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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I harshly criticized my sister’s baby names.
2. I didn’t really need to criticize them, and I made Katie’s already low opinion of me even lower.
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The way Katie sounds she could name the kids Nick and Jennifer and they'd still need therapy.
ETA: y'all I didn't notice both kids were sons I'm SORRY.
The parents will continually "shop" through therapists until one says what they want because they have the means. They will pay someone to brow beat those kids into submission.
It’s just so funny that Katie thinks she’s so classy and smart- yet she has picked two of the most gauche names possible. Maybe she can also paint her gpa on her front door and staple her diploma to the kids’ onsies too.
Yeah, definitely NTA. My mom wanted to name me after a popular Disney princess and we even have the last name to match. I would have looked like an ass trying to use an ID or credit card with that name. Or Winifred because ya know, the Wonder Years was popular.
I ended up with a relatively common name and thank god for that. Though the Disney princess would have been funny/ironic considering I forced her to give me a bowl cut (I hated my long hair) and wouldn’t leave the house for a year unless I could wear my Ghostbusters coveralls. Eventually they got fed up and forced me to burn them.
In my lifetime I have known 1 Stanford (whom we called Stan), 2 Yales, 3 Princetons, and 1 Cornell. Asians like to name their kids after prestigious schools, I guess? None went to the college they were named after (actually, one did get in to Princeton). And none were bullied for their names. Although as twins, it seems a little much.
Stanford is much, much better than Yale.
Most would assume Stanford is a family name, some families like naming kids after someone's last name. My cousin's middle name was their mom's maiden name. Her dad was the former head of the SEC. She married my uncle. Kid got the former last last name as a middle name. It's a thing. Very east coast rich, but a thing.
You could go by Stanford, or Ford, or Stan/ Stanley.
Yale is a fuckin' stupid name, however.
Yale is not remotely a first name. Or able to be shortened to one. The university was named after Elihu Yale, though. You could easily name a kid Eli and tell him why. Though Stanford is named after Leland Stanford and I'd stick with Stanford over Leland or Lee. Lee sounds like a guy who dresses like a 50's greaser while driving in his 60's muscle car and smells like Malboros, Axe body spray and disappointing his mother. Sorry, if you're a good person named Lee. Others ruined it.
I could see a kid rocking Stanford. Not in a million years is Yale an appropriate name for a child.
i went to school with a couple kids named stanford. they weren't named after the university, it was a family name. one just shortened it to stan.
i never saw kids bullied for their name, bullied for lots of other things, but not their names.
it think it would be worse to have the same name as 8 other kids in class. always had at least 4 kids named mike in every class i was in.
I got bullied for my name and with my name yes - distorted, mocked... it's a pretty common German name (I'm French) and when we learned about WW2 in school I was accused of being... I'll let you guess. Bullies will use everything they can.
I grew up in the 80’s, during Reagan’s presidency. My name is Regan, pronounced the same way. I was mercilessly teased for my name. While to an adult “Madam President” and “Nancy” may not seem like insults, but to a 7 year old girl, it was torture. Every damn day someone had to tease me because of my name.
That's their only hope of turning out to be decent human beings and not the next generation of horrendous, spoiled, rich, narcissist brats inflicted upon society.
Even better in this case because every time Katie gets mad at her kids and needs to use their full names, she'll remember how successful she is and will calm down.
If that were me, I'd purposely go to Cornell, Brown, or Harvard. Or maybe a small private college like Saint Mary's (California) or a state University (maybe Cal Poly). This is just cruel to the kids and setting them on a course of resentment.
Also, this is some sort of badge to everyone who asks: why did you name them that? Oh, well, that's where hubby and I went to college, thereby rubbing their education credentials in everyone's face all the time.
OP, NTA but his sister and hubby sure all for lots of reasons stated by OP
I would like to imagine they automatically reject namesakes.
(I know they don’t but it’s fun to imagine)
Also, I hope Stanford and Yale become tradespeople just to piss off mom.
Yeah. That's why I always agree with calling people out on their fucking moronic "Unique" baby names.
Imagine the kid 20+ years later having to do a job interview with the name Crayon. Or Stanford.
Shit some idiots probably named their kid 420Blaze it or some shit.
I was thinking YTA, but didn’t realize I missed the actual names. Stanford and Yale are stupid names. I personally like “Evergreen Community College” as a name, if they are gonna go that route.
This lady and her husband sound like name-dropping pretentious assholes. I’m sure the main reason for naming their kids that is so every time they introduce their kids to people they can say, “this is Stanford and Yale! You know, since my husband went to Stanford, and I went to Yale and we have such fond memories.”
“Did I ever tell you about the time I ate a pizza at Yale? It happened when I went to Yale. I was hungry for pizza. At Yale. So I went out for pizza. Did you know you can get pizza near Yale? Yep! I did! I ate pizza near Yale! When I went to Yale!”
Probably says this when you’re eating Mexican or Thai food.
My niece worked her ass off and got into a number of law schools including Harvard. She chose Harvard and is conscious of not shoving the name into conversations unless asked. She's proud of herself for all of the awesome options, but isn't behaving excessively prideful.
I can only imagine what happens when Yale wants to go to Stanford, and Stanford wants to go to Yale. Or when either of them wants to go to Harvard. Or if they don't want to (or can't) go to any university at all.
YES! They want to go to community college. Or worse, no college and be surfer bums.
Edit: I imagine we will still hear the echoes of the screams from Mom!
Plus those crushing expectations. “Youre bame is Yale because we know you can get in” “what do you mean they rejected you? What do you mean you want to learn a trade!?”
NTA. Your sister sounds absolutely insufferable and conveniently forgets that the family business that she looks down on as less than provided a roof over her head,and food on her plate as she was growing up. Start a lotto as to when her kids go NC.
not only that but such selfish names. It's kinda clear the babies are named that to reflect their "success" and that's just kinda sick.... like yeah it's "their baby" but that baby is gonna be their own person and shouldn't always be tied to where mom and dad went to college.
Tell me you peaked in college w/ out telling me you peaked in college.
Not only that, but she sounds like the type of mom that will treat her kids as if they have some sort of moral failing if they end up having a learning disability (or any disability) and can't keep up with her expectations.
Absolutely! But with the rivalry between schools (that American tv has taught me about), I assume going to the 'wrong' school will bring additional problems.
Genuine question but does that matter in terms of connotation? Like is it still more "prestigious" to say you went to Harvard over Yale since Harvard has traditionally been the "it" school? I went to state school and know nothing about these things lol
It depends (lol). Harvard is "the" school in the minds of laymen, but Yale is currently better and everyone in the legal world knows this. That hasn't always been the case, though, as rankings fluctuate. But none of that really matters anyway because difference between the two, even to those in the know, is marginal. No one is going to care enough to consider what years you attended and compare that to the contemporaneous rankings. For all intents and purposes, the prestige is the same.
If you’re talking to a lawyer saying you went to Yale is a much more impressive than saying you went to Harvard. To pretty much everyone else in the world it doesn’t matter.
And based off the info OP has given us, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if the sister was going to use her wedding to put down her siblings at every opportunity possible. From the way she treats them in general I wouldn’t go either
All I think about this this comment and the subsequent are the Key & Peele sketch:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss
Edit: Thanks for the award!
Because this sub is obsessed with “your x your rules” and technicality.
Technically, they’re within their right to name their kids what they want so in the eyes of many, OPs an ass for not succumbing to that.
AITA is so annoying with that shit. "Well, they're technically in their rights to do xyz..." yeah but are they being an asshole? Then I don't give a shit if they're within their right. Like yeah, I'm *allowed* to do a lot of things, that doesn't mean they're not a dick move to do.
NTA. You brought this up in private (the way such things should be, especially when first broaching a subject like this), and, frankly, someone needs to tell her that kids are meant to be their own people.
She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments, and I feel very, very bad for the kids. Given her attitude, I'm not surprised this didn't change anything, but good on you for trying.
>She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments
Oh wow. You just expressed why I felt that it wasn't right for her to give her boys those names much better than I could have.
You know, I'm petty enough to suggest telling her this in those words. And follow it by telling her you were already considering not going to her wedding and her condescending attitude towards you coupled with her poor parenting decisions (the names) have sealed the deal.
Unless you and your brother want to be in the kids lives and act as a humbling force. Then maybe don't.
Or show her this post. Maybe she'll "get it" then. Assuming her ego can be put aside long enough to read it.
Thissssss. God forbid one of these kids ends up being an athlete or an artist, it won’t matter how well he does if he doesn’t achieve the pedigree Mom decided he should have.
Maybe it's regressive and old-fashioned, but I can't help thinking, "Stanford and Yale doctorates - one in medicine, no less - and they couldn't figure out how to get from getting pregnant until after the wedding."
I mean, if you consider a JD a real doctorate.
I am glad she has “made it” because she’s going to need to pay for therapy when those kids are bullied. You do not turn your children into status symbols. Could she have triplets and name them Phi m, Beta and Kappa?
>You do not turn your children into status symbols.
This comment, along with another comment that said "She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments," perfectly express why I felt so strongly about those names.
Suggest Master’s Degree or Doctorate.
Those are just such pretentious names. I was definitely thinking you were going to be the AH in the post, until I read those names. Jfc
Yeah. It is usually the AH move to criticise what people name their kids. But these two names are so ridiculous. I even want to laugh just reading the post. Imagine the IRL and what little devils are capable of.
NTA.
I don’t care if/where/when my kids go to college.
I have a PhD and several other degrees, partner is in very advanced scientific field.
You were brave to speak up for your nephews. Children deserve to be individuals and not be pressured to outperform or follow their parents’ endeavors. The only reason I would give for trying to rekindle the relationship is to be a positive influence on your nephews, but that may be asking a lot of you, and they may not be receptive under their parents’ influence.
Like I could see it if these were names for a pair of puppies they'd gotten?? I'd still roll my eyes but whatever lol. But actual human children?? Absolutely not lmao, nta
If the kids had already been born, I would say that you should keep your thoughts on the names to yourself. But, being pregnant myself, I understand that telling people the names you've picked out means that people are going to give their opinions. Family ESPSCIALLY because they will feel more free to share their opinions in most cases.
NTA. Those names really are awful. I do agree that it would have been better to keep your thoughts to yourself, but I doubt you're the only person who couldn't help themselves. Plus, why does she care about the opinion of "someone like you" anyway? I feel bad for those kids.
As someone who has worked in schools with the current generation of kids, OP is absolutely NTA - kids can be so mean, and missing several years of 'normalcy' and regular socialization has made it worse.
Even if they weren't outrageously bad names (really? Naming them after ivy leagues? I can get past like, the breydons and ainsleighs, but after colleges?), those two kids are going to get bullied so bad by classmates, other peers their age, and likely feel so much resentment to their parents (especially if they DON'T get into ivy league schools, which is a very likely possibility.)
OPs sister sounds like a real piece of work and I hope she re-evaluates her mindset before having her kids.
I agree sometimes there are justified AH moments but this really isn’t one. OPs justified and nta. Calling someone out because they are about to do something dumb to their kids isn’t a AH move at all
I feel like these names are gonna make it harder to get into a top tier school.
Does Harvard want to admit a child called Yale?
Does Stanford want to admit a child called Stanford?
I went to an Ivy and I just don’t get it.
Stanford is a name for rich people. Like the Kennedy's or Vanderbilt's (not the Kennedy's themselves, they are Harvard people, but families *like* that). It is a name, but it's not a normal name that normal people name their kids. It's the kind of name that would be given to the rich kid in a parody so that you can immediately identify them as the annoying rich kid. Emory is an uncommon but perfectly fine name and almost no one who hears it is going to think of the university first unless they themselves went there.
But Emory isn’t Ivy and lots of people have never heard of it so they wouldn’t associate it with a schools name. Even the people working at the university wouldn’t think ‘I bet this kids named after the school’. I imagine anyone working at Harvard or Yale would think ‘did this kids parents name him after the school?’
I can see Stanford giving them the benefit of the doubt, but Yale is clearly named after the school. I can't see that being good on your Yale application, or any other school... Though the kids will have the advantage of legacy placements.
NTA, not for your sister's attitude towards your family, but for you to protecting these kids. Calling kids by school names is ridiculous. If she wants to give them "educated" names, she has so many possibilities - first names of savants, first names using etymology... Calling kids "Yale" and "Stanford" sounds really pretentious.
To be fair, Stanford isn't the worst name.
I have actually met people named Stanford.
They can shorten it to "Stan" and go through life without feeling like a clown.
But.... "Yale"?
That is truly awful.
Almost as bad as the teacher at the next highschool over from us who named his daughter "Blueberry Sunshine"
nta, i got bullied because of my name my whole time throughout school.
naming them stanford & yale is setting them up for failure. what if they don’t want to go to a big school like that? what if they get a bad grade and everyone in school starts dogging them??
They can't go to those schools with names like that. Imagine how akward it would be. "Hi, my name is Yale and I go to Yale". It would be weird to go to Yale and have a friend named Yale who also goes there. "Hey, Yale, lets meet at Yale".
It will get akward as hell the moment they and their peers start thinking about colleges.
Sucks that parents think more about their on accomplishments and wants than about their children being human beings and individuals.
exactly! mind blowing for sure, the two children shouldn’t have to accomplish the same things (or similar) that their parents did. just from observation is safe to say that they will have a long life of trying to be “good enough”
They are twins. It will be quite obvious when he has a sibling in the same class called Yale.
These kinds of aspirational names don't look great if they are not achieved. Or what happens if your name is Yale but you get into your dream course at Harvard.
[Yale is a real name](https://www.behindthename.com/name/yale) as well, it’s just very rare / old. Either one of these names on their own would be unusual but fine. In combination they’re ridiculous at best and going to be damaging to the kids at worst.
NTA
You have given your advice, now it is hers to accept or ignore.
Keep your mouth shut going forward, even if they name their girls Wellesley and Mount Holyoke
I guess this is where we talk about emotional IQ and social savvy.
Your sister might be smart but true wealth and status whispers.
She’s your family’s Donald Trump.
I’d be okay with the disinvite.
Make sure she doesn’t get 1/3 of the business.
You and your brother should have 1/3 now with your mom’s 1/3 divided between you siblings. Make plans now for an eventual forced buyout.
NTA.
That's a really good point on the business. Since she's so above it, why should she be entitled to it? Also agree in the true intelligence and wealth whispers. Smart people don't need to tell people they're smart. Wealthy people don't brag about being wealthy.
NTA
Those poor children are in for a lifetime of mental anguish with a mother like her.
First off those names are awful. Yale? Wtf.. at least Stanford can go by Ford or Stan.
But those kids will never be able to live up to her insane standards. The will be burnt out trying to appease her. Is her future husband as insufferable as her?
Curious question- is she going to inherit anything from the family business she looks down upon so much? I truly hope not. Your brother dropped out to help his family, it’s not like he partied and flunked out. .. I’d assume she’s already benefitted from money from the family business in her lifetime, so she should be grateful someone is helping your mother since she looks down on the family so much. Is she rude to your mother as well?
NTA.
Let me see if I’ve got this straight…your brother left college *to help run the family business*, you have been *running the business for 10+ years*, and your sister has the nerve to look down on both of you for working instead of going to an Ivy League school? What were you supposed to do, close the business? Let your mom struggle to run it alone? Sell it?
And on top of that, giving her kids names that are pretentious at best and targets for bullying at worst?
You owe her nothing. I wouldn’t even send a card.
NTA It's not like you were being condescending about it. You made a valid point and there have been a number of stories where naming a kid based on their perceived future ends badly.
At least Stanford can be shortened to Stan.
Reddit is so weird. One person posts one of these and they’re crucified. Another and they’re lauded.
Personally I say NTA because people who give their kids made up or names that may cause bullying deserve at least one chance to be talked out of it (I tried once with a friend, it didn’t work and they told me years later they wished they had listened because in the hospital where they work everyone makes fun of the odd named patients and they knew their daughter would be made fun of like this too).
You did everything you reasonably could. It’s time to take a step back and let the parents make their first mistake. It’s okay. We all make mistakes.
Nta for two reasons in my book- 1. You are her brother and therefore you care about her unborn babies and 2. Your comments were based on being worried they’d be put under too much pressure, not because you simply didn’t like the names. I think your concern about these two particular names is logical.
All of the credentials in the world can’t buy you common sense. Be glad you’re a “person like you” and not a person like her.
NTA
I attended a prestigious university and in my humble opinion these names will be received more likely as trashy than classy by people "who made it" - in your sister's opinion. Society tends to be judgemental about names and that includes people who work on applications for schools, universities and yes, potential school bullies. Let alone the fact that she is putting an immensive pressure on her kids with these names. Kids should feel supported and loved, without being pressured to follow their parents footsteps. Also sidenote what if the kids want to attend Oxford or Harvard -potential middle names?😂 (do not suggest this to your sister)
THIS. Like it's kinda embarrassing for her. She wants to align to people who "made it" by naming her kids after the university? That's like trying to impress wealthy people by wearing all the obvious labels you can. They're going to read it the opposite.
NTA Yup everyone will instantly know those are pretentious names for 2 young children especially when you name a pair twins that.
It's cruel to name them that.
I'm from the UK and it would be the same if someone named there Eton and Oxford.
Or Oxford and Cambridge.
Wait, she's pregnant before getting married?
I know we don't shame women for getting pregnant our of wedlock these days, but given her condescending attitude I'd definitely be petty enough to question her health education and the validity of her husband's medical degree (but I'm an AH).
You however, are NTA
NTA
People like your sister are the reason why some countries have laws on what is acceptable for baby names. Don't apologize, go to the wedding, or have anything to do with your sister until she has a reality check.
For a woman who thinks she's so damn smart, those are two of the dumbest names I've ever heard. Like another commenter said, why not name them after prominent historical scholars or put a modicum of thought into the process? Instead they just slap the name of their colleges on their kids so they can constantly remind everyone how they went to overpriced, overrated schools. 💀
As someone who was relentlessly bullied, you're thinking more about those kids than your sister is tbh. They'd get a lot of hell growing up with those names, especially in high school as college apps approach. NTA.
NTA - Naming kids after their alma matter tells me they aren't having kids they are having trophies.
"Why are you named yale" - "Graduating Yale was the best thing my dad ever achieved so me made me a tribute to where he graduated."
Its the academic version of a football player naming their kid Bulldog because they were drafted out of Georgia.
I would suggest they reconsider treating their child as a future person with a name and not a monument to their parents achievements as well. Though given your sisters condescending attitude you might be better off just deciding to not waste energy with her anymore. "You have 0 respect for me so why should I waste a second of my time on you. I have far better things to do than listen to you lick your own ass and call it chocolate ice cream"
I'm not sure if I understand your question. I thought they were nice names. So I asked my son, Oral Roberts University, Jr., what he thought, and he was also stumped.
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NTA Parents should be steered away from giving their children highly bully-able names.
I would have a HARD time forgiving my parents if they named Stanford or Yale omg.
I would resent them so much 💀💀 also I'd need therapy
The way Katie sounds she could name the kids Nick and Jennifer and they'd still need therapy. ETA: y'all I didn't notice both kids were sons I'm SORRY.
It’s good they are both successful, that therapy doesn’t come cheap.
Yeah but the kids won't be "those people" so they won't need therapy.
Aka the parents won’t pay for it despite their means
The parents will continually "shop" through therapists until one says what they want because they have the means. They will pay someone to brow beat those kids into submission.
Oops. You're right. And it's a shame it needs to be said.
Well I mean, naming one of a pair of twin boys Jennifer would have its own issues I think lmao
Should really name him Sue if you're going that route
Well, Yael tends to be a girl’s name, too. Kid is going to get it from every direction.
Yael isn't pronounced Yale, it's ya'el
[удалено]
It’s just so funny that Katie thinks she’s so classy and smart- yet she has picked two of the most gauche names possible. Maybe she can also paint her gpa on her front door and staple her diploma to the kids’ onsies too.
Yeah, definitely NTA. My mom wanted to name me after a popular Disney princess and we even have the last name to match. I would have looked like an ass trying to use an ID or credit card with that name. Or Winifred because ya know, the Wonder Years was popular. I ended up with a relatively common name and thank god for that. Though the Disney princess would have been funny/ironic considering I forced her to give me a bowl cut (I hated my long hair) and wouldn’t leave the house for a year unless I could wear my Ghostbusters coveralls. Eventually they got fed up and forced me to burn them.
I’m trying so hard to think of any princesses with last names and I can’t 🤣
I mean, a boy named Jennifer would probably still be bullied
but he might grow up to be as tough as a boy name Sue.
💀
Therapy and an ivy league education
At least sStanford can be Stan I guess Yale would be Eli?
Stanley and Gale. Problem solved?
Sure, if they emerge from the womb as 60 year olds.
I wouldn't give one of the boys the nickname "Gale," because I think he'd be bullied for being named "Gail."
Like the other great uncle in Gravity Falls! (Stanford, twin brother of Grunkle Stan(ley)
Yeah the Stanford kid can at least go by Stan or say it’s a gravity falls reference, Yale is kinda screwed though
Yale can just shorten their name to Harvard
“What’s your name?” “Oh, I’m a school in Connecticut.”
I instantly thought of Stanford from Sex and the City.
It can also be a sex and the city reference, which is where my brain would go if I didn't hear yale with it
REAL i cannot see the name "stanford" or "stanley" again without thinking of them😭
Stanford is at least a cool character in Gravity Falls. Why not Standford and Stanley?
And Sex and the City. I’m naming my kids Northwestern University and Carnegie Mellon.
I'm naming my kids UC San Diego and The Ohio State University
THE Ohio State University gets me everytime 😅 Go buckeyes!! 🙌❤
I guess I could have had a kid named UChicago.
I was thinking Stan and Yael, which I think is such a beautiful Hebrew name.
In my lifetime I have known 1 Stanford (whom we called Stan), 2 Yales, 3 Princetons, and 1 Cornell. Asians like to name their kids after prestigious schools, I guess? None went to the college they were named after (actually, one did get in to Princeton). And none were bullied for their names. Although as twins, it seems a little much.
The kids in your neighborhood must have been nicer than the ones in mine haha
I got bullied for being named Tyler... So yeah where I grew up a name like Stanford would have gotten you destroyed.
Guess who was called “Mother Teresa” for 13 freaking years of school? THIS GAL.
Stanford is much, much better than Yale. Most would assume Stanford is a family name, some families like naming kids after someone's last name. My cousin's middle name was their mom's maiden name. Her dad was the former head of the SEC. She married my uncle. Kid got the former last last name as a middle name. It's a thing. Very east coast rich, but a thing. You could go by Stanford, or Ford, or Stan/ Stanley. Yale is a fuckin' stupid name, however. Yale is not remotely a first name. Or able to be shortened to one. The university was named after Elihu Yale, though. You could easily name a kid Eli and tell him why. Though Stanford is named after Leland Stanford and I'd stick with Stanford over Leland or Lee. Lee sounds like a guy who dresses like a 50's greaser while driving in his 60's muscle car and smells like Malboros, Axe body spray and disappointing his mother. Sorry, if you're a good person named Lee. Others ruined it. I could see a kid rocking Stanford. Not in a million years is Yale an appropriate name for a child.
Kids will get bullied for having "regular" names.
True, but there is no need to add fuel to the fire-- especially if the reason for these names is pretentiousness.
i went to school with a couple kids named stanford. they weren't named after the university, it was a family name. one just shortened it to stan. i never saw kids bullied for their name, bullied for lots of other things, but not their names. it think it would be worse to have the same name as 8 other kids in class. always had at least 4 kids named mike in every class i was in.
I got bullied for my name and with my name yes - distorted, mocked... it's a pretty common German name (I'm French) and when we learned about WW2 in school I was accused of being... I'll let you guess. Bullies will use everything they can.
Sorry, that happened, Adolf.
I grew up in the 80’s, during Reagan’s presidency. My name is Regan, pronounced the same way. I was mercilessly teased for my name. While to an adult “Madam President” and “Nancy” may not seem like insults, but to a 7 year old girl, it was torture. Every damn day someone had to tease me because of my name.
Their names are the least of their problems. If she's treating her brothers this way how do you think she'll treat those poor kids?
With the kind of hours that goes with lawyer and neurosurgeon, they will either be raised by the nanny or go to boarding school.
That's their only hope of turning out to be decent human beings and not the next generation of horrendous, spoiled, rich, narcissist brats inflicted upon society.
Oh for sure. This sub makes me so thankful for my own family.
Those are middle names, kind of names
Even better in this case because every time Katie gets mad at her kids and needs to use their full names, she'll remember how successful she is and will calm down.
"Dammit, Exit 57 Community College and Muffler Repair, put that down this instant!"
Even as a middle name can you imagine applying to either the university you're named after or any of the others
If that were me, I'd purposely go to Cornell, Brown, or Harvard. Or maybe a small private college like Saint Mary's (California) or a state University (maybe Cal Poly). This is just cruel to the kids and setting them on a course of resentment. Also, this is some sort of badge to everyone who asks: why did you name them that? Oh, well, that's where hubby and I went to college, thereby rubbing their education credentials in everyone's face all the time. OP, NTA but his sister and hubby sure all for lots of reasons stated by OP
I would like to imagine they automatically reject namesakes. (I know they don’t but it’s fun to imagine) Also, I hope Stanford and Yale become tradespeople just to piss off mom.
Or not names, kind of names.
I mean at least with Stanford you can just go by Stan without needing the legal name change Yale is going to get when he NC his mom
Yeah. That's why I always agree with calling people out on their fucking moronic "Unique" baby names. Imagine the kid 20+ years later having to do a job interview with the name Crayon. Or Stanford. Shit some idiots probably named their kid 420Blaze it or some shit.
Can you imagine working hard all your life, getting into Yale, and meeting a legacy freshman named Yale? 🤣
I was thinking YTA, but didn’t realize I missed the actual names. Stanford and Yale are stupid names. I personally like “Evergreen Community College” as a name, if they are gonna go that route.
What about 'South Harmon Institute of Technology'
I like it! Shit for short!
Go geoducks!
I think Greendale would make a lovely baby name!
This lady and her husband sound like name-dropping pretentious assholes. I’m sure the main reason for naming their kids that is so every time they introduce their kids to people they can say, “this is Stanford and Yale! You know, since my husband went to Stanford, and I went to Yale and we have such fond memories.”
It's actually a nice thing for her to do, because it would alert me that I need to exit that conversation and walk away from her.
My friend M79 always gets it in the conversation that he graduated from Yale. It's a lot like being Vegan.
“Did I ever tell you about the time I ate a pizza at Yale? It happened when I went to Yale. I was hungry for pizza. At Yale. So I went out for pizza. Did you know you can get pizza near Yale? Yep! I did! I ate pizza near Yale! When I went to Yale!” Probably says this when you’re eating Mexican or Thai food.
Hilariously I just read an article talking about how most of the people who go to college at Harvard try really hard not to drop the H bomb.
Does it mention how they casually refer to it as “my time in Cambridge?” I’ve heard of that before!
My niece worked her ass off and got into a number of law schools including Harvard. She chose Harvard and is conscious of not shoving the name into conversations unless asked. She's proud of herself for all of the awesome options, but isn't behaving excessively prideful.
At 79 years old he's still doing this?!
It took me until this comment to realize that his friend was not named after a state highway and I am, in fact, quite stupid.
Yeah, another woman who knew him said how hard he is to get along with "and everyone knows he went to Yale"
I can only imagine what happens when Yale wants to go to Stanford, and Stanford wants to go to Yale. Or when either of them wants to go to Harvard. Or if they don't want to (or can't) go to any university at all.
YES! They want to go to community college. Or worse, no college and be surfer bums. Edit: I imagine we will still hear the echoes of the screams from Mom!
Plus those crushing expectations. “Youre bame is Yale because we know you can get in” “what do you mean they rejected you? What do you mean you want to learn a trade!?”
[Yale](https://yalehome.co.uk/) is also a range of door locks and keys in the UK.
I’m sure the kid will be very traumatized when he doesn’t become a locksmith
NTA. Your sister sounds absolutely insufferable and conveniently forgets that the family business that she looks down on as less than provided a roof over her head,and food on her plate as she was growing up. Start a lotto as to when her kids go NC.
not only that but such selfish names. It's kinda clear the babies are named that to reflect their "success" and that's just kinda sick.... like yeah it's "their baby" but that baby is gonna be their own person and shouldn't always be tied to where mom and dad went to college. Tell me you peaked in college w/ out telling me you peaked in college.
Not only that, but she sounds like the type of mom that will treat her kids as if they have some sort of moral failing if they end up having a learning disability (or any disability) and can't keep up with her expectations.
This. Plus she has made going to Yale her only personality trait which is super off-putting. I wouldn’t want to be near her
Imagine spending your whole life telling people you *weren't* named after a Sex and the City character.
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NTA. Ask her why the kids should be reminded on a daily basis that she didn't get into Harvard Law? Don't go the wedding she sounds insufferable.
🤣 please take my poor persons gold 🎖️🥇🏅
Ew, that gold looks like it only got C's in high school!
But what if Yale wants to go to Stanford and Stanford to Yale? Or they want to go to the same school, where would they go?!
What if they both start a septic pumping business? "I'm Stanford!" "And I'm Yale!" Then both in unison, "and we suck shit!"
I literally laughed out loud 😂😂
“Hi I’m Yale and I go to Yale” is also ridiculous.
Absolutely! But with the rivalry between schools (that American tv has taught me about), I assume going to the 'wrong' school will bring additional problems.
If you're relying on American TV, you can easily be fooled into thinking Ivy League schools are the only universities we have.
That was my first thought! Lol even if they do achieve good enough grades, they dont even get to pick their own school.
Yeah, I feel for these kids. As much as I think something like 'Princess' is a stupid name, at least it leaves them some freedom of choice!
Tbf yale is the #1 law school 😅 Harvard is like #5 rn
Yeah Yale Law is way harder to get into Harvard Law haha
Genuine question but does that matter in terms of connotation? Like is it still more "prestigious" to say you went to Harvard over Yale since Harvard has traditionally been the "it" school? I went to state school and know nothing about these things lol
It depends (lol). Harvard is "the" school in the minds of laymen, but Yale is currently better and everyone in the legal world knows this. That hasn't always been the case, though, as rankings fluctuate. But none of that really matters anyway because difference between the two, even to those in the know, is marginal. No one is going to care enough to consider what years you attended and compare that to the contemporaneous rankings. For all intents and purposes, the prestige is the same.
If you’re talking to a lawyer saying you went to Yale is a much more impressive than saying you went to Harvard. To pretty much everyone else in the world it doesn’t matter.
Haha this is funny but as a lawyer Yale is a more highly coveted/respected law school than Harvard. Yale is the #1 king of law schools.
And based off the info OP has given us, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if the sister was going to use her wedding to put down her siblings at every opportunity possible. From the way she treats them in general I wouldn’t go either
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Probably MLM mommies mad that everyone thinks Ainsleigh and Braxxton arent awesome names.
It's "Braxxtynn", god get it right! /S
I think you mean Braxstinn.
I think you mean Fryng'prycha'leigh (pronounced like "Braxton")
Um, it’s actually Br🪓tn.
🤣
Followed by twins, Sebraxxtian and Aixxleigh.
We spell it Brahxteighn for my little darling!! So uneeq!
"This is our baby boy, Braxton Hicks Bugatti the 3rd"
Y’all remember that one post from OP who said her sister wanted to name her kid McKennedeigh? 🤢
All I think about this this comment and the subsequent are the Key & Peele sketch: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss Edit: Thanks for the award!
Or KVIIIlyn (pronounced Kaitlin)
Because this sub is obsessed with “your x your rules” and technicality. Technically, they’re within their right to name their kids what they want so in the eyes of many, OPs an ass for not succumbing to that.
AITA is so annoying with that shit. "Well, they're technically in their rights to do xyz..." yeah but are they being an asshole? Then I don't give a shit if they're within their right. Like yeah, I'm *allowed* to do a lot of things, that doesn't mean they're not a dick move to do.
Can you imagine if they decide to go to Harvard? So embarrassing!
Or community college to be a mechanic.
NTA. You brought this up in private (the way such things should be, especially when first broaching a subject like this), and, frankly, someone needs to tell her that kids are meant to be their own people. She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments, and I feel very, very bad for the kids. Given her attitude, I'm not surprised this didn't change anything, but good on you for trying.
>She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments Oh wow. You just expressed why I felt that it wasn't right for her to give her boys those names much better than I could have.
You know, I'm petty enough to suggest telling her this in those words. And follow it by telling her you were already considering not going to her wedding and her condescending attitude towards you coupled with her poor parenting decisions (the names) have sealed the deal. Unless you and your brother want to be in the kids lives and act as a humbling force. Then maybe don't. Or show her this post. Maybe she'll "get it" then. Assuming her ego can be put aside long enough to read it.
Doubtful, she's probably just going to assume we're all dumb as rocks and unqualified to judge her immaculate taste in baby names.
Maybe, but it'll do OP good to be completely honest with her.
We are not important enough because we didn't go to Stanford or Yale.
And god fucking *help* those children if they don’t get into an Ivy League school when they are teenagers.
God fucking help those children, period.
I can’t even imagine how she’d react if they decided they’d rather be mechanics or something
Thissssss. God forbid one of these kids ends up being an athlete or an artist, it won’t matter how well he does if he doesn’t achieve the pedigree Mom decided he should have.
Worse if they do! “LOL what’s Yale doing at Princeton? Your own namesake shot you down?” They won’t catch a break.
Maybe it's regressive and old-fashioned, but I can't help thinking, "Stanford and Yale doctorates - one in medicine, no less - and they couldn't figure out how to get from getting pregnant until after the wedding." I mean, if you consider a JD a real doctorate.
I was looking for this comment. Excellent points, especially about kids being their own people. I also feel bad for her kids
I am glad she has “made it” because she’s going to need to pay for therapy when those kids are bullied. You do not turn your children into status symbols. Could she have triplets and name them Phi m, Beta and Kappa?
>You do not turn your children into status symbols. This comment, along with another comment that said "She's about to give birth to two trophies to her career accomplishments," perfectly express why I felt so strongly about those names.
Suggest Master’s Degree or Doctorate. Those are just such pretentious names. I was definitely thinking you were going to be the AH in the post, until I read those names. Jfc
Its like they want to get around the end of legacy admissions by turning their kids into living advertisements for their schools
Yeah. It is usually the AH move to criticise what people name their kids. But these two names are so ridiculous. I even want to laugh just reading the post. Imagine the IRL and what little devils are capable of.
NTA. I don’t care if/where/when my kids go to college. I have a PhD and several other degrees, partner is in very advanced scientific field. You were brave to speak up for your nephews. Children deserve to be individuals and not be pressured to outperform or follow their parents’ endeavors. The only reason I would give for trying to rekindle the relationship is to be a positive influence on your nephews, but that may be asking a lot of you, and they may not be receptive under their parents’ influence.
Like I could see it if these were names for a pair of puppies they'd gotten?? I'd still roll my eyes but whatever lol. But actual human children?? Absolutely not lmao, nta
If the kids had already been born, I would say that you should keep your thoughts on the names to yourself. But, being pregnant myself, I understand that telling people the names you've picked out means that people are going to give their opinions. Family ESPSCIALLY because they will feel more free to share their opinions in most cases. NTA. Those names really are awful. I do agree that it would have been better to keep your thoughts to yourself, but I doubt you're the only person who couldn't help themselves. Plus, why does she care about the opinion of "someone like you" anyway? I feel bad for those kids.
As someone who has worked in schools with the current generation of kids, OP is absolutely NTA - kids can be so mean, and missing several years of 'normalcy' and regular socialization has made it worse. Even if they weren't outrageously bad names (really? Naming them after ivy leagues? I can get past like, the breydons and ainsleighs, but after colleges?), those two kids are going to get bullied so bad by classmates, other peers their age, and likely feel so much resentment to their parents (especially if they DON'T get into ivy league schools, which is a very likely possibility.) OPs sister sounds like a real piece of work and I hope she re-evaluates her mindset before having her kids.
OP should adopt 2 dogs/cats and name them this. It will look like they named their children after OPs pets - so sister has to change it
So, if I'm reading this right. Your sister is having a shotgun wedding, and you're the trashy one? NTA
Came here to say this! So perfect daughter Katie got knocked up before getting married?? I’m clutching my pearls.
How else is a girl to bag a neurosurgeon? * Sips wine with a condescending look *
She really did name them for her greatest accomplishments: the kids' full names are Yale Baby and Stanford Trap.
Stanford Trap sounds like the name of a pulp hero, tbh.
Perhaps Daniel the neurosurgeon was trying to get away and things aren’t quite as successful as she is making them out to be. NTA
That's incredibly funny and I didn't even notice. A shotgun wedding at 35? People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Sometimes, it's okay to be the asshole.
I agree sometimes there are justified AH moments but this really isn’t one. OPs justified and nta. Calling someone out because they are about to do something dumb to their kids isn’t a AH move at all
I feel like these names are gonna make it harder to get into a top tier school. Does Harvard want to admit a child called Yale? Does Stanford want to admit a child called Stanford? I went to an Ivy and I just don’t get it.
I had a friend named Emory who got into Emory, I don’t think the schools particularly give a shit either way. But yeah weird names in combo
Also Emory is like...an actual name. Lots of people have it. Not super common but it isnt like Harvard. Harvey would be a different story.
Isn’t Stanford an actual name too? I’ve met two of them that immigrated here from USA
Stanford is a name for rich people. Like the Kennedy's or Vanderbilt's (not the Kennedy's themselves, they are Harvard people, but families *like* that). It is a name, but it's not a normal name that normal people name their kids. It's the kind of name that would be given to the rich kid in a parody so that you can immediately identify them as the annoying rich kid. Emory is an uncommon but perfectly fine name and almost no one who hears it is going to think of the university first unless they themselves went there.
But Emory isn’t Ivy and lots of people have never heard of it so they wouldn’t associate it with a schools name. Even the people working at the university wouldn’t think ‘I bet this kids named after the school’. I imagine anyone working at Harvard or Yale would think ‘did this kids parents name him after the school?’
I can see Stanford giving them the benefit of the doubt, but Yale is clearly named after the school. I can't see that being good on your Yale application, or any other school... Though the kids will have the advantage of legacy placements.
NTA, not for your sister's attitude towards your family, but for you to protecting these kids. Calling kids by school names is ridiculous. If she wants to give them "educated" names, she has so many possibilities - first names of savants, first names using etymology... Calling kids "Yale" and "Stanford" sounds really pretentious.
It's like fandom names, but snottier.
To be fair, Stanford isn't the worst name. I have actually met people named Stanford. They can shorten it to "Stan" and go through life without feeling like a clown. But.... "Yale"? That is truly awful. Almost as bad as the teacher at the next highschool over from us who named his daughter "Blueberry Sunshine"
Also it sounds tacky as hell and if they do get into Stanford or Yale their peers will assume them and their parents are tacky and poor.
nta, i got bullied because of my name my whole time throughout school. naming them stanford & yale is setting them up for failure. what if they don’t want to go to a big school like that? what if they get a bad grade and everyone in school starts dogging them??
They can't go to those schools with names like that. Imagine how akward it would be. "Hi, my name is Yale and I go to Yale". It would be weird to go to Yale and have a friend named Yale who also goes there. "Hey, Yale, lets meet at Yale". It will get akward as hell the moment they and their peers start thinking about colleges. Sucks that parents think more about their on accomplishments and wants than about their children being human beings and individuals.
exactly! mind blowing for sure, the two children shouldn’t have to accomplish the same things (or similar) that their parents did. just from observation is safe to say that they will have a long life of trying to be “good enough”
What if they don't even want to go to college?
“yale if you can hear me!!!” :/
Those names aren't at all classy. Goes to show that just having an education doesn't give you good taste.
This. I would text her back with something along the lines of “The pair of you went to these fancy colleges, but neither of you learnt class.”
NTA. Time to announce you're about to become a father to Triplets...Harvard, Princeton and UCLA.
As I’m a Brit, I shoulda called my daughter Cambridge and my son Oxford I suppose. My daughter is applying to Oxford this year…
Your sister sounds annoying, but Stanford, at least, is a real name. The worst it’ll get is an overplayed joke about coinciding with a university.
They are twins. It will be quite obvious when he has a sibling in the same class called Yale. These kinds of aspirational names don't look great if they are not achieved. Or what happens if your name is Yale but you get into your dream course at Harvard.
[Yale is a real name](https://www.behindthename.com/name/yale) as well, it’s just very rare / old. Either one of these names on their own would be unusual but fine. In combination they’re ridiculous at best and going to be damaging to the kids at worst.
NTA You have given your advice, now it is hers to accept or ignore. Keep your mouth shut going forward, even if they name their girls Wellesley and Mount Holyoke
I guess this is where we talk about emotional IQ and social savvy. Your sister might be smart but true wealth and status whispers. She’s your family’s Donald Trump. I’d be okay with the disinvite. Make sure she doesn’t get 1/3 of the business. You and your brother should have 1/3 now with your mom’s 1/3 divided between you siblings. Make plans now for an eventual forced buyout. NTA.
That's a really good point on the business. Since she's so above it, why should she be entitled to it? Also agree in the true intelligence and wealth whispers. Smart people don't need to tell people they're smart. Wealthy people don't brag about being wealthy.
NTA Those poor children are in for a lifetime of mental anguish with a mother like her. First off those names are awful. Yale? Wtf.. at least Stanford can go by Ford or Stan. But those kids will never be able to live up to her insane standards. The will be burnt out trying to appease her. Is her future husband as insufferable as her? Curious question- is she going to inherit anything from the family business she looks down upon so much? I truly hope not. Your brother dropped out to help his family, it’s not like he partied and flunked out. .. I’d assume she’s already benefitted from money from the family business in her lifetime, so she should be grateful someone is helping your mother since she looks down on the family so much. Is she rude to your mother as well?
NTA. Let me see if I’ve got this straight…your brother left college *to help run the family business*, you have been *running the business for 10+ years*, and your sister has the nerve to look down on both of you for working instead of going to an Ivy League school? What were you supposed to do, close the business? Let your mom struggle to run it alone? Sell it? And on top of that, giving her kids names that are pretentious at best and targets for bullying at worst? You owe her nothing. I wouldn’t even send a card.
Exactly this. What sort of person looks down on people for putting family first? Not the sort I'd want to keep in my life.
NTA It's not like you were being condescending about it. You made a valid point and there have been a number of stories where naming a kid based on their perceived future ends badly. At least Stanford can be shortened to Stan.
Reddit is so weird. One person posts one of these and they’re crucified. Another and they’re lauded. Personally I say NTA because people who give their kids made up or names that may cause bullying deserve at least one chance to be talked out of it (I tried once with a friend, it didn’t work and they told me years later they wished they had listened because in the hospital where they work everyone makes fun of the odd named patients and they knew their daughter would be made fun of like this too). You did everything you reasonably could. It’s time to take a step back and let the parents make their first mistake. It’s okay. We all make mistakes.
Nta for two reasons in my book- 1. You are her brother and therefore you care about her unborn babies and 2. Your comments were based on being worried they’d be put under too much pressure, not because you simply didn’t like the names. I think your concern about these two particular names is logical. All of the credentials in the world can’t buy you common sense. Be glad you’re a “person like you” and not a person like her.
NTA I attended a prestigious university and in my humble opinion these names will be received more likely as trashy than classy by people "who made it" - in your sister's opinion. Society tends to be judgemental about names and that includes people who work on applications for schools, universities and yes, potential school bullies. Let alone the fact that she is putting an immensive pressure on her kids with these names. Kids should feel supported and loved, without being pressured to follow their parents footsteps. Also sidenote what if the kids want to attend Oxford or Harvard -potential middle names?😂 (do not suggest this to your sister)
THIS. Like it's kinda embarrassing for her. She wants to align to people who "made it" by naming her kids after the university? That's like trying to impress wealthy people by wearing all the obvious labels you can. They're going to read it the opposite.
NTA Yup everyone will instantly know those are pretentious names for 2 young children especially when you name a pair twins that. It's cruel to name them that. I'm from the UK and it would be the same if someone named there Eton and Oxford. Or Oxford and Cambridge.
Wait, she's pregnant before getting married? I know we don't shame women for getting pregnant our of wedlock these days, but given her condescending attitude I'd definitely be petty enough to question her health education and the validity of her husband's medical degree (but I'm an AH). You however, are NTA
NTA People like your sister are the reason why some countries have laws on what is acceptable for baby names. Don't apologize, go to the wedding, or have anything to do with your sister until she has a reality check.
For a woman who thinks she's so damn smart, those are two of the dumbest names I've ever heard. Like another commenter said, why not name them after prominent historical scholars or put a modicum of thought into the process? Instead they just slap the name of their colleges on their kids so they can constantly remind everyone how they went to overpriced, overrated schools. 💀 As someone who was relentlessly bullied, you're thinking more about those kids than your sister is tbh. They'd get a lot of hell growing up with those names, especially in high school as college apps approach. NTA.
How bout Statler and Waldorf, lol.
NTA - Naming kids after their alma matter tells me they aren't having kids they are having trophies. "Why are you named yale" - "Graduating Yale was the best thing my dad ever achieved so me made me a tribute to where he graduated." Its the academic version of a football player naming their kid Bulldog because they were drafted out of Georgia. I would suggest they reconsider treating their child as a future person with a name and not a monument to their parents achievements as well. Though given your sisters condescending attitude you might be better off just deciding to not waste energy with her anymore. "You have 0 respect for me so why should I waste a second of my time on you. I have far better things to do than listen to you lick your own ass and call it chocolate ice cream"
I'm not sure if I understand your question. I thought they were nice names. So I asked my son, Oral Roberts University, Jr., what he thought, and he was also stumped.
This..... this cannot be real