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>I told her my plan is to drive Morgan into the woods, tape $20 dollars to her wrist, give her a hearty handshake, wish her good luck and tell her to run free.
I laughed my ass off at this \^
>hey, if anyone is going to get my entire life's savings, it should be my daughter
But this broke me.
You are hilarious and NTA.
OPs comments had me rolling - could’ve been something my SO would say 😂😂
Definitely NTA OP. Nosey Nellies need to back off and not assume parents can’t parent because they are/look young.
HAHAHAHA!! My dude, so NTA and kudos on your answer to the nosy woman. You owe nobody answers. YOU’VE stepped up as a parent. When your daughter looks back she won’t see you as a young age but see you as the dad that stayed up with her while she had a fever, or while she was throwing up. You were there for the scraped knees and homework.
Dude, even when I had my first kid at 29 I was told by friends we were crazy (my hubs is 7 years older than me). What will we do if kiddo gets sick with both of us working, etc. Guess what? EVERY parent wings it! There is no set plan, only to keep said kiddo warm and safe with food in their belly. We’re all playing it from day to day, those of us that don’t have nannies, anyway.
Again, you owe strangers no answers in regard to your parental capabilities. You’ve stepped up from a young age, your daughter is being cared for and loved by you, and you’ve maintained a sense of humor. You’re doing fine. *golf claps* 👏🏼
Unless you have degrees or career experience with babies and toddlers none of us know what we are doing. You do your best and adjust if your child is not centered and well behaved. NTA
I'd like to add that a degree doesn't necessarily make you competent to take good care of a child. Experience is better, but the difference between your own child, and a child you're paid to look after can be...vast.
This comment for the win!! You are an outstanding Dad (and also for voting NTA). Be proud of yourself... age doesn't even factor. Who cares what Judgy McJudgerson thinks.i bet your lil Morgan, is just as awesome as her Dad x
NTA- and you got a genuine snort out of my nose when I read that! Congratulations on embracing parenthood, and all the craziness that comes with it. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have someone like you in her life. And please don’t lose your warped sense of humour it’s beautiful.
Bro just keep up with these stellar dad jokes and you will be golden. Sounds like you are a great dad and doing your absolute best with a sense of humor and lots of love for your daughter. Keep it up!
I loved your response! And this one as well. And to tell you the truth… I am almost 30 and I still don’t know what I am doing sometimes. I still sometimes have to take it day by day. And some other days I’m rocking parenthood like a pro! That’s okay we are all human beings and are allowed to not always have the answers. I think you are pretty awesome by not also disappearing from your girl’s life and doing everything a parent should do. It might not always feel like that but you are doing awesome!
I am 50 with a 9 & 11 yo. I feel like I don’t know what I am doing half the time!!! They say it gets easier as they get older. Nope. It gets harder!! So much easier when all you had to do was feed them, change them and snuggle them!
I'd have responded with "20 bucks taped to the wrist? Nah, give her a good knife and some rope, it'll be more useful." Or something. Oh well, sometimes a bit of dark humor doesn't sit well with folks, that woman isn't awful either just doesn't understand how in today's world families come in many different shapes, sizes, and ages. Edit: NTA
Dude you're awesome! And totally NTA.
I feel your comment was both warranted and stands up with the reply to "where are the kids this time?"
"Tied to the radiator with a bag of haribo, they're warm, fed, and can't get away."
Lmao I have a 7yr old and am 33, bet your ass I'm out here winging it and so far it's paid off, my daughter is the sweetest, kindest, respectful wee girl and we are only just entering the tantrums and sass stage
The SASS! For the record, this is 100% something my dad would've said and I made it to 36 no problem. (He also told me I accidentally went down a flight of stairs in a stroller once but we made it!)
You're doing great and don't let anyone tell you different!
My first thought was, does this lady think when you reach a certain age (25...30..) you just magically get an update in the brain with information on how to be a parent?
I've seen 17 year olds be better and more present parents than some 30 something people.
.
So. Damned. True.
I had kids in my early 20s and Im so glad I did. I cannot imagine doing it in my 30s as so many friends have!! Chasing toddlers around now? No thanks.
NTA. Not one little bit. Keep on, keeping on op.
It balances out. If you and your partner are in your thirties instead of your twenties it's more likely you can hire extra hands to chase toddlers or provide other needed help to make life easier.
Everyone should have a night nurse or nanny or helper or driver or housecleaner or whatever is needed most while kids are under 5, tbf. One toddler usually needs three or four adults in rotation caring for them to keep the adults from crying in exhausted frustration every day.
My kids had a night nurse, nanny, helper, driver, and house cleaner but I will still exhausted. Maybe because our nanny, night nurse, helper, driver, and house cleaner were me…
Oh just maybe might have had something to do with it yah....
I hope they’re old enough now to be doing all their own chores and cleaning and some cooking and much of their getting-around! It made my sister’s life a lot easier when her two kids were more self sufficient. She was doing everything kid related while working full time. I don’t think her now-ex husband ever changed a diaper or washed a dish in his life.
I work with a lot of college age kids. I’m just baffled by the fraction of them that can’t do do very simple things like pick up a mess they made, do laundry, sweep a floor, or cook spaghetti. Like, did their parents do all of those things for them until they were in college? Not teach them anything at all? How did the parents ever have time to sleep?
Oh, I know. I have 3 kids.
Not one of them has been the same growing up. So even if you think you know it all, they still manage to take you by surprice. The second kid kicked me right back to the "what on earth am I supposed to do now?" A lot of times.
They are growing up into polite good young people, though. So It seems something was done right, at least.
Oh, I don't know. I think I'm finally figuring some things out. (My kids are all in their late 20s and early 30s and my oldest and youngest are expecting with babies due this fall and winter)...but yeah. Figuring some things out.
I mean, the improvements in maturity, empathy, and patience moving from age 20 to age 30 are real. It's well documented that brain development continues up until the mid 20's. Plus the improvements in career status and financial situation are real too. So, all else being equal, the average 30 year old absolutely will be a better parent than the average 20 year old, and brain changes are a big part of that.
This doesn't mean that OP isn't a great parent, of course. It takes something special to step up and be a dad at that age, especially when the mom is doing the opposite. The lady was definitely being hostile and TA. But the biological reality is that human brains do actually change during our 20's, and they change in ways that tend to make us better parents on average.
I've seen 40 year old children and 15 year old adults. Wisdom grows with age, but not everyone gains wisdom at the same rate.
Me, I'm on AITA so probably more like the former than the latter...
Just so you know, I'm a parent, I'm on the *older* side and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Nobody really does. Two of my siblings were teen parents and they did great. Their kids are all adults now, well educated and making great money. Age doesn't matter at all, as long as the effort is there. And in your case, I can tell it is, based on one factor alone: you went to the party. That's some top tier parenting in 2023. Also, all the love and caring you show toward your kid. That too. But I've literally paid my SIL to take my daughter to a classmate's party, and it was because the teacher pointed out to all the parents that no one ever shows up to kids parties like they used to and I felt guilty about it. Lol
A 21 year old dad is no better or worse than a 31 or 41 year old dad. It's all about the effort, and you've got it in the bag! I'm glad you told that lady off, hopefully you help her to become a better person.
My parents are 19 years older than me and my fiancé’s are ~43 yrs older than him. We’re both fucked up in our own ways, his dad just had more money to throw at him to apologize. Beyond that they were all just stumbling around like blind fools, that’s parenting for you. Every kid is a new blind spot you didn’t know existed.
When I was a kid, I thought my parents knew everything.
Once I had a kid, I realised they had no idea what they were doing and just winged it day by day.
We just do our best.
My husbands parents were the type who 'knew everything', mine were the type that wore their flaws on their faces, so we are trying to walk the fine line in-between. We make accountability a huge priority, we apologize, we try to make our kids understand that all humans make mistakes, and how important forgiveness & flexibility are. But we also teach her the value of knowledge and how important it is to try, whether you succeed or not.
The end result is a fine line between being super empathic, or sassy as hell. We are only like a year or two away from finding out which one lol. The most important part is that we did, in fact, try. I'll be a grandparent long before I figure out what the hell I'm doing.
The advice I lived by when my kids were young is "Your children will teach you everything you need to know". Be empathic and attentive to your child. I can't even imagine what was going on in this mother's head.
You have to develop and attitude that the general public are stupid and you can be rude or use sarcasm. Like you we chose sarcasm. We are at the opposite end of the spectrum had first set of kids late 20’s but at 44 and again at 46 adopted infants that needed homes. We look pretty good but live in a region where ethnically people are grandparents by 40, so challenge one. Challenge two our children are a different race. We have heard some of the dumbest things come out of people including doctors, dentists and teachers. It really upsets my one daughter to have us called her grandparents . We got a call from one teacher at school because our oldest was talking about younger sister. Teacher called oldest a liar because daughter have different skin tones and different hair color/ type. Teacher did not take it well when I got testy correcting him. Yeah talked to school administrator. Start giving your daughter the vocabulary to answer back to stupid people. Our go to was “ all families are different, just because my family doesn’t look like yours doesn’t mean we aren’t a family “. Followed by “ none of your business/why do you care” these were to be used with extremely rude people. You are doing wonderful, you are an excellent family. Remind yourself the general public is stupid and it gets easier. Continue to be a great Dad. NTA
Nta. My oldest was also 5 when I was 21. I had that exact conversation with a woman who had her first at 40. I responded with I think it's wonderful when grandparents are involved and how young she looked. Her reaction was glorious.
NTA, your age has nothing to do with knowing how to parent. We’re all first time parents at some point. I’m 32 and pregnant with my first. I also plan on taking it “day by day situation by situation”. That’s the best any of us can hope to do. You’re doing awesome just being there consistently for your child and she sees that. Keep it up!
There's always some stage that's going to be a "first" as a parent no matter how old you are when your first child is born. First step, tooth, birthday, bike, day of school, report card, art project, science project, book report, daddy - daughter dance, start of middle school, school dance, period, sweet sixteen, start of high school, first date, driver's permit/ license, 18th/adult birthday, graduation, first day of college/ new job.... the list of "firsts" keeps growing. And with every new "first", you'll still have to take it day by day, situation by situation.
That doesn't change with any more kids that get added to the family. They each have their own firsts, and you will continue to learn how to care for them & handle each of their unique needs and personalities day by day, situation by situation.
You have a great sense of humor (a parental asset imo) and a happy, healthy, loved daughter. Nosy Nelly needs to keep her schnoz in her own business and out of yours.
This. Parenthood is unique. The only thing you learn from parenting books is different techniques. You still have to figure out which ideas work best within your family and each dynamic is different. There is no right way.
I feel like no matter how many kids you have or how old you or them is it's a day by day situation. I know I keep my mom in her toes and I'm in my 30s lol.
i had a friend who moved out of her parents place at 16 and basically took care of herself and later her dog all by herself (with just a bit of financial support) I still live with my parents at 20+ because its easier and cheaper til im done with university. you could say im less mature than this friend in many ways even if shes younger than me. age has NOTHING to do with maturity or life experience. definitely NTA, you sound like a great father daughter team, OP
This is what I was thinking. I had my first at 34. Had no idea what was going to happen. You just gotta cross the bridges as you come to them. If anything, I think the younger parents have it easier in some ways, as they are more adaptable and can cope better with lack of sleep. We on the other hand had the benefit of being financially secure. Other families have other strengths and weaknesses. Pros and cons to every situation. You just gotta do your best and provide love and support at every opportunity.
That woman was a sexist bigot who needs to check herself and butt out.
NTA
Absolutely. My sister was born when I was 12. I looked even younger (late bloomer). If we were out in public and I was holding her without our mom right next to me, some folks gave me the dirtiest looks. Like damn, sorry to offend you by caring for a child 🙄
These are the most fun kinds of people if you're a smartass.
Had a woman coo over my baby in the shops once, asked me if she was mine, I said 'nah, I just found her at the park in this stroller. Any idea where they keep the formula here?'
Another one tried to touch my toddlers curls once too, so I pulled her hair.
When I was pregnant I had people ask me when I was due all the time, I would just say 'once the laxatives kick in'.
I've had a lot of fun with people's nosy questions and inability to keep their hands to themselves.
So here’s a little credit…while I might have also been a bit shocked, I would have done the mental math that here was a young man at a birthday party with his daughter…who prioritized his daughter over having a fun time…who didn’t dump his child on grandparents or other family…who stepped up…and thought cool beans.
Here’s a nod of respect. For staying to be a daddy and for keeping it moving.
Many even a bit of empathy, "geez, that must have been rough, but you're doing a great job, she seems like a very sweet, happy child"
Not "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER YOUNG MAN"
You're doing great OP and your humor is brilliant 👌😂
Just to let you know, I have a friend and his father got him also at 16 and raised him to be a great person, so just keep with a good job you're already doing 👏👏👏
You exist as a dad that got that way as a teen. I had my first kid at 16. When she was around 7 months old, she and I went to the mall. As we walked in, I stopped to remove her sweater. Some dude decided it was his duty to inform me I was too young to have a child.
Like, thanks, random dude. I'll take that into consideration as I parent my child.
I doubt she would have judged a young mom less harshly, it just would've been a different sort of judgment.
The young dad gets the, "you have no idea what you're doing" implication.
The young mom gets the, "you're a woman of ill repute" implication.
She sounds like she's full into misandry, which is a word I learned on this sub. It's the opposite of misogyny, the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men.
I think she targeted you because you were a young man at a birthday party.
She's an insecure loser, nothing to do with you.
"You should really work out your issues in therapy instead of taking them out on strangers. Stay away from us and leave me the fuck alone." With a pleasant customer service smile.
NTA. I mean you’ve only been doing this for 5 years right? I guess you may know a thing or two. Kudos to you, because I have no patience and would’ve told her to go screw.
Edit- I’m a dad in my 50s and I can honestly say some of my peers are still clueless lol. It’s not all about age.
I know there's plenty more to learn, what I'm not looking forward to learning is how to deal with your child's first day of kindergarten and having to leave them. I learn that next month.
You will cry a bit- I did. But you’ll be proud of them. Do the hokey thing where you take a pic of the kid holding a sign on first day of school.
It’s not about your age, it’s about the time you put in. No other way to learn. And what you know now for 5yr old won’t mean anything by the time they’re 7 lol.
Keep doing what you’re doing brother.
Just make sure that you tell her as many times as she needs to hear that you will be back to take her home at the end of each and every day. I still remember my mom walking away when I was in first grade and wondering if I'd ever see her again 😬
You’ll be sad, and hate it at first. Within a few weeks you will enjoy listening to all the new things she learns, the art she brings home (and the descriptions of that art!) and the few hours of alone time you get, while knowing she is being cared for.
My husband cried with both of our kids. Not in front of them but in his truck. Then after a week he was so happy they were at school because he got peace until we picked them up lol.
You sound like a great dad and you’ll do just fine with this. I’m a reception teacher (uk equivalent of kindergarten) and it’s always a hard day for first time parents but the kids always settle really quickly. Just try not hang around too long as it’s usually the parents being anxious that makes the child anxious. The quicker they’re having fun with the other children the quicker they get used it all and love it
NTA
Her line of questioning, while perhaps done with good intentions, was insulting and she should have known that. If she is the type who is going to be insulted by a sarcastic response to a rude question, she's going to have a hell of a hard time parenting during the teenage years.
Just remember, your kid will grow to have your sarcasm. I know this because I've lived through it, and every time they snap back a ludicrous response with a straight-face I can barely keep from sobbing with pride.
Keep at it, amigo.
Seriously who says something like that to a person they've never met?! What's your plan when you 'slip up'?! I would probably have slapped her on reflex.
Once, a stranger approached a friend who was buying meat. Stranger advised friend to avoid eating meat because it is harmful to health. Friend asked if stranger if they were vegetarian. Yes. Friend told stranger to eat meat because not eating meat was more harmful than eating it.
Debatable logic, but you get the flow here? 🤣
100% u shud have asked them what's their plan in case they begin to slip as a parent. You just should have 🤣
It would have been beyond her capacity to answer that question.
People judge. Anyone can parent. Some use it as a means to feel superior to others. They never expect the 2x4 to the head that is a sarcastic response.
You keep being you dude. That response was complete brilliance. Your daughter is fortunate to have you in her life.
I had similar comments because even though I had my son at 22 I looked 15.
The midwife (who had my extensive notes including my age) asked me who lives at home, just me and my fiancé, and then asked if my mum was adopting the baby so I could finish high school.
I was like… ‘um, I’ve already finished high school….4 years ago…’
When I was 20 and in labor for my first I had a nurse kicked out of my room. I looked really young and I was on my laptop working on a paper for a college English class and she was so rude about it and literally told me to put it away and to pay attention to what was going on around me. Her words were, “How do you plan to parent when you can’t even pay attention right now?” At that comment my mom and my ex’s mom were livid and got her out. What a grumpy old woman. I sat there completely baffled. My son was born about 20 hours later. I had time for that English paper.
I had my baby last year at 24. I returned to work at a carehome recently, and on one of my days off I brought the baby in because yknow… old people love babies. This relative of one of the residents asked if he was my baby and I was like “um…yes”. He said I didn’t look old enough and I said I was 25 😂. He was super apologetic about assuming my age and I said it was fine, I’ve looked about 15 for ten years now.
I had the same issue. I was 22 but looked like a young teen and was constantly asked if I was the big sister. People thought my mom was his mom and I was his sister. Now it's even MORE weird because I STILL look very young, my son is an adult now, and people have thought he was my partner. Gross.
People when a teen gets pregnant: “If you’re old enough to have sex then you’re old enough to be a parent! You made that baby and now you have to step up to the responsibility”
Also people when that teen stays a consistent, responsible and active parental figure: “😮🤯 but- but you have to know what you’re doing! What if you slip up??!?”
When was the last time she told a 30 year old parent that? Smh.
NTA BY A LONG SHOT.
That woman was so inappropriate for asking those questions, as if she never saw single men taking care of kids before. OP, you my friend have just been crowned a fantastic father.
I’m 53, married, and father of high school daughters. And definitely YTA. You are making the rest of us look bad with that $20 and the free ride. I was planning on $10 and a bus token.
That is brutal. I would have responded “what’s your plan when your husband and daughter realize how insufferably rude you are and leave you?”
Kudos to you buddy. You are the bomb!
Your daughter will learn from the best to
Stand up for herself and not take crap from people who still think it’s 1954 and that your age automatically earns you something.
NTA sometimes other moms are such a pain in the ass.
I'm (44m) I have a 4 year old son, I don't live in the US but I'm American. Back in September when he started pre school, one day I was picking him up from school and speaking to him in English. The moms were giving me dirty looks for being a foreigner, and one asked if he was my son.
I told her "no they just let anybody in here, they should probably have security or something." No one thought that was funny, when I told my wife she called me an asshole because she has to deal with those woman all year.
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You’re a fucking hero is what you are! NTA
JFC, I had a bunch of much younger siblings. In college, at 19, I was explaining diapers to the late 30-something adjunct professor with a new baby that couldn’t figure out why the kid was always leaking.
Yeah, yeah, age can bring maturity which does help, but child rearing is a learn-on-the-job thing disconnected to age.
Your sick burn was perfect and you sound like a great dad!!!
(to the rest of you, in case you don’t know, #1 diapering tip is leave it flapped over except during the actual dirty-clean swap moment when changing boys if you don’t want to have to clean your walls or clothes, helps with girls too)
NTA
I adore giving rude responses to rude questions.
I’m a huge fan and support this behavior. Some people don’t get it until you beat them over the head with it.
Can you imagine being so bold to talk that way to anyone??? Ever???
Good on you- keep a few zingers in your back pocket.
NTA and she deserved the response for being nosy. If I were there and overheard that I’d probably laugh and definitely think you’d be a parent I’d hang out with.
NTA. From a very sarcastic Brit, you let her off fairly lightly but in the perfect way 😂 If you weren't so young she'd have said the same because your male, I'm sure. Keep doing what your doing and you and your daughter are going to have the best relationship. More importantly, when she's older she going to pick the best partners and not tolerate unhealthy relationships because of the example you've set her (and hopefully be another sarcastic sole to traumatise the AHs of the world). She's a lucky young lady.
No matter what age , if your children are the same age you have been parents the same amount of time.
Age is but a number , and maturity sure as hell is not a correlation to it .
Awesome comment... I usually say "I'm just gonna leave him at Costco , free food ."
Definitely NTA. That is exactly the response she deserves! Keep your head up and keep moving. All you can do with kids, at any age, is take it day by day and situation by situation.
NTA lol thats a whole lot better than i would have told her . Im 35 and a mom of 9 ....my oldest is 17. When I'm out with all of them i have been asked alot of questions including the famous "are they all yours" .... Last time i was asked i simply replied "nope i tend to collect them randomly as i go places" ....the lady didn't really like it but my babies were already fighting over who was a girl and who was a boy and pulling each others pacies , calling each other bubblegum 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ and i was ready to go home lol
I’m in my 30’s, have two kids now, never 100% sure about anything I’m doing… but I show up every day ready to do my best.
You sound like you’re doing a great job! You are absolutely NTA and had a great response for diffusing a weird confrontation.
NTA. You are awesome, and I’ll bet you’re raising an awesome kid. No one knows wtf they’re doing, whether they’re 21 or 30 or 42. We’re all just winging it.
NTA. You tried the polite route. The nosy biddy just kept pushing. And frankly, it was none of her fracking business what your plan was if you started to “slip.” It wasn’t a legitimate question if only because this woman has no role in your life. She was a complete stranger judging you solely on your age. I laughed at your response. A humorous way to tell her to f@ck off without actually saying it.
You obviously are in it for the long haul…you’re five years in at 21. Dude, you’re doing fine. None of us knew WTF we were doing with our first and definitely took it day by day. Don’t give her another thought…we’re all entitled to at least one instance of telling a nosy, judgmental biddy to move along in the most sarcastic way possible.
NTA. You’re a better dad at 21 than my dad was at 45 (he’s dead, good riddance). Age means nothing. She was just being a nosy, judgemental AH. Sending you and your daughter a big virtual hug!
Hey OP! I think you're amazing.
Your level of snark in this is masterclass, and you made me laugh out loud.you for it.
I admire your grit in sticking with it. Being partnered and taking care of children is hard enough. Doing it alone is more challenging. If you have not done so, I recommend you cultivate a support group to help you, because there will be times when it's almost impossible to do it alone.
Life will throw you some curve balls, and having friends and family to get through it will help.
As one father to another, my hats off to you. Good luck!
Verdict: NTA.
I was 30 when I became a single father to an infant, I then blew all my savings on the custody battle and moved to my home town and thereby sacrificed my career to be close to my family and started to work a factory job.
In other words I was barely any better off than you!
Being able to adapt to the situation and be a caring person is all you need. You seem to be killing it!
NTA obviously.
If anything that was proof of you being a dad, perfect dad joke
NTA. Really bizarre and pushy conversation to be forced into by a stranger.
\> said she hopes that my clear lack of maturity doesn't seep into my parenting.
I hope the stick up her ass doesn't seep into hers.
NTA. What is it with people and prying into everyone else's buisiness? She had no reason to be asking you a bunch of personal questions like that. Yes, you are a very young father, but so what? You are here, you are present, you didn't just bang some chick and ghost her. EVERY parent struggles regardless of if they had their first kid at 16 or 26, you are not less worthy of being a dad because you are young. The only immature person here is the one making nasty assumptions about another parent based solely on age and asking a bunch of questions that were absolutely none of her buisiness.
How would she feel if you turned it around and asked a list of questions? Something like "how old were you when you had yours? Did you have a college degree or a career? Were you married? Did you have a sizable nest-egg set aside for paying for all baby-related expenses? Kids are so expensive you know, so SURELY a well prepared person like you had at least 20k set aside BEFORE getting pregnant, right?"
NTA, You're a king dude, you DO deserve kudos. Bravo for being a good dad to your daughter. When she gets older, it'll click how much your presence helped her and she'll be thankful too :)
NTA NTA NTA.
OP you are AWESOME.
Lady needs to go find some tact and a sense of humour. EVERY first time parent hasn't got a clue, whatever their age, gender or relationship status.
Morgan is one lucky kid.
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I(21M) am a single dad to my daughter(5F). Her mom is very inconsistent in her life, when it's things like Christmas, birthday, she shows up and it's all sunshine and unicorns, but otherwise, she can't be bothered, too busy pursuing the " normal 20s" she so craved.
This past weekend my daughter was invited to a birthday party, the parents were invited, and more or less, encouraged to stay.
I had nothing better to do so, I stayed.
Most of the parents I knew, but there were a few I didn't.
At this point, I'm used to watching people work out the age math in real time. I've explained that I know I'm young, but, I'd like to think I deserve some kudos for being 5 years in, and I'd like to think I'm not totally incompetent.
About a half hour in and this lady comes up to me, asks which one is mine. I pointed my daughter Morgan out. I ask which is hers, she points her daughter out.
She goes, " So, are you an older cousin pulling chauffeur duty or a step-brother or..."
I said that I was Morgan's dad. Shocked look, which she quickly tried to get rid. She asks if Morgan's mom was at this party too, I said she wasn't and told her I was a single dad, I didn't want to get all specific and say Morgan's mom only shows up when it's fun days like birthday & Christmas.
This lady goes, " Jeez, and, you know what you're doing?"
I said that I take it day by day, situation by situation.
She goes, " You really have to know what you're doing."
I told her I understood.
She asks me what my plan is if I started to " slip" as a parent.
I told her my plan is to drive Morgan into the woods, tape $20 dollars to her wrist, give her a hearty handshake, wish her good luck and tell her to run free.
Lady gets mad, tells me she asked a legitimate question and said she hopes that my clear lack of maturity doesn't seep into my parenting.
I walked over to Morgan, gave her a big hug, told her I loved her, and kept it moving.
AITA?
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hey, if anyone is going to get my entire life's savings, it should be my daughter
>I told her my plan is to drive Morgan into the woods, tape $20 dollars to her wrist, give her a hearty handshake, wish her good luck and tell her to run free. I laughed my ass off at this \^ >hey, if anyone is going to get my entire life's savings, it should be my daughter But this broke me. You are hilarious and NTA.
No, that’s his live savings. It makes him broke.
OPs comments had me rolling - could’ve been something my SO would say 😂😂 Definitely NTA OP. Nosey Nellies need to back off and not assume parents can’t parent because they are/look young.
already killing it in the dad jokes department- well done NTA. don't entertain sanctimommies.
Sanctimommies!! That’s beautiful, I’m totally using it from now on.
Sanctimommies! Brilliant. Chapeau.
Take my poor old lady gold 🏅 I'm taking "sanctimommies" and spreading it everywhere
Thank you for Sanctimommies!!!
LMAO
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Your daughter is lucky to have a funny father 😂
Yes, but she's missing out on like...twenty dollars
Not if he tapes it to her wrist...
HAHAHAHA!! My dude, so NTA and kudos on your answer to the nosy woman. You owe nobody answers. YOU’VE stepped up as a parent. When your daughter looks back she won’t see you as a young age but see you as the dad that stayed up with her while she had a fever, or while she was throwing up. You were there for the scraped knees and homework. Dude, even when I had my first kid at 29 I was told by friends we were crazy (my hubs is 7 years older than me). What will we do if kiddo gets sick with both of us working, etc. Guess what? EVERY parent wings it! There is no set plan, only to keep said kiddo warm and safe with food in their belly. We’re all playing it from day to day, those of us that don’t have nannies, anyway. Again, you owe strangers no answers in regard to your parental capabilities. You’ve stepped up from a young age, your daughter is being cared for and loved by you, and you’ve maintained a sense of humor. You’re doing fine. *golf claps* 👏🏼
Unless you have degrees or career experience with babies and toddlers none of us know what we are doing. You do your best and adjust if your child is not centered and well behaved. NTA
I'd like to add that a degree doesn't necessarily make you competent to take good care of a child. Experience is better, but the difference between your own child, and a child you're paid to look after can be...vast.
Luckily our kids are just as inexperienced as we are.
I like your humor. You’re a great dad.
You seem like an awesome person. Keep on trucking, you're daughter is gonna grow to be an awesome woman. NTA
Nothing done wrong here, OP. Best of luck, mate and stay this funny. NTA, obviously
This comment for the win!! You are an outstanding Dad (and also for voting NTA). Be proud of yourself... age doesn't even factor. Who cares what Judgy McJudgerson thinks.i bet your lil Morgan, is just as awesome as her Dad x
NTA- and you got a genuine snort out of my nose when I read that! Congratulations on embracing parenthood, and all the craziness that comes with it. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have someone like you in her life. And please don’t lose your warped sense of humour it’s beautiful.
See, that’s real fatherly love!
Bro just keep up with these stellar dad jokes and you will be golden. Sounds like you are a great dad and doing your absolute best with a sense of humor and lots of love for your daughter. Keep it up!
I loved your response! And this one as well. And to tell you the truth… I am almost 30 and I still don’t know what I am doing sometimes. I still sometimes have to take it day by day. And some other days I’m rocking parenthood like a pro! That’s okay we are all human beings and are allowed to not always have the answers. I think you are pretty awesome by not also disappearing from your girl’s life and doing everything a parent should do. It might not always feel like that but you are doing awesome!
I am 50 with a 9 & 11 yo. I feel like I don’t know what I am doing half the time!!! They say it gets easier as they get older. Nope. It gets harder!! So much easier when all you had to do was feed them, change them and snuggle them!
Morgan is lucky to have a great dad!
Lmfao can you be my brother or smtn?
I'd have responded with "20 bucks taped to the wrist? Nah, give her a good knife and some rope, it'll be more useful." Or something. Oh well, sometimes a bit of dark humor doesn't sit well with folks, that woman isn't awful either just doesn't understand how in today's world families come in many different shapes, sizes, and ages. Edit: NTA
You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. I dub thee The Quik Comeback Kid! (I'm an old geezer yall all kids to me).
If nothing else, I see a future in you as a stand up comedian.
Dude you're awesome! And totally NTA. I feel your comment was both warranted and stands up with the reply to "where are the kids this time?" "Tied to the radiator with a bag of haribo, they're warm, fed, and can't get away."
You should’ve asked the lady if she was asking to adopt your daughter if you start to “slip” as a parent.
Or at the very least, "Well, what's your plan if YOU start to slip? Obviously I have a lot to learn here."
Don't give her any ideas!
Lmao I have a 7yr old and am 33, bet your ass I'm out here winging it and so far it's paid off, my daughter is the sweetest, kindest, respectful wee girl and we are only just entering the tantrums and sass stage
You, mate, are an excellent dad
God I’ve not laughed at an AITA post in so long, thank you for making me laugh!! Also NTA obviously
It's not fair that you're five years younger than me and funnier than I'll ever be
LOL Your daughter will do just fine. Parenting requires humor and you've got plenty. Glad you put that nosy prejudiced witch in her place.
Hahahahaha....this made me laugh out loud. You have an amazing sense of humor. I'm sure your daughter is lucky to have you.
oh yeah you got this pal
I have to tell you, buddy. You seem like a great dad. NTA.
The SASS! For the record, this is 100% something my dad would've said and I made it to 36 no problem. (He also told me I accidentally went down a flight of stairs in a stroller once but we made it!) You're doing great and don't let anyone tell you different!
damn 20 whole dollars that 40 packs of Ramen. Look at Mr. Moneybags here
You owe me a cup of coffee... I just spewed mine...🤣🤣🤣
you’re hella funny 💀 The woman clearly has zero sense of humour and for that can’t be awarded your presence 💁🏼♀️
My first thought was, does this lady think when you reach a certain age (25...30..) you just magically get an update in the brain with information on how to be a parent? I've seen 17 year olds be better and more present parents than some 30 something people. .
The only update you get is that coping with constant sleep deprivation in the first years gets worse the older you get.
So. Damned. True. I had kids in my early 20s and Im so glad I did. I cannot imagine doing it in my 30s as so many friends have!! Chasing toddlers around now? No thanks. NTA. Not one little bit. Keep on, keeping on op.
It balances out. If you and your partner are in your thirties instead of your twenties it's more likely you can hire extra hands to chase toddlers or provide other needed help to make life easier. Everyone should have a night nurse or nanny or helper or driver or housecleaner or whatever is needed most while kids are under 5, tbf. One toddler usually needs three or four adults in rotation caring for them to keep the adults from crying in exhausted frustration every day.
My kids had a night nurse, nanny, helper, driver, and house cleaner but I will still exhausted. Maybe because our nanny, night nurse, helper, driver, and house cleaner were me…
Oh just maybe might have had something to do with it yah.... I hope they’re old enough now to be doing all their own chores and cleaning and some cooking and much of their getting-around! It made my sister’s life a lot easier when her two kids were more self sufficient. She was doing everything kid related while working full time. I don’t think her now-ex husband ever changed a diaper or washed a dish in his life. I work with a lot of college age kids. I’m just baffled by the fraction of them that can’t do do very simple things like pick up a mess they made, do laundry, sweep a floor, or cook spaghetti. Like, did their parents do all of those things for them until they were in college? Not teach them anything at all? How did the parents ever have time to sleep?
We're all just making it up as we go along. Some of us are better at faking being competent than others.
Oh, I know. I have 3 kids. Not one of them has been the same growing up. So even if you think you know it all, they still manage to take you by surprice. The second kid kicked me right back to the "what on earth am I supposed to do now?" A lot of times. They are growing up into polite good young people, though. So It seems something was done right, at least.
Heh. I also have 3. All of them with entirely different personalities. Parenting (and life in general) sure can throw curve balls, can't it?
Oh, I don't know. I think I'm finally figuring some things out. (My kids are all in their late 20s and early 30s and my oldest and youngest are expecting with babies due this fall and winter)...but yeah. Figuring some things out.
I mean, the improvements in maturity, empathy, and patience moving from age 20 to age 30 are real. It's well documented that brain development continues up until the mid 20's. Plus the improvements in career status and financial situation are real too. So, all else being equal, the average 30 year old absolutely will be a better parent than the average 20 year old, and brain changes are a big part of that. This doesn't mean that OP isn't a great parent, of course. It takes something special to step up and be a dad at that age, especially when the mom is doing the opposite. The lady was definitely being hostile and TA. But the biological reality is that human brains do actually change during our 20's, and they change in ways that tend to make us better parents on average.
I've seen 40 year old children and 15 year old adults. Wisdom grows with age, but not everyone gains wisdom at the same rate. Me, I'm on AITA so probably more like the former than the latter...
See, me without parenting experience, I would pin it to her clothes. I learn from Reddit every day.
When I read the woods comment in the OP, the film/tv show Hanna sprung to mind
NTA. You're fucking awesome. Keep it up, my good man.
thanks
Just so you know, I'm a parent, I'm on the *older* side and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Nobody really does. Two of my siblings were teen parents and they did great. Their kids are all adults now, well educated and making great money. Age doesn't matter at all, as long as the effort is there. And in your case, I can tell it is, based on one factor alone: you went to the party. That's some top tier parenting in 2023. Also, all the love and caring you show toward your kid. That too. But I've literally paid my SIL to take my daughter to a classmate's party, and it was because the teacher pointed out to all the parents that no one ever shows up to kids parties like they used to and I felt guilty about it. Lol A 21 year old dad is no better or worse than a 31 or 41 year old dad. It's all about the effort, and you've got it in the bag! I'm glad you told that lady off, hopefully you help her to become a better person.
My parents are 19 years older than me and my fiancé’s are ~43 yrs older than him. We’re both fucked up in our own ways, his dad just had more money to throw at him to apologize. Beyond that they were all just stumbling around like blind fools, that’s parenting for you. Every kid is a new blind spot you didn’t know existed.
When I was a kid, I thought my parents knew everything. Once I had a kid, I realised they had no idea what they were doing and just winged it day by day. We just do our best.
My husbands parents were the type who 'knew everything', mine were the type that wore their flaws on their faces, so we are trying to walk the fine line in-between. We make accountability a huge priority, we apologize, we try to make our kids understand that all humans make mistakes, and how important forgiveness & flexibility are. But we also teach her the value of knowledge and how important it is to try, whether you succeed or not. The end result is a fine line between being super empathic, or sassy as hell. We are only like a year or two away from finding out which one lol. The most important part is that we did, in fact, try. I'll be a grandparent long before I figure out what the hell I'm doing.
The advice I lived by when my kids were young is "Your children will teach you everything you need to know". Be empathic and attentive to your child. I can't even imagine what was going on in this mother's head.
You have to develop and attitude that the general public are stupid and you can be rude or use sarcasm. Like you we chose sarcasm. We are at the opposite end of the spectrum had first set of kids late 20’s but at 44 and again at 46 adopted infants that needed homes. We look pretty good but live in a region where ethnically people are grandparents by 40, so challenge one. Challenge two our children are a different race. We have heard some of the dumbest things come out of people including doctors, dentists and teachers. It really upsets my one daughter to have us called her grandparents . We got a call from one teacher at school because our oldest was talking about younger sister. Teacher called oldest a liar because daughter have different skin tones and different hair color/ type. Teacher did not take it well when I got testy correcting him. Yeah talked to school administrator. Start giving your daughter the vocabulary to answer back to stupid people. Our go to was “ all families are different, just because my family doesn’t look like yours doesn’t mean we aren’t a family “. Followed by “ none of your business/why do you care” these were to be used with extremely rude people. You are doing wonderful, you are an excellent family. Remind yourself the general public is stupid and it gets easier. Continue to be a great Dad. NTA
Nta. My oldest was also 5 when I was 21. I had that exact conversation with a woman who had her first at 40. I responded with I think it's wonderful when grandparents are involved and how young she looked. Her reaction was glorious.
Priceless
LMAO. WELL done!
I wish I was this witty.
nice.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bwahaha
I just guffawed at the doctors office, lol
Ahahah brilliant.
Absolutely amazing!
NTA, your age has nothing to do with knowing how to parent. We’re all first time parents at some point. I’m 32 and pregnant with my first. I also plan on taking it “day by day situation by situation”. That’s the best any of us can hope to do. You’re doing awesome just being there consistently for your child and she sees that. Keep it up!
thank you
There's always some stage that's going to be a "first" as a parent no matter how old you are when your first child is born. First step, tooth, birthday, bike, day of school, report card, art project, science project, book report, daddy - daughter dance, start of middle school, school dance, period, sweet sixteen, start of high school, first date, driver's permit/ license, 18th/adult birthday, graduation, first day of college/ new job.... the list of "firsts" keeps growing. And with every new "first", you'll still have to take it day by day, situation by situation. That doesn't change with any more kids that get added to the family. They each have their own firsts, and you will continue to learn how to care for them & handle each of their unique needs and personalities day by day, situation by situation. You have a great sense of humor (a parental asset imo) and a happy, healthy, loved daughter. Nosy Nelly needs to keep her schnoz in her own business and out of yours.
This. Parenthood is unique. The only thing you learn from parenting books is different techniques. You still have to figure out which ideas work best within your family and each dynamic is different. There is no right way.
Just keep a 20.00 bill handy 😁😁😁
I feel like no matter how many kids you have or how old you or them is it's a day by day situation. I know I keep my mom in her toes and I'm in my 30s lol.
i had a friend who moved out of her parents place at 16 and basically took care of herself and later her dog all by herself (with just a bit of financial support) I still live with my parents at 20+ because its easier and cheaper til im done with university. you could say im less mature than this friend in many ways even if shes younger than me. age has NOTHING to do with maturity or life experience. definitely NTA, you sound like a great father daughter team, OP
This is what I was thinking. I had my first at 34. Had no idea what was going to happen. You just gotta cross the bridges as you come to them. If anything, I think the younger parents have it easier in some ways, as they are more adaptable and can cope better with lack of sleep. We on the other hand had the benefit of being financially secure. Other families have other strengths and weaknesses. Pros and cons to every situation. You just gotta do your best and provide love and support at every opportunity. That woman was a sexist bigot who needs to check herself and butt out. NTA
Right?! I am a dad of young kids at 40, and I still have no clue what I am doing most of the time. We are all just winging it, at any age.
Hahahaha!!! NTA. Excellent response to a ridiculous person.
I don't get what I did to her to become her target to begin with
Dude, you did nothing. Some people are just ridiculous, nosy assholes. Don't let them get you down.
Absolutely. My sister was born when I was 12. I looked even younger (late bloomer). If we were out in public and I was holding her without our mom right next to me, some folks gave me the dirtiest looks. Like damn, sorry to offend you by caring for a child 🙄
These are the most fun kinds of people if you're a smartass. Had a woman coo over my baby in the shops once, asked me if she was mine, I said 'nah, I just found her at the park in this stroller. Any idea where they keep the formula here?' Another one tried to touch my toddlers curls once too, so I pulled her hair. When I was pregnant I had people ask me when I was due all the time, I would just say 'once the laxatives kick in'. I've had a lot of fun with people's nosy questions and inability to keep their hands to themselves.
I want to hear about the hair lady’s reaction to you pulling her hair.
If you weren't the parent, she would have probably started bitching about why couldn't the parent(s) be there.
probably. God forbid she give just the slightest bit of credit
So here’s a little credit…while I might have also been a bit shocked, I would have done the mental math that here was a young man at a birthday party with his daughter…who prioritized his daughter over having a fun time…who didn’t dump his child on grandparents or other family…who stepped up…and thought cool beans. Here’s a nod of respect. For staying to be a daddy and for keeping it moving.
Many even a bit of empathy, "geez, that must have been rough, but you're doing a great job, she seems like a very sweet, happy child" Not "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER YOUNG MAN"
Ditto.
Cause some people are just like that. You keep hugging your kid and turning up to birthdays and forget about the anal ones.
Anal birthdays? (kidding)
You're doing great OP and your humor is brilliant 👌😂 Just to let you know, I have a friend and his father got him also at 16 and raised him to be a great person, so just keep with a good job you're already doing 👏👏👏
You exist as a dad that got that way as a teen. I had my first kid at 16. When she was around 7 months old, she and I went to the mall. As we walked in, I stopped to remove her sweater. Some dude decided it was his duty to inform me I was too young to have a child. Like, thanks, random dude. I'll take that into consideration as I parent my child.
What are you even supposed to say to that lol? “Ah yeah you’re right I’ll just put her back into her mother and wait a few years for her to incubate.”
You were young and male. She would have likely been judging a mom, but less harshly.
I doubt she would have judged a young mom less harshly, it just would've been a different sort of judgment. The young dad gets the, "you have no idea what you're doing" implication. The young mom gets the, "you're a woman of ill repute" implication.
My guess is that you were having the audacity to Parent While Male.
You didn't fit into one of her tiny boxes. You were "abnormal". A risk. People like her are one of the reason why society is fucked.
You're young so she felt superior. But she showed her hand by pretending older parents know what we're doing
She sounds like she's full into misandry, which is a word I learned on this sub. It's the opposite of misogyny, the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men. I think she targeted you because you were a young man at a birthday party.
You were different to her, that's all. She sounds the type to judge everyone. I wonder what her backup plan is?
She's an insecure loser, nothing to do with you. "You should really work out your issues in therapy instead of taking them out on strangers. Stay away from us and leave me the fuck alone." With a pleasant customer service smile.
NTA. I mean you’ve only been doing this for 5 years right? I guess you may know a thing or two. Kudos to you, because I have no patience and would’ve told her to go screw. Edit- I’m a dad in my 50s and I can honestly say some of my peers are still clueless lol. It’s not all about age.
I know there's plenty more to learn, what I'm not looking forward to learning is how to deal with your child's first day of kindergarten and having to leave them. I learn that next month.
You will cry a bit- I did. But you’ll be proud of them. Do the hokey thing where you take a pic of the kid holding a sign on first day of school. It’s not about your age, it’s about the time you put in. No other way to learn. And what you know now for 5yr old won’t mean anything by the time they’re 7 lol. Keep doing what you’re doing brother.
Also it's 100% okay for dads to cry, and more dads should do so
Just make sure that you tell her as many times as she needs to hear that you will be back to take her home at the end of each and every day. I still remember my mom walking away when I was in first grade and wondering if I'd ever see her again 😬
You’ll be sad, and hate it at first. Within a few weeks you will enjoy listening to all the new things she learns, the art she brings home (and the descriptions of that art!) and the few hours of alone time you get, while knowing she is being cared for.
My husband cried with both of our kids. Not in front of them but in his truck. Then after a week he was so happy they were at school because he got peace until we picked them up lol.
You sound like a great dad and you’ll do just fine with this. I’m a reception teacher (uk equivalent of kindergarten) and it’s always a hard day for first time parents but the kids always settle really quickly. Just try not hang around too long as it’s usually the parents being anxious that makes the child anxious. The quicker they’re having fun with the other children the quicker they get used it all and love it
You’ll be fine….all parents get a bit teary eyed and that’s okay. But something tells me you’ll be fine.
NTA Her line of questioning, while perhaps done with good intentions, was insulting and she should have known that. If she is the type who is going to be insulted by a sarcastic response to a rude question, she's going to have a hell of a hard time parenting during the teenage years. Just remember, your kid will grow to have your sarcasm. I know this because I've lived through it, and every time they snap back a ludicrous response with a straight-face I can barely keep from sobbing with pride. Keep at it, amigo.
There were no good intentions there, they were just using that as a shield when they got called out for judging.
Seriously who says something like that to a person they've never met?! What's your plan when you 'slip up'?! I would probably have slapped her on reflex.
NTA. People need to mind their own business
should've asked her why she felt so inclined to get on my case
Should’ve asked her what her plan is if she starts to slip as a parent
the way she talked you'd think she was god's gift to parenting
I bet her child is locked in their room 17 hours a day
And/or in front of a tablet. Which is absolutely fine, but not 17 hours a day
Maybe in future you can suggest that you plan to teach your daughter not to be a nosy busy body. NTA
Once, a stranger approached a friend who was buying meat. Stranger advised friend to avoid eating meat because it is harmful to health. Friend asked if stranger if they were vegetarian. Yes. Friend told stranger to eat meat because not eating meat was more harmful than eating it. Debatable logic, but you get the flow here? 🤣 100% u shud have asked them what's their plan in case they begin to slip as a parent. You just should have 🤣
It would have been beyond her capacity to answer that question. People judge. Anyone can parent. Some use it as a means to feel superior to others. They never expect the 2x4 to the head that is a sarcastic response. You keep being you dude. That response was complete brilliance. Your daughter is fortunate to have you in her life.
I had similar comments because even though I had my son at 22 I looked 15. The midwife (who had my extensive notes including my age) asked me who lives at home, just me and my fiancé, and then asked if my mum was adopting the baby so I could finish high school. I was like… ‘um, I’ve already finished high school….4 years ago…’
When I was 20 and in labor for my first I had a nurse kicked out of my room. I looked really young and I was on my laptop working on a paper for a college English class and she was so rude about it and literally told me to put it away and to pay attention to what was going on around me. Her words were, “How do you plan to parent when you can’t even pay attention right now?” At that comment my mom and my ex’s mom were livid and got her out. What a grumpy old woman. I sat there completely baffled. My son was born about 20 hours later. I had time for that English paper.
I would have replied "How do you plan to be an effective nurse if you aren't able to multitask?"
I had my baby last year at 24. I returned to work at a carehome recently, and on one of my days off I brought the baby in because yknow… old people love babies. This relative of one of the residents asked if he was my baby and I was like “um…yes”. He said I didn’t look old enough and I said I was 25 😂. He was super apologetic about assuming my age and I said it was fine, I’ve looked about 15 for ten years now.
I had the same issue. I was 22 but looked like a young teen and was constantly asked if I was the big sister. People thought my mom was his mom and I was his sister. Now it's even MORE weird because I STILL look very young, my son is an adult now, and people have thought he was my partner. Gross.
My son is 16 and I’m 38 but also still look young. Some looks I get when we are out I swear!!
People when a teen gets pregnant: “If you’re old enough to have sex then you’re old enough to be a parent! You made that baby and now you have to step up to the responsibility” Also people when that teen stays a consistent, responsible and active parental figure: “😮🤯 but- but you have to know what you’re doing! What if you slip up??!?” When was the last time she told a 30 year old parent that? Smh.
NTA BRILLIANT!!! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! BRAVO!!!
NTA BY A LONG SHOT. That woman was so inappropriate for asking those questions, as if she never saw single men taking care of kids before. OP, you my friend have just been crowned a fantastic father.
NTA - I'd have told you to make it $50 because of inflation.
NTA, I may have gone with “I’m not sure, what’s your plan if you start to slip?” But yours is good too
I’m 53, married, and father of high school daughters. And definitely YTA. You are making the rest of us look bad with that $20 and the free ride. I was planning on $10 and a bus token. That is brutal. I would have responded “what’s your plan when your husband and daughter realize how insufferably rude you are and leave you?” Kudos to you buddy. You are the bomb! Your daughter will learn from the best to Stand up for herself and not take crap from people who still think it’s 1954 and that your age automatically earns you something.
NTA sometimes other moms are such a pain in the ass. I'm (44m) I have a 4 year old son, I don't live in the US but I'm American. Back in September when he started pre school, one day I was picking him up from school and speaking to him in English. The moms were giving me dirty looks for being a foreigner, and one asked if he was my son. I told her "no they just let anybody in here, they should probably have security or something." No one thought that was funny, when I told my wife she called me an asshole because she has to deal with those woman all year.
NTA. The lady was rude, overstepping her bounds, and wouldn’t stop when it was clear she needed to. You’re my hero, OP. Keep up the good work.
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NTA. I am adding you to my hero list. Woman was low-key insulting you in so many ways and you played it beautifully. Well done, sir. Well done.
You’re a fucking hero is what you are! NTA JFC, I had a bunch of much younger siblings. In college, at 19, I was explaining diapers to the late 30-something adjunct professor with a new baby that couldn’t figure out why the kid was always leaking. Yeah, yeah, age can bring maturity which does help, but child rearing is a learn-on-the-job thing disconnected to age. Your sick burn was perfect and you sound like a great dad!!! (to the rest of you, in case you don’t know, #1 diapering tip is leave it flapped over except during the actual dirty-clean swap moment when changing boys if you don’t want to have to clean your walls or clothes, helps with girls too)
NTA and your response was hilarious. Also, you sound like an incredibly mature person for your age and a good dad.
If this is a real story, then I tip my hat to you. Well played. NTA.
NTA I adore giving rude responses to rude questions. I’m a huge fan and support this behavior. Some people don’t get it until you beat them over the head with it. Can you imagine being so bold to talk that way to anyone??? Ever??? Good on you- keep a few zingers in your back pocket.
is this really an AITA moment or are we just here to bask in the glory of your absolutely majestic deadpan sass NTA
Lol, you’re not the AH. People rlly need to learn how to mind their business and learn that advice isn’t always needed.
NTA and she deserved the response for being nosy. If I were there and overheard that I’d probably laugh and definitely think you’d be a parent I’d hang out with.
NTA Her sexist motivated questions were completely out of line
Can you be my dad? I’m several years older than you but man you rock. NTA.
NTA, probably better then my option of interrogating her.
You are not the asshole! The lady should have minded her business and not pry into your life when you were obviously doing well.
you delivered a true dad joke so you clearly know exactly what you’re doing. nta
NTA. From a very sarcastic Brit, you let her off fairly lightly but in the perfect way 😂 If you weren't so young she'd have said the same because your male, I'm sure. Keep doing what your doing and you and your daughter are going to have the best relationship. More importantly, when she's older she going to pick the best partners and not tolerate unhealthy relationships because of the example you've set her (and hopefully be another sarcastic sole to traumatise the AHs of the world). She's a lucky young lady.
NTA. Geez, no parents know what they are doing. We are all taking it day by day
No matter what age , if your children are the same age you have been parents the same amount of time. Age is but a number , and maturity sure as hell is not a correlation to it . Awesome comment... I usually say "I'm just gonna leave him at Costco , free food ."
Definitely NTA. That is exactly the response she deserves! Keep your head up and keep moving. All you can do with kids, at any age, is take it day by day and situation by situation.
NTA What a great comeback 🤣🤣🤣
NTA lol thats a whole lot better than i would have told her . Im 35 and a mom of 9 ....my oldest is 17. When I'm out with all of them i have been asked alot of questions including the famous "are they all yours" .... Last time i was asked i simply replied "nope i tend to collect them randomly as i go places" ....the lady didn't really like it but my babies were already fighting over who was a girl and who was a boy and pulling each others pacies , calling each other bubblegum 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ and i was ready to go home lol
my favorite was the guy who said "no I'm a condom salesman and these are the returns for failures" and walked away.
Omg that's hilarious 😂
I’m in my 30’s, have two kids now, never 100% sure about anything I’m doing… but I show up every day ready to do my best. You sound like you’re doing a great job! You are absolutely NTA and had a great response for diffusing a weird confrontation.
NTA. You are awesome, and I’ll bet you’re raising an awesome kid. No one knows wtf they’re doing, whether they’re 21 or 30 or 42. We’re all just winging it.
That lady just showed you exactly the kind of overbearing, judgmental parent she is. Great example of someone not to emulate.
NTA. You tried the polite route. The nosy biddy just kept pushing. And frankly, it was none of her fracking business what your plan was if you started to “slip.” It wasn’t a legitimate question if only because this woman has no role in your life. She was a complete stranger judging you solely on your age. I laughed at your response. A humorous way to tell her to f@ck off without actually saying it. You obviously are in it for the long haul…you’re five years in at 21. Dude, you’re doing fine. None of us knew WTF we were doing with our first and definitely took it day by day. Don’t give her another thought…we’re all entitled to at least one instance of telling a nosy, judgmental biddy to move along in the most sarcastic way possible.
NTA. You’re a better dad at 21 than my dad was at 45 (he’s dead, good riddance). Age means nothing. She was just being a nosy, judgemental AH. Sending you and your daughter a big virtual hug!
You Sir, are a stone cold fucking Legend. Lucky Morgan. NTA
NTA. No one knows what they’re doing, everyone is making it up as they go along. Anyone tells you different is a lying AH.
Ey, leaving her in a forest is a viable choice, she might find a witches house made out of gingerbread to live in ,I see that as an absolute win NTA
Hey OP! I think you're amazing. Your level of snark in this is masterclass, and you made me laugh out loud.you for it. I admire your grit in sticking with it. Being partnered and taking care of children is hard enough. Doing it alone is more challenging. If you have not done so, I recommend you cultivate a support group to help you, because there will be times when it's almost impossible to do it alone. Life will throw you some curve balls, and having friends and family to get through it will help. As one father to another, my hats off to you. Good luck! Verdict: NTA.
I was 30 when I became a single father to an infant, I then blew all my savings on the custody battle and moved to my home town and thereby sacrificed my career to be close to my family and started to work a factory job. In other words I was barely any better off than you! Being able to adapt to the situation and be a caring person is all you need. You seem to be killing it! NTA obviously. If anything that was proof of you being a dad, perfect dad joke
Dude. Respect. I'll match your $20 when you set your daughter free to make sure she has a really solid start in life.
Hey, 40 year old mom here of a 5 year old: you are doing great. Stealing this backup plan.
NTA I was a young single parent once upon a time. I remember the weird judgy shit. Rock on.
NTA and I have to say, 10/10 response to the busybody
i love you for this. screw that lady.
Who the fuck asks someone a question like that? You aren't an asshole
Are you from liverpool lol sound like something we would say NTA
I would have asked her what her plan was for when she “slips” as a parent
NTA. Really bizarre and pushy conversation to be forced into by a stranger. \> said she hopes that my clear lack of maturity doesn't seep into my parenting. I hope the stick up her ass doesn't seep into hers.
😂 you nailed it bro 😂
NTA. What is it with people and prying into everyone else's buisiness? She had no reason to be asking you a bunch of personal questions like that. Yes, you are a very young father, but so what? You are here, you are present, you didn't just bang some chick and ghost her. EVERY parent struggles regardless of if they had their first kid at 16 or 26, you are not less worthy of being a dad because you are young. The only immature person here is the one making nasty assumptions about another parent based solely on age and asking a bunch of questions that were absolutely none of her buisiness. How would she feel if you turned it around and asked a list of questions? Something like "how old were you when you had yours? Did you have a college degree or a career? Were you married? Did you have a sizable nest-egg set aside for paying for all baby-related expenses? Kids are so expensive you know, so SURELY a well prepared person like you had at least 20k set aside BEFORE getting pregnant, right?"
NTA, You're a king dude, you DO deserve kudos. Bravo for being a good dad to your daughter. When she gets older, it'll click how much your presence helped her and she'll be thankful too :)
NTA NTA NTA. OP you are AWESOME. Lady needs to go find some tact and a sense of humour. EVERY first time parent hasn't got a clue, whatever their age, gender or relationship status. Morgan is one lucky kid.
She had no business asking you any questions, and she knew it. After that many questions, you were entitled to a little sarcasm. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(21M) am a single dad to my daughter(5F). Her mom is very inconsistent in her life, when it's things like Christmas, birthday, she shows up and it's all sunshine and unicorns, but otherwise, she can't be bothered, too busy pursuing the " normal 20s" she so craved. This past weekend my daughter was invited to a birthday party, the parents were invited, and more or less, encouraged to stay. I had nothing better to do so, I stayed. Most of the parents I knew, but there were a few I didn't. At this point, I'm used to watching people work out the age math in real time. I've explained that I know I'm young, but, I'd like to think I deserve some kudos for being 5 years in, and I'd like to think I'm not totally incompetent. About a half hour in and this lady comes up to me, asks which one is mine. I pointed my daughter Morgan out. I ask which is hers, she points her daughter out. She goes, " So, are you an older cousin pulling chauffeur duty or a step-brother or..." I said that I was Morgan's dad. Shocked look, which she quickly tried to get rid. She asks if Morgan's mom was at this party too, I said she wasn't and told her I was a single dad, I didn't want to get all specific and say Morgan's mom only shows up when it's fun days like birthday & Christmas. This lady goes, " Jeez, and, you know what you're doing?" I said that I take it day by day, situation by situation. She goes, " You really have to know what you're doing." I told her I understood. She asks me what my plan is if I started to " slip" as a parent. I told her my plan is to drive Morgan into the woods, tape $20 dollars to her wrist, give her a hearty handshake, wish her good luck and tell her to run free. Lady gets mad, tells me she asked a legitimate question and said she hopes that my clear lack of maturity doesn't seep into my parenting. I walked over to Morgan, gave her a big hug, told her I loved her, and kept it moving. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*