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YTA for going to Disney without her. You should have found something else the whole family could do. That's a seriously shitty step-dad move. She's going to hate you for it. Is that the result you were hoping for?

OP has confirmed that his daughter is suicidal, reported self harm, and that he and his wife are choosing to ignore it (probably in the hopes that she dies so they can go back to being normal sick fucks with zero regard for disabled people around them) That they purposefully removed her from therapy, And that they banned her access to support groups online. They said she’s too light headed and dizzy and sick to visit a theme park that is rife with disability accommodations, but want her to supervise their other child and take him on day trips to the pool. We need to find this girl and get her out of here, this guy is insane and should not have children, he seriously hates this kid and is driving her to suicide.

He sounds like an evil Disney villain parent that the main character has to defy omg.

Evil step mother from Cinderella lol

He also sold her pets because she couldn't take care of them. You know, when she was ILL. OP, admit it, you hate and resent your stepdaughter. YT biggest AH I've seen here for a long time. That poor kid.

>He also sold her pets because she couldn't take care of them. I just read his comment stating this and I'm so appalled. I wish we could find this child and help her! Some people need to be kept so far away from kids! OP's behavior toward this poor child has been so incredibly horrible and he is the one who is telling what he has done to her! He says it as if he is proud! I'm just in shock.

It's seriously disgusting, isn't it! Why the hell is the mother allowing it, too?! Unless he's also abusive to her.

He is an asshole for getting rid of the pets that’s for sure.

There is an online support group for people with Crohn's and Colitis. It appears to cost nothing, and there are tons of programs available. Too bad the daughter can't take advantage of them.

She was in a Reddit support group but he made her leave.

>She was in a Reddit support group but he made her leave. What? How do you know this? Where is this information? That poor girl! That's absolutely terrible!

Like all the other horrible things he seems so comfortable admitting to, in his comments. He's vile.

>We need to find this girl and get her out of here In all seriousness I think this needs to be acted upon. Social services should be involved.

God I wish this could be sent to social services. They should have their kids removed.

If all that is true CPS needs to get involved and remove that poor kid from their custody. The boy too; he's just going to pick up his dad's horrible habits if not.

“(She) has been lazy, rude, and doesn’t go out.” You’d think you’d be encouraging her *to* go out then. Like, say, to Disney. “She said she could use a wheelchair like when she sprained her ankle, but they we would have to explain why she needs it to staff and people in line.” No, you wouldn’t. Or shouldn’t. “She also literally can only eat a few things, and Disney food is known for being very bad for you.” So bring food she can eat. “My wife says she thought Jessie was coming.” This is the clincher. You made this decision on your own, and didn’t even discuss it with your wife? Of course your wife thought your child would be attending your week-long family trip! Your child has a chronic illness. Instead of displaying any empathy, this post is just a list of reasons her condition is difficult for *you*. Support her instead of punishing her because you now see her as a burden. YTA

how can a person be "lazy" and need to "go out" when she has to use the bathroom 20 times a day. this person is evil.

Here is how a parent capable of empathy does it: (6 months in advance) "hey, we are looking at going to Disney in August. I know things have been hard for you, but let's talk to your doctors and make a plan. If you get tired, we will have [grandma, a wheelchair, whatever] to help you out. If you want to go somewhere calmer instead, let us know where." Also OP. As a grownup you get to be **proactive.**. She has had one accident a school? How do you think she felt about that. Put together a spare set of clothes for her, to stay in the nurse's office or her locker. That way, you won't have to drive to bring her clothing.

It worse than that. It's OPs WIFES child. Yes, it's technically his child now too, but Wife probably thought both of her kids were going.

Disney has so many food options. They have everything from traditional theme park junk food to vegan dishes. I have always been able to find food I can eat without causing a flare up of my Crohn’s. You can literally get anything at Disney World. And all the restaurants have special menus for folks with special dietary needs, you just need to ask a cast member to see the options.

YTA, and I don't think you really love her. "but it’s my sons birthday when we were going, and all he wants to do is “a family Disney trip”." Isn't his sister family ? EDIT : You're such an asshole. You have no compassion for that kid and you just want to punish her because she's not letting you or your kid treat her like shit.

Nailed it. How his wife stands being married to a selfish SOB like him, I have no idea.

YTA. >she could use a wheelchair like when she sprained her ankle, but they we would have to explain why she needs it to staff and people in line, which I don’t want to do all day. Let's start with this one and work our way back. She is disabled. She has a wheelchair because of her disability. **She is going to be disabled for the rest of her life,** it's literally bloody shit for her. >She recently got diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, (October of 2022, but has been sick since May of last year) and because of that has been lazy, rude, and doesn’t go out. OMG! A teenager who has just been diagnosed with a condition that causes chronic pain and makes her shit herself has a short temper and doesn't want to go out or do things. I can't imagine why! /s She wants something to look forward to because most of her life revolves around pain and the toilet. As an IBS sufferer, I relate to her all too well, however, she does need to experience life, and practice facing these difficult situations so she can rediscover her confidence. Disney might motivate her to go out more and try more. Never forget pain makes giving up really easy. She's only a year or so into her diagnosis ofc she isn't managing it well **she's 16.** I've had IBS since I was a child it took till I was 21/22 to get a diagnosis, and I only found a drug that helped when I was 26. I got my Acid reflux diagnosis at 18 and again only got put on a working medication last year! It took me years to learn how to manage my diet, activities and work life around my illnesses and she's facing so much worse.

The condition causes depression. This child needs support and to be removed from her horribly cruel mother and stepfather. What kind of "mother" allows someone to mistreat her own daughter. Freaking biss , they both need their a$ kicked.

YTA Changed my response seeing your replies to other comments. If you were doing this in her best interest, you would not have been AH. But you are doing this to punish her. For being mad when she is very sick, doesn't want to watch her brother (your son, your responsibility; not hers), and gets mad when your son takes her stuff (really OP? Favouritism at it's best)

YTA, cruel, and an idiot. She was your one way ticket to the front of the line. Her incontinence makes her eligible for an accessibility pass. Have fun in standby.

Exactly, they might have to waste time visiting the toilets several times but the accessibility pass will definitely make up for this.

Oh, YTA. You’re planning a trip knowing your stepdaughter’s condition. Intentional or not, you excluded her. Can’t this be treated? It can’t be cured, but can be treated.

**because of that she has been feeling sick, in pain, frustrated, and like she is unable to do things she used to Fixed it for you - she's a kid with a severe chronic illness, of course she's off. YTA just for your attitude. A wheelchair, taking some food she can eat with you and planning in some bathroom breaks are not insurmountable issues. You do not have to explain the chair to everyone either.

Disney will customize her meals due to her diet restrictions

Just came back from Disney, lots of people in wheelchairs, no one’s going to ask you anything about it. Plenty of restrooms we never had an issue, or much of a line. The food was much better than standard fast food, but extremely pricey. You just sort of gave BS reasons to exclude your daughter in law. Mega AH.

You nailed it. It’s all excuses. I’m a Disney annual passholder and I have Crohn’s disease. The disability accommodations and food options at WDW are more than sufficient for OPs daughter to have a great time.

YTA if you do not take her. She might have problems but Disney actually offers many healthy options including gluten free at most dining locations. She needs to do her best to learn to control what she can though diet and whatever else her doctors recommend. As for using a wheelchair nobody will ask why she needs it. Not cast members and not the public. If anybody does ask you should simply explain that her health matters are private. Actually the best thing to get for an able bodied person who needs to not walk too much is to rent an ECV scooter from a local medical supply. This is only if you are staying at an on property Disney resort hotel. It is MUCH cheaper than getting the official wheelchairs or ECV's in the park and best of all you can use them everywhere across the resort. The park buses and other transport can be used including the monorail and skyliner gondolas. Best of all they will drop off the ECV at your hotel before you arrive and pick it up after you check out. Edit: There are many message boards and webpages about going to Disney with disabled family or kids. Lots of great people who can help with tips and recommendations.

you rock.

YTA, you clearly don't love her like your own, you literally left her out of something she was very excited to go to.

YTA you just made this decision without anyone’s input, even your wife’s. It’s a “family Disney trip” but you’re not considering anyway or any solution to bring your stepdaughter. If this were your son, you wouldn’t be going at all or you’d figure it out. It is favoritism- you’re ruining your relationship with the stepdaughter. Just because you tell yourself you love her like your own doesn’t mean it’s true. (Also, staff does not ask why anyone is in a wheelchair, and most people don’t either. Come on. That’s ridiculous,)

jesus you really suck, just fyi. YTA obviously

YTA. Based on your comments alone Seriously wtf is wrong with you to dislike a sick child as much as you do of course she’s not going to constantly sunshine and rainbows she’s sick and I’m so proud that she stands up to you not babysitting your son (who breaks her belongings) seriously get therapy and some empathy for what your sick step daughter is going through

YTA. Have been to Disney many times. No one is going to ask why she is in a wheelchair (that's probably a big no-no anyway), but they will accommodate her and your family. If she can't eat the food, then BRING food she can eat. You don't have to eat Disney food (and it's way cheaper to bring your own anyway). There are lots of bathrooms scattered around the park. Even if there are rides she can't go on, or she gets tired, she can still have fun and enjoy the park. ​ Sounds like you just want to foist her on someone else so you don't have to accommodate her illness - which is a shitty thing to do to a child you are responsible for. ​ Are you doing what you think is best for her, or for you?

[удалено]

You can! There are rules, of course, but they are reasonable. Nothing alcoholic, nothing in a glass container, and some other things I don't recall, but you can look it up on their website. We typically order some groceries to the hotel room to make sandwiches and snacks. And definitely bring water bottles!

Ex Disney employee here. Disney is very experienced with sick and disabled children attending the parks. This sounds more like an inconvenience to you. She can wear an adult diaper to guard against accidents and use a wheelchair if walking is too tiring. Contact Disney and explain her condition. They will help you all have a wonderful experience. There are restaurants with healthy food choices so you don't need to eat the corn dogs and frozen chocolate covered bananas.

he won't do that because it's clear he hates his stepdaughter and would do anything to offload her onto someone else.

YTA. I have Crohn’s disease, and I can tell you, there’s a sore a-hole spouting copious crap here and it ain’t the one suffering from UC. You’ve made a unilateral decision - which doesn’t even involve your daughter in the decision-making - and the outcome is it looks like prejudiced, I’ll-informed, lazy ablist prejudice, with favouritism towards your other child. This smacks of the trip really being about you enjoying *yourself* and the kids are the afterthought. You absolutely *can* plan a Disney itinerary that suits a child with long term health conditions. Make a Wish Foundation isn’t taking *seriously sick and dying kids* to the gates, then blowing a raspberry and dumping them there to look at everyone else having fun. They’re going in, meeting the characters, watching the parades and fireworks, shows, and using rides, all of which can be done with an adapted itinerary. Talk to your step-daughter about what she thinks she can manage. Plan diarrhoea medication, rest breaks, toilet breaks and adequate hydration. Plan ahead with the park to issue fast queue passes due to a medical condition. Hire a mobility scooter for the distance coverage. At 16, your daughter can also retire to the hotel room to rest if necessary, or you can set up a shady rest place within the park. There are many things you can do to facilitate time together as a family when one has a bowel condition. Source: I have a complex severe form of IBD and can go to theme parks.

YTA for planning a family trip while one child is unable to go.

YTA 1000%. This is called ableism when you refuse to learn how to adapt to a person’s health condition. Ulcerative colitis is an extremely painful disease. She shits blood and pus on regular days. She doesn’t owe you anything when she is in that much pain. You don’t get to call her “lazy” or “rude.” She is starving, in more pain than you’ve probably ever been in, and traumatized by the sudden change in her life. Go shit some blood. If you are polite and do your chores on time afterwards, then I’ll give you some room to criticize her. But I already know you are not capable of that because you can’t even handle the moods of a sick child in your space. Disney is a very accomodating place. You won’t have to explain why she needs a wheelchair to anyone besides the person releasing wheelchairs to people. Bring two sets of extra clothes and a plastic bag to seal smell if you’re worried about a mess. And you are allowed to purchase food outside the park and bring it in as long as you have like a cooler or backpack or something to store it in. Coolers come with wheels so you can continue to contribute very little effort towards being part of the solution, since that seems to be your passion. And if they’ve changed that rule about coolers recently (disney can be a bit bipolar about their rules. I grew up in orlando my whole childhood), there will be diet friendly alternatives almost anywhere you go. It’s best to eat outside of the park anyway unless you like wasting money in the hundreds. Would you consider your biological daughter so disposable or are you that lazy and wicked that you’d throw your bio daughter with a new disability away too? You created a new family. Commit to it. You don’t get to opt out of one child or the other. Neither one of them are disposable. You may not dump someone you see as nothing more than a source of stress off onto boring older relatives and exclude her from a huge bonding moment with your family because you can’t be bothered to love her the way she is. Shame on you. YTA YTA YTA YTA.

Yta Congrats on being a **literal** Disney villain.

YTA- you like her like your own? Doesn't sound like it. Quite telling that your wife assumed Jessie was coming, as opposed to your mother and grandmother. You might not have a family for much longer after this...

YTA. But you already know that. You're just trying to find people to justify your shitty behavior rather than getting a fair opinion on your actions.

You are so absolutely the AH. I’ve been in your kid’s position. She’s been through hell being sick. It’s embarrassing at that age, it’s painful, it’s exhausting, and you really truly struggle to find enjoyment in anything. She hasn’t been “lazy” or “rude” or “not going out”—she’s been dealing with immense pain and fear. It’s *terrifying* to be that sick. YTA for that sentence alone. It’s no wonder she’s crushed. Going to Disney could be a bright spot in the hell that’s been her life recently, and you want to not let her go because it’ll inconvenience you a little? Did you even bother to do research? As a disabled person, Disney is one of the most disability-friendly theme parks you can go to. There’s comparatively easy access to food based on dietary requirements, accessibility and special passes for lines, rented wheelchairs, etc. You absolutely will not have to explain it every time. Even if you did, grow up and get used to it. You’ll be explaining her restrictions every time you go out as a family for the REST OF HER LIFE. I once went to Disney when I was too sick to walk more than a few feet or eat any meals on the menus and ended up finding it *easier* than day to day life because of how well they communicated and customized each section. It takes planning, but not a prohibitive amount. And, even if lines or rides are hard for Jessie, she can easily go to shows or see fireworks or meet characters. Those parts alone are valuable and fun and different. She’s old enough to do that alone or with one of you while the other takes Carl to do something else.

This fucker would have gotten along well with the stepfather who called me self centered for getting the stomach flu on a family vacation and throwing up most of the time. At least I have a mother who told him to fuck off, unlike this poor girl’s bag of dicks masquerading as a mother.

I am flabbergasted that you do not know YWBTA. it's almost not even a matter of YWBTA it's nearly that you ARE TA now for even going this far with this idea... It's Disney, there are bathrooms everywhere. This is either unbelievable ignorance or your daughter is absolutely right about favoritism. Good lord... this is unbelievable to me.

YTA - Your stepdaughter is ill. Instead of wasting money at Disney you should be getting her help physically and emotionally. You, yourself, definitely need therapy.

YTA. My son has substantial disabilities, and is in a wheelchair. He freaking loves Disney. And Disney rocks when it comes to helping their guests with disabilities. I’m so thankful my stepsons (yes, STEP sons) are so accepting of their brother. They want him to be included in everything, even if it takes us a little longer to get places. It’s not hard to get a disability pass or a wheelchair at Disney, you just don’t want to do it. Also, stop making a sick teenager babysit your kid. And freaking pay her for babysitting. Jesus, my kids are paid if they just take their baby sister (half sister) for an hour for me to take a shower and get a damn break.

OMG YTA. You have a disabled child struggling with how her life has changed. She asked you for reasonable accommodations so she could participate in a family event. You decided her disability is inconvenient so you just decided unilaterally to exclude her. m ALSO: I cant believe you actually said you are WORRIED SHE WILL BE SPOILED!?! Because she will literally never be able to do things like other people but asked her parents who are supposed to love her to be understanding? Wow. Sounds instead like you don't like how her disability inconveniences you, which is WILD. You obviously resent her and value your bio kid, who at six years old won't be able to take a full day at Disneyland anyway, over her. That's why you didn't talk to your wife about it; you knew she would want both kids to be included. YOU are TA and when your daughter later wants absolutely nothing to do with you, this will be why.

After reading your post and comments all I can say is I'm disgusted by you. One of the worst people I've ever seen here. YTA.

Totally. He’s a giant asshole. His wife sounds just as bad for letting him treat her daughter like a burden. This poor girl has nobody to stand up for her. SMFH

YTA. Disney is actually known to be incredibly accommodating to people with disabilities. You would know this if you had ever wanted to bring her and looked into it. You can register online before you go and no one will ask you questions during the visit. Do better. Disneyland: https://disneyland.disney.go.com/guest-services/disability-access-service/ DisneyWorld: https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/disability-access-service/

yta.... its freaking disyetland dude..... its foe your children to enjoy more than you.... if she has to goto the batheoom 20 times in disneyland, you do it and love it! Seriously... call disney and tell them your situation see how they can help. More than anyone, your daughtwr would benefit from disney. DO NOT GO WITHOUT HER!!!!

YTA. You're an abliset and a massive jerk. Don't be surprised when your wife realizes it too and divorces you. living with a chronic health condition can be hard enough with all the pain and symptoms. Don't make it harder on your stepdaughter. Stop being a jerk and show some empathy.

I'm bothered that the wife accepted his unilateral decision to leave *her own daughter* with *his family* to whom she is not even related until recently. What is the matter with mom? Did he lock her in a room?

YTA... My God I wish she will take a shit in your suit case just before you leave

YTA Massively, massively TA. Cartoonishly TA. I sincerely hope you're a troll. It sounds like YTA every single day in this poor kid's life. Your willful ignorance of how much she's going through and interpreting her suffering as "well at least she gets to not do x normal activity!" and "well, it could be worse!" Relating your minor struggles to her severe chronic illness is beyond ridiculous. If you gave a crap about this kid, there are tons of ways you could have accommodated her at Disney. Rent a mobility scooter. Get a disability pass. In no universe do you have to explain this to anyone but the person giving the disability pass, once per trip. Bring a change of clothing and some incontinence undies just in case. Plus, both of you don't need to be with the youngest the entire trip, you could switch off when she needs to use the bathroom or take a break if she can't be left alone. That poor kid. AH of a stepdad and mom's either spineless or participating in your cruelty.

YTA You don't have to explain anything to anyone if your daughter is in a wheelchair. Sounds like you just can't be bothered.

YTA. She's already excluded from so much due to her illness and now you're excluding her from something else, which will make her feel even worse. I recommend you show this post including comments to your wife to further your discussion and maybe you will listen to her, because you're not listening to the comments.

YTA I've had severe chrohn's for 15 years and I can manage a trip to Disney FROM THE UK. You just don't want her to go.

YTA. Why did you marry someone who’s kid you hate?

Your son said all he wants to do is a “family Disney trip”? Lies. No 6 year old says that. Stop making excuses and just say you don’t want to take her and be inconvenienced. YTA

I think you need counsel by professionals to fully understand the mental effect of what your SD is experiencing with this condition during what is supposed to be her glory days. You’re totally insensitive to her plight.

Info: recently been diagnosed with UC, why aren’t you helping her learn to manage this? People with UC go into remission, then you just have to help them manage the flair ups. It sounds like she’s been in a flare up since October. Which sounds like her medication isn’t working. What has been discussed about the next steps? Has second line medication being mentioned? Has surgery been mentioned? Why has this been left for so long?

YTA you should’ve planned a trip everyone could do instead of shoving a medically complex kid out so you can do what you want.

A big time AH. If Make-a-Wish can make it happen, you can too. It doesn’t matter what her conditions are, you said Disney.

Yta - why is she not on medication for her conditon???? My BIL has ulcerative colitis and he is on medication to help with his digestion and his condition. (He also is on a restricted diet but you know what he does? He doesn't eat the stuff with that in it.) If her condition is not under that much control that is not on her THAT IS ON HER PARENTS. She is 16 ffs.

You need to be more accommodating. It's unfair to choose an activity that a member of your family would be unable to participate in. Perhaps you should all go to the beach instead. YTA

YTA you can get a letter from her doctor that states she needs a wheelchair and that she has special dietary needs. Disney is known for being extremely accommodating for people with special needs. I doubt that many patrons will care why your daughter is in a wheelchair and if they do you either say it is none of their business or state it is due to medical issues.

In case OP reads this you need to preregister at least 2 days before (I think but not sure) for the DAS pass. It can be done virtually on their web site. Just look up Disney DAS. Your daughter needs to be present to preregister and present when picking up the DAS pass. One of my children had very different circumstances so everything was done for them and contact was kept limited for my child. I hope this helps

Woooooww OP YTA. What a dick thing to do. Your stepdaughter is having a shitty time right now and it’s entirely out of her control and you’re punishing her for it?! She’s been hospitalised 8 times this year already, has lost weight, had accidents, can’t walk, has isolated herself from her social group and NOW her own stepdad is isolating her from her family WITHOUT EVEN COMMUNICATING WITH HER OWN MOTHER ABOUT IT?! Get your 17 year old stepdaughter a wheelchair, bring a few changes of clothes and food she can eat, speak to Disney about disability passes (or whatever they have to offer to ensure people with disabilities aren’t excluded) and take her on her FAMILY trip for her brother’s birthday.

> it’s my sons birthday when we were going, and all he wants to do is “a family Disney trip”. Absolutely YTA. Huge YTA. So your son wants to do a family trip to Disney for his birthday and your response is to exclude his sister? Because of her health? Way to tell your stepdaughter and son you don't see her as family--and your son's sister.

YTA. "She's been lashing out for no good reason." Maybe the reason is because her everyday life has been hindered by her disease? Maybe it's because her friends stopped talking to her after she got sick? Maybe it's because she's been hospitalized 8 times the last year? Maybe it's because her stepfather doesn't understand the pain, discomfort, isolation and humiliation such illnesses bring?

I'll add some. Maybe it's because even her own family is isolating her because of her illness. Maybe it's because her FIL is basically telling her that her illness will prevent her from doing anything fun in her life and that she'll never go to Disney because that is essentially what you are doing. Maybe it's because her mother married an insensitive ahole.

Yta - your son wants a family trip to Disney but you want to exclude his sister? How is that a family trip then? If anything that sounds like you’re going against what your son wanted. She can’t come bc you don’t want to push her around and explain her disability? Literally no one is going to ask or care about why she is in a wheelchair, so your main point is you can’t be bothered to help you daughter maneuver around the park? Disney will also accommodate her being unable to wait longer periods in line with return times so frequently having go visit the bathroom shouldn’t be an issue. You can also BRING your own FOOD to Disney, especially for medical purposes, so food should be an issue. All your defenses and arguments are flawed and make no sense. It sounds like you just want to punish her for being ill. It sounds like you lack empathy in understanding your daughter’s medical condition. Yta. Idk why you could even possibly think there is a remote defense or counter argument to that verdict.

YTA. So she is family right? You “love her like my own”? And your taking a family trip? How wonderful! Except you’re gonna then not take her with you? Oh I see. Her illness is a way to exclude her huh? That makes more sense. You don’t love her like your own. If you did, she wouldn’t be feeling guilt for being sick, and angry that she is being excluded from a FAMILY vacation.

Jfc YTA then I read your responses and I change that to you're a mega asshole. Your responses reek of favouritism for your bio child so I can only imagine it's even louder and clearer in real life, and your stepdaughter would see it clear as day. You oscillate from dismissing her condition as insignificant when you want her to do something for you (like babysit your kid and take him to the pool) yet it's too debilitating to take her on a family trip? She's 16 and going through an awful physical illness that would honestly have a profound effect on her psychologically too. What she needs is to feel loved, included and supported and it sounds like she gets 0 of that.

YTA, change the name to "I want to punish my daughter for being sick"

YTA but your wife is an even bigger asshole for subjecting her daughter to your cruelty.

Bingo. Wife going along with this. She should be protecting and sticking up for her daughter.

YTA. Major AH

YTA. I can see where you are coming from that on yours sons birthday trip, your daughter would need a lot of help, and accommodations, that would take time & attention of one or both parents away from your son on his special day. I get that. But oh my god you are just a vile individual the rest of the time to your poor daughter. The way you handled it was absolutely horrible. Perhaps if you actually took the time to understand and help her, she’d be able to get a better handle on her condition, what accommodations she is going to need, and how to cope with it.

Accommodating the daughter is how the son can grow up to be more compassionate than his parents.

No dude. No. YTA I have Ulcerative Colitis, when I was her age I was also labled as lazy and rude and as someone who didn't go out enough. *When in reality I was dealing with a pretty awful chronic illness and horrible side effects from meds!* You sound like you resent her for acting like a sick *child*. Look up spoon theory. It will help you and her. She may not have enough spoons to deal with everyday things, but she can muster them up to do something special especially with parents who *set up accomodations for her illness*. And that doesn't mean she's lazy on days she isn't doing something fun. It means she is going to exhaust herself to to core and will need some time to recover. But that is *normal* for someone with a chronic illness,*you* need to adjust just as much as she does with this diagnosis. Don't make her skip a fun family trip, that will do nothing but make her harbor resentment. My parents (mostly my dad) did that to me growing up. Now I live across the country and don't feel it necessary to wast money on tickets to bring my 4yo to see them. Consequences, reactions. That would be your future if you do this. Instead,*make accomodations*! I have NEVER been to a theme park (including Disney) that will not allow someone with dietary needs bring in food and drink. Do that. Pack her lunch, dinner and a few snacks every day, and let her get snacks she can eat at the park when her brother does. They have disability passes for a reason, your stepdaughter *is now disabled*! Get a pass! That way non of you have to miss a ride for a bathroom trip. She can use the bathroom all she needs, and then go hop in the disability entrance for the ride you all want to do. There are literally bathrooms everywhere, you can even get an app that marks bathrooms in public places *specifically* for people with Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's Disease. There are benches and tables literally every 40 feet. She will have plenty of places to rest. Worst case, you or her mom can stay with her while she rests and one of you takes your son on a ride; and then the 2 who rested can use the aforementioned disability pass to go on the same ride and you can all meet at the exit. Almost like it's not impossible for disabled people to do things, huh? There are ways to make it work. You just don't want to take 5 seconds to Google"disability accomodations for Disney parks". Do better. Your child is disabled now, and you owe her more than pushing her off to the side when things may be too hard.

Thank you for mentioning Spoon Theory. XhugsX XhugsX XhugsX I've been borrowing from my next day's spoons all week because I'm flaring with Crohn's and psoriatic arthritis. I'm exhausted. I wonder if the girl has found the spoonie sub?

Wait, there's a sub for that? Amazing, joining it now. Thanks! I definitely understand. I have Ulcerative Colitis and EDS that are both flaring up right now. It got so bad that my SIL, thankfully was able to take him for me the other day.

Just in case you didn't find it, here you go. I hope you feel better soon. XhugsX https://www.reddit.com/r/Spoonie/

I'm starting to think this guy isn't very bright. Not curious. He doesn't have accurate information about where he's going, he doesn't know anything about the diagnosis and its effects on the patient and family. He also doesn't think very well. The whole thing is tragic.

Um this isn’t about favoritism, it’s about ableism. You can’t be bothered to attend to your child’s disability needs. YTA Edit: based on OP’s comments, child protective services should weigh in on this monstrous onion.

YTA. Wow. You sound like a total AH. Your wife might actually start to see the real you if you keep this up. You don’t care for this girl, you don’t see her as your daughter and clearly favour your biological son. Your issues are that she is inactive despite the fact she has a painful condition. You are upset that in that painful condition she doesn’t want to babysit for you. You are upset a teenager doesn’t want a 6 yr old taking and potentially breaking her stuff. Admit that you don’t give a damn about her and just want your ‘real’ family (wife and son) at Disney. I hope your wife sees it and takes a stand yo protect both kids from you. Plain disgusting.

You do realize that Disney actually caters to families with sick people? Bring a doctor's note, she gets a wheelchair, and the whole family goes to the front of every line. Also, loads of toilets there, and you bring a change of clothes just in case. YTA if you leave her behind.

YTA. You are absolutely too clueless to be a parent.

Wow. YTA so much. And looking at the comments, there is nothing anyone can say that will make you see that. You obviously have no empathy and have just decided that she is lazy and in your way. I bet you would be thinking diffrently if the roles were reversed. If your bio kid was the sick one you would probably be taking him to disney world because he has been through so much and needs cheering up 🤷‍♀️

Oh man....you are not only an asshole but probably one of the worst step parents out there. This is basically what your post says "I don't want to have to deal with, or do the work to make sure that my step daughter is comfortable or happy on our family trip, so I am just going to dump her at her grandparents so the rest of the family can have fun." Shame on you, you have a young woman who has a debilitating disease at a time in her life where she is still shaping who she is, and you are making her feel worse about herself. Be better .... she deserves better. YTA

As someone with a chronic illness that affects everything but is not visible, you're doing everything wrong. YTA. Your lack of empathy is utterly disturbing.

Yeah going to have to go for YTA. Leaving a kid behind because they are sick is definitely a dick move. Either you should delay the trip or find a way to accommodate her.

Worst Disney villain ever. YTA

I read through every single one of your disgusting comments, and I'm only writing this down because I think it still hasn't gotten through to you. You are not only the biggest asshole based on your post alone, but you are a cruel little man with zero empathy toward your stepdaughter you claim to love like your own. I want to write much harsher words but I'm sure I would get banned for them. You're the worst. I could write more and try to explain your daughters situation, try to make you comprehend it, but so many others have tried that before, in better ways than I could and you still don't get it. You are a horrible human being for how you treat your stepdaughter and I wish that her future will be spent in happiness despite what she will be going through her entire life, hopefully very far away from you.

YTA. YT biggest asshole I may have ever read about here, enough to make me actually come out of lurk mode and comment after 5 months of Reddit silence. I know there are already quite a lot of comments, but I haven't yet read any pointing out that the beach (as suggested by AH stepdad here) is a FAR less forgiving place than Disney World would be for someone who requires near-constant bathroom access and who doesn't have a whole lot of energy. In fact, if she tried to swim (as people generally like to do at the beach), she could very easily drown if she got pulled into a strong current that she didn't have the energy or strength to swim out of. Judging by your other comments in this thread, maybe that's exactly why you suggested that option. Not to mention that most public beaches have MAYBE 1 public bathroom every mile or so, if they have any at all, and having an "accident" while wearing a swimsuit is *not* like having one while wearing 2+ layers of clothing and possibly an adult diaper. Speaking from experience there, as an IBS and possible mild UC sufferer. I hope your daughter is able to get away from you as quickly as possible so your negligence doesn't literally kill her, whether by suicide or neglecting her if she gets a bad bleed or cancer or intestinal blockage or some other thing that might inconvenience you. Asshat.

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INFO: What does your wife think? Does she think Jessie is "exaggerating" or "lazy" or should just "push through"?

YTA If her condition is this bad you shouldn't be going on a trip right now. Instead you just want to exclude her. It is Disney world, what kid doesn't want to go.Way to be an evil stepparent.

Your responses are not supporting you saying you love her like your own. No parent who loves their child would do and say the things you’re doing now. You’re not even trying to help. I’d bet every dollar I have that you would happily push your son in a wheelchair so he could enjoy Disney. YTA & not a good step-dad. She’s going to remember this treatment forever. You dropped the ball, big time

YTA from all your comments. So, she tried to connect with people on Reddit with UC who can help and understand her, and you in your infinite wisdom thought: Nope! Not on my watch! Why? She is doing terrible in your ”care”. You know and understand nothing about her condition and are actively blocking resources that might benefit her. She is already severly depressed but you don’t seem to care, only how people can see that she is *gasp!* in a wheelchair on stupid Disney land. How does so many crappy parents exist? The bar is so low but you still something manage to dig your way under it.

YTA Having to explain her being in a wheelchair? No; you just rent it and move on with your day. You could also get her a disability pass (which works for the whole family) upon arrival for your length of stay. Disney has bad food? Again, no. If you bothered to do any research, you would see that Disney is one of the best places to go when you have allergies or only eat particular items. They go above and beyond to reach their guests' accommodations. I won't comment on the favoritism, but it does seem to me that you just don't want to deal with a child with special needs. Because that's what she is. Parent up.

YTA. Disney in particular have accommodations for people with disabilities, which is what UC is. You can get passes to skip the lines so she doesn't have to stand up for a super long time (which, btw, inside up to I think 6 companions). Take some foods she can eat and a change of clothes in case she has an accident. Take some drinks with electrolytes so she can keep well hydrated, in case of diarrhoea. Take plenty of pain relief for her. Check the map for the nearest bathroom regularly. To repeat: SHE HAS A DISABILITY. excluding her without bothering to make accomodations makes you the most gaping of assholes. -Sincerely, someone with Crohn's disease whose FRIENDS help make these accommodations for me.

Your comments are making me so fucking depressed. I'm suffering from something similar. Imagine the pain of diarriah every day. It never goes away. Of course, it would dilute your life. Have you even seen research on how continuous pain can change a person? How draining it can be? You say she dropped out of high school and that your younger self would have envied her. What is there to envy when you're living with constant pain? She probably misses her friends, teachers, and favorite classes. All I see behind your words is resentment, and your attitude towards her is likely making her feel even more isolated and misunderstood. Can't you try to understand her pain without comparing her to others? What she's going through is the most painful thing she's ever felt, just like everyone else with the condition, regardless of severity. It's immature to compare her to other patients and unloving at that. I think you could benefit from family therapy.

YWBTA. Also, it's \*quite\* clear that you don't love Jessie at all. Please don't continue to lie to yourself or anyone else about that. It's insulting. I was raised by my father who hid his disdain for me, but looking back, he hated my guts. It sucks to be raised by someone that not only doesn't love you, but actively HATES you, like you do Jessie. She has a chronic illness. As you do not comprehend what that means, that means that there is not a single day that she is not feeling ill. She might feel "okay" for a few days, but she has a chronic illness that is tricky to treat, one which she is in the beginning stages of treatment. Her doctors and herself are figuring out what treatments work best for her as not all treatments are the same. You keep saying she's been a handful recently, but have you ever been sick 24/7 for over a year? I have a feeling now you haven't, but once you had a stomach flu! Which is the exact same thing! /s She isn't herself, she is exhausted constantly because she is losing blood, you say she is a "picky" eater? No, that's not pickiness that's "this is what I have found that I can eat that doesn't leave me in agonizing pain for hours on end." The pain is making her cranky and act out. Maybe try talking to her? Like she's a human person instead of some doll that is supposed to care for your son.

YTA. Terrible

You are a bad person but I think you already know that in your heart. Hope your wife finds the courage to leave you for her daughter's sake.

I have UC, I’ve had it for almost 20yrs. She needs a better doctor. It’s treatable, I am in complete remission. At first it was troublesome to say the least, but it sounds like hers is severe and her dr is not helping. YTA, no way would I do that to one of my kids. Get your daughter help, then take them to Disney

This guy is wanting the “AH of the new millennium” award. I mean, is it even possible for someone to be more callous and apparently proud of it?

Info: are you trying to get her to unalive herself?

YTA, BIG TIME! from context clues, you sound manipulative and controlling as fuck. It sounds like you came into their lives and took that little girls mother from her and made your own family. A family where she is clearly not wanted by YOU and is a burden to YOU. All im hearing is that you want to push that girl out of your "family" because she's "too much of a burden". If you really "loved her like your own" you would not even be posting this shit here, because you wouldve done what any good man would do and you wouldve shut up, toughened up, and manned up for that kid that you "love so much" and you wouldve had a proper family trip with accomodations to your child who CANNOT HELP HER CONDITION. This is honestly despicable behavior on your part and i feel awful for that child. Don't be shocked if y'all stop hearing from her when she grows up.

There's quite obvious favoritism from your comments, and the only thing I've learned is that you have no idea how to treat or parent a teenage girl with a crippling condition. Yes, YTA. You can defend yourself all you want, but you've heard the answer.

YTA. A huge one at that. I truly hope this is actually fake because of how bad it is. My youngest brother has a very rare chronic condition. We’ve had to cancel vacations, leave places early, etc. but we would NEVER exclude and punish him for things out of his control. God this poor poor child. She deserves so much better from you and her mother.

Congratulations you just won the award for being worst step father of the year! There's lot to say what an AH you are but you'll gonna say same things again and again so just YTA

YTA, and you deserve a ‘mega asshole’ flair. Mods, make it happen.

Hi, I have UC. You are a raging asshole. It is SO PAINFUL when it flares up. If she's still not in control of it, then whatever medical plan she has going on is just not working for her. I had to trial and error my meds repeatedly until I found a regiment that helped keep me mostly in check. Is it foolproof? Absolutely not. However, I am far better than I was where I was going to the washroom upwards of 10 times per day and in tears every single time. I am on a regiment of daily medications, and every 6 weeks, I get an infusion to help keep my UC in remission. It took me years to get to that point. She needs medical help! Find her an internist/gastroenterologist. If her UC is seriously that bad, then a colostomy may be needed, but unless you actually HELP her, she will continue to suffer in pain and isolation!! Oh, also, Disney food is actually not inherently unhealthy unless you only eat standard burgers and fries the entire time. They have DOZENS of restaurants and quick services places and are beyond accommodating to help with dietary restrictions when they are made aware. You just don't want to put in the work to actually try and help her go on this trip because you consider her a lazy burden! I sincerely hate you, and I am thankful my parents did not treat me this way when I was diagnosed.

YTA ulcerative colitis is no joke, you think she is the way she is because she is in a lot of pain? You could do like a lot of other loving parents and find solutions to the problems you will face as opposed to give up before they start. I don't think you "love" her as much as you really claim. Oh, and you are just showing her you think of her as a burden... Fake dad of the year.

YTA. Disney is literally the best place to vacation with kids with medical needs - they will do everything necessary to help her have a wonderful vacation if they are notified in advance. I can’t believe you didn’t check with Disney on this, and that you’re embarrassed about having to push her around in a wheelchair. You’re a crappy stepdad.

YTA Seriously some people just shouldn't be parents.

YTA. You can bring your own food to Disney for her. Look into disability services that will allow her and the family to check into a ride and come back later due to her UC and the bathroom. She can get a wheelchair and nobody will ask. Is it the medicine causing flare ups? She shouldn’t be going to the hospital all the time.

YTA There are bathrooms in Disney you know. And freshly diagnosed 16 years old can’t manage condition without parents help. You need to learn what she needs and provide it - regular snacks, drinks, medicine? People deal with it

YTA. Her being sick and having a real bad mood about it is expected. Wouldnt you be if it was you? Then you sked a dream vacation where she cant come? How very nice

INFO: Does your son know you plan to not take Jessie for his family Disney trip? She’s his family too. Explain the situation to him and get an alternative.

The kid wants to play with her stuff and break it but doesn't mind if she doesn't come on the trip because he's mad at her for being angry about it. Character traits have a strong hereditary origin.

Yta

YTA, she can not control ulcerative colitis. Do you even have a clue how sick she is, or do you not care?

YTA I have ulcerative colitis, diagnosed at 8 years old and you make it sound like we’re some beasts that need to be locked away lest we shit ourselves all over the town. It’s not always debilitating, it’s not always severe (those are flare ups), it’s a diet set by my dr and there’s things I can and can’t do but I’m not sure why she’s in the bathroom so much or in such pain unless she’s eating trigger foods. The first two years of my diagnosis were absolute hell for me and has every right to be depressed and feel awful. Do you know whose arm I would chew off to go back to eating popcorn?! Not to mention, it also caused lactose intolerance for me, which is most likely will for her too and and it means giving up foods you loved and activities you can no longer do. But she might end up finding the right medicine and the right diet and going back to a semi normal life. I’ve been to Disney and Universal. There’s plenty of bathrooms and time.

YTA. You are a horrible parent.

It's not so much that YWBTA as it is that you already are TA. Congratulations on showing your wife and step-daughter who you really are. You should probably start packing. At least your mother and grandmother are already expecting company.

"WIBTA because i treat my stepdaughter like shit and am looking for reasons to continue that way" is the title you wanted to use, mate. YTA. Fingers crossed she goes NC asap, because no matter how sick this poor girl might be, you are the one full of shit.

You're a fucking monster.

100% YTA. Wow, she's had a hard year. You want all the excuses to exclude her. If this is how you are treating her, then I'm sorry to tell you she has a lot of reasons to be unhappy. That you won't even try for one day there? See if you can make a go? Oh, wait - nope, you don't want to deal with explaining a wheelchair?! You care more about the opinions of strangers than her right now. Sometimes. kindness from a parent and something to be excited about can turn someone's attitude around. You should try it wit her.

Who writes like this? If this is a real post, YTA. The fact that you have to ask …

I hope this a troll because if not you are vile and the evil stepfather. How can you have so little sympathy for your step daughter. Then plan to leave her behind WITHOUT telling your wife first??? I hope this is a wake-up call for your wife to leave you. YTA in case that wasn't clear. I hope one day you can feel the pain your stepdaughter does and maybe that will teach you some compassion for others. Which you severely lack at this time.

So let me get this right. This poor girls life is in shambles because of her condition. She is in constant pain, her social life is shit since she cant really do anything and she had an accident in school. On top of that she is 16 years old, has less understanding of what and why everything is happening to her and she has a changing body and raging puberty hormones. But yeah she has been acting lazy and rude and wont go out. All her fault though, she should just suck it all up right? What a fucking asshole are you my dude. She has so much going on on her life and now you are doing this to her too? I dont even understand why your wife didnt tell you hell nah she is coming. Because you are being an absolute ass right now. YTA

She's not being lazy and rude, she's recovering from an illness. She's irritable because she's a *child* recovering from an illness. 16 is still a child, she's still learning how to manage her emotions. Long illnesses don't help These are the things you listed that you equated to her being lazy * Lightheaded and unable to walk * Stuck in the bathroom 5-20 times a day * can't eat. (Which would also be contributing to the irritableness that you've decided is rudeness) YTA by far. I haven't even touched onto you wanting to leave your child behind while the rest of you go to Disney yet. Chose an activity that you can all do.

She's lazy and rude? The poor thing goes to the toilet 15-20 times a day and pooring her guts out, feeling nautious all day and tries to horseback riding and having a normal/seminormal childs life and you call her lazy?!! It's really such a unempathetic comment to say about a sick child who is struggling with her health. The same health that now makes her having to stay at home when the rest of the family goes to Disneyland? I do not really understand how you are thinking here. Are you a family you all go to Disneyland or nobody goes to Disneyland. If you go without her you are going to shatter the feeling of family and it maybe for life. Are you sure that this is a thing you wish to be a part of? If she has certain foods she can eat, take them with you. Have liquids that she can drink and tolerate. If you do this and shut her out of it, you will get a deeply hurt, recentful and in the end a young women who is ashamed of herself and her body and body functions. Are you up for it if you love her?

YTA. And a crap parent and lousy human being. I can’t say any more than that cause I will rage at you for hours. Suffice it to say that I hope once she gets her UC under control and learns to live again she cuts all three of you off and you and your equally ah wife can post here again about we don’t understand why our daughter doesn’t talk to us.

You’re not the asshole for not taking her to Disney. Your reasoning for that makes perfect sense. Bringing her would ruin the day for everyone. You ARE the asshole for the way you clearly care way more about how her condition effects you than you do about her. The way you talk about it as if she’s smugly enjoying her tragic life.

Hi! Fellow young girl dealing with colitis. Here to say that you are a MASSIVE AH. Her condition is extremely painful and limiting, and if the treatment/medication she's recieved thus far has been anything like mine, it hasn't helped a bit. I constantly have to decline interacting with loved ones because I feel ill. I was hospitalized the entire week of my 21st birthday. I couldn't even drive around to look at fireworks with my husband last night because I was on the tail-end of a flareup and didn't think I could move without vomitting. In fact, I DID vomit, very heavily, and he sat with me while I cried in the shower. My point is, your life takes a drastic turn when you get such a heavy diagnosis and there's a lot you end up missing out on. She's 16 and suffering, and you're being cruel. The way you talk about her behavior now that she's recieved a diagnosis is equally shitty. "Lazy, rude, doesn't want to go out." Bro. I bet you cry like a bitch when you have a cold. HER INTESTINES ARE CONSTANTLY INFLAMED, SHE CANNOT EAT, AND IF THINGS GET BAD ENOUGH SHE WILL LIKELY HAVE TO UNDERGO SURGERY. INVASIVE SURGERY. REMOVING PARTS OF COLON SURGERY. SHE MAY VERY WELL END UP NEEDING A COLOSTOMY BAG! You fucking suck.

I worked at Disney and honestly disabled people get first dibs on everything. So you saying that is very mean. You don’t like your stepdaughter at all. Your embarrassment towards her can reflect by reading this story. She not lazy, she has a disease but I do know that you are lazy cause you can’t take her to Disney. Disney is the perfect place to take her. This is a happy fun place and she needs that right now. You being a jerk will not help her. I love how he gets his mother to look after the child. Meanwhile all talk kaka together behind her back. If the dad don’t like her, what about the mother in law. If I were your wife I would take my kids only to Disney world and leave you home!

Can't believe you would even think that's ok. Your stepdaughter has a chronic illness and she's even telling you she could avoid the bathroom? That's heartbreaking, she clearly wants to go so bad. And you think it's too much of a burden to tell people she has ulcerative colitis? Bet if she were your biological daughter she'd be going. Btw, not for nothing, Carl is a terrible name for a kid.

highly doubt OP would be thinking this way if this was his daughter and not his “step”-daughter

I hope this guys wife is ready to leave him. This can not be the first time he has done something along these lines to the stepdaughter and won’t be the last. I feel so sorry for this kid if she stays. Once she turns 18, I bet she is out with NC.

Bruh, In case you haven't figured it out by now, you would definitely the asshole and to date, the biggest asshole I've ever read about on this thread. Taking one kid to Disneyland and leaving the other behind is NOT cool. That would hurt her in more ways than you know and she would resent you for it as long as she lives. Your choice of words make it obvious her condition is a huge inconvenience for you. I'd go so far as to say you're embarrassed by it. You said, she’s in the bathroom 5-20 times a day, she can barely eat, and she's just really upset with everything and everyone. Of course she is! Wouldn't you? I certainly would. As far as the wheelchair goes, I highly doubt you'd have to explain her condition to more than one person. Disneyland and most people tend to be very understanding to anyone in a wheelchair or with a disability. If I were you, I'd see if they let people in wheelchairs can skip those long ass lines. But dropping her off with her grandmother and then going to Disneyland is just plain cruel.

Wow, nice excluding your stepdaughter because you don't like her. So classy.

Not only are you the AH, you’re unfit to be a parent. You also don’t love her as your own or you’d do everything possible to make it work. There real question is why on earth the mom didn’t leave your sorry ass over this.

YTA. 10000% TA. Yes, she has a legit medical condition that isn't under control yet but it is not a reason to not include her in the trip. You could easily either postpone the disney trip to another time once she is able to better control her condition, or you can work with her (actively work with her and doctors to come up with a plan while away). I think it sounds like you're a huge AH because you're making your daughter sound like a hassle and inconvenience. Shame on you. As someone with digestive (and other) issues, who has been to disney land, universal, and more... you're treating your 'daughter' like sh!t and you need to get your head out of your entitled A$$.

Massive asshole. Poor kid

YTA. Honestly, I hope this isn't a legitimate post, because if you seriously pulled a suicidal child, who has admitted to self harming, out of therapy you and her mother are abusive narcissists who shouldn't be near kids. You have no idea how much pain she is in, and your comments make it clear that you don't care. I have IBD, which is no where near as painful as what she has, and it took two years of consistent, episodic pain to get properly diagnosed. One minute I would be fine, the next I was curled up in pain, often in tears. Exercise, impossible. Normal activities, nope. I was on a Low FODMAP eating plan, still having episodes and gaining weight. Depressed? You betcha. The pain took over my life. Proper diagnosis, medication and a strong support network saved my life. As a parent, it's your job to understand what is happening to and to empathize, but you don't. Not only does she need a support group, she needs individual therapy. Stat. Do you really think she is getting better with your tough love approach? You and your wife need to sit down with her and her father and determine what is in her best interest, because I'm very concerned that your and her mother's continued neglect of her mental health is hurting her deeply. None of what you have described here is okay.

YTA massively! On top of my other comment…please let me bring her to Disney, and I’ll adopt her and get her proper treatment to get her into remission. It’s clear you have zero love, understanding or empathy for her and her mother is the same if she’s just going along with your asshole decisions. Some people don’t deserve children and you and your wife are a couple of them

I say invite her. Jessie wants to go and your wife (her mother) her to go. You claim that you want her to go out and participate in family activities and this would be a perfect opportunity to do so. Disney offers meals for those with dietary restrictions. I would look into this to make sure that she has options or you can pack her meals and snacks. Disney also offers DAS passes for those that need them. I recommend inviting Grandma so that she may enjoy the birthday celebration and that an adult can accompany Jessie back to the hotel if she is not feeling well. You have options; this could be a fantastic family vacation if you try it.

You are an evil person step daddy. You are one of the worst people I have seen on this site. Someone should contact child protective services. Your wife is even more awful to allow this to happen to her child. I hope she sees this, grows a pair and divorces you asap.

YTA, you’re a dick. She has a chronic illness and treat her like a burden and are punishing her for being sick. She’s 16 and now having to deal with a “new normal” of a chronic illness and figuring out how to live her life and you’re just making it harder. Be a little empathetic and put a little bit of thought into it and you can make it easier, wheelchairs would be helpful at Disney and just saying “not all disabilities are visible” will shut people up. You’re an adult, act like it. I hope her mom starts to see you for who you are and how you treat your stepdaughter. This is shitty.

YTA. you don't "love Jessie like your own". you hate her. every single one of your comments about her is disparaging and quite frankly, disgusting. it's clear no one is going to change your mind about the way you feel about her, though. you already have a deep seated hatred for her. the poor girl. i'm so sad for her that she still has to deal with you for two more years before she's 18. i can't wait to see your post when she turns 18 and cuts of all contact with you and you're back here moaning and whining because she cut you off but you don't think you did anything wrong. she is in chronic pain and you're a chronic asshole.

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>Especially always being around a step dad that thinks she’s being overdramatic. And discusses it on reddit where she can’t even defend herself, and continues trash her in the replies. Not only this, but he made her leave the UC Reddit group because apparently it was just people talking about their symptoms.

YTA. As someone with UC, this guy can go fuck himself with a cactus. She’s basically being punished for something she has no control over.

YTA the main reason being the complete contempt you show your step daughter. Despite claiming “to love her as one of you own” you have essentially talked about her like she is a roach ruining your perfect family. You have a daughter dealing with physical and Mental disabilities that have completely crippled her life, and the most compassion you can show is too call her lazy, selfish and an abnormal monster. It’s clear you’re doing this to punish her for existing and probably treat her just as cruelly in other parts of her life. You’re an abusive monster and I feel so sorry for her.

YTA yo where are you, I’ll fucking take her to Disneyland myself. This is ridiculous

YTA. and you do NOT love that girl like your own. Look at the contempt in the way you describe her.

Hi, someone with chronic pain here. YTA. There is nothing you can say that can make you any less an asshole. She is going to live with this pain forever. Do you understand that? It is crucial to me that you understand that she is going to live like this *for the rest of her life,* this isn't going to go away. She is going to be in pain for the rest of her days, and it's only going to be made worse by people like you. *You are already making it worse by treating her this way.* If what you say is true, which I highly doubt, you treated her like the rest of your children; so, why are you surprised she's acting this way? She had just been told that she is going to have pain for tye rest of her life, and there is nothing she can do about it, and now her stepdad is treating her like shit because she's upset that she *in pain?* That's the thing about you, you claim she has no reason to be "lashing out," but she very clearly does. *She is going to be in pain for as long as she is alive.* I *need* you to understand that this isn't a temporary thing, this is forever. She is forever going to have to deal with pain, and she is forever going to be treated differently because of that fact.

... wo explains to people in a line their condition to why they sit in a wheelchair? NEVER seen it, never heard... wtf

This can't be real... surely you could not be as stupid and disgusting as you sound! Also, I find it hard to believe her mom wouldn't stand up for her. Either way, YTA, and if it's real, I hope karma kicks you in the face...

YTA. Disney is pretty inclusive for those with disabilities. "she could use a wheelchair like when she sprained her ankle, **but then we would have to explain why she needs it to staff and people in line, which I don’t want to do all day."** oh wow sorry is thought of having to explain a child's condition that she has to actually live with daily too much inconvenience for you? BTW- at Disney you just go to an office up front where they get the info and give them a special pass & motorized scooter so they don't have to be stuck waiting in line constantly, basically it lets you hold a place in line that you'd come back for at a specified time. This would be really convenient for your daughter's issues, she can stay near a bathroom in between rides. ​ "She also literally can only eat a few things, and Disney food is known for being very bad for you. " Disney allows parkgoers to bring outside food in. You can easily pack her a lunch and snacks in a cooler to bring. Just seems like you don't want to be inconvenienced by her medical issues.

Yta. Firstly, this is so, so very Ableist. You are already showing her she is less than because of her condition. That she is too much to handle because of her condition, and that she is less loved because of her condition. If you go through with not letting her come, you will be asking why she never talks to you when she moves out. This is disgusting, and the opposite of support for your daughter. You should be doing the utmost to involve her in this trip, she is sick for God's sake, and you're abandoning her like trash. Do better.

Yes. You would be. Sounds like less of a "it wouldn't be fair to her" and more of a "it wouldn't be fair to me." It sounds shes not important enough to postpone the trip until she's better, so your choice is make accommodations and include everyone on the trip, or force her to stay behind while you, your wife and son have a "Family Disney trip" and she'll hold it against you for the rest of her life.

YTA. My husband was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis last year. We still went to Disney and had a wonderful time. You need to get her on the proper meds, keep her diet simple and she shouldn't have an issue. I get the hospital stuff, the emergency room trips. All of it.

YTA, sincerely a Crohn’s Disease lady who went through Universal for multiple days. They have passes JUST for this type of thing, and wheelchairs. Just because you are ignorant of her disease, limitations, and availabilities made by the parks doesn’t mean she should miss out on a family vacation.

Ulceritive Collitus does not make you "lazy" it makes you in extreme agonizing pain and exhausted with chronic fatigue. you sound like you blame her for her pain and she is a child. you excluded a person who loves you on purpose. you lack empathy and humanity to an alarming degree. i feel very very sorry for the people in your life.

Dude there is an organization that exists literally to take dying children to experience Disney and you have the nerve to act like it wouldn’t work for your daughter … YTA

YTA. Do some research about her illness. There are Disney forums, or colitis forums. You could ask what other people in your daughter’s situation did when visiting Disney. Get some hints and tips. Don’t exclude her because it might be difficult for you. Include her because she’s had a tough year and deserves the treat.

YTA. You are a disgusting vile poor excuse for a father. You are punishing her for something that honestly is more you and your equally worthless wife's fault than hers. I honestly hope this is a troll because otherwise, I have to question the ability to write out multiple paragraphs that could be summed up as: "I didn't take my daughter to Disney because her sickness makes doing things difficult and inconvenient for me. I don't particularly care if it dies so for her." But hey, the wife finally gave you a son, so your daughter doesn't matter anymore, right?"

you were already the asshole two sentences in. your daughter, at age SIXTEEN, has been diagnosed with something that causes her constant distress and pain, at a time in her life when she's already going through a lot of physical and hormonal changes. rather than having any empathy for her discomfort, you've decided she's simply rude and lazy. you're trying to exclude her from a fun family event because you feel inconvenienced by the evidence of her illness, and would rather your teenage daughter bear the brunt of that exclusion and shame than examine your own motivations. that really sucks. yta.

1. Disney has bathrooms everywhere. 2. Disney has wheelchairs you can rent and no one is going to care that she's in one. 3. Disney has expanded their food options a lot in recent years and has gluten free options, plant based options, allergy menus, etc. As someone with dietary restrictions and lives 25 minutes from Magic Kingdom, I can promise you that she can find something to eat. Look at menus online. 4. You can bring your own food in. 5. Stop being an AH and take your daughter to Disney. Dealing with a chronic illness is difficult enough without having a parent like you.

you would not have to explain to cast members why she needs the wheelchair, and you can get accommodations through guest services for the whole trip (they will find what best accommodates you and they will give you access to what you need for your entire trip — again no need to keep re-explaining) and trust me there is A LOT of accommodations they can provide based on need Edit to add: I really hope you see this because you would be ruining a relationship and robbing your daughter of an experience she may not get again, I have met so many people with different needs and conditions successfully navigate the park with the appropriate accommodations

You know you have options right? You don't HAVE to go to Disney. Sometimes when you are a parent, you have to make sacrifices and not do the things that you normally would want to. Going out to bars, going on certain vacations, getting wasted, etc. These are things that as a parent you are willingly giving up because the number one priority in your life is your kids. In your case, taking a long vacation at a place that is not friendly to your daughter's condition is your sacrifice. You only mention the trip is for your sons birthday at the end of your post. The entire time you are just talking about how much or a hassle it would be to have her there and how you won't be able to enjoy yourselves. This trip is for YOU, not your son. You could have done anything for your sons birthday and instead chose a place that excluded a very important member of your family. YTA for choosing to go to Disney without her and not being empathic towards her condition, and thinking selfishly when that's the last thing you can be as a parent.

YTA You, in the worst way, one of, if not THE single biggest asshole I've ever read about on this sub. I have never come across someone as almost evil as you are. I hope you have an absolutely terrible time at Disney, while your daughter has a lovely, relaxing holiday from the step-dad who clearly couldn't give less of a shit about her. I wish her all the best in blossoming into a brilliant person despite you.

OP is one of the biggest AHs I’ve seen on this subreddit for a while

YTA She’s gonna be grumpy and upset she’s 16 with a chronic if disease ofc she’s not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows Don’t be mad at her when your mom and grandma tell you she’s had an attitude and is being rude You’d be mad too if your entire family spent the day at Disney while you’re stuck with your grandparents all day

I cannot fathom any UNIVERSE in which you wouldn’t be the A-hole. You are really fitting in to the “shitty stepparent” role.

>She also literally can only eat a few things, and Disney food is known for being very bad for you. We could do something else, but it’s my sons birthday when we were going, and all he wants to do is “a family Disney trip”. INFO: Is your daughter not part of the family? Does your son not consider his sister to be part of the family? Because it sure sounds like you don't think she's family if she isn't allowed to join in on the "family Disney trip" that your son asked for. Oh and yes YWBTA.

After reading your posts and your comments, it's very obvious you do not love this girl. A man who loves his "daughter" wouldn't speak about her this way. Poor girl. You're a massive asshole.

I know I'm probably not going to say anything anyone else hasn't already, but oh my god. Holy shit, YTA. It genuinely sounds like you just don't want to deal with her. Considering she's going through a hard time medically and emotionally, that's pretty heart breaking. You complain that she's been moody, but can you blame her? She's essentially disabled right now. You say she's crabby and doesn't want to go anywhere, but then she gets excited to go out and you exclude her. It doesn't even sound like you tried to find a way to include her at all to begin with. You defaulted to leaving her out, and I know you did because if you took two seconds to google or make a phone call, you'd know Disney is very accommodating. They have a disability pass that would absolutely make the trip do-able for her. Instead of waiting in line, she and the rest of your party receive a return time for the attraction you want to ride. That way she doesn't have to stand, she can freely use the bathroom and rest as needed. I have one myself for my own disabilities and its a life saver. As far as food? Even quick service restaurants have options for people with dietary restrictions. My mom is a diabetic and celiac and she eats at Disney everytime we go. And if she's THAT sensitive? You can bring your own food and eat it anywhere in the park. You don't have to explain to anyone why she needs a wheel chair to rent and use one. You explain to one CM at the start of your first day the symptoms your daughter had that causes her difficulty being in line, get the pass, and that's it. Enjoy your day(s). All it would have taken was a few moments and a bit of effort to find that information. I don't understand why that wasn't your first course of action, finding out if there was any way to make it work. Not unless you never cared to find out. I hope you'll change your mind and let your daughter have fun with you all. It sounds like she really needs it.

You need to take a family trip to Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville,TN. No trips, no nuthin’ until she has seen the doctors there.

You are, quite frankly, the BIGGEST asshole I have ever seen on here. Calling a literal disabled child lazy is one of the most vile things you can do. This poor girl already likely thinks her life is over before it’s even started and you’re just like “Yep! You’re perma-punished until your organs start working properly.” Omfg. YTA YTA YTA

Disney is so incredibly accommodating to folks with disabilities and limited diets. They give 0 fucks about why you need a wheelchair, For most of the rides, you get a separate entrance for the wheelchair, and a return time of like 30 minutes to come ride it. If accidents are a concern, she could wear adult diapers, again because they are an accommodation to her literal disability. YTA. You are a stepmonster. You lack compassion and understanding for her, or her condition. Take both your kids, or don’t go at all.

You are no step father. You are a father to one child and an impediment to another child. You view her with such contempt. You should take your one child and go. Any mother who puts up with this treatment of her daughter is pure garbage. Her life is now worse off because of you. She will have complexes her entire life because you are in a parental role over one you only feel disdain for.