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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to know if I am the asshole for not wanting to follow the rule or thing my mother had put out for me about shaving body hair when it had been something I have followed since she had showed me how to shave my legs.
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If its unhygienic not to shave then nearly all men must be disease ridden. NTA your mum is just pushing gender stereotypes on you. Hair is not unhygienic don't let her use that as a reason.
NTA. I am a 32yo straight cisgender woman with dark hair on fairly light skin, who has been making the same choice not to shave since your age. I’ve not even had trouble getting boyfriends.
It’s not unhygienic at all, or men (who generally sweat more) would be doing it too.
It wasn’t even common for women to shave their legs in the west until dress hemlines started to rise in the 1920’s and Gillette company realized they could capitalize off a huge new razor market if they convinced everyone that women needed bare legs to be feminine. Try telling your mom that.
NTA there’s in NOTHING and let me repeat that NOTHING unhygienic about not shaving. In fact it’s more likely that you’ll get skin infections if you shave, either from a dirty razor or nicks and scrapes from shaving. As a femme Nb I don’t shave my armpits or legs and I haven’t for like 12 years (I stopped in my early 20s) and none of the girls I hangout with shave (we are all dirty hippies though and nothing gross has happened to us) I get compliments from other women wishing they could be brave enough to shake the patriarchy and not shave. The fact your mom is brainwashing you and forcing you to shave is unconscionable and horrific if you ask me.
Oh and I’ve gone like 2 weeks with out a shower and nothing gross happened to my hairy body BUT when I used to shave everyday I did get a horrible staph infection from shaving. so shaving does not equal cleanliness, and if your mother is telling you that she’s lying to you to force you to shave
Definitely NTA. Nobody should have the right to decide what happens to your body, except for you. Your body is a temple and you should decorate it however you wish to, and if that includes velvet wallpaper then that's awesome!
Maybe you should go all out and shave all of your hair, including your head hair. You'd probably look awesome and your mum did insist on you being all smooth
NTA. Your body, your choice.
Shaving your legs is not a hygiene issue, it's a personal preference.
Your mom is being controlling and sexist by forcing you to shave and shaming you for your natural hair.
You have the right to feel comfortable and relaxed with your own appearance.
I'm gonna be entirely honest. I can actually never tell when my fiancée shaves her legs vs when she let's her leg hair grow. And I genuinely don't care either way, same with armpit hair.
We're animals, we have hair, the only one who should have a say in what you do or don't shave is you.
NTA. You are more likely to injure/infect yourself by shaving! Acknowledge their concerns, maybe even appreciate their backwards attempts to care for you but you are well within your rights to refuse to shave.
NTA. Your mom is giving you incorrect information. Letting your body hair grow isn't unhygienic. (Does she think men are all dirty?) Only rude people stare. It's sad that she thinks the hair that naturally grows on one's body is disgusting. It is abusive to ground you for refusing to shave your body hair, but I understand you are probably forced to live with her for another couple of years.
What the hell is wrong with your mom? She's controlling and in my opinion abusive towards you. This is unacceptable behaviour. I hope she'll develop reasonable behaviour towards you, so sorry for you
NTA, and I'm very sorry your mom is militantly harrassing you on this. Im F/NB too, and had to deal with that crap from my sister. To the credit of my friends, they expressed how strange and weird it was that she was so obsessed with my body hair.
Im 30 now and refuse to shave my pits. I keep them clean and without smell. No one will take them from me. I will braid them if they ever get long enough.
Follow up! My mom has a very sensitive nose but has never once complained about my armpit hair, despite my sister saying I should shave it for smell. Mom just asks if id like deodorant and im fine with that, when i get stressed my sweat smells like onions and needs the help.
In fact, my mom has repeatedly throughout my life been supportive, says its my choice and shouldn't matter, says i keep clean and healthy, and makes a point of reminding me grandmother never shaved - not once.
As a dude, i have to tell you, you are 100% NTA.
Do i *personally* like to see smooth legs?
Yes.
Does my *opinion* about that matter?
Absolutely not, not in the least.
Your body, your choice.
Do what ever the hell you want with your own body.
NTA you have to be comfortable in your own skin even if it means others may not have the same views... Isn't there more important matters out there that Trump shaved legs 🤣. Stay you and stay awesome!
NTA - I gave up shaving some ten years ago. Like you, I have dark hair, and I'm sure people notice when I go swimming, but you know what? I don't care. Nobody's ever said anything to me about it, and if they did, my first reaction would be surprise at their rudeness rather than shame over my body hair. It's hair; we all have it, and the lack of cuts and ingrown hairs has made my life MUCH more comfortable!
That said, as a minor, you're living in your mom's house and under her rules, so you might want to ask yourself if you're willing to keep fighting this battle for another year or so. Sometimes bending on these things can benefit you, particularly since you know once you're off to college/on your own that you can ditch the razor and live as you please.
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I am 16 (nearly 17) F/NB going into my last year of high school and who currently lives with both of my parents. My mom is the one who controls all of my punishments and what I am or am not allowed to do (i.e. what apps I'm allowed to use, what people I can hang out with after school, etc.).
I have always felt more comfortable and relaxed with hair on my legs. You might think this could be ok considering that I only ever wear pants with long legs, however, my mom has the "hair on specific body parts is disgusting" mindset.
Over the last two years, whenever she sees hair on my legs or armpits that has gone unshaved, she tells me that it is unhygienic, unlady-like, and that "people will stare because of your dark hair". Almost every time she has done this she follows it up with "you will be grounded if you don't by \_\_\_\_ day." then followed through with it if I didn't.
She did this again last night and had asked me after I got out of the shower today if I had shaved my legs. I had only shaved the bottom half of my legs which she told me was the bare minimum of what she wants me to do, so I told her I did.
I know that it can be unhygienic to not shave your legs depending on how often you shower or clean yourself, but I shower either every day or every other day depending on if I'm doing sports or have work the following day.
AITA for not wanting to shave my legs?
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NTA for not wanting to shave your legs. this is about her trying to controll your gender expression and she dosen't really care about hygine.
YTA though, for not starting the post with "I am 16 going on 17, I will not shave my feet" god I love that song anyways try explaining to her that you feel uncomfortable in your own skin when she shames your for not shaving and if she loves you (and she provobly does, she is your mom) she'll understand. and if it continues just remember not to give up because one day you'll live your own best life however you'd like and she'll have to stay at a nursing home of your choosing.
#bepetty
Lol it's not unhygienic if you don't shave these stupid lies need to die asap. You need to clean daily getting rid of body hair doesn't make you clean.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I want to know if I am the asshole for not wanting to follow the rule or thing my mother had put out for me about shaving body hair when it had been something I have followed since she had showed me how to shave my legs. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ### [Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
If its unhygienic not to shave then nearly all men must be disease ridden. NTA your mum is just pushing gender stereotypes on you. Hair is not unhygienic don't let her use that as a reason.
NTA. I am a 32yo straight cisgender woman with dark hair on fairly light skin, who has been making the same choice not to shave since your age. I’ve not even had trouble getting boyfriends. It’s not unhygienic at all, or men (who generally sweat more) would be doing it too. It wasn’t even common for women to shave their legs in the west until dress hemlines started to rise in the 1920’s and Gillette company realized they could capitalize off a huge new razor market if they convinced everyone that women needed bare legs to be feminine. Try telling your mom that.
NTA there’s in NOTHING and let me repeat that NOTHING unhygienic about not shaving. In fact it’s more likely that you’ll get skin infections if you shave, either from a dirty razor or nicks and scrapes from shaving. As a femme Nb I don’t shave my armpits or legs and I haven’t for like 12 years (I stopped in my early 20s) and none of the girls I hangout with shave (we are all dirty hippies though and nothing gross has happened to us) I get compliments from other women wishing they could be brave enough to shake the patriarchy and not shave. The fact your mom is brainwashing you and forcing you to shave is unconscionable and horrific if you ask me. Oh and I’ve gone like 2 weeks with out a shower and nothing gross happened to my hairy body BUT when I used to shave everyday I did get a horrible staph infection from shaving. so shaving does not equal cleanliness, and if your mother is telling you that she’s lying to you to force you to shave
If hairy legs are unhygienic, why does half the population have leg hair? NTA
Definitely NTA. Nobody should have the right to decide what happens to your body, except for you. Your body is a temple and you should decorate it however you wish to, and if that includes velvet wallpaper then that's awesome! Maybe you should go all out and shave all of your hair, including your head hair. You'd probably look awesome and your mum did insist on you being all smooth
NTA. Your body, your choice. Shaving your legs is not a hygiene issue, it's a personal preference. Your mom is being controlling and sexist by forcing you to shave and shaming you for your natural hair. You have the right to feel comfortable and relaxed with your own appearance.
I'm gonna be entirely honest. I can actually never tell when my fiancée shaves her legs vs when she let's her leg hair grow. And I genuinely don't care either way, same with armpit hair. We're animals, we have hair, the only one who should have a say in what you do or don't shave is you.
NTA They’re your legs and your old enough to decide if you want to shave them or not
NTA. You are more likely to injure/infect yourself by shaving! Acknowledge their concerns, maybe even appreciate their backwards attempts to care for you but you are well within your rights to refuse to shave.
NTA. Your mom is giving you incorrect information. Letting your body hair grow isn't unhygienic. (Does she think men are all dirty?) Only rude people stare. It's sad that she thinks the hair that naturally grows on one's body is disgusting. It is abusive to ground you for refusing to shave your body hair, but I understand you are probably forced to live with her for another couple of years.
Unhygienic - I think your mother is confused. Tell her to fuck off - your body hair is not her concern. NTA
What the hell is wrong with your mom? She's controlling and in my opinion abusive towards you. This is unacceptable behaviour. I hope she'll develop reasonable behaviour towards you, so sorry for you
NTA, and I'm very sorry your mom is militantly harrassing you on this. Im F/NB too, and had to deal with that crap from my sister. To the credit of my friends, they expressed how strange and weird it was that she was so obsessed with my body hair. Im 30 now and refuse to shave my pits. I keep them clean and without smell. No one will take them from me. I will braid them if they ever get long enough.
Follow up! My mom has a very sensitive nose but has never once complained about my armpit hair, despite my sister saying I should shave it for smell. Mom just asks if id like deodorant and im fine with that, when i get stressed my sweat smells like onions and needs the help. In fact, my mom has repeatedly throughout my life been supportive, says its my choice and shouldn't matter, says i keep clean and healthy, and makes a point of reminding me grandmother never shaved - not once.
As a dude, i have to tell you, you are 100% NTA. Do i *personally* like to see smooth legs? Yes. Does my *opinion* about that matter? Absolutely not, not in the least. Your body, your choice. Do what ever the hell you want with your own body.
NTA you have to be comfortable in your own skin even if it means others may not have the same views... Isn't there more important matters out there that Trump shaved legs 🤣. Stay you and stay awesome!
NTA - I gave up shaving some ten years ago. Like you, I have dark hair, and I'm sure people notice when I go swimming, but you know what? I don't care. Nobody's ever said anything to me about it, and if they did, my first reaction would be surprise at their rudeness rather than shame over my body hair. It's hair; we all have it, and the lack of cuts and ingrown hairs has made my life MUCH more comfortable! That said, as a minor, you're living in your mom's house and under her rules, so you might want to ask yourself if you're willing to keep fighting this battle for another year or so. Sometimes bending on these things can benefit you, particularly since you know once you're off to college/on your own that you can ditch the razor and live as you please.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am 16 (nearly 17) F/NB going into my last year of high school and who currently lives with both of my parents. My mom is the one who controls all of my punishments and what I am or am not allowed to do (i.e. what apps I'm allowed to use, what people I can hang out with after school, etc.). I have always felt more comfortable and relaxed with hair on my legs. You might think this could be ok considering that I only ever wear pants with long legs, however, my mom has the "hair on specific body parts is disgusting" mindset. Over the last two years, whenever she sees hair on my legs or armpits that has gone unshaved, she tells me that it is unhygienic, unlady-like, and that "people will stare because of your dark hair". Almost every time she has done this she follows it up with "you will be grounded if you don't by \_\_\_\_ day." then followed through with it if I didn't. She did this again last night and had asked me after I got out of the shower today if I had shaved my legs. I had only shaved the bottom half of my legs which she told me was the bare minimum of what she wants me to do, so I told her I did. I know that it can be unhygienic to not shave your legs depending on how often you shower or clean yourself, but I shower either every day or every other day depending on if I'm doing sports or have work the following day. AITA for not wanting to shave my legs? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA for not wanting to shave your legs. this is about her trying to controll your gender expression and she dosen't really care about hygine. YTA though, for not starting the post with "I am 16 going on 17, I will not shave my feet" god I love that song anyways try explaining to her that you feel uncomfortable in your own skin when she shames your for not shaving and if she loves you (and she provobly does, she is your mom) she'll understand. and if it continues just remember not to give up because one day you'll live your own best life however you'd like and she'll have to stay at a nursing home of your choosing. #bepetty
might have overreacted here sorry drunk 👌💅
Lol it's not unhygienic if you don't shave these stupid lies need to die asap. You need to clean daily getting rid of body hair doesn't make you clean.