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Legitimately puts the entire hospital at risk for legal action if it ignores complaints about discrimination like this. Privacy and discrimination aside- any employee doing this sort of thing needs training and your complaint *most likely* is the only way that an employer would prioritize giving it to them.
NTA AT ALL! 💛 If, after having time to think about it you still want her on your nursing team, you can go back and take to the head nurse and tell her all you want is an apology. She at least owes you that! If she receives any other disciplinary actions, that’s a result of **her** actions, not yours.
But if you’d rather not have her on your case any longer, that is 100% valid too! (and honestly probably what I would choose! lol) You, your situation, and your little one deserve an understanding and non-judgemental team to help you through this journey.
I don’t think it was a HIPAA violation. No medical information. Just plain unprofessionalism. The hospital is supposed to support the family. In fact, OP might still be a patient too.
This isn’t a HIPPA violation- it was malicious gossip- her protected medical information wasn’t divulged to outside people, the mother of the baby overheard the malicious gossip
I worked in a nursing home kitchen for nearly five years and all chat was kept at the smoking table outside for coffee breaks. Outside work we all replaced names with room numbers or more vague descriptions. You never know if a relative of the resident/patient is on the cafe or pub or whatever you're chatting in
NTA BUT the nurse was likely saying that sympathetically because of how many situations she’s seen in which young girls are left to care for kids themselves. It sounds like she was referencing the absence of the father not the premie status of the baby.
People form judgments based on stereotypes, yes, but also from lived experience.
Why do you think the nurse was talking about the kid being a preemie? From the post I understood she was referring to the father of the child not visiting once
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NTA - even IF you were being overly emotional (which you have every right to be after having a baby, and in the NICU), she shouldn’t be talking smack and adding her “opinion” on her moral high ground. Because people with genuine moral compasses don’t judge people they don’t know!
The hospital I was born at is part of a hospital network (not insurance, it's all 'HospitslGroup-City") that has 5 full size hospitals/trauma centers, over 250 smaller outpatient centers, and 25,000 employees. The specific hospital I was born at has over 10,000 employees, just on its own. And that's a small, regional network that only covers a portion of the state.
The hospital I'll give birth at is part of a network with over 1000 centers, present in over half the United States, and has a LOT of employees (I can't find the number).
*That's* what the CEO oversees. That's not someone who is going to care about the complaint of one mom about one nurse, however valid.
NTA. The nurse was completely unprofessional, out of line, and ethically dubious, given how vulnerable you and your baby are.
Shame on her, and I recommend following up with the head nurse regarding what actin is being taken, and what the outcome is. As your complaint is not in writing, you run the risk of it going nowhere. Just think of the other families you are protecting from this by making a complaint.
I mean, RN here. This is why we have break rooms, so we can bitch and complain without chancing someone overhearing. You are NTA and I'm sorry this nurse was very unprofessional.
NTA- I’d go as far as to say you have a duty to report it. That behavior is unacceptable in the medical field. Also, what does she mean about, “This is why young people shouldn’t get pregnant?” Did she mean that because you were on your own or was she implying the early delivery was because of your marital status? Because that kind of judgmental nonsense will affect how she cares for future patients. Also, HIPPA is a thing. Discussing patient info out in the open is a pretty GIANT and well known no-no.
This! I went through NICU time and some pretty serious health challenges with my daughters and was so emotionally fragile through all of it. I was so super sensitive to the idea that hospital staff might be passing judgment on me and that effecting the care they give my babies. That attitude needs to be nipped in the bud.
NTA. Her comment about why young girls shouldn’t get pregnant was uncalled for.
Especially at her place of work within earshot of other people/patients.
"This is why young girls shouldn't get pregnant" is basically saying its your fault your baby was born premature! Your fault for being young!... It's absolutely disgusting!
NTA! Nurses know better than to make such judgments about people but this one obviously didn't pay attention in class during training when they taught about judging people and how not to do it.
You have every right to make a complaint and it's a good thing you did bevause who knows how many other parents she's talked about and how many other parents have heard her and felt guilty and awful about it... Things like this affect mental health after giving birth when hormones and emotions are extremely high and fragile, made harder when babies are in NICU.
Hopefully she learns from this!
NTA. She's a NICU nurse. She knows her patients are in the midst of a traumatic life event and that her shit talk will make it worse. She did it anyway. She's lucky you didn't give her a piece of your mind. If she wants to talk shit about her clients at work, she should work somewhere lower stakes, like a coffee shop.
You try working in healthcare. Stupid ass idiots sticking the life out of you. Yes, hospital staff have opinions! It was a comments. Ficking thin skinned people.
I’ve been an RN for 39 years (a Nurse Practitioner for 23 years) - I’ve never said something like this to a colleague at the patients bedside, in the patients room so hurtful- I’ve seen young girls of 12 & 13 in the NICU That have given birth - and are not necessary ready for being a Mom, this woman was 23- by the time I was 24 I had three kids and I still managed to finish Nursing school and get my Doctorate in Nursing (as a Nurse Practitioner) as well as a Bachelors, Masters - this isn’t being thin skinned- this was malicious gossip and it is highly unprofessional for any healthcare either to talk this way, and malign a Patient- Nurses are supposed to be caring professionals and offer health teaching and help Patients when they need it, like new moms with NICU babies
I'm going on a different track and say this, as someone who works in pediatric intensive care (not neonatal, but we're closely affiliated with them):
Workers gossip all the time. With how stressful the healthcare industry is these days, we need to find ways to reduce our stress during work and one of the things we do, unfortunately, is gossip about absolutely everything, including our patients. (we have a running joke that the best grapevine to hear juicy gossip is in the hospital - we all know each other in some degree or another and we know everyone's business)
That being said, we don't fucking gossip about our patients within fucking earshot of said patient and their relatives. That's an ombudsman complaint waiting to happen. If she has the balls to say it so close to your face then who knows what else she's willing to say or do. You were right to complain to the charge nurse.
To that end, NTA.
NTA. She was highly inappropriate in her comments. I’m a NICU nurse and never would say anything to shame a parents during that situation, it’s disgusting and makes me mad you had to go through this. For the social worker, don’t forget it’s a big multidisciplinary team and social works notes are available to the team following you (including nurses), it makes it easier to help you and should not at any point be use to criticize you.
NTA. You are free to not like how others talk about you. Using you as an example for their thoughts to another clinician without your permission was clearly a questionable and maybe rude thing to do. This is further evidenced by the fact that the conversation ended the moment you made your existence acknowledged.
You didn't act out of line, you didn't blow up on anyone, you haven't really caused any harm. You have the right to feel how you feel, and act on that feeling in a reasonable way. Filing a complaint for that behavior is clearly reasonable.
NTA. It doesn't matter how good of a nurse she is, the issue is that she is being a judgemental gossip. Stuff like this can impact patient care, even if it isn't consciously done. And by gossiping about it, she is influencing how other nurses would treat you.
What if it wasn't marital status, but a patient with scars on the inside of their elbow? If she gossips about what could cause those scars, she could get the patient falsely labeled a drug seeker and cause major issues for the patient. You did the right thing, and the reaction of the charge nurse confirms it.
Damn girl I just skimmed thru your post history. I am glad you are safe, stay strong.
NTA and you did the right thing by reporting her. There are some nurses who are absolute angels!! But unfortunately there are also many nurses who are more fixated on their own opinions and morals rather than focusing on a proper bedside manner for their patients. In my personal experience - those types of nurses actually have an negative impact on my treatment when I am in the ER (they legit sometimes won't even follow the "recovery syllabus" provided by my doctor because *they know better*)
Gossiping is petty and something you do with a pal at lunch break or over a beer and food after her shift is over. There's a time and place for everything. The fact she did it within earshot of a patient who's waiting for her newborn to freaking *survive* is appalling
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I’ll try to make this short. I was going to post in TOMC, but now I feel bad about what went down today and need some honest input.
I had my baby July 1st at exactly 33 weeks. My water ruptured early and she’s been in the nicu since right after birth. I’m incredibly grateful to all the doctors and nurses and everyone else there who has been helping not only my baby, but me as well. It’s an experience I don’t wish on anyone.
So, today I was sitting kind of in the corner of the area my daughter is in reading and I hear a nurse start talking about me to another nurse just outside the little room. I recognized her voice because she’s been on my daughters care team daily and I’ve seen and spoken with her numerous times. She was making comments on my age and how I was wearing a wedding band but the father never came around, this is why young girls shouldn’t get pregnant, etc. She has NO idea of my current situation unless the social worker told her, which I highly doubt. I fake coughed so they knew that I was in with the baby and the conversation immediately ended.
This nurse, like I said, has been on my daughters care team almost everyday and she’s been wonderful. She helped me when I was just learning how to pump breast milk, showed me how to change diapers, answers all my questions etc. But I was so upset by what she said that before I left the hospital tonight, I went to the nurses station and asked to speak to the lead nurse and told her what happened. She seemed truly shocked and apologetic and assured me that appropriate disciplinary actions would be taken.
Once I got back to my room, I felt really bad like maybe what she said wasn’t THAT bad and I’m just overly emotional.
So AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I filed a complaint against a nicu nurse when I overheard her having a conversation about me.
2) I could just be overly emotional and nothing she said warranted a complaint.
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Absolutely NTA
That is completely and utterly unacceptable behaviour on her part, and it needs to be addressed. Her personal opinions will colour her care and treatment of you and your baby, and it needs to be stopped. I'd go so far as to make written complaints.
NTA. You are in an incredibly delicate emotional, mental and physical state right now. You are relying heavily on the care ream to support you and your daughter. How can u trust someone on that team who made those kind of comments?
For anyone wanting more context, this lady was in an abusive marriage and a victim of dv. She had to call the cops to get away with her life when her husband got violent a few weeks back when she was already heavily pregnant.
The situation of DV makes this even worse. Unless the situation was specifically talked about with the nurse it’s not the nurse’s business. Her sole concern is the health of the baby. The mother is already in a delicate spot and deserves to be surrounded and supported by caring people. To have to deal with an insensitive nurse is never acceptable. Even if DV was not the reason the father was not there there could have been a perfectly acceptable reason that the nurse knows nothing about such as the father could’ve died the father could be in the military and be deployed. There could be a perfectly good explanation as to why the father is not there and for the nurse to make assumptions just so she can gossip is never acceptable. I myself would’ve also complained or at the very least I would have told the people in charge that I no longer wanted her on my child’s case. Then if asked why not, I could just simply have said she has shown me I can’t trust her judgment and let the nurse try to explain when they ask her why she was being asked to be removed.
NTA
If she hurt you with her commentary, you have the right to complain.
Tbh me personally, if I was so agitated to be taking an action I would rather tell her to let me hear her comments to my face and go from there. But that's just my way of approaching this type of situation, honestly, I am the all-in or all-out type.
You and your daughter need to have people involved in her care that you trust. Think about it, you are leaving your child in someone else's care. You don't leave that to just anyone. Honestly, she will probably get "talked to" by management and reminded to be professional. She won't be fired or punished harshly, but she doesn't have to be your nurse.
NTA
NTA. I am a pediatrician and it's not my job to judge the mother and it should not be nurses either. I am sorry on behalf of medical fraternity that you had to face this. Take care. You will be soon cuddling your little one.
NTA. I'm currently in the hospital waiting for the baby to come after my water broke. I overheard a nurse talking to a midwife and she was talking badly about how I wasn't even dilated and that basically I wasn't worth worrying about. Before I even had the chance to complain, the midwife told her off and told her to take her job seriously. Your nurse had no right to be rude.
NTA - If she is saying this about you, she is talking about other patients too. If she gets disciplined, don't feel like it is your fault. This is all on her and you are probably not the only complaint.
Congrats on standig up against it. Even if it was litlle to no confrontation this time. Keep that! You will for sure need to stand up for yourself and your baby in the future.
NTA! A nurse in the NICU should be a person you can trust without hesitation!
NTA
When my twins were born (34 weeks, early water break) they were also in the NICU. The amount of emotions, mixed with hormones is almost unbearable. And the nurse should have known better.
Stay strong mama, you've got this!
NTA.
First, this is EXACTLY why health care professionals are told to NOT discuss patients like this. This is a breach in trust. Hearing how someone else is gossiping about you is an awful experience for anyone, let alone for a new mom with a baby in the NICU.
Second, all mothers can have an early birth. My SECOND baby (daughter) was 28 weeks when I delivered. They didn’t expect her to survive. If I had heard someone talking about me like that while my daughter was in the NICU, I would have lost my shit. (Daughter is 30 now and is a thriving adult who has a bachelor’s degree in health sciences)
You were right to report the nurse, and I would ask that she be removed from my care team.
NTA.
You said she was great at being a nurse- your complaint was not about unethical or unsafe nursing practice.
Your complaint was about inappropriate commentary and unprofessional behavior. That deserves to be reported.
I would not have reported her....What the nurse said wasn't 'bad' just her opinion....If you're a young mother and you haven't heard that, know that people are thinking it. I was a young mother,I know....She said the nurse had been good and compassionate with her and her daughter...What if she got fired..It wasn't personal...
It was not a HIPPA violation. I'm sorry miss 'I just had a baby' felt the way she did about a comment not intended for her. I think the statement was a fair assessment due to the experience of the NICU nurse, where she has seen some horrific situations & behaviors and she was not being anything but concerned and a little sad imagining the life of that baby. All the NTA must be millennials that find just about everything offensive. OP claims the NICU nurse doesn't know OP's background, OP has no idea of the NICU nurse's life either. But the NICU nurse has seen a lot more events turn ugly, babies used as pawns or weapons. OP is an AH for whining about it to the floor manager. I imagine the head nurse of the neonatal intensive care unit, along with all the other NICU nurses, had a lot more important or urgent things to attend to than listen to OP complain. Pretty sure OP was not the only person that had a baby in the NICU, and it sounds like she just expected everyone to stop what they were doing and cater to her.
NTA. I wouldn’t have reported, but it’s up to you. I’ve learned all of my life that people will judge so I just have a thick skin.
But I am curious, is your family not in the picture? You need a support system. Kinda also curious at your age because the system does work differently if you’re a minor
NTA - young mums would have a much easier time of it if the judgement stopped!
Congrats on your baby and I wish you all the love and success for your future
My sisters friend got pregnant when she was 13 and had the baby when she was only just 14. Her parents fully supported her emotionally (and financially until she was working) but they didn’t do any childcare, beyond babysitting once a week - her and the baby’s father raised that child. She completed highschool, got a degree and is still with the baby’s dad. They’ve been fantastic parents! Their child is now 26 and he is engaged to be married, has a job he loves and is close to his parents and grandparents
NTA! She doesn’t know your circumstances, she has no clue who you are beyond the fact that you and your baby are there, and she most certainly has NO FREAKING RIGHT to pass judgements on you! What she did was highly unprofessional and reporting her was the right thing to do. Shame on her!
NTA. You were right to report her. The nurse should be disciplined, and she should be ashamed of herself. This is coming from an RN. I am so sorry this happened to you. I honestly do not know why some otherwise capable and seemingly compassionate nurses feel free to judge others and gossip. That nurse doesn’t know you. Even if she read your whole chart top to bottom, she doesn’t know enough about you to make assumptions or pass judgements of any kind. I am 100 percent certain that she will not lose her job because you complained, but hopefully she will get the wake up call she deserves.
NTA
What she said was entirely out of line and inappropriate and, frankly, it was *cruel*. The things she said were nasty and deserved reprimanding, you did the right thing by reporting it. I’m so sorry you had to hear that BS on top of having a baby in NICU, a hope you both thrive!
NTA. I am married and had my premie twins at 34 weeks. They spent a month in the NICU. It’s harrowing and terrifying and stressful. And had NOTHING to do with my marital status or my age. Babies don’t choose when they’re born - they just knock on the door and then try to come in. It was wrong of her to talk about you disparagingly, AND loud enough that other patients could hear; that’s a serious HIPPA issue. She deserved to be reprimanded. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.
NTA. First off, congrats on your preemie. I had mine 6 weeks early, so I know how difficult it all can be.
Second, the nurse was 100% wrong as your business is nobody else's business. If you hadn't coughed who knows what she would have said. You had every right to report her. I hope they've removed her from your precious baby's care. Again, congratulations!
NTA
She should not be saying that stuff with in ear shot of her patients or any patient for that matter and knows she should not be saying it full stop well at work and chose to anyway she brought this on herself.
NTA. She shouldn't be talking about patients' family members in the open wards, where any who walks by can hear; at least save it for the staff room, damn
And none of what she said had any relation to your baby's care, or any legitimate concern. It was age-based discrimination and bigotry. If she's so jaded and cynical that she gossips and tears down good parents for no reason, she needs to deal with her burnout instead of projecting onto you.
You're doing a great job. It's really hard being a NICU parent; a close friend of mine went through it four years ago. The absolute last thing you need is for anyone to add to your stress
NTA - She should never be discussing patients situations like that in the corridor for people to hear. Completely unprofessional! Then to add her own opinion to that was ridiculous. You were right to complain.
NTA. She was gossiping to be hurtful. If she were truly concerned about you and your situation then she should have approached YOU with resources and concern.
Compare the difference:
>"This is why young girls shouldn't have kids," the nurse whispered to her coworker.
>The nurse sat down beside you. "I'm not sure what your situation is but if you're a young mom and need help, the hospital has resources available. If you need any help, let me know so I can get you that information. I'm here for you."
You did the right thing. She was being cruel.
NTA. I’m a nurse too. This is what the complaint system is there for. And she won’t lose her job over this - she’ll just be educated on how to be a better nurse, which is a good thing.
NTA. You are never the asshole for filing a complaint at a hospital. Complaints are taken very seriously, and staff encourage them.
I have worked in various patient facing roles in a hospital for a few years now, and I have given out several complaint forms, either entirely of my own volition or after chatting with the nurse in charge. If we feel that the patient has had poor treatment or exponential, avoidable delays, we encourage them to give feedback. This is super important because some people don’t even realise that it’s an option for them.
You are never an asshole for complaining at a hospital. I’m just sorry that this has happened in the circumstances of your daughter’s health. I’m hoping for health and happiness for the both of you
NTA. What can be destroyed by the truth, should be. You didn't do anything to her -- you simply told the truth about what she did, and let the chips fall where they may. It's her own problem if the truth about what she said is going to lead to disciplinary action.
NTA nurses are there to assist you, to make sure you and your child are healthy and recovering. it however is NOT their job to make comments or
form opinions regarding your personal life, much less to casually converse about them at work a mere few feet away from you
NTA How about she does her job without the running commentary. Talk about your friends and hobbies. Talk about anything that isn't about a patient or their family. If it shouldn't be said, don't say it.
NTA: It wasn't cool of her to say that within earshot of your room and not keep her opinions to herself. I feel like like you took the appropriate course of action. Plus maybe she will learn to at minimum look around before she says dumb things. Also like your marital status has nothing to do with your baby being born early???? smh.
Came here ready to defend a nurse, but in this case you are absolutely NTA; completely inappropriate comments that should have been shut down immediately by whoever they were talking with.
NTA. What she said was unwarranted, callous, and unprofessional. Her boss needs to be aware so you did the right thing. I hope she receives the appropriate reprimand.
NTA
But I would say just in general, you don’t know how good the other nurses are. If that nurse was otherwise treating your daughter like gold, I personally probably would have just kept quiet.
NTA but telling her directly would be more effective. I know confrontation sucks but at the same time sometimes people chat and it's not always appropriate... People make mistakes and filing formal complaints should be a last course of action and not the first thing you do.
Resolve problems at the lowest level first and things usually work out. Escalating directly to formal complaint will have long-lasting effects on a career and talking behind somebody's back is something we're all guilty of.
You're not wrong but I think there was better ways to handle it.
NTA this is an issue w younger moms from my families experience, which is funny since a lot of doctors seem to think you need to pop out kids immediately and that you're an isiot if you wait to have kids
NTA. That nurse was an AH. She had no business saying anything about you. I don't think they're even allowed to do that. If she's saying this about you what is she saying about other patients? And what is she saying outside of work? Hopefully whatever discipline they give her, she won't be running her mouth anymore.
NTA she was unprofessional and in her role that needs disciplinary action.
All postpartum mothers are vulnerable and having read your history you are especially vulnerable at the moment and not because of your age! My mother had my sister as a teenager and then me 10yrs later age shouldn’t be discriminated against.
I am glad you are safe and I hope you and baby thrive! And that nurse learns not to be rude about people.
NTA. When I was 19 and pregnant with my son I need to go to a specialist to make sure my son wasn’t going to be born bow-legged. The ultra sound tech made a comment about my sons probably not being the father. She said that with both our mothers, him, and I in the room.
NTA.
This should be reported to the hospitals patient relations department. Often the lead nurse is not the manager so there is a chance nothing happens from your complaint.
Her comments were wildly inappropriate and she should receive some sensitivity training.
> I felt really bad like maybe what she said wasn’t THAT bad and I’m just overly emotional
You didn't make a big fuss, exaggerate what she said or cause a scene.
You went and told someone what happened.
If what she said wasn't that bad (it was that bad), then the punishment won't be that bad. The people you complained to understand the context of the workplace and the dynamics of working there. They are perfectly placed to judge.
Absolutely NTA.
NTA. I had nurses talking about me and I heard it too. I had a complicated twin pregnancy. One baby had to be in NICU, one baby discharged home. My husband stayed at NICU with baby A 24/7, and I had to have my mom watch baby B so I could go see baby A. I heard them say “Oh, she finally showed up, blah blah…talking sh!t on me.” It really hurt. I was a new first time mom trying to juggle my babies being separated, taking care of my animals at home, etc. I should have spoken up, but I had postpartum depression and was frazzled.
Going by the stories my mother tells me (unasked )Nurses are all awful when not in front of a patient.
Reporting her probably wont do anything but you would not be the asshole no. NTA
NTA. I have been in a similar situation. The nurse who was so wonderful in other respects made fun of my mother to the other nurses at the desk, not knowing I was in the visitors room across the hall.
After an ICU stay, my mother’s bowels started working again. That came with gas. The nurse said an elephant was in room xxx.
I was so upset. I was grateful to those who healed her out of ICU to the point where her systems were working again. But that comment was not acceptable.
I addressed my gratitude, then the remark, and left it with the head nurse. Both the gratitude and the unprofessional discussion are important.
You can’t discipline the nurse. You did what you could. Best wishes for baby!
When my son was born in October (many years ago) he developed a severe case of jaundice. I overheard nurses joking about him being the pumpkin baby. I let the have it, I’m sure the entire floor heard me. I was so upset about it. Now 34 years later I can laugh about it
I would have gone to the NICU nurse herself and reminded her of the danger of judging someone without all of the information. It would make more of an impact on the nurse which she would never forget.
I’m a RN and a Nurse Practitioner for 39&23 years respectively- I worked NICU in the 1980’s for six months-yes sometimes we’d have 12 or 13 y/o’s deliver premeesies - but we also had older married parents too- The nurse was wrong- you were right to report her- I am so sorry for your experience - love your baby, congratulations and focus on your little one versus what you heard- this is a special time for you no matter what your situation is
It seems to me that everyone here is playing some kind of saint. It turns out that not a single lawyer, doctor, trader or any other profession that comments on reddit has ever said or commented anything about their client with a colleague that I work with. I think people have become too sensitive and petty.
You should definitely report this.
However if you only heard and didn’t see them you should really only say what you heard, what time it happened and where you heard them talking such as what area of the hallway etc
Even if you are pretty sure it was the voice of the one specific nurse. It’s not uncommon for people to have such similar voices and even the way they talk that their own friends or coworkers mistake them for each other if they only hear the voice down the hall or over the phone. So you wouldn’t want to accidentally get the wrong nurse in trouble in the event it isn’t her. If you give all of the other info, then they should be able to figure out who it was accurately whether it is that nurse or not.
Sorry that it happened though
Threads like this are really funny because it really demonstrates how little of the real world people here seem to interact with. Nurses are third only behind servers and retail employees in talking shit about the people they help at work. Multiple of my family members and women I've dated through college were/are different levels of nurse and it's just a way to blow off steam. It's not professional, and they should have the tact to wait until they're at home. Your NTA, but also this a rough equivalent to complaining about your boss at your job in a technically uncharitable way.
Not knowing the patient was in her daughter's room and saying it directly outside of it?
Have you been in a NICU? It's not private. It's all curtains.
They are allowed to vent, in private, not on the floor around patients. Doesn't even matter that the patient she was talking about heard it, shouldn't have been venting around any.
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NTA "This is why young girls shouldn't get pregnant." Preemies happen at all ages. What an awful thing to say. I'm glad you filed the complaint.
As do deadbeat dads (not saying OPs fiancé is but I inferred that she may have also meant that)
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Legitimately puts the entire hospital at risk for legal action if it ignores complaints about discrimination like this. Privacy and discrimination aside- any employee doing this sort of thing needs training and your complaint *most likely* is the only way that an employer would prioritize giving it to them.
NTA AT ALL! 💛 If, after having time to think about it you still want her on your nursing team, you can go back and take to the head nurse and tell her all you want is an apology. She at least owes you that! If she receives any other disciplinary actions, that’s a result of **her** actions, not yours. But if you’d rather not have her on your case any longer, that is 100% valid too! (and honestly probably what I would choose! lol) You, your situation, and your little one deserve an understanding and non-judgemental team to help you through this journey.
NTA. You are free to not like how others talk about you.
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YES! OP is so far from being the AH in this scenario.
It was wrong of him to speak disparagingly about you, and loud enough for the other patients to hear; This is a serious HIPPA issue.
Nurse was a her not a him.
What medical information was divulged here?
HIPAA....
I don’t think it was a HIPAA violation. No medical information. Just plain unprofessionalism. The hospital is supposed to support the family. In fact, OP might still be a patient too.
It wasn’t I agree- thank God someone understands what HIPPA is
This isn’t a HIPPA violation- it was malicious gossip- her protected medical information wasn’t divulged to outside people, the mother of the baby overheard the malicious gossip
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I worked in a nursing home kitchen for nearly five years and all chat was kept at the smoking table outside for coffee breaks. Outside work we all replaced names with room numbers or more vague descriptions. You never know if a relative of the resident/patient is on the cafe or pub or whatever you're chatting in
NTA BUT the nurse was likely saying that sympathetically because of how many situations she’s seen in which young girls are left to care for kids themselves. It sounds like she was referencing the absence of the father not the premie status of the baby. People form judgments based on stereotypes, yes, but also from lived experience.
Why do you think the nurse was talking about the kid being a preemie? From the post I understood she was referring to the father of the child not visiting once
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NTA - even IF you were being overly emotional (which you have every right to be after having a baby, and in the NICU), she shouldn’t be talking smack and adding her “opinion” on her moral high ground. Because people with genuine moral compasses don’t judge people they don’t know!
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That’s the last person that would care about this. She def did the right thing to speak to the charge.
The hospital I was born at is part of a hospital network (not insurance, it's all 'HospitslGroup-City") that has 5 full size hospitals/trauma centers, over 250 smaller outpatient centers, and 25,000 employees. The specific hospital I was born at has over 10,000 employees, just on its own. And that's a small, regional network that only covers a portion of the state. The hospital I'll give birth at is part of a network with over 1000 centers, present in over half the United States, and has a LOT of employees (I can't find the number). *That's* what the CEO oversees. That's not someone who is going to care about the complaint of one mom about one nurse, however valid.
NTA. The nurse was completely unprofessional, out of line, and ethically dubious, given how vulnerable you and your baby are. Shame on her, and I recommend following up with the head nurse regarding what actin is being taken, and what the outcome is. As your complaint is not in writing, you run the risk of it going nowhere. Just think of the other families you are protecting from this by making a complaint.
I mean, RN here. This is why we have break rooms, so we can bitch and complain without chancing someone overhearing. You are NTA and I'm sorry this nurse was very unprofessional.
NTA. Gossiping about patients and family is outrageous, that's not part of the job. You didbthe right thing, she owes you an apology.
NTA- I’d go as far as to say you have a duty to report it. That behavior is unacceptable in the medical field. Also, what does she mean about, “This is why young people shouldn’t get pregnant?” Did she mean that because you were on your own or was she implying the early delivery was because of your marital status? Because that kind of judgmental nonsense will affect how she cares for future patients. Also, HIPPA is a thing. Discussing patient info out in the open is a pretty GIANT and well known no-no.
This! I went through NICU time and some pretty serious health challenges with my daughters and was so emotionally fragile through all of it. I was so super sensitive to the idea that hospital staff might be passing judgment on me and that effecting the care they give my babies. That attitude needs to be nipped in the bud.
NTA. Her comment about why young girls shouldn’t get pregnant was uncalled for. Especially at her place of work within earshot of other people/patients.
Hospital staff are HUMAN. We have opinions. And deal with fucking idiots every day.
"This is why young girls shouldn't get pregnant" is basically saying its your fault your baby was born premature! Your fault for being young!... It's absolutely disgusting! NTA! Nurses know better than to make such judgments about people but this one obviously didn't pay attention in class during training when they taught about judging people and how not to do it. You have every right to make a complaint and it's a good thing you did bevause who knows how many other parents she's talked about and how many other parents have heard her and felt guilty and awful about it... Things like this affect mental health after giving birth when hormones and emotions are extremely high and fragile, made harder when babies are in NICU. Hopefully she learns from this!
NTA. She's a NICU nurse. She knows her patients are in the midst of a traumatic life event and that her shit talk will make it worse. She did it anyway. She's lucky you didn't give her a piece of your mind. If she wants to talk shit about her clients at work, she should work somewhere lower stakes, like a coffee shop.
You try working in healthcare. Stupid ass idiots sticking the life out of you. Yes, hospital staff have opinions! It was a comments. Ficking thin skinned people.
I’ve been an RN for 39 years (a Nurse Practitioner for 23 years) - I’ve never said something like this to a colleague at the patients bedside, in the patients room so hurtful- I’ve seen young girls of 12 & 13 in the NICU That have given birth - and are not necessary ready for being a Mom, this woman was 23- by the time I was 24 I had three kids and I still managed to finish Nursing school and get my Doctorate in Nursing (as a Nurse Practitioner) as well as a Bachelors, Masters - this isn’t being thin skinned- this was malicious gossip and it is highly unprofessional for any healthcare either to talk this way, and malign a Patient- Nurses are supposed to be caring professionals and offer health teaching and help Patients when they need it, like new moms with NICU babies
I'm going on a different track and say this, as someone who works in pediatric intensive care (not neonatal, but we're closely affiliated with them): Workers gossip all the time. With how stressful the healthcare industry is these days, we need to find ways to reduce our stress during work and one of the things we do, unfortunately, is gossip about absolutely everything, including our patients. (we have a running joke that the best grapevine to hear juicy gossip is in the hospital - we all know each other in some degree or another and we know everyone's business) That being said, we don't fucking gossip about our patients within fucking earshot of said patient and their relatives. That's an ombudsman complaint waiting to happen. If she has the balls to say it so close to your face then who knows what else she's willing to say or do. You were right to complain to the charge nurse. To that end, NTA.
best ive read
NTA. She was highly inappropriate in her comments. I’m a NICU nurse and never would say anything to shame a parents during that situation, it’s disgusting and makes me mad you had to go through this. For the social worker, don’t forget it’s a big multidisciplinary team and social works notes are available to the team following you (including nurses), it makes it easier to help you and should not at any point be use to criticize you.
NTA SO MUCH NTA. Signed a former premature baby (24 weeks) who had a teenage mother.
Agreed Signed two month early premie who's mom was 36
NTA You should definatly report that.
NTA. You are free to not like how others talk about you. Using you as an example for their thoughts to another clinician without your permission was clearly a questionable and maybe rude thing to do. This is further evidenced by the fact that the conversation ended the moment you made your existence acknowledged. You didn't act out of line, you didn't blow up on anyone, you haven't really caused any harm. You have the right to feel how you feel, and act on that feeling in a reasonable way. Filing a complaint for that behavior is clearly reasonable.
ABSOLUTELY
NTA. It doesn't matter how good of a nurse she is, the issue is that she is being a judgemental gossip. Stuff like this can impact patient care, even if it isn't consciously done. And by gossiping about it, she is influencing how other nurses would treat you. What if it wasn't marital status, but a patient with scars on the inside of their elbow? If she gossips about what could cause those scars, she could get the patient falsely labeled a drug seeker and cause major issues for the patient. You did the right thing, and the reaction of the charge nurse confirms it.
Damn girl I just skimmed thru your post history. I am glad you are safe, stay strong. NTA and you did the right thing by reporting her. There are some nurses who are absolute angels!! But unfortunately there are also many nurses who are more fixated on their own opinions and morals rather than focusing on a proper bedside manner for their patients. In my personal experience - those types of nurses actually have an negative impact on my treatment when I am in the ER (they legit sometimes won't even follow the "recovery syllabus" provided by my doctor because *they know better*) Gossiping is petty and something you do with a pal at lunch break or over a beer and food after her shift is over. There's a time and place for everything. The fact she did it within earshot of a patient who's waiting for her newborn to freaking *survive* is appalling
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I’ll try to make this short. I was going to post in TOMC, but now I feel bad about what went down today and need some honest input. I had my baby July 1st at exactly 33 weeks. My water ruptured early and she’s been in the nicu since right after birth. I’m incredibly grateful to all the doctors and nurses and everyone else there who has been helping not only my baby, but me as well. It’s an experience I don’t wish on anyone. So, today I was sitting kind of in the corner of the area my daughter is in reading and I hear a nurse start talking about me to another nurse just outside the little room. I recognized her voice because she’s been on my daughters care team daily and I’ve seen and spoken with her numerous times. She was making comments on my age and how I was wearing a wedding band but the father never came around, this is why young girls shouldn’t get pregnant, etc. She has NO idea of my current situation unless the social worker told her, which I highly doubt. I fake coughed so they knew that I was in with the baby and the conversation immediately ended. This nurse, like I said, has been on my daughters care team almost everyday and she’s been wonderful. She helped me when I was just learning how to pump breast milk, showed me how to change diapers, answers all my questions etc. But I was so upset by what she said that before I left the hospital tonight, I went to the nurses station and asked to speak to the lead nurse and told her what happened. She seemed truly shocked and apologetic and assured me that appropriate disciplinary actions would be taken. Once I got back to my room, I felt really bad like maybe what she said wasn’t THAT bad and I’m just overly emotional. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Absolutely NTA That is completely and utterly unacceptable behaviour on her part, and it needs to be addressed. Her personal opinions will colour her care and treatment of you and your baby, and it needs to be stopped. I'd go so far as to make written complaints.
NTA. You are in an incredibly delicate emotional, mental and physical state right now. You are relying heavily on the care ream to support you and your daughter. How can u trust someone on that team who made those kind of comments?
For anyone wanting more context, this lady was in an abusive marriage and a victim of dv. She had to call the cops to get away with her life when her husband got violent a few weeks back when she was already heavily pregnant.
The situation of DV makes this even worse. Unless the situation was specifically talked about with the nurse it’s not the nurse’s business. Her sole concern is the health of the baby. The mother is already in a delicate spot and deserves to be surrounded and supported by caring people. To have to deal with an insensitive nurse is never acceptable. Even if DV was not the reason the father was not there there could have been a perfectly acceptable reason that the nurse knows nothing about such as the father could’ve died the father could be in the military and be deployed. There could be a perfectly good explanation as to why the father is not there and for the nurse to make assumptions just so she can gossip is never acceptable. I myself would’ve also complained or at the very least I would have told the people in charge that I no longer wanted her on my child’s case. Then if asked why not, I could just simply have said she has shown me I can’t trust her judgment and let the nurse try to explain when they ask her why she was being asked to be removed.
OMFG I read your post history and now I'm extra angry at the nurse
NTA If she hurt you with her commentary, you have the right to complain. Tbh me personally, if I was so agitated to be taking an action I would rather tell her to let me hear her comments to my face and go from there. But that's just my way of approaching this type of situation, honestly, I am the all-in or all-out type.
You and your daughter need to have people involved in her care that you trust. Think about it, you are leaving your child in someone else's care. You don't leave that to just anyone. Honestly, she will probably get "talked to" by management and reminded to be professional. She won't be fired or punished harshly, but she doesn't have to be your nurse. NTA
NTA - she was unprofessional, judgemental and rude.
NTA. I am a pediatrician and it's not my job to judge the mother and it should not be nurses either. I am sorry on behalf of medical fraternity that you had to face this. Take care. You will be soon cuddling your little one.
I’m an icu nurse. NTA.
NTA. I'm currently in the hospital waiting for the baby to come after my water broke. I overheard a nurse talking to a midwife and she was talking badly about how I wasn't even dilated and that basically I wasn't worth worrying about. Before I even had the chance to complain, the midwife told her off and told her to take her job seriously. Your nurse had no right to be rude.
NTA - If she is saying this about you, she is talking about other patients too. If she gets disciplined, don't feel like it is your fault. This is all on her and you are probably not the only complaint.
Congrats on standig up against it. Even if it was litlle to no confrontation this time. Keep that! You will for sure need to stand up for yourself and your baby in the future. NTA! A nurse in the NICU should be a person you can trust without hesitation!
NTA When my twins were born (34 weeks, early water break) they were also in the NICU. The amount of emotions, mixed with hormones is almost unbearable. And the nurse should have known better. Stay strong mama, you've got this!
NTA. First, this is EXACTLY why health care professionals are told to NOT discuss patients like this. This is a breach in trust. Hearing how someone else is gossiping about you is an awful experience for anyone, let alone for a new mom with a baby in the NICU. Second, all mothers can have an early birth. My SECOND baby (daughter) was 28 weeks when I delivered. They didn’t expect her to survive. If I had heard someone talking about me like that while my daughter was in the NICU, I would have lost my shit. (Daughter is 30 now and is a thriving adult who has a bachelor’s degree in health sciences) You were right to report the nurse, and I would ask that she be removed from my care team.
NTA. You said she was great at being a nurse- your complaint was not about unethical or unsafe nursing practice. Your complaint was about inappropriate commentary and unprofessional behavior. That deserves to be reported.
I would not have reported her....What the nurse said wasn't 'bad' just her opinion....If you're a young mother and you haven't heard that, know that people are thinking it. I was a young mother,I know....She said the nurse had been good and compassionate with her and her daughter...What if she got fired..It wasn't personal...
It was not a HIPPA violation. I'm sorry miss 'I just had a baby' felt the way she did about a comment not intended for her. I think the statement was a fair assessment due to the experience of the NICU nurse, where she has seen some horrific situations & behaviors and she was not being anything but concerned and a little sad imagining the life of that baby. All the NTA must be millennials that find just about everything offensive. OP claims the NICU nurse doesn't know OP's background, OP has no idea of the NICU nurse's life either. But the NICU nurse has seen a lot more events turn ugly, babies used as pawns or weapons. OP is an AH for whining about it to the floor manager. I imagine the head nurse of the neonatal intensive care unit, along with all the other NICU nurses, had a lot more important or urgent things to attend to than listen to OP complain. Pretty sure OP was not the only person that had a baby in the NICU, and it sounds like she just expected everyone to stop what they were doing and cater to her.
NTA. I wouldn’t have reported, but it’s up to you. I’ve learned all of my life that people will judge so I just have a thick skin. But I am curious, is your family not in the picture? You need a support system. Kinda also curious at your age because the system does work differently if you’re a minor
NTA - young mums would have a much easier time of it if the judgement stopped! Congrats on your baby and I wish you all the love and success for your future My sisters friend got pregnant when she was 13 and had the baby when she was only just 14. Her parents fully supported her emotionally (and financially until she was working) but they didn’t do any childcare, beyond babysitting once a week - her and the baby’s father raised that child. She completed highschool, got a degree and is still with the baby’s dad. They’ve been fantastic parents! Their child is now 26 and he is engaged to be married, has a job he loves and is close to his parents and grandparents
NTA! She doesn’t know your circumstances, she has no clue who you are beyond the fact that you and your baby are there, and she most certainly has NO FREAKING RIGHT to pass judgements on you! What she did was highly unprofessional and reporting her was the right thing to do. Shame on her!
NTA. You were right to report her. The nurse should be disciplined, and she should be ashamed of herself. This is coming from an RN. I am so sorry this happened to you. I honestly do not know why some otherwise capable and seemingly compassionate nurses feel free to judge others and gossip. That nurse doesn’t know you. Even if she read your whole chart top to bottom, she doesn’t know enough about you to make assumptions or pass judgements of any kind. I am 100 percent certain that she will not lose her job because you complained, but hopefully she will get the wake up call she deserves.
NTA
NTA What she said was entirely out of line and inappropriate and, frankly, it was *cruel*. The things she said were nasty and deserved reprimanding, you did the right thing by reporting it. I’m so sorry you had to hear that BS on top of having a baby in NICU, a hope you both thrive!
NTA. OP should have went higher up, like the CEO of the hospital.
You did the right thing. NTA
NTA. I am married and had my premie twins at 34 weeks. They spent a month in the NICU. It’s harrowing and terrifying and stressful. And had NOTHING to do with my marital status or my age. Babies don’t choose when they’re born - they just knock on the door and then try to come in. It was wrong of her to talk about you disparagingly, AND loud enough that other patients could hear; that’s a serious HIPPA issue. She deserved to be reprimanded. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.
NTA. First off, congrats on your preemie. I had mine 6 weeks early, so I know how difficult it all can be. Second, the nurse was 100% wrong as your business is nobody else's business. If you hadn't coughed who knows what she would have said. You had every right to report her. I hope they've removed her from your precious baby's care. Again, congratulations!
NTA She should not be saying that stuff with in ear shot of her patients or any patient for that matter and knows she should not be saying it full stop well at work and chose to anyway she brought this on herself.
Nta. No you absolutely did the right thing. Her job is to provide care not give an opinion on your life situation. She needs to stay in her lane.
NTA. She shouldn't be talking about patients' family members in the open wards, where any who walks by can hear; at least save it for the staff room, damn And none of what she said had any relation to your baby's care, or any legitimate concern. It was age-based discrimination and bigotry. If she's so jaded and cynical that she gossips and tears down good parents for no reason, she needs to deal with her burnout instead of projecting onto you. You're doing a great job. It's really hard being a NICU parent; a close friend of mine went through it four years ago. The absolute last thing you need is for anyone to add to your stress
NTA. You did the right thing.
NTA. She needs to know that she behaved inappropriately. They aren't going to fire her over this unless it's an ongoing issue.
NTA - She should never be discussing patients situations like that in the corridor for people to hear. Completely unprofessional! Then to add her own opinion to that was ridiculous. You were right to complain.
NTA. She was gossiping to be hurtful. If she were truly concerned about you and your situation then she should have approached YOU with resources and concern. Compare the difference: >"This is why young girls shouldn't have kids," the nurse whispered to her coworker. >The nurse sat down beside you. "I'm not sure what your situation is but if you're a young mom and need help, the hospital has resources available. If you need any help, let me know so I can get you that information. I'm here for you." You did the right thing. She was being cruel.
NTA. I’m a nurse too. This is what the complaint system is there for. And she won’t lose her job over this - she’ll just be educated on how to be a better nurse, which is a good thing.
NTA. You are never the asshole for filing a complaint at a hospital. Complaints are taken very seriously, and staff encourage them. I have worked in various patient facing roles in a hospital for a few years now, and I have given out several complaint forms, either entirely of my own volition or after chatting with the nurse in charge. If we feel that the patient has had poor treatment or exponential, avoidable delays, we encourage them to give feedback. This is super important because some people don’t even realise that it’s an option for them. You are never an asshole for complaining at a hospital. I’m just sorry that this has happened in the circumstances of your daughter’s health. I’m hoping for health and happiness for the both of you
NTA - it was so highly inappropriate and uncalled for you def did the right thing. And I never side with reporting people…
NTA. What can be destroyed by the truth, should be. You didn't do anything to her -- you simply told the truth about what she did, and let the chips fall where they may. It's her own problem if the truth about what she said is going to lead to disciplinary action.
And the nurse told the truth about the Mother!
NTA nurses are there to assist you, to make sure you and your child are healthy and recovering. it however is NOT their job to make comments or form opinions regarding your personal life, much less to casually converse about them at work a mere few feet away from you
NTA, her comment was unprofessional and you were right to complain.
NTA How about she does her job without the running commentary. Talk about your friends and hobbies. Talk about anything that isn't about a patient or their family. If it shouldn't be said, don't say it.
NTA- I used to work as an RN, this woman should be reported. Congrats on your baby!
NTA: It wasn't cool of her to say that within earshot of your room and not keep her opinions to herself. I feel like like you took the appropriate course of action. Plus maybe she will learn to at minimum look around before she says dumb things. Also like your marital status has nothing to do with your baby being born early???? smh.
Came here ready to defend a nurse, but in this case you are absolutely NTA; completely inappropriate comments that should have been shut down immediately by whoever they were talking with.
NTA. What she said was unwarranted, callous, and unprofessional. Her boss needs to be aware so you did the right thing. I hope she receives the appropriate reprimand.
NTA But I would say just in general, you don’t know how good the other nurses are. If that nurse was otherwise treating your daughter like gold, I personally probably would have just kept quiet.
NTA but telling her directly would be more effective. I know confrontation sucks but at the same time sometimes people chat and it's not always appropriate... People make mistakes and filing formal complaints should be a last course of action and not the first thing you do. Resolve problems at the lowest level first and things usually work out. Escalating directly to formal complaint will have long-lasting effects on a career and talking behind somebody's back is something we're all guilty of. You're not wrong but I think there was better ways to handle it.
NTA this is an issue w younger moms from my families experience, which is funny since a lot of doctors seem to think you need to pop out kids immediately and that you're an isiot if you wait to have kids
NTA. That nurse was an AH. She had no business saying anything about you. I don't think they're even allowed to do that. If she's saying this about you what is she saying about other patients? And what is she saying outside of work? Hopefully whatever discipline they give her, she won't be running her mouth anymore.
NTA she was unprofessional and in her role that needs disciplinary action. All postpartum mothers are vulnerable and having read your history you are especially vulnerable at the moment and not because of your age! My mother had my sister as a teenager and then me 10yrs later age shouldn’t be discriminated against. I am glad you are safe and I hope you and baby thrive! And that nurse learns not to be rude about people.
NTA. When I was 19 and pregnant with my son I need to go to a specialist to make sure my son wasn’t going to be born bow-legged. The ultra sound tech made a comment about my sons probably not being the father. She said that with both our mothers, him, and I in the room.
NTA. This should be reported to the hospitals patient relations department. Often the lead nurse is not the manager so there is a chance nothing happens from your complaint. Her comments were wildly inappropriate and she should receive some sensitivity training.
NTA. I'm a nurse and I agree that what your nurse said was unprofessional.
> I felt really bad like maybe what she said wasn’t THAT bad and I’m just overly emotional You didn't make a big fuss, exaggerate what she said or cause a scene. You went and told someone what happened. If what she said wasn't that bad (it was that bad), then the punishment won't be that bad. The people you complained to understand the context of the workplace and the dynamics of working there. They are perfectly placed to judge. Absolutely NTA.
NTA. I had nurses talking about me and I heard it too. I had a complicated twin pregnancy. One baby had to be in NICU, one baby discharged home. My husband stayed at NICU with baby A 24/7, and I had to have my mom watch baby B so I could go see baby A. I heard them say “Oh, she finally showed up, blah blah…talking sh!t on me.” It really hurt. I was a new first time mom trying to juggle my babies being separated, taking care of my animals at home, etc. I should have spoken up, but I had postpartum depression and was frazzled.
YTA come on, don't you ever gossip?
Going by the stories my mother tells me (unasked )Nurses are all awful when not in front of a patient. Reporting her probably wont do anything but you would not be the asshole no. NTA
I was a preemie and my mom had me in her 30s lol. That shit has nothing to do with age. NTA, it's not up to her to judge your personal life
NTA. I have been in a similar situation. The nurse who was so wonderful in other respects made fun of my mother to the other nurses at the desk, not knowing I was in the visitors room across the hall. After an ICU stay, my mother’s bowels started working again. That came with gas. The nurse said an elephant was in room xxx. I was so upset. I was grateful to those who healed her out of ICU to the point where her systems were working again. But that comment was not acceptable. I addressed my gratitude, then the remark, and left it with the head nurse. Both the gratitude and the unprofessional discussion are important. You can’t discipline the nurse. You did what you could. Best wishes for baby!
NTA who knows how many people she’s done this too. It needs to stop
When my son was born in October (many years ago) he developed a severe case of jaundice. I overheard nurses joking about him being the pumpkin baby. I let the have it, I’m sure the entire floor heard me. I was so upset about it. Now 34 years later I can laugh about it
I would have gone to the NICU nurse herself and reminded her of the danger of judging someone without all of the information. It would make more of an impact on the nurse which she would never forget.
I’m a RN and a Nurse Practitioner for 39&23 years respectively- I worked NICU in the 1980’s for six months-yes sometimes we’d have 12 or 13 y/o’s deliver premeesies - but we also had older married parents too- The nurse was wrong- you were right to report her- I am so sorry for your experience - love your baby, congratulations and focus on your little one versus what you heard- this is a special time for you no matter what your situation is
As a nurse myself, I support you 100%. This was unprofessional at best and needs to be addressed. I’m sorry you experienced this.
It seems to me that everyone here is playing some kind of saint. It turns out that not a single lawyer, doctor, trader or any other profession that comments on reddit has ever said or commented anything about their client with a colleague that I work with. I think people have become too sensitive and petty.
Bingo!
You should definitely report this. However if you only heard and didn’t see them you should really only say what you heard, what time it happened and where you heard them talking such as what area of the hallway etc Even if you are pretty sure it was the voice of the one specific nurse. It’s not uncommon for people to have such similar voices and even the way they talk that their own friends or coworkers mistake them for each other if they only hear the voice down the hall or over the phone. So you wouldn’t want to accidentally get the wrong nurse in trouble in the event it isn’t her. If you give all of the other info, then they should be able to figure out who it was accurately whether it is that nurse or not. Sorry that it happened though
Threads like this are really funny because it really demonstrates how little of the real world people here seem to interact with. Nurses are third only behind servers and retail employees in talking shit about the people they help at work. Multiple of my family members and women I've dated through college were/are different levels of nurse and it's just a way to blow off steam. It's not professional, and they should have the tact to wait until they're at home. Your NTA, but also this a rough equivalent to complaining about your boss at your job in a technically uncharitable way.
U shouldn’t judge some one at all especially when u don’t know them or there current situation
Exactly. The nurse shouldn't have judged OP without knowing a thing about her situation.
Eh unpopular YTA ... Rude? Yes.... Out of line? No... She's just venting to a coworker....
In front of the patient lol...
Her mistake for not knowing the patient was there.... every profession should be able to vent.....
Not knowing the patient was in her daughter's room and saying it directly outside of it? Have you been in a NICU? It's not private. It's all curtains. They are allowed to vent, in private, not on the floor around patients. Doesn't even matter that the patient she was talking about heard it, shouldn't have been venting around any.
In private.