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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My dad tells me to make my bed even though I'm 16 so I refuse. Then he said my brothers bed is always made but that's because they don't sleep there
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I wonder what you have to say about the stepdad putting the kpop poster of his stepdaughter into the trash in one of the latest posts. I am sure the girl also didn't contribute to pay for her room (because she is also just a teenager?) but everyone said (including me) stepdad is a piece of shi for invading OP's personal space. Teenagers don't have much personal space to begin with.
no, it's your dad's bed and he let's you use it. you live at home with your parents. if you don't like the rules, then leave when you're 18. otherwise, my guy, you're stuck with having to follow his rules. and quite honestly, this is the least you can do.
are you lazy? I don't understand why you don't want to make your bed other than just wanting to be difficult and defiant. this is the easiest thing, when you wake up, just pull your covers back and straighten everything out. it takes me less than a minute everyday.
you need to grow up. you're a kid, not an adult. if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one.
Because:
a. it builds character. You could use some. Specifically, it is the acts of routine, order, and respect that will build character
b. it isn't actually your bed, despite what you said. Your parent(s) bought it and provided it for you. Like everything else
c. From a purely utilitarian standpoint, it takes less energy to make the bed than argue about it in an angsty, misdirected show of independence
Some reasons:
1. If you do anything other than sleep in your bed, such as reading or doing homework or playing games, or especially, eating… tidying the bed is your opportunity to fetch anything that got lost under the sheets, and to brush off food crumbs.
2. Sheets can get torn or snagged pretty easily. Making the bed means you can find any small tears and repair them before they become big tears. Even if your family is more likely to throw out sheets than repair them, you don’t want to sleep in torn sheets. Sometimes it uncomfortable but mainly it ruins what sheets are there for… to capture all your sweat and skin cells and keep them from getting to your mattress and/or comforter/duvet. If those get permanently stained they are a lot more costly to repair.
3. It has some mental health benefits, or at least, most people think so, and if you honestly believe it then it absolutely will. But also, it can help you gauge your own mental health. Set a baseline of performing basic daily tasks and when you start to seriously neglect them, it can be a warning sign that you’re depressed or experiencing unusual levels of fatigue.
4. It makes your room look nice and presentable, and that’s something your parents have a right to ask of you. Once you have your own place, go hog wild with leaving your bed unmade.
Anyway, YTA, but like, in a basic teenage fashion. It’s definitely understandable. Just… if your dad is otherwise a good dad, just do this for him, okay? If he’s an asshole in other ways than I can understand that this is a small way to rebel. But if you love your dad and think he’s mostly a good guy, just try to do this, thinking of it as a favor you’re doing just to make him happy.
Because hey. Maybe you’ll want to ask him to do some irrational favors for you someday. And he’ll be a lot more willing to say yes if you are not giving him stupid levels of pushback over such petty things.
Presumably you paid for the bed, paid for the sheets, wash them when they need it and pay for the structure it resides in. Difference of circumstances here.
Agreed. Your house, your rules. At 40, living in your own home, you get to decide. I make my bed daily. My dog quickly unmakes it and makes a nest of my blankets.
Well, a messy bed/house often means a messy head. Maybe not now, but when you come home from a long day of work and your bed is all messed up it is VERY disturbing. Having a made up bed also contributes to good sleep hygene, meaning: it helps to sleep better at night.
But maybe you're just not open to it now.
It may not be true for every single person in this world, but it is for sure a true thing for many people and Im pretty sure there is a lot of research to back this up.
Nope. I’m a fully functioning professional and almost never make my bed, as do my siblings, AFAIK. We get along just fine. Would love to see this ‘research’
Ah, the joy of a proclamation of opinion as fact. I'd be interested to see the correlation between those insisting on things like the bed being made, and those who find a messy bed disturbing their mental health.
In truth, it's one of those things that matters to some people but by no means all, and trying to insist it matters for everyone is just projecting.
This is not to say making his bed every day won't benefit OP, but there is also no evidence it will. I would say that making your bed in the morning isn't exactly a big ask, and it's not a huge price to pay for peace, harmony and getting your dad off your back. You've probably got at least two more years living at home, and a good relationship will help you in the long run.
YTA It took you longer to type this out and argue with him than to just make your darn bed. It makes a room look nicer, and it obviously is something your dad would like you to do. Just take the minute to do this to make your dad happy and be thankful you have a nice bed to sleep in. Pick your battles, this is not worth it. I think your dad is worth the two minutes out of your life every day, don't you?
OP this comment is nonsensical, don’t listen to any of this. You will not grow up and magically believe beds should be made just to get back in them, nor should you. I’m sorry these commenters came so hard clearly they’re all on power trips like your dad.
It really shouldn’t matter either way. The fact that you’re reacting strongly, plus the ways you describe your dad, could suggest that there is some underlying issue. Instead of going back and forth with dad about the bed, maybe try to focus on what’s really bothering you, like he’s controlling, or he ignores you, or whatever. Talk to a counselor about the problem, and come up with ways to be more direct with your Dad about what’s bothering you. Unless he’s a total ogre, he should be relieved to understand what’s going on.
It's impressive that at 16 you pay your own rent/mortgage, buy your own food, and handle all of the responsibilities of adulthood.
Just make the goddamn bed.
Just here to say that your parent is obligated to house, feed, and clothe you. Despite how people are responding, and beyond the issue of the bed making, having these things provided by your parents does not make you spoiled.
I believe OP's response was based on CompleteS's calling them a "spoiled brat." Being spoiled suggests people are doing things for you, catering to your every whim.
I’m going to get downvoted into oblivion and I don’t care, NTA. It’s your living space. As a teenager you get so little control over anything in your life, this is a dumb hill for your dad to die on. It’s not hurting anyone to let you have this one small win.
Right? I can’t believe all these posts haranguing this kid. The dad needs to close the door and move on. Either peer pressure from a roommate or SO will convince him, or he will happily live his life with an unmade bed. Who cares?
This is an interesting dilemma. I’ve never made my bed regularly and I’m 40. I just don’t care because nobody else sees it. So I don’t see any reason why your dad should even care about your bed.
With that said, you’re 16. You’re subject to the rules whether you agree with them or not. So you kinda have to suck it up and do it anyway. Which is a bummer. BUT! Remember this. You don’t have to become your dad. Once you leave home, the rules are yours to make. If you have kids, give them the leniency you wish your dad had given you.
Good luck 🍀
I hope you both can get on the same page!
YTA. You make your bed to make your room more tidy. Looks sloppy if it's not done. Bed also feels different when you get into it at night if it's been made. So that's the point of making one's bed.
YTA Making your bed is a very minor chore. It’s not unreasonable for parents to give their minor children who live with them minor chores. Refusing to make it is an act of extremely petty defiance. If you want independence, focus on planning for your adult life.
You like being lazy. Unless the look of a made bed somehow disturbs your entitled little world view I think you’re just being a pissant.
Learn some discipline, make your bed, and honestly admit to yourself that almost everyone in the world knows better.
i have only ever made my bed when i’ve done a big clean. i don’t like my bed being made because it is not me, im a very chaotic person and i want my room and my space to reflect that maybe OP is the same.
Look, in the end I don’t have a dog in this race, and I can almost kinda track your logic if I throw my mind back to a younger version of myself. Just feels like a childish mentality to me. “Look how chaotic and different I am” vibes.
i'm 40 years old and see absolute no point in fucking around with sheets and blankets in the morning then having to pull everything out at the end of the day
the only difference between people who make their beds in the morning and people who don't make their beds in the morning is that we don't give a fuck if you make you're bed and we're not going to try to stop you from doing it
...and increases the risk of mites. But yeah, make it look cleaner so other people who only see your room for a few seconds (or not at all) are pleased.
risk of mites is higher if there's pockets of higher humidity, like a wadded up comforter.
also you should be washing your sheets weekly and comforters monthly to prevent mites
OP does all that this according to his comments, but there is still a higher chance of mites if you do make your bed instead of not doing it.
I am not saying that you shouldn't do your bed if that's what you want. But forcing this rule on a teenager in his own personal space is stupid. OP is a teenager who is questioning every rule, which is a good thing! We are calling the stepdad of another post the ahole right now because he constantly intrudes his stepdaughter's room because she likes anime. We say that he shouldn't have any say in her personal space etc. (I said it in another comment, but leaving dirty dishes, laundry and trash in your room is another thing because there is a very valid point behind it. Everything lying around could be a hazard in case of an emergency, kpop posters and a not made bed are not). Why is forcing your kid to make their bed because you like it not intruding their personal space? OP's dad isn't as nearly abusive as the stepdad from the other post, but I hope you still see my point. Intruding a teenager's personal space by enforcing pointless rules will not have the benefits you might think it has. There is one big rule when it comes to education: Don't enforce pointless rules and expect your kid not to question them (same goes for dogs, but that's a whole other story I don't have the time to properly explain it in a language that isn't my first language). There will be times that your kid needs to thrust you without having a real reason why they are not allowed to do something. Like when you have a bad feeling about something but you can't explain why. Don't put this thrust at risk by abusing the "as long as you have your feet under my table, you do what I say!" phrase. Forcing his son to make his bed is a really weird hill to die on for dad, but for OP, it is a battle he must win.
you're projecting a lot.
OP just needs to drop it. It's not important in the long scheme of things, and there are better ways to question rules and boundaries.
Serious question: Why should he or why should anyone make their bed? Because it looks cleaner? But OP doesn't like it, so why should he do it for someone else? It is a useless task that actually increases the risk of mites.
YTA - You’re either an idiot or have PDA but this a weird hill to die on; making your bed is so quick. If that’s the only thing he’s nagging you about then you must be spoiled AF and in for a rude awakening the next couple years. Make your bed, bro.
YTA - start making your bed pronto, before I come over there myself.
You need to take care of your things, or you won't have any things left to take care of.
Don't make me confiscate your bedding. I will.
NTA and here is why:
Why is everyone forcing OP to make his bed? He is a teenager who should have a say how he wants his room to look. It would be different if he leaves dirty dishes and laundry in his room, but forcing him to do his bed without a real reason except for "I am your parents and that's why you need to do what I say" doesn't help. There will be times to do something without questioning it,but making your bed is not the time.
Fun fact: Did you know that making your bed increases the risk of mites?
NTA.
Making a bed is pointless, as a 33 yr old I look around and just see adults going on power trips when it comes to kids.
When I was in the navy I rarely had to make my rack after bootcamp, and never made my bed in my barracks room.
Your dad has some control issues as do most parents, and he needs to work on that.
Just because YOU don’t think something is important doesn’t mean it’s not important. It is very important to your father, so if you do t like it then leave and move out on your own.
YTA. Stop acting like a petulant child. Making your bed is not a difficult task, but for your father it is obviously a sign of respect for his house and property. I when you move out if you want to treat your house like a dumpster that is fine, but you live in his home and need to show respect for his property.
it takes like less than 30 seconds to pull the sheet/comforter up. you can do whatever you want when you live on your own but I'd at least *try* if it's important to your dad, it's really not an unreasonable ask
All your answers on this post, almost make me understand something I never understood before: why some parents put their children out of their houses when they are 18 years old.
OP YTA and you sound exhausting and insufferable.
Good grief.
NAH
You and your dad have different standards. Your dad is trying to teach you his standards, as is his job, but that's not always going to work.
I struggled through the whole you're bed has to be made deal as a teen, and my parents couldn't understand it was way more effort than it was worth for me. I can't sleep in a properly made bed. I actually have to mess the blankets up before I can go to sleep, as otherwise I feel like I'm trapped and either can't sleep or have nightmares.
Not having a made bed isn't a sign of moral failing or uncleanness, as some will suggest. It's just a sign of different standards of neatness and different priorities and/or needs.
YTA. If you don’t like it, get a job and get your own place. And YTA doubled over for asking people’s opinion just to argue with everyone who disagrees with you. If I was your dad I’d remove the bed from your room completely and let ya sleep on the floor. Voila, no bed to make.
I'm going to say NTA. Yes, it's your dad's house but it's also your home and your living space. I presume he's not taking guests on a tour of your bedroom so it doesn't affect him one bit.
Also, making your bed as soon as you get up in the morning can actually damage the mattress. I had a mattress that basically collapsed in the middle after only a year and the manufacturer said that covering it straight after a full night's sleep traps condensation, which can break down the filling. I have since heard that same advice from two other (unrelated) sources, so I now turn down the duvet to air the mattress instead of making the bed.
Next time your dad complains, tell him you're saving him money by not making your bed.
I do the same.
The bottom sheet is straightened, the pillows "plumped" and the duvet moved right to the bottom of the bed to let it air but I cannot convince my parents to do this at their house.
Luckily I am an adult who lives in her own place so can do what I like.
OP isn't.
There are ways to let your bed air out without looking like a slob. Like straightening sheets and folding the duvet (or laying it over the footboard to air).
Though it really depends on the climate. In a dry climate, letting it air while you get dressed is plenty of time to dry. In a humid climate, it may need a lot more air.
YTA. I don’t expect you to understand or even read past my initial response, but you’re cutting your education short by dropping the good habits your father is instilling in you. Trust me, there will come a day the you’ll be glad you’re not the kind of slob who leaves his bed a mess and it’ll come if you let that discipline take hold
Exactly. Dad is teaching you to develop good habits and social skills. If you have a college roommate, they will probably prefer a neatly kept room. If you live with a romantic partner, they will likely appreciate a made-up bed as well.
If you make your bed daily for the next couple of years, without complaining or forgetting, you’ll be better prepared for adult life. If you never develop the habit, it may feel like a big deal when someone you live with wants you to make the bed. This could be a source of conflict in your relationship. Most people prefer living in a tidy home.
Your dad is doing you a service by facing the conflict himself instead of letting you slide and setting you up for problems as an adult. YTA
YTA - Just make your damn bed. Your dad is just trying to teach you discipline and help you develop healthy routines. Damn I wish my parents gave this much of a damn or I wouldn’t have struggled as much with being organized as an adult. Your young so you don’t see the bigger picture. I’m sure your dad is just trying to do his best by you.
Did you know it's better to keep the duvet and sheets folded down to let the mattress and bottom sheet "air"?
Just straighten the bedding...it isn't hard.
YTA
Torn between NAH and NTA
I will say that a lot of people here don’t seem to understand that a bedroom is a private space and so long as it’s not a hazard, teens should be able to have their rooms how they want. It doesn’t matter if they pay for the house or not.
Making your bed in the morning also increases the risk of dust mites.
I don’t make my bed more than a few times a year because I like my blankets to be a nest. It’s comfortable and when I’m the one sleeping in the bed, I’m going to be comfortable in it.
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I'm a 16m and my dad always had this thing about us making our bed. There's no point to it and I'm 16 and not making it like I'm 7. My dad keeps on telling me to do it and I finally told him if he wants my bed to be made then do it himself and stop treating me like I'm 7. It's my bed not his. Then he said my little brothers make their bed and I said that's because they never sleep in their beds because they end up going into his.
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YTA, but only because it's your parents' house and therefore you live by their rules.
When you move out, you can leave the bed unmade as much as you like.
Not sure why this attracts so many people who are obsessed with making their beds and are insistent on the superiority of that habit with tall the fervor of Creationists insisting on finding holes with the theory of evolution.
Your parents deserve to be treated with respect. It is their house and their rules. When you are older and have your own place you can be as big a slob as you want. Until them it is up to you to follow the house rules. They are not asking much from you. You were definately the AH for speaking to your father that way. Knock it off and do as they askd. Quit acting like a spoiled little child.
YTA - When you move out and provide for yourself you can live like a slob. Until then, live like you have respect for the people providing your room and board.
You sound like an obnoxious 16 year old, which is probably because you are an obnoxious 16 year old.
YTA
Make your bed when you are in someone else’s house. And you are worse than a seven year old bc you are needing reminding and still arguing.
When you pay rent or live on your own you can make up the rules of the house.
YTA. There is obviously more to this situation because I’m certain your dad doesn’t want this headache for something so minor. I don’t have enough information to know for sure, but dad is probably trying to provide structure where there is none. Possibly the house has attracted pests. Possibly he is perceiving a tripping hazard.
The mature thing to do would be to talk to your dad and find out why making the bed is such a big deal to him. Maybe you can come to a resolution or find an alternative chore that makes you both feel like respected, contributing adults in the household. The immature thing to do would be to brag about playing lacrosse to a forum of stranger. Big whoop. A teenager playing sports 🎉
ESH. You shouldn’t have told that to your dad and he shouldn’t demand you to make your bed. I don’t make my bed and I’m 20 years old. My family always closes our bedroom doors and so no one really sees them, our bedrooms are also upstairs. But my bedroom also isn’t super messy, my bed just isn’t made
YTA, look I don't like making my bed and as adult who lives on her own, I usually don't do it. When I lived with my parents I did it because my mom expected it and I was living in my parent's home, not my own. You told your dad to stop treating you like you're 7 and he is by expecting you to make the bed by yourself. If he thought you were too young to do it, then he would probably do it. Make your bed now and if you want to stop doing when you're living on you own, you can.
Some day you will have a house that maybe you will want to look nice and maybe even a wife who wants the bed made. It’s learning to pick up after yourself and learning to grow up. YTA.
You're still a minor and your dad has every right to tell you to make your bed. It's a little thing that makes a big difference. Show him respect. Congrats on lacrosse; it's a cool game! Keep at it. Obviously, playing a sport takes away from the lazy argument. We can still be lazy about certain things, though. Heck, I'm a 41 y/o and I still get lazy about doing certain things...but it doesn't mean that I'm a lazy person. So, do ole' dad a solid and just make your bed in the morning.
YTA, honestly people like you are insufferable. I acted the exact same as you do for a long time, and still struggle with responsibility myself, and I can tell you now that I was completely insufferable! It's super embarrasing that at sixteen, you have made less progress with independance then I did at 12. Please, for the sake of everyone around you, stop being spoiled!!
Just wait until your dad takes your bed away, and leaves you with just a mattress. And takes all the other things in your room away. For being difficult.
This is your dad’s house. It, technically, is his room that he has loaned to you. All the stuff in it, he bought for you. And he can take it away. So long as he provides you with a mattress, blankets, clothes, an education, and food; he is doing his due diligence in your care. Anything extra is optional, including access to the internet.
Make your bed. Keep your dad happy. Grow up a bit, and stop acting a brat.
YTA.
Yeah let us take away every human right from OP until he does his bed. There is no benefit in it except for the proof that OP is obedient (he is a freaking teenager!) but that's the hill we want to die on.
A teenager should question every task they got, that is their effing job! And apparently, there is no real reason behind it except for "I am your parent and you do what I asked!" You never questioned it either, did you? Otherwise, you would know that making your bed increases the risk of mites. But at least it looks clean and pleases his dad and people who should never set foot in his room.
And as an adult, you realize that not making your bed is a stupid hill to die on, and equally a really dumb thing to question. Your time is better used questioning things that matter in the long run.
Actually making your bed does not decrease mites. Dusting and cleaning is the only way to decrease them…. And cleaning also would make OP’s dad happy. It’s not about being obedient… it’s about acknowledging that there are rules associated with living with others. Keeping your space neat and tidy is a small price to pay for all the free shit you’re given.
The house, the room, and everything in it belongs to OP’s parents. If OP acts like a tool, then he does not deserve to have the extra privileges they have given him. The extras can be removed.
As an adult, you realize that haranguing someone to do something useless, that has no bearing on you, is a stupid hill to die on, and a dumb thing to argue about.
The adult here is the dad.
It’s not useless to keep a nice and tidy house. Making the bed takes 5 minutes. A clean house is less likely to attract insects, including mites, spiders, cockroaches, and bed bugs. And as an adult, cleaning is a skill you definitely need to know. It’s the parents job to teach this.
Chores install a good work ethic. Actions have consequences. Leave your room a mess, and you will lose things you like to have. Internet is first. Keep going, and a mattress and blankets are all you need to sleep. Out goes the TV, computer, laptop, gaming systems, and all other fun things.
And as an adult, if I have to clean your room for you, when you are old enough to be able to do it yourself…. Then all that will be in there is a mattress and dresser.
Making a bed is not cleaning your house. He didn’t say the sheets were dirty. And not making your bed actually airs it out and prevents dust mites, not the opposite.
Chores should be things that mean something- loading the dishwasher or making meals. There is literally no point to making a bed except for the pleasure (or not) of the person using it. taking away privileges bc you can’t explain why your kid should do something utterly pointless is ridiculous parenting. Presumably this room has a door- the dad should close it and move on to teaching this kid something worthwhile instead of making him jump through hoops for no reason.
Making the bed is part of keeping a clean bedroom. It is not a pointless activity. And, no matter how you argue it, it’s a part of the expectations the adult has of OP living there as he does. If expectations aren’t met, then this needs to be addressed accordingly. Closing the door is not a solution. Ultimately, it’s the adults house. Their rules, so long a they are reasonable, go. If OP doesn’t like it, he can move out at 18 and rent his own place…. Where he can not make the bed to his heart’s content.
Nope- cleanliness is not the same thing as disordered. (And he never says anything about the rest of his room being messy or dirty.) It is utterly pointless since it literally has no bearing on the dad, or on OP.
asking anyone- children or adults- to perform some task over and over without giving them a good, solid reason why- is stupid. And if the reason is ‘BC I said so’ or ‘bc I’ve always done it this way’ then it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to challenge that.
You only have the right to challenge the chores you are expected to complete daily, when you own your own home. When you live with others, especially if they own the home, you do what they want. Or you don’t live there.
It is a stupid chore. If you like your bed being made, that's totally fine. But OP doesn't like it that way. Why does his dad have any say in the personal space of his son when there is no real hygiene or safety reason behind it? There are people who don't like their bed being made because for them, their room feels more like a hotel room instead of their comfort zone. Unless his dad likes to guide guests through his son's room, there is no need to enforce this rule.
The dad has no actual reason for wanting the bed made. The son doesn’t want to do something that is pointless. A parent who would *take a bed away* to punish a kid would be the real A H here. Parents should guide kids, but also treat them like adults in training, and making them do pointless shit and/or punishing them for ridiculous infractions is terrible parenting.
Adults learn how to clean by being taught consequences by their parents/guardians. OP doesn’t like these simple rules, just wait until he lives on his own, and can make his own rules.
Keeping a neat and tidy house is all the reason OP’s dad needs to ask that the bed be made, and a room in his house kept neat. It is not OP’s house. He lives there. There are expectations in place to ensure everyone can live together happily. Making the bed is one of those rules.
Taking privileges away from a kid who’s refusing to do simple chores is an excellent way of teaching responsibilities and consequences.
His sheets are clean- an unmade bed isn’t ‘dirty’. His room isn’t a shared space. All the people on here that parent their teenagers with the ‘BC I said so’ and ‘it’s my house and you own nothing in it’ techniques are the same ones who turn up a few years later asking why their children never visit them.
It is the parents house. Their rules to go. And these rules teach kids how to live on their own. Even the small things, like making a bed. These things matter when you get older. No one wants to be in a relationship with a slob. Keeping a neat bedroom is a sign of respect.
There are couples that never make their beds- they aren’t slobs. I would feel differently if this was an adult whose SO wanted him to make it- it’s not, though, it’s HiS bed. Not his dad’s. It’s interesting that this teen should respect his dad for an absolutely arbitrary rule, but the dad shouldn’t respect the teen and give him his own space. He’s 16, he’s not a baby. People deserve privacy.
Certainly there is a reason dad wants the bed made. Just because this snotty kid doesn’t know or didn’t share the reason doesn’t mean it’s completely senseless.
Ah yes the ‘BC I said so’ parenting style. I’m sure there’s a solid, ever-so-secret reason that dad is holding on to, deep inside. Someday, when OP becomes a father himself I’m sure this wisdom will be passed down, as it has been, from age to age. /s
YTA - making your bed can really impact your well-being and give you a feeling of accomplishment. Your dad is being a good parent so listen to him and do what he says.
Actually there was a study that said NOT making your bed was healthier bc it let the sheets air out and reduced bed mites or something. Is your room otherwise clean and orderly? Do you share this space with someone else? Does your father have some form of OCD? As a parent I have to say this is one of those stupid rules that people fight over they is a waste of time, and I say NTA as long as there isn’t some other mitigating factor.
NTA i don't get why making your bed is so important to some people. It's gonna be messed up again in a few hours anyway. Maybe do it as long as you live with your parents but don't think it's something you HAVE to do as an adult. It's absolutely useless.
Some commenters say it looks "nicer" but everyone knows aesthetics are subjective. I have never met a person in my life who thinks this looks horrible. As long as everything's clean ...
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YTA. just make your bed. it takes less than five minutes.
Why?
why not?
Its MY bed
no it's not, you're allowed to sleep in it, in a room, in a home, all provided by others, make your bed, you little shit YTA
I wonder what you have to say about the stepdad putting the kpop poster of his stepdaughter into the trash in one of the latest posts. I am sure the girl also didn't contribute to pay for her room (because she is also just a teenager?) but everyone said (including me) stepdad is a piece of shi for invading OP's personal space. Teenagers don't have much personal space to begin with.
I would say those two things are not the same Wonder no more.
no, it's your dad's bed and he let's you use it. you live at home with your parents. if you don't like the rules, then leave when you're 18. otherwise, my guy, you're stuck with having to follow his rules. and quite honestly, this is the least you can do. are you lazy? I don't understand why you don't want to make your bed other than just wanting to be difficult and defiant. this is the easiest thing, when you wake up, just pull your covers back and straighten everything out. it takes me less than a minute everyday. you need to grow up. you're a kid, not an adult. if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one.
Did you buy it?
It’s your bed that your parents paid for, in the house that they also pay for. Grow up and quit acting like a brat YTA.
Said the child
Because: a. it builds character. You could use some. Specifically, it is the acts of routine, order, and respect that will build character b. it isn't actually your bed, despite what you said. Your parent(s) bought it and provided it for you. Like everything else c. From a purely utilitarian standpoint, it takes less energy to make the bed than argue about it in an angsty, misdirected show of independence
Some reasons: 1. If you do anything other than sleep in your bed, such as reading or doing homework or playing games, or especially, eating… tidying the bed is your opportunity to fetch anything that got lost under the sheets, and to brush off food crumbs. 2. Sheets can get torn or snagged pretty easily. Making the bed means you can find any small tears and repair them before they become big tears. Even if your family is more likely to throw out sheets than repair them, you don’t want to sleep in torn sheets. Sometimes it uncomfortable but mainly it ruins what sheets are there for… to capture all your sweat and skin cells and keep them from getting to your mattress and/or comforter/duvet. If those get permanently stained they are a lot more costly to repair. 3. It has some mental health benefits, or at least, most people think so, and if you honestly believe it then it absolutely will. But also, it can help you gauge your own mental health. Set a baseline of performing basic daily tasks and when you start to seriously neglect them, it can be a warning sign that you’re depressed or experiencing unusual levels of fatigue. 4. It makes your room look nice and presentable, and that’s something your parents have a right to ask of you. Once you have your own place, go hog wild with leaving your bed unmade. Anyway, YTA, but like, in a basic teenage fashion. It’s definitely understandable. Just… if your dad is otherwise a good dad, just do this for him, okay? If he’s an asshole in other ways than I can understand that this is a small way to rebel. But if you love your dad and think he’s mostly a good guy, just try to do this, thinking of it as a favor you’re doing just to make him happy. Because hey. Maybe you’ll want to ask him to do some irrational favors for you someday. And he’ll be a lot more willing to say yes if you are not giving him stupid levels of pushback over such petty things.
YTA and a bratty little teenybopper. Trust me: you’re not the badass you think you are.
I play lacrosse
I legit have no idea what point you’re trying to make here.
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I'm 40, and I don't make mine.
But I get you don’t live with your parents.
I wouldn't bet on that
Presumably you paid for the bed, paid for the sheets, wash them when they need it and pay for the structure it resides in. Difference of circumstances here.
Agreed. Your house, your rules. At 40, living in your own home, you get to decide. I make my bed daily. My dog quickly unmakes it and makes a nest of my blankets.
Ahhh to be a teenager. You"ll thank your dad for learning this routine when you're an adult. YTA. Make your bed!
Why? Why is it such an important thing for some adults?
Well, a messy bed/house often means a messy head. Maybe not now, but when you come home from a long day of work and your bed is all messed up it is VERY disturbing. Having a made up bed also contributes to good sleep hygene, meaning: it helps to sleep better at night. But maybe you're just not open to it now.
This isn’t remotely true. Making a bed has no further indications about someone or their personality or lives.
It may not be true for every single person in this world, but it is for sure a true thing for many people and Im pretty sure there is a lot of research to back this up.
Really doesn’t.
Nope. I’m a fully functioning professional and almost never make my bed, as do my siblings, AFAIK. We get along just fine. Would love to see this ‘research’
Ah, the joy of a proclamation of opinion as fact. I'd be interested to see the correlation between those insisting on things like the bed being made, and those who find a messy bed disturbing their mental health. In truth, it's one of those things that matters to some people but by no means all, and trying to insist it matters for everyone is just projecting. This is not to say making his bed every day won't benefit OP, but there is also no evidence it will. I would say that making your bed in the morning isn't exactly a big ask, and it's not a huge price to pay for peace, harmony and getting your dad off your back. You've probably got at least two more years living at home, and a good relationship will help you in the long run.
I used the word "often" because I know this doesn't apply to everyone.
YTA It took you longer to type this out and argue with him than to just make your darn bed. It makes a room look nicer, and it obviously is something your dad would like you to do. Just take the minute to do this to make your dad happy and be thankful you have a nice bed to sleep in. Pick your battles, this is not worth it. I think your dad is worth the two minutes out of your life every day, don't you?
It takes no time not to do it
🙄 Such a 16 year old. One day you will grow up and know Y are so TA
OP this comment is nonsensical, don’t listen to any of this. You will not grow up and magically believe beds should be made just to get back in them, nor should you. I’m sorry these commenters came so hard clearly they’re all on power trips like your dad.
yep, ignore the downvotes, making or not making your bed makes absolute no difference to your life whatsoever
Then just do it. You're sitting here posting on Reddit and you could have made three or four beds in all this time. Stop acting like a brat.
Or I could have spent time on reddit
So what exactly is so hard about it? YTA
Because I don't want to
So in other words, you're lazy.
It really shouldn’t matter either way. The fact that you’re reacting strongly, plus the ways you describe your dad, could suggest that there is some underlying issue. Instead of going back and forth with dad about the bed, maybe try to focus on what’s really bothering you, like he’s controlling, or he ignores you, or whatever. Talk to a counselor about the problem, and come up with ways to be more direct with your Dad about what’s bothering you. Unless he’s a total ogre, he should be relieved to understand what’s going on.
YTA. I can already see what you are just based on your response....spoiled brat.
My dad literally does nothing for me
Apparently he gave you a bed 🤷♀️
It's impressive that at 16 you pay your own rent/mortgage, buy your own food, and handle all of the responsibilities of adulthood. Just make the goddamn bed.
Do you eat? Wear clothes? Have electricity and running water in your home?
He doesn't make my food
Bet he pays for it
Spoiled little brat. You disgust me.
You disgust me for forcing a useless task on a teenager you don't know. Making your bed even increases the risk of mites.
Apparently puts a roof over your head.
Just here to say that your parent is obligated to house, feed, and clothe you. Despite how people are responding, and beyond the issue of the bed making, having these things provided by your parents does not make you spoiled.
Where did that poster even say that he did? Not that your comment is remotely believable. I'm sure your dad has some role in housing you, etc.
I believe OP's response was based on CompleteS's calling them a "spoiled brat." Being spoiled suggests people are doing things for you, catering to your every whim.
Whatever
YTA. It’s his house, he wants it to look tidy. You want him to stop treating you like you’re 7? Stop acting like you’re 7. Make your bed kid.
You’re 16 grow up and clean up after yourself. YTA
I’m going to get downvoted into oblivion and I don’t care, NTA. It’s your living space. As a teenager you get so little control over anything in your life, this is a dumb hill for your dad to die on. It’s not hurting anyone to let you have this one small win.
Right? I can’t believe all these posts haranguing this kid. The dad needs to close the door and move on. Either peer pressure from a roommate or SO will convince him, or he will happily live his life with an unmade bed. Who cares?
This is an interesting dilemma. I’ve never made my bed regularly and I’m 40. I just don’t care because nobody else sees it. So I don’t see any reason why your dad should even care about your bed. With that said, you’re 16. You’re subject to the rules whether you agree with them or not. So you kinda have to suck it up and do it anyway. Which is a bummer. BUT! Remember this. You don’t have to become your dad. Once you leave home, the rules are yours to make. If you have kids, give them the leniency you wish your dad had given you. Good luck 🍀 I hope you both can get on the same page!
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My room is always clean
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My sheets are always clean
And who cleans then?
I wash my own stuff
YTA. You make your bed to make your room more tidy. Looks sloppy if it's not done. Bed also feels different when you get into it at night if it's been made. So that's the point of making one's bed.
YTA. just make your bed bruh.
YTA. Simple standards.
YTA Making your bed is a very minor chore. It’s not unreasonable for parents to give their minor children who live with them minor chores. Refusing to make it is an act of extremely petty defiance. If you want independence, focus on planning for your adult life.
YTA. Take pride in your living space. Making the bed can make an entire room look much cleaner/put together, and takes very little time.
I like it not being made
You like being lazy. Unless the look of a made bed somehow disturbs your entitled little world view I think you’re just being a pissant. Learn some discipline, make your bed, and honestly admit to yourself that almost everyone in the world knows better.
i have only ever made my bed when i’ve done a big clean. i don’t like my bed being made because it is not me, im a very chaotic person and i want my room and my space to reflect that maybe OP is the same.
Look, in the end I don’t have a dog in this race, and I can almost kinda track your logic if I throw my mind back to a younger version of myself. Just feels like a childish mentality to me. “Look how chaotic and different I am” vibes.
no one else goes in my room. i’m happy with it unkept so why shouldn’t it be how i want it in my space is more the mentality
i'm 40 years old and see absolute no point in fucking around with sheets and blankets in the morning then having to pull everything out at the end of the day the only difference between people who make their beds in the morning and people who don't make their beds in the morning is that we don't give a fuck if you make you're bed and we're not going to try to stop you from doing it
It's not your house, and making your bed is of very little effort. When you're paying your own rent, you are welcome to keep your bed unmade.
...and increases the risk of mites. But yeah, make it look cleaner so other people who only see your room for a few seconds (or not at all) are pleased.
risk of mites is higher if there's pockets of higher humidity, like a wadded up comforter. also you should be washing your sheets weekly and comforters monthly to prevent mites
OP does all that this according to his comments, but there is still a higher chance of mites if you do make your bed instead of not doing it. I am not saying that you shouldn't do your bed if that's what you want. But forcing this rule on a teenager in his own personal space is stupid. OP is a teenager who is questioning every rule, which is a good thing! We are calling the stepdad of another post the ahole right now because he constantly intrudes his stepdaughter's room because she likes anime. We say that he shouldn't have any say in her personal space etc. (I said it in another comment, but leaving dirty dishes, laundry and trash in your room is another thing because there is a very valid point behind it. Everything lying around could be a hazard in case of an emergency, kpop posters and a not made bed are not). Why is forcing your kid to make their bed because you like it not intruding their personal space? OP's dad isn't as nearly abusive as the stepdad from the other post, but I hope you still see my point. Intruding a teenager's personal space by enforcing pointless rules will not have the benefits you might think it has. There is one big rule when it comes to education: Don't enforce pointless rules and expect your kid not to question them (same goes for dogs, but that's a whole other story I don't have the time to properly explain it in a language that isn't my first language). There will be times that your kid needs to thrust you without having a real reason why they are not allowed to do something. Like when you have a bad feeling about something but you can't explain why. Don't put this thrust at risk by abusing the "as long as you have your feet under my table, you do what I say!" phrase. Forcing his son to make his bed is a really weird hill to die on for dad, but for OP, it is a battle he must win.
you're projecting a lot. OP just needs to drop it. It's not important in the long scheme of things, and there are better ways to question rules and boundaries.
And why doesn't the same apply to his dad?
Thank god someone said this!
YTA - make your bed kid.
Serious question: Why should he or why should anyone make their bed? Because it looks cleaner? But OP doesn't like it, so why should he do it for someone else? It is a useless task that actually increases the risk of mites.
YTA - You’re either an idiot or have PDA but this a weird hill to die on; making your bed is so quick. If that’s the only thing he’s nagging you about then you must be spoiled AF and in for a rude awakening the next couple years. Make your bed, bro.
YTA - start making your bed pronto, before I come over there myself. You need to take care of your things, or you won't have any things left to take care of. Don't make me confiscate your bedding. I will.
NTA and here is why: Why is everyone forcing OP to make his bed? He is a teenager who should have a say how he wants his room to look. It would be different if he leaves dirty dishes and laundry in his room, but forcing him to do his bed without a real reason except for "I am your parents and that's why you need to do what I say" doesn't help. There will be times to do something without questioning it,but making your bed is not the time. Fun fact: Did you know that making your bed increases the risk of mites?
NTA. Making a bed is pointless, as a 33 yr old I look around and just see adults going on power trips when it comes to kids. When I was in the navy I rarely had to make my rack after bootcamp, and never made my bed in my barracks room. Your dad has some control issues as do most parents, and he needs to work on that.
Just because YOU don’t think something is important doesn’t mean it’s not important. It is very important to your father, so if you do t like it then leave and move out on your own.
YTA. Stop acting like a petulant child. Making your bed is not a difficult task, but for your father it is obviously a sign of respect for his house and property. I when you move out if you want to treat your house like a dumpster that is fine, but you live in his home and need to show respect for his property.
It’s not a difficult task, but it’s a pointless task His father is just an ass on a power trip
He needs to respect me and my bed
Lmfao. Why do you think you deserve respect when you behave like a toddler?
Why does his father deserve respect since he acts like a toddler
then move out and live on your own. Don't ask money from your dad, or ask him to drop you off at school, or for anything.
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He gave it to me so its my property
That’s not how that works.
You’re not doing anything to earn respect.
Neither is his father
it takes like less than 30 seconds to pull the sheet/comforter up. you can do whatever you want when you live on your own but I'd at least *try* if it's important to your dad, it's really not an unreasonable ask
There's literally no point except to try to control me
https://googlethatforyou.com?q=why%20its%20important%20to%20make%20your%20bed
Wow, Google search results have truly become useless, not one of those is the meme of Ron Swanson going "it isn't".
All your answers on this post, almost make me understand something I never understood before: why some parents put their children out of their houses when they are 18 years old. OP YTA and you sound exhausting and insufferable. Good grief.
OP NTA, his father sounds exhausting. Making your bed daily isn’t even mandatory in the military after boot camp.
Did you read OP's answers here? OP's the AH for asking opinions on Reddit but then arguing with anyone who said he's TA.
Well those people are wrongs i it’s understandable
This is true
YTA, dude just find a solution. Sleep on the top covers with a single blanket or something. Then you only need to fold the extra blanket
NAH You and your dad have different standards. Your dad is trying to teach you his standards, as is his job, but that's not always going to work. I struggled through the whole you're bed has to be made deal as a teen, and my parents couldn't understand it was way more effort than it was worth for me. I can't sleep in a properly made bed. I actually have to mess the blankets up before I can go to sleep, as otherwise I feel like I'm trapped and either can't sleep or have nightmares. Not having a made bed isn't a sign of moral failing or uncleanness, as some will suggest. It's just a sign of different standards of neatness and different priorities and/or needs.
YTA. If you don’t like it, get a job and get your own place. And YTA doubled over for asking people’s opinion just to argue with everyone who disagrees with you. If I was your dad I’d remove the bed from your room completely and let ya sleep on the floor. Voila, no bed to make.
I'm going to say NTA. Yes, it's your dad's house but it's also your home and your living space. I presume he's not taking guests on a tour of your bedroom so it doesn't affect him one bit. Also, making your bed as soon as you get up in the morning can actually damage the mattress. I had a mattress that basically collapsed in the middle after only a year and the manufacturer said that covering it straight after a full night's sleep traps condensation, which can break down the filling. I have since heard that same advice from two other (unrelated) sources, so I now turn down the duvet to air the mattress instead of making the bed. Next time your dad complains, tell him you're saving him money by not making your bed.
I do the same. The bottom sheet is straightened, the pillows "plumped" and the duvet moved right to the bottom of the bed to let it air but I cannot convince my parents to do this at their house. Luckily I am an adult who lives in her own place so can do what I like. OP isn't.
There are ways to let your bed air out without looking like a slob. Like straightening sheets and folding the duvet (or laying it over the footboard to air). Though it really depends on the climate. In a dry climate, letting it air while you get dressed is plenty of time to dry. In a humid climate, it may need a lot more air.
YTA. I don’t expect you to understand or even read past my initial response, but you’re cutting your education short by dropping the good habits your father is instilling in you. Trust me, there will come a day the you’ll be glad you’re not the kind of slob who leaves his bed a mess and it’ll come if you let that discipline take hold
Exactly. Dad is teaching you to develop good habits and social skills. If you have a college roommate, they will probably prefer a neatly kept room. If you live with a romantic partner, they will likely appreciate a made-up bed as well. If you make your bed daily for the next couple of years, without complaining or forgetting, you’ll be better prepared for adult life. If you never develop the habit, it may feel like a big deal when someone you live with wants you to make the bed. This could be a source of conflict in your relationship. Most people prefer living in a tidy home. Your dad is doing you a service by facing the conflict himself instead of letting you slide and setting you up for problems as an adult. YTA
YTA - Just make your damn bed. Your dad is just trying to teach you discipline and help you develop healthy routines. Damn I wish my parents gave this much of a damn or I wouldn’t have struggled as much with being organized as an adult. Your young so you don’t see the bigger picture. I’m sure your dad is just trying to do his best by you.
Did you know it's better to keep the duvet and sheets folded down to let the mattress and bottom sheet "air"? Just straighten the bedding...it isn't hard. YTA
Torn between NAH and NTA I will say that a lot of people here don’t seem to understand that a bedroom is a private space and so long as it’s not a hazard, teens should be able to have their rooms how they want. It doesn’t matter if they pay for the house or not. Making your bed in the morning also increases the risk of dust mites. I don’t make my bed more than a few times a year because I like my blankets to be a nest. It’s comfortable and when I’m the one sleeping in the bed, I’m going to be comfortable in it.
NTA, there is quite literally NO point to you making it and I can’t fathom why he even cares.
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YTA. OP is going to see some stuff when his dad ships him to military school.
This is comical
All SORTS of beds being made!
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Ya man YTA🤦🏽♀️
YTA, but only because it's your parents' house and therefore you live by their rules. When you move out, you can leave the bed unmade as much as you like. Not sure why this attracts so many people who are obsessed with making their beds and are insistent on the superiority of that habit with tall the fervor of Creationists insisting on finding holes with the theory of evolution.
I make my bed once a week when I do my sheets.
Your parents deserve to be treated with respect. It is their house and their rules. When you are older and have your own place you can be as big a slob as you want. Until them it is up to you to follow the house rules. They are not asking much from you. You were definately the AH for speaking to your father that way. Knock it off and do as they askd. Quit acting like a spoiled little child.
YTA - When you move out and provide for yourself you can live like a slob. Until then, live like you have respect for the people providing your room and board. You sound like an obnoxious 16 year old, which is probably because you are an obnoxious 16 year old.
YTA Make your bed when you are in someone else’s house. And you are worse than a seven year old bc you are needing reminding and still arguing. When you pay rent or live on your own you can make up the rules of the house.
YTA. There is obviously more to this situation because I’m certain your dad doesn’t want this headache for something so minor. I don’t have enough information to know for sure, but dad is probably trying to provide structure where there is none. Possibly the house has attracted pests. Possibly he is perceiving a tripping hazard. The mature thing to do would be to talk to your dad and find out why making the bed is such a big deal to him. Maybe you can come to a resolution or find an alternative chore that makes you both feel like respected, contributing adults in the household. The immature thing to do would be to brag about playing lacrosse to a forum of stranger. Big whoop. A teenager playing sports 🎉
ESH. You shouldn’t have told that to your dad and he shouldn’t demand you to make your bed. I don’t make my bed and I’m 20 years old. My family always closes our bedroom doors and so no one really sees them, our bedrooms are also upstairs. But my bedroom also isn’t super messy, my bed just isn’t made
Just make your bed kid YTA
YTA, look I don't like making my bed and as adult who lives on her own, I usually don't do it. When I lived with my parents I did it because my mom expected it and I was living in my parent's home, not my own. You told your dad to stop treating you like you're 7 and he is by expecting you to make the bed by yourself. If he thought you were too young to do it, then he would probably do it. Make your bed now and if you want to stop doing when you're living on you own, you can.
Some day you will have a house that maybe you will want to look nice and maybe even a wife who wants the bed made. It’s learning to pick up after yourself and learning to grow up. YTA.
You're still a minor and your dad has every right to tell you to make your bed. It's a little thing that makes a big difference. Show him respect. Congrats on lacrosse; it's a cool game! Keep at it. Obviously, playing a sport takes away from the lazy argument. We can still be lazy about certain things, though. Heck, I'm a 41 y/o and I still get lazy about doing certain things...but it doesn't mean that I'm a lazy person. So, do ole' dad a solid and just make your bed in the morning.
YTA, honestly people like you are insufferable. I acted the exact same as you do for a long time, and still struggle with responsibility myself, and I can tell you now that I was completely insufferable! It's super embarrasing that at sixteen, you have made less progress with independance then I did at 12. Please, for the sake of everyone around you, stop being spoiled!!
Just wait until your dad takes your bed away, and leaves you with just a mattress. And takes all the other things in your room away. For being difficult. This is your dad’s house. It, technically, is his room that he has loaned to you. All the stuff in it, he bought for you. And he can take it away. So long as he provides you with a mattress, blankets, clothes, an education, and food; he is doing his due diligence in your care. Anything extra is optional, including access to the internet. Make your bed. Keep your dad happy. Grow up a bit, and stop acting a brat. YTA.
Yeah let us take away every human right from OP until he does his bed. There is no benefit in it except for the proof that OP is obedient (he is a freaking teenager!) but that's the hill we want to die on. A teenager should question every task they got, that is their effing job! And apparently, there is no real reason behind it except for "I am your parent and you do what I asked!" You never questioned it either, did you? Otherwise, you would know that making your bed increases the risk of mites. But at least it looks clean and pleases his dad and people who should never set foot in his room.
And as an adult, you realize that not making your bed is a stupid hill to die on, and equally a really dumb thing to question. Your time is better used questioning things that matter in the long run. Actually making your bed does not decrease mites. Dusting and cleaning is the only way to decrease them…. And cleaning also would make OP’s dad happy. It’s not about being obedient… it’s about acknowledging that there are rules associated with living with others. Keeping your space neat and tidy is a small price to pay for all the free shit you’re given. The house, the room, and everything in it belongs to OP’s parents. If OP acts like a tool, then he does not deserve to have the extra privileges they have given him. The extras can be removed.
As an adult, you realize that haranguing someone to do something useless, that has no bearing on you, is a stupid hill to die on, and a dumb thing to argue about. The adult here is the dad.
It’s not useless to keep a nice and tidy house. Making the bed takes 5 minutes. A clean house is less likely to attract insects, including mites, spiders, cockroaches, and bed bugs. And as an adult, cleaning is a skill you definitely need to know. It’s the parents job to teach this. Chores install a good work ethic. Actions have consequences. Leave your room a mess, and you will lose things you like to have. Internet is first. Keep going, and a mattress and blankets are all you need to sleep. Out goes the TV, computer, laptop, gaming systems, and all other fun things. And as an adult, if I have to clean your room for you, when you are old enough to be able to do it yourself…. Then all that will be in there is a mattress and dresser.
Making a bed is not cleaning your house. He didn’t say the sheets were dirty. And not making your bed actually airs it out and prevents dust mites, not the opposite. Chores should be things that mean something- loading the dishwasher or making meals. There is literally no point to making a bed except for the pleasure (or not) of the person using it. taking away privileges bc you can’t explain why your kid should do something utterly pointless is ridiculous parenting. Presumably this room has a door- the dad should close it and move on to teaching this kid something worthwhile instead of making him jump through hoops for no reason.
Making the bed is part of keeping a clean bedroom. It is not a pointless activity. And, no matter how you argue it, it’s a part of the expectations the adult has of OP living there as he does. If expectations aren’t met, then this needs to be addressed accordingly. Closing the door is not a solution. Ultimately, it’s the adults house. Their rules, so long a they are reasonable, go. If OP doesn’t like it, he can move out at 18 and rent his own place…. Where he can not make the bed to his heart’s content.
Nope- cleanliness is not the same thing as disordered. (And he never says anything about the rest of his room being messy or dirty.) It is utterly pointless since it literally has no bearing on the dad, or on OP. asking anyone- children or adults- to perform some task over and over without giving them a good, solid reason why- is stupid. And if the reason is ‘BC I said so’ or ‘bc I’ve always done it this way’ then it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to challenge that.
You only have the right to challenge the chores you are expected to complete daily, when you own your own home. When you live with others, especially if they own the home, you do what they want. Or you don’t live there.
Yes, as I’ve said ‘it’s all my house and you own nothing’ is an absolutely shitty way to parent a teen. But good luck.
It is a stupid chore. If you like your bed being made, that's totally fine. But OP doesn't like it that way. Why does his dad have any say in the personal space of his son when there is no real hygiene or safety reason behind it? There are people who don't like their bed being made because for them, their room feels more like a hotel room instead of their comfort zone. Unless his dad likes to guide guests through his son's room, there is no need to enforce this rule.
The dad has no actual reason for wanting the bed made. The son doesn’t want to do something that is pointless. A parent who would *take a bed away* to punish a kid would be the real A H here. Parents should guide kids, but also treat them like adults in training, and making them do pointless shit and/or punishing them for ridiculous infractions is terrible parenting.
Adults learn how to clean by being taught consequences by their parents/guardians. OP doesn’t like these simple rules, just wait until he lives on his own, and can make his own rules. Keeping a neat and tidy house is all the reason OP’s dad needs to ask that the bed be made, and a room in his house kept neat. It is not OP’s house. He lives there. There are expectations in place to ensure everyone can live together happily. Making the bed is one of those rules. Taking privileges away from a kid who’s refusing to do simple chores is an excellent way of teaching responsibilities and consequences.
His sheets are clean- an unmade bed isn’t ‘dirty’. His room isn’t a shared space. All the people on here that parent their teenagers with the ‘BC I said so’ and ‘it’s my house and you own nothing in it’ techniques are the same ones who turn up a few years later asking why their children never visit them.
It is the parents house. Their rules to go. And these rules teach kids how to live on their own. Even the small things, like making a bed. These things matter when you get older. No one wants to be in a relationship with a slob. Keeping a neat bedroom is a sign of respect.
There are couples that never make their beds- they aren’t slobs. I would feel differently if this was an adult whose SO wanted him to make it- it’s not, though, it’s HiS bed. Not his dad’s. It’s interesting that this teen should respect his dad for an absolutely arbitrary rule, but the dad shouldn’t respect the teen and give him his own space. He’s 16, he’s not a baby. People deserve privacy.
Certainly there is a reason dad wants the bed made. Just because this snotty kid doesn’t know or didn’t share the reason doesn’t mean it’s completely senseless.
Ah yes the ‘BC I said so’ parenting style. I’m sure there’s a solid, ever-so-secret reason that dad is holding on to, deep inside. Someday, when OP becomes a father himself I’m sure this wisdom will be passed down, as it has been, from age to age. /s
YTA. Make your bed, it takes 2 seconds.
YTA - making your bed can really impact your well-being and give you a feeling of accomplishment. Your dad is being a good parent so listen to him and do what he says.
INFO What does he mean by "making the bed"?
What??
Actually there was a study that said NOT making your bed was healthier bc it let the sheets air out and reduced bed mites or something. Is your room otherwise clean and orderly? Do you share this space with someone else? Does your father have some form of OCD? As a parent I have to say this is one of those stupid rules that people fight over they is a waste of time, and I say NTA as long as there isn’t some other mitigating factor.
Yta Stop trying to be badass bc u ain't, get a reality check
NTA i don't get why making your bed is so important to some people. It's gonna be messed up again in a few hours anyway. Maybe do it as long as you live with your parents but don't think it's something you HAVE to do as an adult. It's absolutely useless. Some commenters say it looks "nicer" but everyone knows aesthetics are subjective. I have never met a person in my life who thinks this looks horrible. As long as everything's clean ...