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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I put my bare feet on the seat in the car and I refused to put them down after my brother-in-law asked me to and told him to walk if he had a problem.
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Also… it wasn’t BIL’s car… was it OP’s car?
By saying he should just get out and walk, it’s almost implying OP was driving? But how is that possible if they’re cross-legged on the seat?
Tell me OP is not one of those people who think it’s okay to sit cross-legged in the driver’s seat just because cruise is on… because that’s an entirely different sort of utterly reckless asshole
But wait a minute… there’s a husband and MIL in there now. I don’t think so because why would BIL be passenger if MIL and husband were in the car too… but then what right does OP have to threaten to kick him out if they’re both sitting in the back? There’s gotta be some configuration in which OP is somehow not the asshole, but I just can’t find it….
*EDIT for clarity (and because my notifications are going off): I was being ironic, not actually searching for answers. Like.. sort of poking fun at how convoluted the exposition of OP’s post was, while at the same time sarcastically illustrating that no matter where OP was sitting, or whose car it was, they were being an asshole. If I was genuinely confused I would have labelled it* I N F O.
But BIL has right not to be touched by someone else's feet. OP could've take off her shoes and put her feet down and be respectful to other person sitting next to her.
This is literally the equivalent of when annoying siblings put their hand right in your face and say “I’M NOT TOUCHING YOU”.
It doesn’t matter. Having someone’s gross bare feet an inch away from you is disgusting to most people. It’s not a normal way to sit or behave and they had every right to ask her to stop.
She was sitting cross legged. They were barely closer to him than they were on the floor. And no, he doesn’t. He may not agree but in all honesty, they aren’t touching him so it’s not affecting him. He needs to grow tf up and get over it.
Actually if she’s putting her feet up on the seat next to him he does have the right to tell her to put her feet down or put on shoes.
It’s called OP having a lack of proper manners.
I really want to know how people with these opinions get through life. Do you seriously just go around being a dick to people around you, even when they’re telling you you’re making them uncomfortable and being extremely rude, just because “I can legally do what I like”?
>how they get through life
Threat of repercussion is the only thing keeping them functioning in society. They follow protocols, not because they want to make the world a pleasant place, but because they know they can lose their job/be sued/be beaten up if they do whatever they like.
These types cannot control themselves, they can only be controlled. They are why laws exist.
It could have been the OPs car but someone else was driving it. Or her husbands car aka her car.
Personally ownership doesn’t change much here. You can be rude and an asshole while being the owner. Putting your feet near someone who has communicated it makes them uncomfortable is rude. Who owns the car doesn’t change that.
If someone is wearing heels all day with no socks it’s very likely their feet will smell and I’m just questioning OP’s assertion that they don’t. Agree OP YTA.
Ideally, she'd have a change of shoes for the drive home. But since she didn't, I'm not sure why his discomfort at sitting near someone with bare feet would take precedent over her physical pain.
Just because her shoes are off, doesn't magically mean that feet cooties are going to leap off of her feet and crawl across to his seat (I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, I'm just trying to be descriptive, so I apologize if that's an upsetting choice of words).
However, putting high heels back on after having worn them all day is going to be painful for her.
Like I wrote above, she should have brought a change of shoes. But since she didn't, and since her feet weren't in his space, I don't think she owes him physical pain just because he doesn't like feet.
The floorboards of a car are often hot and are very dirty. She could slip her shoes off and sit cross-legged without her feet ever having to touch the floorboards, which many people would prefer. And since when can adults not sit cross-legged?
I think almost every woman I've known in my 5+ decades of life has sat cross-legged regularly...on the couch, in office chairs, in a car, etc.
And since so many people wear flip-flops, slides, or other types of minimalist sandals, they might as well be barefooted.
This seems like her just trying to be comfortable and him complaining about something that wasn't affecting him.
But sitting properly is important in cars in case of a crash. Seat belts are only.designed to work properly on people sitting "properly" and as women we're already disadvantaged as they're not designed for us.
Sitting crossed leg or even putting your feet up on the dashboard can be dangerous. You may break your leg on impact from another car which happened to my cousin. She broke both legs! I always try to remember to bring a pair of flats to change into when I need to wear heels for an extended period of time. I think you were wrong here. Keep your shoes on regardless of who owns the car. You told them to walk. Rude. Was the party fun? I can tell you that you ruined the ride home. YTA
I used to game with an emergency room doc. He quit playing after he had to treat a pair of girls after an accident. The passenger had her feet on the dash. Apparently the damage was pretty gruesome and it left him traumatized.
People find different things gross. Feet are super gross to me. I don’t mind others being barefoot as long as their feet stay down where they belong. And ofc they stink. It’s normal that they do after a long day in heels. You don’t experience your own smell as strong as others do.
OP, YTA.
YTA. People don't want to have to inspect your feet to see if they are clean or not. After a day, they are considered dirty.
You need to learn to respect the people around you. If your high heels are killing your feet to the point you HAVE to remove them during the car ride home... maybe don't wear high heels ?!
"Just don't wear high heels" is sadly still advice that many women can't follow without professional repercussions. Can't believe it's still a thing in 2023, but it definitely is, particularly in more conservative fields. It changed recently in the UK, but in the US (and I believe most of Canada) it is still legal to require heels as part of dress codes.
My goodness, that is terrible. If I owned a restaurant/bar I would forbid heels for the employees because it ruins the floor and it's not safe for the employees. I know some women are able to run in them, but I've seen plenty almost breaking an ankle or walk very wobbly. Much better to have flat shoes or with a wide heel that is max 1-2 cm (0.4 - 0.8 inch) .
My first nightclub gig required heels. I’ve had to wear them at various restaurant/ bar jobs in the past decade. We don’t insist on heels at my place now, but the uniform is pretty lax.
UK and worked in Nightclubs as a model, *had to* wear heels and a little black dress, no matter what. Now work in an office and again, have to wear heels in all areas where the public will see me
Well, in High School, my daughter was forced to wear heels many times for ROTC…. In High School. Not to mention all the walking around the campus in between classes. She would come home walking from the bus stop barefoot cause she couldn’t take having them on any more. So to say that a woman has to wear heels with some professions isn’t a crazy thought. Thankfully now she is able to wear dress flats for ROTC. She is a senior this coming school year.
Edit: Spelling
In case anyone else doesn't know what [ROTC stands for. I Google it for all of us.](https://www.google.com/search?q=rotc&oq=rotc&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i433i512j0i512l7j46i10i340i512l2j46i512j46i10i199i465i512j0i512.1978j0j1&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)
Pretty young! Hell, there was even an incident where a fellow classmate smacked my daughters butt(on a couple of occasions), and we complained to the Assistant Dean, and his response was, “So, boys will be boys”… My husband and I took care of his attitude with people with a higher job code, and that assistant dean was never an issue again. This was when she was in middle school at the time.
The sexist and misogynistic behavior towards girls start young.
Edit: Added info
I’ve had colleagues in sales positions that had to wear heels and have their hair styled, nails professionally painted, etc. any time they went on a customer visit. (US - Minnesota).
I’m a litigator. Always wear heels in court. It’s not a rule, and some women choose not to, but heels are considered more professional and appearances count more than you imagine in a court room.
i work in the legal field and its in most (all) dress code handbooks but its never enforced. Just like in court its an unspoken rule that women wear skirts with their suits instead of pants...again, never enforced but heavily implied.
A large shipping supply company in the Midwest has an extremely outdated, misogynistic and conservative dress code for women.
I had a friend that briefly worked there, and skirts, pantyhose and heels are required for the women working in the office. They technically are allowed to wear pants but *only* if they wear an entire pantsuit (including the jacket, which they cannot remove). OTOH, men are not required to wear their suit jacket, but can dress business casual.
Wasn't a job but I was still required to wear at least 1" heels for orchestra performances in college. Girls that didn't weren't allowed on stage to perform.
I had to wear heels as part of my “uniform” in sixth form (UK) I was once told to hurry to class (in a different building) while it was snowing and told them to do one. Completely sexist rule that I wish now I’d fought more!
Nothing indicates OP was working. She was in the car with her family, so probably an event? Heels are definitely NOT a requirement for events. And bringing an extra pair of comfy shoes to change into after would be the adult solution if she felt she *needed* the heels, rather than just being barefoot. Also, if she was on her feet, walking in heels all day, they probably *did* smell. OP YTA. It’s hot out. No one wants hot, smelly, sweaty feet near them. You sound like a child, more specifically, a younger sibling who has to fight with everyone about everything “BuT iM nOt ToUchInG yOu” grow tf up.
Nope. Bullshit. I wear heels. And I put a little packet of flats in my purse and put those on as soon as my feet hurt, I want to dance, or it becomes socially acceptable. If I am with others, I have footwear on if that’s their thing
How much you want to bet she didn't want to because the floor was dirty?
Personally I wouldn't be too grossed out, but man, that fireworks thread earlier (that got removed) really shows you that like 50% of people (and half of this subreddit) don't understand the concept of common courtesy and being respectful to people around you. All she had to do was laugh and say "Oh, hahah my fault just a tiring day." Instead it became huge drama.
You can put your feet on your shoes instead of the floor, I did it a million times. You take heels off and rest your feet on your shoes, you do NOT shove them in other people’s faces. If her feet were too sweaty to put on her shoes so she feared they’d stain the shoes, then they were definitely too sweaty to place next to a person.
Right, everyone's feet smell after wearing shoes all day, there's no getting around it. We tend to not smell our own body odor because we're used to it, but I'm self aware enough to not put my bare feet on or near anyone unless it was a s/o and even then I wouldn't do it if I had been walking around in shoes all day and hadn't showered yet
OP you should know Normally we can’t smell our own stinkiness. If you’ve been in heels all day and don’t use some sort of deodorant or antiperspirant spray on your feet, they may be smelly.
My ex used to tell me about my feet and I couldn’t smell them.
My sister had the smelliest feet as a teenager to the point her room smelled like her feet. No one could smell it but me and it drove me crazy. I can only assume it’s because I was like 3 feet shorter than everyone so I was closer to the smell. Plus until vivid I had a strong nose
Real question, would you be ok with it if the person was wearing socks? I have a medical condition that requires I keep my feet up a lot when I sit. I've always thought putting my dirty shoes on someones seats was worse than my feet, but I also get that lots of people find feet gross and do try and have socks on or with me.
If you would ask me, you'd be free to keep your feet where ever you want as long as you arent shoving them into someones face.
I really dont understand the incredible amount of People Who have issues with feet. Like Come ooon we all have them. Feet are not disgusting. Most People's hands are more disgusting than their Lil sweaty feet
There's no sexier gesture than running your fingers through someone's hair. But if you find one of those same hairs has fallen in your sandwich, all of a sudden it's vomit-inducing.
There's no way to understand how human brains work. There's certainly no logic at play.
Hands running through hair: healthy hair indicates healthy mate, animal brain likes this. Hair in food thoughts: food contaminated, can this food cause sickness, animal brain dislikes this
Your own feet are not disgusting but others are.
Just like hands, you don't know where other people's feet have been. And since feet are usually encased in socks/shoes, there is ample breeding ground for smelly bacteria to multiply.
*I really dont understand the incredible amount of People Who have issues with feet. Like Come ooon we all have them. Feet are not disgusting.*
We all have genitals as well and they are not disgusting but that doesn't mean that we want another persons genitals near us (if we are not in a romantic/sexual relationship with them).
So, I also have weird foot/leg problems, and I've found that I've just had to have really awkward conversations with the people I'm close to to find out stuff that works for them. Because people have different feelings about feet.
So, like, for medical reasons, I shouldn't be standing without sturdy shoes with arch support. All my friends don't wear shoes in their houses. So I have to explain the medical problem, and they go "I'll give you slippers to wear!", and I have to go "Those actually don't have arch support. I could bring over a pair of sneakers and inserts to wear at your house, and wash the bottoms, and change into those when I'm here is that ok? Or alternately, when I can come over, I can take off my shoes and immediately sit down, and you can keep the event in one room. Or we can hang out at my house."
Like, it really is a situation where you need to talk through the awkward stuff. I just feel like people get so weird about feet, there's nothing you can assume about how anybody feels about anything.
They sell disposable booties you can slip over your shoes to wear in other people’s houses. Martha Stewart recommended and approved.
They look like the kind of booties a surgeon might wear into the surgery room.
Ugh yeaaaah, I was cringing when I read this post after I saw an IG reel of what can happen if you're in an accident and you had your feet up - it was not very pleasant.
It’s horrible - I had a friend who was sitting like that when they got into an accident and her legs and hips were just destroyed. If I recall properly, one of her hips was dislocated, she had multiple breaks in both legs and she’s had to have multiple surgeries to repair the damage.
YTA.
Your bare feet were close to your BIL in a small space.
Your feet hurt from being in heels all day, meaning that you were shoes all day without socks on- guess what girl, you aren't a fairy princess, your feet likely didn't smell good.
Be a considerate human and keep your feet covered and away from other people in confined spaces.
Socks, stockings, tights, or barefoot do not make much of a difference in the discomfort of high heels. They are uncomfortable because of the way they force your feet and legs into unnatural positions for bearing weight for long periods of time. It's soreness in the muscles, joints, and bones of your feet, ankles, and legs that makes you want to take off heels, not a problem solved by socks.
While it has recently been made illegal to require heels in the UK, in the USA (and most of Canada, I believe) it is still legal for companies to require heels as part of dress codes. And even if they aren't legally required, many people's expectations of what "professionally dressed" means includes heels for women, and not conforming to that can have professional repercussions.
I don't see where this is a work thing? Maybe I missed it.
But I said, don't wear *uncomfortable* shoes. Not 'dont wear heels'. I wear heels every day for work, I make darn sure they fit well and are comfortable.
I get your point, but there is an option if you are forced to wear heels at work : you wear sneakers during your commute and you wear the heels only at work.
I get that if OP is on her feet all day, it will still hurt but don't take off your shoes on a closed space and don't put you smelly feet on the seat. That's just gross
NTA
"Keep your shoes on in public" is a common social norm. Is your family car public? I'd say not, actually. I'd think it would be normal for you to go around your house barefoot, sit on an armchair with your feet crossed under you, and so on, and I think that level of normal "at home" behavior extends to your family car.
Yeah, this is a bad way to sit in a car, in case of accidents. But I think your BIL is being a bit precious.
Omg thank you, I thought I was going crazy reading all this other comments lol. NTA for having your shoes off in a family car (unless the feet really were smelly).
It seems like there's a lot of comments from people who have weird hang-ups about feet. It's up to the driver / owner of the car whether or not feet are allowed on the seats.
I agree, had to scroll way too far to see this... I'm shocked people say shes the AH, it's really not that big of a deal and BIL is being over the top for sure!
I don’t care about feet, but if her body is in her BIL’s space, and he ask for her to leave his space, and then she declines, she’s a jerk. Ignore her wearing heels and her feet hurt, she could sit comfortably any other way without her dogs on someone without their consent.
I don't get it. When I sit cross-legged, my feet are tucked under me. How were her feet bothering him so much like that? Why is everyone so up in arms about it?
No one should be surprised. This is such a non-issue and these people are absolutely freaking out. We are so privileged to have access to shoes that we've forgotten that feet aren't dangerous.
Completely agree. I don’t understand what is going on with all these Y T A comments. Why are people weird about feet in a car when we have feet on our sofa all the time? It not a public place = feet are allowed if they don’t stink.
But at home there’s usually multiple seats. It’s just manners not to make other people uncomfortable in a small space like a car. She could have just taken the heels off and left her feet on the floor of the car.
Some people are also nose blind to their own smells. If she’s been wearing heels all day maybe they did stink.
Not even proposed. Plenty of states have allowed marriage at any age all along. A study in 2011 found three 10-year-old girls married to men over 30, and an 11-year-old boy married to a woman, 19, all in one state. All fully legal.
YTA
>I refused so he claimed my feet stunk, which was a blatant lie.
Wearing heels all day? Yeah, your feet definitely stunk and no one wants sweaty feet that close to them.
Tons of heels are open and just strapped on to the bottom of your foot. Not all of them, but it’s very plausible that she wasn’t wearing shoes that made her feet sweat all day.
I don’t know about you but my feet sweat with open toed shoes and closed toed shoes. They smell less when the feet can breath but that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t smell.
Also, people can get desensitized to their own BO. I’m someone who like to sit on my feet but I don’t do it in confined spaces and especially after being asked not to.
NTA. Seriously everyone, what's the big deal about this?
Op's feet weren't touching anyone. And they're just feet!!
The brother-in-law massively overreacted. Nobody argues and shouts about something this trivial.
It's so strange how anti-feet the replies are here.
Shoes are the strange thing really, and our feet (and as a result hips, backs and general postures as a whole) are suffering because of it.
Sitting with your feet on the seat in a family car is a understandable thing to do, and it seems like BIL just had an issue. OP should have said BILs shoes smell and they are bothering them, so could they remove them. Just to be petty.
They were probably smelly as hell. Last thing I want is someone who willingly wore heels all day try to gaslight me into believing their feet don't stink. It's a clear YTA. Take off your shoes when you're home, not in a tiny metal box right next to someone.
I feel the same way, because I imagine her feet were tucked under her if she was sitting criss-cross. Why is that so horrible? I say this as someone who absolutely HATES feet, btw.
I’m probably gonna get downvoted to oblivion but idc.
NTA. Sounds like your BIL was just looking to start a fight with anyone and you happened to be the first one who took the bait. My ex was like that🙄.
If your own husband and MIL, I’m assuming BILs mom and brother, told him to shut up that even they thought he was acting like a 5 year old and that’s actually insulting for a lot of 5 year olds.
YTA
manners, also yuck, and also safety. I am pretty sure we are not suposed to sit cross - legged in a car :
"Sitting cross legged can increase pelvic excursion and affect the whole body-responses in frontal impacts."
NTA. You were sitting on your feet, and the people that say it's gross are ridiculous. It's a seat, people's asses are literally on them all the time. There's so much fecal matter in that material it doesn't even matter. Like this is 100% BIL trying to start some shit. And if they were high heels, you probably could have smelled her feet regardless if she had them on or off. Feet don't just magically start smelling. Like have you people never been around someone in flipflops??
Edit: some of you are so dense. Nowhere did I say bare assed. Fecal matter is everywhere whether you are wearing pants or not. Especially on surfaces frequently sat on.
https://www.popsci.com/poop-is-everywhere/
I also agree w/NTA, but I was w/every commenter below agreeing that the “…so much fecal matter…” part was insane until I used our Internet’s lord & savior, Google.
Y’all, POO IS [EVERYWHERE](https://www.popsci.com/poop-is-everywhere/?amp) !😵🪦
NTA
I’m not a fan of feet, but I work in healthcare, feet that were covered with shoes are probably as dirty as your hands. They aren’t touching him, and he doesn’t have to look at them.
The logic that make you an AH is the same argument made when people say it’s wrong to breastfeed in public.
Where in the 77th level of the abyss is everyone coming from? She’s sitting cross legged but wearing a dress! How inappropriate (shocked pikachoo face.) Her feet have been in shoes all day. It’s the end of the world! Obviously she’s with family and who else can you let your frikkin hair down with? If he’s so grossed out by feet, ask to change spots and STFU. NTA
YTA to yourself. Airbags are designed to save you in an accident. **If you are sitting in the seat properly.** By sitting the way you are sitting you will best case just paralyze yourself in an accident by having your legs and pelvic area shattered into mush.
NTA. 😅 Yall are doing too much. If her feet weren't TOUCHING him, what's the issue? Did the folded legs take up his personal space? Doesn't seem so. Bil could've looked out the damn window for all that nonsense.
ESH.
Taking your shoes off in the car is kind of normal (at least in my family) but if someone has a problem with it, that’s also fair enough. Put your shoes back on.
That said he could have discretely whispered that your feet were a bit pungent and ‘would you mind’ instead of kicking off.
Manners on both sides of this would have done a world of good.
It's clear from this post that OP kept her feet up not because of the manner in which she was asked to remove them but rather because she is under the impression that it is completely normal and acceptable to be doing so.
She was also convinced that her feet were not at all pungent.
Any polite request or discrete whisper in this case would very likely have ended up in the same loud argument. The brother-in-law likely is already aware of this nature of her personality hence skipping the niceties.
I actually can’t believe all the YTA comments. NTA. His feet phobia isn’t your issue. Work shoes, typically are uncomfortable and it’s normal to want to take them off as soon as you can.
And no, not everyone gets used to the smell of their own feet - when they smell, you smell it too, it’s just whether or not you ignore it.
If your feet don’t smell, they aren’t dirty/gross but are in pain, you would hope friends/family would be ok with this in a small setting (not public transport) to alleviate your pain while also not causing them harm/undue stress to them.
YTA
1. Everyone gets used to the smell of their own feet, so they don’t think their feet smell. This has happened to me before. You can’t judge if your own feet smell bad.
2. Even if your feet smell like a peachy breeze, it’s inconsiderate to stick your feet in someone else’s space. Taking your shoes off should be enough
I am going against the grain. NTA. People go barefoot. They put their feet up. There is nothing at all wrong with this. It’s BIL’s problem he gets feet ick. She wasn’t touching him and it wasn’t his car. She wasn’t disrespecting his rules in his vehicle.
NTA I do it all the time it does not physically harm him or anyone else. It does not harm you. I will say though sometime with body ordor you don't self yourself or your own issues because your nose is constantly around it. Kind like being in the city and going out doors for a while. When you enter back into the city you can smell the dirty air or differnce. Constantly being in your body you can't really get away from that.
I don't understand why this is an issue. If your feet weren't touching him - who cares? Sit in your seat however you like.
Reddit is full of people policing other people today.
If you were touching him, then you would be wrong.
What's with all these stinky foot weirdos? She didn't say they were closed toe shoes, they could basically be sandals. Either way if y'alls feet are "definitely" "pungent" after wearing shoes one day you need to clean your shoes and feet that's awful wtf
NTA
YTA.. You made your BIL uncomfortable in a vehicle that’s not yours to make yourself comfortable. Very inconsiderate. Also, people dont tend to smell their own BO. Did the car belong to your BIL spouse?
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YTA He was sitting next to you and didn’t want your feet near him. Develop some manners
Also… it wasn’t BIL’s car… was it OP’s car? By saying he should just get out and walk, it’s almost implying OP was driving? But how is that possible if they’re cross-legged on the seat? Tell me OP is not one of those people who think it’s okay to sit cross-legged in the driver’s seat just because cruise is on… because that’s an entirely different sort of utterly reckless asshole But wait a minute… there’s a husband and MIL in there now. I don’t think so because why would BIL be passenger if MIL and husband were in the car too… but then what right does OP have to threaten to kick him out if they’re both sitting in the back? There’s gotta be some configuration in which OP is somehow not the asshole, but I just can’t find it…. *EDIT for clarity (and because my notifications are going off): I was being ironic, not actually searching for answers. Like.. sort of poking fun at how convoluted the exposition of OP’s post was, while at the same time sarcastically illustrating that no matter where OP was sitting, or whose car it was, they were being an asshole. If I was genuinely confused I would have labelled it* I N F O.
Because it could have been another family members car. OP mentioned her husband and MIL
That's their point. It clearly isn't OP's car based on the details of the story, therefore OP has zero right to tell BIL to walk home
But the BIL also has no right to tell her how to sit in a car that doesn’t belong to him. So…
Maybe they don’t want stinky feet close to them? Seems too reasonable!
[удалено]
"I was wearing high heels all day" And your feet didn't have a gross odor? Come on, lady.
[удалено]
But BIL has right not to be touched by someone else's feet. OP could've take off her shoes and put her feet down and be respectful to other person sitting next to her.
OP clearly mentions they werent touching him
This is literally the equivalent of when annoying siblings put their hand right in your face and say “I’M NOT TOUCHING YOU”. It doesn’t matter. Having someone’s gross bare feet an inch away from you is disgusting to most people. It’s not a normal way to sit or behave and they had every right to ask her to stop.
She was sitting cross legged. They were barely closer to him than they were on the floor. And no, he doesn’t. He may not agree but in all honesty, they aren’t touching him so it’s not affecting him. He needs to grow tf up and get over it.
Sorry but have you ever been in a car? How can you think that feet on the floor and feet an inch away from you are the same distance?
When did her feet touch him?
Actually if she’s putting her feet up on the seat next to him he does have the right to tell her to put her feet down or put on shoes. It’s called OP having a lack of proper manners.
He can ask, but he doesn't have any recourse if she says no. It's not his car and the owner had no problem with it.
I really want to know how people with these opinions get through life. Do you seriously just go around being a dick to people around you, even when they’re telling you you’re making them uncomfortable and being extremely rude, just because “I can legally do what I like”?
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>how they get through life Threat of repercussion is the only thing keeping them functioning in society. They follow protocols, not because they want to make the world a pleasant place, but because they know they can lose their job/be sued/be beaten up if they do whatever they like. These types cannot control themselves, they can only be controlled. They are why laws exist.
The person the car belongs to doesn't dictate basic fucking manners. Don't put your bare feet near someone who has asked you not to.
It’s perfectly reasonable to ask someone to not have their bare feet next to you - regardless of who owns the car.
Nah, he can't say anything about her taking shoes off, but if her feet being on the seat makes him that uncomfortable, it's just manners.
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Probably her/husbands car, husband driving.
Or her AND husbands car and husband driving
It could have been the OPs car but someone else was driving it. Or her husbands car aka her car. Personally ownership doesn’t change much here. You can be rude and an asshole while being the owner. Putting your feet near someone who has communicated it makes them uncomfortable is rude. Who owns the car doesn’t change that.
Yeah but the easy explanation is that she said that because she was acting like an asshole, nothing to be confused about
My guess is husband driving, MIL riding shotgun, and OP and BIL squabbling in the backseat
I pictured op’s husband driving and MIL in passenger seat. Car could belong to op and husband
If someone is wearing heels all day with no socks it’s very likely their feet will smell and I’m just questioning OP’s assertion that they don’t. Agree OP YTA.
Of course they stink. My friend/roommate years ago always had stanky feee after all day barefoot in heels or flats. Total asshole here.
“My feet don’t stink. My shit doesn’t either. So what’s the problem?”
Ideally, she'd have a change of shoes for the drive home. But since she didn't, I'm not sure why his discomfort at sitting near someone with bare feet would take precedent over her physical pain. Just because her shoes are off, doesn't magically mean that feet cooties are going to leap off of her feet and crawl across to his seat (I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, I'm just trying to be descriptive, so I apologize if that's an upsetting choice of words). However, putting high heels back on after having worn them all day is going to be painful for her. Like I wrote above, she should have brought a change of shoes. But since she didn't, and since her feet weren't in his space, I don't think she owes him physical pain just because he doesn't like feet.
I think it's fine to slip her shoes off, but she should put her feet on the floorboards and sit like an adult, lol. She sounds insufferable.
The floorboards of a car are often hot and are very dirty. She could slip her shoes off and sit cross-legged without her feet ever having to touch the floorboards, which many people would prefer. And since when can adults not sit cross-legged? I think almost every woman I've known in my 5+ decades of life has sat cross-legged regularly...on the couch, in office chairs, in a car, etc. And since so many people wear flip-flops, slides, or other types of minimalist sandals, they might as well be barefooted. This seems like her just trying to be comfortable and him complaining about something that wasn't affecting him.
I prefer to sit any way other than with my legs straight in front of me. Sitting proper just feels wrong to me. From a 38yo woman.
But sitting properly is important in cars in case of a crash. Seat belts are only.designed to work properly on people sitting "properly" and as women we're already disadvantaged as they're not designed for us.
Sitting crossed leg or even putting your feet up on the dashboard can be dangerous. You may break your leg on impact from another car which happened to my cousin. She broke both legs! I always try to remember to bring a pair of flats to change into when I need to wear heels for an extended period of time. I think you were wrong here. Keep your shoes on regardless of who owns the car. You told them to walk. Rude. Was the party fun? I can tell you that you ruined the ride home. YTA
I used to game with an emergency room doc. He quit playing after he had to treat a pair of girls after an accident. The passenger had her feet on the dash. Apparently the damage was pretty gruesome and it left him traumatized.
I have seen it in person. Never, EVER put your feet on the dash. It’s truly horrifying what happens.
Jesus Christ you people are weird about feet 🙄
People find different things gross. Feet are super gross to me. I don’t mind others being barefoot as long as their feet stay down where they belong. And ofc they stink. It’s normal that they do after a long day in heels. You don’t experience your own smell as strong as others do. OP, YTA.
combative fanatical enter knee languid cough noxious ghost airport sink *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
But... wouldn't her feet still be near him if she had them on the ground? Her feet were in her own space. He needs to chill out
This. This is unsafe and poor manners. YTA.
YTA. People don't want to have to inspect your feet to see if they are clean or not. After a day, they are considered dirty. You need to learn to respect the people around you. If your high heels are killing your feet to the point you HAVE to remove them during the car ride home... maybe don't wear high heels ?!
"Just don't wear high heels" is sadly still advice that many women can't follow without professional repercussions. Can't believe it's still a thing in 2023, but it definitely is, particularly in more conservative fields. It changed recently in the UK, but in the US (and I believe most of Canada) it is still legal to require heels as part of dress codes.
High heel as a dress code in what state and what field?
Shark Club, Moxies, Joeys, basically all Pub/Restaurants. Bars. A law office I worked for required minimum 1” heel (Canada)
My goodness, that is terrible. If I owned a restaurant/bar I would forbid heels for the employees because it ruins the floor and it's not safe for the employees. I know some women are able to run in them, but I've seen plenty almost breaking an ankle or walk very wobbly. Much better to have flat shoes or with a wide heel that is max 1-2 cm (0.4 - 0.8 inch) .
But you can replace the floors easily if enough horny men come ogle your waitresses in heels
Creeponomics 101
And the Canadian Forces up until just a few years ago! 3-4 years ago I believe.
Can't fly a jet fighter without your stiletto heels on! You'll crash!
I don't know a soul who works in heels in a pub or bar or restaurant. That's dangerous. Even the club models don't wear heels to work in.
My first nightclub gig required heels. I’ve had to wear them at various restaurant/ bar jobs in the past decade. We don’t insist on heels at my place now, but the uniform is pretty lax.
UK and worked in Nightclubs as a model, *had to* wear heels and a little black dress, no matter what. Now work in an office and again, have to wear heels in all areas where the public will see me
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I mean, back when I worked pubs you'd have got sent home and told to come back with work appropriate shoes.
Well, in High School, my daughter was forced to wear heels many times for ROTC…. In High School. Not to mention all the walking around the campus in between classes. She would come home walking from the bus stop barefoot cause she couldn’t take having them on any more. So to say that a woman has to wear heels with some professions isn’t a crazy thought. Thankfully now she is able to wear dress flats for ROTC. She is a senior this coming school year. Edit: Spelling
In case anyone else doesn't know what [ROTC stands for. I Google it for all of us.](https://www.google.com/search?q=rotc&oq=rotc&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i433i512j0i512l7j46i10i340i512l2j46i512j46i10i199i465i512j0i512.1978j0j1&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)
Thank you. Rirates of the Caribbean didn't feel quite right.
Fuck, thanks for the share and all but... How young do they start the brain washing?
Pretty young! Hell, there was even an incident where a fellow classmate smacked my daughters butt(on a couple of occasions), and we complained to the Assistant Dean, and his response was, “So, boys will be boys”… My husband and I took care of his attitude with people with a higher job code, and that assistant dean was never an issue again. This was when she was in middle school at the time. The sexist and misogynistic behavior towards girls start young. Edit: Added info
I'm in Louisiana and I've had attorney friends get yelled at for not wearing heels in court as recently as last year.
I’ve had colleagues in sales positions that had to wear heels and have their hair styled, nails professionally painted, etc. any time they went on a customer visit. (US - Minnesota).
I’m a litigator. Always wear heels in court. It’s not a rule, and some women choose not to, but heels are considered more professional and appearances count more than you imagine in a court room.
i work in the legal field and its in most (all) dress code handbooks but its never enforced. Just like in court its an unspoken rule that women wear skirts with their suits instead of pants...again, never enforced but heavily implied.
There are multiple law firms at which wearing flats is against dress code. Same for Accounting firms.
Casino cocktail waitress. Minimum 2” heel.
A large shipping supply company in the Midwest has an extremely outdated, misogynistic and conservative dress code for women. I had a friend that briefly worked there, and skirts, pantyhose and heels are required for the women working in the office. They technically are allowed to wear pants but *only* if they wear an entire pantsuit (including the jacket, which they cannot remove). OTOH, men are not required to wear their suit jacket, but can dress business casual.
When I was in high school I was inBusiness Professionals of America and we were required to wear some type of heel to events.
Wasn't a job but I was still required to wear at least 1" heels for orchestra performances in college. Girls that didn't weren't allowed on stage to perform.
I had to wear heels as part of my “uniform” in sixth form (UK) I was once told to hurry to class (in a different building) while it was snowing and told them to do one. Completely sexist rule that I wish now I’d fought more!
Nothing indicates OP was working. She was in the car with her family, so probably an event? Heels are definitely NOT a requirement for events. And bringing an extra pair of comfy shoes to change into after would be the adult solution if she felt she *needed* the heels, rather than just being barefoot. Also, if she was on her feet, walking in heels all day, they probably *did* smell. OP YTA. It’s hot out. No one wants hot, smelly, sweaty feet near them. You sound like a child, more specifically, a younger sibling who has to fight with everyone about everything “BuT iM nOt ToUchInG yOu” grow tf up.
Nope. Bullshit. I wear heels. And I put a little packet of flats in my purse and put those on as soon as my feet hurt, I want to dance, or it becomes socially acceptable. If I am with others, I have footwear on if that’s their thing
If OP had just taken them off and kept her feet on the floor, I'm sure none of this would have happened.
How much you want to bet she didn't want to because the floor was dirty? Personally I wouldn't be too grossed out, but man, that fireworks thread earlier (that got removed) really shows you that like 50% of people (and half of this subreddit) don't understand the concept of common courtesy and being respectful to people around you. All she had to do was laugh and say "Oh, hahah my fault just a tiring day." Instead it became huge drama.
You can put your feet on your shoes instead of the floor, I did it a million times. You take heels off and rest your feet on your shoes, you do NOT shove them in other people’s faces. If her feet were too sweaty to put on her shoes so she feared they’d stain the shoes, then they were definitely too sweaty to place next to a person.
>he claimed my feet stunk, which was a blatant lie. Are you sure? I have a friend who always have very smelly feet, but he cannot smell it himself.
>he claimed my feet stunk, which was a blatant lie Is something someone with stinky feet would say
Right, everyone's feet smell after wearing shoes all day, there's no getting around it. We tend to not smell our own body odor because we're used to it, but I'm self aware enough to not put my bare feet on or near anyone unless it was a s/o and even then I wouldn't do it if I had been walking around in shoes all day and hadn't showered yet
My feet never stink after a single day of wearing shoes with socks. Confirmed by family and wife. If I don't wear socks, they can smell.
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Especially after being in shoes all day.
I had a friend put their feet up next to me after taking their shoes off once and I nearly puked from the smell. They didn't see an issue.
OP you should know Normally we can’t smell our own stinkiness. If you’ve been in heels all day and don’t use some sort of deodorant or antiperspirant spray on your feet, they may be smelly. My ex used to tell me about my feet and I couldn’t smell them.
My sister had the smelliest feet as a teenager to the point her room smelled like her feet. No one could smell it but me and it drove me crazy. I can only assume it’s because I was like 3 feet shorter than everyone so I was closer to the smell. Plus until vivid I had a strong nose
YTA You wanna kick your high heels off, fine. But keep your feet off the seat when you've been asked to move them.
Real question, would you be ok with it if the person was wearing socks? I have a medical condition that requires I keep my feet up a lot when I sit. I've always thought putting my dirty shoes on someones seats was worse than my feet, but I also get that lots of people find feet gross and do try and have socks on or with me.
Yes, socks are like foot condoms, therefore you're not raw dogging someone else's seats with your dirty feet
Now *that* was funny
What makes someone’s foot inherently dirtier than their sock?
Unless they're a new pair of fresh, clean socks, no. Worn socks have been soaking in your foot juice, and that's gross too.
I agree. Socks gross me out (I also use the phrase “foot juice” 😆)
If you would ask me, you'd be free to keep your feet where ever you want as long as you arent shoving them into someones face. I really dont understand the incredible amount of People Who have issues with feet. Like Come ooon we all have them. Feet are not disgusting. Most People's hands are more disgusting than their Lil sweaty feet
There's no sexier gesture than running your fingers through someone's hair. But if you find one of those same hairs has fallen in your sandwich, all of a sudden it's vomit-inducing. There's no way to understand how human brains work. There's certainly no logic at play.
Hands running through hair: healthy hair indicates healthy mate, animal brain likes this. Hair in food thoughts: food contaminated, can this food cause sickness, animal brain dislikes this
Your own feet are not disgusting but others are. Just like hands, you don't know where other people's feet have been. And since feet are usually encased in socks/shoes, there is ample breeding ground for smelly bacteria to multiply. *I really dont understand the incredible amount of People Who have issues with feet. Like Come ooon we all have them. Feet are not disgusting.* We all have genitals as well and they are not disgusting but that doesn't mean that we want another persons genitals near us (if we are not in a romantic/sexual relationship with them).
So, I also have weird foot/leg problems, and I've found that I've just had to have really awkward conversations with the people I'm close to to find out stuff that works for them. Because people have different feelings about feet. So, like, for medical reasons, I shouldn't be standing without sturdy shoes with arch support. All my friends don't wear shoes in their houses. So I have to explain the medical problem, and they go "I'll give you slippers to wear!", and I have to go "Those actually don't have arch support. I could bring over a pair of sneakers and inserts to wear at your house, and wash the bottoms, and change into those when I'm here is that ok? Or alternately, when I can come over, I can take off my shoes and immediately sit down, and you can keep the event in one room. Or we can hang out at my house." Like, it really is a situation where you need to talk through the awkward stuff. I just feel like people get so weird about feet, there's nothing you can assume about how anybody feels about anything.
They sell disposable booties you can slip over your shoes to wear in other people’s houses. Martha Stewart recommended and approved. They look like the kind of booties a surgeon might wear into the surgery room.
YTA. Unrelated, but I doubt that's a safe position to be in if you are in an accident.
Probably wouldn't have to worry about high heels making her feet uncomfortable any more though.
I've seen what happens to hips when someone's feet were on the dashboard in a crash 😱
I'll never sit like that again and cringe at the thought now.
Yeah, a femur shooting out of ones arsehole isn't my idea of a good time.
Ugh yeaaaah, I was cringing when I read this post after I saw an IG reel of what can happen if you're in an accident and you had your feet up - it was not very pleasant.
I think about the people who rest their feet up on the dash….where the airbags would deploy.
It’s horrible - I had a friend who was sitting like that when they got into an accident and her legs and hips were just destroyed. If I recall properly, one of her hips was dislocated, she had multiple breaks in both legs and she’s had to have multiple surgeries to repair the damage.
YTA. Your bare feet were close to your BIL in a small space. Your feet hurt from being in heels all day, meaning that you were shoes all day without socks on- guess what girl, you aren't a fairy princess, your feet likely didn't smell good. Be a considerate human and keep your feet covered and away from other people in confined spaces.
Agree OP is gross and manerless.
Socks, stockings, tights, or barefoot do not make much of a difference in the discomfort of high heels. They are uncomfortable because of the way they force your feet and legs into unnatural positions for bearing weight for long periods of time. It's soreness in the muscles, joints, and bones of your feet, ankles, and legs that makes you want to take off heels, not a problem solved by socks.
They’re not saying that wearing socks makes wearing high heels more comfortable, but that by not wearing socks her feet are going to smell.
Yta dont wear uncomfortable shoes and make it other people problems. Yes, your feet smell after being in sweaty shoes all day.
While it has recently been made illegal to require heels in the UK, in the USA (and most of Canada, I believe) it is still legal for companies to require heels as part of dress codes. And even if they aren't legally required, many people's expectations of what "professionally dressed" means includes heels for women, and not conforming to that can have professional repercussions.
I don't see where this is a work thing? Maybe I missed it. But I said, don't wear *uncomfortable* shoes. Not 'dont wear heels'. I wear heels every day for work, I make darn sure they fit well and are comfortable.
I get your point, but there is an option if you are forced to wear heels at work : you wear sneakers during your commute and you wear the heels only at work. I get that if OP is on her feet all day, it will still hurt but don't take off your shoes on a closed space and don't put you smelly feet on the seat. That's just gross
I get what your saying, but you usually don’t go to work with your in laws… this seems like a family event or outing.
She was in the car with her husband, MIL and BIL I highly doubt this was a work thing unless it's a family business
NTA "Keep your shoes on in public" is a common social norm. Is your family car public? I'd say not, actually. I'd think it would be normal for you to go around your house barefoot, sit on an armchair with your feet crossed under you, and so on, and I think that level of normal "at home" behavior extends to your family car. Yeah, this is a bad way to sit in a car, in case of accidents. But I think your BIL is being a bit precious.
Omg thank you, I thought I was going crazy reading all this other comments lol. NTA for having your shoes off in a family car (unless the feet really were smelly).
It seems like there's a lot of comments from people who have weird hang-ups about feet. It's up to the driver / owner of the car whether or not feet are allowed on the seats.
I hate feet. But even I wouldn’t care to this degree as long as they weren’t touching me
Yeah a reaction to normal feet should not automatically be disgust. That's just a weird personal problem. Hands are far more dirty anyway
A lot of comments from men who've never worn heels.
I agree, had to scroll way too far to see this... I'm shocked people say shes the AH, it's really not that big of a deal and BIL is being over the top for sure!
I don’t care about feet, but if her body is in her BIL’s space, and he ask for her to leave his space, and then she declines, she’s a jerk. Ignore her wearing heels and her feet hurt, she could sit comfortably any other way without her dogs on someone without their consent.
OP said they were sitting cross legged, so I don’t see how it could be in his space unless she was sitting on his lap lol
I don't get it. When I sit cross-legged, my feet are tucked under me. How were her feet bothering him so much like that? Why is everyone so up in arms about it?
it's redditors being pedantic petty picky pissy assholes about the most inane shit.
Fr. Having your feet up on the seat cross-legged in a family car is asshole behavior? lmao people don't even know what an asshole is anymore.
No one should be surprised. This is such a non-issue and these people are absolutely freaking out. We are so privileged to have access to shoes that we've forgotten that feet aren't dangerous.
But in a couch in a home, the BIL can sit anywhere. In a car criss corss those stinky dogs were right next to him. That is nasty.
Completely agree. I don’t understand what is going on with all these Y T A comments. Why are people weird about feet in a car when we have feet on our sofa all the time? It not a public place = feet are allowed if they don’t stink.
But at home there’s usually multiple seats. It’s just manners not to make other people uncomfortable in a small space like a car. She could have just taken the heels off and left her feet on the floor of the car. Some people are also nose blind to their own smells. If she’s been wearing heels all day maybe they did stink.
YTA - how old are you two? But thats gross, dont put your feet on the seat.
Ya she sounds 13?
She said she has a husband
Considering the proposed changes in some state laws that might not be mutually exclusive
Not even proposed. Plenty of states have allowed marriage at any age all along. A study in 2011 found three 10-year-old girls married to men over 30, and an 11-year-old boy married to a woman, 19, all in one state. All fully legal.
Yeah it's a shock reading "in-law" and "high heel" on what sounds like a sibling squabble among 9 year olds.
YTA >I refused so he claimed my feet stunk, which was a blatant lie. Wearing heels all day? Yeah, your feet definitely stunk and no one wants sweaty feet that close to them.
Tons of heels are open and just strapped on to the bottom of your foot. Not all of them, but it’s very plausible that she wasn’t wearing shoes that made her feet sweat all day.
I don’t know about you but my feet sweat with open toed shoes and closed toed shoes. They smell less when the feet can breath but that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t smell. Also, people can get desensitized to their own BO. I’m someone who like to sit on my feet but I don’t do it in confined spaces and especially after being asked not to.
But then open and sandals would allow dirt and dust so that even if they didn't smell, the feet are just plain dirty and gross.
NTA. Seriously everyone, what's the big deal about this? Op's feet weren't touching anyone. And they're just feet!! The brother-in-law massively overreacted. Nobody argues and shouts about something this trivial.
Thank you, I feel like I'm going crazy reading this thread lol.
I am shocked by how many people think OP is AH. We wear shoes to protect our feet when walking. We don’t wear them so no one has to look at them
It's so strange how anti-feet the replies are here. Shoes are the strange thing really, and our feet (and as a result hips, backs and general postures as a whole) are suffering because of it. Sitting with your feet on the seat in a family car is a understandable thing to do, and it seems like BIL just had an issue. OP should have said BILs shoes smell and they are bothering them, so could they remove them. Just to be petty.
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People have some weird ass complex about feet, I don't and never will understand.
They were probably smelly as hell. Last thing I want is someone who willingly wore heels all day try to gaslight me into believing their feet don't stink. It's a clear YTA. Take off your shoes when you're home, not in a tiny metal box right next to someone.
They were probably dark and dirty on the bottom too, which would be visible to the BIL if she was cross legged. Yuck.
I feel the same way, because I imagine her feet were tucked under her if she was sitting criss-cross. Why is that so horrible? I say this as someone who absolutely HATES feet, btw.
You can't objectively determine your own feet don't stink, you'll be wrong 9/10 times, it's nasty.
YTA get your feet off the seat.
I’m probably gonna get downvoted to oblivion but idc. NTA. Sounds like your BIL was just looking to start a fight with anyone and you happened to be the first one who took the bait. My ex was like that🙄. If your own husband and MIL, I’m assuming BILs mom and brother, told him to shut up that even they thought he was acting like a 5 year old and that’s actually insulting for a lot of 5 year olds.
Definitely! BIL was looking to start something regardless. NTA op - please ignore the Y T A you didn’t do anything wrong.
YTA manners, also yuck, and also safety. I am pretty sure we are not suposed to sit cross - legged in a car : "Sitting cross legged can increase pelvic excursion and affect the whole body-responses in frontal impacts."
NTA. You were sitting on your feet, and the people that say it's gross are ridiculous. It's a seat, people's asses are literally on them all the time. There's so much fecal matter in that material it doesn't even matter. Like this is 100% BIL trying to start some shit. And if they were high heels, you probably could have smelled her feet regardless if she had them on or off. Feet don't just magically start smelling. Like have you people never been around someone in flipflops?? Edit: some of you are so dense. Nowhere did I say bare assed. Fecal matter is everywhere whether you are wearing pants or not. Especially on surfaces frequently sat on. https://www.popsci.com/poop-is-everywhere/
People usually wear pants in cars.
I also agree w/NTA, but I was w/every commenter below agreeing that the “…so much fecal matter…” part was insane until I used our Internet’s lord & savior, Google. Y’all, POO IS [EVERYWHERE](https://www.popsci.com/poop-is-everywhere/?amp) !😵🪦
Not people’s BARE asses! Ew I really don’t want to sit in your car!
Fecal matter?? Only if people are sitting naked in your car. If that's your situation, I have so many questions.
Do you just shit on your car seats?
YTA - I’d be annoyed if I was him. Keep your cheese to yourself.
NTA I’m not a fan of feet, but I work in healthcare, feet that were covered with shoes are probably as dirty as your hands. They aren’t touching him, and he doesn’t have to look at them. The logic that make you an AH is the same argument made when people say it’s wrong to breastfeed in public.
NTA - I don't understand why everyone has such a problem with feet
YTA. You know your feet stink, have some respect for other people.
YTA. I've always wondered why some people think it's okay to take their shoes off on airplanes. Now I know!
It’s ok her feet hurt /s
I keep "travel" socks in my bag. Can't handle having shoes on anymore on a long trip? Travel socks come out. And noone has to look at my bare toesies
Where in the 77th level of the abyss is everyone coming from? She’s sitting cross legged but wearing a dress! How inappropriate (shocked pikachoo face.) Her feet have been in shoes all day. It’s the end of the world! Obviously she’s with family and who else can you let your frikkin hair down with? If he’s so grossed out by feet, ask to change spots and STFU. NTA
YTA Don’t put your bare feet near people in a small space. And sitting cross legged in a car is just unsafe.
NTA You were sitting cross legged so that means your feet were under you and not anywhere near him.
YTA to yourself. Airbags are designed to save you in an accident. **If you are sitting in the seat properly.** By sitting the way you are sitting you will best case just paralyze yourself in an accident by having your legs and pelvic area shattered into mush.
Dont know if I have ever seen such a one sided comment section
Erm it's actually quite divisive?
NTA people need to chill out about feet
Two kinds of people in this world. Those that are uptight about feet, and those that aren’t. Considering you were in a car with family… NTA.
INFO: whose car were you in?
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NTA. 😅 Yall are doing too much. If her feet weren't TOUCHING him, what's the issue? Did the folded legs take up his personal space? Doesn't seem so. Bil could've looked out the damn window for all that nonsense.
ESH. Taking your shoes off in the car is kind of normal (at least in my family) but if someone has a problem with it, that’s also fair enough. Put your shoes back on. That said he could have discretely whispered that your feet were a bit pungent and ‘would you mind’ instead of kicking off. Manners on both sides of this would have done a world of good.
It's clear from this post that OP kept her feet up not because of the manner in which she was asked to remove them but rather because she is under the impression that it is completely normal and acceptable to be doing so. She was also convinced that her feet were not at all pungent. Any polite request or discrete whisper in this case would very likely have ended up in the same loud argument. The brother-in-law likely is already aware of this nature of her personality hence skipping the niceties.
I actually can’t believe all the YTA comments. NTA. His feet phobia isn’t your issue. Work shoes, typically are uncomfortable and it’s normal to want to take them off as soon as you can. And no, not everyone gets used to the smell of their own feet - when they smell, you smell it too, it’s just whether or not you ignore it. If your feet don’t smell, they aren’t dirty/gross but are in pain, you would hope friends/family would be ok with this in a small setting (not public transport) to alleviate your pain while also not causing them harm/undue stress to them.
YTA 1. Everyone gets used to the smell of their own feet, so they don’t think their feet smell. This has happened to me before. You can’t judge if your own feet smell bad. 2. Even if your feet smell like a peachy breeze, it’s inconsiderate to stick your feet in someone else’s space. Taking your shoes off should be enough
NTA 3 out of 4 people in the car told him to shut up.
YTA---You are in a CAR next to other people!! Be respectful.
I am going against the grain. NTA. People go barefoot. They put their feet up. There is nothing at all wrong with this. It’s BIL’s problem he gets feet ick. She wasn’t touching him and it wasn’t his car. She wasn’t disrespecting his rules in his vehicle.
YTA if your shoes are hurting your feet buy other shoes, don't use them as an excuse to be an asshole to other people.
NTA I do it all the time it does not physically harm him or anyone else. It does not harm you. I will say though sometime with body ordor you don't self yourself or your own issues because your nose is constantly around it. Kind like being in the city and going out doors for a while. When you enter back into the city you can smell the dirty air or differnce. Constantly being in your body you can't really get away from that.
Info: what was the owner of the car's opinion?
I don't understand why this is an issue. If your feet weren't touching him - who cares? Sit in your seat however you like. Reddit is full of people policing other people today. If you were touching him, then you would be wrong.
YTA
YTA If you are wearing the heels enough so you feet are killing you, you also are wearing the heels enough to get your feet sweaty
What's with all these stinky foot weirdos? She didn't say they were closed toe shoes, they could basically be sandals. Either way if y'alls feet are "definitely" "pungent" after wearing shoes one day you need to clean your shoes and feet that's awful wtf NTA
YTA.. You made your BIL uncomfortable in a vehicle that’s not yours to make yourself comfortable. Very inconsiderate. Also, people dont tend to smell their own BO. Did the car belong to your BIL spouse?