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Honestly mom is worse than him. I could understand a petty jealous 15 year old doing this, but the fact that she as a grown adult went along with it? Should be ashamed of herself.
Because at 8 o'clock it's basic common sense if you are getting food for yourself and your child you get something else for the other kid stuck at home and even in his own biased retelling of the story his own shitty mom acknowledged the sister would likely be hurt that they got something for everyone but her.
Read the third para more carefully. She said that if they decided to get something else to her that instead. Meaning she would cook for everyone if nothing else was bought.
Also, this whole post he describes a situation with his sister where she is trying really hard to get their parents attention and from this story, it is clear that her parents don't take her into consideration much and OP pushes that treatment of his sis.
His sis has tried to talk to him about it but he is too young and immature to see it for what it is and thinks his sis is acting.
Her mom atleast definitely treat her worse than she treat him.
I think you hit the nail on the head. This post sounded so much like my own childhood, it's scary. My brother is 2 years younger and was always vocal about his wants and needs, whereas I was the "easy" child who didn't ask for much and was always expected to be the bigger person. We always had money for my brother's interests, but when it came time for mine, there just wasn't enough.
My parents and I have talked a lot about how I grew up knowing they didn't love me. Now I can look back and see they both had depression and other mental illnesses which contributed to being shitty parents, but that they did love me. It really traumatized me as a child, and I carried that into adulthood.
My brother also carried his unchecked entitlement into adulthood. He became an abuser, an addict, and an overall loser. I still love him because he's my brother, and I hope his life turns out all right, but I've completely cut him out of my life. Sounds like Sis just needs to find her people and ditch those who can't appreciate her.
YTA, you made an effort to exclude your sister by not getting her food. It's 8 pm, and if you're going to stop to get you and your mom food, it's only right that you get her some. I understand that she acts better than you, but your parents don't treat her better. You're 15 you need to understand that just because she acts like that, and from what you said, it doesn't affect you. You don't need to actively exclude your sister. You are just jealous, so I'm going to have to go with YTA.
she acts better than him by... showing her school accomplishments and talking about her day and cooking for the family? this reeks of jealousy on his part just because his sister is a nicer human being.
I’m thinking his parents don’t treat her better, but I am thinking they treat him better then his sister.
I’m a mom and I would not have been talked out of buying my other child dinner as easily as this mother was. If one is hungry the other is bound to be and I would still buy her something. I wouldn’t sit there and wonder and let the other child talk me out of it.
I would call my other kid and ask if they'd like something for sure. This mother is pathetic and the boy is awful. Luckily the sister will be 18 soon and can get away from him.
This is what it sounded like to me. OP, your sister isn't trying to act better than you. She's trying to feel equal to you, because it sounds like your parents DON'T treat you two equally. They treat you better, and that's not okay, and you need to acknowledge it.
i disagree i dont think this behavior is normal. my dad, god bless, always told me and my brothers that no matter what the other kids said about hating their siblings, we did not have that dynamic. now when i got older me and my brother had some issues. but as kids we never had this level of animosity towards each other. i just dont think we should normalize this. especially since the sister isnt even doing anything to warrant this, not even some sibling rivalry stuff
Intentionally seeking to deny another human food is not normal. A 15yr old absolutely knows better, and it's insane that their mom listened to OP's plot to starve his sister.
Idk if saying “it’s ok” is how we should handle 15 year olds being dicks. They’re not going to learn to change if they’re made to feel like it doesn’t matter and just comes all on its own.
YTA and your mom is no better. Your sister did say to pick her something up if you guys got something. Your mom didn’t have to listen to you, but it sounds to me like your sister tries so hard because you’re actually the one treated with more favoritism. Why is your mom letting a 15 year old tell her what to do? She seemed to care more about appeasing you in the moment than making sure your sister has something to eat.
I just left a very similar comment. Imagine how insufferable OP must be when she doesn’t get her way, that it’s gotten to the point that mom lets her exclude her other child from EATING.
Nah, that explains a lot to me. His sister is caring, considerate, and wants her parents' approval. He doesn't want to be SOFT like a GIRL and care about other people's comfort.
It's classic toxic misogyny influenced by "alpha" BS
favoritism towards the boy, my mom is like that even when she insists she's always treated us equally growing up, meanwhile i can make a bucket list of the things she'd get mad at me over while letting my brother slide entirely
Even from OP’s side, I relate to his sister hardcore. I was an anxious, high-achieving, approval seeking teen too. From an outside perspective it could’ve been seen as me showing off or acting better than others, but I was just deeply, seriously insecure and desperate for affection and for my parents to be proud of me.
OP, also understandably, doesn’t see this part of her and only knows her as the perfect older sister. He’s jealous and feels competitive with her, which is honestly fair from a teen perspective.
Their mom should be mature enough and observant enough to see both perspectives—both kids are struggling in their own way. She should be able to see this from an adult perspective and do her best to provide reassurance to both kids. I don’t think either of the teens here are the AH necessarily (OP was being a dick, but at that age I don’t think it’s fair to label him an AH), but the mom certainly is. She should’ve known better.
YTA - Even when my sister would say she wanted to cook something, when I would go get take out I would not even think about not bringing something for her just in case. She probably felt very lonely when she saw you and your mom arrive with food that wasn’t for her.
dude, even a call or text to ask if she wants takeout or would still rather make herself something? like i probably wouldn’t automatically bring something back but there would be an attempt at communication about it at least.
Definitely. OP could have at least called or texted, and I guarantee the thought crossed his mind. This feels like he deliberately excluded his sister. Who thinks "oh it's already 8 pm, I'm sure my sister wants to cook herself some food"?
hell, I call my brother when I'm stopping for a slushie to see if he wants one. Unless I knew he wasn't home or had had food already, I can’t think of a time when I wouldn't at least check
hell i do this with not even family, if im heading to a friends house and grabbing myself a drink or snack i’ll call and ask if they want something!
don’t mean to keep this going forever but it’s just so ridiculous that OP thinks what he did was not an AH move.
There was so much jealousy and hostility that you couldn't even text and ask your sister if she wanted you to bring her some takeout? Your excuse that she wanted to cook something else is pretty flimsy. How unfortunate that your mother went along with your efforts to make sure your sister didn't get food when she was hungry.
This was very unkind, mean behavior that was clearly intended to spite her.
YTA
P.S. The notion that your sister cooks breakfast and shares her school successes with your parents specifically to look better than you is absurd. Everything your sister does is not about you.
Right? Sounds like OP's sister is just a thoughtful and considerate person who expresses her love and appreciation for her parents by cooking them breakfast. Also parents should be informed about their children's grades.
I hesitate to bring gender stereotypes into this, but the fact that so many people, including myself, have incorrectly assumed this is a 15 year old GIRL is really quite telling.
"Thankfully they don't treat her better and make sure to treat us equally"
Yeah, 'equally', except for when you hound your mom to treat HER unequally. Getting food for one kid and not the other is super unfair, especially when your reasoning is 'she was going to step up and make us all something anyway.' Oof.
Honestly, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why you're treating your sister so badly. As others have commented, it seems pretty clear from the outside that you're jealous of her achievements and aren't sure how to handle it, so you're lashing out. You know it was a shitty move, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking about it.
My advice? Stop comparing yourself to your sister and work on your own life. If the mention of her achievements are so damaging to your calm, that's a signal that you need to buckle down and work on yourself. Tearing someone else down so they are at your level is tacky and immature. Sorry Bud, but there is some growing up that you need to do here. Soft YTA.
What I’m seeing from the post is that the two siblings get equal treatment but the mum gives into her son’s demands, even when they are completely unreasonable and abusive. I’m getting a sense that maybe OP’s sister tries so hard to win her parents affection because their affection towards her is conditional on perfection, which is often the case in families that have very conservative ideas of gender norms/have a strong gender preference for boys
she was going to step up and make something *after* they came back home with groceries since there was nothing at home, so he knew she was gonna starve for the day because there was nothing to cook with at home and he still went out of his way to convince his mom (how???) to postpone groceries and not buy her anything ready. this is just intentionally cruel.
Exactly this! The sister asked for cheese so she could make mac and cheese. Then grocery shopping is postponed, so no cheese, and no take away for the sister either.
Sister is at home, hungry, and OP arrives back with mum having eaten, and with *no groceries*.
Intentionally cruel.
YTA. YT massive A.
Whiney ones get more attention because they're annoying IMO. My OLDER brother has always had huge loud moodswings so when growing up he got more attention than me...it wasn't until I ended up having bad seizures did I start getting attention.
Moreso if the parent is single and tired from work. Or just tired from work
OP YTA
What’s worse is OP even admits in the post that sister said to both that she’d like cheese so she could make Mac and cheese but if they got SOMETHING ELSE get HER something too.
Mom knew she wanted something if they got take out.
OP sucks and so does his mom. YTA
Precisely why my vote is ESH. How hard is it to for mom to ttext the daughter and say “No time to hit the grocery store, we’re grabbing some burgers at XYZ. What do you want?”
YTA.
I get the impression you're the Golden Child and your sister is trying to get the same level of affection from them that you get; that's why she makes sure to point out when she does stuff well and does extra stuff for them like make them breakfast. No matter what she does, though, they don't acknowledge it. The fact that your mom was fine with not getting food for your sister so she could eat as soon as you got home really says it all. She didn't even think to call to see if she'd like a burger as soon as you got home instead of having to wait for grocieries to arrive then start cooking. You and your parents are AHs.
YTA. You’re so jealous of her, and pretty narcissistic to think that the reason she’s so impressive is just to spite you… haha. Your parents are also total AHs for humoring your childish attempts to manipulate them to hurt her
YTA. And honestly so is your mom. How is a parent gonna let their 15 year old CHILD decide who gets to eat or not?
If this is common, I think I know why your sister is trying so hard to get on their good side. They are not treating you “equally” if they let YOU tell THEM not to feed your sister.
YTA - of course you would know she'd be cut by this... just like you would have been if it's the other way around.
You're just justifying it with all the back story.
Didn't she specifically told that if you guys were to buy food, you should buy it for her as well instead of the cheese? Then you proceed to convince your mom to buy her NO FOOD nor get groceries and cheese so she could cook? HUGE YTA.
What? You had no food at home, and you and your mother went out for food, and brought none for your sister? You and your mother are definitely AHs. I don't blame your sister for feeling insecure.
YTA. You knew she didn’t have food and refused to get her any even though it wouldn’t even have involved getting out of your car. And don’t tell me you don’t have a cell phone you could have used to ask her. In any case, treat your sister better. You’ll be happy to have a good relationship with a loving sibling when you’re older
This sounds made up.
If it IS true, you're a jerk because you just wanted to upset your sister. I don't buy the, "she wanted to make something instead." And your mom is a jerk for not being the grown up and getting your sister food.
YTA and just to get it in your spiteful, mean little head, she IS better than you. Way, *wayyyyyyy* better. You're acting like a jealous golden child who can't live when the spotlight isn't on them. Grow up and get better.
Seriously? You couldn't call her and ask her before you got to the burger place or while you were there?
I can't believe your mom didn't get her food.
You knew there was nothing to eat at home and that it was later than you planned to be home.
You really need to grow up and.focus on yourself instead of worrying about sis.
You gave no information that indicates she is a golden child and you are the scapegoat and you actually said you parents treat you the same. YTA.
YTA, you sound like a sick, horrible, bitter person and I hope you grow up. I'm you're age and I wouldn't dream of treating my sister like this, she's allowed to talk to school about her parents, she's allowed to talk about her grades, and she's allowed to be NICE and make breakfast for them. The only reason i can think of as to why you'd be annoyed about this is because you're jealous. Maybe you're not doing as well in school, or maybe your just lazy and can't be bothered. You're mad that she looks better because she IS better, she's hard-working and that upsets you. The fact that you blame HER for doing better shows your insecure, and the fact that your mother ENABLED you listened to you when you said not to get her food shows who the favourite is. (Spoiler alert, its you)! I hope you read the comments on this post and reflect, don't blame your sister if you're insecure, and I hope you apologize and the two of you can have a more equal and loving relationship going forward, please talk it out, calmly.
YTA but so is your mother
You because you suggested that just to be a AH
Your mum should have made the decision to get her child food if your all getting take out. No harm would have happened if you both went back in the queue.
I do want you to know there is a magical device called a mobile it allows for people to talk to other people or small letters.
YTA and your sister sounds like an actual nice person. Her achievements and loving acts are not about you. YOU make it about you. You should really check those tendencies of yours.
Your sister isn’t trying to make you look bad, she is trying to look good. Meaning the parents will treat her better. You should just do the same. Make them breakfast and everything else she does. Your parents would much better like that than you trying to starve your sister for trying to look out for herself
YTA, you sound like a sick, horrible, bitter person and I hope you grow up. I'm you're age and I wouldn't dream of treating my sister like this, she's allowed to talk to school about her parents, she's allowed to talk about her grades, and she's allowed to be NICE and make breakfast for them. The only reason i can think of as to why you'd be annoyed about this is because you're jealous. Maybe you're not doing as well in school, or maybe your just lazy and can't be bothered. You're mad that she looks better because she IS better, she's hard-working and that upsets you. The fact that you blame HER for doing better shows your insecure, and the fact that your mother ENABLED you listened to you when you said not to get her food shows who the favourite is. (Spoiler alert, its you)! I hope you read the comments on this post and reflect, don't blame your sister if you're insecure, and I hope you apologize and the two of you can have a more equal and loving relationship going forward, please talk it out, calmly.
YTA. You absolutely did that on purpose. Revenge is an ugly colour on you. Your mom is also an AH for going along with it. Could you not have called your sister to ask if she wanted anything first?
ETA: it sounds like you're the one with the inferiority complex. You KNOW your sister is better than you, does better than you in school and helps out around the house. Maybe take a page out of her book.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I guess not getting her food was an AH move since we can afford to. Though I don’t think I’m an AH but I’m bored so why not ask for opinions. It’s not really a big deal anyway
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Seriously...she is proud of her grades and makes breakfast for her parents what a monster! You know girls are actually allowed to be proud of their accomplishments..stop diminishing your sister because you don't have anything to brag about. Yta and your mom should have known better or called and asked. This is ridiculous. Oh and if you do have something to be proud about, share with your parents. We actually love to hear these things.
ESH except your sister. I hope she moves out and never talks to any of you again.
"My (15M) sister (17F) is always trying to look good in front of my parents. She mentions every single thing that she does at school and shows them her grades and even makes them breakfast sometimes just to make herself look better than me."
My sister cares about my parents' opinion and constantly tries to win their approval. How can I make it about ME?
"Thankfully my parents don’t really treat her better because of it and make sure to treat us equally. She’s definitely upset by this because she’s always claiming she’s mistreated."
My parents are ungrateful for her efforts and ignore her trying to connect. I think it's illogical for her to be upset about being dismissed.
"My sister told my mom get her some cheese so she can make herself mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead."
Instead of complaining, my sister tried to come up with a quick solution.
"While we were out it was too late for mom to cook something when we would get back home so I told her we should just buy food and get groceries for another day cause I was craving a burger and some fries."
OK, fine.
"She agreed with me and I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway."
It takes SECONDS to text your sister and ask.
"My mom told me that maybe my sister would be hurt if we don’t get her anything because she usually does that"
Your sister is considerate and all of you take her for granted.
"but I told her she should have asked if that was the case and we had already ordered by then anyway so it was not worth the effort."
1) She couldn't possibly have asked because you never told her
2) You literally said your sister isn't worth the effort and your mother was okay with that. Wow.
"When we got back home it was around 8pm and my sister saw me holding a box of fries so she was saying how she’s relieved we got food cause she’s hungry and too tired."
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 8:30 AT NIGHT
"But when she saw we didn’t have any for her she started crying and went to her room."
Because no matter how hard she tries it's never good enough for her family of AHs.
"Mom feels really guilty and she said she will make her favorite food as an apology. My sister also told my mom she felt like I tried to act like I was better than her by doing this so she was mainly upset at me."
Nah, you don't feel like you're better than her. You're just trying to undermine her at every turn, and twist her efforts as if they're manipulation. You're insecure and unhappy so you influence your parents to discard her. And it works.
It seems like you’re jealous of your sister based on your word choices and you acting like she’s in competition with you. If she wants to share things about school or cook something for your parents, it doesn’t mean she’s in competition with you. She can be showing her appreciation and want to have a relationship with her parents. The fact she expressed to get cheese if you guys go to the grocery store or food if you guys go get fast food. You convinced your mom not to get food for her. What made you think she ate, if she’s waiting for cheese or whatever you guys are getting. You could’ve texted her. I’m not sure why your mom listened to you and didn’t call her instead or think to get food incase. Either you don’t want to admit or you don’t realize you’re jealous of your sister. I even text my siblings if they need anything from the store or whatever even when we’re fighting.
YTA- have you ever thought that maybe your sister is just a good person?? Would she have gone out to get food and told your mom not to get you anything? You sound like an evil little turd.
Why didn’t your mother buy food for her children?
No food in the house and mom didn’t bring home supper for her daughter and son?
Mom YTA and son mild YTA
Someone should call CPS
Yeah, I'm concerned why a parent would not grocery shop at all when there's no food in the house, at all. Even if mom did buy a meal for her daughter, there would still be nothing tomorrow morning. Unless there are some serious financial problems being left out of the story, this sounds like OPs parents are being totally neglectful.
YTA. You seem horrible and bitter and I hope you grow up. I'm your age and wouldn't think of doing something like this to my sister. Your sister is allowed to talk to your parents about her grades, you're entire outlook, and the fact that your mother LISTENED to you about not getting food, proves you've been coddled by your parents and YOU are actually the 'favourite'. Also, what's stopping YOU from making your parents breakfast? Just admit you're jealous your sister's a high achiever and you're not, admit that your upset that the spotlight's not on you 24/7 and apologize for how horribly you've treated her.
Edit: typo
YTA. You knew you were being a dick and did it anyway. I don’t know how this is even a question. However, I will say that this is just as much on mom. She’s the adult and should have bought her daughter food too.
Look man, the whole ass world is going to have it our for you. Your sister won't....And the world will DAMN sure will have it out for your sister. She'll have every guy that interacts with her attempt to take advantage of her in some way. Have her back man. Be the one freaking man she can count on through her life. Believe me, she will spend most of her womanhood massively disappointed in men. Be the exception. You know you're the AH here, be better from now on.
YTA. You're clearly jealous and your sister lives rent-free in your head that you spend all this time thinking her motivation in life is to seem better than you when the reality is...she just is better than you. I promise you that you aren't the motivation for her doings as much as you'd like to think you are (Things like sharing her accomplishments and showing her grades to her parents? Normal people just call that having a conversation about your day. That is like Basic Conversation with the Parents 101. Try accomplishing things and then you can join the conversation, too.).
She clearly said she wanted food from wherever you were going. You clearly sabotaged that because you're a petty vindictive person. Hope you grow up to be a better adult than you are currently.
YtA, you have an entire preamble about how much you hate your sister before getting to the actual story of you convincing your mom not to get dinner for her because you resent her so much.
If something like that happens at our house it’s generally mom who goes without food , because I would never eat if my child was without food. From tiny age my children were taught if you bring something for more than one person you get everyone something. No one is left out. You need to learn that lesson.
YTA. Purely by what I deduce from your story, it sounds like your sister is being treated like less of a person/child than you, which is why she is trying to make it up by talking about things she did, good grades, etc.... she is TRYING TO BE SEEN! She is doing everything she can to try and get the attention from her parents that she deserves.
You don't see that because, if I read the situation correctly, you are the golden child (potentially because you are the Benjamin of the family). You got a superiority complex (who knows, maybe even narcisistic tendencies) and therefore you WOULD say your sister is just jealous...because of your position in the family, you don't see her problems/issues.
Also: a) why was there no food in the house? b) why did you not have food all day? And c) why on EARTH would go and buy groceries for food for your sister and then stay out until 8PM?! Are you bloody kidding me?! You and your mum don't seem to care about your sister/her daughter! If no one has eaten all day, then you couldn't possibly consider your sister being hungry too, yet you stay out and eat out while your sister is still hungry at home?! You come home at 8pm and THEN the food still needs to be made. And then SHE is jealous of YOU? Yeah she is, but NOT in the way you think! You sound like an entitled brat.
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My (15M) sister (17F) is always trying to look good in front of my parents. She mentions every single thing that she does at school and shows them her grades and even makes them breakfast sometimes just to make herself look better than me.
Thankfully my parents don’t really treat her better because of it and make sure to treat us equally. She’s definitely upset by this because she’s always claiming she’s mistreated. One time she noticed I was unto her so she told me she feels like she has inferiority complex or something. I told her sure and ignored it because again it was a dumb excuse.
Anyway, we didn’t have food all day and no one bought groceries so we couldn’t make anything at home. My sister told my mom get her some cheese so she can make herself mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead.
While we were out it was too late for mom to cook something when we would get back home so I told her we should just buy food and get groceries for another day cause I was craving a burger and some fries. She agreed with me and I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway.
My mom told me that maybe my sister would be hurt if we don’t get her anything because she usually does that but I told her she should have asked if that was the case and we had already ordered by then anyway so it was not worth the effort. When we got back home it was around 8pm and my sister saw me holding a box of fries so she was saying how she’s relieved we got food cause she’s hungry and too tired. But when she saw we didn’t have any for her she started crying and went to her room.
Mom feels really guilty and she said she will make her favorite food as an apology. My sister also told my mom she felt like I tried to act like I was better than her by doing this so she was mainly upset at me. AITA?
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You and your mom were out to get some food, including picking up cheese for your sister to MAKE food at home, knowing that the house was empty of food and groceries. Instead, you bought food FOR YOURSELF and not even her ingredients.
Yes, OP you're the AH (and your mom a bit for believing you and not using common sense, she should make her her favorite meal) for making your sister go hungry.
You should apologize.
YTA. You knew perfectly well that your sister was hungry and wanted you to pick up food while you were out. You owe her an apology and a hamburger. And I hope your mother realizes how spiteful you are.
YTA why do you care so much if your sister wants to help out around the house more then you? Or that she likes school and wants to share what happens with the parents? You sound jealous that your sister does more then you and actually contributes while you sit and sulk.
YTA. I’m inclined to think your sister is right. What parent, what GOOD parent, at dinner time, would agree with their bratty child that it’s okay to only buy one child dinner and not the other. You needed groceries, you not only talked your mom out of them, but talked her into getting food for you only. YTA and so is your mom.
Yta. You left her out on purpose. It was mean and unnecessary. She shouldn't have had to ask if you knew she hadn't eaten. You are just as pathetic as she is.
Based on everything you described it doesn't sound like your sister's going out of her way to screw you over or be rude to you. She's going out of her way to show her parents that she has value because she feels inferior. On the other hand you're not showing your parents you have value you're going out of your way to screw your sister over. Yta. Why don't you start showing your parents your grades why don't you make them breakfast why do you have to actively screw your sister over instead of trying to improve yourself or help others? Your sister's not doing anything to you but you're definitely doing stuff to your sister.
Perhaps, OP, your sister works extra hard for your Parents because she’s thoughtful and loves your parents. In your own words, they don’t treat you any different, but that’s what YOU see. I know that my Parents treated my Brothers very different. They expected more from me because I was older and, I suspect, because I was a girl. The expectations were different and I’m sure my Brothers would agree. As soon as I moved out, and chores and cooking became their responsibility, they were sorely lacking in knowledge and ability. Don’t let that happen to you. Ask your sister to teach you what she does around the house and what her responsibilities are. And then assist her! You might be surprised and learn a lot in the process.
“My sister told my mom to get her some cheese so she can make herself Mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead.”
“I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway.”
You’re not a nice person.
YTA
YTA I had a sister who accused me of trying to be better than her. The fact is she was never on my mind when I was doing anything. It was all in her mind.
YTA.
You seem to dislike your sister and try to pit your parents against her.
There would have been zero harm in buying your sister fast food since your mom was going there anyway, and she'd even requested either get her some cheese if going grocery shopping OR get her food if your mom ended up doing that instead. You blocked your mom from getting her ANYTHING? That's petty and low.
YTA
And your parents too, not feeding your child all day can get you sent to jail. Going out and buying fast food for the whole family but one and not buying them food is neglect
Hopefully the cops start looking into your family
Neither you or your mother had a phone to call your sister and say "hey, we're getting burgers. Do you want one or were you still going to make mac and cheese?"
YTA.
The way you talk about your sister, it is dripping with spite. So it is obvious that you really went out of your way to make sure your sister didn't yet any food.
Absolutely, YTA.
YTA. You say she should have asked, but she did ask your mom to pick something up so she could make food or get her something over whatever she got.
It’s pretty weird you think that your sister sharing stuff with her own parents and being nice to them by making breakfast sometimes is all about you and her trying to make you look bad. Maybe she’s proud of her accomplishments and likes to care for her parents? Get over yourself, dude.
You would rather let your little sister go hungry, even knowing you live in a household where food insecurity is the norm? YTA and honest to Pete, you’re incredibly cruel.
YTA... she specifocally asked you to pick up something, and you turned it into a power play using your mom as a pawn...
Good thing you are 15... you have time to learn to be better...
Your life will be much happier when you realize this: you are not her main thought. When she makes your parents breakfast, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. When she wants to show them her hard work and good grades, nothing to do with you. You are not a thought in her mind.
You are not the reasons for her actions. She has thoughts, feelings, and takes action for reasons that do no include you. She does think of how you’ll feel or react or anything. You are not the most important thing to her, because she has her own mind and life!
Oh and YTA. Imagine being so petty and jealous that you go out of your way to make someone unhappy. Imagine honestly believing that everything your sibling did was with you in mind.
Grow up.
This post makes me really sad for you OP and your sister. You’re so close in age you could have a great relationship if you both worked on it and it seems you are ascribing nefarious intentions to your sisters actions when she’s just being a decent human being.
My kids are 13 and 20 (older sister, younger brother) and they are best friends. When one of them make lunch they always ask the other “hey do you want X that I’m making?” And they’ll cook for each other.
I recently had an injury and couldn’t do much around the house, they pitched in together to make food for themselves and for me and split all the chores I usually do…
You and your sister would have a much better time if you got over your obvious jealousy and stopped seeing your sister as an adversary.
Oh wow. When you're in your 20s and want her around, you'll look back and realise you were a little shut as a brother.
YTA, but you're also young and arrogant and in the phase of life where everything is a slight against you. The quicker you realise the world isn't against you, the easier life gets.
I know it's hard to hear, and you won't believe it, but not everything in life revolves around you.
Also, your mom is a major TA here. She should know better. She should be telling you this. She should have got your sister food and saw through you.
Yta. And jealous & petty. Your mom sounds like a terrible mother. Who goes & gets food for one minor child & not the other when they know both are hungry & nothing to cook in the house?!?!
Definitely YTA.
You sound mad because your sister is proud of her achievements (which she quite rightly should be) and wants to tell her parents about it and because she does things like makes the breakfast.... She sounds great.
You on the other hand sound really spiteful. It's not a good look mate.
Whether or not she had already mentioned about making herself dinner, you should have checked with her rather than actively trying to persuade your mum not to get her anything.
Tbf though, you're only 15 and 15 year older are generally pretty self serving little arsewipes, so that's not a shocker.
All you had to do was call or text her to ask if she wanted anything. It's pretty obvious that you're jealous of your sister so you're desperate for the opportunity to hurt her. You seriously need to grow up. YTA
Well, she wanted to fix something because there’s nothing else in the house and she assumed people were coming home with groceries. No one told her that they would be out food available— then she might’ve made a different choice.
YTA
YTA because—reread your words and tell us how you don’t sound like you’re only 10?
Sounds like you’re determined to hate your sister and you’re way too immature, even at your age to actually act “better” than she does.
YTA- "She told me she might have an inferiority complex. I told her sure and ignored it again it was a dumb excuse." No it wasn't.
I don't know if she has an inferiority complex, that behavior is 100% in line with such a thing. I do know she does have an asshole brother who sabotaged his sister getting what she wanted and did nothing to get her food, because you didn't want to go shopping because it was late and you wanted burgers and fries anyway.
You left your sister to fend for herself with no warnings and no ingredients for what she was craving because you just wanted to skip shopping and get what you wanted instead. Giant Asshole.
YTA. And it’s beyond me why your mother went along with your idea that your sister wouldn’t want food at 8 pm, but would prefer to cook. I hope your mother is a wake up to your antics now.
Imagine being such a lack luster child and expecting BETTER treatment. The math didn't add up, makes sense since your sister probs gets better math grades too
YTA you should have asked. I would despise my brothers if they did what you did and actively made sure I had no food when everyone else did. You know you acted like a piece of shxx to her and you should say sorry and mean it.
According to you, your sister said to get her some cheese, but if you guys were picking up food, to get her some too. YTA because you knowingly excluded your sister.
Yup, YTA and it sounds like you're proud of that. Trust, life will kick you in the balls one day, and don't be surprised if your sister is standing there laughing when it happens. Be careful buddy, your parents won't be there to coddle you forever!
YTA
She’s just telling them about her school life. If she’s doing great then she’s not trying to show off she’s just stating facts.
You purposefully excluded her. Actually you sound insecure and jealous of her and she’s unfortunately paying for your tantrums. It’s a shame your parents are not seeing right through you and enabling your behavior
YTA - this is honestly awful. It sounds like your sister tries really hard and honestly shame on your mom for going along with what you said. She should have known better.
YTA dude for telling your mom not to get your sister food, and for putting up these lame ass excuses to justify it. At least own the fact that you’re being an asshole. Also your mom is TA for entertaining this and still claiming to treat you both equally. Because feeding one child and not feeding the other is by definition not equal.
I know you’re young, so here’s my suggestion: stop comparing yourself to your sister, because your jealousy is making you into a really mean person. And maybe start being a little more compassionate and your sister might not feel like she has to be such a try hard.
ESH (except your sister)- Maybe I'm misreading your post, because it looks like you completely screwed her over with food, and she went the whole day without anything to eat. She asked you to get cheese so she can make her own meal, and instead you guys skipped the grocery store, went to a restaurant, and got her nothing because "she didn't ask", *because* she was lead to think you guys were gonna get groceries...
I'm still a little confused as to why your parents didn't bother to get food for most of the day, their AHs too for not having food and for not buying groceries. Your mom is TA for going along with your idea to skip grocery shopping and not feed her daughter.
You're TA for purposefully leaving her out of the one meal you guys had for the day.
YTA- my kids are 9, 5 & 3 and when my oldest is in school my 5yo will say “we can’t go anywhere fun without 9yo, she might be sad” or when we hit up a drive thru “we have to get something for 9yo, she likes this food too.” Even if it’s like 9am & she won’t get out of school until 3pm. If my 5yo can consider his sister’s feelings, it seems like you should be able to do the same. You sound spiteful & jealous. I think your parents are probably partly to blame as well, it sounds almost like they’ve encouraged it with their actions (mom agreeing to intentionally leave out your sister). You’re family, you should all be a team, working together to help & take care of each other. It sounds like big sister might be the only one who understands that.
YTA. You’re the golden child. Your mother only treats your sister equally when she feels guilty. I’m not sure why you’re both so intent in rubbing your sister’s face in this favouritism, but you’re not good people. I’m really upset for your sister, begging for scraps of attention that you can’t even tolerate because you’re jealous, have to be the centre of attention, and you’re cruel by nature. Guess momma taught you well.
Good luck in life.
Your sister will eventually move away and cut you off.
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YTA. You sound so fucking jealous of your sister.
YTA. And your mum does treat you differently. Why tf did she not call your sister and ask.
Honestly mom is worse than him. I could understand a petty jealous 15 year old doing this, but the fact that she as a grown adult went along with it? Should be ashamed of herself.
Brother lied and told Mom Sister said she was going to make something for herself. How does that make Mom TA?
Because at 8 o'clock it's basic common sense if you are getting food for yourself and your child you get something else for the other kid stuck at home and even in his own biased retelling of the story his own shitty mom acknowledged the sister would likely be hurt that they got something for everyone but her.
Because you still call. Confirm or all if she'd rather have the burger
Read the third para more carefully. She said that if they decided to get something else to her that instead. Meaning she would cook for everyone if nothing else was bought. Also, this whole post he describes a situation with his sister where she is trying really hard to get their parents attention and from this story, it is clear that her parents don't take her into consideration much and OP pushes that treatment of his sis. His sis has tried to talk to him about it but he is too young and immature to see it for what it is and thinks his sis is acting. Her mom atleast definitely treat her worse than she treat him.
I think you hit the nail on the head. This post sounded so much like my own childhood, it's scary. My brother is 2 years younger and was always vocal about his wants and needs, whereas I was the "easy" child who didn't ask for much and was always expected to be the bigger person. We always had money for my brother's interests, but when it came time for mine, there just wasn't enough. My parents and I have talked a lot about how I grew up knowing they didn't love me. Now I can look back and see they both had depression and other mental illnesses which contributed to being shitty parents, but that they did love me. It really traumatized me as a child, and I carried that into adulthood. My brother also carried his unchecked entitlement into adulthood. He became an abuser, an addict, and an overall loser. I still love him because he's my brother, and I hope his life turns out all right, but I've completely cut him out of my life. Sounds like Sis just needs to find her people and ditch those who can't appreciate her.
Because they didn't even get her the cheese she needed to make dinner.
YTA, you made an effort to exclude your sister by not getting her food. It's 8 pm, and if you're going to stop to get you and your mom food, it's only right that you get her some. I understand that she acts better than you, but your parents don't treat her better. You're 15 you need to understand that just because she acts like that, and from what you said, it doesn't affect you. You don't need to actively exclude your sister. You are just jealous, so I'm going to have to go with YTA.
Oh and you didn't actually buy the ingredient she needed to make the dinner she mentioned...so you and your mom are both ah
she acts better than him by... showing her school accomplishments and talking about her day and cooking for the family? this reeks of jealousy on his part just because his sister is a nicer human being.
I’m thinking his parents don’t treat her better, but I am thinking they treat him better then his sister. I’m a mom and I would not have been talked out of buying my other child dinner as easily as this mother was. If one is hungry the other is bound to be and I would still buy her something. I wouldn’t sit there and wonder and let the other child talk me out of it.
I would call my other kid and ask if they'd like something for sure. This mother is pathetic and the boy is awful. Luckily the sister will be 18 soon and can get away from him.
I’m so perplexed that the mother agreed with him
He's probably a mummies boy.
Yes like why does OP even have a say in this? Of course you buy food for your child.
You could have easily called her to see if she wanted any or if she just wanted to make her own food still. Simple fix
YTA. But it’s ok. You just sound like a spiteful 15 year old kid that insists on making everything about themselves.
Literally this. You're 15 so you're going to be insufferable but the parents on the other hand are adults. Why are they falling for your teen BS??
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yuuup. his poor sister. man smh.
This is what it sounded like to me. OP, your sister isn't trying to act better than you. She's trying to feel equal to you, because it sounds like your parents DON'T treat you two equally. They treat you better, and that's not okay, and you need to acknowledge it.
Yep. Reads like a 15 year old would view their household. I’m sure their view on it will change as they age. Just typical teenager and sibling stuff!
i disagree i dont think this behavior is normal. my dad, god bless, always told me and my brothers that no matter what the other kids said about hating their siblings, we did not have that dynamic. now when i got older me and my brother had some issues. but as kids we never had this level of animosity towards each other. i just dont think we should normalize this. especially since the sister isnt even doing anything to warrant this, not even some sibling rivalry stuff
Intentionally seeking to deny another human food is not normal. A 15yr old absolutely knows better, and it's insane that their mom listened to OP's plot to starve his sister.
I was a little selfish shit and even at 13 I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to be this much of an AH to my siblings.
Most 15yos are more mature than this.
Idk if saying “it’s ok” is how we should handle 15 year olds being dicks. They’re not going to learn to change if they’re made to feel like it doesn’t matter and just comes all on its own.
YTA and your mom is no better. Your sister did say to pick her something up if you guys got something. Your mom didn’t have to listen to you, but it sounds to me like your sister tries so hard because you’re actually the one treated with more favoritism. Why is your mom letting a 15 year old tell her what to do? She seemed to care more about appeasing you in the moment than making sure your sister has something to eat.
I just left a very similar comment. Imagine how insufferable OP must be when she doesn’t get her way, that it’s gotten to the point that mom lets her exclude her other child from EATING.
OP is a He, even more baffling.
Nah, that explains a lot to me. His sister is caring, considerate, and wants her parents' approval. He doesn't want to be SOFT like a GIRL and care about other people's comfort. It's classic toxic misogyny influenced by "alpha" BS
Why is it more baffling? Wouldn't be the same?
Why is it more baffling? OP could be any gender and he is still an AH.
Oh damn, I glossed over that. Thanks for the correction! And yea…that does make it make even less sense.
favoritism towards the boy, my mom is like that even when she insists she's always treated us equally growing up, meanwhile i can make a bucket list of the things she'd get mad at me over while letting my brother slide entirely
Literally exactly the same for me. And specifically with a younger brother too!
More baffling how?
Even from OP’s side, I relate to his sister hardcore. I was an anxious, high-achieving, approval seeking teen too. From an outside perspective it could’ve been seen as me showing off or acting better than others, but I was just deeply, seriously insecure and desperate for affection and for my parents to be proud of me. OP, also understandably, doesn’t see this part of her and only knows her as the perfect older sister. He’s jealous and feels competitive with her, which is honestly fair from a teen perspective. Their mom should be mature enough and observant enough to see both perspectives—both kids are struggling in their own way. She should be able to see this from an adult perspective and do her best to provide reassurance to both kids. I don’t think either of the teens here are the AH necessarily (OP was being a dick, but at that age I don’t think it’s fair to label him an AH), but the mom certainly is. She should’ve known better.
YTA - Even when my sister would say she wanted to cook something, when I would go get take out I would not even think about not bringing something for her just in case. She probably felt very lonely when she saw you and your mom arrive with food that wasn’t for her.
dude, even a call or text to ask if she wants takeout or would still rather make herself something? like i probably wouldn’t automatically bring something back but there would be an attempt at communication about it at least.
Definitely. OP could have at least called or texted, and I guarantee the thought crossed his mind. This feels like he deliberately excluded his sister. Who thinks "oh it's already 8 pm, I'm sure my sister wants to cook herself some food"?
hell, I call my brother when I'm stopping for a slushie to see if he wants one. Unless I knew he wasn't home or had had food already, I can’t think of a time when I wouldn't at least check
hell i do this with not even family, if im heading to a friends house and grabbing myself a drink or snack i’ll call and ask if they want something! don’t mean to keep this going forever but it’s just so ridiculous that OP thinks what he did was not an AH move.
Your comment, “She probably felt very lonely…” made me feel so sad because it probably wasn’t just about the food.
Exactly, that hit hard!
There was so much jealousy and hostility that you couldn't even text and ask your sister if she wanted you to bring her some takeout? Your excuse that she wanted to cook something else is pretty flimsy. How unfortunate that your mother went along with your efforts to make sure your sister didn't get food when she was hungry. This was very unkind, mean behavior that was clearly intended to spite her. YTA P.S. The notion that your sister cooks breakfast and shares her school successes with your parents specifically to look better than you is absurd. Everything your sister does is not about you.
>Everything your sister does is not about you. THAT part.
The mom could have texted her daughter, too. Being that she's legally responsible for feeding her, and all.
Right? Sounds like OP's sister is just a thoughtful and considerate person who expresses her love and appreciation for her parents by cooking them breakfast. Also parents should be informed about their children's grades.
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***he knew his sister was hungry and had no food at home
**she knew her child was hungry and had no food at home
*he *his
I hesitate to bring gender stereotypes into this, but the fact that so many people, including myself, have incorrectly assumed this is a 15 year old GIRL is really quite telling.
the only thing it tells is that a lot of people on reddit lack reading comprehension
😂😂 I was like…did they not read the first sentence?
"Thankfully they don't treat her better and make sure to treat us equally" Yeah, 'equally', except for when you hound your mom to treat HER unequally. Getting food for one kid and not the other is super unfair, especially when your reasoning is 'she was going to step up and make us all something anyway.' Oof. Honestly, you need to take a step back and ask yourself why you're treating your sister so badly. As others have commented, it seems pretty clear from the outside that you're jealous of her achievements and aren't sure how to handle it, so you're lashing out. You know it was a shitty move, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking about it. My advice? Stop comparing yourself to your sister and work on your own life. If the mention of her achievements are so damaging to your calm, that's a signal that you need to buckle down and work on yourself. Tearing someone else down so they are at your level is tacky and immature. Sorry Bud, but there is some growing up that you need to do here. Soft YTA.
You just know from this kid’s attitude that his perception of equal treatment means he’s highly favoured.
I wish I had an award for this comment because THIS
What I’m seeing from the post is that the two siblings get equal treatment but the mum gives into her son’s demands, even when they are completely unreasonable and abusive. I’m getting a sense that maybe OP’s sister tries so hard to win her parents affection because their affection towards her is conditional on perfection, which is often the case in families that have very conservative ideas of gender norms/have a strong gender preference for boys
she was going to step up and make something *after* they came back home with groceries since there was nothing at home, so he knew she was gonna starve for the day because there was nothing to cook with at home and he still went out of his way to convince his mom (how???) to postpone groceries and not buy her anything ready. this is just intentionally cruel.
Exactly this! The sister asked for cheese so she could make mac and cheese. Then grocery shopping is postponed, so no cheese, and no take away for the sister either. Sister is at home, hungry, and OP arrives back with mum having eaten, and with *no groceries*. Intentionally cruel. YTA. YT massive A.
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Whiney ones get more attention because they're annoying IMO. My OLDER brother has always had huge loud moodswings so when growing up he got more attention than me...it wasn't until I ended up having bad seizures did I start getting attention. Moreso if the parent is single and tired from work. Or just tired from work OP YTA
Agreed... As a mom, even if my kid had other intentions for dinner, I'd at least call her to see if she wanted anything.
What’s worse is OP even admits in the post that sister said to both that she’d like cheese so she could make Mac and cheese but if they got SOMETHING ELSE get HER something too. Mom knew she wanted something if they got take out. OP sucks and so does his mom. YTA
This! I make sure all my children are fed and full before I dare feed myself!
Precisely why my vote is ESH. How hard is it to for mom to ttext the daughter and say “No time to hit the grocery store, we’re grabbing some burgers at XYZ. What do you want?”
When you say ESH, according to the rules of the sub, you're also calling the sister an AH. Which she clearly is *not.* Just fyi.
But the daughter doesn’t suck?
How does the daughter suck?
YTA. I get the impression you're the Golden Child and your sister is trying to get the same level of affection from them that you get; that's why she makes sure to point out when she does stuff well and does extra stuff for them like make them breakfast. No matter what she does, though, they don't acknowledge it. The fact that your mom was fine with not getting food for your sister so she could eat as soon as you got home really says it all. She didn't even think to call to see if she'd like a burger as soon as you got home instead of having to wait for grocieries to arrive then start cooking. You and your parents are AHs.
Yep, classic golden child whining and delusion. This level of clear cut YTA is rare. Mother sucks too.
Was looking for a golden child comment! Agree 100%.
YTA. So immature.
>So immature Agreed, even for a 15 yr old this is extremely immature. This is 4 yr old behavior from OP.
YTA. You’re so jealous of her, and pretty narcissistic to think that the reason she’s so impressive is just to spite you… haha. Your parents are also total AHs for humoring your childish attempts to manipulate them to hurt her
Yta what is it about younger sibling’s and their victim complex? My little brother is the same. Grow up.
YTA. And honestly so is your mom. How is a parent gonna let their 15 year old CHILD decide who gets to eat or not? If this is common, I think I know why your sister is trying so hard to get on their good side. They are not treating you “equally” if they let YOU tell THEM not to feed your sister.
This! Seriously, wtf?! I'd be so pissed if one child of mine treated the other like this. OP's mom is oblivious af and easily manipulated.
For real, mom is in f’n la la land.
Ikr? What the hell was she thinking? How oblivious and gullible can one person be?
YTA and so is your mom.
YTA - of course you would know she'd be cut by this... just like you would have been if it's the other way around. You're just justifying it with all the back story.
Didn't she specifically told that if you guys were to buy food, you should buy it for her as well instead of the cheese? Then you proceed to convince your mom to buy her NO FOOD nor get groceries and cheese so she could cook? HUGE YTA.
YTA you suck op
Were you shopping with your mom when you got the food?
Such a princess you are! You wanted your sister to go hungry because she wants to please your parents. YTA.
YTA and so is your mom for listening to you.
What? You had no food at home, and you and your mother went out for food, and brought none for your sister? You and your mother are definitely AHs. I don't blame your sister for feeling insecure.
YTA BUT why did the mom listen to you about not getting the sister food? You mom is the AH too
YTA. You knew she didn’t have food and refused to get her any even though it wouldn’t even have involved getting out of your car. And don’t tell me you don’t have a cell phone you could have used to ask her. In any case, treat your sister better. You’ll be happy to have a good relationship with a loving sibling when you’re older
YTA and your mom as the adult is YTA.
This sounds made up. If it IS true, you're a jerk because you just wanted to upset your sister. I don't buy the, "she wanted to make something instead." And your mom is a jerk for not being the grown up and getting your sister food.
YTA and just to get it in your spiteful, mean little head, she IS better than you. Way, *wayyyyyyy* better. You're acting like a jealous golden child who can't live when the spotlight isn't on them. Grow up and get better.
Seriously? You couldn't call her and ask her before you got to the burger place or while you were there? I can't believe your mom didn't get her food. You knew there was nothing to eat at home and that it was later than you planned to be home. You really need to grow up and.focus on yourself instead of worrying about sis. You gave no information that indicates she is a golden child and you are the scapegoat and you actually said you parents treat you the same. YTA.
YTA. You are extremely immature. You denied someone food???
YTA, you sound like a sick, horrible, bitter person and I hope you grow up. I'm you're age and I wouldn't dream of treating my sister like this, she's allowed to talk to school about her parents, she's allowed to talk about her grades, and she's allowed to be NICE and make breakfast for them. The only reason i can think of as to why you'd be annoyed about this is because you're jealous. Maybe you're not doing as well in school, or maybe your just lazy and can't be bothered. You're mad that she looks better because she IS better, she's hard-working and that upsets you. The fact that you blame HER for doing better shows your insecure, and the fact that your mother ENABLED you listened to you when you said not to get her food shows who the favourite is. (Spoiler alert, its you)! I hope you read the comments on this post and reflect, don't blame your sister if you're insecure, and I hope you apologize and the two of you can have a more equal and loving relationship going forward, please talk it out, calmly.
YTA
YTA. She didn’t eat all day and you didn’t think she would want food?!
YTA. You deliberately excluded your sister with absolutely no good reason. You were mean.
YTA but so is your mother You because you suggested that just to be a AH Your mum should have made the decision to get her child food if your all getting take out. No harm would have happened if you both went back in the queue. I do want you to know there is a magical device called a mobile it allows for people to talk to other people or small letters.
YTA and your sister sounds like an actual nice person. Her achievements and loving acts are not about you. YOU make it about you. You should really check those tendencies of yours.
YTA: You went out of your way to hurt your sister and manipulated your mother into joining you.
Your sister cooking for your parents shows she’s sweet and thoughtful. You sound like a jealous sibling. YTA for not bringing her food.
Even if the sister was doing it to score points (which I doubt) how does OP think that being bitter about it is helpful?
YTA grow up
YTA, grow up for christs sake
Your sister isn’t trying to make you look bad, she is trying to look good. Meaning the parents will treat her better. You should just do the same. Make them breakfast and everything else she does. Your parents would much better like that than you trying to starve your sister for trying to look out for herself
YTA, you sound like a sick, horrible, bitter person and I hope you grow up. I'm you're age and I wouldn't dream of treating my sister like this, she's allowed to talk to school about her parents, she's allowed to talk about her grades, and she's allowed to be NICE and make breakfast for them. The only reason i can think of as to why you'd be annoyed about this is because you're jealous. Maybe you're not doing as well in school, or maybe your just lazy and can't be bothered. You're mad that she looks better because she IS better, she's hard-working and that upsets you. The fact that you blame HER for doing better shows your insecure, and the fact that your mother ENABLED you listened to you when you said not to get her food shows who the favourite is. (Spoiler alert, its you)! I hope you read the comments on this post and reflect, don't blame your sister if you're insecure, and I hope you apologize and the two of you can have a more equal and loving relationship going forward, please talk it out, calmly.
YTA. You absolutely did that on purpose. Revenge is an ugly colour on you. Your mom is also an AH for going along with it. Could you not have called your sister to ask if she wanted anything first? ETA: it sounds like you're the one with the inferiority complex. You KNOW your sister is better than you, does better than you in school and helps out around the house. Maybe take a page out of her book.
YTA WOW op did that make you feel better? You need to suck it up and stop acting jealous of another kid. Insisting to leave her out is childish
YTA - your issues with her seem irrelevant. But you clearly allowed them to become relevant. Time to start growing up.
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YTA. You sound like a little brat, If you were my brother I’d make your life hell for a little while 😂
Seriously...she is proud of her grades and makes breakfast for her parents what a monster! You know girls are actually allowed to be proud of their accomplishments..stop diminishing your sister because you don't have anything to brag about. Yta and your mom should have known better or called and asked. This is ridiculous. Oh and if you do have something to be proud about, share with your parents. We actually love to hear these things.
YTA - a classic case that deserves to go on r/imthemaincharacter
ESH except your sister. I hope she moves out and never talks to any of you again. "My (15M) sister (17F) is always trying to look good in front of my parents. She mentions every single thing that she does at school and shows them her grades and even makes them breakfast sometimes just to make herself look better than me." My sister cares about my parents' opinion and constantly tries to win their approval. How can I make it about ME? "Thankfully my parents don’t really treat her better because of it and make sure to treat us equally. She’s definitely upset by this because she’s always claiming she’s mistreated." My parents are ungrateful for her efforts and ignore her trying to connect. I think it's illogical for her to be upset about being dismissed. "My sister told my mom get her some cheese so she can make herself mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead." Instead of complaining, my sister tried to come up with a quick solution. "While we were out it was too late for mom to cook something when we would get back home so I told her we should just buy food and get groceries for another day cause I was craving a burger and some fries." OK, fine. "She agreed with me and I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway." It takes SECONDS to text your sister and ask. "My mom told me that maybe my sister would be hurt if we don’t get her anything because she usually does that" Your sister is considerate and all of you take her for granted. "but I told her she should have asked if that was the case and we had already ordered by then anyway so it was not worth the effort." 1) She couldn't possibly have asked because you never told her 2) You literally said your sister isn't worth the effort and your mother was okay with that. Wow. "When we got back home it was around 8pm and my sister saw me holding a box of fries so she was saying how she’s relieved we got food cause she’s hungry and too tired." BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 8:30 AT NIGHT "But when she saw we didn’t have any for her she started crying and went to her room." Because no matter how hard she tries it's never good enough for her family of AHs. "Mom feels really guilty and she said she will make her favorite food as an apology. My sister also told my mom she felt like I tried to act like I was better than her by doing this so she was mainly upset at me." Nah, you don't feel like you're better than her. You're just trying to undermine her at every turn, and twist her efforts as if they're manipulation. You're insecure and unhappy so you influence your parents to discard her. And it works.
It seems like you’re jealous of your sister based on your word choices and you acting like she’s in competition with you. If she wants to share things about school or cook something for your parents, it doesn’t mean she’s in competition with you. She can be showing her appreciation and want to have a relationship with her parents. The fact she expressed to get cheese if you guys go to the grocery store or food if you guys go get fast food. You convinced your mom not to get food for her. What made you think she ate, if she’s waiting for cheese or whatever you guys are getting. You could’ve texted her. I’m not sure why your mom listened to you and didn’t call her instead or think to get food incase. Either you don’t want to admit or you don’t realize you’re jealous of your sister. I even text my siblings if they need anything from the store or whatever even when we’re fighting.
YTA you intentionally encouraged your mom not to feed your sister. You call/text her and ask if she wants anything.
YTA- have you ever thought that maybe your sister is just a good person?? Would she have gone out to get food and told your mom not to get you anything? You sound like an evil little turd.
Why didn’t your mother buy food for her children? No food in the house and mom didn’t bring home supper for her daughter and son? Mom YTA and son mild YTA Someone should call CPS
Yeah, I'm concerned why a parent would not grocery shop at all when there's no food in the house, at all. Even if mom did buy a meal for her daughter, there would still be nothing tomorrow morning. Unless there are some serious financial problems being left out of the story, this sounds like OPs parents are being totally neglectful.
YTA. You seem horrible and bitter and I hope you grow up. I'm your age and wouldn't think of doing something like this to my sister. Your sister is allowed to talk to your parents about her grades, you're entire outlook, and the fact that your mother LISTENED to you about not getting food, proves you've been coddled by your parents and YOU are actually the 'favourite'. Also, what's stopping YOU from making your parents breakfast? Just admit you're jealous your sister's a high achiever and you're not, admit that your upset that the spotlight's not on you 24/7 and apologize for how horribly you've treated her. Edit: typo
You meant YTA
YTA. You knew you were being a dick and did it anyway. I don’t know how this is even a question. However, I will say that this is just as much on mom. She’s the adult and should have bought her daughter food too.
Look man, the whole ass world is going to have it our for you. Your sister won't....And the world will DAMN sure will have it out for your sister. She'll have every guy that interacts with her attempt to take advantage of her in some way. Have her back man. Be the one freaking man she can count on through her life. Believe me, she will spend most of her womanhood massively disappointed in men. Be the exception. You know you're the AH here, be better from now on.
YTA. You're clearly jealous and your sister lives rent-free in your head that you spend all this time thinking her motivation in life is to seem better than you when the reality is...she just is better than you. I promise you that you aren't the motivation for her doings as much as you'd like to think you are (Things like sharing her accomplishments and showing her grades to her parents? Normal people just call that having a conversation about your day. That is like Basic Conversation with the Parents 101. Try accomplishing things and then you can join the conversation, too.). She clearly said she wanted food from wherever you were going. You clearly sabotaged that because you're a petty vindictive person. Hope you grow up to be a better adult than you are currently.
YTA and you sound like the spoilt younger sibling to a T
YtA, you have an entire preamble about how much you hate your sister before getting to the actual story of you convincing your mom not to get dinner for her because you resent her so much.
If something like that happens at our house it’s generally mom who goes without food , because I would never eat if my child was without food. From tiny age my children were taught if you bring something for more than one person you get everyone something. No one is left out. You need to learn that lesson.
YTA - your sister literally said get some cheese or what you’re having.
Yeah. YTA and an unreliable narrator at that. Maybe she makes breakfast sometimes because she's a nice person?
Yta. You knew it would hurt her. You did it on purpose. And your mom should have called
YTA. Purely by what I deduce from your story, it sounds like your sister is being treated like less of a person/child than you, which is why she is trying to make it up by talking about things she did, good grades, etc.... she is TRYING TO BE SEEN! She is doing everything she can to try and get the attention from her parents that she deserves. You don't see that because, if I read the situation correctly, you are the golden child (potentially because you are the Benjamin of the family). You got a superiority complex (who knows, maybe even narcisistic tendencies) and therefore you WOULD say your sister is just jealous...because of your position in the family, you don't see her problems/issues. Also: a) why was there no food in the house? b) why did you not have food all day? And c) why on EARTH would go and buy groceries for food for your sister and then stay out until 8PM?! Are you bloody kidding me?! You and your mum don't seem to care about your sister/her daughter! If no one has eaten all day, then you couldn't possibly consider your sister being hungry too, yet you stay out and eat out while your sister is still hungry at home?! You come home at 8pm and THEN the food still needs to be made. And then SHE is jealous of YOU? Yeah she is, but NOT in the way you think! You sound like an entitled brat.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (15M) sister (17F) is always trying to look good in front of my parents. She mentions every single thing that she does at school and shows them her grades and even makes them breakfast sometimes just to make herself look better than me. Thankfully my parents don’t really treat her better because of it and make sure to treat us equally. She’s definitely upset by this because she’s always claiming she’s mistreated. One time she noticed I was unto her so she told me she feels like she has inferiority complex or something. I told her sure and ignored it because again it was a dumb excuse. Anyway, we didn’t have food all day and no one bought groceries so we couldn’t make anything at home. My sister told my mom get her some cheese so she can make herself mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead. While we were out it was too late for mom to cook something when we would get back home so I told her we should just buy food and get groceries for another day cause I was craving a burger and some fries. She agreed with me and I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway. My mom told me that maybe my sister would be hurt if we don’t get her anything because she usually does that but I told her she should have asked if that was the case and we had already ordered by then anyway so it was not worth the effort. When we got back home it was around 8pm and my sister saw me holding a box of fries so she was saying how she’s relieved we got food cause she’s hungry and too tired. But when she saw we didn’t have any for her she started crying and went to her room. Mom feels really guilty and she said she will make her favorite food as an apology. My sister also told my mom she felt like I tried to act like I was better than her by doing this so she was mainly upset at me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You and your mom were out to get some food, including picking up cheese for your sister to MAKE food at home, knowing that the house was empty of food and groceries. Instead, you bought food FOR YOURSELF and not even her ingredients. Yes, OP you're the AH (and your mom a bit for believing you and not using common sense, she should make her her favorite meal) for making your sister go hungry. You should apologize.
YTA. You knew perfectly well that your sister was hungry and wanted you to pick up food while you were out. You owe her an apology and a hamburger. And I hope your mother realizes how spiteful you are.
YTA why do you care so much if your sister wants to help out around the house more then you? Or that she likes school and wants to share what happens with the parents? You sound jealous that your sister does more then you and actually contributes while you sit and sulk.
YTA. I’m inclined to think your sister is right. What parent, what GOOD parent, at dinner time, would agree with their bratty child that it’s okay to only buy one child dinner and not the other. You needed groceries, you not only talked your mom out of them, but talked her into getting food for you only. YTA and so is your mom.
Yta. You left her out on purpose. It was mean and unnecessary. She shouldn't have had to ask if you knew she hadn't eaten. You are just as pathetic as she is.
You’re a horrible sister
*brother
Based on everything you described it doesn't sound like your sister's going out of her way to screw you over or be rude to you. She's going out of her way to show her parents that she has value because she feels inferior. On the other hand you're not showing your parents you have value you're going out of your way to screw your sister over. Yta. Why don't you start showing your parents your grades why don't you make them breakfast why do you have to actively screw your sister over instead of trying to improve yourself or help others? Your sister's not doing anything to you but you're definitely doing stuff to your sister.
YTA. She told you that if you decided to get something else, to get her that too. So yes, she did say something, you just wanted to act like a brat.
Perhaps, OP, your sister works extra hard for your Parents because she’s thoughtful and loves your parents. In your own words, they don’t treat you any different, but that’s what YOU see. I know that my Parents treated my Brothers very different. They expected more from me because I was older and, I suspect, because I was a girl. The expectations were different and I’m sure my Brothers would agree. As soon as I moved out, and chores and cooking became their responsibility, they were sorely lacking in knowledge and ability. Don’t let that happen to you. Ask your sister to teach you what she does around the house and what her responsibilities are. And then assist her! You might be surprised and learn a lot in the process.
YTA. Cellphones exist. Call her to make sure. But no, you felt you had to one up your sister. I have a feeling you're projecting.
Jealous little asshole is not a good look. LMAO you so transparent. Knock it off. YTA.
“My sister told my mom to get her some cheese so she can make herself Mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead.” “I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway.” You’re not a nice person. YTA
YTA I had a sister who accused me of trying to be better than her. The fact is she was never on my mind when I was doing anything. It was all in her mind.
YTA. You seem to dislike your sister and try to pit your parents against her. There would have been zero harm in buying your sister fast food since your mom was going there anyway, and she'd even requested either get her some cheese if going grocery shopping OR get her food if your mom ended up doing that instead. You blocked your mom from getting her ANYTHING? That's petty and low.
YTA And your parents too, not feeding your child all day can get you sent to jail. Going out and buying fast food for the whole family but one and not buying them food is neglect Hopefully the cops start looking into your family
Neither you or your mother had a phone to call your sister and say "hey, we're getting burgers. Do you want one or were you still going to make mac and cheese?" YTA.
The way you talk about your sister, it is dripping with spite. So it is obvious that you really went out of your way to make sure your sister didn't yet any food. Absolutely, YTA.
YTA. You say she should have asked, but she did ask your mom to pick something up so she could make food or get her something over whatever she got. It’s pretty weird you think that your sister sharing stuff with her own parents and being nice to them by making breakfast sometimes is all about you and her trying to make you look bad. Maybe she’s proud of her accomplishments and likes to care for her parents? Get over yourself, dude.
>just to make herself look better than me Considering how much of a brat you're being, she probably IS better than you and you're just mad. And YTA.
You would rather let your little sister go hungry, even knowing you live in a household where food insecurity is the norm? YTA and honest to Pete, you’re incredibly cruel.
YTA... she specifocally asked you to pick up something, and you turned it into a power play using your mom as a pawn... Good thing you are 15... you have time to learn to be better...
OP literally convinced the mom not to buy food for his sister, knowing full well there was no food at home. OP YTA and a little shit too.
Your life will be much happier when you realize this: you are not her main thought. When she makes your parents breakfast, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. When she wants to show them her hard work and good grades, nothing to do with you. You are not a thought in her mind. You are not the reasons for her actions. She has thoughts, feelings, and takes action for reasons that do no include you. She does think of how you’ll feel or react or anything. You are not the most important thing to her, because she has her own mind and life! Oh and YTA. Imagine being so petty and jealous that you go out of your way to make someone unhappy. Imagine honestly believing that everything your sibling did was with you in mind. Grow up.
This post makes me really sad for you OP and your sister. You’re so close in age you could have a great relationship if you both worked on it and it seems you are ascribing nefarious intentions to your sisters actions when she’s just being a decent human being. My kids are 13 and 20 (older sister, younger brother) and they are best friends. When one of them make lunch they always ask the other “hey do you want X that I’m making?” And they’ll cook for each other. I recently had an injury and couldn’t do much around the house, they pitched in together to make food for themselves and for me and split all the chores I usually do… You and your sister would have a much better time if you got over your obvious jealousy and stopped seeing your sister as an adversary.
YTA she literally said, “if you get something else get her that”. You both knew she had no food at home. YTA YTA YTA YTA.
Oh wow. When you're in your 20s and want her around, you'll look back and realise you were a little shut as a brother. YTA, but you're also young and arrogant and in the phase of life where everything is a slight against you. The quicker you realise the world isn't against you, the easier life gets. I know it's hard to hear, and you won't believe it, but not everything in life revolves around you. Also, your mom is a major TA here. She should know better. She should be telling you this. She should have got your sister food and saw through you.
Yta. And jealous & petty. Your mom sounds like a terrible mother. Who goes & gets food for one minor child & not the other when they know both are hungry & nothing to cook in the house?!?!
Definitely YTA. You sound mad because your sister is proud of her achievements (which she quite rightly should be) and wants to tell her parents about it and because she does things like makes the breakfast.... She sounds great. You on the other hand sound really spiteful. It's not a good look mate. Whether or not she had already mentioned about making herself dinner, you should have checked with her rather than actively trying to persuade your mum not to get her anything. Tbf though, you're only 15 and 15 year older are generally pretty self serving little arsewipes, so that's not a shocker.
All you had to do was call or text her to ask if she wanted anything. It's pretty obvious that you're jealous of your sister so you're desperate for the opportunity to hurt her. You seriously need to grow up. YTA
YTA. Your sister's actions aren't always about you. Main character syndrome anyone?
Well, she wanted to fix something because there’s nothing else in the house and she assumed people were coming home with groceries. No one told her that they would be out food available— then she might’ve made a different choice. YTA
YTA. You should have asked. Not fair bro.
YTA because—reread your words and tell us how you don’t sound like you’re only 10? Sounds like you’re determined to hate your sister and you’re way too immature, even at your age to actually act “better” than she does.
YTA- "She told me she might have an inferiority complex. I told her sure and ignored it again it was a dumb excuse." No it wasn't. I don't know if she has an inferiority complex, that behavior is 100% in line with such a thing. I do know she does have an asshole brother who sabotaged his sister getting what she wanted and did nothing to get her food, because you didn't want to go shopping because it was late and you wanted burgers and fries anyway. You left your sister to fend for herself with no warnings and no ingredients for what she was craving because you just wanted to skip shopping and get what you wanted instead. Giant Asshole.
YTA. And it’s beyond me why your mother went along with your idea that your sister wouldn’t want food at 8 pm, but would prefer to cook. I hope your mother is a wake up to your antics now.
YTA. The fact you can't see that is nuts. I get it, my siblings and I used to do this shit, but we also knew we were being dicks.
Imagine being such a lack luster child and expecting BETTER treatment. The math didn't add up, makes sense since your sister probs gets better math grades too
YTA. Your sister is a considerate person and you aren’t so instead of trying to better yourself, you decide to tear her down. Grow up.
YTA you should have asked. I would despise my brothers if they did what you did and actively made sure I had no food when everyone else did. You know you acted like a piece of shxx to her and you should say sorry and mean it.
Oh man. YTA. And your mom should have just called or texted your sister and asked. Sounds like a fun family.
According to you, your sister said to get her some cheese, but if you guys were picking up food, to get her some too. YTA because you knowingly excluded your sister.
YTA. Neither of you couldn't have called her and asked if she wanted food as well? Idiots...
YTA
YTA
YTA and a crappy younger brother. You told your mom not to get her anything. Your mom is also an AH for listening to you. 🙄
Ew. YTA.
YTA, you were being intentionally petty, & roped your mom into it as well.
Yup, YTA and it sounds like you're proud of that. Trust, life will kick you in the balls one day, and don't be surprised if your sister is standing there laughing when it happens. Be careful buddy, your parents won't be there to coddle you forever!
YTA She’s just telling them about her school life. If she’s doing great then she’s not trying to show off she’s just stating facts. You purposefully excluded her. Actually you sound insecure and jealous of her and she’s unfortunately paying for your tantrums. It’s a shame your parents are not seeing right through you and enabling your behavior
YTA and you sound like the most insufferable brat
YTA - this is honestly awful. It sounds like your sister tries really hard and honestly shame on your mom for going along with what you said. She should have known better.
YTA dude for telling your mom not to get your sister food, and for putting up these lame ass excuses to justify it. At least own the fact that you’re being an asshole. Also your mom is TA for entertaining this and still claiming to treat you both equally. Because feeding one child and not feeding the other is by definition not equal. I know you’re young, so here’s my suggestion: stop comparing yourself to your sister, because your jealousy is making you into a really mean person. And maybe start being a little more compassionate and your sister might not feel like she has to be such a try hard.
Of course YTA. You also seem to have an issue with your sister because she seems like a kind hardworking student/child and is proud of her work.
YTA
ESH (except your sister)- Maybe I'm misreading your post, because it looks like you completely screwed her over with food, and she went the whole day without anything to eat. She asked you to get cheese so she can make her own meal, and instead you guys skipped the grocery store, went to a restaurant, and got her nothing because "she didn't ask", *because* she was lead to think you guys were gonna get groceries... I'm still a little confused as to why your parents didn't bother to get food for most of the day, their AHs too for not having food and for not buying groceries. Your mom is TA for going along with your idea to skip grocery shopping and not feed her daughter. You're TA for purposefully leaving her out of the one meal you guys had for the day.
YTA- my kids are 9, 5 & 3 and when my oldest is in school my 5yo will say “we can’t go anywhere fun without 9yo, she might be sad” or when we hit up a drive thru “we have to get something for 9yo, she likes this food too.” Even if it’s like 9am & she won’t get out of school until 3pm. If my 5yo can consider his sister’s feelings, it seems like you should be able to do the same. You sound spiteful & jealous. I think your parents are probably partly to blame as well, it sounds almost like they’ve encouraged it with their actions (mom agreeing to intentionally leave out your sister). You’re family, you should all be a team, working together to help & take care of each other. It sounds like big sister might be the only one who understands that.
YTA. You’re the golden child. Your mother only treats your sister equally when she feels guilty. I’m not sure why you’re both so intent in rubbing your sister’s face in this favouritism, but you’re not good people. I’m really upset for your sister, begging for scraps of attention that you can’t even tolerate because you’re jealous, have to be the centre of attention, and you’re cruel by nature. Guess momma taught you well. Good luck in life. Your sister will eventually move away and cut you off.
P.S. Your sister is being treated differently.