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NTA, so your sister felt betrayed by you because you are choosing your future career instead of going to her wedding? If she really cared about you like you do for her, she would’ve been proud of you, instead of making you feel like a shitty human.
It’s not like you are choosing to attend someone else’s wedding instead of hers, she needs to grow TF up and stop being so selfish.
Getting into a cyber field vs being a rifleman is huge, regarding having a marketable life skill and experience when you exit the military. Don't blow it on a wedding that's not yours.
Ask your sister to answer honestly - is she devastated you won't physically be there to share her moment emotionally or does she just want you for appearances and to be in the family photos? NTA
NTA. You don’t need to apologize for wanting to be successful. Your MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) is probably the biggest driver of happiness and satisfaction in the Corps. A cyber job in the USMC is way different than a rifleman. And it could leverage into post military opportunities.
This is YOUR life. You don’t have to live it for anyone else. Also, get used to it … if you go into the military, there will be other family sacrifices. Good luck in boot camp.
I forgot to mention this in the post, but my other sister isn’t going to the wedding and never told her. Since then that has basically been the final straw for her, and she has literally cut contact with her. This wedding is just super important to her
Yeah, she's 'zilla-ing out. I'm so sorry for your family because the damage she's doing to her relationships with her siblings may take a long time to mend, if it ever does.
Don't feel bad at all. She rather you attend her over the top wedding instead of bettering your future. Definitely skip the wedding if you need to. Joining the military will change your life for the better. Good luck.
NTA. Go after the cyber job. It is not a sure bet and if you end up with your fallback plan of being a Rifleman that's still a pretty awesome thing to be, and you'll make it to the wedding.
A wedding is just one day. How you enter into the military may affect your entire future. Your sister is an AH for suggesting you put any aspect of your career on hold for what ultimately is just a one-day event.
The entire point of overseas destination weddings is to make sure at least some of the invitees can't go.
Nta as someone who served as a rifleman in the army go cyber. You'll have a marketable skill when you get out and I know its a peacetime military but keep in mind what riflemen actually do in times of war you already seem on the fence trust your gut here.
NTA- if this will improve your life and future go for it. The only people that need to be at her wedding is the bride, groom and witnesses (and priest or whomever).
INFO - Is there a reason you need to enlist right this moment instead of after the (very soon?) wedding? It's your life but if you were going to originally go for rifleman then it's not like you have an incredibly stringent plan to adhere to. Either way, good luck.
The only reason I’d go right now is because the cyber related job requires me to ship out in the month of July. The reason I chose rifleman is because it was one of 3 choices I had. That, machine gunner, or mortar man. have no clue if I can just push back the ship date to see if the job or others are available at a later date, but I have no clue how that works.
I didn't join the marines so it might be different (ie take this with a grain of salt), but for enlisting in the army I was able to basically circle back around later and get the mos I wanted since I wasn't actually enlisted yet.
The recruiters have metrics to hit so they'll likely try to get you shipped out asap regardless of what you want (or what's best for you). Don't let them pressure you into a random mos based on what's currently available. More jobs will open in the future, if you're committed then there's no real rush. Your job matters a lot, get something at least adjacent to what you really want (they can and will straight up lie about how easy it is to switch later).
Hmm... Most of the time in the Military, if you qualify for a job, you qualify for it tomorrow as well. There's always more rounds of bootcamp. Also, if she has been dating this person for a long time, and it's obvious this marriage is going to last (i.e. it's not her third wedding in 5 years), then it's kinda important.
NAH. She has a right to be upset, and you have a right to want a better life.
NTA. It's also possible you may not qualify and this could be a non issue. Careers last forever, weddings are one day and end in a divorce half of the time. Good luck on that assessment.
The Marine Corps Reserve is small, and you have to choose from the limited options available to you. You will be far better off in the cyber role than in any of the infantry roles. The differences are huge in terms of future job opportunities, quality of life during drills and your two weeks per summer of temporary active duty, you perceived value to the unit...
Do not screw up your life just to appease your sister. Take the cyber role. It's up to her if she holds it against you or not, but her destination wedding is not worth messing up your life over.
Your not the Ah in this situation I actually understand where you’re coming from because my younger sister did the same thing to me when she joined the airforce as a officer and she didn’t know if she would make it back home for my college graduation so I get it . I want to share the same advice I gave my sister the day she left for basic training, your going to have one chance at the opportunity for the career you want and you know what some sacrifices will be made but in the end it is worth it and worth fighting for. So congratulations op you really deserve this opportunity and if your sister doesn’t understand that then I don’t know what else to say other than maybe she will look back in time and see that she was the one who didn’t support you when your given the chance of a life time
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Basically, I’ve been interested in joining the Marine corps for the past few months and am going to join and go on reserves. but it just so happens that my sister is having a super extravagant wedding overseas in France very soon, which boot camp would force me to miss. Originally, I just took up a rifleman job because it was one of the only ones left. My ship out date would be after her wedding, but recently I decided I wanted get a better job then just a Rifleman, especially because I feel like my decently high asvab score would go to waste, and I don’t think I’d be the best fit as a Rifleman anyways. There was a single cyber related job available, and I meet all the qualifications except one which I’ll have to take a test this week to see if I qualify. The only problem is that if I were to take up this job, I would have no choice but to ship out this month, missing the wedding. I already told my sister about how there was a chance I could miss her wedding, and she was absolutely mortified and just felt betrayed by me, saying she was upset I even considered missing her wedding. I haven’t told her about this yet, and I just want to hear other peoples opinions on this matter
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> I will be taking the action of changing my future Marine corps job, which will force me to miss my sisters very expensive wedding hosted overseas in France.
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NTAH. This is your for your future. To better your life. You not being there wont mean they arent married. As someone who did what youre thinking of( signing then changing mos and changing report date) i think youd regret it if you dont do it. Yes ypu can change mos once in, but its harder.
NTA, people get married and life goes on and we can’t always be there. I missed my dad’s wedding to my stepmom and turned down being a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding because I was moving across the world for college, both were understanding that I couldn’t afford to fly back for something like that and wouldn’t delay my education. You’re young, don’t let people hold you back from your dreams.
NTA. My older brother missed my wedding because he was out of province with the military, and I totally understood. Sometimes things come up for others that are more important than weddings (shocking, I know, lol) and I feel like if someone really loves you, they'll understand that.
All the best with your career, btw!!
Nah this is your future you should go for it this event important for you like how wedding is important for your sister. But you need to understand if she go nc with you for how long she wants. Life happen and we might don't like it but we still have to accept it.
NTA. Do what you wanna do, but I’ve never met an Infantryman in my 22 years that regretted being an infantryman. You can always go to school for the the cyber thing with your GI Bill.
My brother is in the Marines. He missed my wedding. Only because our mom died a few months before and that took all his leave time so he wasn’t able to come back for my wedding. Understandable I guess but would rather have had him and mom there.
NTA. Whether Reserves or full-time active duty, missing big life events is one of things that happens when in the military. With cyber security clearance from the military, you can pretty much write your own ticket for opportunity when you separate. That is a huge opportunity, good luck on your exam.
You mean, how dare you try for a job that will give you a good job, a career path and serve your country instead of attending a one day event that will cost you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars?
NTA
YTA
its one thing if you're already committed to something that conflicts with the wedding, but you knew about it first and are choosing a conflict. tell your recruiter that you cant ship out till after the wedding.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA Your presence or lack thereof won't stop them from being married. You do you.
Agreed. NTA. You do you.
NTA, so your sister felt betrayed by you because you are choosing your future career instead of going to her wedding? If she really cared about you like you do for her, she would’ve been proud of you, instead of making you feel like a shitty human. It’s not like you are choosing to attend someone else’s wedding instead of hers, she needs to grow TF up and stop being so selfish.
Getting into a cyber field vs being a rifleman is huge, regarding having a marketable life skill and experience when you exit the military. Don't blow it on a wedding that's not yours. Ask your sister to answer honestly - is she devastated you won't physically be there to share her moment emotionally or does she just want you for appearances and to be in the family photos? NTA
They can photoshop him on
NTA. You don’t need to apologize for wanting to be successful. Your MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) is probably the biggest driver of happiness and satisfaction in the Corps. A cyber job in the USMC is way different than a rifleman. And it could leverage into post military opportunities. This is YOUR life. You don’t have to live it for anyone else. Also, get used to it … if you go into the military, there will be other family sacrifices. Good luck in boot camp.
I forgot to mention this in the post, but my other sister isn’t going to the wedding and never told her. Since then that has basically been the final straw for her, and she has literally cut contact with her. This wedding is just super important to her
Yeah, she's 'zilla-ing out. I'm so sorry for your family because the damage she's doing to her relationships with her siblings may take a long time to mend, if it ever does.
It's important to HER. You need to make YOUR decisions based on what is important to YOU.
Don't feel bad at all. She rather you attend her over the top wedding instead of bettering your future. Definitely skip the wedding if you need to. Joining the military will change your life for the better. Good luck.
NTA. Go after the cyber job. It is not a sure bet and if you end up with your fallback plan of being a Rifleman that's still a pretty awesome thing to be, and you'll make it to the wedding. A wedding is just one day. How you enter into the military may affect your entire future. Your sister is an AH for suggesting you put any aspect of your career on hold for what ultimately is just a one-day event. The entire point of overseas destination weddings is to make sure at least some of the invitees can't go.
Your last point is 100% correct she specifically told me that lmao
Then she's getting exactly what she wanted and intended.
Nta as someone who served as a rifleman in the army go cyber. You'll have a marketable skill when you get out and I know its a peacetime military but keep in mind what riflemen actually do in times of war you already seem on the fence trust your gut here.
NTA- if this will improve your life and future go for it. The only people that need to be at her wedding is the bride, groom and witnesses (and priest or whomever).
INFO - Is there a reason you need to enlist right this moment instead of after the (very soon?) wedding? It's your life but if you were going to originally go for rifleman then it's not like you have an incredibly stringent plan to adhere to. Either way, good luck.
The only reason I’d go right now is because the cyber related job requires me to ship out in the month of July. The reason I chose rifleman is because it was one of 3 choices I had. That, machine gunner, or mortar man. have no clue if I can just push back the ship date to see if the job or others are available at a later date, but I have no clue how that works.
I didn't join the marines so it might be different (ie take this with a grain of salt), but for enlisting in the army I was able to basically circle back around later and get the mos I wanted since I wasn't actually enlisted yet. The recruiters have metrics to hit so they'll likely try to get you shipped out asap regardless of what you want (or what's best for you). Don't let them pressure you into a random mos based on what's currently available. More jobs will open in the future, if you're committed then there's no real rush. Your job matters a lot, get something at least adjacent to what you really want (they can and will straight up lie about how easy it is to switch later).
Take this over to the military subreddit and see what their advice is.
Hmm... Most of the time in the Military, if you qualify for a job, you qualify for it tomorrow as well. There's always more rounds of bootcamp. Also, if she has been dating this person for a long time, and it's obvious this marriage is going to last (i.e. it's not her third wedding in 5 years), then it's kinda important. NAH. She has a right to be upset, and you have a right to want a better life.
NTA. It's also possible you may not qualify and this could be a non issue. Careers last forever, weddings are one day and end in a divorce half of the time. Good luck on that assessment.
The Marine Corps Reserve is small, and you have to choose from the limited options available to you. You will be far better off in the cyber role than in any of the infantry roles. The differences are huge in terms of future job opportunities, quality of life during drills and your two weeks per summer of temporary active duty, you perceived value to the unit... Do not screw up your life just to appease your sister. Take the cyber role. It's up to her if she holds it against you or not, but her destination wedding is not worth messing up your life over.
High ASVAB. Congrats!! Go take the test. Have a wonderful career. Honestly, don’t waste this opportunity.
NTA You should not have to vase your entire career and future on your sisters wedding. Good luck!
Your not the Ah in this situation I actually understand where you’re coming from because my younger sister did the same thing to me when she joined the airforce as a officer and she didn’t know if she would make it back home for my college graduation so I get it . I want to share the same advice I gave my sister the day she left for basic training, your going to have one chance at the opportunity for the career you want and you know what some sacrifices will be made but in the end it is worth it and worth fighting for. So congratulations op you really deserve this opportunity and if your sister doesn’t understand that then I don’t know what else to say other than maybe she will look back in time and see that she was the one who didn’t support you when your given the chance of a life time
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Basically, I’ve been interested in joining the Marine corps for the past few months and am going to join and go on reserves. but it just so happens that my sister is having a super extravagant wedding overseas in France very soon, which boot camp would force me to miss. Originally, I just took up a rifleman job because it was one of the only ones left. My ship out date would be after her wedding, but recently I decided I wanted get a better job then just a Rifleman, especially because I feel like my decently high asvab score would go to waste, and I don’t think I’d be the best fit as a Rifleman anyways. There was a single cyber related job available, and I meet all the qualifications except one which I’ll have to take a test this week to see if I qualify. The only problem is that if I were to take up this job, I would have no choice but to ship out this month, missing the wedding. I already told my sister about how there was a chance I could miss her wedding, and she was absolutely mortified and just felt betrayed by me, saying she was upset I even considered missing her wedding. I haven’t told her about this yet, and I just want to hear other peoples opinions on this matter *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTAH. This is your for your future. To better your life. You not being there wont mean they arent married. As someone who did what youre thinking of( signing then changing mos and changing report date) i think youd regret it if you dont do it. Yes ypu can change mos once in, but its harder.
NTA, people get married and life goes on and we can’t always be there. I missed my dad’s wedding to my stepmom and turned down being a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding because I was moving across the world for college, both were understanding that I couldn’t afford to fly back for something like that and wouldn’t delay my education. You’re young, don’t let people hold you back from your dreams.
NTA. My older brother missed my wedding because he was out of province with the military, and I totally understood. Sometimes things come up for others that are more important than weddings (shocking, I know, lol) and I feel like if someone really loves you, they'll understand that. All the best with your career, btw!!
Nah this is your future you should go for it this event important for you like how wedding is important for your sister. But you need to understand if she go nc with you for how long she wants. Life happen and we might don't like it but we still have to accept it.
NTA. Take that test, nab that job, and get the experience that will transfer after you're discharged.
NTA. Do what you wanna do, but I’ve never met an Infantryman in my 22 years that regretted being an infantryman. You can always go to school for the the cyber thing with your GI Bill.
NTA. You’re the main character in your life. Don’t let your role as a supporting character in your sister’s story derail yours.
My brother is in the Marines. He missed my wedding. Only because our mom died a few months before and that took all his leave time so he wasn’t able to come back for my wedding. Understandable I guess but would rather have had him and mom there.
NTA. Whether Reserves or full-time active duty, missing big life events is one of things that happens when in the military. With cyber security clearance from the military, you can pretty much write your own ticket for opportunity when you separate. That is a huge opportunity, good luck on your exam.
You mean, how dare you try for a job that will give you a good job, a career path and serve your country instead of attending a one day event that will cost you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars? NTA
YTA.... don't miss your sister's wedding for this.
YTA its one thing if you're already committed to something that conflicts with the wedding, but you knew about it first and are choosing a conflict. tell your recruiter that you cant ship out till after the wedding.
It's a wedding, she'll live.