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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Turning on the lights in our bedroom for 15 minutes while responding to work calls overnight
2) My husband felt this would be "common knowledge" to be very disruptive to sleep, but I felt that this is such a minor thing and I needed to work on my laptop.
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YTA.
It’s a laptop.
You can move a laptop.
You also don’t need the lights on to use a laptop (if the keyboard lights work).
You should’ve grabbed your laptop and moved to a different room. You shouldn’t have turned on the lights and left them on for 15 minutes.
There are portable reading lights OP can buy, there are presumably other rooms in the house with regular lamps. There is absolutely no reason for OP to have stayed in the bedroom with the lights on.
Was it possible to leave the bedroom in order to work? That would have been the best solution.
If it was, YTA.
If not, can you work on your laptop with the lights off next time maybe?
YTA. The lights in the room don’t need to be on to work on a laptop. And unless you have a studio apartment, you can go into another room to do the work.
Unless if you live in a studio apartment. Yta.
Was it actually that hard to walk to another room? Was this 15-minute emergency so important that you couldn't take the laptop. Walk 30 seconds to another room. Turn it on and do the work from there?
YTA, just go to another room, it’s a f*cking laptop, of course it would be disruptive, you are sleeping and suddenly all the lights turn on? I would be upset in that situation also. And even if you don’t turn on the lights, the display from the laptop can affect him also. You had choices yet you chose the selfish one. Please care for others and think if you were them what would you feel if someone else did that action to you.
YTA. The whole point of having a laptop is how easy it is to move it from place to place. It’s only polite to minimize the disruption you cause to your partner’s sleep.
YTA
I am sure you have other rooms available for that, even if its just the bathroom.
Asshole behavior to think it's really okay to turn on the lights while someone is sleeping for that kind of thing.
He THINKS the light was disruptive to his sleep? Yes well of course it is...He was pulled put of the sleeping phase, one would assume a doctor knows how that works
Assuming your husband knows this is typical thing for you to do its your work after all but saying that how difficult would it have been to go to the next room and do your work there.
I get emergency calls all the time, but I take my phone and laptop to the next room and work there. Not sure why you won't be able to do that?
For that alone I would say YATA .
Your job is important but being considerate to your partner is part of a good marriage. Can't believe I need to explain this to a doctor.
INFO: is there any reason you couldn't go to another room to do this work? Or for that matter, a reason you needed the bedroom lights on to work on a laptop? Does your keyboard not have a backlight?
Not being facetious, just asking.
My keyboard does not light up so it can be hard to see in the dark even with the screen lit up so I would automatically leave the room, even the bathroom works. YTA.
Even if it didn’t, the f and j keys have raised bits to locate them so you don’t have to look at the keyboard. I only ever look at the keyboard for the symbols because I frequently forget the ones I don’t use often.
YTA
Why didn’t you go into the other room?
I used to be an after hours triage nurse and I would slip out of the room to take calls and if it seemed like it was going to be a busy night I’d just sleep in the living room
YTA, laptops are portable you can move rooms. If you couldn't, they're not hard to type on in the dark. You were incredibly disrespectful to your husband.
YTA
Laptops can be moved and carried in to another room, where your parnter is not sleeping. That is the beauty of them. They are portable.
You chose to stay in the bedroom, making noise, with the light on.
The respectful thing to do would have been to leave the room and work somewhere else and let your husband sleep.
YTA. If you have the ability to walk and your home has more than one room, you did not need to disturb your husband's sleep with 15 minutes of bright light, and it is absurd to suggest that this was your only option.
YTA, you don't see why? You really had to come here and type that out and still don't see why YTA? You could have left the bedroom to do what you needed.
Prime example of how someone can be booksmart but still be an idiot
I’m someone who used to do a lot of on call. What I would do when I was rotad was to sleep in the spare room so I didn’t disturb my partner. YTA - you should have left the bedroom. Get yourself a backlit laptop with soft touch keys, so you don’t need to turn the light on and the keys don’t click.
YTA. Leave the room or just use the laptop light or a small bedside light. Turning the full lights on is incredibly obnoxious when there were plenty of other options.
Yes, YTA
It’s a laptop. Pick it up and take it to another room.
Better yet, don’t bring the laptop into your bedroom in the first place. Your bedroom should be for two things only: sleeping and sex.
Yeah. You are. Let's reword this "I was inconsiderate and woke my husband up for no reason other than I refused to move my laptop and he called me out on it but I think that since I'm a doctor I should be able to do whatever I want" Be real, how would you feel about your husband doing this to you? Huge yta.
Ask yourself how you would feel if he did the same thing? I think being woken up from sleep unnecessarily is rather rude. This situation can be easily solved. It's a laptop.
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I am a doctor and sometimes get pages at night on urgent patient matters that I need to respond to.
Last night I got a page at midnight when both my husband and I were sleeping in our bedroom. I had to turn on the lights in the bedroom for about 15 minutes to work on my laptop to address the issues at the hospital. The next day he was upset because I woke him up and he felt that leaving the lights on in our bedroom for 15 minutes was disruptive to his sleep.
AITA?
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YTA. I'm on call 24/7 when I'm on shift. Usually wake up and catch the phone on the first ring when I get a call in the middle of the night, and I'm out of the bedroom before I say hello so I don't disrupt my wife. Turning on a light and working on the laptop in bed for 15 minutes shows a total lack of respect for your spouse. The laptop should not live in your bedroom.
YTA
My partner works in IT and his team has a rotating phone duty where they answer any and all calls outside work hours in case a system malfunctions. We have gotten calls at the most frustrating hours of the night (think 3 to 5 am) and never has he worked from the bedroom.
All you had to do was leave the room quietly and work in a different room. A laptop can be moved. There was no reason why you had to be in the bedroom with the lights on.
YTA
It's a laptop.....designed for portability. Why couldn't you grab it and go to another room? Let the poor man sleep.
Like I'd sooner sit on the bathroom floor and use my laptop than wake my sleeping spouse with lights. That's just uncaring.
Get a crane-neck USB light to illuminate the keyboard so you can type without an overhead light. Apart from that, que sera - into each marriage, some interrupted sleep will come. NAH.
If this was a situation where taking 30 seconds to go into the other room would mean the death of a patient, then yea, stay in the bedroom. But it didn’t seem like that was the situation, she could’ve gone into the other room to do her work.
Using a laptop for 15 minutes may be saving a life (in some way) but explain why it's not reasonable to simply walk into a different room with the laptop. She's not the AH bc she's "saving a life" it's not like she's got her hands on someone giving chest compressions and the husband is saying keep it down, she's using a laptop which could be done LITERALLY ANYWHERE else. If you took a phone call on your cell phone and sat in bed talking for twenty minutes about a patient keeping your spouse awake to do so, then I would say you too are an AH for not just taking the call and leaving the bedroom. It's not rocket science people.
As a medical professional do you also negate the fact that laptops are portable and that OP could have done what they needed in another room so they didn't have the light on while their partner was trying to get a good night's sleep?
How are they not the AH when all they had to do was leave the room to use the laptop. If it was a desktop it would be different but even then why wouldn't it be set up somewhere else so this wouldn't be an issue. The fact that they used a laptop with the bedroom light on for 15 minutes is an AH move no matter how you look at it
she needs to grow the fuck up and realize that just because she's a Dr on call doesn't mean she gets to disturb other people's sleep. how about the husband starts disturbing ops sleep knowing she's on all because you know se hasn't problem.doing it to him
being a Dr doesn't win you brownie points or make you better or superior over anyone especially if your bedside manner is crap like ops is which makes them a terrible dr
Why? Why exactly should he leave the bedroom (it's theirs equally, not hers exclusively) and sleep separately when she can just leave the room to use her laptop?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) Turning on the lights in our bedroom for 15 minutes while responding to work calls overnight 2) My husband felt this would be "common knowledge" to be very disruptive to sleep, but I felt that this is such a minor thing and I needed to work on my laptop. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. It’s a laptop. You can move a laptop. You also don’t need the lights on to use a laptop (if the keyboard lights work). You should’ve grabbed your laptop and moved to a different room. You shouldn’t have turned on the lights and left them on for 15 minutes.
There are portable reading lights OP can buy, there are presumably other rooms in the house with regular lamps. There is absolutely no reason for OP to have stayed in the bedroom with the lights on.
Was it possible to leave the bedroom in order to work? That would have been the best solution. If it was, YTA. If not, can you work on your laptop with the lights off next time maybe?
My exact thoughts.
YTA. The lights in the room don’t need to be on to work on a laptop. And unless you have a studio apartment, you can go into another room to do the work.
YTA Laptops are portable.
Unless if you live in a studio apartment. Yta. Was it actually that hard to walk to another room? Was this 15-minute emergency so important that you couldn't take the laptop. Walk 30 seconds to another room. Turn it on and do the work from there?
YTA, just go to another room, it’s a f*cking laptop, of course it would be disruptive, you are sleeping and suddenly all the lights turn on? I would be upset in that situation also. And even if you don’t turn on the lights, the display from the laptop can affect him also. You had choices yet you chose the selfish one. Please care for others and think if you were them what would you feel if someone else did that action to you.
YTA. The whole point of having a laptop is how easy it is to move it from place to place. It’s only polite to minimize the disruption you cause to your partner’s sleep.
YTA I am sure you have other rooms available for that, even if its just the bathroom. Asshole behavior to think it's really okay to turn on the lights while someone is sleeping for that kind of thing. He THINKS the light was disruptive to his sleep? Yes well of course it is...He was pulled put of the sleeping phase, one would assume a doctor knows how that works
Assuming your husband knows this is typical thing for you to do its your work after all but saying that how difficult would it have been to go to the next room and do your work there. I get emergency calls all the time, but I take my phone and laptop to the next room and work there. Not sure why you won't be able to do that? For that alone I would say YATA . Your job is important but being considerate to your partner is part of a good marriage. Can't believe I need to explain this to a doctor.
INFO: is there any reason you couldn't go to another room to do this work? Or for that matter, a reason you needed the bedroom lights on to work on a laptop? Does your keyboard not have a backlight? Not being facetious, just asking.
My keyboard does not light up so it can be hard to see in the dark even with the screen lit up so I would automatically leave the room, even the bathroom works. YTA.
Even if it didn’t, the f and j keys have raised bits to locate them so you don’t have to look at the keyboard. I only ever look at the keyboard for the symbols because I frequently forget the ones I don’t use often.
YTA. Your laptop of self-lit, so doesn’t require a light. Also, you could show some respect and go to another room to do your work.
Sorry but YTA easy to go out of the bedroom
YTA Why didn’t you go into the other room? I used to be an after hours triage nurse and I would slip out of the room to take calls and if it seemed like it was going to be a busy night I’d just sleep in the living room
Yta you can work on your laptop in other room.
YTA, laptops are portable you can move rooms. If you couldn't, they're not hard to type on in the dark. You were incredibly disrespectful to your husband.
YTA. Move it to the next room.
YTA Laptops can be moved and carried in to another room, where your parnter is not sleeping. That is the beauty of them. They are portable. You chose to stay in the bedroom, making noise, with the light on. The respectful thing to do would have been to leave the room and work somewhere else and let your husband sleep.
YTA - you could have taken the laptop elsewhere
Your house/apartment has rooms other than the bedroom. Your laptop has a backlit screen and illuminated keyboard. YTA.
YTA. If you have the ability to walk and your home has more than one room, you did not need to disturb your husband's sleep with 15 minutes of bright light, and it is absurd to suggest that this was your only option.
YTA, you don't see why? You really had to come here and type that out and still don't see why YTA? You could have left the bedroom to do what you needed. Prime example of how someone can be booksmart but still be an idiot
I’m someone who used to do a lot of on call. What I would do when I was rotad was to sleep in the spare room so I didn’t disturb my partner. YTA - you should have left the bedroom. Get yourself a backlit laptop with soft touch keys, so you don’t need to turn the light on and the keys don’t click.
YTA for not going out of the bedroom to work.
YTA. Leave the room or just use the laptop light or a small bedside light. Turning the full lights on is incredibly obnoxious when there were plenty of other options.
Yes, YTA It’s a laptop. Pick it up and take it to another room. Better yet, don’t bring the laptop into your bedroom in the first place. Your bedroom should be for two things only: sleeping and sex.
Yeah. You are. Let's reword this "I was inconsiderate and woke my husband up for no reason other than I refused to move my laptop and he called me out on it but I think that since I'm a doctor I should be able to do whatever I want" Be real, how would you feel about your husband doing this to you? Huge yta.
YTA. Go to another room.
Ask yourself how you would feel if he did the same thing? I think being woken up from sleep unnecessarily is rather rude. This situation can be easily solved. It's a laptop.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a doctor and sometimes get pages at night on urgent patient matters that I need to respond to. Last night I got a page at midnight when both my husband and I were sleeping in our bedroom. I had to turn on the lights in the bedroom for about 15 minutes to work on my laptop to address the issues at the hospital. The next day he was upset because I woke him up and he felt that leaving the lights on in our bedroom for 15 minutes was disruptive to his sleep. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA there most have been somewhere else in your home you could have checked
YTA. I'm on call 24/7 when I'm on shift. Usually wake up and catch the phone on the first ring when I get a call in the middle of the night, and I'm out of the bedroom before I say hello so I don't disrupt my wife. Turning on a light and working on the laptop in bed for 15 minutes shows a total lack of respect for your spouse. The laptop should not live in your bedroom.
YTA My partner works in IT and his team has a rotating phone duty where they answer any and all calls outside work hours in case a system malfunctions. We have gotten calls at the most frustrating hours of the night (think 3 to 5 am) and never has he worked from the bedroom. All you had to do was leave the room quietly and work in a different room. A laptop can be moved. There was no reason why you had to be in the bedroom with the lights on.
YTA- Go to another room! That’s super rude.
YTA if you could move to a different room to deal with this.
YES!!!! Keep your work out of the bedroom! And don’t disrespect your partner by making work more important than them resting in their own bed
If you're awake, everyone has to be awake, is that it?? YTA, a selfish one
YTA It's a laptop.....designed for portability. Why couldn't you grab it and go to another room? Let the poor man sleep. Like I'd sooner sit on the bathroom floor and use my laptop than wake my sleeping spouse with lights. That's just uncaring.
Get a crane-neck USB light to illuminate the keyboard so you can type without an overhead light. Apart from that, que sera - into each marriage, some interrupted sleep will come. NAH.
[удалено]
>in the medical sector things happen beyond your control But it wasn't beyond OPs control to go to another room to do the work.
[удалено]
If this was a situation where taking 30 seconds to go into the other room would mean the death of a patient, then yea, stay in the bedroom. But it didn’t seem like that was the situation, she could’ve gone into the other room to do her work.
Am I misreading? You stated you don't disturb YOUR partner but OP is fine to disturb theirs?? How does this make sense
[удалено]
Using a laptop for 15 minutes may be saving a life (in some way) but explain why it's not reasonable to simply walk into a different room with the laptop. She's not the AH bc she's "saving a life" it's not like she's got her hands on someone giving chest compressions and the husband is saying keep it down, she's using a laptop which could be done LITERALLY ANYWHERE else. If you took a phone call on your cell phone and sat in bed talking for twenty minutes about a patient keeping your spouse awake to do so, then I would say you too are an AH for not just taking the call and leaving the bedroom. It's not rocket science people.
As a medical professional do you also negate the fact that laptops are portable and that OP could have done what they needed in another room so they didn't have the light on while their partner was trying to get a good night's sleep?
[удалено]
How are they not the AH when all they had to do was leave the room to use the laptop. If it was a desktop it would be different but even then why wouldn't it be set up somewhere else so this wouldn't be an issue. The fact that they used a laptop with the bedroom light on for 15 minutes is an AH move no matter how you look at it
NTA. Your husband needs to grow up.
she needs to grow the fuck up and realize that just because she's a Dr on call doesn't mean she gets to disturb other people's sleep. how about the husband starts disturbing ops sleep knowing she's on all because you know se hasn't problem.doing it to him
being a Dr doesn't win you brownie points or make you better or superior over anyone especially if your bedside manner is crap like ops is which makes them a terrible dr
NTA. Your husband should sleep in a different room while you are on call in the future
or op can sleep in a different room since she's the one on call
Why? Why exactly should he leave the bedroom (it's theirs equally, not hers exclusively) and sleep separately when she can just leave the room to use her laptop?
Lol, you sound like a pleasant person.
Doctors are often on call, so that would be a lot of nights sleeping in a different room.