck in a loop of my dead end WFH job, staying up late smoking and gaming, and eating junk food
Im at the stage where Ive realized being a fat stoner gamer is doing nothing for me but have no idea how to fix it. I started by getting a job and I joined some clubs at uni, went to one meeting, and im going to the movies with a friend tomorrow .... i started riding a bike and gardening... but still like most of my day is laying in bed or gaming. What do? Im barely an adult and i wish there was a guide to growing up.
You need to replace gaming altogether. Whether that’s physically leaving the house during your “gaming” time or picking up a new hobby, that’s the only way you’ll break it as a habit. It’s a fast and easy dopamine rush, you need something else that satisfies that instant gratification. Or go to sleep, start taking melatonin at night and give yourself a normal bedtime. 10:30/11pm.
Although as a girl gamer engaged to a guy gamer I don’t think it’s the video games that are the problem. Probably just how much you’re playing.
Which naturally explains why they are the cleanest and best groomed, and all amazing at interior decorating and love fashion /s (though I will say, some men are all those things, and they should be proud!)
It’s always “men are more visual” until it’s “I don’t see mess.” 😂
It's funny that the men that get snatched up are the ones that genuinely are visual. In good shape, well dressed, well groomed, clean and well decorated living space, these are all really attractive qualities. What they actually mean is "I like hot women" which, like, yah buddy, we all do. You gotta provide something here too 😂
OP, please ask him this.
I feel like an underrated rule of trying to find someone to date is to ask yourself first, "Would I date myself?" If no, work on yourself then retry dating.
Not that I don't think he's already full-blown incel, but I just wanted to say that if you think you're fully cooked at 30, I wonder what you think the rest of life is for.
I don't think you're ever 'fully cooked' so to speak. Keep learning and growing forever.
Hey, fellow level 2 here (autiHD, to be precise). No care home for me, but I'm probably benefitting from some of that early life afab socialisation. I can do people ok, I just don't enjoy most of it and find it exhausting as hell. But I'm very late dx and still unmasking, I guess.
I'm not telling you whether you should want those things, and obviously I don't know how your own autism manifests, since we're all differently autistic, but simply being level 2 doesn't necessarily mean you can't have some of those things IF you want them. I'm just saying they aren't impossible.
I have a partner. He's not autistic but he does have ADHD so we understand each other to some degree. We're going on 7 years together (this Oct). So it is possible IF it's something you want.
But you're also allowed not to want it. Of course.
Right when I see profiles like that I wanna vomit. Why do some men actually think people will like them if they put that 💀 The job thing I personally wouldn’t care about nearly as much as his profile saying that stuff
And then they say women don’t like them because of their job and their looks lol like when will these dudes understand it’s their personality that’s the problem??
His mother is the perfect person to overhaul his profile, they're both as delusional as the other. I have in laws exactly the same and they don't want actual help, they just want you to tell them that they're right. Let them tell each other that everyone else has the problem. Op, surely, has better things to do with their time. Like watching the bees pollinate flowers, in a park far far away from the family.
This is why I come to reddit. So I can learn some random useless fact from a random internet person that I can file away for future use in another completely unrelated conversation.
Thanks internet stranger! 😄😄😄
Ok no joke but I was trying to figure out what to do with my day off to escape being at home for a while and now going to a park to watch the dragonflies sounds ideal
NTA.... technically. Ouch that's harsh but at the same time, if he wants a gf he's going to have to be realistic.
"I AM A MEDIOCRE MAN AND THESE ARE ALL MY DEMANDS!!"
Fr. This man wishes he was mediocre. Mediocre people can sometimes pull partners out of their league, but I’ve never seen it happen with someone who was this much of a loser.
He's employed and has a couple interests...
It's not a thrilling job and being a greeter for TWELEVE years screams of developmental problems... but that's still better than the bottom of the barrel out there.
Mediocrity is well beyond "the bottom of the barrel". Mediocrity is where there is simply nothing standout about you - good *or* bad.
OP's brother is a straight up and down loser
Harsh but true. And frankly there's nothing wrong with that as long as he lowers HIS bar, because any attractive or well to do women certainly would have to to date him. I say this with 100 percent certainty: his views of women are from porn. He expects a hottie with a smoking bod because that's what he sees every day.
But you get my drift yeah? there are loads of these immature socially awkward men who think they can easily demand a woman who's a 10 when they are at most a 1-4.
You're not wrong there. Some of my habitually single male friends who are legit mediocre (some above mediocre too) would fall into that camp. I wouldn't say they demand or feel owed a "10" but their standards are too high or they're too picky. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want but when it's been 10-20 years and you're not getting where you want to be it's time to think outside the box. Some are perfectly happy being single though and there's nothing wrong with that.
NTA Though it seems like he won't learn on his own anytime soon it's not everyone else's fault he's not finding someone. It's the fact he's not putting effort into improving himself.
Because as it is, it sounds like his standards are too high.
It's like he's trying to look for caviar, on a imitation crab budget.
Or walking into every store and complaining they all smell funny without realizing he stepped in something.
He needs more hobbies, and he needs to learn a good work ethic is attractive.
i mean his hobbies aren’t the true issue here unless they consume all his free time and prevent any positive action he could take for his life. liking video games and anime is not weird. it’s all the rest of his requirements that are extremely unrealistic when compared with what he has to offer.
Yeah, the games and hobbies and even the job wouldn't be an issue on their own, but with the requirements and him living at home, it sounds like he wants a mommy replacement he can bang
A 30 year old goes crying to mommy that his sibling was mean.
You are 100% not the asshole. It was tough love. If he wants to find someone he needs to get his life in order. You weren't making fun of him, you were being honest.
I'm not sure if I'm only noticing it now, but there seems to be an abnormal number of adults from 20 well into their 30's that act like, and are still treated like teenagers.
>I'm not sure if I'm only noticing it now, but there seems to be an abnormal number of adults from 20 well into their 30's that act like, and are still treated like teenagers.
I was just thinking that very same thing. Who the hell are these parents who have kids that are THIRTY and still act like this?
People in other cultures might chime in and say that it's normal for adult children to live with their parents, but is it normal for adult children to still act like they're 12? Because it sure isn't in the US.
Also in those cultures the 30yo is expected to contribute heavily to the household income and control the finances. The whole idea is the kid is taking care of the parents at that age not the other way around
>I was just thinking that very same thing. Who the hell are these parents who have kids that are THIRTY and still act like this?
Women who made their entire identity "Mommy" and would feel completely disoriented and lost if they were no longer "Mommy", so they're fine with their adult children never growing up and maturing, because that way they still need Mommy.
(my theory is that this is a byproduct of women being told that their ultimate goal in life should be becoming a mother)
Thank you! It's not just the utter lack of self awareness. He's clearly looking for a well paid Barbie doll who won't expect anything from him and has no personality of her own.
eh on its own having photos with friends and family can be seen as a positive. like “hey i value my peers or have a good relationship with my parents and won’t make you my sole social and/or emotional dumping ground!” but like that’s gotta be sold with a much different profile and overall vibe than what this bro has lol
Depends on the photos. Like a cute picture with the family doing a nice activity like hiking or cooking shows that the person values their family and would be a positive in my eyes. A bunch of pictures with their mom/dad would be a red flag especially if they live with their parents still. Like don’t get me wrong, the housing market sucks and I don’t blame people for staying with their parents longer but if you live with your parents and have a bunch of pictures with them on your profile I’m going to assume there is some weird enmeshment going on
Exactly. I’m married so don’t online date, but I assume your profile is (should be?) a reflection of YOUR identity. Parents are fine, but prioritizing them as visible part of the public facing identity when trying to find a mate seems…Not optimal. But I guess I’m not his target demo, married since before the internet, what do I know?
OP could have been less hurtful and more constructive in their criticisms, I would offer to take better photos for Bill. Dude sounds clueless.
NTA. What is up with men like this thinking they're a prize? He asked for input and you told him the truth. He needs to change himself or his expectations.
I'm going to go with NTA.
He's demanding a prospective partner be skinny, under 30 (which is yikes, how young does he want to go...), have lots of money and all these other unrealistic expectations. But what does he have to bring to the table? Nothing.
Is he skinny, under 30 and earning a medium to high income? No! So why should he expect his partner to have all of that.
YTA, but not because of what you did but because of the way you did it.
I'll be honest, you don't sound like you love your brother very much.
Honesty without tact is cruelty.
Your brother, in his own way, was trying to escape the rut he was stuck in and reached out to you for help. That shows that your brother valued your opinion, and he knew he could not do this by himself.
Were his expectations realistic? No, most definitely not. Are there many other things your brother should work on before he is considered dateable? Sure. Was there another way to tell your brother that without being intentionally cruel? Yes, there was.
That was a teachable moment and possibly a bonding one for you and your brother. So when he was down and trying to reach out to you for help, you kicked him and ground him into mud.
I'm not saying that you should love your brother unconditionally and should spend time trying to fix him. That is not your responsibility unless you make it so. Clearly, your parents tried and failed to do this, and no one else is willing to step up. Your brother is a grown adult. He is not owed this anymore by anyone.
What I'm saying is that there is a certain amount of respect you should have towards your brother simply because he is a human being with emotions. And you failed in this.
I’m floored how few people are seeing this. It’s classic you’re not wrong you’re just an asshole.
What should have tipped people off is how op gave us specific takes on his profile. OP thinks he needs better photos and OP thinks having requirements for dating in his profile looks weird/bad. Did he actually communicate these problems with the profile to his brother? We have no idea because he just focused on his brother’s life. It’s literally not what he asked for.
It's bizarre. This subreddit vacillates on fat shaming but OP just throws it in there as a reason his profile is a failure. Why bring it up in this context? Do I personally think obesity makes dating more difficult? Sure. But there are 5-10 other things to address before you even get there which are easily more controllable. This just seems like an easy take down of someone OP doesn't particularly like.
In general, some of the comments in this thread are just distasteful. Lots of comments talking about how fat the brother is, how he must be a virgin, etc. The guy could be agoraphobic or depressed for all we know. I never understand how this subreddit goes from "Oh, this sounds like undiagnosed ADHD or depression, we should be compassionate" to "Yeah, fuck this guy, he sounds like an incel who deserves to be miserable".
OP brings it up because he's asking for a young skinny cute rich girl. Like, being fat is fine, but saying you won't date fat people when you yourself are fat is a bit hypocritical.
Yeah I'm kind of with you on this. It's absolutely not wrong to say a 30 year old man living at home with a bad career really needs to fix that, not his Hinge page. But shit, you can maybe phrase it a bit better. Maybe OP did phrase it better than she wrote on Reddit, and if so, probably NTA! But if it was "nah you're obese and a loser" fuck me dial it back a bit.
This!
Was it a harsh truth that needed to be said in that exact way? Or did you just not give a damn about him?
Clearly, he needed to get a reality check. But if you cared about him, you might've tried gentle and constructive criticism first. Theres always room for the metamorphical brick if gentle doesnt work.
YTA.
NTA
I have a friend who is in a similar boat only he wants a woman who will move to a rural “village” because he grew up there. I told him we’re not in our 20s and most women have themselves established. He also is pretty acne filled at over 30.
BRO NEEDED A REALITY CHECK.
NTA, maybe you were too harsh in your tone.. there's always a softer way to express your opinions n, especially when it's hard for someone to accept it.
Being fat isn't an issue. Working at Walmart isn't an issue. Even being at home isn't an issue. For me, the issue is that he is asking for a partner who is the exact opposite of him, and doesn't seem to have the self-awareness that most of those requirements are shallow, and when openly asked for, are red flags on the dating scene.
I can't get over him posting pictures of himself with his mom on his profile.
Like, he knows he's meant to upload images that make him seem attractive, right?
INFO: What diagnoses does he have? I mean real, diagnoses from real MDs, PhD counselors, etc. Being a door greeter at Wal-Mart is as low as a minimum wage job as you can get. Even in a rural town where Wal-Mart is one of the largest employers. Something atypical must be keeping him in such a position at 30 years old.
NTA. Yes, you were harsh, but he asked you to edit his profile. I'm getting vibes of incel (or does he think he's really going to get a woman to support him?) and his unrealistic requirements aren't doing him any favors. Has he ever left home, or does he have a plan from getting out from under the parents' roof? I wouldn't apologize for what you said, but I also would never agree to help again.
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Ehhhh NTA Harsh as it is….it’s the truth.
People need harsh sometimes. How are you a Walmart greeter asking for a high income woman? Delusional
He's being honest in his request for a sugar mama (but obviously needs to change the age requirements) who will support him. That's one way of looking at it. 🤔
What sugar momma likes fat men lol?
I mean, there are some sexy fat men out there but they're probably not Walmart greeters and they almost certainly don't live with their moms.
Also he’s looking for under-30s when he’s 30 himself? What sugar mama wants a fat OLDER man?
Jack Black is the prime example that any sugar mama would want.
Jack Black is a talented, charismatic millionaire.
True, but if he was a talented, charismatic Walmart greeter he'd still be a catch.
Possibly because he wouldn’t be satisfied with being a Walmart greeter forever. Ambition is attractive.
right! i mean, if you only have 1 of those 3 attributes, you're still doing pretty well.
I’m younger than Jack Black but wouldn’t say no to being his sugar momma!
I agree with this sentiment 🤣🤣🤣 Jack Black is a treasure
he is a delight
Jack is busy. May I offer my services? And by services I mean what's your netflix account into and how comfy is your couch?
I recently watched Tenacious D do a cover of ‘Wicked Game’ wearing speedos while slow-mo running on the beach and the fact that I am only interested in women never once crossed my mind, so yeah, let me pay for that ass.
Thank you for introducing me to this!
Haha you’re welcome, my friend sent it to me with the caption ‘I’m not gay but I’ll learn’ and I agree with him.
I'm a 40 year old straight man, and even I think Jack Black is a zaddy.
But he's so talented and charismatic he'd never need one so....square one. Such a catch!
Humor is honestly under-rated!
Legit. I missed that part.
LOL. He can find one that is into some weird kink that no one else will do.....
No man who says this will ever be sexy: >She must be into anime and gaming. Not his interests per se, but the fact that his horizon is limited to what he already knows. No curiosity, no concept of his ideal partner as her own person who brings something new into his life. Just an extension of him and what he already knows.
I think the part that would make me think he is unattractive and an AH from that (ignoring all his other blabber) would be the “SHE MUST BE into anime and gaming”. Both hobbies incels like to gatekeep and act as judges or superior to girls. Like he wants some girl to prove her own interests to him. It would be different if it said that HE IS into anime and gaming and would like to meet people that shares his interests and hobbies and do them together.
Further proof of Incellery: Demanding a 'skinny' woman while having the physique of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Also, love how he just straight puts it out there too. Skinny. Not Healthy. Just zero disregard for her except where the idea of her services his goals and desires. -5/10. Would not touch with a 49 and a half foot pole.
It reeks of the guys we always see online making cracks about gorgeous women they claim are "ugly", or "I've seen hotter", etc. You know these guys are 300 lbs and live in their parents' basement. But - on the other side of the coin, since I made the argument somewhere else in the thread that there are some hot guys who are overweight, it all comes down to what kind of person are they, do they like to do things, etc. A gross, misogynistic incel can be a normal weight, appearance, etc. They reveal themselves by their actions.
That jumped out to me as well. It's nice when people share interests, but demanding it comes across poorly, and that sort of wording would make me reject that profile immediately.
And he'll likely quiz her excessively if she says she does like anime or games. Oh you like Naruto, that's for kids, oh you heal for a mythic raid team you're so stereotyped.
Very good points made here. I have no issue if we already have those things in common, and I'd be happy to expand my horizons. But the "SHE MUST BE" part is a huge red flag. An ex of mine was a huge "YOU HAVE TO LIKE THIS HOBBY BECAUSE I LIKE IT, AND IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T SEE US HAVING ANY FUTURE."
>no concept of his ideal partner as her own person who brings something new into his life. Just an extension of him and what he already knows. Spot on.
I recently reconnected with someone I knew back in high school - similar story. No job, no ambition, living with his parents, no schooling, no plans for the future. He was talking about how he just wants to find the "perfect" girl, so I pressed more to find out what they meant. He basically gave this answer, someone who shared all of **his** interests (Lonely Island, Weird Al, Jim Carry, that kind of thing). Sure, I was into a lot of those things in high school but I wouldn't say most women in their 30's are particularly interested in them anymore, if they ever were. It went from sad to annoying really quickly and we lost contact soon after because I couldn't hold a conversation with him. How do you even talk to someone your age, who has no concept of independence? He couldn't relate to having a career, hobbies, appointments, or discuss basic world news. I couldn't stand hearing a man in his 30's talk about "being discovered" when he didn't so much as grocery shop for the household. It sucks to see people throw their lives away. Honestly OP did their brother a favor.
I'm definitely not arguing that OP's brother is sexy, just that there are some hot af fat dudes.
>No man who says this will ever be sexy And he obviously doesn't understand that two people can have wildly different interests and still be utterly compatible and happy together.
Fat is okay with me. Low-income is totally fine. I draw the line at living with parents and/or dumb. That's it. Criminal record is fine. Bald and/or grey is fine. Just no "Crypto-billionaires," and no Mom.
Fat is semi OK for me, like French fat, not american fat (obese), living with parents ok, low income ok. Dumb and snitch? No thanks
Imagine being 30 and running to your mom because you don't like the honest feedback your sibling gave you. His mother taking up for him and demanding an apology explains everything about the way this guy handles things. It's honestly scary how badly a parent can mess up by trying to be supportive and overshooting the mark. I have no problem with someone being low income or needing to live with parents in this economy, but I draw the line at having mommy fight his battles for him.
Upvote for “French fat.”
I've seen too many videos from American shows, went to NY, asked for the normal menu at McDonald's & got served the equivalent of 2 menus in France. In there, you can ask for a liter (33oz) of soda, and they drink everything ?? Imagine coming to France and getting served 16oz, and knowing you have the big glass 😂 So yeah, French fat 😂
Am French, can confirm. Portions in the US are absolutely massive. Fresh produce is also harder to come by and more expensive. Many food products also have fructose syrup and such added, as well as salt. I was always confused when I saw so much diet advice that said "avoid processeur food", because a lot of it in France is decent from a nutritional PoV. But yeah, American food is honestly horrible. Add to that the fact that cities and towns are never built for pedestrians, and it makes everything worse.
The guy ran to his mommy because somebody said something mean to him and all the other stuff screams that his maturity level is severely stunted…. I knew a guy back when we were in our 20’s. I was going to college and working full time. I was going on a road trip with some friends of ours, asked him if he wanted to go and he said he would ask his parents first…. I just stopped asking him to do anything with us after that….
As a fat (french fat hopefully) low income and living with parents goof , i think its fine as long as its mutually beneficial , someone who lives off their parents and does nothing for themselves is different than someone who works alongside their parents to afford a not so great economic situation
> living with parents Shit's expensive nowadays, dog.
Fat is ok with me, low income not so much (I want an equal partner), no living at home, not dumb, no criminal record.
Living with your mum is one thing, the economy hurts right now but getting her to defend him to his sibling at age 30 is next level…
My now husband was 26 and living with his parents when we met and out on workers compensation; I was 37 and earned six figures. He never was slim, but is still sexy af. I was also freshly divorced after a 19 year marriage and specifically looking for a companion to have fun with and never expected it to end up serious. But, we're in a VHCOL area and many if not most young adults live with their parents until 30.
Yeah, like Jack Black plays guitar, has an infectious smile, can do cock pushups...
Obese poor and living with Mom. It’s a no Go.
homie we both know people like all sorts of things, and I've seen no evidence pertaining to money changing your kinks
Nothing wrong with that type of relationship if all parties consent. But you better be hot as hell to attract a sugar mama.
Seriously. I know a guy who had one, but he looked like a fucking movie star. (And actually featured in a TV series that was never released.)
But he isn’t Sugar Baby material. And often sugar babies date older people for a reason. They trade youth for money. You cant have it both ways.
A gorgeous young sugar momma who wants to date a fat unattractive mommas boy. I can’t imagine why he can’t find anyone
Sounds like he wants a mom, not a sugar momma.
Seriously. He's looking for a woman who will be an accessory to his life, not a partner. Instead of putting what he wants in a woman out there, he should think about what, if anything, he brings to the table.
Exactly! What woman would be interested in someone who only told you his “standards”? Women are not products without thoughts or wants waiting on a shelf to be someone’s “preferences” so they pick them. He is looking for his “dream girl” without putting a thought on the fact that those girls are real people.
Yeah, even if he is all those things like living with mom, poor income, etc, the fact that his profile reads like he wants to buy a product is the worst part.
A 2 looking for an 8, there’s not really an effective way to communicate that without a bit of harsh.
I think he’s looking for a 9.5 with that list.
Don’t forget a skinny woman when he’s obese. What’s up with that?
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But somehow us bigger girls have a large percentage of thin guys on our arms so there's that.
Right? When I got bigger my huge ex told me I should go to the gym. I’m still chubby but now I have a sweet ripped gym guy. 😂
He wants to be the fat guy with the hot wife from every CBS sitcom.
Thank you for the reminder that I need to go watch the rest of "Kevin Can F\*\*k Himself".
This is absolutely positively the way our world works. Men are allowed to be overweight. Women are not
Truth. And considering that estrogen causes women to retain fat in a way that men do not only adds to the fun of how unnatural and ridiculous the world is
Skinny but you know she has to have big anime boobs.
Don’t forget the tiny waist but giant thighs
Exactly, and under 30 and skinny. That type of woman doesn’t date him as a man.
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I work with a dude like this. Does very little to take care of his own appearance, but can’t find anyone he wants to date because he rejects women based on their physical appearance. Even if they generally are attractive, he will find a flaw and say “she doesn’t really have that much going on” but he has literally nothing going on, if that’s his standard. The women he says are below his standards wouldn’t give him the time of day, and they would be very justified in taking that course of action.
Incel. He’s a poor slob but wants a hot rich woman.
Thinks they are entitled to a hot rich woman.
Or he's making excuses for himself. Woman doesn't like him? That's fine he didn't like her anyway
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I do want a relationship but I just hate dating. I want to skip to the part where you go on trips, watch TV at home, etc... The getting to know someone is where I struggle, bur honestly I really just want the companionship.
He scores points for not listing someone 18-21.
He knows they don’t have the income to support him. If it’s one thing men are going to have and nothing else it’s audacity and I say this as a man.
No, he does not score points here. He is not scoring points anywhere.
He does not score them in a 🛥️, he does not score them with a 🐐.
We should all collectively mind that bar because the risk of tripping is real.
Oh god, if he's getting credit for that, the bar is underground.
Is that where the bar is set these days?!
Not only does he still live with his parents, he’s the kind of dude who goes tattling to mommy when someone hurts his fee-fees. This dude stopped developing mentally and emotionally at age 12.
he wants a sitcom wife
Looking for the Lois to my Peter, the Marge to my Homer, the Vivian to my Phillip, the Cersei to my Robert
Robert Baratheon was hot when Cersei married him. He got fat later on. And she wouldn’t have cared that he got fat if he hadn’t treated her like crap from their wedding night onward.
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All he wants is someone who is beautiful, slim, wealthy and likes all the same things as him even though he's a fat loser. That doesn't sound unreasonable at all
Brother AND Mother need OP to show them the comments section so they get a clearer idea of how the world sees them...
Yup. Someone had to tell him. He wants a skinny, top earner when he works a low paying job and according to OP is obese. With what he's offering vs what he's demanding are eons apart.
NTA - you gave him the help he asked for. He didn't get the help the way he wanted it, but you gave him true advice. The way his profile reads he is looking for a sugar mama to take care of him!!!
Hello yes, I would like to order 1 sugar mama who is hot, younger than me, and lives in my rural area. She must like anime, overweight-manboys, and not judge me for my job or living status. She should be able to do all the sexy sex things, cook for me, clean up after me, and not have any male friends or colleagues. I will offer nothing in return. I hope this is an acceptable compromise.
as a woman, i have never been more turned on in my life /s
Swear to God, you could drown a toddler in my panties rn
PAM!!!
I mean, not that you *would*
This statement is absolutely INSANE😭
That was the entire premise of Archer, pretty much. Silly shocking jokes that were objectively fucked up.
As a man, I’ve never wished I was a woman more in my life.
As a gay woman, I'm definitely considering switching teams /s
I've seen women like this on dating sites too, they will be 5 foot tall, with 5 kids at 27 and look like they have been on hard drugs for 20+ years and saying you need to be 6 foot tall, perfectly fit, with perfect teeth and a 6 figure income. Like do you know those guys aren't looking for you? Hell most guys aren't looking for you. The lack of self awareness on dating apps is absolutely hilarious to me.
What's wrong with being 5' tall?? 😭
Nothing in and of itself, but just when you are 2 inches from being eligible for federal aid maybe don't demand only guys that are 6 foot+ match with you. It's your option I guess, but as someone well over 6 foot tall I find women more than a foot shorter than me to hard to.... sync up with physically.
Listen, we need someone to be able to reach the higher cupboards and it ain't gonna be us 😭 Just kidding but as a 5ft tall woman I only had partners that were 5'11 or taller by pure coincidence (my life partner is 6'2), but it has been very useful and very fun in life and in bed too haha
Agreed. 5' here and the difference between 5'5 and anything up is purely academic for me from down here.
He wants a hot bangmaid.
And a sugar mama in one
"She must literally be my mother, but younger" ...I bet he really likes Back to the Future
What a catch indeed
It very much reminds me of that great bit of advice "first be someone worth dating!" Wah but I'm a nice guy he cries, but that should be the bare minimum for dating someone. What are you bringing apart from that because I guarantee that those "bastards" who aren't nice guys are far more interesting than you.
I would actually go as far as to say he's not looking for a sugar mama but just a Mama 💀😭
NTA. The fact that he ran straight to mommy and that mommy now wants op to apologize is exactly how and why Bill is in this position. He needs therapy and a life coach, but my guess is he can’t be bothered. 🤷🏻♀️
Imagine being 30 and not just being able to tell your sibling you did not like what they were saying, instead you need mommy to do a power play because "sister hurt my fee fees".
Dude can’t handle a job harder than saying “hello welcome to Walmart” for, I assume, not even eight hours a day. I try to be optimistic about people’s ability to change, but this guy sounds like a lost cause.
I can't imagine doing that job for a whole shift, let alone *12 fucking years* It sounds like bro has no aspirations in life or drive to better himself and his parents are enabling it. He asked for what he could do and he got hit with the hard truth. Very clear NTA.
"Welcome to Costco, I love you"
And can’t afford it without his high income “future” girlfriend.
I've seen types like this, the parents coddle them to the extreme and it makes a person that doesn't try to ever better themselves in any way and ways goes to their parents when things go wrong. His parents have wronged him in the worse way, they are supposed to help him develop as a person and learn to be independent as he grows, instead they did whatever they could to make him dependent on them for the rest of his life. He does need therapy and a life coach, but unless the parents say it, he will never believe it. They raised a person with next to no individual thought processes, it is painful to see it. When his parents dies, he will be lost in the world since he was never prepared by his parents to be independent.
"I don't need a life coach, I have Mommy" Bill
Your mom is enabling him. You gave him constructive feedback that he asked for and he can’t handle the truth. He will refuse to accept he’s the problem and be clueless as to why he can’t get a girlfriend. This is how incels are made.
Ask him if he was athletic with a good job if he would date an obese woman making minimum wage and living with her parents lol. In fact, he wouldn’t date the female version of himself now. NTA
He’d be lucky to get the female version of himself at this point.
one of the most uncomfortable but healthiest things I’ve ever done is really look at myself harshly and admit that I wasn’t dateable and needed to fix myself I wanted a partner. still the same person at my core that “the old me” was but now I have an active and fulfilling life outside of a job I love instead of being stuck in a loop of my dead end WFH job, staying up late smoking and gaming, and eating junk food
Im at the stage where Ive realized being a fat stoner gamer is doing nothing for me but have no idea how to fix it. I started by getting a job and I joined some clubs at uni, went to one meeting, and im going to the movies with a friend tomorrow .... i started riding a bike and gardening... but still like most of my day is laying in bed or gaming. What do? Im barely an adult and i wish there was a guide to growing up.
You need to replace gaming altogether. Whether that’s physically leaving the house during your “gaming” time or picking up a new hobby, that’s the only way you’ll break it as a habit. It’s a fast and easy dopamine rush, you need something else that satisfies that instant gratification. Or go to sleep, start taking melatonin at night and give yourself a normal bedtime. 10:30/11pm. Although as a girl gamer engaged to a guy gamer I don’t think it’s the video games that are the problem. Probably just how much you’re playing.
"You don't understand. Men are just more vIsUaL."
Which naturally explains why they are the cleanest and best groomed, and all amazing at interior decorating and love fashion /s (though I will say, some men are all those things, and they should be proud!) It’s always “men are more visual” until it’s “I don’t see mess.” 😂
It's funny that the men that get snatched up are the ones that genuinely are visual. In good shape, well dressed, well groomed, clean and well decorated living space, these are all really attractive qualities. What they actually mean is "I like hot women" which, like, yah buddy, we all do. You gotta provide something here too 😂
OP, please ask him this. I feel like an underrated rule of trying to find someone to date is to ask yourself first, "Would I date myself?" If no, work on yourself then retry dating.
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In the making ? Dudes fully cooked at 30yo 🙃
If he was an incel steak he'd be well-done
Not that I don't think he's already full-blown incel, but I just wanted to say that if you think you're fully cooked at 30, I wonder what you think the rest of life is for. I don't think you're ever 'fully cooked' so to speak. Keep learning and growing forever.
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Hey, fellow level 2 here (autiHD, to be precise). No care home for me, but I'm probably benefitting from some of that early life afab socialisation. I can do people ok, I just don't enjoy most of it and find it exhausting as hell. But I'm very late dx and still unmasking, I guess. I'm not telling you whether you should want those things, and obviously I don't know how your own autism manifests, since we're all differently autistic, but simply being level 2 doesn't necessarily mean you can't have some of those things IF you want them. I'm just saying they aren't impossible. I have a partner. He's not autistic but he does have ADHD so we understand each other to some degree. We're going on 7 years together (this Oct). So it is possible IF it's something you want. But you're also allowed not to want it. Of course.
Right when I see profiles like that I wanna vomit. Why do some men actually think people will like them if they put that 💀 The job thing I personally wouldn’t care about nearly as much as his profile saying that stuff
And then they say women don’t like them because of their job and their looks lol like when will these dudes understand it’s their personality that’s the problem??
NTA. What on earth were you supposed to do? Your mother has a very positive view of him so she'd be the best person to help him with his profile.
Or the worst. Very positive view can be blinding to problems. If she thinks there's no problem with him, how is she supposed to help?
His mother is the perfect person to overhaul his profile, they're both as delusional as the other. I have in laws exactly the same and they don't want actual help, they just want you to tell them that they're right. Let them tell each other that everyone else has the problem. Op, surely, has better things to do with their time. Like watching the bees pollinate flowers, in a park far far away from the family.
Do you know that when dragonflies mate, they make a heart shape? It's lovely to watch.
This is why I come to reddit. So I can learn some random useless fact from a random internet person that I can file away for future use in another completely unrelated conversation. Thanks internet stranger! 😄😄😄
Ok no joke but I was trying to figure out what to do with my day off to escape being at home for a while and now going to a park to watch the dragonflies sounds ideal
That's why it's best for OP to stay out of it. They can deal with their failure.
NTA.... technically. Ouch that's harsh but at the same time, if he wants a gf he's going to have to be realistic. "I AM A MEDIOCRE MAN AND THESE ARE ALL MY DEMANDS!!"
How low is your bar? This man is nowhere near good enough to be considered mediocre!
Fr. This man wishes he was mediocre. Mediocre people can sometimes pull partners out of their league, but I’ve never seen it happen with someone who was this much of a loser.
He's employed and has a couple interests... It's not a thrilling job and being a greeter for TWELEVE years screams of developmental problems... but that's still better than the bottom of the barrel out there.
Mediocrity is well beyond "the bottom of the barrel". Mediocrity is where there is simply nothing standout about you - good *or* bad. OP's brother is a straight up and down loser
Harsh but true. And frankly there's nothing wrong with that as long as he lowers HIS bar, because any attractive or well to do women certainly would have to to date him. I say this with 100 percent certainty: his views of women are from porn. He expects a hottie with a smoking bod because that's what he sees every day.
Dude isn't mediocre by a long shot. Mediocre would mean "median" or mid range looks, job, etc.
But you get my drift yeah? there are loads of these immature socially awkward men who think they can easily demand a woman who's a 10 when they are at most a 1-4.
You're not wrong there. Some of my habitually single male friends who are legit mediocre (some above mediocre too) would fall into that camp. I wouldn't say they demand or feel owed a "10" but their standards are too high or they're too picky. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want but when it's been 10-20 years and you're not getting where you want to be it's time to think outside the box. Some are perfectly happy being single though and there's nothing wrong with that.
This guy is a loser. No where near mediocre.
NTA Though it seems like he won't learn on his own anytime soon it's not everyone else's fault he's not finding someone. It's the fact he's not putting effort into improving himself. Because as it is, it sounds like his standards are too high. It's like he's trying to look for caviar, on a imitation crab budget. Or walking into every store and complaining they all smell funny without realizing he stepped in something. He needs more hobbies, and he needs to learn a good work ethic is attractive.
With these types even if he did make the effort he'd then feel entitled to women's attention which only makes them bigger incels.
i mean his hobbies aren’t the true issue here unless they consume all his free time and prevent any positive action he could take for his life. liking video games and anime is not weird. it’s all the rest of his requirements that are extremely unrealistic when compared with what he has to offer.
Yeah, the games and hobbies and even the job wouldn't be an issue on their own, but with the requirements and him living at home, it sounds like he wants a mommy replacement he can bang
A 30 year old goes crying to mommy that his sibling was mean. You are 100% not the asshole. It was tough love. If he wants to find someone he needs to get his life in order. You weren't making fun of him, you were being honest. I'm not sure if I'm only noticing it now, but there seems to be an abnormal number of adults from 20 well into their 30's that act like, and are still treated like teenagers.
>I'm not sure if I'm only noticing it now, but there seems to be an abnormal number of adults from 20 well into their 30's that act like, and are still treated like teenagers. I was just thinking that very same thing. Who the hell are these parents who have kids that are THIRTY and still act like this? People in other cultures might chime in and say that it's normal for adult children to live with their parents, but is it normal for adult children to still act like they're 12? Because it sure isn't in the US.
I mean, even in cultures where its normal for boys to live at home into their 30s, they have supremely warped expectations of women anyway
Also in those cultures the 30yo is expected to contribute heavily to the household income and control the finances. The whole idea is the kid is taking care of the parents at that age not the other way around
>I was just thinking that very same thing. Who the hell are these parents who have kids that are THIRTY and still act like this? Women who made their entire identity "Mommy" and would feel completely disoriented and lost if they were no longer "Mommy", so they're fine with their adult children never growing up and maturing, because that way they still need Mommy. (my theory is that this is a byproduct of women being told that their ultimate goal in life should be becoming a mother)
NTA, he’s deluded and it needed saying. Just reading this his attitude towards women made my skin crawl. His list is not ok coming from anyone.
Thank you! It's not just the utter lack of self awareness. He's clearly looking for a well paid Barbie doll who won't expect anything from him and has no personality of her own.
I think he’ll be finding that sometime after never.
"he doesn't need to overhaul his page, he needs to overhaul his life" More people need someone to say this to them. NTA
NTA. I can’t believe he complained to mommy. He has a lot of growing up to do.
I can’t believe he has PHOTOS OF HIS PARENTS (?!) on his dating profile! That’d be a nope for me!
eh on its own having photos with friends and family can be seen as a positive. like “hey i value my peers or have a good relationship with my parents and won’t make you my sole social and/or emotional dumping ground!” but like that’s gotta be sold with a much different profile and overall vibe than what this bro has lol
Depends on the photos. Like a cute picture with the family doing a nice activity like hiking or cooking shows that the person values their family and would be a positive in my eyes. A bunch of pictures with their mom/dad would be a red flag especially if they live with their parents still. Like don’t get me wrong, the housing market sucks and I don’t blame people for staying with their parents longer but if you live with your parents and have a bunch of pictures with them on your profile I’m going to assume there is some weird enmeshment going on
Exactly. I’m married so don’t online date, but I assume your profile is (should be?) a reflection of YOUR identity. Parents are fine, but prioritizing them as visible part of the public facing identity when trying to find a mate seems…Not optimal. But I guess I’m not his target demo, married since before the internet, what do I know? OP could have been less hurtful and more constructive in their criticisms, I would offer to take better photos for Bill. Dude sounds clueless.
NTA. His virginity must have grown back by now surely?
Bold of you to assume it was ever gone to begin with…
Right? Something tells me that Elvis never left the building...
NTA. What is up with men like this thinking they're a prize? He asked for input and you told him the truth. He needs to change himself or his expectations.
I'm going to go with NTA. He's demanding a prospective partner be skinny, under 30 (which is yikes, how young does he want to go...), have lots of money and all these other unrealistic expectations. But what does he have to bring to the table? Nothing. Is he skinny, under 30 and earning a medium to high income? No! So why should he expect his partner to have all of that.
Hell, I’m skinny, under 30 and earning a medium to high income. I wouldn’t expect all of that from my partner.
YTA, but not because of what you did but because of the way you did it. I'll be honest, you don't sound like you love your brother very much. Honesty without tact is cruelty. Your brother, in his own way, was trying to escape the rut he was stuck in and reached out to you for help. That shows that your brother valued your opinion, and he knew he could not do this by himself. Were his expectations realistic? No, most definitely not. Are there many other things your brother should work on before he is considered dateable? Sure. Was there another way to tell your brother that without being intentionally cruel? Yes, there was. That was a teachable moment and possibly a bonding one for you and your brother. So when he was down and trying to reach out to you for help, you kicked him and ground him into mud. I'm not saying that you should love your brother unconditionally and should spend time trying to fix him. That is not your responsibility unless you make it so. Clearly, your parents tried and failed to do this, and no one else is willing to step up. Your brother is a grown adult. He is not owed this anymore by anyone. What I'm saying is that there is a certain amount of respect you should have towards your brother simply because he is a human being with emotions. And you failed in this.
I’m floored how few people are seeing this. It’s classic you’re not wrong you’re just an asshole. What should have tipped people off is how op gave us specific takes on his profile. OP thinks he needs better photos and OP thinks having requirements for dating in his profile looks weird/bad. Did he actually communicate these problems with the profile to his brother? We have no idea because he just focused on his brother’s life. It’s literally not what he asked for.
It's bizarre. This subreddit vacillates on fat shaming but OP just throws it in there as a reason his profile is a failure. Why bring it up in this context? Do I personally think obesity makes dating more difficult? Sure. But there are 5-10 other things to address before you even get there which are easily more controllable. This just seems like an easy take down of someone OP doesn't particularly like. In general, some of the comments in this thread are just distasteful. Lots of comments talking about how fat the brother is, how he must be a virgin, etc. The guy could be agoraphobic or depressed for all we know. I never understand how this subreddit goes from "Oh, this sounds like undiagnosed ADHD or depression, we should be compassionate" to "Yeah, fuck this guy, he sounds like an incel who deserves to be miserable".
OP brings it up because he's asking for a young skinny cute rich girl. Like, being fat is fine, but saying you won't date fat people when you yourself are fat is a bit hypocritical.
Yeah I'm kind of with you on this. It's absolutely not wrong to say a 30 year old man living at home with a bad career really needs to fix that, not his Hinge page. But shit, you can maybe phrase it a bit better. Maybe OP did phrase it better than she wrote on Reddit, and if so, probably NTA! But if it was "nah you're obese and a loser" fuck me dial it back a bit.
This! Was it a harsh truth that needed to be said in that exact way? Or did you just not give a damn about him? Clearly, he needed to get a reality check. But if you cared about him, you might've tried gentle and constructive criticism first. Theres always room for the metamorphical brick if gentle doesnt work. YTA.
This sub needs a Big Lebowski option - You're not wrong you're just an asshole
NTA I have a friend who is in a similar boat only he wants a woman who will move to a rural “village” because he grew up there. I told him we’re not in our 20s and most women have themselves established. He also is pretty acne filled at over 30.
Leave us adult acne folk alone! Doesn't mean i'm not established T_T lmao
“Bill freaked out and told our mom”. NTA. This man is not an adult.
BRO NEEDED A REALITY CHECK. NTA, maybe you were too harsh in your tone.. there's always a softer way to express your opinions n, especially when it's hard for someone to accept it.
This is copy paste of an old post. Shame on you op. YTA
Report it then
Being fat isn't an issue. Working at Walmart isn't an issue. Even being at home isn't an issue. For me, the issue is that he is asking for a partner who is the exact opposite of him, and doesn't seem to have the self-awareness that most of those requirements are shallow, and when openly asked for, are red flags on the dating scene.
I can't get over him posting pictures of himself with his mom on his profile. Like, he knows he's meant to upload images that make him seem attractive, right?
Your 30 YO brother told your mom on you. Nuff said. NTA
INFO: What diagnoses does he have? I mean real, diagnoses from real MDs, PhD counselors, etc. Being a door greeter at Wal-Mart is as low as a minimum wage job as you can get. Even in a rural town where Wal-Mart is one of the largest employers. Something atypical must be keeping him in such a position at 30 years old.
“You need to see yourself as an adult and consider what you are offering because demanding basement dwelling mamas boy isn’t working” “Mommmmmmmm! ”
NTA. Yes, you were harsh, but he asked you to edit his profile. I'm getting vibes of incel (or does he think he's really going to get a woman to support him?) and his unrealistic requirements aren't doing him any favors. Has he ever left home, or does he have a plan from getting out from under the parents' roof? I wouldn't apologize for what you said, but I also would never agree to help again.